This was weird, right?

(133 Posts)
Grumpasaurus Mon 17-Mar-14 23:24:52

So I am walking up my road the other day, almost at my front door. This lady is walking towards me, and asks me to stop for a minute, which I did. The conversation goes as follows:

Her: are you Portuguese?

Me: no, Canadian (thinking, I am blond and so pale I am almost transparent and have a thick Canadian accent)...

Her: oh (silence). Do you have family in Portugal?

Me: no.

Her: I have family in Portugal but I grew up in America. I am still half Portuguese though.

Me: oh.

Her: so when did you visit Portugal?

Me: never been.

Her: but last year, when you hung your laundry up in the garden, I noticed you had a tea towel from Portugal.

Me: nope I have never been. (panicking slightly- I had never seen this lady before yet she seemed certain she knew me AND my laundry!)

Her: that tea towel is definitely from Portugal, I recognize the cockerel on it.

Me: maybe! Maybe some friends gave it to us, I don't remember where I got it.

Her: you got it in Portugal.

Me: I have never been to Portugal

Her: launches into a five minute tirade about how I should go and that I really should learn how to speak the language.

Me: alright then, see you later (secretly hoping not to ever see her again and considering buying some sort of private-fence system)!

Weird, non?

MissMarplesBloomers Mon 17-Mar-14 23:31:22

Barking- teach you not to speak to strangers heh ?!!!!

grin shamrock

Mad!

I once got cornered by a vagrant in the US who was convinced that he'd met me at an airport in Ireland.
It was my first visit to the US and I've never been to Ireland.
After fifteen minutes I just agreed and said I had a bad memory.

SallyMcgally Mon 17-Mar-14 23:32:59

Oh dear God.

Yep odd.

I once got cornered by a drunk on a train platform who had a huge lump of tobacco stuck to his cheek.

He insisted I was planning on being a nurse (I wasn't) and berated me for 20 minutes (following me around the station) telling me it would eat a sweet young girl like me alive hmm

People are weird!

bubblegoose Mon 17-Mar-14 23:36:34

Are you quite sure you're not Portugese?

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 17-Mar-14 23:38:35

Definitely weird!

She's right though, you should go to Portugal. I recommend splitting your time between Lisbon and Sintra.

YouAreMyRain Mon 17-Mar-14 23:40:13

You MUST have been to Portugal!

MikeLitoris Mon 17-Mar-14 23:42:15

You are obviously Portuguese if you have a tea towel from there.

Or have you got a nandos tea towel?

And that SO is a cockerel on your tea towel!

WorraLiberty Mon 17-Mar-14 23:42:51

OMG that reminds me of the time I was walking back from the school run and two ladies stopped their car in the middle of the road.

One got out and said "Hi are you Kosovan?"

I said "Errrm no?"

She said "That's such a shame, I was hoping to have a chat with you about Kosovo."

She then calmly got back in her car and buggered off.

I've never seen her since confused

smorticus Mon 17-Mar-14 23:44:22

How daft of you Grumps ! Of course you have been to Portugal, how else would you have a tea towel with cockerel on?

MrsRuffdiamond Mon 17-Mar-14 23:44:30

This is really odd.
How can you have a Portuguese tea towel and not know where it's come from?
Surely you're familiar with the provenance of all of your tea towels? I know I am. grin

IneedAwittierNickname Mon 17-Mar-14 23:47:10

Wow, so now we take on the nationality of our tea-towels? Fab, I'm Australian!

IneedAwittierNickname Mon 17-Mar-14 23:48:48

Although, thinking about it, I also have some from Cornwall <sob> now I'm all confused.

Could you be Portugese and not realise?

McFox Mon 17-Mar-14 23:51:44

Weird smile

Years ago, while travelling, I was sitting eating lunch in a restaurant in Memphis and a guy walked up to me and said, in French, do you speak French? I replied, again in French, yes I do. He smiled, nodded like he just knew it and walked off...

RevoltingPeasant Mon 17-Mar-14 23:52:33

I don't know so much, OP.

When I was peering over your garden fence a few months ago it looked more Spanish to me.

Are you Spanish?

I hope you're not going to tell me you've never been to Spain.....

People regularly get very grumpy with DH because he isn't South African.

NobodyLivesHere Mon 17-Mar-14 23:55:12

Hahaha!!

