To not send dd to preschool?

(43 Posts)
BananaPie Thu 06-Mar-14 21:03:21

Dd is three, so I think could start preschool this sept.

She's in nursery three days a week while I work, and is in the preschool room there. Everyone keeps asking me which preschool she'll be going to, but I'm planning just to keep her in nursery and enjoy my two days with her on my non working days.

In NI if that makes any difference. Preschool seems to be more of a "thing" here than it does in England.

Am I setting her back for life?

littlebluedog12 Thu 06-Mar-14 21:06:12

That's just what I did with DD1- it was so lovely having 2 full days to do what we liked instead of rushing to preschool every morning!

DD is 3.9 and doesn't go to preschool - she has 2 days at nursery and 3 days with family.

It's a bit different in our house and me and DH both work full time, so preschool hours would have caused us more hassle and expense. DD is settled into her nursery/family routine, so it didn't seem worth changing it for the sake of her wearing a preschool uniform.

moonriverandme Thu 06-Mar-14 21:11:06

In England it seems the other way round, that if your child is at Pre-School people ask if they're going to Nursery. You and your daughter will enjoy your 2 days together, she will be in full time school soon enough. Have a lovely time. YANBU.

Lucylouby Thu 06-Mar-14 21:14:26

My dd only does 4 mornings and people are shocked that we are losing three hours of funding each week. I don't care if we are losing it. I wouldn't want her doing full days and I love having a day we can go out and do stuff without nursery getting in the way. There is plenty of time for education once they are in school full time. Enjoy your time with your daughter while you can, three days a week in a good nursery will be giving her all she needs from a childcare setting.

Ziggyzoom Thu 06-Mar-14 21:16:19

Pre-school, in England at least, doesn't have to be 5 days. DD's went to the one on the site of the primary school they are now at. They just went for 2/3 days and it worked well for the transition.

But, do what you want!

This is what I plan to do either Ds. He spend 3 days a with a lovely cm where he socialises with other children and does loads of activities. He's developing brilliantly and see no reason to change his routine until I have to.

maddening Thu 06-Mar-14 21:18:02

preschool/nursery what's the difference? ds goes full time to a preschool as it was better than any nurseries round me except for the nurseries which cost 50% more than I pay for 8-6 at preschool.

the only advantage would be going to the preschool attached to the school the dc is most likely to attend so they make friends with dc they may be in school with but if they don't offer wrap-round care that would fit with your work then a nursery local to the school would likely have dc which would move up to reception with your dc.

CrohnicallyFarting Thu 06-Mar-14 21:18:48

I think so long as they are going to some form of childcare/early education then it's fine. I work in a school, and not only is it hard for the children to be separated from their parents all day if they've never been apart before, they also need to learn to share the teacher's attention and get along with other children. I don't think it really matters if it's daycare or nursery or preschool, they are often used interchangeably anyway (eg my DD's day nursery offers preschool sessions, yet a nursery can be attached to a school so isn't that technically a preschool?)

maddening Thu 06-Mar-14 21:19:47

and if I was home 2 days then my ds would be with me - I might consider a morning on one of the days so I could blast the cleaning and have the other 3.5 days to spend with ds and having fun.

starlight1234 Thu 06-Mar-14 21:20:46

No enjoy your child..honestly you will never regret spending ime with your they grow

hiccupgirl Thu 06-Mar-14 21:25:01

My DS does exactly that - 3 days at nursery while I work and 2 days at home with me. He starts school this September and I am treasuring the 2 days a week I have him all to myself now because soon he'll be gone Mon-Fri.

I decided not to expect him to get used to a second setting and most weeks he does 25-28 hours a week at nursery anyway which is close to a full school week already.

Smartiepants79 Thu 06-Mar-14 21:29:17

My 3.5 Dd has 2 mornings in preschool. 2 days with my Mum while I work and the rest with me. I don't really want her to go anymore than that but I am starting to feel that she is missing out a little socially. I'm not sure she is forming friendships as well as she would if she was their more often. I think she is the only one who doesn't go 5 days a week.
She is going to school in September sad so in the end I think I'd rather have the time at home with her.

x2boys Thu 06-Mar-14 21:29:37

but you can use the 15 hours how you like two full days 3 hrs a day it does nt really matter.

Smartiepants79 Thu 06-Mar-14 21:30:20

Sorry there more often.

