AIBU to wish my colleague would STOP EATING for five sodding minutes?

(192 Posts)
SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:35:56

I have recently moved desks and the colleague I now sit opposite never seems to stop eating. So far as I know she has no medical conditions that mean she has to graze constantly, it seems to be a combination of liking her food and possibly boredom/habit.

It is driving me up the wall as it is just non-stop. I am learning a new system, I'm having to concentrate hard (inbetween Mumsnetting, obviously wink ) and it's all to a constant backdrop of rustle-chomp-gulp-rustle-chomp-gulp. She started eating at 09:15 this morning and has barely paused for breath since. It was the same yesterday. I've started yearning to be invited to a meeting just to get away from it, and that's saying something...


manicinsomniac Tue 25-Feb-14 15:38:26

ugh, YANBU. That would make me feel sick after a while. I have an irrational dislike of hearing other people eating. At meal times and reasonable snack times that makes me unreasonable. But all day, every day - yuck no, she is.

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 15:39:15

I can't stand noisy eaters

Also, I've never had a job where you could eat anything unless it was lunchtime or tea break.

Doesn't all the eating affect the amount of work she does?

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:43:04

<mutters darkly> She uses her PC with one hand and shovels food in with the other.

It's a very relaxed, informal office. Too cocking relaxed and informal if you ask me!

mummymeister Tue 25-Feb-14 15:47:39

aren't there any rules about eating at the desk? does she have to answer the phone?it gets right on my nerves when someone picks up and they are obviously eating. could you have a word with her or may be ask to move back to your old desk.

HollaAtMeBaby Tue 25-Feb-14 15:47:50

I would have to say something. Is she overweight?

Puzzledandpissedoff Tue 25-Feb-14 15:50:15

Look on the bright side - I used to have a colleague (I wish I was making this up but I'm not) who'd pick her nose and wipe the result under the desk shock

I really thought it was only little kids who did that ...

DomesticDisgrace Tue 25-Feb-14 15:50:49

Ugh that's disgusting, yeah I want to know if she's overweight too blush

encyclogirl Tue 25-Feb-14 15:52:41

Oh my, I couldn't cope with that. I used to have a very noisy eater next to me in my last job. Between snacking and eating breakfast and lunch and even sometimes her 'tea' at her desk. I wonder how she got any work done at all.

Everything had to be assembled too, and then there was the washing up afterwards.

It was seriously distracting!

SylvaniansKeepGettingHoovered Tue 25-Feb-14 15:52:42

oh that would make me hungry....I'm intrigued now, what sort of thing is she eating? Is she having healthy nuts/cucumber sticks/apple or is she having cake/biscuit/crisps/chocolate? Maybe she's pregnant?

ShatnersBassoon Tue 25-Feb-14 15:52:47

I used to sit opposite a man who ate all day. Often smelly food like smoky bacon crisps, and often his nose pickings and things he scratched off his scalp. He was very unusual.

GoldenBeagle Tue 25-Feb-14 15:53:32

Oh, god, is it me?

What does she eat?

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 15:56:04

I'm not sure it matters what she eats, or if she's pregnant does it? grin

The OP says she can hear 'rustle-chomp-gulp-rustle-chomp-gulp'

That's enough for me to want to drop kick small, fluffy kittens.

NoseyParker4aHusband Tue 25-Feb-14 15:56:12

I used to sit next to someone who was a regular 'grazer' as well. It was doubly annoying as she was a skinny b**ch (Me, on the other hand, only have to sniff a chocolate and I gain 10lbs) angry

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:56:24

She is overweight, the phone only rings sporadically and it's always internal - we are a 'backroom' function, not client-facing - so she doesn't seem to think it matters if she answers it while swallowing and my old desk is being used by someone else.

I find it hard to say something at present as I am the 'newcomer' to this team so don't want to come over as stroppy / awkward right from the off. Food seems to be a big 'thing' in this part of the office generally but she is far and away the worst.

Having finished a(nother) packeet of crisps and some biscuits, she has now just embarked on her second apple of the last hour.

<head-desk interface>

RiverTam Tue 25-Feb-14 15:58:56

oh my god, I have a temp next to me who has been non-stop crunching, munching, whistling and coughing. All over her desk, screen and papers. Without putting her hand over her mouth. For weeks. I don't want to have to touch anything she's been working on.

It is her last day. I am counting down the minutes.

mummymeister Tue 25-Feb-14 15:59:40

you have to say something sooner rather than later. so what if you are the newbie. even if she isn't customer facing then someone is getting the munched phone voice and it reflects badly on your department. ask her if she knows how much she eats. sorry, maybe I am too blunt for my own good.

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:59:45

packet of crisps, not a packeet, which sounds like a bag of small parrots.

She's not pregnant, by an odd coincidence she and another colleague were having a joky conversation this morning about not planning any more children.

Must away and do some work, or I'll come across as a complete hypocrite, but I'm relieved to know I'm not BU!

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 16:03:14

mummymeister I'm not usually backwards in coming forwards but she is quite scary. She is a Noo Yorker who Takes No Shit. She did a z-snap yesterday (apparently without irony). I wither and fold in the face of such �ber-confidence.

campion Tue 25-Feb-14 16:08:05

Oh no. Apples! It's obligatory (apparently) to eat one, as noisily as possible, whenever I appear in the staffroom (school), dining room, photocopying room and any other place that isn't actually a classroom. Moreover, my room technician has taken to eating her lunch in my classroom complete with bloody apple.

I only have to see someone with an apple now to find an excuse to go elsewhere.

I feel your pain, OP, I really do.

ps The proper way to eat an apple is to cut it up first! (Can you tell I'm obsessed? blush)

WipsGlitter Tue 25-Feb-14 16:11:30

Headphones. It's the only answer.

I worked with someone who ate a lot, but she was so sweet (and skinny) I didn't mind. She used to lick the foil bit of her yoghurt which made me laugh.

Quangle Tue 25-Feb-14 16:15:18

oh no! But you can't say anything - you just can't. That would make you the uptight weird one. What would you even say? Excuse me but you eat too much of your own food where I can see/hear you. But I know exactly how you feel

<remembers colleague who had a particular scraping-last-bits-of-yogurt-out-of-pot ritual that almost killed me>

eurochick Tue 25-Feb-14 16:18:47

I'm guilty of this. I'm a grazer. But I've had my own office for years. I am trying to curb it as I've just been given an office mate, but I am pregnant and so damned hungry all the time!

The sound of apple eating winds me up too though.

PhoneSexWithMalcolmTucker Tue 25-Feb-14 16:18:47

This used to be me. I was bored and had a bad attitude. I cringe at the memory tbh.

