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AIBU To twant a break from dogs some day.

(89 Posts)
FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 20:36:59

I love dogs. I truely do. And i have one, And i love him and would never part with him. I have been around dogs all my life.

BUT I have never had to be home so much with one (Previously they were mums dogs, and when i was a single parent living on my own my dog went to my mums sometimes if i was working etc so i got a break).

I just can't take it anymore. The mouth noises drive me up the wall. I want the scream and break things every time i hear it. I smashed my laptop up over it once. Literally. Its behind the TV with a smashed up screen and the harddrive files are all unsalvagable. (Yes i know i have a problem with noises) The smells. The hair. Staring at me STOP FUCKING STARING AT ME. Snaffling food off the floor if the kids drop some. Staring at people for food as though i starve him.

It just feels suffocating.

As i said i would never part with him. He is getting on a bit (He's 7, lab x ridgeback). But when he does pass i don't want another.

OH wants to have a St Bernard. "For the kids to grow up with" my arse. He would buy one tomorrow if we could afford it (He's not like, planning for Bs death or anything he's wanted one for ages).

AIBU To say absolutely not, i want a break. Ive had dogs dogs and more dogs for 24 years now. My mum had lots of dogs when i was little. I don't ever remember having less than 3 dogs growing up.

I might want another one day, But definitely not now, not if we had all the money in the world. We have one dog. I don't want another and even when he is no longer with us, not then either.

Cthulu Fri 07-Mar-14 20:40:40

Gosh. Are you sure you love dogs? Really?

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 07-Mar-14 20:41:28

Yabu.

Rehome the dog.

It would be better for both you and the dog.

squoosh Fri 07-Mar-14 20:44:20

You smashed your laptop up because the dog was making mouth noises? That's not normal behaviour OP.

AphraBane Fri 07-Mar-14 20:52:49

It sounds like you're saying you love dogs, you truly do, etc because that was your experience of love at home when you were growing up (a home full of dogs) - so you just don't know life any differently. But what you're experiencing is so far from normal pet owning behaviour - for your sake and the dog's you have to rehome soon. perhaps you can find a home with someone you know so that you can still visit the dog every so often for a short period, or even commit to taking the dog back for holiday care only. Once you know your relationship with the dog is temporary, you'll be much less tense at seeing him.
Under the circumstances it would also be very unwise to get a St Bernhard (who make pretty large 'mouth noises' when they want to, despite being the mildest mannered of dogs) until you've thoroughly explored why you feel the need to take on an animal you actually can't tolerate in practice. Best of luck with that process.

BrownSauceSandwich Fri 07-Mar-14 20:59:16

Christ! Smashing stuff up isn't a normal reaction to anything. Are you sure that the dog is the problem, or do you need a bi of help dealing with your stress levels?

youbethemummylion Fri 07-Mar-14 20:59:59

You either have unresolved anger issues and the dog is a scapegoat or you dont like dogs. Either way its not fair on the dog.

softlysoftly Fri 07-Mar-14 21:02:23

Yeah I think you shouldn't get another dog <<backs away slowly>>

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:04:10

Squoosh I know its not. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia << Explanation. I did say i know i have a problem.

Not sure why i would rehome him. I love him for him. I just want a break some day but OH wants another one. I've never hurt the dog and he's well looked after.

BrownSauceSandwich Fri 07-Mar-14 21:04:51

Ps. I think it would be an awful idea to get another dog now. Kids and dogs is a tough combination, so everybody has to really committed to it. No guessing at this stage whether you should get another dog ever, but I think you've got issues closer to home to deal with first.

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:05:36

Aphra I know StBs make big noises. Thats one of the reasons im against having one! I couldn't take it. I'd have to leave.

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:07:31

And everytime i try to talk to anyone about this they just treat me like im awful and that B would be better off away from me. But ive not done anything to him. He's so well looked after, He's happy, He's got a better life than most dogs.

I don't understand why my feelings make me such a bad person. I can't help the noise thing its so horrible.

Its not only the dog that triggers it though. A few things do. People trigger it too, i can't eat in resteraunts etc because i just end up sat there with clenched teeth.

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:08:54

And i dont get tense at seeing him. I spend lovely time with him, i take him on runs etc. The noise is the main problem. Which i cant hear when im outside because i wear ear muffs near enough all the time because the cold weather hurts my ears so badly.

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:10:13

All my other half ever does is brush it off too and shows me pictures of st bernards and yes they're beautiful dogs. Gorgeous things. I love seeing them.

But imagining one in my house and all i can see if that huge, sloppy mouth.

