To of changed my babys nappy on the train

(154 Posts)
wouldntofgussed Sat 15-Mar-14 16:10:50

Was only ten minutes into an hour and a half journey when my little one needed changing no toilets on the train either. I took her up to the end of the carriage where I change her nappy a lady on the train told me I was disgusting

If no toilets you had no choice.

If it was poo I'd have been tempted to wait, particularly if there's nowhere to dispose of it.

Didn't sound like you had much choice. sad

freezingmytitsoff Sat 15-Mar-14 16:12:44

No not at all, I wouldn't think twice about doing it. What are u meant to do, leave your baby screaming and uncomfortable in a dirty nappy? Sorry though that must of been horrible.

WorraLiberty Sat 15-Mar-14 16:13:22

How have I got to the ripe old age of (nearly) 45 without these comments being made to me...especially after having 3 kids?

No you weren't unreasonable as long as you used a changing mat and didn't get crap all over the seats.

Why would there be no loos on a train where the journey is 1 1/2 hours? is that common? sad

freezingmytitsoff Sat 15-Mar-14 16:14:29

Fairycake, you would leave a baby sat in a dirty nappies for over an hour?? There skin would be sore and they would be screaming surely??

Shakirasma Sat 15-Mar-14 16:15:20

YANBU as there were no toilets, which of course should be used when available.
A pooey nappy can cause soreness within minutes. What did the woman suggest you should do?

PrincessOfChina Sat 15-Mar-14 16:16:03

We have a local train that would take 1.5 hours end to end. There are toilets usually but they don't have changing facilities.

Of course you had to change her, and as long as you didn't leave poo smeared around you were being totally reasonable!

mrssmith79 Sat 15-Mar-14 16:16:05

I'd have wiped it right across her horrible face if she spoke to me like that. You did the right thing, found an appropriate spot and did what was needed rather than letting your lo sit in discomfort. As long as the contents were'contained' that is!

WorraLiberty Sat 15-Mar-14 16:16:23

The loos are tiny on the trains here

I don't think I could change a baby's nappy in them.

Where are you supposed to lie the baby down?

mumblechum1 Sat 15-Mar-14 16:16:52

I travel on a lot of trains and have never been on one with no loo. blush

HungryHorace Sat 15-Mar-14 16:17:01

Merseyrail don't have loos and it's 70 minutes from start to finish on the line I live on.

Can be tricky when pregnant! :-/

Icimoi Sat 15-Mar-14 16:17:23

YABU to put "To of changed" in the title. You mean "To have changed".

5madthings Sat 15-Mar-14 16:17:32

Yanbu I have done this many times.

Even if there are toilets they are generally tiny and not suitable.

I tend to go to the bit inbetween the carriages and lay them on Mat or muslin cloth and do it there.

WorraLiberty Sat 15-Mar-14 16:18:24

<< Slow claps Icimoi >>

StarGazeyPond Sat 15-Mar-14 16:18:30

YABU to of anything!

HadABadDay2014 Sat 15-Mar-14 16:18:34

I wouldn't leave a baby wet a dirty nappy for over an hour, I would have changed him/her on the train.

Laurie would you like to sit in your own poo for over an hour.

Paintyfingers Sat 15-Mar-14 16:18:40

Loads of commuter belt trains don't have loos. I don't think you did anything wrong. Most people would prefer a discrete nappy change to an hour of screaming upset baby.

Lovely helpful post Icimoi. hmm

shouldnthavesaid Sat 15-Mar-14 16:19:14

My mum did this in first class on a table. A messy one. I very vaguely remember it. We were on a very busy train with no toilet access at all.

NoodleOodle Sat 15-Mar-14 16:20:15

You had no other reasonable option IMO.

SliceOfLime Sat 15-Mar-14 16:20:20

YANBU. As othe have said if the was nowhere else, what could you do? And even a pooey nappy is wrapped up and tidied away quickly.

This happened to my DH on a plane, he changed DD's nappy (just a wet one!) on an empty row of seats at the back and a bloke in his 60s gave him a proper telling off, DH was mortified. BUT then when we were in the queue for passports, the bloke came over with his wife and the wife made him apologise grin we laughed about it in the end, I think some people just forget how it is with babies...!

HermioneWeasley Sat 15-Mar-14 16:20:41

I wouldn't have done it in the carriage - as 5mad said, if no other choice I would have put a mat down in the area between carriages. It would be seriously disgusting for other people to be in the carriage while you're changing a dirty nappy. Yeuck.

CoffeeTea103 Sat 15-Mar-14 16:21:21

Yes it is disgusting!

shouldnthavesaid Sat 15-Mar-14 16:21:26

Aye, it wasn't my nappy I mean! It was my wee sisters!!