HungryHorace Tue 25-Feb-14 16:18:49

My mum does that, Quangle...death is too good for them!

TippiShagpile Tue 25-Feb-14 16:20:50

I shared an office with someone who used to lick her yoghurt pot clean. She often used to gag when she stuck her tongue right down to the bottom.

I still feel sick at the memory of it and it was 15 years ago!

PhoneSexWithMalcolmTucker Tue 25-Feb-14 16:21:39

eurochick congratulations! Am I right in thinking that it's been a bit of a journey...? Really pleased for you smile

HearMyRoar Tue 25-Feb-14 16:29:19

Oh dear, for a moment I really thought this post was about me but thankfully the person opposite me isn't new and new I think about it is unlikely to be on mumsnet. Also I don't eat sugar so definitely not me if its cake or crisp munching.

Still, I am a grazer and it genuinely never occurred to me that people might find it annoying. I am mortified I have been causing people such anguish sad

I'll have to go stand in the corridor to eat from now on.

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 16:33:17

When did we start using the phrase 'grazing' instead of constant eating?

I think it's an awful phrase and makes me think of cows.

magicstar1 Tue 25-Feb-14 16:41:38

I feel your pain. My boss and I share a desk with a thin partition and he eats non stop. He slurps, chomps and gulps everything. I know his routine perfectly...he makes tea so hot that he slurps it as he walks back to his desk, then goes back to the shelf, brings the milk to his desk and fills up the cup - why????? Then he gulps it down. He chomps two apples - one at 11.30 and one at 2.30. Eats at 9.30, 11.30, 12.45, 2.30, 4.00. He also has bad sinuses so sniffs when not eating angry

I've never detested anyone as much as that man! I've recorded it on my phone as my family didn't believe it could be as bad as it is.

PixieBumbles Tue 25-Feb-14 16:44:59

I hate noisy eaters. My boss is one (38 years old and he still hasn't learnt to eat with his mouth closed. He came into my office earlier eating a plum. Oh God, the slurping...)


WeAllHaveWings Tue 25-Feb-14 16:49:41

I have a bloke across from me who only drinks protein shakes and eats about 6 pieces of fruit a day.

So my day is a regular crunching of apples, slurping of pears etc which he does all with his mouth open.

Then he has his protein shake twice a day which he mixes in a sports type bottle at his desk and shakes for ages, then slurps his way through that over 1/2 hr.

In between all this he lets out little burps followed by sighs of relief and no pardon me.

I have made the odd comment but he's got really thick skin and no one else seems bothered.

SarahBumBarer Tue 25-Feb-14 16:50:41

I've been eating all day pretty much. I get a graze box twice a week to facilitate me "grazing" for as much of the day as possible. If anyone tried to object I think I would hurt them.

I'm pregnant though so either put up with my grazing or put up with me puking on you!

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 16:50:55

Actually this thread has just reminded me of my ex husband's friend

He wasn't a noisy eater but he used to overfill his mouth and his eyes used to bulge.

I mean they really really they were going to shoot straight out of the sockets confused

I could never bring myself to sit opposite him just in case.

vladthedisorganised Tue 25-Feb-14 16:56:59

Oh no, I used to sit opposite a bloke who did this.

It was the fact it was always cereal that got me. He must have had five bowls of cereal a day, which he never washed up, so his desk was always cluttered with dirty bowls of congealed Weetabix.

Fruit is fine in my book - even bananas which I don't much like -but not cereal, and definitely not slurping while eating cereal. His constant commentaries on how expensive his bike was didn't help.

Mind you, he was replaced by his polar opposite, who is a Loud Faster. She's Fasting. She feels a bit funny because she's Fasting, but her friend says Aloe Vera is a real help for that so she'll try that while she's Fasting.. She's lost lots of weight since she's been Fasting.. She can't have a "naughty" doughnut because she's Fasting.. She would love a sandwich but she's Fasting.. She feels generally dizzy and weak on her Fasting days, but overall she feels so much better and it's probably because of the Fasting... Ooh, she's noticed I'm having a cup of tea, she can't because she's Fasting.. Did I just cough? She used to get colds all the time but hasn't since she's been Fasting...

Not sure which is worse, really.

Waggamamma Tue 25-Feb-14 16:57:38

Oh dear...I think you might sit next to me OP.

I'm newly pregnant and the only thing that stops me puking is eating. so I've been eating all day for weeks now sad . Nobody at work knows im pg yet. I was worried about colleagues judging me for being a fatty but hadn't thought I might be annoying them.

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 16:58:04

OMG I read that as he's been replaced by a 'Loud Farter' grin

vladthedisorganised Tue 25-Feb-14 16:59:06

When she takes up the cabbage soup diet, she might be, Worra!

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 17:01:25

Vlad they both deserve a place in a very special circle of Hell.

I have sympathy - possibly through gritted teeth, but sympathy nonetheless as I am not completely heartless - for those who are staving off morning sickness through eating.

The rest of you grazers who don't have that excuse: stop it. Desist. At once. Forthwith. It's an office, not a fecking cafe.

Loud Fasting sounds even worse than Loud Parenting.

I cannot tell you how happy I am that I have my own office.

saulaboutme Tue 25-Feb-14 17:03:34

My little sis, I love her to bits, ALWAYS talks with her mouth full! She's a grown woman! I had to tell her off the the other day.

I don't know how you're going to handle this op. Hearing people eat makes me very...very...mad...

balenciaga Tue 25-Feb-14 17:08:31

ewwww that would make me feel sick

saulaboutme Tue 25-Feb-14 17:08:46

Headphones could work, though you don't want to be accused of being anti social.
Or drop very big hints, headphones go on every time her munching starts. Glare, tut, moan, confront! I don't know but it would drive me bonkers.

MummytoMog Tue 25-Feb-14 17:09:26

I would have gone absolutely insane by now. Even when I'm not pregnant, noisy eating makes me want to kill people, and constant noisy eating? DEATH.

I have limited sympathy for the MS grazers - I have morning sickness this time, it's horrible and I'm so glad I avoided it the last two times, but I'm staving it off by silent sucking on lemon candy. Or sipping coke. NOT EATING.

DidoTheDodo Tue 25-Feb-14 17:12:33

Oh god. It's me, isn't it?