RiverTam Thu 06-Mar-14 21:34:57

pre-school is crap if you have 2 working parents. DD is in nursery 3 days a week, 8-6, and we get the relevant funding deducted from our bill. AFAIK no-one has moved their child from her nursery to pre-school. I'm not keen on them anyway as they seem to focus too much on preparing the children for school, even though many 3 year olds won't be starting school until they're pushing 5, so they have 2 years of this.

QueenofKelsingra Thu 06-Mar-14 21:42:50

generally here SAHPs use pre-schools (often attached to the school of their choice) and working parents use nurseries/CMs for the longer hours.

tbh I think it is more about having time to interact with their peers and learn the beginnings of school skills and social skills away from the parents and both settings offer this. use whichever suits.

DS does the 2 and a half days that is funded, we cant afford for him to do more, so he gets plenty of time home with me and his siblings too. all about balance.

soverylucky Thu 06-Mar-14 21:44:21

It never entered my head to take mine out of nursery and into pre school. They did three days a week at nursery. That was plenty. What would have been the difference?

arethereanyleftatall Thu 06-Mar-14 21:45:01

I know not everyone can do this, but one of the reasons I stopped working when DD was 2.5 was so that she could attend the preschool near us when she was 3 for 3 hours per day, then with me for the rest.
the major difference for me us that preschool has a 'proper' teacher, whereas nursery (the one near me, not all!) Was basically just teenagers.

DD went three days a week, I've upped it to four for this term as she starts primary one after the school holidays.
I work weekends and loved the two days I had her all to myself. (y'know mostly)They get swallowed up into the school system all too soon. Enjoy them being small for as long as you can.

BananaPie Thu 06-Mar-14 22:03:45

Thanks, that's all very reassuring! I think the free 15 hours is different in NI than in England (we'll miss out on it by keeping her in nursery). But as others have said, preschool doesn't really work as childcare - we'd have to pay for wrap around care on the days I work.

I do take the point about proper teachers vs. teenagers working in nurseries, but I'm pretty happy with what she's being taught at nursery at the moment.

edwinbear Thu 06-Mar-14 22:03:54

DD and DS used to go to a nursery near my work. When DS started school they both left nursery and started with a local CM who does the school runs/wrap around care for DS and looks after DD for the entire day. We will continue with that arrangement until DD joins her brother at school. With DH and I both working long hours, and the CM doing one other school run to a different school, the logistics of starting DD in a pre-school on top would be enough to make me spontaneously combust.

bobot Thu 06-Mar-14 22:05:37

I'm confused by the terms here - I understand "pre-school" as being a part time class within a school for children aged 3-4, and "nursery" as being a childcare setting from birth - school age? That's how the terms are used round here, is it different in different parts of the country. Either way, I send my dd to a class within a school but only 2 mornings a week.

edwinbear Thu 06-Mar-14 22:05:58

Just to add, DS only ever went to nursery, then straight to school last September. He is a late August child so youngest in his year, and is getting on absolutely fine, no problems at all.

morethanpotatoprints Thu 06-Mar-14 22:08:17

Hello OP

None of mine went to nursery, pre school and dc3 doesn't go to school.
They have all turned out fine.
I don't buy this one size fits all assumption at all.
You do what's right for you and what suits your opinion and values.

TamerB Thu 06-Mar-14 22:10:10

It really doesn't matter- do what suits you.

spiderlight Thu 06-Mar-14 22:14:10

My DS never went to preschool. He did two mornings at nursery from 2.5, rising to three mornings from 3.5, and positively thundered into school at 4.5 without any problems whatsoever. He was perhaps slightly behind some of his peers in terms of pencil control and number formation in his first couple of months of Reception, but was in the 'more able and talented' group by the second term and has never looked back. I'm very glad I had those precious days with him before he started school, to tootle around and look at diggers and throw sticks into streams.

MaryWestmacott Thu 06-Mar-14 22:24:12

DS does his preschool at nursery - if they are doing the Early Years Curriculm then your DD is getting all she'd get at preschool there. The 15 hours free thing works out at 5 half day sessions, if she's at nursery 3 days a week then she's getting 6 half day sessions, so don't feel she's missing out. The answer to enquiries is "oh, she's doing preschool at [name of nursery]"

One word of causion, you might find that everyone else you know is doing 5 half days rather than any full days, this means that on the days you have DD on your own, there's not much going on for her age group. I really noticed that when we went to groups in the mornings of DS's non-nursery days, there were now no DCs my DS's age there and most classes (sports etc) for his age group are in the afternoons now, as most half day pre-schools are in the mornings.

