to think my neighbour is being incredibly unreasonable about our cat?

(198 Posts)
Objection Mon 17-Mar-14 18:27:55

We've recently moved into a very tiny village, two doors down from my in - laws. (moved in December)
We have a dog and a cat. (no kids)
FIL said the other day that my cat was pissing off their neighbour.
Apparently neighbour is absolutely furious and the cat is causing all kinds of hell.
What hell, you ask?
Well, she sunbathes on his dustbin and sits up when he comes out in the morning to stare at him getting into his car.
Apparently the ragey shouting we hear most mornings is him screaming at the cat, who just looks at him whilst he does so.
FIL, I think, expected me to do something about the cat's "rudeness".

AIBU to think this is actually quite funny and neighbour is a little unhinged?

Oakmaiden Mon 17-Mar-14 18:29:29

Remind him that a cat may look at a king.

Or something.

No - you are definitely not being unreasonable, if all your cat is doing is looking. But I bet that is not all it is doing. I bet it is silently JUDGING your neighbour, as well...

Pedantichag Mon 17-Mar-14 18:30:39

I can just imagine your cats expression wink

pyjamaramadrama Mon 17-Mar-14 18:30:50

Oh this has really cheered me up.

Your cat sounds adorable.

Does the cat lick her fanjo whilst winking at the neighbour?

pussycatdoll Mon 17-Mar-14 18:31:58

I bet your cat is shitting all over his lawn

or if it isn't some other cat is and he thinks it's yours

DramaAlpaca Mon 17-Mar-14 18:32:20

I'm sure your cat knows perfectly well that the neighbour doesn't like cats & is going all out to annoy him by looking at him.

Cats always know grin

Onesleeptillwembley Mon 17-Mar-14 18:33:16

Aw ffs. Typical pfc behaviour. Teach your fucking cat some manners. grin

KiwiBanana Mon 17-Mar-14 18:33:46

Yabvu and so is your cat. If i were your neighbour is be calling the police ASAP!

mrsjay Mon 17-Mar-14 18:34:42

oh your cat should show the man his butt means he lieks him even more stupid man

Objection Mon 17-Mar-14 18:34:50

Nope, no shitting on his lawn - I asked!

crazynanna Mon 17-Mar-14 18:35:09

You know your cat is saying to himself, whilst watching your shouty-purple-with-rage neighbour:

"What a fucking arsehole...who is he shouting at?"


Objection Mon 17-Mar-14 18:35:43

(the neighbour not the cat, no point asking her - she's a compulsive liar)

DameEdnasBridesmaid Mon 17-Mar-14 18:36:13

I don't like cats, hate them but even I could handle a cat looking at me.

I think cats do look at me funny-like because they know I don't like them. Fair enough.

vestandknickers Mon 17-Mar-14 18:36:59

That's hilarious.

Can you get your cat a little T shirt with the neighbour's face on it for her to wear?

Your cat sounds brilliant. grin

crazynanna Mon 17-Mar-14 18:36:59

(the neighbour not the cat, no point asking her - she's a compulsive liar)

...And a rude,stary bitch wink

Famzilla Mon 17-Mar-14 18:37:16

Hahaha. Your cat sounds brilliant. I wish our neighbours 5 cats (yes, 5) would do something cute like that instead of using my tiny garden as their litter tray.

Objection Mon 17-Mar-14 18:38:17

I am tempted to draw raised eyebrows on her to increase the judginess of her look.

Mothergothel99 Mon 17-Mar-14 18:39:48

Your cat knows! My dog makes a beeline for every dog hating person he meets.

Tell him you'll have a word with said cat.

crazynanna Mon 17-Mar-14 18:41:49

Like this? Does she stare like this?

SmashleyHop Mon 17-Mar-14 18:42:14

Sorry this thread made me think of this..

cozietoesie Mon 17-Mar-14 18:45:12

Well I can quite understand his position. That cat should be inside getting ready for school! Be prepared for the report to Social Services.

Objection Mon 17-Mar-14 18:45:50

I didn't know we could get photos on AIBU now!!!

And she does suffer a little from RBF (resting bitch face]

OurMiracle1106 Mon 17-Mar-14 18:46:18

Personally I would stroke the cat as I walked past it n say morning kitty (or tabby or similar) and think no more of it. I once woke having left ny back door open to a white cat laying on me. She used to come in a far bit after that. Was nice to have a cat about but I grew up with animals so doesn't bother me

parakeet Mon 17-Mar-14 18:47:42

But, from what you say, it's not just the neighbour, it's also your FIL who is unhinged, no?

What did you say to your FIL when you heard about your cat's "rudeness"

Optimist1 Mon 17-Mar-14 18:47:54

You need to have a very stern word with your wayward cat, OP!

Objection Mon 17-Mar-14 18:50:06

(The culprit)

Very excited to have pics on aibu

Objection Mon 17-Mar-14 18:50:29

parakeet - im afraid to say I laughed and then said (in extra serious voice) "that BITCH!"blush

crazynanna Mon 17-Mar-14 18:51:24

This is what I would teach her to do next to the neighbour

vestandknickers Mon 17-Mar-14 18:54:03


Onesleeptillwembley Mon 17-Mar-14 18:54:54

Can we play MN kitty bingo? Your cat sounds very entitled.

Pfffft...cats are never rude...they are quietly aloof.

Poppiesway Mon 17-Mar-14 18:58:07

How old is he? The neighbour?
My nan has been having issues with her neighbours as my nan likes to feed the birds.. Except she's been getting seagulls in her back garden.. And her elderly neighbour has complained.. As it's encouraging the seagulls to mess in his car... In the front garden..

Old elderly men....

SellyMevs Mon 17-Mar-14 18:59:00

My two cats are just as rude then! They purposefully sit on my windowsill in the bedroom staring into next doors garden... resulting in both my neighbour and her yappy dog taking offence!

I think everyone who has an unhinged neighbour should invest in a rude cat. wink

This is my boy...I luff him, he's still only a kitten

TheBody Mon 17-Mar-14 19:00:06

your fil sounds as unhinged as the neighbour op.

go round and warn him that you have a camera attached to your cat and any bad behaviour shown to the said cat will result in immediate and swift retribution.

sorry to add you need to don a giant cat suit to do it.

then purr and hiss loudly as you leave. keep him guessing.