Reminds me of the time I was walking down the street and this guy stopped me

Him- how's Kay?
Me-...I don't know anyone called Kay..
Him- you know, Kay! Your sister!
Me- I think you have me mixed up with someone else
Him- I don't! laughs can't believe you don't remember your own sister. Tell Kay I said hello

And then just walks off!

Also, the old lady at the hospital who insisted my ex was Debbie Dingles boyfriend from Emmerdale.

YouTheCat Mon 17-Mar-14 23:56:23

I thought the cockerel was a French thing? Are you French?

Mycatistoosexy Mon 17-Mar-14 23:57:48

I had a man at work (I worked in a customer-facing job) once come up to me and start talking in Polish.

I said "I'm really sorry, I don't speak Polish"

He laughed and carried on in Polish.

I had to assure him five times that I really don't speak Polish before he believed me.

OpalQuartz Tue 18-Mar-14 00:01:17

Why do they get grumpy with your dh because he isn't south African? They'd be pleased as punch with mine as he is south African.

Iloveonionchutney Tue 18-Mar-14 00:04:04

Maybe it's a really important tea towel and you need to ask Portugal if they'd like it back!

YouTheCat Tue 18-Mar-14 00:08:42

I feel an international incident coming on.

WTFlike Tue 18-Mar-14 00:10:08

Is this a reverse AIBU? OP, it's not cool to wander around begging people to be Portuguese.

AcrossthePond55 Tue 18-Mar-14 00:16:57

Hmmm. Something suspicious, OP denying she's Portuguese. I think she's a SPY! It's the cockerel that gave her away!

MrsRuffdiamond Tue 18-Mar-14 00:24:30

Op, the lady that stopped you must be a NDN, as she has been able to correctly identify an item of laundry hanging up in your back garden, yet you claim never to have seen her before.

Have you considered that you may be suffering from amnesia, having also lost any memory of your holiday to Portugal last year, when you in fact purchased the tea towel?
grin

Opal, he apparently looks like he should be South African.
I don't know if South Africans in England are especially pleased to spot a compatriot far from home and are therefore more upset when they realise DH is English.

thisonehasalittlecar Tue 18-Mar-14 00:33:54

Look, if you are worried that you might be Portuguese this is a really safe and nurturing environment to explore those feelings. We are all here for you! I'm sure someone Portuguese will be on here soon to offer help and advice about accepting your nationality and breaking the news to family and friends.

EurotrashGirl Tue 18-Mar-14 00:34:13

This reminds me of an incident last year when I was studying, My best friend and I were in the uni pub and I had gone to the bathroom. A man came up to BF and asked her:
Man "How is Sam?"
BF: "Sam?"
Man gestures at my coat and bag and says "You know, Sam!Your friend Sam" and describes me.
BF: "Er, do you mean Euro?"
The man had left the table but was still in the pub when I got back. My friend pointed him out to me and I honestly don't remember ever seeing him before!

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi Tue 18-Mar-14 00:43:02

nobody I love that he thought it was more likely you had forgotten you had a sister than that he had the wrong person grin

It's like when you get a wrong number and when you tell them they say "are you sure?" Like you might be confused about your own name and number hmm

Now then grumpasaurus what's with all the lying about Portugal eh? Are you in some kind of denial? We all know you have been there because we all know about that tea towel so you might as well just 'fess up now

grin

UncleT Tue 18-Mar-14 00:51:54

Phew, what a looney! Tea towel indeed.....

exexpat Tue 18-Mar-14 00:59:30

I think this thread is just an elaborate set-up so that Grumpasaurus can use the classic phrase "I AM CANADIAN" and steal the MN out-and-proud Canadian title from StewieGriffinsMom.

vrtra Tue 18-Mar-14 01:26:40

I always get asked if I'm Portuguese online for some reason! or rather, "tuga?"

Someone asked me if I was Hmong once... had to google it

GarlicMarchHare Tue 18-Mar-14 02:04:38

Nem se preocupe, Anna, ser Português não é causa para se envergonhar. Você poderia talvez tentar confiar seu segredo numa amiga próxima, para começar, e peça-lhe para apoiá-la em saindo gradualmente como Português?

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 18-Mar-14 05:25:30

Grump do you think you ought to look into some counselling to help you gain some acceptance of your true Portuguese heritage?