Foodylicious Tue 25-Feb-14 17:14:09

I am an oversensitive nightmare.
We are quite relaxed where I work and often don't get to take breaks so we often eat whilst working.
However I was having supervision with one of my juniors and she was eating some kind of noodle cup-a-soup. It was obviously hot so she was scraping the fork with her teeth. I managed to ignore it for about a minute or 2 whilst I was thinking about how to phrase "I'm really sorry, can you not eat while we do this" next think I know I have involuntarily put my hands up to my ears and made some sort of strangled noise whilst cringing away from her!
I was really embarrassed but could do nothing but explain that it was just something that I could not deal with (just thinking about it now is putting me on edge).
This is something I have never been able to stand, usually when people do it its the odd clank and thats bad enough, but this was a proper scrape each time and AHHHHHHHH and feeling angry was all I could think.
Also cannot generally stand the sound of other people eating.

foofooyeah Tue 25-Feb-14 17:16:25

I think tomorrow you should keep us updated with what she is eating and when .... As I am intrigued!

Turniphead1 Tue 25-Feb-14 17:21:13

I am so glad I am self employed & work from home. Have zero tolerance for this. YANBU. At all.

Loved the description of Loud Fasting though. Fabulous!

chipshop Tue 25-Feb-14 17:33:19

I used to sit next to someone built like the Incredible Hulk, 6ft 7 and as wide. He has protein powder under his desk so he could make shakes all day. He'd have a big sausage sandwich for breakfast, eat the lunch his gf made about 11.30, which was the world's biggest salad, then he'd have a second lunch of something with chips. He'd also visit the vending machine for crisps and chocolate throughout the day. He wasn't fat, just massive. The amount he ate tho... shock

PhoneSexWithMalcolmTucker Tue 25-Feb-14 17:34:49

Foodylicious I experience the same reaction when people squeak their cutlery against plates. It's completely involuntary and I know it makes me look like a nob, but the sound actually causes me intense discomfort.

I may have been a lazy desktop face stuffer (now reformed) but at least I never squeaked my cutlery.

stridence Tue 25-Feb-14 17:35:49

It's almost as annoying as a colleague spending all day on mumsnet.

NuggetofPurestGreen Tue 25-Feb-14 17:41:42

Are you not supposed to lick the foil bit of your yoghurt? blush.

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 17:45:31

I'm an out and proud lid licker

But a quiet one grin

Tulip26 Tue 25-Feb-14 17:47:47

Oh God, one of my mates works next to the boss in their office who eats nothing but crisps and cuppa soup. All day. Good thing is, she's lost two stone as he's put her right off snacking.

curiousuze Tue 25-Feb-14 17:49:57

God. I ate all day today. I had an apple! I'm just bloody hungry ok - I breast feed and I went to the gym at lunchtime blush

Chippednailvarnish Tue 25-Feb-14 17:50:20

Get some chocolax and leave it on her desk disguised as a normal chocolate. At least when she's stuck on the loo it will be quiet...

Doyouthinktheysaurus Tue 25-Feb-14 18:31:06

Oh god, I hate noisy eaters!

I work with a loud dieter, very similar to Vlad's loud Faster! 'I've lost 2 stone, don't I look good', 'oh, I don't eat at work anymore' as I'm tucking in my not at all noisy or obtrusive snack (night worker), 'do you like these trousers, they are a size smaller, did I tell you I've lost 2 stone'........

On and on it goes, all frigging night! How I don't kill him before morning I don't know!

And there was someone a few weeks back that ate an extremely ripe mango extremely noisily! I actually did gag and have to leave the room, the smell and sounds were horrific!

lljkk Tue 25-Feb-14 18:33:04

Another guilty grazer raising head above the parapet...
I try to save any noisy food for when no one else is around.

StrawberryCheese Tue 25-Feb-14 18:37:09

I work with a guy who has a bacon, egg and black pudding roll on a Friday morning. He will talk to you while he is eating and spends the remainder of the day with brown sauce across his face. Grim

Cleartheclutter Tue 25-Feb-14 18:44:42

I work opposite a woman who bloody eats all day. She has a drawer full of food and literally every hour goes to the fridge and gets out yet more food. Her desk is always covered with plates and cups and she to make several trips to the kitchen to keep washing all the dishes.

She saw my salad yesterday and commented that it was huge hmm she brings a carrier bag full of food each day - apparently that is not huge

She is surprisingly not overweight. I am not either but would be if I ate all blinking day

FunkyBoldRibena Tue 25-Feb-14 18:46:21

I would sprinkle some mouse droppings on the desk and wait for the penny to drop...and suggest nicely that they like the crumbs so perhaps we had all better eat in the staff room from now on and I'd make 'bleurgh' noises and make myself shiver in horror all day.

Lexie1970 Tue 25-Feb-14 18:55:20

I have a work colleague who constantly says how hungry she is, shovels cup a soups down her throat as soon as she walks in (20 mins late) but she is so hungry, talks about the takeaway she gad last night, the two meals she will consume whilst waiting for her husband to get home late, whereupon she will eat takeaway with him and then talks about the rubbish she us going to consume next.

Drives me up the wall and she is the size of a fu**ing house - I just want to swear at her but have to smile and be nice - and breathe......

bluebeanie Tue 25-Feb-14 19:12:06

You know what I can't stand? Noisy, open mouthed gum chewing. Shudder

Dubjackeen Tue 25-Feb-14 19:20:22

Used to sit opposite someone who ate all day...or maybe it just seemed that way. Apples, yoghurts, sandwiches with lots of 'nom nom' (ugh) sounds and so on. Eventually, it was said, in general terms, at a staff meeting that people should leave their desks, in order to eat lunch, even if people weren't taking lunch hours or whatever. Thankfully, that stopped her.

HopefulHamster Tue 25-Feb-14 19:52:42

Another grazer here, and now I feel bad.

I am a little overweight though not massively so. I've always preferred to graze rather than eat lots in one go. Maybe I will try to go longer without food. There's a lot of eating at desks at my company though which I think has normalised it for me!

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 19:58:25

stridence that would have been both funnier and more apposite if I hadn't pointed out my own hypocrisy first wink

I am at home, in blessed silence. Even the animals are quiet (which is worrying, if I'm honest hmm ). I can't hear chewing. It's wonderful. <beatific grin>

Ugh. As soon as I read the title I knew that the first question would be about her weight. hmm Why the fuck does that matter? People without weight issues can annoy the crap out of you as well you know.