Melonbreath Sat 15-Mar-14 16:23:09


Melonbreath Sat 15-Mar-14 16:23:13


Melonbreath Sat 15-Mar-14 16:23:19


Melonbreath Sat 15-Mar-14 16:23:23


WorraLiberty Sat 15-Mar-14 16:23:33

I used to stick my kids over my knee (with a travel changing mat) and change them like that.

I think I had it down to less than 2 minutes at one point grin

Patchouli Sat 15-Mar-14 16:25:14

I was also going to say "OF"?
But then I noticed your name
(I'm hoping the 'of' is a windup).

wouldntofgussed Sat 15-Mar-14 16:25:23

it was a dirty nappy but I changed her on a plastic mat wrapped it in a bag and the guard put it in the bin at the next station didn't really want to leave her as she gets sore really quickly.
just looked at the train times the journey is only just over an hour( but felt much longer) and for some reason often only has two carriages and no toilet

5madthings Sat 15-Mar-14 16:25:34

I could do it quickly not on my lap, I am a short arse bit have big babies. And I don't like changing them sideways on iyswim. I like to lay them out so I am kneeling at themir feet iyswim.

EEatingSoupForLunch Sat 15-Mar-14 16:26:46

<offers Melonbreath a glass of water>

specialsubject Sat 15-Mar-14 16:28:05

no to the question. No choice.

people don't learn unless their mistakes are corrected. Those who are complaining that someone pointed out the mistake in English are probably the same ones who yelled 'swot' in school.

WorraLiberty Sat 15-Mar-14 16:29:35

Maybe the woman meant it smelled disgusting?

Which to be fair, shit normally does grin

She should have kept her comment to herself.

formerbabe Sat 15-Mar-14 16:30:08

Its not ideal but what can you do?!

When my babies were small and there was no where to change them, I would change them in their buggy...just slide a portable changing mat under them.

people don't learn unless their mistakes are corrected. Those who are complaining that someone pointed out the mistake in English are probably the same ones who yelled 'swot' in school.

The OP didn't ask for an English lesson, just an AIBU about changing a nappy on a train. I was the biggest swot ever at school though.

WorraLiberty Sat 15-Mar-14 16:31:00

Look, when the OP starts a thread asking for advice on her grammar, then it's fair to comment.

Until she does, any pulling her up about it is just plain rude hmm

5madthings Sat 15-Mar-14 16:31:30

Yep I changed them in the pushchair when necessary as well. You can't leave them in a dirty nappy.

But now you are asking SS you are a couple of capital letters missing at the beginning of your sentences. sad

notthegirlnextdoor Sat 15-Mar-14 16:33:03


People expecting you to leave a baby in a shitty nappy which could cause a horrid nappy rash and discomfort and pain because some precious twat made a snarky comment? I would have left the nappy on the seat next to her. Miserable cow.

purplebaubles Sat 15-Mar-14 16:36:00

I don't think you were left with much choice tbh!

Even leaving a pooey nappy on my DD for more than 5 mins gives her very painful nappy rash. That would have started screaming/crying.

What were you supposed to do? Some people just forget how it can be with babies, or actually don't know!

It's not ideal. But it's baby poo. We all do it. Saying it's 'disgusting' is ridiculous. It's disgusting that there are no loos on the train.

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 15-Mar-14 16:38:40

Your baby needed to be changed. End of. That woman would probably of have complained if your baby was crying because she was in a wet or poo filled nappy.

KnockMeDown Sat 15-Mar-14 16:43:46

Hermione I wouldn't have done it in the carriage - as 5mad said, if no other choice I would have put a mat down in the area between carriages.

I was shock and hmm at this! The area between carriages is small - just about wide enough to walk through, and not very long, with a door either side, and has a wobbly floor due to being where the carriages are joined. In addition people are constantly walking through. How on earth is anyone supposed to change a nappy there?

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Mar-14 16:45:37

YANBU at all

You should have chucked the nappy at her

5madthings Sat 15-Mar-14 16:48:09

All the trains I have been have more of a space and a door to get off the train. Not the little interconnects bit which yes is wobbly. The if you have to change a nappy you have to.I would try and move away from other people if I could but it's not always possible. As long as you use a Mat I think it's fine to do it on a seat if you have to.

Op it wouldn't have bothered me, I would be the one giving a sympathetic smile smile

I wouldn't have wanted to leave the baby in a pooey nappy - but I'm not sure I'd have changed it and then carried the pooey one either.

Rock --> hard place

Glampinglove Sat 15-Mar-14 16:49:03

Coffeetea103 what would have you done instead?

Chunderella Sat 15-Mar-14 16:56:18

I had to change DD on a moving, fairly full bus once. She'd just shat herself, we were 45 minutes away from our destination and the nearest public loo I knew of, and to top it off it was boiling. Not fun, but what can you do? Naturally, no self respecting baby would wish to soil themself at home, or in a place with changing facilities, when they could do it in transit and cause maximum nuisance. So these circumstances arise.

