MIL coming to stay to look after daughter during easter hols - bedroom and bed issues

(78 Posts)
bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 13:59:02

DH invited his mother to come & look after our daughter for one week of easter hols
We live 4 hours away from MIL. She is mid 60s divorce with gentleman friend ("GF") who is mid 70s and does everything for her
There is a bit of history re: MIL divorce from FIL and DH response to that but basically he gets on ok with his mother
DH is not good at communicating. In jan this year DH said to me "shall I ask my mother down" to which I emailed him yes but what are the sleeping arrangements and is GF going to come too etc, shall we buy a sofabed (we only have enough bedrooms for me daughter and son). However we have a single bed. DH said MIL can sleep on single bed. GF has now phoned DH and said "am I invited too and I am going to book into b&b". DH now shouting at me that it is going to cost MIL and GF hundreds of pounds in b&b costs and they will have to sleep in our double bed instead and DH and I will sleep on an air bed in the living room. We did this (sleeping on airbed) regularly for christmases when MIL came down when we were first together (early 30s) but now I have two little ones and more than 10 years later - am I being unreasonable to be annoyed that DH has stubbornly refused to buy a sofabed or in any way address the sleeping arrangements? Initially he is suggesting he (DH) sleeps on single bed and I sleep on floor. I am guessing MIL wants GF to come down because she does not want to drive 4 hours herself and GF wants to stay purely because he does not fancy an 8 hour round trip to escort her down and then go home (very reasonable). MIL has previously openly said she dislikes me but I am polite and respectful of her and we have never openly had a fall out. I should just suck it up and sleep on the floor and forget my husbands refusal to buy a sofabed shouldnt i?? By way of postscript I have enough annual leave to take to look after daughter myself and my own parents have offered to have me and son at their house that week so there would be enough beds at our home (MIL and GF in our bed, husband in single bed etc)

HumphreyCobbler Fri 14-Mar-14 14:01:01

ffs, HE should sleep on the floor!

BumpyGrindy Fri 14-Mar-14 14:01:09

HOw well do you know this GF? I would not be comfortable with any of this...you're basically inviting a strange man into your home to care for your child!

LeaveYourSisterBe Fri 14-Mar-14 14:01:31

Why can't you say "no I'm not sleeping on the floor, we're buying a sofabed, otherwise you are sleeping on the floor and I'm in the single bed"?

HarpyFishwifeTwat Fri 14-Mar-14 14:01:50

Fuck that - I give up my bed for no-one. If you don't need her to stay and look after DD then tell your pillock of a husband that you can save MIL & GF a lot of money by them not coming at all.

NurseyWursey Fri 14-Mar-14 14:02:07

Why can't you just go and buy a sofabed? I'm assuming you share funds? It's not just your husband's decision and he's being bloody stupid. Why should you have to be in discomfort.

mousmous Fri 14-Mar-14 14:02:56

yanbu
send dh to ikea and get this

StanleyLambchop Fri 14-Mar-14 14:02:57

If you don't actually need her for childcare then it is to all purposes a social visit? Is she also looking after your son, or is he too old to need care? Do you need permission to buy a sofa bed- can't you just go out and buy it? Problem solved!

seesensepeople Fri 14-Mar-14 14:02:57

What's stopping you buying the sofabed?

mousmous Fri 14-Mar-14 14:03:41

or just get a cheap double matress from argos as your guest bed.

pictish Fri 14-Mar-14 14:04:06

Agree with Fishwife - I wouldn't be giving up my bed. Not a chance!

magesticmallow Fri 14-Mar-14 14:04:37

HUH??? Your dh wants the bed and wants you to sleep on the floor????

YouTheCat Fri 14-Mar-14 14:05:09

How come he gets the single bed and you have to kip on the floor?

Take your kids to your parents and let him stew with his dm.

scarletforya Fri 14-Mar-14 14:05:54

Your 'd' h suggested you sleep on the floor while he gets a bed? He shouts at you?

Who the fuck does he think he is?

Annianni Fri 14-Mar-14 14:09:57

Do you want her to stay?
If the answer is no, then cancel the visit altogether.

I don't do any of this having visitors crap and it's great.
But if I did, then I certainly wouldn't be giving my bed up... Never mind sleeping on the floor.

theeternalstudent Fri 14-Mar-14 14:10:18

Are you even sure that the boyfriend wants to stay at your house? He might actually prefer to stay in a B&B. He might just see this as a little holiday. I would check that out first before you go and buy a sofa bed.