Cuxibamba Tue 18-Mar-14 05:47:29

I am asked if I'm Scottish. I'm ginger, but that's the only possible connection, and even that is nothing specifically Scottish in any way. Some people don't know the right word in English, and kind of gesture in a hurgh sort of way and pretend to play bagpipes (because they don't believe I could know the language of the country I am a citizen in and have lived in for nearly nine years...). I am not Scottish. I am not even British. Currently, I've not set foot in Britain. I have an American accent. My neighbour still believes I am Scottish despite being invited round for Thanksgiving for the last four years.

TwitMcAwesome Tue 18-Mar-14 05:58:19

Lol, I get told I must be Scottish, Irish, Welsh and vegetarian.
I am an English meat eater.
Am I sure?
Yep.
Although in fairness I have Scottish and Irish 'in me' I live near Wales and I eat salad.

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Tue 18-Mar-14 05:58:35

Ah it's time to admit to being Portuguese really OP, come on now, you know you'll feel better if you just fess up!

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Tue 18-Mar-14 06:05:15

Perhaps start slowly,, say by going on a few websites about Portugal, y'know in the privacy of your own home wink and then....when you feel able and more relaxed about it, perhaps start wearing a Portuguese T shirt in the house and it will be surprising that one day you will feel comfortable in a more public setting wearing it and also able to ask those awkward questions about your Portugueseness without feeling doubts. It may take some time but you will get there. It just takes the first few steps that is all. Try www.closetportuguese.com

CuttedUpPear Tue 18-Mar-14 06:06:48

I need to confess ...

I have a tea towel with a Portuguese cockerel on it.

It came from a boot sale in Gloucester.

I have been to Portugal 4 times.

I am not the OP confused

kerala Tue 18-Mar-14 06:07:21

Dh was waiting at a bus stop at night when an old lady marched up to him and hissed right into his face"you should be ashamed!". Poor dh quite shaken he has lived a pretty blameless life, had never seen the lady before and was just minding his own business at a bus stop.

FamiliesShareGerms Tue 18-Mar-14 06:10:04

Have you tried being Portugese, OP?

JeanSeberg Tue 18-Mar-14 06:31:37

The sad thing is I don't think she's even prepared to try Families. sad

BikeRunSki Tue 18-Mar-14 06:38:07

I have just realised that my tea towels are better travelled than I am!

AramintaDeWinter Tue 18-Mar-14 06:43:30

Yes it is weird. It is weird that you deny your Portugality-ness - dying your hair blonde and pretending to be Canadian - why are you so ashamed of your true nationality?
The fact that you hang a Portugese tea towel on your washing line says to me that on a subconscious level you do want to embrace your true origins.
Let your hair colour grow out, ditch the Joni Mitchell CDs and the Alice Munro books, put those lumberjack shirts away, and Be Proud To Be Portugese.

Eatriskier Tue 18-Mar-14 06:47:50

Well if anyone saw my tea towels they would know I'm part new Zealander part madeiran. Actually you wouldn't need my tea towels as my alabaster skin and near gingerness is a blatant giveaway and nothing whatsoever to do with this Irish family crap I claim wink

JustAboutAdeqeuate Tue 18-Mar-14 06:53:44

I briefly went out with someone at uni who decided we had no future as I would be going back to Canada at the end of the year. I'm from Northern Ireland, I had never even been to Canada, but he just would not accept that. Weirdo.

YouTheCat Tue 18-Mar-14 07:41:13

Omg I have a tea towel with a cat on it! Am I really a cat?

I hope so. Then I can laze around all day long, sleeping and stuff.

Eatriskier Tue 18-Mar-14 08:00:46

youthecat you really are the cat wink

wowfudge Tue 18-Mar-14 08:01:47

Sounds as though she may be lonely and thought she had some common ground with you. A bit batty to insist you learn the language though.

GeraldineFangedVagine Tue 18-Mar-14 08:04:16

You must start dressing in the portugese national dress, carrying a nandos bag of chicken around with you, eating those little custard tarts and swigging beer. Still deny any knowledge of portugal. Do it with a portugese accent. Change your surname to silva. That will mess her up.

GroupieGirl Tue 18-Mar-14 09:15:49

This reminds me of my husband's first meeting with my dad...

