To expect a 5 year old not to bite me.

(66 Posts)
Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 12:06:14

A five year old dog yh I could accept. Wouldn't be happy of course but maybe understand. A five year old child though. Aibu in expecting his parent to at least tell him off. Not laugh and say oh he's so bad tempered. He bit my bloody hand so hard it drew blood and I think I might want a tetanus. I knew there was a reason I don't like children. This is one of them. Really though to be serious I'm not wrong to expect him to be disciplined am I ? Oh and the reason for the bite. Because he wanted a camera to play with. A four hundred pound camera that doesn't belong to me. I said no. He bit me. I should add I've known this little boy for all his life and I don't think he has any special needs. Although if he had I'm not saying he should be able to go round biting people. That's him struck off the xmas list.

What, if anything, did his parents say? Is he a relative?

Edendance Fri 28-Feb-14 12:12:05

Oh wow! You can't really blame the child though, it sounds like the parents don't really worry about it or deal with it. If it broke the skin then do get it checked with the dr re tetanus.

DidoTheDodo Fri 28-Feb-14 12:13:29

Human bites are far more dangerous than dog bites owing to the large amount of bacteria we have in our mouths.

Biting is unacceptable - to draw blood utterly unacceptable, the parents reaction beyond unacceptable.

I wouldn't be seeing this child again in the foreseeable future.

ShabbyChic8 Fri 28-Feb-14 12:23:00

I agree Edendance. It is not the kind of behaviour I'd expect from a five yo but if that's the parents' attitude then you can't blame the child for doing it. I have had similar issues in the past with my sis and my nephews. I have disciplined them at the time (as in demanded an apology and explained why) but it's just a drop in the ocean when my sis lets them do as they please the rest of the time. I can understand things happen, children aren't perfect but if parents were apologetic then it wouldn't have been so frustrating.

ForgettableTampon Fri 28-Feb-14 12:28:14

how upsetting for you

yes human bites can be quite horrible, medically speaking; see your GP, get it looked at

Chippednailvarnish Fri 28-Feb-14 12:35:33

I'd be telling the parents that they are a disgrace and dropping them like a hot stone. You need to see your GP.

LoonvanBoon Fri 28-Feb-14 12:40:12

Of course YANBU - that's outrageous behaviour on the part of the child, & even more so on the part of the parents! I can't believe they thought it was funny.

Please do get medical attention, ASAP - you'll need a tetanus booster at least. My DS collided with a child once & ended up with a bite wound - accidental, in that case, but he was given both a tetanus jab & antibiotics. As other posters have said, human bites are potentially serious, & the hand is apparently one of the most dangerous places to be bitten.

Unexpected Fri 28-Feb-14 12:40:55

I think that's horrific, both the biting and the parent's response. Aged 2 might be acceptable, aged 5 not. Presumably this child is already in school and therefore has plenty of experience of learning to share, take turns, not grab other people's belongings etc. Does he normally behave like this?

However, if that response from his parent is indicative of their normal parenting style I'm not surprised he thinks this is an acceptable way to behave. I would consider emailing the parent and letting them know that you have needed a tetanus injection.

BlackeyedSusan Fri 28-Feb-14 12:42:38

ouch, poor you. it really hurts. however, I have never yet had any trouble from human bites, neither has ex, to reassure you.

the parents should have disciplined the child.

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 12:57:47

It did indeed hurt. His mum was very dismissive and said oh he's got a terrible temper. I did say to him look what you've done to aunty cravey. His response. I want the camera. I don't think they will be popping in for coffee anymore. I can't be doing with that. I also think I do need a tetanus. Happy days. I shall be calling her later after I've seen the gp and telling her if I've had to have a tetanus. I did say to her today that she should have told him off. She shrugged her shoulders and mumbled something about everyone having different standards. Which is fine but not in my house.

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 12:59:08

Also he's not a relative. But I don't see what difference that would have made to be honest.

WheelieBinThief Fri 28-Feb-14 13:10:53

Sod that. I wouldn't be seeing either child or parents again.

frogslegs35 Fri 28-Feb-14 13:13:49

Yanbu.