If I was the boyfriend and wasn't short of funds I would want to be in that B&B!

bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 14:10:34

Trouble is early in our courtship 14 or so years ago I was accommodating. MIL came for christmas every single year. A precedent was set. After we had two children when daughter was 2 and son was 6 months she came one christmas and slept in our double bed with GF, husband and I slept on airbed. I found it torture, especially as it because clear she disliked me and that husband is to a greater or lesser extent a little bit of a mummys boy. After an agonising festive season I tried to move away from the idea that she comes to us every single christmas. The next christmas MIL did not come to ours however DH made comments like "you've ruined christmas" (i.e me) - i guess because his mum was not there. Last christmas she did not come and the atmosphere was much better and I thought he had started to move a bit more independent of his mum. I would like to get to the stage where his mum can come and we can all be happy but the scenario where I am sleeping on the floor again 14 years on from first meeting DH and being almost in my mid 40s feels (i) a bit studenty (ii) something MIL will love to see (or maybe I am being paranoid) (iii) something where he is saying "I am NOT forking out for a sofabed" and due to me earning less than him he is blackmailing me on the expense of it etc
if I suggest I take our youngest (our son) to my parents for the week DH goes mad as I guess he wants MIL to see him as Daddy of the house with me there and DH and I going off to work in the morning etc. (Something to do with the fact that MIL left FIL for another man and DH maybe has issues with women disrespecting men - from the depth of my heart I want to keep out of it hence I want to go to my own parents for that week with my son and leave DH to it with his mother)
Its a can of worms isnt it

bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 14:14:31

theeternalstudent GF is wealthy and does not like any of this crap - he does not have children and never got married and I think MIL is his first relationship. I am sure he wants to stay in a B&B and can well afford it - however MIL has always refused is regular requests to get married and so she likes to keep an air of financial independence. Hence MIL would like to stay at our house for whatever her own reasons are. MIL is not particularly wealthy. However she does often go on holiday with GF and he "treats" her to nice things. GF does whatever MIL wants and MIL resfuses to do things GF wants (apart from MIL regularly cooks him sunday lunch and has nursed him thro an illness or two but they dont live together, he visits her)
But to be frank my deepest desire is to have nothing to do with it - coward that i am

eurochick Fri 14-Mar-14 14:14:50

It sounds like your husband has ishoooos.

I don't see why you just can't buy a sofabed for them to stay on.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Fri 14-Mar-14 14:18:55

Just buy a sofabed - your a grown up now, you can buy a sofa bed all by yourself without anybodys permission

bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 14:24:04

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow you are right
he will hate it but you are right

MangoBiscuit Fri 14-Mar-14 14:27:01

Why do you have to be the one on the floor? You asked at the time if this would need to be addressed. If your DH has stuck his head in the sand that's his problem. He can either accept it needs to be sorted now, or he can be the one going without a bed for a week. If he tries to lord his higher wages over you, point out that it's HIS mother's boyfriend that's staying as an extra therefore requiring the extra bed, and it's HIS mother that's visiting, on HIS invitation. If it wasn't for your DH, you wouldn't be needing to buy a sofa bed at all.

ikeaismylocal Fri 14-Mar-14 14:32:26

Why can't your dh sleep on the floor?

If mil wants to see both kids why don't you just go to your parents? Is your youngest a breastfed baby? Is there a reason you can't leave him?

Your dh is being very unreasonable, he has lots of options, buy a sofa bed, send mil's partner the list of some local b+bs, sleep on the floor. He can choose the option her likes best, just make it clear to him that you sleeping on a blow up bed in your own home isn't an option.

Nomama Fri 14-Mar-14 14:35:45

The rules go like this:

My family visits I worry about amusing them and accommodating them, I sleep on the floor, or whatever is required.

Your family visits then he does the thinking, arranging and he gets put out.

I know what my family like and will put up with better then you do and vice versa.

Why is it some people (men?) don't get this?

whattheholyfeck Fri 14-Mar-14 14:37:32

I would suggest you take yourself off to your parents house (or if you can afford it, a hotel with a spa grin) and enjoy a bit of peace and quiet.

In the nicest possible way, fuck em.

whois Fri 14-Mar-14 14:40:16

Two easy options here I think.
1. You sleep in single bed and DH goes on the floor.
2. A sofa decent bed is purchase ASAP and MIL and GF sleep on that.