Or...hide IN the dustbin dressed as a giant cat and jump out as he goes to get in is car grin

Tanith Mon 17-Mar-14 19:06:32

Ah! Reminds me of one of my cats sitting in the middle of the road, leisurely washing his nether regions while the man in the car waiting to get past raged, beeped and swore at him grin

I suppose at least he did wait for my cat to finish and didn't just flatten him as he threatened to do.

Pimpf Mon 17-Mar-14 19:09:52

What a loon!

Objection Mon 17-Mar-14 19:11:31

Neighbour is perhaps mid forties...

LOVE the cat suit idea

MooseBeTimeForSpring Mon 17-Mar-14 19:11:54

Did you mean to be so rude?

Supercalafraga Mon 17-Mar-14 19:16:35

Pure genius!

Bit hmm as to what your fil thinks you should do about it....

Whathaveiforgottentoday Mon 17-Mar-14 19:19:07

Love this. Your neighbours are bonkers

Leonas Mon 17-Mar-14 19:23:21

My neighbour told me today that she was outside at 1am shouting at my cat to get down from her roof as he was galloping about up there, keeping her awake. He had also dug up numerous plants of hers over the winter, but she finds him amusing (thankfully!). If we could stop him being a hooligan we would, but other than keeping him in there is nothing we can do! Cats are a law unto themselves

PunkrockerGirl Mon 17-Mar-14 19:25:09

Love this thread grin Cat power!

Puzzledandpissedoff Mon 17-Mar-14 19:25:53

Beautiful cats, Objection and Scarletlady ... I've always fancied a tabby/tortie type, but ours is just a boring black and white

She's developed a great technique with next doors' huge dog, though; she sits on our low front wall, just this side of their driveway gate and stares out their mutt who, knowing he can't ever quite reach her, goes insane!!!

MrsBennetsEldest Mon 17-Mar-14 19:28:02

Your cat knows something. The neighbour knows the cat knows. The incriminating evidence is in the bin.

I think the neighbour has a Tena Lady Pants fetish and the cat has witnessed this through the window.

TheBody Mon 17-Mar-14 19:32:36

these cats are ace. I love cats and can't just can't understand anyone who doesn't.

I mean how can you not

DwellsUndertheSink Mon 17-Mar-14 19:33:20

Tell your neighbour that the cat is FOREIGN and cannot understand him, so could he shout a bit slower.....

CaptainHammer Mon 17-Mar-14 19:49:11

Hahaha! Seriously?! Madness!

Loving the idea of getting a tshirt with his face on for the cat to wear, please do this and film his reaction ;)

maddening Mon 17-Mar-14 19:51:55

make a little camera and attach it to the cats collar

CaffeinatedKitten Mon 17-Mar-14 19:52:48

This cat perches on my neighbours car just to wind her Jack Russel up. He gives zero fucks about most things, but does love a good yappy dog noise >_< grin

WitchWay Mon 17-Mar-14 19:58:59

Suggest he smears lemon juice on his bin lid to make it less attractive to cats.

He sounds bonkers grin

NinjaBunny Mon 17-Mar-14 20:03:06

Your cat sounds brilliant. I wish our neighbours 5 cats (yes, 5) would do something cute like that instead of using my tiny garden as their litter tray.

Fuck, that's not me is it?



I've only had the cat flap in for 2 weeks. I've no idea what they get up to.

Although 2 of the definately haven't left the garden.

hiddenhome Mon 17-Mar-14 20:04:36

"Wanna watch the television?".................

"Well you can't"


Coffeethrowtrampbitch Mon 17-Mar-14 20:05:00

My horrible ex neighbour objected to my cat being in his garden (he used to regularly walk through my back garden as he would jump out of taxis in the next street without paying, and run through my garden to escape).

My sister said to him 'Don't worry, I'll sort out that cat!' and strode into the house purposefully before collapsing with laughter. He had no idea what to do, so took her at her word and never complained about the cat again, as she had promised to deal with its behaviour so convincingly.

So if you do get a complaint, just assure him you will have a word :-)

TheBody Mon 17-Mar-14 20:10:55

just get that cat suit op and after dark keep streaking past his window. get a tannoy and miaow loudly.

paint a giant paw on his drive with cat power written on it.

tell your fil to tell the neighbour your cat is an asylum seeker who has now got leave to stay.

AndreasVesalius Mon 17-Mar-14 20:12:22

Mean and moody look:

AnimalsAreMyFriends Mon 17-Mar-14 20:17:47

Stanley VonJudgeyPants judges anyone who walks below his lofty perch - especially those stoopid dogs, who just can't make themselves tall enough to reach him!

YANBU. People are odd about cats. Mind you, cats are the definition of odd. Mine was quite excited when I arrived home (in our VW TOURAN) just now. So she walked out to meet me......I had to stop in the road and get out to order her to be sensible as I drove VERY SLOWLY in to our drive. Then I got out of the car and trod on her as she rushed up to greet me. She then had the NERVE to behave like she had been slighted. HELLOOOOOOO Cat! I didn't run you over you dim animal! What more do you want from me? Dh has been away nearly a fortnight. When he gets back on Wednesday she is going to go nuts and refuse to let him out of her sight......

TheVictorian Mon 17-Mar-14 20:22:24

The neighbor does sound a little crackers, shouting at a cat.

Purpleknickers Mon 17-Mar-14 20:26:54

Tell your cat it give him the stink eye , that'll teach him

MoominsYonisAreScary Mon 17-Mar-14 20:28:07

Its a good job you dont have my dsis cats, they lay on the ndn brand new car!

Bloodyholly Mon 17-Mar-14 20:29:55


Vintagecakeisstillnice Mon 17-Mar-14 20:31:09

Excellent. . Love it.

BTW OP your cat looks very like mine, he does a great line in looking down his nose at you too.

Toofattorun Mon 17-Mar-14 20:36:45


Toofattorun Mon 17-Mar-14 20:37:43

You should train your cat to do this...

UncleT Mon 17-Mar-14 20:53:44

Joking aside, be careful to keep half an eye on the cat. The kind of bastard who pointlessly yells at and complains about a cat doing nothing more than staring at him is a weirdo and might harm her.

tb Mon 17-Mar-14 21:18:03

Moose is your silver tabby a Maine Coon? He or she's lovely

sunshinemmum Mon 17-Mar-14 21:23:53

This is the funniest post I have read in ages, Could you get him some shades, so he could peer even more disdainfully over the top of them, each time they disturb his nap?