If the unreasonable women didn't like the smell of fresh shit, she wouldn't have found it any more toothsome sharing a carriage with him festering in it for 80 minutes. He was still going to stink whatever you did. Shit does. Also, the problem with nappies is that they do not have everlasting absorbency. If you'd left him in it for the rest of the journey, it could well have leaked and then you really would have got shit on the seats.

IceNoSlice Sat 15-Mar-14 16:57:21

YANBU. But childless people or those who have forgotten what having babies is like can sometimes be thoughtless and selfish - like a PP said, poo is disgusting! But no need to say it, and you had no choice.

You perhaps need a thicker skin though - smile sweetly and ask what she suggests you do instead?

Chunderella Sat 15-Mar-14 17:00:12

I would have snarled and asked her if she wanted me to throw the turd at her head...

TiggyCBE Sat 15-Mar-14 17:01:36

Disgusting, but the fault lies, or possibly lays, with the train company for not providing a toilet suitable for changing a baby.

sarahandmallard Sat 15-Mar-14 17:08:27

And why couldn't you gotten off at the next station to change your baby and waited for the next train? It was a commuter train, so it's not like you'd have to wait hours or your ticket wouldn't be valid on the next train. It was 2 carriages but because IT'S A BABY, one of the carriages has to be queasy smelling shit for the remainder of their journey?

Of course you don't leave your baby in a dirty nappy. But you also don't inconvenience all the other passengers on the carriage because you can't be inconvenienced to catch the next one.

And yes, I've had to wait half an hour for another train in this scenario. And stand rest of my journey. I don't want to smell shit nappies on my commute and I'm not going to subject others to it, just because it's my precious child.

formerbabe Sat 15-Mar-14 17:12:41

sarahandmallard... Really?!

WorraLiberty Sat 15-Mar-14 17:12:52

Gosh there are some delicate little flowers around grin

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 15-Mar-14 17:12:55

It was a wet nappy Sarah and the guard put it in a bin.

Maybe its just where I live but I would rather a babys nappy than the drug addicts shooting up on the train.

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 15-Mar-14 17:14:27

Then again a bit of baby poo doesn't bother me. Its not a pleasant smell but sure lots of things smell worse.

formerbabe Sat 15-Mar-14 17:14:50

Try carrying some smelling salts if it becomes too much for you!

Pagwatch Sat 15-Mar-14 17:17:49

Specialsubject said
"no to the question. No choice.

people don't learn unless their mistakes are corrected. Those who are complaining that someone pointed out the mistake in English are probably the same ones who yelled 'swot' in school."

Not a great comparison.
This is not a set of learning, it is a chat board.
Far more likely to reach for 'sanctemonious cunt' than swot.

freezingmytitsoff Sat 15-Mar-14 17:19:22

Sarahandmallard r u for real????

Chunderella Sat 15-Mar-14 17:20:11

Probably a good idea to find out exactly where and why OP was going before declaring that she ought to have got off and got the next train sarah. You'd also want to be damn sure there were changing facilities at the next station, because of course not all of them have them. OP hasn't mentioned the name of the train station, let alone route, so unless you have telepathically divined that there were facilities at the next stop, you haven't actually got a fucking clue.

freezingmytitsoff Sat 15-Mar-14 17:20:35

Sorry txt speak lol

Driveway Sat 15-Mar-14 17:21:02

It is kind of disgusting but needs must and the woman should have kept her nose out.

usualsuspectt Sat 15-Mar-14 17:23:18

I knew from the title that some twats would ignore the content of the OP and just correct her grammar. The correcting posters make me cringe.

Anyway OP, YANBU.

StarGazeyPond Sat 15-Mar-14 17:23:49

This is not a se(a)t of learning, it is a chat board

Why can't it be both?

usualsuspectt Sat 15-Mar-14 17:26:29

Because the OP didn't ask an English lesson.

ChunkyPickle Sat 15-Mar-14 17:26:50

I'd never get off the train. Absolutely no problem with someone doing what they have to do and changing a baby on the train (as long as no mess, and the nappy is wrapped and disposed of after)

I felt this way before I had kids, and now I do have them.

Sarah - you'd better not be on a train with my DS2 - his wind is horrendous - I don't like being near it, but there's nothing to be done, nothing to change, and people would just have to endure it. At least poo can be wrapped and the smell pretty much got rid of!

WorraLiberty Sat 15-Mar-14 17:27:30

Far more likely to reach for 'sanctemonious cunt' than swot.