Inertia Fri 14-Mar-14 14:41:35

Your DH is being a twat.

You have a number of options:

- make direct contact with gentleman friend and ask whether he would prefer to arrange a b&b or cobbled-together sleeping arrangements in your house. He might not actually want to stay with you, he might want a bit of privacy and his own bathroom.

- stay in your own bed and put one or both of the children in a travel cot/ on an airbed on your bedroom floor, freeing up the children's rooms for MIL and GF.

- Sleep in your bed, move DD into your bed, and put DH downstairs on teh airbed.

-Buy a sofabed without waiting for permission.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Fri 14-Mar-14 14:42:45

Why's he shouting at you about it? It's not your bloody fault, is it?

He is actually shouting at you??

whiteblossom Fri 14-Mar-14 14:58:09

wow what a gent your dh is, expecting you and only you to sleep on the floor to accommodate a women that hates you.

Tell him and well you too actually to grow some balls.

Why the actual fuck is he suggesting that YOU are the one who should sleep on the floor?

He'd be in serious danger of sleeping on the floor permanently iiwy

whattheholyfeck Fri 14-Mar-14 14:59:17

yes, forgot to say your OH is being a bit of a dick. Well, a lot of a dick.

girlywhirly Fri 14-Mar-14 15:02:03

DH invited his mother in the first place, so either he buys a sofa bed or she sleeps on the single bed, or she goes to the B&B with GF. Spell it out that you will not be moving from your bed. There will be no guests staying unless there are adequate beds for everyone to be comfortable.

If you prefer to take the time off work yourself, you can say to MIL that DH has assumed you will be working and has not communicated arrangements very well to her, so you will be at home and will not need childcare as such. If however she and GF want to come it would be better if they stay in a B&B as you don't have enough beds for everyone to be comfortable. Hint that your days of sleeping on floors and airbeds are well and truly over. Has DH grasped the fact that GF isn't that much into DC and would probably prefer the B&B option for the respite. They could come for 4 nights if a week would cost too much.

Of course if you did get a sofabed that would give MIL the idea that sleeping arrangements are now no problem, and therefore easy to come and stay anytime.

I think that while you may want to go to your parents, leaving him to it in your home with his parents looks as if you are deliberately avoiding them and being pushed out of your own home.

NaturalBaby Fri 14-Mar-14 15:06:05

Why is she coming if you don't need her for childcare? Particularly if there isn't space in the house.
Why does she need to look after your DD and not your DS?

I would be suggesting a more suitable time where you can spend better quality time together. Or that you go to your mum's with your dc and leave your DH and his mother to have some quality time together. Or sent him off to stay with your MIL for a few days.

Aeroflotgirl Fri 14-Mar-14 15:07:46

You need to grow a pair op and stop letting your h treat you like shit. Why should you sleep on the floor, when he is rejecting the sofa bed idea. Why is he shouting at you saying it's all your fault! Sod that for a fame of soldiers, I would take the kids and stay with my parents. I feel that GF would prefer some privacy, and time away from kids, that's pribably why he suggested staying in a BB. I Wouk tell h where to stick it!

Aeroflotgirl Fri 14-Mar-14 15:08:50

I agree girlywirly, op needs to have words with h

Floralnomad Fri 14-Mar-14 15:09:52

Sorry but I have obviously missed something ,why is she coming to look after your dd ,who has your son ? Where do you plan to put the sofa bed if you get one ? You sleep in the single bed and your DH can sleep on the floor / air bed or whatever .

bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 15:11:59

thanks all for the support your replies made me smile - yes I know i need to get a grip a bit - it just feels like he is positioning me for a face off with his mum which is the last thing i want - infact whilst i am happy for his mum to see our two children whenever she likes i would be happy never to be there when that happens. but i get the feeling both he and his mother want me there (in my paranoid mind to make me a scapegoat for something which is nowt to do with me)

Tell him he has four options well five if you include a divorce.

1. He sleeps alone on floor and you have the single.
2. MIL and GF go to B and B.
3. He buys a sofa bed.
4. You go to your parents.