RedFocus Mon 17-Mar-14 21:25:12

At least she didn't look like this!

deakymom Mon 17-Mar-14 21:25:23

cats love the bin its so warm in the sun my neighbours cat loved my compost bin grin

they do stare though!

FreudiansSlipper Mon 17-Mar-14 21:27:16

wonderful smile

I can imagine your cat looking at your neighbour in a pitiful but puzzled way at the ridiculousness of such behaviour from a potential servant

MooseBeTimeForSpring Mon 17-Mar-14 21:27:42

Yes, she was. Sadly, she passed away just before we emigrated to Canada. Her favourite game was hide and seek. She didn't quite understand the rules though..

ilovesooty Mon 17-Mar-14 21:33:35

Great thread. My cat was brought back home by one of my neighbours for bullying her cat who was sunbathing IN HIS OWN GARDEN MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS. The shame...

caramelwaffle Mon 17-Mar-14 21:59:27

Oh, happy sigh.

Bunking down on your thread for no other reason than I am a cat person.

(The imperious, snobby so and so's - love them)

steppemum Mon 17-Mar-14 22:11:05

I think you need to find a reason for this to come up in conversation and then very seriously tell him that you will have a chat with the cat and ask him not to stare, as it isn't polite.

I would love to see how he responds.

ArtexMonkey Mon 17-Mar-14 22:14:04

Cats ADORE people who don't like cats don't they? grin

Preferthedogtothekids Mon 17-Mar-14 22:15:11

No Parking outside my house.
Or else.

whippetwoman Mon 17-Mar-14 22:35:03

One morning a neighbour down the road came to tell me that when she woke up, my cat was asleep on her bed. Another neighbour told me that my cat came into her house one night via the cat flap. She then proceeded to fight with my neighbours cat all around the downstairs of her house, knocking over lamps and pictures. It just so happened that my neighbour was sleeping downstairs on the sofa because she had broken her ankle and couldn't get upstairs. She had to fight my cat off with her crutch.
I was very blush

WisneaMe Mon 17-Mar-14 22:48:45

I need a cat in my life again.
Love The stories.

QOD Mon 17-Mar-14 22:56:06

Hear me roar

SuffolkNWhat Mon 17-Mar-14 23:00:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vintagecakeisstillnice Tue 18-Mar-14 02:08:04


NobodyLivesHere Tue 18-Mar-14 02:23:45

I hate cats*. I hate their fur. I hate their tongues. I hate their revolting food. I hate their noise. I hate their need to rip my bin bags to shreds nanoseconds after I put them out. I hate their shitting on my lawn. I hate them.

But even I, cat hater extraordinaire, can cope with being looked at.

*i also hate dogs/rabbits/anything with hair.

Menolly Tue 18-Mar-14 02:37:25

Sorry but yabu, cats are fluffy little balls of evil and deliberately act up around anyone likely to see through their cute little kitten act so everyone will think they are crazy and not listen when they eventually find proof of the cat plot for world domination... this is why my neighbours cat is all cuteness and light in front of everyone else but attacks my ankles every time I walk past it on my own.

HollyWhiteAlwaysWearsAHat Tue 18-Mar-14 02:45:31

Some people just really, really, really HATE cats. confused

I don't get it myself, but their loathing seems to have no bounds.

Moose I have 3 Maine Coons, but your silver girl looks incredibly similar to our one who died last year (courtesy of MIL, visiting dogs, escaping house cat and a fox angry). She used to play fetch.

We have a cream tabby, ginger tabby (boys) and a blue and white girl but I still pine for a big silver even now.

innisglas Tue 18-Mar-14 02:59:26

I live in an apartment building in Mexico City where we have open walkways leading our doors with a small wall on the other side. One of my neighbours put a notice up to tell dogs and cats not to shit in front of her door, at their height!

ipswichwitch Tue 18-Mar-14 03:14:26

How else will they read it innis? grin
I hope she wrote it in dog and cat

Cuxibamba Tue 18-Mar-14 03:28:19

This thread is making me really, really want a cat now. Our last one died four months back, she was old and lovely. I'm missing that contemptuous, superior look she'd give me, and how she would always have to sit on the laptop whenever I was typing sometían or if I was reading a book or whatever she'd have to interrupt. Of course, any other time, she was very aloof and wouldn't let us inferior humans contaminate her fur...

I really need to look at getting another one, I think!

kali110 Tue 18-Mar-14 07:26:50

Bet your cat is giving him stink eye.

Tell him he's lucky.two of mine take a shit in my neighbours garden!I'm just lucky its my uncle, though do understand why he's not a massive fan of cats.

LordPalmerston Tue 18-Mar-14 07:30:20

LOVE all the cat pics
partic judge cat

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 07:37:23

fantastic thread.

my baby woke last night and have one hear wrenching miaowe and vomited what looked like half a mouse.

dh and I jumped out of bed, obviously she has a basket with special jumpers in our room, and he cuddled her while I cleared up the mess. daddy told her she was a brave girl and we tucked her into our bed.

I know.

JennyBendy Tue 18-Mar-14 07:42:16

Have you tried CM? Tough love!
(Controlled miaowing)

topknob Tue 18-Mar-14 07:50:51

Very funny thread smile Milly the miserable fat cat she is decided last year to break into our neighbours house to eat their cats food and fight her up stairs in their bedroom...I am not quite sure what my neighbour wanted me to do about it?

Lucy the lovely friendly cat also takes herself into another neighbours house, that neighbour hasn't said anything to me the neighbour mentioned above has though.

MistressDeeCee Tue 18-Mar-14 08:23:32

OP your neighbour should be afraid, very afraid...for one day...

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 08:26:32

cm yes but not strong enough. now cc with the kids was a breeze. grin

struggling100 Tue 18-Mar-14 09:10:17

This thread made me laugh!

But at risk of being a killjoy, please be careful.

Four years ago, I was living in a godforsaken northern village full of people who could barely speak, read, or write. A new couple moved into the house next door and were the neighbours from hell in all kinds of ways. One feature was them coming round my house drunk and complaining about my cats sitting at the end of their garden because they had 'glowing eyes like the bogeyman'. They also complained about it going to the loo in their garden, which would have been understandable if they hadn't decided to use at least half of their garden as a rubbish tip (no exaggeration - they built a fence and then just slung all of their rubbish in there).