Well said! grin

StarGazeyPond Sat 15-Mar-14 17:27:48

usual - how can anyone ask for an English lesson when they don't know what they are saying is wrong grin

ShredMeJillianIWantToBeNatalie Sat 15-Mar-14 17:28:11

I think what you did, in the way that you did it, was probably the only reasonable and sensible option. Far better that than the lady I saw carrying a potty filled with wee and a little turd floating in it through a café to the toilets (we had all been treated to the sight of her three year old sitting on the potty while enjoying our lunch at the outside tables)....quite why that was easier than taking him to the toilets in person, I have no idea!

Far more likely to reach for 'sanctemonious cunt' than swot.

Pagwatch Sat 15-Mar-14 17:34:00


JumbledAndTumbled Sat 15-Mar-14 17:34:24

I don't think the OP had much of a choice. I would be a bit grossed out if someone changed a babies nappy close to me but I would totally understand that it was just one of those things that are unavoidable.
I have four kids and I have done my fair share of nappies but I aways found them a bit disgusting. They are completely natural and normal but they are still a bit gross confused

I used to carry a little can of odour neutraliser that worked like magic to take away the shitty smell. It was years ago though and I don't remember what it was called.

Ahem - sanct*i*monious - sorry Pagwatch et al. winkgrin

Pagwatch Sat 15-Mar-14 17:37:53


It's fine SDT. I forgive you, you lovely old cunt'

hollyisalovelyname Sat 15-Mar-14 17:38:16

I have no problem with you having to change a wee baby's nappy but I do object to bad grammar wink

Pagwatch Sat 15-Mar-14 17:38:33


It's fine SDT. I forgive you, you lovely old cunt'

Pagwatch Sat 15-Mar-14 17:38:54

Twice apparently ...

It's very sanctimonious of you to point that out SDTG. grin

Such a lovely compliment, you had to say it twice! [overwhelmed]grin

SDTGisALovelySanctimoniousOldCunt - I am not sure, but I think that is too long for a new nickname!

Burren Sat 15-Mar-14 17:40:53

If someone complains about me changing a nappy in a situation where no changing facilities have been provided, I politely suggest they take their grievance to whoever is in authority, and assure them that as soon as someone provides an actual solution, my baby's smelly nether regions will be first in the queue.

Pagwatch Sat 15-Mar-14 17:43:43

It has a certain ring SDTG


FrigginRexManningDay Sat 15-Mar-14 17:45:53

Or perhaps SDTGhasalovelysanctimoniousoldcunt.

growingolddicustingly Sat 15-Mar-14 18:12:19

I'd rather a quickly changed baby than have to put up with the dirty bugger who used to get on the 06:05 every morning and immediately go and take a smelly dump that pervaded the carriage for the next 45 minutes. I used to pray for out of order toilets.

Don't worry about stupid people making stupid comments.

wouldntofgussed Sat 15-Mar-14 18:14:08

I know my English is rubbish will try harder in future ha ha .The train was going from Sheffield to Manchester (getting of at reddish north) all the stations in between are small so not sure if any have changing rooms anyway.
Maybe I'm being selfish but didn't really want to get of the train when I knew the next one wouldn't be due for a an hour and my five year old had fallen asleep. I moved and change her right at the end of the carriage near where the buggy's/bikes go so was as far away from all the other passengers as I could be.

I think you did the best you could in the circumstances, and the person who made the comment was being very unreasonable. Don't let it worry you!

Well I have learnt something today. That not all long distance trains have loos. Yet we are supposed to all be using public transport. Mmm.

HemlockStarglimmer Sat 15-Mar-14 18:51:49

A friend of mine was dismayed to find no loo on a coach recently. Apparently there is no requirement for one if the journey is less than two hours and his journey was an hour and a half. I wonder if it is the same is for trains.

shock I know loads of people that would find that a huge problem Hemlock. sad

ShabbyChic8 Sat 15-Mar-14 18:57:38

I would have done the same. No way would I leave a baby in a dirty nappy and risk it squidging everywhere which would then require a full clothes change too. Plus train loos are tiny.

phonebox Sat 15-Mar-14 19:48:40

Trains are disgusting anyway, I doubt changing a nappy at the end of a carriage would have made much difference. The standard of hygiene on them is shocking.

If there were no baby-changing facilities available then of course YWNBU, OP. Needs must and all that.

Princess28 Sat 15-Mar-14 19:51:58

I was on a train once that went from Brighton to Cardiff with no loos! We'd all got megatrain tickets so they were only valid for that train.
Anyway- OP YANBU

UrethraFranklin Sat 15-Mar-14 19:52:45

I have done the same and it wasn't just a poo, it was an explosion! She should've kept her thoughts to herself.

MammaTJ Sat 15-Mar-14 20:15:17

I could not leave DS in a nappy more than 10 minutes, so would have done the same. YWNBU!