I don't really understand the DD/DS stuff.

bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 15:13:08

DD is at school hence easter holidays, DS is at nursery so has year round childcare. MIL has not really looked after them before partly due to distance and partly due to animosity between me and her although the more i think about it the more i think unresolved issues between DH and her which I dont want to be in any way involved in

whattheholyfeck Fri 14-Mar-14 15:14:19

I urge you to leave them to get on with it. Go and stay elsewhere. Your parents, a hotel, a friend house. Go and enjoy some me time!!

bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 15:16:21

MrsTerryPratchett if i ignore the divorce issue then staying with him involves a softly softly approach of trying to get DH to grow up and emotionally detach himself from the emotional blackmailing he went through when his parents divorced and his not particularly healthy relationship with his mum. To be honest I dont want the role of helping him become more independent of his mum - I would like him just to be more independent of his mum but he is not so aside from totally removing myself from the picture (my preferred option) i have to somehow feature in it especially if he wont make bloody obvious choices himself

bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 15:17:10

whattheholyfeck you express my strong preference. i also like your chatname

ChasedByBees Fri 14-Mar-14 15:28:55

So he creates a problem then shouts at you when it's a problem? And suggests you should be the one to suffer most discomfort because of the problem he's created?

Hmm.

I'm shocked that you're even considering sleeping on the floor. This is his problem that he created. He gets to solve it. He has no right to shout at you, ever.

Aeroflotgirl Fri 14-Mar-14 15:30:38

Mabey you need to op, go to your parents and leave em to it. Why does he need you there, so he can insult you some more. It does not sound like he respects you, there seems to be some deep ishoos you need to address.

whattheholyfeck Fri 14-Mar-14 15:31:51

grin

What is stopping you from doing it? (do it, do it, do it!)

Imagine: some time away from a shouty/blamey DH, his vile mother, and (I know this sounds harsh) even the kids...to spend time with your friends, your parents or just yourself. Sounds like it would do you the world of good. If you are anything like me, you will be a bag of nerves and stress for the entire time they stayed. Don't put yourself through it.

FWIW, I wouldn't want to be the one to help him become independent from his mum either. I think that's very sensible of you. You wouldn't want to be dragged into it / blamed if it all goes wrong or if it all gets too much for DH. He needs to do this himself (if he ever does). And it might do you good to detach yourself from the whole thing.

Don't let the bastards get you down thanks good luck

Aeroflotgirl Fri 14-Mar-14 15:31:52

I agree chased, you sound like you are being walked all over by him.

Cerisier Fri 14-Mar-14 15:47:57

I am another one who doesn't give up her bed for anyone.

You and DH should stay in your bed and you should buy a sofa bed for MIL and GF. If they don't like it, they are welcome to use a B&B. Or you can ask your parents or take leave. You have plenty of options.

Be firm and calm. Repeat to DH as necessary. He can tell MIL the plan. It is kind of her to come and help but lack of space means you can only offer her a sofabed.

You are not a 20 year old, you have to go to work each morning and you deserve a decent night's sleep. You need to be able to get to your clothes and I'm guessing you don't want MIL rooting through your drawers, so don't give up your room.

HermioneWeasley Fri 14-Mar-14 16:11:40

Your husband is completely disrespectful of you and your wishes, as well as controlling with money. Does he have any good points?

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Fri 14-Mar-14 16:17:29

Do not sleep on the floor for a woman that openly dislikes you, your words!

That's called a doormat in my house

LIZS Fri 14-Mar-14 16:18:43

maybe they'd prefer to stay in a b and b ?

dancingnancy Fri 14-Mar-14 16:36:32

Op - you haven't answered why he gets the bed and you get the floor?

rumbleinthrjungle Fri 14-Mar-14 17:36:48

Life is too short for this kind of crap. I wouldn't discuss it further, I'd just buy a sofa bed. You say he's going to hate that..... why?

notapizzaeater Fri 14-Mar-14 17:43:17

If dh wants To be the big family man let him on the floor ! Bet he soon comes round to the idea of a sofa bed.

Zucker Fri 14-Mar-14 17:48:39

Just get the sofabed, what would your husband do if you did that OP? When he has his hissy fit tell him to fuck right off and have a long hard think about his reactions. If he still thinks its reasonable to rant at his wife over a sofabed YOU need to think about some things I reckon.

How ridiculous to even be thinking you should sleep on the floor and he gets the single bed. Is he the queen of fucking sheeba fgs.

MistressDeeCee Fri 14-Mar-14 18:00:03

Im bewildered by this situation. Talk about making a molehill into a mountain..I suppose there's something else behind it. Control issues, I'd guess. Honestly OP do yourself a favour just buy the sofabed - is he going to stand at the door shouting at delivery men to dump it outside? If he won't buy the sofabed then MIL & her man can stay at b&b can't they? I bet the GF would prefer it anyway. You seem to have a lot to say about this GF& all he does for your MIL. Good for her, though..if your man isnt that lovely to you then thats what you have to look at, and deal with.