Different standards blush
No, it's called poor parenting. It's not acceptable that a 5 year old is going around biting people. As others have said though, you can't really blame the child if he has no discipline.

chattychattyboomba Fri 28-Feb-14 13:23:42

That's absolutely unacceptable...not sure I would have been able to restrain myself if I were attacked like this. 5 is way way way too old to be doing this! The others are right though it is the parents who are to blame. I wouldn't want to see them again or if I did I would tell the parents to explain why they think their child biting is acceptable behaviour. If they said 'it's not' I would say, I couldn't tell by your reaction! If it was my child I would be MORTIFIED.

Sallyingforth Fri 28-Feb-14 13:31:48

That is entirely unacceptable behaviour both by the child and by its mother.
I would make it very clear that the child is not be welcome in my house again. That would probably mean the mother wouldn't come either, which saves you having to ban her as well.
You said a dog bite might be acceptable. If that happened here I would certainly ban the dog as well.

YouTheCat Fri 28-Feb-14 13:32:34

Will she still be shrugging her shoulders when he's 10 and she is having the crap beaten out of her by her child?

My 19 year old still bites but he has very severe additional needs.

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 13:41:35

See cat if he had special needs then I could understand but as far as I'm aware he hasn't. He just kicks off if he can't have what he wants. She just called me and asked me how my hand was. I explained that it bloody hurts and that I am going to see gp regarding a tetanus. Her response. Oh don't be daft it wasn't that bad. I then got into what was likely to become a heated debate by asking her what she would have done if my dog had bitten her son. Well of course I would have wanted it put to sleep was her response. At which point I ended the call. And sad to say it I think also our friendship.

YouTheCat Fri 28-Feb-14 14:03:47

Do you really want to be friends with someone like that though?

If she gives any further response ask her what she will do when her precious child is over the age of criminal responsibility (10) and is still doing this. Does she think the police/school will accept 'it wasn't that bad' as some kind of excuse? She is doing her ds no favours at all.

BirthdayMuppet Fri 28-Feb-14 14:13:25

I'd have struggled not to smack/push him away tbh. One's instinctive reaction to being unexpectedly badly hurt is normally to remove yourself or the 'threat'. Anyway, you're well shot of the pair of them frankly, they don't exactly sound pleasant people. Withdraw quietly but firmly from the relationship and don't look back.

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 14:37:51

If I'm honest I did struggle not to push him away. Managed it thought. Am booked in for a tetanus in an hour. So not a happy bunny. Her husband has called mine. What with us living in the 18 century and all that. He would like my hubby to have a word as his wife is upset. My hubby calmly told him to fuck off. Lol. Oh and he also mentioned that maybe the little lad needs a muzzle. Which didn't go down very well. She won't be coming here again. I will no doubt see her put and about. Oh and joy my bar is her local. So will no doubt be seeing her in there.

YouTheCat Fri 28-Feb-14 14:41:00

Good on your dh.

You haven't done anything wrong so hold your head up in the pub.

They sound horrendous and they're certainly not doing their little boy any favours!

You're well shot!

TheWitTank Fri 28-Feb-14 14:44:02

Jesus, I would be bloody mortified if I was the parent! The pain must have been awful if he broke the skin. I could forgive the 5 year old obviously (he is 5 after all!) but the adults not apologising and laughing it off would have royally pissed me off and I too wouldn't be having them round again.

WooWooOwl Fri 28-Feb-14 14:44:48

You are better off without people like that in your life, if they let their five year old get away with biting people it's only going to get worse for them.

Floggingmolly Fri 28-Feb-14 14:49:47

You've upset his wife by remaining unamused at being bitten by a feral 5 year old? hmm. Bin the whole mad lot of them.
If he does this at school and she trots out that line, they'll probably report her for neglectful parenting.

zzzzz Fri 28-Feb-14 14:54:08

<boggle> at the husband phoning your Dh. shock grin

My life is so boring. No one ever phones Dh and tells him to control his wife. sad

DidoTheDodo Fri 28-Feb-14 14:54:13

Cravey, I love your husband! He's a keeper!

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 15:09:08

I too love my hubby. I did tell him not to get any ideas. He's not managed to control me thus far so it isn't going to happen anytime soon. Lol. I shall be holding my head high in the bar don't fret.

MajorGrinch Fri 28-Feb-14 15:14:56

Top marks for restraint!!

At least you'll have an amusing tale for dinner parties now...

Good luck with the jabs!

ADishBestEatenCold Fri 28-Feb-14 15:26:40

Is it truly awful of me to ask, will you let us know what happens when you and she next meet?