I may have been tempted to smear the nappy all over the moany ones face but that might have been a tad unreasonable.

LaGuardia Sat 15-Mar-14 20:22:11

Yes, I am with the disgusting vote. Yuk.

Sirzy Sat 15-Mar-14 20:26:35

Its far from ideal but you did the best you could in the circumstances.

You could hardly leave a baby in a dirty nappy for that long

Marylou62 Sat 15-Mar-14 20:31:48

I had a 'flight on the London eye once and waited ages in the queue. About 5 minutes into it a couple changed their babies really, really smelly nappy. No way did I mind but it was a full pod and I could see other people nearly gagging! But as a Mother of 3 and a nanny, I know these things happen. But why didn't one of them do it whilst other stayed in queue, or wait till the end? They fussed about so much they missed most of the trip. And no the baby wasn't new born and because of my position I saw the babys bum and it wasn't red or sore. Weird.

MrsDeVere Sat 15-Mar-14 20:33:14

I would rather someone changed a nappy and put it in a nappy bag and stuffed in their bag than sit next to a stinky baby for an hour and half.

I hate it when people dont change their kids.

I know we get used to the smell of our own kids except DS3's but poo is poo and it smells horrible to other people.

Ignore the person. They probably tell all sorts of people they are disgusting for all sorts of reasons.

Sirzy Sat 15-Mar-14 20:35:22

I hate it when people dont change their kids.

That reminded me of the 4 hour flight back from greece when someones baby did a poo early in the flight yet the parents didn't change the nappy. Horrendous to be sat behind, but I dread to think what state the poor babies bottom must have been in by the end of the flight sad

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 15-Mar-14 20:39:33

"I'd have wiped it right across her horrible face if she spoke to me like that."

Another internet vigilante strikes again.

OP, if you had no choice you had no choice.

Tallypet Sat 15-Mar-14 20:42:25

Christ some of you pendants should hop on over to your own very 'special' grammar and spelling page. FFS this is a woman asking for advice not grammar/spelling etiquette. Grow up and stop being so petty and belittling!

wouldn't I would have done the same thing. Baby needs to be changed so do it.

Tallypet Sat 15-Mar-14 20:42:42


Oldandcobwebby Sat 15-Mar-14 20:46:13

When Jimmy Saville was doing his "This is the age of the train" adverts on TV, I wonder if he was secretly hoping for some exposed nether regions and poo-ey nappies?


MrsFruitcake Sat 15-Mar-14 20:50:29

YANBU but the woman who changed her baby's shitty nappy on the table in the pizza/pasta buffet place at Legoland last October half term - You were being VVU.

MidniteScribbler Sat 15-Mar-14 20:58:39

From the OP, it sounds like you left your seat and walked up the carriage to change the nappy. I'd probably be a bit annoyed if you walked donw the carriage and plonked yourself next to me to change the nappy to avoid stinking out your own seat.

MrsKCastle Sat 15-Mar-14 21:06:19

Midnitescribbler OP has said that she moved to where the bikes are kept- she deliberately went as far from theother passengers as she could.


I know of a few journeys that could be the one the OP is describing (with saying Mersey rail, I'm in Liverpool).

Normally I would say to try to wait, but there aren't any facilities at many stations, from Liverpool to Manchester? that you could get off at and get back on and the ticket could be just for that train.

If you are so sensitive them don't go to Liverpool and travel on the 26 bus, it reeks.

It would be easy enough for a guard to dispose of the nappy at the next stop and could use baby wipes etc to clean up.

You do get out of the habit of dealing with human poo, so it seems/is disgusting, like not having a dog and wondering why anyone wouldn't mind picking up dog poo.

You have to learn to ignore people, there will always be one that has to say something, regardless of what you are doing.

lilola Sat 15-Mar-14 22:30:54

out of interest, why is it ok on a train but not a bus...? I remember an 'Aibu to have changed a dirty nappy on the bus' thread where the op got FLAMED by a lot of people saying it was disgusting, inconsiderate etc. The thread was maybe a year ago. My bus journey to college takes 50 mins, is there a time limit on when it's acceptable to change a nappy on public transport?

deakymom Sat 15-Mar-14 22:58:35

i would have changed it regardless my son gets hysterical when he is dirty!

btw ive never seen toilets on a train which is big enough to change a baby in although i did know a couple who had sex in them we all sat outside and debated the position they were using because its so tiny in there! (bored college students) grin

Waltonswatcher1 Sat 15-Mar-14 23:14:26

A huge great massive stinker to all those who think its ok to leave any age child in a bag full of shit . Even briefly .
It's quite simple if there's a bog great; If not then improvise . Shit burns sensitive skin really really quickly .
I always change my babies on my lap - that way I can do it anywhere and they don't have to be placed on filthy public changing tables .

mymiraclebubba Sat 15-Mar-14 23:52:54

I use the same train route as the Op about once every few months and there are regularly no loos on it! Not fun when ibwas heavily pregnant!