I wouldnt even get into why your man is saying you should sleep on the floor, its ridiculous beyond words. Buy the bed - or take time off work & do the childcare duties yourself. What I suspect is that he will find a way to 'punish' you for taking this option. Only you know how best to deal with that.

What is it today? The more I read this relationship board the more I get the sneaky feeling there are many women living with men, that the vast majority of women wouldn't even let past their front door.

The day I sleep on the floor for a man will be the day hell is iced over. OP stand up for yourself - tell him you arent sleeping on the floor, and HE will have to find another way of dealing with this. Load of nonsense..he shouldnt even be causing you to have to think about this. Wonder what your MIL & her GF would say if they knew?

Jux Fri 14-Mar-14 18:22:06

Honestly, just go away for a week. Have a nice time.

Gennacy Fri 14-Mar-14 18:44:33

So the MiL is comfortable sharing a bed with the gf? (and vice versus)?
Good luck getting it all sorted out.

whattheholyfeck Fri 14-Mar-14 19:18:58

Mistress, I have to say your post made me chuckle !

greenfolder Fri 14-Mar-14 19:44:37

Mountain

Molehill

He has offered to go to local bb

Say yes, that would work

Stop agonising

missingwelliesinsd Fri 14-Mar-14 20:11:28

Your DH sounds extremely annoying, you must have the patience of a saint to deal with him (I'm actually wondering why you're with him but that's not my business).

I'd never give up my bed for guests, I always make reasonable accommodations for guests but I draw the line at giving up my own bed. The thought of someone who isn't me, my DH (or our dog) sleeping on my bed seems icky to me, I can't help. Probably stems from some mildly traumatic memories of having to give up my bed for my cigarette smoke-infested GM as a kid.

Clutterbugsmum Fri 14-Mar-14 21:45:03

Buy yourself a sofa bed or EZ bed and make him sleep on the floor.

Kewcumber Fri 14-Mar-14 21:58:00

"I am too old to sleep on the floor so this is my solution...

I will sleep on the spare (single) bed for 4 nights in the week and then go to my mums for a couple of nights to leave you and your mum have a lovely time bonding with each other and the children. Enjoy the floor "

Jux Fri 14-Mar-14 22:38:10

What Kewcumber said. Put your foot down. Do not sleep on the floor. If he thinks it's OK for anyone to sleep on the floor then it's OK for him to do so.

diamondlizard Fri 14-Mar-14 23:09:18

I wouldn't have someone to stay if they openly said they didn't like me

Esp,not to look after my dc no way

EurotrashGirl Fri 14-Mar-14 23:11:02

I must say, I reaaaaalllly don't see what the issue is here. MIL & GIF said they are going to book in to a B&B. Why not just let them do that? Your DH is creating a problem where there is none.

MistressDeeCee Fri 14-Mar-14 23:13:29

whattheholyfeck

OPs DP and his big girl's blouse shenanigans made me want to say...

"whattheholyfeck?!!!" grin

OP Im not really laughing at your situation though. Your DPs disrespect of you is massive and yes I do feel he wants to create some kind of confrontation between you & MIL. Or maybe let her see you sleeping on the floor as some kind of weird proof that he prefers her, to you? Just wild guesses I suppose but honestly, some men should never leave home. They want to hang off the apron strings for the rest of their natural. They're a trial to any woman who takes them on. Actually did his DM openly and directly say to you 'I dont like you' or did he in convenient shit-stirring fashion tell you she doesn't like you?

If you said 'OK then' to his request to sleep on the floor - would he really be happy with that? for his DM, her GF, & your DCs to know this?

Put your foot down! & then go off to your mum's for a peaceful week. I assume if you stay home you will of course be expected to run around after your guests? Sod that, I'd be off...catch me if you can..

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi Fri 14-Mar-14 23:15:14

I wouldn't give up my bed for anyone

Decide what you are happiest doing and then do that, it sounds like you have been way too accommodating for way too long

Normally compromise is so important in a relationship but not if it only ever goes one way. His wants do not ever trump yours even if he shouts and strops about it

Jenny70 Sat 15-Mar-14 01:56:01

My MIL has similar domestic situation, has a wealthy GF but she refuses to marry him and keeps separate house and finances, but he pays for lots of their shared activities.... she and her GF are both lovely, but they never stay with us, GF isn't comfortable with that, even though we have the beds etc. They always stay at a hotel - and that works just fine. He can afford it and everyone has a bit of space etc. MIL on her own will stay with us, but the two of them prefer a comfortable bed, own bathroom and not being harrassed by 3 children all the time!