Oh, and I hope the tetanus shot isn't too painful.

kentishgirl Fri 28-Feb-14 15:31:31

My God, knowing there were no special needs, I would have whacked the little git across the room. And thrown him and his parents out.

Understandable in 2 year olds (if then disciplined by parents). 5 year old? Mental parenting. Child who will probably end up in prison. Yay them.

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 15:32:48

I have a horrid feeling that we shall be meeting tonight. We have music in the bar. They always make a point of coming out when we have a live act on. I might ask one of the staff to bite her. Lol. Then say oh sorry she gets upset when we are busy. Or failing that ask her husband to control her.

DidoTheDodo Fri 28-Feb-14 15:33:54

Is it your bar? If so, you could ban her?

YouTheCat Fri 28-Feb-14 15:34:27

Is it your bar? Can you not just ban them for being utter arseholes?

DearTeddyRobinson Fri 28-Feb-14 15:41:04

A muzzle! Haha! Love your DH grin
What a little shit and what a stupid mother. She's in for some real problems

OwlinaTree Fri 28-Feb-14 15:46:49

Wonder what would have happened if child bit his mother? Would she be so forgiving then?

Chippednailvarnish Fri 28-Feb-14 15:50:34

You need to get a huge bandage and sling, and then tell everybody that you had to have stitches grin

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 15:51:00

It is indeed my bar. I'm not banning them. No way. They spend too much money on stupid cocktails. I will not however be saving them a seat as I usually do. They can bloody well sit at the back. Childish satisfaction. Oh and I had the jab. Bloody hell tetanus jabs hurt.

Chippednailvarnish Fri 28-Feb-14 16:02:51

Then add a limp because of your poor sore bum from the tetanus jab.

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 16:08:32

Chipped I'm swinging towards the bandage at the moment lol.

Cravey Fri 28-Feb-14 16:13:39

I'm also thinking of serving jugs of a new cocktail tonight. I'm sure I can whip one up. I may well call it the muzzle. Might even send them a free jug !

DidoTheDodo Fri 28-Feb-14 16:19:12

Cocktail names...

The Jaw Dropper
The Biting Pest
Never Darken my Door

N

Peekingduck Fri 28-Feb-14 16:21:33
WilsonFrickett Fri 28-Feb-14 16:26:21

What kind of band is it? I'm sure we could help with a playlist...

Skin Deep? Cuts like a knife?

WilsonFrickett Fri 28-Feb-14 16:26:55

Fangs for the memories???

Honestly?! I think you should pat yourself on the back for staying so calm! I am never one to tell off someone else's child but had a child bitten me so hard to draw blood and a tetanus injection to be necessary I don't think I'd have been able to control the crazy in me (towards child and parent!)
Love the cocktail names grin

KrevlornswathoftheDeathwokClan Fri 28-Feb-14 18:32:21

Ha, YAsoNBU

I would have gone mental because that is my reaction to pain, she is lucky it wasn't me!

BalloonSlayer Fri 28-Feb-14 18:38:32

If they come in, go up to them and have a tantrum and declare you want something expensive they have. Snarl a bit and get pulled away by one of your staff

Staff member could then explain that you were bitten by some sort of nasty zombie creature today and they are worried you are now turning into one yourself.

just marking place because I'm dying to know what happens tonight! )and no, he shouldn't have bitten you!)

EugenesAxe Fri 28-Feb-14 20:39:04

I'm not often shock but I really, really was at this one. I applaud these things:

1) The fact you didn't swear at him; I would certainly said 'what the fuck do you think you're doing?!'

2) The fact you didn't physically restrain him or get him off you

3) The fact you own a bar

And your DH. Again, if this was my child I would go MENTAL.

hoobypickypicky Fri 28-Feb-14 20:47:21

"Oh and he also mentioned that maybe the little lad needs a muzzle."

Your husband is a true hero. I think I love him.

The child's lucky. My instinctive reaction would be to strike out as I lifted my hand away. I don't think I'd feel guilty if that's what I did either.

The mother wouldn't have left my premises without tears on her part either. What a horrible, indulgent parent. Ugh.

starlight1234 Fri 28-Feb-14 20:51:14

They sound delightful..Can see why you went round for coffee confused

Shocking behaviour of her husband.... Do wonder what on earth she had to be upset about ?

Hexbugsmakemeitch Fri 28-Feb-14 20:52:43

To be fair to the child it's not his fault, clearly he's suffering by being brought up by idiots.