One of my cats was indoors only, and was fine.

Another died very suddenly, I suspect of poisoning because of the symptoms. I think they fed him antifreeze.

The other was shot twice in the head with an airgun, wrapped in a bin bag, and slung over a wall on nearby farmland. By a miracle, he survived. Despite the fact that the neighbour had been round, drunk, and had threatened to shoot this cat in the head with an air rifle - a conversation that I had recorded on my phone - the police were unable to find the culprit. Their investigation technique consisted of going next door and saying 'Her cat died, did you do it?' then coming round my house and complaining that the police station was 'haunted' (I kid you not).

I now live in a big city and my cats are happy and safe. My neighbours can read and write and are civilized and sociable.

LEMmingaround Tue 18-Mar-14 09:12:25

Thank you. Just thank you grin

normalishdude Tue 18-Mar-14 09:22:17

I think that people should respect their neighbours wishes if they don't want a cat on their property.

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 09:26:38

what do you suggest then. giving the cat a map of where they are allowed to go?

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 09:28:32

struggling yes you posted that before and remember how horrific it sounded. horrible vile ignorant psychopaths.

normalishdude Tue 18-Mar-14 09:30:13

keep the cat indoors? Many years ago, we had a cat poisoned in New Zealand because a neighbour didn't want it in their garden.

struggling100 Tue 18-Mar-14 09:36:08

Sorry for the repetition! I am still really traumatized by it, and whenever one of these stories comes up, I want to say to the person - please, please be careful because people can be more unbelievably vile than you could possibly imagine.

Just because you don't like an animal does not give you the right to be cruel to it.

I think the saddest thing about those neighbours was that their attitude towards parenting was no better. Despite their total lack of formal education (I'm not kidding about the difficulties with reading and writing) they were allowed to 'home school' their children. The two girls consequently got no education whatsoever. I used to hear them screaming at their 11 year old to do the housework while they sat around smoking and getting drunk.

HazleNutt Tue 18-Mar-14 09:49:27

I'm quite worried about animal-hating nutcases as well, so the first thing we did when we moved was nicely approaching the neighbours, explaining that we have 3 cats and asking that they let us know if the cats disturb them in any way or shit in the garden, so we can deal with it. (even though I honestly have no idea how we would deal with a staring cat). Luckily our neighbours are fine.

In your shoes I would also apologise to neighbour and tell him that you will have stern words with your cat about manners and explain that it's rude to stare. grin

sheriffofnottingham Tue 18-Mar-14 09:52:09

I seem to be in the minority here but I find it utterly ridiculous that cat owners take absolutely no responsibility for their pets. Any other animal sitting on your neighbours property and you would be held accountable but for cats it seems a different matter.

Cats are a pest. They are a non-native species that have been introduced in vast numbers and are endangering native bird species and other small wildlife. I can't leave my patio doors open because they wander into my home and try to kill my rabbit and they crap everywhere.

It's out of sight out of mind for cat owners. There's no other pet you could have where its acceptable to be so completely irresponsible as to let it do what ever it wants.

You are being very unreasonable. It's your pet, it's your responsibility. Your cat is a pest, sort it out!

To make it clear I would never do any harm to one, all they get is a gentle shooing as encouragement to leave my property.

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 09:53:26

struggling no of course post. not suprised you haven't got over this, you touched evil and that's horrific.

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 09:55:21

sherrif don't be ridiculous. most animals would kill a rabbit if it was roaming free. a dog, cat, badger, fox.

much rather have cats next door than a massive Rottweiler.

LiberalLibertine Tue 18-Mar-14 09:58:53

How do you 'sort out' a staring cat ffs?!

OnlyLovers Tue 18-Mar-14 10:05:22

sheriff, how exactly is the cat being a 'pest' from how the OP describes its behaviour?

OP, your neighbour is a loon and your cat kicks arse (and is beautiful). But you knew that. grin

Owllady Tue 18-Mar-14 10:05:28

Maybe he is worried that the bin is council property and your cat isn't paying council tax as cats are exempt. Never mind the cat doesn't even work.

sheriffofnottingham Tue 18-Mar-14 10:34:33

My rabbit isn't roaming free, it is on my property, in my house. Cats come in to my house if I leave my doors open on a nice day (there is a fence at the back, it is not open). My next door neighbour and I share a patio and they have an Alsatian, they are responsible and mind where it goes. The dog is no problem at all, because my neighbour and I are both aware that we have a dog sharing a space with a rabbit and we both need to be mindful of our respective responsibilities in respect of this, but cat owners take no such care.

thebody the other animals you describe are wild and naturally wary of humans and come out at night when Lily is tucked up inside, in her hutch with our doors locked and it is my responsibility alone to protect the rabbit from coming into contact with those which is why I don't let her 'roam free'. With cats, someone else owns the cat and obviously I take care to not let my rabbit come into contact with them but the cat is someone else's responsibility it is their pet and they just don't give a shit. I should be able to put the rabbit out in a run on my lawn on a sunny day and not go away for 10 mins to come back and find her being swiped at and tormented by someone else's pet. It is her home.

onlylovers OPs cat is on someone else's property and is causing them a nuisance, whether objectively it is a nuisance is beside the point, as a pet owner you have to take responsibility for it.

I accept I will forever be fighting a losing battle with cat owners. You can't reason with people whose standard response is, 'well I can't control what it does, tough shit'

Marylou62 Tue 18-Mar-14 10:41:14

God...I often found next doors manky flea ridden moggie on my bed!! I had to change the bed and only make the catflap an outie... I did actually deflea the poor thing once. My poor (massive ginger tom) was getting bullied by it. These neighbours need to chill...Love the piccies!

sherriff according to the RSBP unless you happen to live next to heathland providing habitat for rare birds cats are unlikely to have anything much to do with bird numbers. They seem to think they take sickly birds that would have died anyway

Latara Tue 18-Mar-14 10:59:45

sherriff my cat can't catch birds. But she does hide for hours in my garden trying! She doesn't go in other gardens because my neighbours all have scary dogs or other cats. Here she is lying in wait for an unsuspecting birdie:

OnlyLovers Tue 18-Mar-14 11:10:28

sheriff, what if a neighbour complains that someone's dog, sitting say in the window, is 'looking' at them? How would the owner take responsibility for that? We're talking here about someone objecting not to the cat's presence on his property per se, but to his perception of the way the cat is looking at him. That's so obviously silly that there is no sensible way to take responsibility for it as far as I can tell.

sheriffofnottingham Tue 18-Mar-14 11:10:40

latara a shining example to all other cats, her little white patch is also very cute! grin

LouiseSmith Tue 18-Mar-14 11:12:35

This thread has cheered me up no end!!!