After my dad left, my husband said, "He doesn't have much of an accent, does he? If anything he sounds northern."

Me: "Well, yeah, he's from Yorkshire..." <confused>

H: "I thought he was French?" <also confused>

Me: "Err..no...where'd you get that idea?"

H: "But you're half French. And your mum isn't French, so I thought it must be your dad. How come you're half French if he's from Yorkshire?"

It took me some time to convince him that I am not, nor have I ever been, half French. I'm really not sure how he came to this conclusion.

Oh, and we'd been together for over a year at this point...

meeps Tue 18-Mar-14 09:24:36

2 ladies in a charity shop decided to have a 5 minute chat about how I totally definitely 'had a look of the Irish about her' without really paying attention to anything I said about knowing of nothing Irish in my heritage, never having been there etc... settling on, 'yes, every time I see her I think that, that she has the look of the Irish about her..'

Slongette Tue 18-Mar-14 09:26:54

Nandos is actually South African so carrying around a bag of Nandos would just be confusing!

StanleyLambchop Tue 18-Mar-14 09:38:07

I have a cockerel t-towel. I also have one with Newton & Ridley on it, bought from Granada Studios. Does this mean I am in fact a glamourous star of Coronation Street? I do hope so. I could ask the school if they wanted me to open their summer fayre or something.

Grumpasaurus Tue 18-Mar-14 09:38:08

Aha ha this is killing me! MN your responses have really made me smile!

In a way I am pleased to know I am not the only one!! In another way, it worries me that there are sooo many weirdos out there, who feel just so very comfortable approaching others and asking deeply personal questions!

Ha!

I just remembered that I was also once approaches by a couple in a car, who were driving by and were convinced I was Ukrainian.

Still not Ukrainian.

Still Canadian.

And I didn't have a tea towel on me!

IceBeing Tue 18-Mar-14 09:41:21

I am on the other side of this - I thought my DH was half Italian and accused my MIL to be of being Italian...she is actually American and grew up in Germany...so I think it obvious how I made that mistake!

Grumpasaurus Tue 18-Mar-14 09:41:48

Geraldine- that is brilliant.

Maybe I should pick a different nation every day.

Would have to buy a lot of new tea-towels, though...

Grumpasaurus Tue 18-Mar-14 09:48:28

Also, thinking about it, I am on a roll!

There is an Irish lady at work who is convinced I am Irish. Keeps telling me I haven't lost my accent at all.

Maybe it's ME? Maybe I suffer from multiple personality disorder and DONT EVEN KNOW.

Or maybe I should just move back to Canada. Where, now, I have been gone so long and picked up the SLIGHTEST hint of an accent, so everyone there asks where I am from.

I say "Canada, here, I am from HERE"

Inevitably, they respond "no, I mean, originally"

RevoltingPeasant Tue 18-Mar-14 09:56:17

My old tutor at university referred to me to the other staff (one told me later) as that nice blonde Irish girl. I have red hair. I am English.

When we met my sister's in laws to be at her wedding, the grandma hugged me and gasped out, "I'm Irish too!"

I am still not Irish. I'd have a much nicer accent if I were....

coffeeinbed Tue 18-Mar-14 10:00:27

I must be Swedish.
All my tea towels come from Ikea.

I just didn't realise it until now.

NymodigFruOla Tue 18-Mar-14 10:07:53

I've got a tea towel from St Anton, so I must be Austrian? Except my German is rubbish!

AramintaDeWinter Tue 18-Mar-14 10:50:41

Next time there's a thread along the lines of "Help my passport has expired and I'm going abroad in 2 days time!" the advice should be simple - take a tea towel showing your national identity and customs will wave you through, no problem.
I do feel sorry for your neighbour OP - she sounds lonely and with very little to occupy her time.

Oo i had one last week

her: how old is the baby?
me: 9 weeks
her: so how long ago did you have it?
me:... 9 weeks ago?
her: what colour is it?
me: ... Me coloured?

then started a rant about how her white boyfriend treats her appallingly, but her old black one was lovely.

i tried explaining to her that the colour of someone's skin doesn't make them nasty or nice but she didn't get it.