Focusingkingqueen Tue 25-Feb-14 20:02:14

I always eat at my desk, a small bowl of cereal when I get in, a Tupperware pot of lunch and an apple in the afternoon. I can't imagine having time to get any work done if I ate any more than that.

eurochick Tue 25-Feb-14 20:08:11

(Phoenix yes, thank you. 3 years, 2xIUI and 4xIVF and one mc and I have finally got as far as the 12 week mark smile At this point, if the mini alien wants carbs, it gets them!)

loveandsmiles Tue 25-Feb-14 20:13:02


Reminds me of a woman I used to work beside who bought boxes of crisps from cash and carry and always kept one beside her desk. She would munch through bags all day and when she got to crumbs at bottom of packet would throw her head back, open her mouth and empty crumbs in ~ I wanted to KILL her. She always ate cheese and onion, prawn cocktail and any other strong flavours you can think of, her phone, paperwork, everything stank of crisps ~ gag ~ getting worked up just thinking of it!!grin

Passthecake30 Tue 25-Feb-14 20:20:22

Oh dear. ...another (bored) grazer here...will try to be more quiet in future and sweep up my own crumbs

In my defense I'm v slim so I need all that food blush

Joiningthegang Tue 25-Feb-14 20:28:43

Foody - fucking cutlery on teeth scrapers - wtf - STOP IT NOW.
And slurpers (I don't care how hot your tea is)
And sweet suckers with the slapping noise thrown in
And general noisy eaters
And this Reno scrape a bowl clean with cutlery - aaaarrrggghh

Look up missophonia - it's a medical condition and I think I probably have it!!!

Cleartheclutter Tue 25-Feb-14 20:32:58

Today my colleague ate a chocolate bar, leftover curry, box of salad, two slices of cake, three biscuits, a pot of cottage cheese, packet of crisps, cup of soup, a pile of cookies, sandwich and other stuff I can't remember. It just doesn't seem to end.........

Then she wonders why her desk is so dirty and messy hmm

Oh god I could have written the colleague opposite has just discovered the joys of Pop Chips and eats at least two packets a day...I feel like I'm living every mouthful with her...she's a lovely person and actually my manager but when I see her coming back from her break with a rustling bag I do that silent 'The Scream' face...on the inside.

But actually the whole bloody office is just OBSESSED with food...there's a whole cupboard top area that I have to pass every time I go to the printer that always has at least three packets of biscuits on the go, plus boxes of chocolates and sundry specialty items that someone has just brought back from a trip abroad. I try not to see it but my eyes are automatically drawn there every time I pass. I's a continual test of my willpower!!

Ohbyethen Tue 25-Feb-14 20:55:57

Oh just bleh, and gagging whilst licking yoghurt pots just why? You have just eaten the rest of the yoghurt you will not starve if you don't lap up the dregs like a stray dog.

Remarkably, considering what I'm about to say, I am quite tolerant of other people's eating habits; as long as people attempt some measure of manners and courtesy (use cutlery if you need it, chew with your mouth closed, don't champ like a cud chewer etc) but I cannot watch The Supersizers eat... I love Sue Perkins & the idea but watching Giles Coren eat actually makes me feel sick, he is repulsive.

Select - I would fantasize about recreating the scene between Otto and Ken in a fish called Wanda. Slowly stuffing chips into her nostrils until she relents and promises never to do it again. Her doing z snaps without irony made me laugh, you really aren't making her sound appealing!

FoxyHarlow123 Tue 25-Feb-14 21:01:09

Cleartheclutter - I think you need to find more work to do and absorb yourself in it!

Cleartheclutter Tue 25-Feb-14 21:21:42

Foxy I have plenty of work. Hard to ignore someone when they are sat in front of you and keep saying I am really hungry and must eat. What shall I eat? Ermm I think I will have - insert food item grin

fatlazymummy Tue 25-Feb-14 21:33:40

I don't really understand this. If I was a boss/employer I would ban eating during work hours. People who work with the public manage to last to break times without snacking - why not extend the same courtesy to people who share office space.

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 21:33:46

Foxy I think it's the colleague who should find themselves more work to do - if they've got time to eat that lot they can't possibly be fully utilised!

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 21:52:44

I would ban it too fatlazymummy

If a smoker kept popping out for fag breaks, I'm sure there would be complaints about how it was cutting into their work.

One handed typing and constant face stuffing isn't likely to be fully productive either.

Vlad you need to look up innocently during one of her tirades and say "oh are you fasting? I had no idea"

stridence Tue 25-Feb-14 22:03:16

Select, I wasn't trying to be funny, I seriously think you're bang out of order moaning about others' eating habits when you're wasting time on mumsnet in a new job.

moondog Tue 25-Feb-14 22:09:49

God yes. Totally grim. Our (sadly) communal office in which I spend as little time as possible looks like a slovenly teenagers bedroom, not the work place of middle aged people who want to be taken seriously as professionals. Mouldy mugs, crusty cereal bowls, crumbs, cakes, biscuits, crappy magazines all over the place. I loathe it.
Add to that the vile kitchen and crusty microwave in which people zap unspeakable food combos and my stomach churns. Bleeerghhh.

I also think it should be illegal for anyone under 15 to eat crisps. I don't think cheesy breath and clogged up teeth combined with coffee breath overlaid with a hint of stale digestive can be carried off by anyone.

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 22:14:04

For your information stridence, I was at a point where I couldn't continue what I was doing until a particular person with administrator rights gave me access to a particular part of the system, and they were unavailable for a certain amount of time. An inevitable part of most new jobs, I've found, is a certain amount of sitting around waiting for the right person to show you what you need to know next.

Cleartheclutter Tue 25-Feb-14 23:06:21

Select my work was the same when I started, took 2 days before I could get started until I could get full access to everything, so no harm in you looking at MN while you are waiting smile

goodasitgets Tue 25-Feb-14 23:11:39

How do people eat this stuff and not be huge?!
Today I had Greek yog and berries, protein shake after gym and tea was 4 meatballs with tomato sauce and veg. No snacks at work except two coffees
Now I want crisps grin

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 23:26:19

Select, I wasn't trying to be funny, I seriously think you're bang out of order moaning about others' eating habits when you're wasting time on mumsnet in a new job.

She's moaning about the constant noise of "rustle-chomp-gulp-rustle-chomp-gulp"

Mumsnetting isn't going to produce any more noise than normal typing.

stridence Tue 25-Feb-14 23:28:20

Sorry, I didn't realise it was the one and only time you had posted on MN during work's time this week hmm

I'm sorry if you think I am labouring the point but it's really rather churlish to slag off a colleague's eating habits when you are new to the job and fucking around yourself.

stridence Tue 25-Feb-14 23:31:51

...I suggest you bellow across the desk: 'Excuse me, would you mind shutting the frig up whilst I am trying to mumsnet?' grin

MummytoMog Tue 25-Feb-14 23:35:14

Puhleese - like any normal person can't manage a productive day of work with the odd minute of Mumsnet thrown in here and there. I believe the OP was complaining about the noisy chomping. Not lack of productivity of her colleague.

OP, you are totally in the right. Can you sprinkle her food with laxatives at all?