Perhaps he thinks the cat is stalking him, going through his rubbish to find out his plot.

Perhaps it may be worth asking what milk he has. I remember and advert were the cats were trying to get it. Is she an kitty spy?

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob Tue 18-Mar-14 11:17:05

Loving this thread. grin

sheriffofnottingham Tue 18-Mar-14 11:22:42

onlylover I agree, objectively 'I don't like the way your cat is looking at me' is very silly and if it's sat on your property at the time then the neighbour is being unreasonable but it's sat on his bin so he is entitled to object to it on whatever grounds he likes however daft.

OP maybe get a dustbin on your side of the hedge over looking your neighbours drive, put cat food on it for a couple of days so the cat sits on your bin, then he still stares at the neighbour but he's on your side of the fence - everyone's a winner! Also the application of cat food smeared to a bin might encourage other cats to your bin so he has a whole chorus line of cats staring at him in the morning that he can do bugger all about?

frogslegs35 Tue 18-Mar-14 11:32:06

Yanbu, your neighbour is.

Give the cat a miniture pair of binoculars around its neck to freak the neighbour out further smile

OnlyLovers Tue 18-Mar-14 11:58:28

sheriff, I just don't agree. In this example I think his daftness is more the issue than the cat's location, IYSWIM.

I like the binoculars suggestion smile

enriquetheringbearinglizard Tue 18-Mar-14 12:06:25

Oh dear OP.
I do have a certain degree of sympathy with people who don't want other people's animals in their garden, but 'creating hell' made me laugh out loud, literally.

I'd send a message back that your cat is in no way judgemental, she is simply a supreme mistress of Zen and is simply enignmatic grin

He's either worrying about her expressions quite unnecessarily OR he harbours a very guilty secret hmm ... now there's a thought.

Objection Tue 18-Mar-14 12:10:47

I think it would be incredibly cruel to keep my cat indoors all day.
I have no problem with indoor cats if that is what the cat prefers but I'll be damned before I lock my very energetic, curious cat indoors just because a bunch of loons have a problem with animals other than humans having freedom.

coralanne Tue 18-Mar-14 12:19:26

This is a pretty funny thread. Unfortunately my neighbour or my DS wouldn't think so.

The cat from 3 doors down sits on the bonnet of DS's brand new car which now has scratches all over it.

The same cat wees and poos on next door neighbour's front step.

I can't fully understand why cats can't do all these things in their own homes.

yegodsandlittlefishes Tue 18-Mar-14 12:26:31

How can anyone get into a lather about a cat looking at them? Oh, your neighbour's life must be pure and total heavenly utopia. If it wasn't for you cat going and sitting on his bin and giving him the look. Pure hell, poor man.

sheriffofnottingham Tue 18-Mar-14 12:49:14

I'll be damned before I lock my very energetic, curious cat indoors just because a bunch of loons have a problem with animals other than humans having freedom

so if I moved next door to you and got myself a peregrine falcon that swooped down and ate your cat you'd be fine with that? I mean, it's just an animal having it's freedom right?

You chose to get the cat, 'bollocks to it, it's a cat and it's not my problem, it'll do what it pleases' not very considerate.

Yes the staring thing is funny, but the principle isn't.

cathpip Tue 18-Mar-14 12:58:08

My parents have two terriers and every morning without fail the neighbours cat comes and sits on top of the fence waiting for my parents terriers to be let out. The cat just sits there with a look that says haha you can't reach me and your stupid, as my parents terriers go bonkers, luckily my parents find it funny, as they know that the cat is doing this on purpose!

Latara Tue 18-Mar-14 13:15:01

cathpip my cat stares under the fence at my neighbour's dog and hisses every time it comes near the fence which makes the dog growl. The neighbour can't hear the hissing and thinks the dog is just being naughty so tells it off every time it growls, poor dog!

normalishdude Tue 18-Mar-14 14:31:08

I'm with the sheriff- take responsibility for the pet.

LessMissAbs Tue 18-Mar-14 15:15:23

sheriffofnottingham its nice that you have a rabbit, but you don't seem to have much understanding of animals, and seem to be trying to apply human rules of territory to animals who don't speak English and cannot read or write.

Its cruel to take away animals' freedom. Animals do not exist for the benefit of humans, but they can co-exist with and provide company to humans. Its so easy to fall into the trap of keeping animals in a way that's most convenient to you, as a human, without considering animal welfare. I would never want to be responsible for a cat being cooped up.

I must admit I'm struggling to envisage a rabbit run which allows a cat in but not a rabbit out. And what about danger from owls or hawks, who have been known to prey on pet rabbits? Surely if you choose to leave your own door open, you risk a fox coming in? Or have you and your neighbours successfully sterilised the neighbourhood of all species other than a select few?

KarinMurphy Tue 18-Mar-14 15:25:42

My husband's mad Grandfather hated cats and the way they stared at him. One from down the road used to try to get into the garage when he was parking his car. To combat this he painted 'No Cats' on his garage door! Maybe you could try this tactic and make a sign? It didn't work for him but your cat might be cleverer and have learned to read. grin

pigsDOfly Tue 18-Mar-14 15:28:09

All this cat behaviour reminds me of the time my daughter's partner brought his mild mannered rottie to our house and we shut him in the dining room as the rest of the house was open plan and I didn't want him wandering upstairs.

The rottie was sitting there watching us through the glass door quite happily when my beautiful ginger cat came downstairs and proceeded to march up and down in front of the glass door. Poor dog stood it for quite some time until unable to take it any long launched himself at the door, shaking the whole house, at which point cat, completely unfazed, thought it appropriate to sit himself down in front of the door and wash his paws. In the end we had to remove cat from dog's sight before he broke through the door and daughter's partner had to go into the dining room and calm the poor dog down.