It's fucking depressing me.

YellowTulips Fri 07-Mar-14 21:10:27

You should not get another dog and should consider if you can re-home the one you have.

I'm not a dog lover I admit. I can't stand the stench in friends homes who have dogs or the hair everywhere.

I think people just must get immune to it and/or lazy about keeping the animal clean and regular vacuuming.

You sound really unhappy tbh. I know I am likely to get flamed but I just don't think a family pet is worth the angst you are clearly going through and I suspect the dog can pick up on your tension. I think you both might be better off with a different arrangement.

RandomMess Fri 07-Mar-14 21:14:52

Can you have an outdoor kennel for your dog in the garden so he can go out there sometimes so you can have a break from him? It may help knowing that you can have an hour in your own home without having to cope with the feelings he triggers?

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:15:45

I dont want to re home him, i dont hate him. He's lovely. I wouldnt rehome an animal just because i dont like a noise.

I just dont want anymore. I want him to be my last one. I dont believe another dog could be as well behaved as him either or as good a family dog.

Its just my stupid issues and everyone implies im some sort of horrible animal abuser for it and im not i love him but i just can't take another 12 years of it when he does pass away but OH brushes it off like im just being silly. I dont like the noise etc and it does horrible things to my mind but i will be devastated to lose him as a dog when the time does come.

pmgkt Fri 07-Mar-14 21:15:52

I can fully understand how you feel, and I know others will flame me for that. But I was/am the same. We have 2 cavaliers which was fine before kids but I think part of it is a change in priorities from dog to kids. I have other friends who are also honest enough to admit this. Anyway I so understand the staring thing it really really bugs me, can't I have a few moments that aren't being watched!!! I agree with others, don't get any more dogs for a while, I won't be!

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:17:09

RM - In the summer he spends about 3/4 of the day outside (His choice, i leave the door open for him). He loves being outside (Hence why he comes on all my runs as well as his normal walks, he gets upset if i leave him behind).

In the winter he just cries though especially if its raining he hates the rain.

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:22:51

I can cope with B its the thought of another that makes me want to cry. The staring thing does bug me, but apart from the noise the things that bug me was mostly meant to be a bit tongue in cheek. They dont bother me to the point im stressed 24/7. Everyone in this house seems to stare at me pm so yeah i just want not to be watched lol.

The noise is weird. It's like, short bursts. IT's not a prolonged temper. I go all cold and the hairs on my arms stand up and i just want to hit something. It's short but very intense.

The laptop is the only thing i broke, i walked off to go upstairs and chucked my laptop down forgetting (We'd just moved) that it was solid tile. Not nice soft carpet anymore (I usually chuck something at the floor to relieve the symptoms, i have a rubber thing now).

RandomMess Fri 07-Mar-14 21:23:15

sad no chance a large waterproof outdoor kennel would make him happier to be outside?

I can understand the feelings of claustrophobia almost, like when my dc were all much younger it all just feels a bit intense at times.

Logg1e Fri 07-Mar-14 21:23:28

I don't think it's the dog's best interest to stay with you. They are a full time commitment, as you're now discovering with a dog you don't share responsibility for with your mum.

Sounds like you want to be a dog owner for the nice bits and ship him off to someone else's for the rest of the time.

I don't think you're suited to the grind and monotony of pet ownership. I would consider rehoming. although how anyone can find looking after a dog more onerous than a kid is beyond me

snowpo Fri 07-Mar-14 21:24:11

I can understand where you're coming from. I've always had dogs and never wanted to be without one. We currently have a Springer that we found dumped on the roadside in Ireland 7yrs ago.
I found that when the kids came along (now 3 and 4yrs) my ability to adore the dog and dote on him him disappeared. He became something else that needed my attention and my time and basically the kids took priority.

Having to drag the kids out in the cold and rain in the middle of winter to give him a decent walk was horrible. If someone had offered him a guaranteed lovely home I would have let him go.
I often shout at him for following me round the house - it drives me crazy, he won't stay in one place. He constantly wants attention. And the hair and the dust and licking the floor - bleuggh! I often think if my teenage self could see me now I'd be mortified. I do feel really sorry for him but thankfully my DH gives him cuddles.

How old are your kids though? I am now definately finding dog owning a bit easier when my DC's are at school/nursery. I'm actually starting to enjoy taking him for walks on my own again.

FlockOfTwats Fri 07-Mar-14 21:24:51

No he just sits by the door. We have to push him out to get him to have a wee when its raining, he wees dead quick and shoots back to the door and immediately cries to come in (Or opens the door himself if i've left the handle down).

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