Dollslikeyouandme Tue 25-Feb-14 23:40:06

Loveandsmiles they all do that in my office, drink their crisps crumbs out of the packet, it infuriates me. angryangryangry

RuddyDuck Wed 26-Feb-14 00:04:21

I don't understand the people who are saying "employers should ban eating in work hours". How does that work? unless the whole team has their lunch break at the same time (and then who would answer the phones?).

Today, one of my colleagues had her lunch at 12, one had it about 12.30 and I had mine at 12.45. By the time I ate my lunch my colleague who had her lunch at 12 had finished and was working again. And obviously I was working when she had her rather deliciously smelling soup for lunch. How can you realistically avoid colleagues taking their lunch breaks when you're working and vice versa?

I do agree that people ought to minimise the noise though.

fatlazymummy Wed 26-Feb-14 00:53:27

They should provide an eating area or staffroom for eating meals, and proper meal breaks. That is what I would do if I was an employer. There would be no eating at desks, because it is unprofessional, IMO.

RandomInternetStranger Wed 26-Feb-14 01:03:08

I have just realised I'm am incredibly annoying work colleague. grinsmile

I munch 27/7 but now I'm pg it's not just little nibbles, it's full on meals.

And I crunch apples.

And lick my yoghurt lids.


SelectAUserName Wed 26-Feb-14 04:30:09

So what exactly was I supposed to do instead, stridence?

There was precisely ONE person in the office yesterday who could give me the access I needed. They were unavailable for over 30 minutes. If I had logged out and done something else - not that I had anything else to do at this point, and even if I had it would have involved using the same system - I would have lost the work I'd done up to that point and had to start again.

I'm not new to the company, only this team and this specialist system, and my so-called "buddy" is on a training course (great planning there, new boss hmm ) so there were no policies to read, no housekeeping rules to learn, no "new starters induction pack" to leaf through, no email signature to set up yadda yadda yadda. The training is pretty sporadic until "buddy" comes back and I'm very familiar with the signs that the rest of the team - with the exception of Food Woman, who is clearly otherwise occupied grin - are clearly thinking "oh shit, what do we have time to show her / what can we give her to do now?"

So yes, I have spent a bit of time on MN this week, because the alternative is sitting back in the chair staring at Food Woman/the wall/a static screen or making conversation and disturbing everyone on the frequent occasions I have to wait for the person I need to become available. (On the plus side, I've made some useful notes on how NOT to give an induction into this team!)

RuddyDuck Wed 26-Feb-14 06:44:04

fatlazymummy it would be lovely if my employer provided a staff room, but in all my years of working for either charities or the public sector (I'm currently in the public sector) I have only ever once worked somewhere where there was a staff room. Almost 1000 people work in the building I'm in, which would mean a lot of staff rooms -it's not going to happen.

It's all very well saying thatvpeople shouldn't eat at their desks but for many people there is no choice. I have no other option, nor do my colleagues.

We do try to be considerate of others when we're eating though.

PooroldJumbo Wed 26-Feb-14 07:22:10

Lighten up Stridence!

itsbetterthanabox Wed 26-Feb-14 07:28:13

Yabu. Why do you care what she eats? That noise is no louder than her using the phone or talking to a colleague so can't be anymore distracting. In a shared office you need to learn to tune out external noise. What she eats is none of your business tbh.

itsbetterthanabox Wed 26-Feb-14 07:34:16

And who cares if she is thin or overweight? What bearing does that have at all? hmm

Yesterday my day went like this...

Work colleague number 1. Ate a bowl of porridge, an apple, a banana, a packet of mini cheddars, a sandwich, sliced peppers, a yoghurt, a packet of mini chocolate fingers, an apple, a packet of cheese and onion crisps and a cup of soup. At her desk.

And how, exactly do I know precisely what she ate?

Because work colleague number 2 decided to do a little commentary. Ooh an apple. That's x amount of weight watchers points that is, did you know that? Ooh a packet of crisps? That's x amount if weight watchers points, did you know that? It's quite a lot isn't it? You know for the same amount of points you could have 4 salads! Funny, isn't it.
Ooh a yoghurt. That's x amount of weight watchers points, did you know that? I eat the weight watchers yoghurts myself, they taste really nice. Do you want to try one?
Ooh peppers. That's x amount of weight watchers points, did you know that? Good isn't it? You should eat more of those.


t3rr3gl35 Wed 26-Feb-14 07:49:30

I really feel your pain, OP. I still have horrors when i remember sitting beside a muncher for an 18 mth contract which ended nearly 3 years ago. She ate cakes, pastries, crisps, biscuits all day, chewing with her mouth open and talking while spitting bits of crumb all over the place. When she wasn't eating she was belching loudly, claiming every couple of days that she had a medical problem (reflux)which caused it. I did once say to her that her choice of food may well be the cause of her reflux and was subsequently advised by HR that it was not appropriate to make comment on medical issues so I suffered in silence for the next few months until my contract expired. I refused to renew, citing her eating habits as the reason.

fatlazymummy Wed 26-Feb-14 09:35:50

Ok, I understand some workplaces don't have staffrooms or canteens, so people have to eat lunch at their desks. That still doesn't explain constant snacking through the day.
I just don't understand that kind of working enviroment, but then I've always worked with the public, or at home.

Cleartheclutter Wed 26-Feb-14 09:54:58

We have a staff room but my colleague eats so much all day that she can't sit there all day to eat her non stop food so does it at her desk so it looks like she is working angry

fatlazymummy Wed 26-Feb-14 10:31:21

See, if there is a staffroom then I think it's reasonable for eating at desks to be banned.

vladthedisorganised Wed 26-Feb-14 10:43:02

Aaaaargh Tantrums! I figure I would be happy if the entire office ate Supernoodles all day, so long as nobody talked about diets..

Can we lure your colleague #2 and my Loud Faster out into the woods with some strategically placed Weight Watchers yoghurts?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 26-Feb-14 10:46:31

All I can keep thinking is how minging must her keyboard be? With all those crumbs, drips of apple juice, crisp bits etc. etc. falling on it. If she is eating with one hand & operating her PC with the other it's got to be happening.

I haven't been an office worker for many years now - but when I was I was always very self conscious about this sort of thing! Although, we were only allowed to eat at our desks at "reasonable times", which meant lunch during our lunch break, a snack with a coffee etc. If people had been making meals or generally eating constantly I am sure our ferocious Office Manager would have had a word to say!

SeaSickSal Wed 26-Feb-14 10:54:37

I don't think I would even notice this. Some people are massively over sensitive.

Honestly, I think when you're working in an office it's far more oppresive and creates more of an unpleasant atmosphere if you're someone who gets irritated over every single rustle of a wrapper or the noise of someone chewing than someone eating at their desk.

Incidentally I think being on Mumsnet when you're supposed to be working is far worse than eating at your desk.