Beehatch Tue 18-Mar-14 11:00:00

Don't you mean multiple nationality disorder? grin

offblackeggshell Tue 18-Mar-14 11:02:44

DH was once told by a waiter that he knew him really well. He even produced photos of "the two of them together" to show DH. The other bloke looked nothing like DH.

applepearorangebear Tue 18-Mar-14 11:08:56

I was asked repeatedly whether I was Swedish or not by a rather odd man I met in France. When I told him (for about the twentieth time) that I definitely wasn't he triumphantly replied "But I thought you looked like a TURNIP!! Oh how I didn't laugh...

I've also been asked whether DD (blonde, blue-eyed, pale) is mixed race or not. Half-Swedish maybe?

isitme1 Tue 18-Mar-14 11:09:55

Op I can sympathise with you!

On numerous occasions ive been told I look
-arabic
-polish
-english
-persain and moroccan. When I was working a guy used to come in and insisted I was moroccan and would try and have a conversation with me in their language. Im not moroccan. I am mixed race so I can understand a bit of confusion but not all that much

RufusTheReindeer Tue 18-Mar-14 11:14:11

Typical bloody AIBU thread

OP - am I being unreasonable to pretend I'm not portugeuse?

Everyone - YABU

OP - no I'm not!

grin

FriendlyLadybird Tue 18-Mar-14 11:17:26

My (dark-skinned) DH is constantly being addressed in Arabic, Spanish, Portuguese or Italian.

My favourite occasion was when he was in a bar in Italy with a friend. Everyone absolutely insisted that he was Italian and pretending to be English in order -- get this -- to attract women.

Blithereens Tue 18-Mar-14 11:25:39

I've got a tea towel from the London Dungeon. I now realise I must be imprisoned, historical and dead. What a rubbish Tuesday sad

Ploppy16 Tue 18-Mar-14 11:31:12

Just before Christmas I was wandering round the a Manchester market with the DC's who have fairly light colouring whereas I have darker features. A woman on one of the stalls said "oh do you celebrate Christmas then" followed by asking why we did and how lovely it was that we obviously did it for the children. I got a bit confused until I realised that she thought I was Jewish and from foreign parts (I never got that particular detail). I told her that I was in fact not Jewish and was very local, about 20 minutes away from the centre of Manchester in fact.
She then accused me of being anti Semitic for denying my Jewish roots...

weirdthing Tue 18-Mar-14 11:36:37

Haha I thought this kind of thing only happened to me. I am N.Irish and have had (in N.Ireland) 'Do you speak English?' said in a slow voice. (I am an English teacher).

Also, an old man asked me recently, 'Are you Iranian or Iraqi?' Me: 'Er neither.'

I also had an Afro-Caribbean lady ask me what 'mix' my son was. I said fully Causcasian and she gave me a look of disgust like I was willfully hiding my mixed-race heritage. I am fully N.Irish with loads of red haired aunts, uncles, you name it but have (just be the quirks of DNA) inherited sallow skin, full lips, dark eyes and hair. It appears that I don't look my actual racial heritage.

FossilMum Tue 18-Mar-14 11:44:56

I have some tea towels from Canada you can have.

They have "Tea Towel" written on them in large friendly letters, apparently in an attempt to avoid any potential sources of misunderstanding.

No cockerels or maple leaves or other insidious identifying marks.

(At least she wasn't convinced you were American wink)

TheCalvert Tue 18-Mar-14 11:48:17

Are you sure Cockerel tea towel isn't code for something? I'd be worried - MI6 could be parked outside your house in a nondescript white transit and she may have been warning you to get back to Portugal...

ScrambledSmegs Tue 18-Mar-14 12:24:25

I have a tea towel from Chatsworth House. Does this mean I'm the Duchess of Devonshire?

<crosses fingers>

Caff2 Tue 18-Mar-14 12:30:59

I have a teatowel that says "Sainsbury's" on the label. I'm a bloody supermarket chain. sad Or belong to one, I guess.

Owllady Tue 18-Mar-14 12:35:02

The lady in the original post sounds like she may have aspergers syndrome.

SelectAUserName Tue 18-Mar-14 12:40:36

I have a tea towel from the Suffolk Punch Trust. That makes me fat and orange. At least if anyone asks me if I'm Portuguese I can say "neigh".

rightsaidfrederick Tue 18-Mar-14 12:45:28

Completely barking, but almost certainly totally harmless!

ThomasLynn Tue 18-Mar-14 12:49:50

I have been addressed in German often enough that I am no longer surprised. I can also say "Sorry, you've got the wrong language, I speak no German."