Twilightsparklesmama Thu 06-Mar-14 22:37:28

My DDs preschool offers 2 sessions a day with the option of them staying for lunch. My DD does the 2 sessions two days a week and just the morning session one day a week. All the children who are there in the afternoon have been there since the morning so the afternoon session is tailored to that.

My DD was in nursery for 6 months before Pre school as I went back to work. I do think that the Pre school is a better foundation to prepare for school. It runs in sessions whereas the nursery had children starting /leaving at all different times, all the children are a similar age and it is connected to the infant school she will be going to.

This works great for me as I have her all day on my days off

Has made school holidays a PITA a year earlier though.

RiverTam Thu 06-Mar-14 22:39:59

there are no teenagers at DD's nursery - all fully, or partly and attending college, qualified in early years. No actual teachers though, which I'm glad about - time enough for teaching when she starts school!

Purplepoodle Thu 06-Mar-14 22:44:24

Only problem that could come up is that you might not get her into the primary if your choice as some give their p1 places to the children that attended their nursery. This happen to us and we only managed to get a place as 2 kids dropped out and dc was on the preschool waiting list so fitted the criteria more,

wigglesrock Thu 06-Mar-14 22:44:59

Do you mean you mean sending her somewhere now before she starts nursery school in September or do you mean not sending her to nursery school in Sept but keeping her in the private nursery she's in now?

I'm in NI too & have a 3 year old, I'm just not really sure what exactly you mean.

I know lots of kids who went from their daycare into P1, they were grand.

Purplepoodle Thu 06-Mar-14 22:47:44

Preschool here is a group run by someone with an early years degree.
Nursery has to be run by a qualified teacher. They are funded differently but teach the same age children and provide the same service. Daycare is also called nursery but the term day care is more accurate.

Purplepoodle Thu 06-Mar-14 22:50:09

Check out what your chosen schools entry criteria is. If your not in a city then it won't matter but it's murder getting 1st choice primary places in Belfast.

RiverTam Thu 06-Mar-14 22:54:07

in England attendance at the school's nursery/pre-school class has no bearing on whether or not you'll get into the primary school (or at least it's not meant to, though as they ask what nursery your child is at on the form, I guess it may well do!).

RiverTam Thu 06-Mar-14 22:54:47

oh, sorry, just saw OP is in NI, ignore me!

PicaK Thu 06-Mar-14 22:56:24

Funny - my understanding is that a preschool will stick to the EY curriculum, so mark making not writing etc. The nursery kids have been pushed more to write etc. Our preschools are completely separate to a school.

Ghostsdonttalk Thu 06-Mar-14 22:56:57

I would check If the primary you want has a nursery unit. We are in rural NI Dd went to preschool and then went in P1 as one of 26. The other 25 had been to nursery in the school together. She settled in fine but thats hard for a 4 yr old.

wigglesrock Thu 06-Mar-14 23:05:11

The forms for applying to nursery schools had to be to the first choice nursery school by the second week in January. Places have been like hens teeth over the past few years. I'm in Belfast so that might be very localised, but three years ago when my second daughter was applying children were being offered places twenty miles away.

Sharaluck Thu 06-Mar-14 23:20:59


That sounds like a nice balance smile

I think it would be confusing for a 3 year old to have to get used a nursery as well as a preschool with completely different routines/carers.

NoodleOodle Thu 06-Mar-14 23:45:00

Do what pleases you, you don't have to send her anywhere. If you enjoy spending more time with her and teaching her yourself, when she's a little older, have you considered not registering her at school and home educating ?

BananaPie Fri 07-Mar-14 09:52:12

Thanks. By nursery I mean day care, and I meant keeping her in day care until she goes to school. They're qualified in early years education, so I think it should be fine. Good point about the age range at mums and tots groups that I take her to if everyone else her age is in preschool next year.

Home education isn't on the cards at all - I can't see any advantages in that!

WaitMonkey Fri 07-Mar-14 09:58:24

My pre schooler doesn't go to nursery or pre school. Everyone judge's that. But we go to lot's of groups, meet up with friend's, do lots of activities outside the home and have lot's of fun in the house. People still think I'm stunting his development though. hmm You can't win in my opinion. Stick to what you and your lo enjoy.

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