Bekindtoyourknees Wed 26-Feb-14 10:58:20

You're lucky that you don't share an office with someone who chews tobacco, as I used to.

He was American and chewed tobacco ALL FUCKING DAY. And what do you have to do when you chew tobacco? Spit. He had an empty water bottle on his desk, this is what he spat into.

It was in full view of all us, a clear plastic bottle with brown spit in it.

WorraLiberty Wed 26-Feb-14 11:01:00

Incidentally I think being on Mumsnet when you're supposed to be working is far worse than eating at your desk.

Worse than hearing rustle-chomp-gulp-rustle-chomp-gulp all day long?

I don't even see how you'd know the person on the other side of the office was using Mumsnet.

Surely the sound of a keyboard tapping is the same whether you're working or not?

SeaSickSal Wed 26-Feb-14 11:06:27

Worra, I would be far more pissed off by a colleague who was skiving than a colleague who was eating.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 26-Feb-14 11:11:53

Someone who is spending, say, an hour giving their full attention to their work & then spending 10 mins updating their MN thread is probably still getting more actual work done than the person who is constantly working one-handed & stopping to prepare more food.

fatlazymummy Wed 26-Feb-14 11:13:21

Being on mumsnet (or any other forum) is an issue for management. It doesn't impinge on other workers personal space. It doesn't cause noise, smells or unpleasant sights.
Don't lots of office workers use forums during work hours? That's the impression I get from being on forums.

WorraLiberty Wed 26-Feb-14 11:19:18

But isn't it a similar thing SeaSick?

Not that the OP was skiving (as she already explained) but how much work can you get done, when you add up all the time spent eating at the end of the day?

SometimesLonely Wed 26-Feb-14 11:32:39

I wonder why the desk the OP moved to was vacant .......

Cleartheclutter Wed 26-Feb-14 16:23:38

Agree with WorraLiberty how much work can somone get done if they are stuffing their face all day?

moondog Wed 26-Feb-14 16:35:40

<hearty guffaw> at tobacco chewer.
Te munchers always seem to eat crappy food too I notice.

Cleartheclutter Wed 26-Feb-14 19:09:12

Someone who is spending, say, an hour giving their full attention to their work & then spending 10 mins updating their MN thread is probably still getting more actual work done than the person who is constantly working one-handed & stopping to prepare more food


itsbetterthanabox Wed 26-Feb-14 21:33:52

You can work and occasionally eat an item. She isn't actually constantly eating. Just having some snacks.

SeaSickSal Wed 26-Feb-14 21:38:43

It is an issue for other employees if they're picking up the slack because their shiftless colleague is on Mumsnet.

If they spend 10 minutes out of an hour on Mumsnet they are ripping off their bosses for 15% of their salary.

It's no skin off my nose but the OP's nasty attitude towards her colleague just makes it sound like it's a bitchy, nasty office.

I suspect that the vast majority of people would be very upset if they were to discover a colleague was posting nasty personal remarks about them on Mumsnet.

But lets all ignore the fact that someone is doing something unprofessional and unpleasant and have a go at the poor woman for eating a cracker.

SeaSickSal Wed 26-Feb-14 21:40:07

If you can't deal with a bit of rustling and chewing then you're probably over sensitive. How would you deal with the rest of the noise?

Or is any noise that anyone makes which isn't strictly necessary absolutely sinful?

You all sound like a barrel of laughs to work with.

BlueStones Wed 26-Feb-14 21:55:45

You can work and eat, if your job is computer-based. She isn't necessarily being less productive because she's eating.

Constant slurping would annoy me too, though. We have nowhere else to eat but our desks, but luckily everyone seems pretty considerate with food around here (apart from the bastards who bring chips back from the takeaway and make my salad look feeble and dull).

Cleartheclutter Wed 26-Feb-14 21:59:14

You can work and eat, if your job is computer-based. She isn't necessarily being less productive because she's eating

It is not just the eating, it is constant trips to the fridge, going to the shop to buy soup and crisps, washing of the dishes and all the stuff that comes with it

SelectAUserName Wed 26-Feb-14 22:09:42

SeaSickSal I've worked in offices - mostly open plan - for over 20 years. I can cope with most general office noises just fine. If it were just "a cracker" it would be barely noticeable. This woman is about three feet away and is the most prodigious, and possibly the noisiest, eater-at-work I have ever come across. She is like a chain smoker but with food. As soon as one snack is finished, out comes the next. That is not a "bitchy personal remark", it is a statement of fact!

BeautifulBlondePineapple Wed 26-Feb-14 22:20:07

I eat at my desk, but only at lunchtime (a sandwich or soup in a mug type of thing). She must be bored to have time to think about all that eating!

All that noise of crunching & slurping would drive me bonkers as well. My DH used to work with a woman who ate a whole lettuce at her desk every day. She would take bites out it like you would eat an apple. Apparently it took an age to eat and was very noisy. Then she would start on the whole peppers...

Dubjackeen Thu 27-Feb-14 00:08:00

Slightly off thread, maybe, but I now work near someone who clips her nails at her desk. I feel like screaming when she starts.

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 10:04:04

Well it is 10am and my colleague has eaten 3 biscuits, a box of sushi and a chocolate brownie already..........

my colleague has had golden syrup porridge, an apple, and an apple pie.

SlightlyDampWellies Thu 27-Feb-14 10:59:21

The only person in my office has had a fruit smoothie and is currently cooking fish in the microwave.

(Oh okay, that's me. Thank heavens for everyone I work at home!).

I am ashamed to admit that I think when I worked in an office I was the office eater.

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 11:28:59

Now eating a Terrys chocolate orange.....

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 11:32:11

She has just got some cookies out

MooseBeTimeForSnow Thu 27-Feb-14 11:41:25

The law firm I used to work at monitored internet use. Any use of forums, BookFace etc between 8:30 and 12 and then 1 and 5 was considered a disciplinary offence.

Notquitesureagain Thu 27-Feb-14 11:47:52

This would drive me totally mental. YANBU.

We are now onto a bowl of soup and a roll.

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 12:17:22

She had a bowl of cereal this morning as well!

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 12:18:06

I am enjoying everyone's running commentary on what their colleagues are eating grin

Cheese and crackers and a yoghurt.

This is the same person by the way

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 27-Feb-14 12:35:51

Oh dear I always munch something at work. Not smelly or noisy though.
Can't function without grazing!!

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 27-Feb-14 12:46:17

I don't understand TBH why so many people have a problem with their colleagues grazing if they are not noisy, smelly, messy or under productive.

SelectAUserName Thu 27-Feb-14 13:21:59

Zombies I think the fact so many of us have noticed our colleagues eating so much in the first place suggests that you are probably noisier, smellier, messier or less productive than you think you are!