If my dd needed changing then inbound change her wet/poop frankly. Baby's skin is too sensitive to be left sitting in it for over an hour. The woman was an idiot and you did nothing wrong OP

Chunderella Sun 16-Mar-14 00:44:28

I can't imagine why anyone would start a thread asking if they wbu to change a nappy on a bus. The answer is so very clearly no.

UncleT Sun 16-Mar-14 03:32:52

I don't get it. Assuming comparable journey length, why is it fine for a train with no loo, but not for a bus? Do the rails make it smell less? Or, do the bus wheels make the child react less to being left to sit in a dirty nappy? Seems pretty similar to me.

UncleT Sun 16-Mar-14 03:34:03

BTW op, YANBU if there definitely was no loo.

spindlyspindler Sun 16-Mar-14 07:42:13

Wouldn't have bothered me as a non parent.. Trains with loos smell of poo on a permanent basis so it's swings and roundabouts. The thought of a tiny person sitting in a filthy nappy for an hour or more really does bother me so change away, parents!

spindlyspindler Sun 16-Mar-14 07:43:26

Wouldn't have bothered me as a non parent.. Trains with loos smell of poo on a permanent basis so it's swings and roundabouts. The thought of a tiny person sitting in a filthy nappy for an hour or more really does bother me so change away, parents!

well she was right, it was probably disgusting to her, but it is a fact of life. and you put it in a nappy sack and the guard took it away,
problem solved.
i guess you could have asked her if she minded, but gone ahead anyway.

Not ideal but needs must. I'd far rather someone had to breathe into their scarf for a few minutes than leave my child in her own poo for an hour and end up with her poor little bottom in goodness knows what state.

candycoatedwaterdrops Sun 16-Mar-14 09:51:03

Babies wee and poo, it does not smell pleasant but what can you do? Not a mum yet but I used to be a nursery asst and a nanny. Some babies/small children get so sore sitting in dirty nappies and it often smells bad anyway. It's a lose-lose situation. We were all babies once!

OhMerGerd Sun 16-Mar-14 10:00:13

No.. I think you and anyone who thinks it's ok to do this is BU.
I think its inconsiderate, rude and very selfish to change poo nappies in the carriage on the tables or chairs in front of other passengers but I do recognise the need to change a baby and if there were no facilities I would go into the connecting bit between carriages to do it. To at least minimise the impact on other passengers.

I am well mannered and I do not subscribe to that 'me first and my children' attitude which seems to be becoming more prevalent. If it's my problem (I take my child by choice on a train, I need to keep my child clean) it's me that should bear the greater inconvenience. It's an example of rights coming with responsibilities. Other passengers have a right not to watch/smell stinky nappies being changed. Just as our babies have a right not to sit in poo. We as parents have the responsibility to manage the situation with some compromise. It's the same with people who bring strong smelling food on trains or who have loud music leeching out of their headphones or who f & blind their way through anecdotes in loud phone conversations about stds/sexual conquests/gory murders etc when small children are seated nearby. All inconsiderate, rude and selfish.
I've seen too many parents who take the attitude I've paid my ticket / for my meal so I'm going to change baby in public view/ on the restaurant table or quip 'he's just exploring his surroundings/ he's only little' as they let toddler handle with wet grungy hands all the bread rolls in a supermarket display or using a whiny voice to say 'they'll be bored otherwise and I need to get out of the house ' as their child bangs on a loud toy in the library/church/school play of older brother or sister. Spoiling it for everyone else is not ok.
It's this me first me me me attitude that has children failing in schools because they can't take constructive criticism and gives them a sense of entitlement that doesn't prepare them for real life.

monkeynuts123 Sun 16-Mar-14 10:09:34

In Italy I was in a restaurant in the daytime and there were only a few customers. I asked the waiter where I could change the babys nappy as the loo was so small there was nowhere to lay her down. The waiter matter of factly cleared the table next to us of cutlery, and said do it for bebe. The English are a frigging uptight disgrace.

Essiebee Sun 16-Mar-14 10:15:15

Yes it was disgusting. Does this mean we shall now have mums changing dirty nappies everywhere on trains to establish their rights?

trixymalixy Sun 16-Mar-14 10:18:08

Monkeys, I had the same happen to me in Rome. I couldn't believe they wanted me to change a babies nappy on a table where someone would eat<<vom>>. I went to the toilets instead and just put the mat on the floor. I'm not English though.

OP you did the right thing given the situation.

and i dont think i would have, you say the journey was an hour.

hackmum Sun 16-Mar-14 10:44:35

Slight overreaction from OhMerGerd there...