But when it comes to teatowels, mine are all made in Bangladesh.

I don't think I'm Bangladeshi... <hurries to the mirror>

Bahhhhhumbug Tue 18-Mar-14 12:50:33

I have once been told that I am definitely not half Italian - I am btw <stamps foot>
'No way , are you half Italian , you would at least have a little bit of a tan if you were'.
Me: 'I get my fair skin from my Irish side'

Them: ' Nah, not having it , there is no way on this earth you are any Italian '

Err , ok then....

SnowieBear Tue 18-Mar-14 12:56:09

It's great to see it happens to so many of you!

I'm Spanish, but don't have a Spanish accent in English, I just sound "indefinte foreign" grin. So, people normally have good fun playing "guess where she hails from" - they normally go for Dutch as a first option (must ask DH, do I look Dutch?).

Anyways, there's a certain type of man in business meetings that will not ask and be extremely convinced of his own assessment of my roots. Meeting will proceed in English and, for the close, as a parting shot, he would say something to me in what he presumes is my mother tongue. Except that it'll be French, or Italian, or Dutch... even Portuguese!

I just smile sweetly. If they press the point, I ask them: que?

Lovecat Tue 18-Mar-14 12:57:31

I was once told by a Chinese waiter (in a Chinese restaurant) that I was definitely Chinese and why was I trying to hide it...

I'm half Irish, half Scottish/South African... confused He was very insistent, and got quite upset that I was 'pretending' not to speak Mandarin...

Mind you, I have been mistaken for DD's nanny (she takes after her half-Austrian dad with blonde hair and blue eyes) in the Diana playground in Kensington Park...

YouTheCat Tue 18-Mar-14 13:05:07

Bahhhhh, I'm also very pale skinned and of Italian decent.

Never get any freebies in the local Italian restaurant or anything.

AladdinKingOfTheives Tue 18-Mar-14 13:06:52

Ah so glad im not the only one, people always think in Jewish too even when I deny it! I am also frequently confused with being German and once had a Russian man tell me I definitely looked Russian.

Bahhhhhumbug Tue 18-Mar-14 13:12:35

Me neither You . I have dark eyes and hair but very pale freckly skin .My sister otoh has got lovely olive skin and only has to put her nose out the front door on a sunny day to get a lovely deep tan. <bitter>.

GoldenGytha Tue 18-Mar-14 13:20:32

I also only have dish towels with cats on them, so I must be a cat too.

I am Scottish, of Danish descent so I'm a Viking really.

Off to do some pillaging and slaughtering now.

Cocolepew Tue 18-Mar-14 13:26:23

I had a row with one of the pony and trap drivers(?) in Central Park. He insisted I was Welsh, I'm from N.Ireland but have an English accent. He was very insitent and god knows why I sat arguing instead of just agreeing for a quiet life.

When he finally dropped it he asked what our names were.
Guess who has a name that is also a place in Wales?

LittleVikingChick Tue 18-Mar-14 13:26:50

I don't even have any tea towels , so what does that make me?

SelectAUserName Tue 18-Mar-14 13:40:52

"I don't even have any tea towels , so what does that make me?"

Someone who dines off paper plates?

LittleVikingChick Tue 18-Mar-14 13:41:27

Someone with a diswasher :-)

LittleVikingChick Tue 18-Mar-14 13:42:23

Though, as a student, very much paper plates, and chippy..

TinyTear Tue 18-Mar-14 13:47:38

Well, I am Portuguese (no cockerel tea towels though and as soon as I stop paying nursery fees will get British nationality but that is a different story) and I have been called:

Belgian
Dutch
Swedish
Polish

AnneOfCleavage Tue 18-Mar-14 13:54:01

"I don't even have any tea towels , so what does that make me?"

Invisible?

kelper Tue 18-Mar-14 14:00:14

Dh "borrowed" a teatowel for me from Jamie's Oliver's restaurant rectly, does that make me or him jamie Oliver?.....

kelper Tue 18-Mar-14 14:00:50

What the actual fuck, ipad?! Rectly?! Recently even!

FabBakerGirl Tue 18-Mar-14 14:26:30

Most of my tea towels come from Asda but I have one commemorating the Jubilee and three designed by each of my children.