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 13:22:49

It is sheer volume that I am surprised at shock

I notice. I notice because 1) the office is fairly small so any food is noisy. And smelly
2) because, bar a couple of biscuits, or actual lunch at lunch time, no one else spends so much time eating and 3) because weight watcher woman gives us a running fucking commentary.

She has since eaten a pot of jelly and an orange btw

someone in this building is cooking fish.

That should be banned.

ChoccyDigestive82 Thu 27-Feb-14 13:33:50

I sit opposite a girl who has about 3 packets of crisps a day.

Aftereach packet she will loudly suck each finger on both hands. Sends me crazy. She is 23 and should know better

AngelaDaviesHair Thu 27-Feb-14 13:41:47

My BIL's boss is a constant eater. He is one of those rare people who cannot keep weight on for some medical reason and has to eat vast amounts just to stay rake thin. The other day they went out for a massive lunch then boss bought a huge box of patisserie to eat in the car on the way back. 'Oh, want one?' he says cheerily to BIL.

The head honcho at my place still tells the story of his trainee from years ago who used to share his office while they did a big project. Trainee ate all the time and honcho tried to ignore but finally cracked the day trainee ate an entire cheesecake (not even a supermarket one-the large kind you get from bakeries) complete with loud lip-smacking. From that day on all eating in the office was banned, and trainee used to get very twitchy from not being able to eat all the time. From that day on all trainees are told to take lunch outside the office (we claim it is to save their sanity and force them to have a break, but actually it's to save ours).

DurhamDurham Thu 27-Feb-14 13:59:26

For those posters defending constant eaters and suggesting more time is being wasted on Mumsnet. How do you know that the constant eaters are not on Mumsnet as well? They may be munching away and browsing through the Talk section.

Should be fairly obvious if they happen upon this thread because there will be tears/shouting/recriminations!!

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 15:08:55

She has just eaten 3 cookies, now getting out a sandwich and a salad.......

mine has eaten 3 quarters of a packet of eclairs. Loudly. and grapes

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 15:13:34

Mine has a huge pack of grapes on her desk ready to eat next grin

How do they eat so much?

encyclogirl Thu 27-Feb-14 15:17:56

It's like a duel between Clear and Tantrums colleagues grin

WorraLiberty Thu 27-Feb-14 15:22:48

Aftereach packet she will loudly suck each finger on both hands. Sends me crazy. She is 23 and should know better

I have no idea why, but I'm irrationally angry after reading this ^^ grin

I can feel my blood pressure rising...

Imnotmadeofeyes Thu 27-Feb-14 15:34:00

Ok, how many people dislike sitting opposite someone who doesn't shut their mouth when they're chewing? Most I would guess and I would also guess it's because it's revolting. The sensitivity talked about in the thread is usually an extension of that.

I'm like it and I agree that largely it's my problem - if people have an occasional snack or stick to meal times I can deal with it and take myself out of hearing range if I just can't cope with it. The more someone does it the less opportunity I can find to leave my desk.

Honestly, for me you may as well put a glass of spit on my desk because that's the reaction I will be having listening to someone's jaw working overtime (seriously can't bare open mouthed gum chewers chopping on their spittle ridden pieces of gum - urgh) or wipe your snot on my desk if you insist on sniffing all day.....

I hold my hands up - I am definitely not a 'people person' grin

AngelaDaviesHair Thu 27-Feb-14 15:34:39

This thread is making me hungry, I'm going out for snacks!

Oblomov Thu 27-Feb-14 15:45:54

Am laughing at all if you.
You all sound miserable as sin!!!
I eat all the time. At home, at work, everywhere.

So what bothers you about someone else eating?
Some of the posts, I get, re noisy eaters. Point taken.

But some if the posts. Just sound like pure jealousy. That people can eat what they want without putting on weight. But you only have to 'look' at a bar of chocolate.

There are few valid posts here, at to what the actual problem is.

my problem is- the noise. The smell. The constant sounds of rustling and chewing at least once every 20 minutes. The weight watcher woman who wants to give us a commentary on what x is eating and how bad/good it is, the fact we have a lovely kitchen and staff room for people to actually eat it, the crumbs all over any document that I am given.

That's it.

uselessidiot Thu 27-Feb-14 15:54:44

I don't think eating at your desk is a problem in itself. It's noisy eating that's infuriating and boak inducing.

Imnotmadeofeyes Thu 27-Feb-14 16:02:46

tantrums I bet your ww colleague has a spreadsheet with everyone's points tallied up for each day grin

Is anyone else actually following ww, or is she just preaching?

no one is following ww except her.
No one cares.

She just won't stop doing it, I refuse to eat anything whilst she is there, because it makes me want to throw it at her head.

She says "ooh, what are you eating" and if you ignore her she comes right over to have a look

WorraLiberty Thu 27-Feb-14 16:11:11

I'm just thinking how amusing it would be if everyone practised unnecessary, all day eating at work? grin

Midwives delivering a baby whilst munching a Pot Noodle

Newsreaders crunching a packet of crisps while reading the news at 10

Surgeons during an operation "Scalpel, clamp, swab, chocolate hobnobs please".

Fire fighters clambering up a ladder to a burning house with a sausage roll stuck in their gobs.

<< Childishly ponders >> grin

Littleen Thu 27-Feb-14 16:13:32

some people do not have the ability to feel full. Also she could be comfort eating. Put some headphones on smile

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 27-Feb-14 16:14:06

I couldn't bear this. I get annoyed on buses and trains when I'm sitting beside constant eaters, I always have to move.
Nobody should have to eat constantly, it's just sheer greed IMO, whatever weight you are.

Egusta Thu 27-Feb-14 16:18:39

Worra, I lived for a while in a developing country and got a cat off the street and eventually got her fixed. The vet ordered and ate a kebab while operating on her (I know this, because I was in the room too sitting on a chair.) Strange as it may seem, hmm my cat got a terrible infection and barely made it through. (I was shaking with horror while he was leaning over her eating while his assistant was stitching her up and I saw a drop of oil spill on her open tummy.

I was sort of in shocked, unmoving horror.

Sorry- as you were. smile

WorraLiberty Thu 27-Feb-14 16:20:23

OMG Egusta?!? shock

I don't think I'll ever touch a kebab again!

Egusta Thu 27-Feb-14 16:21:12

Poor cat. She was such a lovely little thing. Brought her home and about a week after completing her 6 month quarantine she got hit by a car. sad

Imnotmadeofeyes Thu 27-Feb-14 16:21:28

What a knob, she'd drive me mad too Tantrums.