The problem is the lack of toilets on the train. With a decent-sized toilet, it would have been fine. I don't see how it's practically possible to change the baby in the connecting bit between carriages because they're usually too small and people are often walking back and for between them. Sometimes they have automatic doors which would just add to the difficulty, because they'd be opening and closing as you moved around. In fact, of all the possible solutions to the problem, I'd say changing the nappy in the connecting bit between carriages is the worst one.

I think the OP did the right thing.

Chunderella Sun 16-Mar-14 11:11:11

Yeah, I'm not sure it would be minimising the inconvenience to other passengers to change the nappy in the adjoining bit. Not all trains have them anyway, but some that do are very narrow. It might also be considered a fire hazard to block an exit in that way. I know people sometimes stand in doorways and exits when the train is busy, but I've seen people be asked to move away when there's room to go elsewhere. Which makes me think the train company probably wouldn't have been thrilled if OP had unnecessarily blocked a fire exit.

Chunderella Sun 16-Mar-14 11:18:20

Actually those virgin intercity trains sometimes have an area where you can leave bikes. If that was empty, it might be a place to change a nappy with minimal inconvenience to others. Most trains don't have that though, including the one OP was on.

chateauferret Sun 16-Mar-14 11:37:20

The person in charge on a railway train is the conductor. It is his job to determine what pax behaviour is and is not U, based on the Conditions of Carriage. If Cowbag-face had a problem, she should have referred it to him. Clearly, she would have received short shrift.

chateauferret Sun 16-Mar-14 11:38:19

The person in charge on a railway train is the conductor. It is his job to determine what pax behaviour is and is not U, based on the Conditions of Carriage. If Cowbag-face had a problem, she should have referred it to him. Clearly, she would have received short shrift.

chateauferret Sun 16-Mar-14 11:38:53

The person in charge on a railway train is the conductor. It is his job to determine what pax behaviour is and is not U, based on the Conditions of Carriage. If Cowbag-face had a problem, she should have referred it to him. Clearly, she would have received short shrift.

chateauferret Sun 16-Mar-14 11:40:54

The person in charge on a railway train is the conductor. It is his job to determine what pax behaviour is and is not U, based on the Conditions of Carriage. If Cowbag-face had a problem, she should have referred it to him. Clearly, she would have received short shrift.

Does it say in the Conditions of Carriage, "thou shalt refrain from changing thy baby's nappy, yea even though he may have pooed and stinketh unto the highest vaults of Heaven, and even though he hath a sore arse?" No, it does not.


chateauferret Sun 16-Mar-14 11:46:38

The person in charge on a railway train is the conductor. It is his job to determine what pax behaviour is and is not U, based on the Conditions of Carriage. If Cowbag-face had a problem, she should have referred it to him. Clearly, she would have received short shrift.

Does it say in the Conditions of Carriage, "thou shalt refrain from changing thy baby's nappy, yea even though he may have pooed and stinketh unto the highest vaults of Heaven, and even though he hath a sore arse?" No, it does not.


OhMerGerd Sun 16-Mar-14 11:53:23

Good heavens. What happens during the night when all babies wet their nappies or poop? Do they have alarms in their pjs which alert the parents who then leap out of bed within 10 mins to an hour? Or are all these parents staying awake on shift to ensure that soiling is immediately dealt with?
No of course not! A wet nappy is not an emergency and a poo nappy can be dealt with more discreetly.

If you regularly travel by train as I do you will also know that frequently those in between bits are used as seating areas when the trains are full so I doubt anyone is going mind the few minutes it takes to change a nappy. If no in between bit why not move to the luggage rack? Or just wait till you get off?
Come on. It does not do a cause any good to argue for the indefensible. Changing poo nappies on trains and restaurants tables where you are in confined space and close proximity to other passengers / diners is disgusting.

Chunderella Sun 16-Mar-14 12:00:59

Do babies generally poo in the night and then sleep through it, then? DD has never done this. The only overnight shits have been during feeds. I thought humans didn't tend to poo in their sleep, but no doubt if she did she'd cry soon enough. As for wet nappies, they're something that needs dealing with urgently if they're full.

You also need to not bracket trains and restaurant tables in together. They're not the same thing, in the slightest.

squishysquirmy Sun 16-Mar-14 12:19:11

YWNBU, you had no choice and as you describe it you did everything you could to minimise the discomfort to other passengers.

OhMerGerd I regularly travel by train, as you do, and can assure you that there is more than one type of train design - obviously the one the OP was on did not have such a convenient place to change the nappy as you describe. As for changing it on the luggage rack - you really think changing it on top of someone elses suitcase is more considerate? As for your comment about changing babies in the middle of the night - no, they do not have alarms in their PJs to alert their parents to a pooy nappy, the crying is enough.

crazy88 Sun 16-Mar-14 12:25:25

It is not acceptable to change a nappy on a table. Corridor between carriages or other out of the way place would have been better but like others have said if there were no toilets I would loudly ask the conductor where I could change the nappy.