I would say to DH that chances are GF would prefer the B&B, and MIL can spend some nights in the single at yours and some at B&B... no drama at all.

JessieMcJessie Sat 15-Mar-14 02:06:11

I'd lay a large bet that no way on earth does the wealthy, non-paternal GF want to stay in your home - has anyone actually asked him if he would prefer to stay at yours? Your DH is making ridiculous assumptions and all this needs is for the GF to tell him firmly "Thanks but no thanks" to the offer.

Atbeckandcall Sat 15-Mar-14 03:38:51

Okaaaaaayyyy...........

Firstly I'd like to apologise for the bullet points but it's 3.30am and I can't sleep but my brain has semi shut down.

1. I wouldn't have anyone in my house who actively dislikes me to stay for more than a couple of hours.
2. I wouldn't have anyone look after my children for any amount of time if the disliked me. Not that I wouldn't trust them necessarily, just more ammunition for them to stack up against you.
3. If MIL & GF are happy to go a b&b, let them. They may want a bit of nookie anyway.
4. Nobody, other than me or DH (dd for morning cuddles) gets into my bed. It's my bed. It's like using someone else's towel, just wrong.
5. If my DH had suggested that I should sleep on the floor whilst he got a bed to sleep in with all the other facts laid bare, well, he had better learn to like sleeping in the car, and quickly.

Woman up OP, you don't deserve that sort agro.

wowfudge Sat 15-Mar-14 06:44:49

How much does your DH think of you if he has suggested you sleep on the floor, or was he being sarky because you don't have room for everyone?

If he became shouty after speaking to GF this suggests to me that he doesn't like GF because of his own relationship with his DM and/or rather than taking GF at his word about the B&B he has chosen to interpret that as you must find room for GF in your home. He needs to listen to what people actually say and stop putting his own spin on it.

Stick with what was agreed originally and don't buy a bloody sofa bed unless you have plenty of other opportunities to use it for other visitors.

NewtRipley Sat 15-Mar-14 07:05:04

You DH sounds like a twat

And maybe they want to stay in a B&B?

Bornin1984 Sat 15-Mar-14 07:20:31

So your dh is blackmailing u with money ishoooos and tells u that ure sleeping on the floor - how long do u plan on being "abused" by him? Is that what he doing??

If your dh is such a wet tosspot why don't u speak to mil directly and ask her what she wants to do, or te her she's welcome for the visit but u don't need to babysit and her and gf can please themselves during visit and stay in n&b!!

Op you are an adult, if you want to buy a sofa bed go buy one!

TheGreatHunt Sat 15-Mar-14 07:24:41

Your dh shouts at you a lot.

What a catch.

I wouldn't have had the Mil do this - you had other options so why did you chose this one?

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 15-Mar-14 08:10:18

Maybe gf wants to stay in a b&b and not get woken up early everyone inf

So

Mil sleeps in single bed - gf in b&b
Both stay in b&b
Get a sofa bed
Buy cheap blow up bed from Argos and kids sleep on it

No way would I be sleeping on the floor if dp suggested that to me - he can have the floor of need be

You are making this complicated for no reason

puntasticusername Sat 15-Mar-14 08:26:08

I bet OP's "D"H is arguing that he needs the single bed because he's got a bad back or something.

So tell him it's better for his bad back if he sleeps on the floor!

Otherwise, I support the b&b solution - it sounds as if it may well be the option your guests would genuinely prefer, and would be best for you all.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 15-Mar-14 08:40:37

I agree, does your h always treat you like that! Tbh I would put 2 options to him, B&B or you go to your parents! floor noway! I really doubt GF wants to spend tge night in a noisy cramped house, with not much privacy. That's probably why he suggested a B&B.

bubbles11 Tue 18-Mar-14 17:00:45

thanks all for your replies which really helped me
the outcome happily is that GF has booked the next door B&B. I am expecting to be blamed by MIL that it is my fault that GF is paying money but I am going to try to ignore this "logic" often deployed by my inlaw family. Thank you again for all posts which helped me and gave me clarity xx

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