Could you change tac, for the next week eat something t least once a day and when she asks what it is tell we and immediately tell her how many points it is e.g "it's two hobnobs which is ten points - why what's yours?"

Like that character Catherine Tate does who plays the 'guess' game.

Imnotmadeofeyes Thu 27-Feb-14 16:22:49

Oh eugsta, that's so sad sad

Twilight23 Thu 27-Feb-14 16:22:56

I am a grazer. I eat small meals in order to accomodate snacks. I bring a packed lunch and snacks to work.

On average I eat;

Hot choc and croissant for breakfast
Fruit around 11am
Hot drink at midday with a biscuit
Lunch around 1.30/2pm - roll, yoghurt, mini choc bar, crisps
Tea and biscuit around 4pm

Twilight23 Thu 27-Feb-14 16:26:42

Worra It is disgusting to lick your fingers or or pick food out of your teeth after eating. I have seen many people do this and I refuse to eat anything once their hands have been all over it.

WorraLiberty Thu 27-Feb-14 16:28:22

I know Twilight, there are still some restaurants that have toothpicks on the tables.

Imagine eating your meal and spotting someone digging steak out of their teeth...yuk!

Egusta Thu 27-Feb-14 16:30:03

Thanks Imnot. She had 4 good years with me. I originally rescued her because some boys were kicking her. She was such a dear. So cuddly. I miss her dreadfully.

moondog Thu 27-Feb-14 16:30:59

Hilariously surreal thread. I keep in having to whip out my phone to read the latest. Hooting at whole lettuce woman and cheesecake man and operating vet and thought of firemen trough inch sausage rolls. Loving running commentary on colleagues too. Can well imagine someone pausing mid MNing ready to ram in a penguin and realising to their horror that they are the person in question.

The bloke opposite me at work cannot take a sip of water, tea, anything without swilling it round his mouth first. I almost expect him to gargle it and it makes me want to puke

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 16:51:09

But some if the posts. Just sound like pure jealousy. That people can eat what they want without putting on weight. But you only have to 'look' at a bar of chocolate

The woman who sits near me has put on 8lbs in the last few months and doesn't know why. I am slimmer than her and not jealous whatsoever. That is not the issue

moondog Thu 27-Feb-14 16:52:54

A woman I know once micro waved a kipper and took it into the (very crowded) staffroom to eat. The horrified response of all therein was something else again. She was mortified but I cannot fathom how she thought this would ever have been ok.

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 16:55:40

How do they eat so much?

I think this everyday!

She's just eaten a bloody mini trifle thing. FFS it's going home time, you could not have eaten that at home??

And she licked the foil. And left her teaspoon on her crumb ridden desk.

moondog Thu 27-Feb-14 17:10:04

And what on earth induces folk to leave filthy cups and crockery on their desks or leave filthy mugs filled with water in a sink? I don't get that. Bloody wash the thing!

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 17:13:32

Tantrums our non stop eating colleagues sound remarkably similar grin

Or plates right next to the dishwasher?

If you have gone to the effort of carrying the plate from your office to the kitchen then why wouldn't you wash it/put it in the dishwasher?
Who are you expecting to do that for you?

scarletforya Thu 27-Feb-14 17:21:47

Lid licking and finger sucking make me feel sick!

I worked with a woman who on finishing a bag of crisps would tear it open and systematically rub off all the salt with her fingers sucking them to get the salt was nauseating. She also had a very long yellow thumbnail in which mashed potato used to collect. She used to suck it out.

She was a revolting pig.

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 09:52:22

So today so far she has eaten:

2 slices of toast with peanut butter and marmite confused
Bowl of cornflakes

not even 10am yet!!!!

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 12:46:10

She has just had a cup of soup, biscuits and now opening crisps then she will have lunch!

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 12:53:59

She has gone to heat up a rice and casserole meal in a pot now

Eating disorder?

HellsGranny Fri 28-Feb-14 14:26:36

Phew, until I read she was a Noo Yorker I panicked that someone was writing about me...I do graze...a lot.

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 16:32:10

A few more biscuits now it is time for her to have a cup of soup and an apple and then she is going to get the grapes

Quangle Fri 28-Feb-14 17:06:26

cleartheclutter this could be a twitter feed. It's weirdly fascinating.

spongebob13 Fri 28-Feb-14 17:45:10

for as long as it takes these people to eat and waste company time surely its the same thing taking notes of what these people are eating and the times and how much etc etc etc. get yourself headphones, turn up phone loud so can hear it when it rings, get yourself a fan or some smelly thing for your desk if the smell bothers you. then maybe she will complain about your loud music, loud phone and strong smelling pot pourri!!

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 17:51:50

Quangle good idea, maybe it does deserve its own twitter feed grin

Posting on here has made it easier to deal with her constant eating, if I can't see what she is eating, I ask her then post it on here!!! Think I am getting obsessed, if she had to report on me the only thing she could say is a salad at lunch, I generally do not eat between meals

for as long as it takes these people to eat and waste company time surely its the same thing taking notes of what these people are eating and the times and how much etc etc etc. get yourself headphones, turn up phone loud so can hear it when it rings, get yourself a fan or some smelly thing for your desk if the smell bothers you. then maybe she will complain about your loud music, loud phone and strong smelling pot pourri!!

It is quicker for me to post what she eats than it takes her constant trips to the fridge, microwave, washing dishes, preparing her next snack - the two are not equal

GertyD Fri 28-Feb-14 18:03:36

This would drive me absolutely, murderously crazy. You are amazing for remaining calm for so long.

MistressDeeCee Fri 28-Feb-14 18:15:58

I wouldnt be able to take the sight and sound of that constant munching, gulping, talking with food in the mouth. Its beyond slobbish. If people want to be slobs thats their choice, but having to be in their presence when they're constantly troughing must be a real bind. Poor you, OP. Her desk must be littered with crumbs, as for the smell of food wafting all day whilst working..I can't imagine it. All sounds like a health hazard. Who'd want to put up with that? Anyone saying you should, is just 'Im alright jack' as they don't have to put up with similar. It sounds sickening and thats saying the very least. Not sure what you could do about it, though. Earphones would be a start. Then you could just not look at her & what she's eating. If asked Id find it easy enough to very calmly say 'sorry, I find it difficult to cope with the sight & sound of constant eating'. We all handle things in our own ways, though. Any chance 'stand up' air freshener (or 2) on your desk? A potted plant to block out the sight of her greedy gob, at least? But I think you'll very soon become despondent if you don't find ways to handle this. It souhds funny in a way..but, it isn't.

Can I just add another one to this...if it's necessary to eat a boiled sweet at your desk (and I can see how that might be important now and again) is it really necessary to clack it around your teeth repeatedly?

The clacking. I just can't bear it.

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