OP - not disgusting at all. I have done it several times. I always try to find a discreet spot, and ask anyone who is near if they mind. If they did (I've never come across someone who did mind) I would move to another spot.

Toilets on trains are not always big enough, and I'm not kneeling on the floor of a pissy toilet to change a nappy anyway. I can't change a nappy on my lap.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Sun 16-Mar-14 12:47:52

What is wrong with people? confused

I assume that the poo was contained within the nappy & wipes and placed in a nappy sack or other suitable bag? In which case, it is not dirty or disgusting for anyone. And the smell of shit is the smell of shit - whether from a nappy being changed or from a nappy left in situ for the entire journey!

OhMerGerd Sun 16-Mar-14 12:49:42

I have had a couple of babies myself so I do know how they work smile ... that's is why I find the dogmatic insistence that OP is not unreasonable quite incredible.

I've travelled on trains, boats, planes, cars and bikes while they were in nappies and never would have dreamed of performing the task of changing a dirty nappy on a train carriage table or a restaurant table(I reference restaurant tables because others up thread proclaim that this is acceptable too). I know I have never done so. But I have assessed the situation and either waited until I have got off or moved to a location where we will not cause offence. None of my children have had sores on their bottoms or uti or any problem at all.

They are exceptionally well mannered, polite and considerate of others - they know what is and what is not appropriate in a public setting and to make a distinction between that and a private setting.

But it takes all sorts I suppose.

Chunderella Sun 16-Mar-14 14:01:34

It does take all sorts indeed OhMerGerd. In your case, if your DC have never had sore bottoms due to waiting to be changed you've either never been in a situation where no changing facilities would be available for some time, or they have arses of teflon. That might perhaps explain why you're taking a position so far removed from both the majority and from reasonableness.

Waltonswatcher1 Sun 16-Mar-14 14:37:55

No one can defend changing a baby on a dining table surely ? That would be utterly disgusting .
The op didn't mention tables or have I missed something ?
Learn how to change on your laps for gods sake ! It is an easy thing to master and means you can perch anywhere and do a bum discreetly . Problem solved .

ShredMeJillianIWantToBeNatalie Sun 16-Mar-14 14:56:21

If they have, I haven't seen it Walton

HelloBoys Sun 16-Mar-14 15:04:05

I'm childless and agree with what you did OP!

However I'd also have asked (guard was on train) if there was anywhere (eg staff toilet) on train that I could've changed baby in. Most sane train staff would help you.

I think it's disgusting there are not toilets or baby change facilities (put in toilets if no room for separate) on most trains.

And finally for everyone who whinges re toilets not being nice to change babies well not nice for travellers either in toilets but you deal with it.

spikeymikie Sun 16-Mar-14 15:32:22

Those of us with disabled older children have to change them on toilet floors all the time. Since this option was not available to the OP what she did was reasonable.

TheBody Sun 16-Mar-14 15:39:26

wish mumsnetters would realise that correcting posters grammar makes them look such mega twats.

I wish people would be rude like this to me. I have changed my kids millions of times over years and breast fed everywhere but no bugger has ever once commented.

not bloody fair when you really could do with a good old row. grin

HelloBoys Sun 16-Mar-14 15:59:33

Oh out of interest trains I've travelled on recently (first great western etc) most seemed to be big toilets, even southern when you get them can be larger. I'd assume they had pull down baby mats but not sure.

Surely larger toilets with baby change should be industry standard if not because they also look big enough for a wheelchair (that's another topic!).

I live to see a row on a bus or a train TheBody. I could feel a box was ticked. But everyone has been nice. confused

wouldntofgussed Sun 16-Mar-14 18:42:22

The connecting bit between the carriages is tiny and the floor moves so not really a good place to change a baby. Also the seats in both carriages face towards the middle the full train would have all had a good view.
I went as far to the back of the train as I could changing her on a changing mat on the floor(I wouldn't have changed her on the seat or table or even right in front of another passenger) the nappy was wrapped and taken of at the next stop and I opened two windows before sitting back down.

bellasuewow Sun 16-Mar-14 18:48:45

Coffee babies cry and poo and wee and puke so do animals and people when they are ill we all live in the real world deal with it

IamaBreastfeedingTramp Sun 16-Mar-14 19:34:40

I would have nodded vigorously and agreed with her

"yes it's disgusting isn't it, imagine having to sit in it for an hour!"

wtf is wrong with people??? babies poo, shit stinks (probably less as you changed the nappy rather than left it), life goes on...

As for the idea that you should've left the train...!! Really?! On what planet?

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