Cats - pure evil.

sunshinemmum Tue 18-Mar-14 15:37:36

I don't think I really get the 'take responsibility for a cat simply 'being' in a certain place.' I wonder who takes responsibility for the red kite, landing on our climbing frame, visiting hedgehogs, sparrows, starlings, rooks and I don't want to know what scrabbling around on my roof.

I understand the whole cat poo thing, but a visiting animal is a visiting animal, even if you dislike a certain species. Rabbits roaming about here, would be eaten by foxes.

AndreasVesalius Tue 18-Mar-14 15:38:07

Not strictly relevant, but rabbits aren't a native species either sherrif. They were introduced by the Normans.

TheDoctorSandshoesAndGrandad Tue 18-Mar-14 16:02:58

Get the cat a pair of dark sunglasses so that the neighbour can't tell if your cat os staring or not?

sheriffofnottingham Tue 18-Mar-14 16:12:36

oh dear. Once again, my rabbit is not roaming free. She lives in my house, cats wander into my house if the patio doors are open (there is a baby gate so the rabbit does not get out. When I am outside I put her in a run, I would love to leave her there as she is perfectly safe and contained but cats gather outside the run and taunt her which frightens her (rabbits can die of fright). I am not anti cats, that's what cats do, I understand that.

My point is simply that if you have a pet you have a responsibility for that pet but with cats this seems not to be the case. It seems to be an acceptable attitude to get a pet that by your own admission you have no control over and not give a second thought to what it does.

Objection Tue 18-Mar-14 16:14:52

peregrine falcon that swooped down and ate your cat you'd be fine with that?

If peregrine falcons were a common pet in my area than I'd take necessary precautions to protect my pets; of course I would.

Would I expect the owner of the falcon to keep their bird in a cage? No. Because I think keeping birds cooped up is even more cruel than keeping cats cooped up!

LessMissAbs makes some good points further up thread.

I wouldn't keep doors open anyway in case bees got in from the local beekeeper anyway - maybe I should write a letter of complaint to him to ask him to control his bees?

normalishdude Tue 18-Mar-14 16:15:41

Red kites are wild? As are all the other species. Cats are domestic pets....?

Objection Tue 18-Mar-14 16:15:56

over use of "anyway" sorry!

Objection Tue 18-Mar-14 16:16:48

How do you propose you control a cat outside the home?
Are you really trying to say that you don't approve of cats as pets at all, normalishdude?

Owllady Tue 18-Mar-14 16:20:31

I am sure the rude cat could stare out the peregrine falcon to put it off

wobblyweebles Tue 18-Mar-14 16:21:44

While we're banning animals from our properties, I would like someone to tell the deer to stop eating my hostas.

I've tried setting the cats on them but to no avail.

HazleNutt Tue 18-Mar-14 16:21:44

good point objection, we also have neighbour's bees visiting every now and then. I'm sure they stare as well, although it's hard to say..

LessMissAbs Tue 18-Mar-14 16:21:45

That's because it would go against the animal's nature to "control" a cat too much Sheriff. I'm of the opinion that animals weren't put on this earth for my convenience, and as a species, we as humans already have the planet pretty much arranged to suit ourselves, so I'm glad for what little diversity we have left.

"Controlling a cat" would mean taking away its freedom to roam, which is one of its inherent natural characteristics. I think that's cruel. I'm divided on whether keeping rabbits as pets is cruel. I think its cruel to keep big dogs as pets in small houses and barely ever walk them. I think theres a lot of cruelty that goes on but I wouldn't say that not controlling cats is necessarily so. I like cats as pets as they are on the few animals that can be kept while still retaining a reasonably natural lifestyle, and as such, I think they are very suitable as pets.

Human history tends to agree. That's why we have domestic cats now.

The fact is that your rabbit's natural instinct (if she has any left) would be to run away from your home into the "wild" where she would quite possibly be killed by a predator. She wouldn't choose to roam free and return for meals out of choice. You are therefore keeping what is in effect a non-domesticated animal in an unnatural environment out of amusement for yourself, yet criticising others for keeping different species in a more natural way.

*Qualified to add that not all rabbits which escape are killed by predators - there is a noticeable strain of black house rabbits living wild near here, who seem pretty successfully living outwith the confines of a house and garden.

Objection Tue 18-Mar-14 16:30:06

LessMissAbs - that's an excellent point. At what point do you define keeping pets as being cruel?
I dislike the idea of pets being kept inside the house at all times (eg. cats or rabbits) as I think the vast majority would have a better standard of living if they could roam outside, with fresh air and plants etc.
(Though I'm not protesting the idea of house cats entirely, as I know many are more than happy to remain indoors).
Our dog, for what its worth, gets at least two, normally three, long (at least an hour) walks everyday and then day trips at the weekend.
For me, this is the bare minimum we should be giving him. I actually feel guilty sometimes that we can't be with him more often and take him out more - but his life is a lot better with us than with his previous owners.

sheriffofnottingham Tue 18-Mar-14 16:36:37

LessMissAbs you make some very good points. There's not much there I can disagree with out of principle.

The only point I would add is that my decision to keep a rabbit (rightly or wrongly) does not negatively impact the people around me. I accept that a cat will come into my garden as cats roam and controlling them can't be done. What I do criticise is the selfishness of people who keep one in the first place, who consider that their cats right to roam is more important than other people's enjoyment of their own property.

TulipOHare Tue 18-Mar-14 16:42:21

I'd be worried the NDN would hurt the cat. Don't know what I'd do, but would keep a very close eye out sad

Sounds like he has a screw loose.

Objection Tue 18-Mar-14 16:54:21

Weirdly enough, he actually has a history of keeping falcons confused which this thread has just reminded me of

I'm a bit suspicious of sheriff now [lighthearted] think maybe she is the neighbour and is threatening me with falcons.

I will send the cat over to stare through the window and investigate!

[joking sheriff, I can actually see where you are coming from but unfortunately cats going where they don't belong is just one of those things)

LessMissAbs Tue 18-Mar-14 17:04:56

LessMissAbs - that's an excellent point. At what point do you define keeping pets as being cruel?

I would presume to define something as big as that! For me though I would be looking for a pet which showed signs of anxiety in its body language and stereotypies or escape anxiety.