<wail> I am not funny or clever enough to work out what that makes me confusedsad.

SergeantJarhead Tue 18-Mar-14 14:43:37

I'm Welsh, from the Rhondda Valleys in fact but don't sound it. My accent is terrible, it's all over the place. I've got a habit of pronouncing words in full, whereas in my area people generally drop a vowel or two (which is very nice, sounds friendly). However, I have had people telling me that I must be Scottish and I can't have been born in Wales. I also know a guy who demands that I tell everyone I'm Canadian :/ ... I thought it only happened to me lols

Sidge Tue 18-Mar-14 14:51:04

Ha I love it when people challenge you on something you know to be true.

When DD1 was a baby I had dressed her in a little reversible navy/lemon hoodie-cardigan thingy.

Woman in a post office queue referred to her as him.

"Tis a girl" sez I.

"NO it can't be", sez she, "He's wearing NAVY!"

"Um, I saw her come out of my body and have checked since, she's definitely a girl" sez me.

"No" sez she, "only boys wear blue".

My face was like this ----> hmm

Eatriskier Tue 18-Mar-14 15:24:05

Actually I've just realised people have accused me for years of being from new Zealand and my dad bought me that tea towel. Maybe he's trying to tell me something shock

JeanSeberg Tue 18-Mar-14 15:38:45

So many people in denial on here he he.

minniebar Tue 18-Mar-14 15:58:59

We've still got a Christmas tea towel out. Does that make me Mrs Claus? It would explain the large belly that and the biscuits

WholeNutt Tue 18-Mar-14 16:02:06

Learn 4 words to appease her.. Do fuck off dear.

AcrossthePond55 Thu 20-Mar-14 00:48:46

I have my late Cornish grandmother's set of English China…can I claim to be Cornish? No? How about Chinese, then? No? Ok, I'm American (slinks away)

ohmymimi Thu 20-Mar-14 08:32:30

Bom dia Grumpasurus smile

Catsize Thu 20-Mar-14 08:57:09

OP, how nice of you to be so understanding of a lady with apparent mental health difficulties.confused

Merefin Thu 20-Mar-14 09:02:26

I have a tea towel from the Lake District but I am from the West Country.

Is this why I feel so conflicted in everyday life? It may explain why I am dithery and hopeless. I am deeply torn at a sub conscious level and ache for my roots in the north.

Merefin Thu 20-Mar-14 09:07:04

Also, there is lady at the swimming pool who is often there at the same time as me. She calls me Deirdre and reminisces about when we worked together. This has been going for some years, but I stopped correcting her a long time ago as she wouldn't have it. I now answer to Deirdre and laugh along with her at our 'antics' in the past. She is very nice but away with the fairies. It whiles away the time whilst the DCs swim, so I'm happy enough.

Alpacacino Thu 20-Mar-14 09:10:16

That must have been some Secret Service employee making a daft mistake. International espionage. Definitely.

"The cheese is in the trunk."

Scuttlebug Thu 20-Mar-14 09:14:06

I was in a night club years ago when this big muscular bloke bounded up to me and excitedly said" omg, how are you ? Do you remember me from school?"

To which I could only reply, no mate, I went to an all girls school.

How we laughed at his failed chat up line! hmm

TiggyCBE Thu 20-Mar-14 09:18:44

OP is definitely Portuguese but in denial.

SoleSource Thu 20-Mar-14 09:21:24

Olá colega mulher português. usar sua toalha de chá com orgulho em sua cabeça!

WilsonFrickett Thu 20-Mar-14 09:26:09

I've got one of those school fundraising tea towels with badly-drawn pictures of 100-odd kids on it. Who am I? <multiple tea-towel personality disorder>

WilsonFrickett Thu 20-Mar-14 09:26:48

Oh, no! I know! I'm Badly Drawn Boy grin

OP you need to reach out and embrace the Portugeseeness. Think of the custard tarts...

SoleSource Thu 20-Mar-14 09:27:38

Erma you have a tea towel with other peoples kids on? <calls Police>

one of the weirdest encounters I've ever had with a stranger was when I was about 12 at a train station. He seemed to be having a conversation with a teenage lad and then came over to me saying 'do I look like a paedophile to you?' totally out of the blue, I hadn't even noticed him prior to that. very unnerving too.

kelper

Dh "borrowed" a teatowel for me from Jamie's Oliver's restaurant rectly, does that make me or him jamie Oliver?.....