God help them if he does it to another child at school? He 'll never have any friends, no one will want their children to play with him.

I have been bitten by (very, very small) children and it is excruciating and none them ever actually broke the skin.

How could you not just be mortified by your child doing this?

mrstigs Fri 28-Feb-14 20:54:18

Christ, my two year old bit me yesterday (I got in the way of an epic tantrum), it didn't even break the skin and it still hurts like hell today. A bite from a stronger 5 year old must have seriously bloody hurt! And the reaction from the parent is just shock
Hope they turn up tonight looking suitably bashful with a proper apology op.

123caughtaflea Fri 28-Feb-14 21:08:27

A six year old in a school locally bit a member of staff hard enough to bruise, but not draw blood. He was (temporarily) excluded, predictably enough. 'It wasn't that bad' would not have saved him from the exclusion at all!!!!

Cravey Sat 01-Mar-14 01:25:16

Well guys, they turned up tonight. Had a mini tantrum off mummy of the year because I hadn't saved her a table. She asked why. I kind of said oh sorry I've been busy in the office. Bathing my hand. You knw where your son bit me. She replied that it was only a nip. Her husband never said a word. So I told him to take my hubby's advice and get his kid a muzzle. It went over her head. It really did. She sat down and I sent them a jug of the new cocktail for tonite. Called the bite. Blood red. That did not go over her head. She had another mini tantrum. And said I was taking the piss. To which I replied that yes I was. Funnily enough they left after that. Not before I billed them haha. I don't think we will be seeing them again. And she is certainly not coming into my home again. It's sad for the little lad though. He's never going to know any boundaries. So so sad.

Oh my god! Only a nip?! Seriously, you must be well more restrained than me!! Only a nip!!!!! I'd have gone absolutely crazy!
Even if it was 'only a nip', children aged 5 should not be doing that!!! My three year old has never bitten anybody and I would be mortified if she did!
What a family! You are well rid!!

TheGreatHunt Sat 01-Mar-14 07:24:30

This is shocking but also the parents sound like loons. If my kid bit you I would be mortified and more than apologetic.

Tell the mum to join MN and start and AIBU.

Brilliant-well done.

DraggingDownDownDown Sat 01-Mar-14 14:44:32

Take photos of the bite incase any more comes of it in the future eg them spreading rumours about you to try and ruin your business or reputation

Also he's not a relative. But I don't see what difference that would have made to be honest.

It shouldn't make any difference. But from your description of the parents non reaction, I wondered whether this was a case of familiarity breeding contempt, and whether they'd have tripped over themselves to apologise to a friend/stranger.

Obviously since established this is not the case.

finallydelurking Sat 01-Mar-14 15:06:31

Wow just WOW. A 5 year old child that doesn't have any SEN that still goes around biting is so far beyond normal and acceptable behaviour it's not true. The parents attitude shows you exactly why he behaves like that and I feel very sorry for him, he will not do well in the school system.

Any normal parent would have apologised profusely.

Hope your hand is better soon. I know how much they hurt, i had one who was a very prolific biter as a toddler, but even she only ever bit me

Cravey Sat 01-Mar-14 21:04:01

She bought him into the bar today with a bunch of flowers. Which I accepted happily and even gave him a glass of juice. She still thinks it was ok though. She made it clear the flowers were because I seemed upset, not because he bit me. I showed him my hand and said how much he had hurt me and he seemed to grasp it. I also told him nice kids don't bite. She asked if I would reserve her a table for tomorrow afternoon. It's a bar thing. We have music every Sunday afternoon and food and stuff. I told her no sorry all gone. She will see they haven't if she's in early enough tomorrow, but I don't care it's not my problem. She seems to have no concept of what is wrong or right. I cannot be doing with her. No more coffes at mine. And no more tables saved at the front. Her perogotive not to discipline her child. Mine not to save her a table. Childish but satisfying.

Chippednailvarnish Sat 01-Mar-14 21:44:26

She sounds like the sort of mother who you see on the news saying "he's a good boy really" after the DS has violently murdered someone!
Good riddance.

brokenhearted55a Sun 02-Mar-14 14:37:19

To draw blood that wasnt just a nip. He must have dug his teeth in hard for a fair amount of time.

The hell with the parents as a reflex I probably would have hit him good and bloody hard to make him let go. Then I would have thrown them all out of my house.

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