I have horses...for instance, if I had a horse which crib bites, I would make sure it had plenty of turnout. In fact, I would do this for any horse. I would drive commute further and pay more to ensure that horse had good turnout of a varied and natural type, with company of at least one other horse. I wouldn't keep it in a stable in my garden because it was easier for me. But animals will do a lot of stuff a human wants them to, and it can be hard to spot the subtle signs of body language that show unhappiness.

I think there are too many pets. Dogs in particular. I think this situation causes too many animals to be bred as pets, and once they are alive, of course you have a responsibility as a higher species to ensure they enjoy that life. I do think cats make good pets though as they can live a very natural life while still being kept as pets. Working dogs or dogs kept properly and active - ditto. Dogs and cats kept indoors all their lives or turned into a garden for a few minutes each day - no, that's cruel, because its not enough exercise or socialisation for any animal and too far removed from their natural inclination to investigate their territory.

sheriffofnottingham Tue 18-Mar-14 17:19:12

grin objection I secretly think your cat sounds like a bit of a dude.

yelwah Tue 18-Mar-14 17:38:01

I should be careful Objection, your neighbour might be mad enough to escalate to the dreaded Solicitor's Letter. One of my cats got one once, addressed to her by name and everything. I had to read it to her of course, but, being a cat, she carried on beating up both of the neighbour's Jack Russell terriers.

AurorasDownTheRabbitHole Tue 18-Mar-14 17:40:55

I would say YABU but only because I am terrified of cats. I literally cry when they jump out from under cars and have to go inside when they decide to stroll through my garden. sad

Objection Tue 18-Mar-14 17:48:49

LessMissAbs - I agree. I think pets are great but their own needs should always be put first.

My rabbit had no problem seeing off our usually fierce cat. He used to hop up to him & have a sniff - cat would scarper.

AndreasVesalius Tue 18-Mar-14 19:32:06

We used to have a New Zealand White that would run at the cat with his head down and flip him over.

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 19:44:30

Sheriff I totality get you adore your rabbit and not suprised as they are adorable. however animals are animals.

we lost 2 cats to cars, outside our house both killed. absolutely heartbreaking but I can't ban cars. it's an occupational hazard of having an animal that roams.

I totally see your point about keeping your rabbit safe in your house but if your patio doors are open anything can really get in can't it.

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 19:45:31

yelwah you are joking right?

Catsmamma Tue 18-Mar-14 19:48:32

he should be grateful not to be my neighbour. I have three cats...Faerie is more or less normal, dribble and control freakery aside. Oscar is very old and rarely leaves the house

But Reuben likes to go visiting.....he especially likes to visit next door but one, a lady who lives on her own...she jaunts about a lot and would like a pet but is too busy. He helps her garden, sit on her bench, he likes to sit on her magazine so she has to talk to him. She installed a summer house and Reuben insisted on being shown around (it's not massive but he apparently patrolled all round the inside and outside before settling in the best chair.

Now to get to see Phyllis he has to jump over a gate, into a communal driveway. My next door neighbour parks right next to the gate so every single time he jumps he thuds down on their car. shock Mrs nextdoorbut one laughs, but I am not so sure that nextdoorcarowners are so amused grin

yelwah Tue 18-Mar-14 19:59:42

TheBody, honest truth, I've lost the letter otherwise I'd post a photo. The solicitor was weeing himself when I phoned back on the cat's behalf.

bellasuewow Tue 18-Mar-14 21:58:58

Get two more cats they can then all intimidate your neighbour into submission with their telepathic mind rays

enriquetheringbearinglizard Wed 19-Mar-14 12:59:11

I think the thread's strayed from the point. I agree cats can be very annoying with their wandering, especially for non cat lovers. Quite what can be done about it though, other than citrus peel, lion poo or ultra sound scarers none of which work I don't know.

But the neighbour isn't complaining about damage or mess, just 'attitude' which is why it strikes me as quite amusing smile

Kinnane Wed 19-Mar-14 13:32:16

Everyone loves cats but a bit annoying when they poo in your garden everyday and even worse when both neighbours have two cats each.

therewearethen Wed 19-Mar-14 13:45:11

What do you mean sofas are only for humans!?
No TV until you feed me!

dunsborough Wed 19-Mar-14 13:54:03

Yeah the cat hating dementors have sucked all the fun out of the thread.

Please can we go back to posting arrogant cat stories PLEEEASE?

Growing up I lived in a fishing village, and our Burmese would often bring home a fish - stolen from our friend's and neighbour's buckets. She wasn't even a particularly good thief as she would do it right under their noses and lead them straight to our house.
I think she felt entitled to help herself, being beautiful and all.
My poor mum responding to the thumps on the door, would ask "Er would you like your fish back then?"

dunsborough Wed 19-Mar-14 13:55:33

OP what are you going to do about your starey cat and quite odd neighbour?

thegreylady Wed 19-Mar-14 14:13:34

I had a cat who was desperate tocatch a bird. Everyday he spent long hours waiting for a bird to land near him. Sometimes he would climb a tree and drape himself over a branch. Every so often an unsuspecting bird would appear and off went Bertie-belly low, tip of tail twitching ready for the bum wiggle and pounce. The trouble was that every single time, at the crucial moment Bertie let out the loudest Miaaaooowwww!!! imaginable and off went the bird.

LisaMed Wed 19-Mar-14 14:17:31

I really miss having a cat. Actually I really miss having a source of cat stories as evil cat was a bit of a challenge, really.

Next door had a huge black tom who was a lovely gentleman, but he would use father's flower bed as a lavatory. Father made some really, really bloodcurdling threats - while giving Oscar cuddles. Father is a bigger softie than I am.

The ginger bastard that kept beating up all the local cats was a different matter. I remember when evil cat was elderly and frail and had gone out for some sun and my lovely next door neighbour had to rescue her. If she had been a few years younger that ginger bastard would have had a nasty shock. Evil cat once chased off a doberman.

My sister in law's last cat was utterly evil and left more than one person with permanent scars. Being looked at is the least of your neighbour's worries. To be honest, I think your next door neighbour needs to worry more about his own ishoos.

jannelly56 Wed 19-Mar-14 15:09:27

He probably does this behind neighbours back!