For one moment I thought you were telling us the manner in which your H managed to smuggle the teatowel out of the restaurant... grin

If we come from the same place as our tea towels, I come from my parents' house.
Which is true grin

I have an Australian Tea Towel (bought when in Aus)
I have a Canadian Tea Towel (bought when in Canada)
I have an American Tea Towel (bought when in the US)

I'm British. Honestly.

Just realised that nobody has said, "Canadian, eh?"

PecanSandy Thu 20-Mar-14 19:30:31

I'm American and was once in a restaurant in Munich with a Belgian friend. We were speaking French. Suddenly this woman at the next table touched my arm and said, in English, "You know, the vorst vine I hev ever hed came from America. It was from the XXX winery in Arkansas." Which was very weird, because that's where I lived as a teenager, and Arkansas is not at all known for its wines (and rightly so, the woman was spot on,m they were pretty crap 20+ years ago, couldn't say now).

Grumpasaurus Thu 20-Mar-14 22:22:22

Ha ha I just returned to this and it made me laugh even more at how absurd it all was.

And, it made me realise there are a fair few funnies out there smile.

Dierdra (if that is your real name) don't you remember all the fun we had working together? Some of the best times of my life, those!

Catfish- FFS, if I promise that I spend proportionally more time telling self deprecating stories about my own questionable mental health than I do regaling strange tea towel stories, will you forgive me for my blatant lack of compassion and understanding?

This is making me chuckle, I have had a couple of bizarre encounters myself!

Reading festival - 1999 - I was dancing in the rave tent and this guy keeps looking over at me like he recognises me...eventually he comes up to me and says

"I'm a really big fan, I've seen all your movies"

To which I reply

"Movies? What the fuck are you on about mate??"

"Oh I thought you were Swedish"

"Swedish? Eh??!"

"You're that porn star aren't you?!"

<<ScarletLady02 runs away>>

So yeah, apparently I have a Swedish porn star doppleganger out there somewhere...

I was also once accosted at a bus stop by a man who wanted to try on my knee high boots...

CumberCookie Thu 20-Mar-14 23:01:12

For goodness sake Catsize the OP was perfectly civil to her (more so than some would have been!)

I have a tea towel with a Welsh dragon on and a Guinness tea towel, I must be of mixed Irish-Welsh decent!

Grumpasaurus Thu 20-Mar-14 23:07:37

Thanks cumbercookie! I was civil! I even told her I would think about learning the language (that was a lie, I already speak Spanish and am easily confused!), that Portugal was high on my list of to visit (true- it looks stunning), and that it was nice to meet her (it wasn't).

She wandered off happily enough!

Merefin Thu 20-Mar-14 23:19:43

Oh yes grump I remember you well! You had the desk next to Wilma didn't you? Happy days. I wonder what Mr Keldrick the big boss, is up to now?

Etc etc. I've totally mastered making it all up now. I almost believe it myself.

AnnieIncognito Thu 20-Mar-14 23:28:08

I'm not a lumberjack or a fur trader.
I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber or own a dog sled.
And I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a prime minister, not a president.
I speak English and French, not American.
And I pronounce it about, not aboot.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing.
Diversity, not assimilation.
And that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch.
And it is pronounced zed, not zee, zed.
Canada is the second largest landmass, the first nation of hockey and the best part of North America.
My name is Grumpasaurus, and I am Canadian

defonamechangedforthis Thu 20-Mar-14 23:43:04

opal id be pleased with your DH, south African accent is the most sexy thing I have ever heard! ! wink

JeanSeberg Fri 21-Mar-14 05:37:56

Sorry but a South African accent always reminds me of this:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=aeDk6ZeGNnU

MidniteScribbler Fri 21-Mar-14 05:52:11

This reminded me of many (many, many!) years ago when I was in high school and working in a store in Australia. A woman came in and started talking at me in her native language. I apologised and said I did not understand. She did it again. I apologised again and said I did not understand. She then said, with a perfect Australian accent "don't you speak cantonese? Well you bloody well should" and walked out.

I'm still scratching my head about that one.

complexnumber Fri 21-Mar-14 06:01:44

I'd ask for this thread to be removed. You could easily be identified in RL now by your tea towel.

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