Objection Wed 19-Mar-14 16:57:03

Going to ignore neighbour. If he brings it up again I'll promise to have stern words.

And then she will stare at me grin

sisterofmercy Wed 19-Mar-14 17:49:42

We used to have a rabbit (when I was a kid) who would break out and chase cats. He was rather large though.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 19-Mar-14 20:15:57

I also had a rabbit that saw off the local cat, my brother witnessed it after being woken by the cat screeching! grin

ComposHat Thu 20-Mar-14 08:30:33

Why not get cat masks for you, your husband, in-laws and the dog? Stand outside his house at the time he usually comes out and stare at him quizzically.

sunshinemmum Fri 21-Mar-14 08:24:28

grin and a phantom of the opera mask for the cat!

ComposHat Fri 21-Mar-14 08:34:50

Ha brilliant sunshine I now want a phantom of the opeea outfit for my furry darling.

sunshinemmum Fri 21-Mar-14 08:42:45

smile it could catch on.

bella411 Fri 21-Mar-14 08:52:36

Although I know you can't control the whereabouts of cats. If I had a cat sitting on my dustbin and I had to walk by it to get to my car .... I'd be stuck in my house until the cat decided to move and I'd have to make a mad dash to the car as I am petrified of cats!

Maybe your neighbour is really tryin to say this rather than the cat is rude.

LikesAChallenge Fri 21-Mar-14 09:35:41

I loved the two photos on Page 1. How appropriate for the thread!

normalishdude Fri 21-Mar-14 09:48:25

I chase the cats from our garden. Most of the cats seem to enjoy it. I do too.

wigglylines Fri 21-Mar-14 09:54:41

Love the photo of your cat. But you do know that look means she's looking right into your soul, right? wink

Neighbour doesn't like himself, your cat is holding upmarket mirror to him, that's the problem IMO!

Seriously, I'd worry a little for the safety of my cat if the neighbour was that unhinged.

oldgrandmama Fri 21-Mar-14 09:59:43

My cat does a good stare

LisaMed Fri 21-Mar-14 10:57:03

Has anyone seen Why My Cat is Sad

That is the saddest looking cat ever and your neighbour would have a dicky fit.

sunshinemmum Fri 21-Mar-14 11:30:58

Our cat has a one eye closed due to an infection at the moment. He gave a mean old look and a squawk to a visitor he doesn't like yesterday. I so wished I had the camera handy, he was mean!

NinjaLeprechaun Fri 21-Mar-14 12:25:48

I used to have a friend who lived with (owned is never the right word, with cats) a black cat. They had an unhinged neighbour, who believed that cat was a witch in disguise. Friend actually was witch, of the Wiccan variety, which is startlingly irrelevant to this story. Cat used to sit in the open doorway, and friend would sometimes hear the neighbour 'warning' the cat that it wasn't fooling anybody.

One day the friend had visitors who brought their small black dog... dog was sitting in open doorway, when suddenly unhinged neighbour could be heard angrily demanding that "You change back into a cat right now..."

Oh dear... Don't know whether to grin or sad at some people.

OnlyLovers Fri 21-Mar-14 16:54:15

You change back into a cat right now..

grin grin grin grin

ChasingDogs Fri 21-Mar-14 18:34:38

NinjaLeprechaun that is fecking epic grin Love the OP of this thread and resulting cat pics!

One of my neighbours (I actually am not sure which one) has an arrogant cat of legendary proportions. Not only does the little shit totally disregard all property laws in order to shit in my veg patch, it also wanders into my house. All the other cats around here have learnt to avoid the house with the overly friendly GSD, but this guy just sits his arse on the sofa and growls while the dog gets more and more worked up. It inevitably ends with the dog getting confused and spinning in circles whilst the cat just stares and judges us both!

Hate that bloody cat. Hate it, yet really, really admire it at the same time.

ChasingDogs Fri 21-Mar-14 18:37:44

Oooh, just remembered, when I was little I had a tiny cat that would sit outside my bedroom window, just above the entrance to our pub, and swipe madly at the heads of people who dared to enter.

Somebody complained once, much to the hilarity of the regulars. Didn't these fools realise that was her spot and you were expected to duck as you entered? Pfft! grin

SilenceOfTheSAHMs Fri 21-Mar-14 18:51:28

My 13 year old cat Uncle Popperchops.

He is worshipped smile

SilenceOfTheSAHMs Fri 21-Mar-14 18:52:38

Look at the face on this cat....

LiberalLibertine Fri 21-Mar-14 19:15:42

grin silence that cat is king of all he surveys

jeanmiguelfangio Fri 21-Mar-14 19:26:14

I am so going to have to complain about neighbours beautiful ginger. Yesterday I came downstairs with dd 13months to find him staring in my back door. That wasnt the problem. Dd is enthralled, cat jumps over fence because baby is so excited she is banging on the glass. Thats not the problem either. The issue is he hasn't come back --dont blame him--and I have spent all day with her pointing at my back door saying at at at. Do you think he knew this was going to happen, and is actually laughing around the corner watching me go mad!!!

yegodsandlittlefishes Fri 21-Mar-14 19:42:12

'My box'

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Fri 21-Mar-14 20:16:24

Our nnn had a tiny little cat who was an outdoor girl. They moved and two years later turned up in my kitchen. My two big ginger boys cowering in the corner. She adopted us, but on the way across town, including two main roads, she adopted another family, who posted an ad when she went travelling.She ruled the roost for three years and bullied the other two mercilessly.

OnlyLovers Sat 22-Mar-14 17:52:41

silence, that cat looks like Jeremy Paxman.

Lol this thread is hilarious! What does he expect you to do about it? Have a quiet chat with the cat?

ThistledownAndCobweb Sat 22-Mar-14 18:31:06

My cat went through a phase of entering my neighbour's house through his cat flap and waking him in the early hours of the morning by getting on the bed and washing his (neighbours not cats) face.

Luckily for use he is a cat lover and found it hilarious.

KatyMac Sat 22-Mar-14 18:51:22

My very small (3.2kg) oriental cat had delusions of grandeur

While staying in a holiday cottage she sat at the window watching the outside, I let her out & she stalked down the garden path and crouched at the end ready to pounce on the deer eating the leaves of trees in the field opposite.

I know she was related to the lions hunting wildebeest on the Serengeti......but really a deer!!

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