in thinking that my neighbour has some cheek giving us a curfew for our heating!

(92 Posts)
timesarehard Wed 19-Feb-14 23:33:11

Been a funny old week.

We live out in the sticks. There are three houses in our little hamlet. We're attached to next door. I caught our neighbour in the garden today to tell her that my stepfather died on Monday. She was very nice but then hit me with.... Apparently, our heating is too loud. It is driving her husband insane. He can't sleep and he's threatening to rip "the bloody thing out" if it carries on. She said he is really very angry about it and doesn't want him calling here all guns blazing so if we could just never put our heating on past 9pm or before 6pm, she would appreciate it!

I must add, our heating is oil fired and costs a bloody fortune so we're quite frugal with it. It's not on a timer, we just flick it on when cold. If it's a particularly cold night or we're up late, we might put it on for an hour at about ten. We NEVER leave it on over night and it's extremely rare it's ever on past eleven.

My husband went round after work to listen to it. He said you can just about hear a slight humming through the wall (but only when they had turned off everything in their house)

Do they have a point? I do get that noises can be irritating but I'm not sure what I can do. It's a two hundred year old cottage; it's got an old heating system.

What would you do?

MrsBryan Wed 19-Feb-14 23:35:13

I would continue to use my heating as normal but perhaps flick it on for an hour at 9pm rather than 10.

mummyto2boysandagirl3 Wed 19-Feb-14 23:36:45

I'd tell them to do one! If ur house is cold put ur heating on!!! If u live in a semi u have to put up with the odd bit of noise I can hear next doors washing machine she does odd shifts and sometimes has to do her washing at2/3am she needs clean clothes u need a warm house

expatinscotland Wed 19-Feb-14 23:36:52

No, they don't have a point.

I would ignore them completely.

wheretoyougonow Wed 19-Feb-14 23:37:27

I wouldn't have told you if I was your neighbour. Very insensitive timing. Just carry on as normal. Sorry for your loss thanks

Wantsunshine Wed 19-Feb-14 23:38:03

I say too damn bad for your neighbours. How ridiculous, this would ensure I had mine on 24/7. Your DH has even been decent enough to go round an listen and it can barely be heard. So ignore.

Bogeyface Wed 19-Feb-14 23:38:59

Suggest that if they think it is a real problem that they contact Environmental health who will do a noise level check.

Sounds like he heard it once and is now obsessed with it. How old is he?

NadiaWadia Wed 19-Feb-14 23:39:29

Buy your neighbour a nice set of ear plugs - about £3 or £4 from Boots. He is being a bit daft. Are you supposed to freeze, then?

leezl Wed 19-Feb-14 23:40:26

Sorry to hear about your stepfather <3

LucyLasticBand Wed 19-Feb-14 23:41:08

does it make a noise when it starts? just try putting it on earlier to stay on as long as you like.
no way can they dictate.
nevermind, spring will soon be here grin

Wantsunshine Wed 19-Feb-14 23:41:26

This would be a nice waste of time for environmental health. At least they can reassure them that they are crazy and nothing can be done. Hoping your heating is on now so you are not cold on MN.

AnyFuckerHQ Wed 19-Feb-14 23:42:23

I would recommend some hobbies to your neighbors and use my heating whenever I felt like it

I would allow them to pay for a new heating system for my house. Until then I would carry on as normal smile

Supercosy Wed 19-Feb-14 23:44:21

My Dd is very sensitive to sounds...she is so dramatic about it, the poor dog who very quiet ly whines for a moment, the person cutting their hedge 10 doors down. I'm not unsympathetic but I do tell her she'll just have to get used to it really! Same for your neighbour....what else does he expect you to do?

Capitola Wed 19-Feb-14 23:46:31

Ignore them - they are being ridiculous, I wouldn't give them the time of day over this.

NinjaBunny Wed 19-Feb-14 23:47:32

Ooo, a friend of DP's got like this about the next door neighbour snoring.

Was never a problem. Then suddenly became the BIGGEST problem in the world.


Turned out it was the start of a breakdown.


Leave your heating as it is. If he 'rips the bloody thing out' you can sue him for trespassing and damages and possibly get a better boiler out of it.

MissHobart Wed 19-Feb-14 23:48:30

How long has he lived next door? Surely this is not a new thing? I'd tell him to fuck off mentally

I work shifts so our heating, washing machine, telly are on at lots of different times and our neighbours can probably hear them just add we can hear them singing karaoke hmm , it's part of living in a non detached house!

If he's ancient just tell him he should be happy he's got such good hearing! grin

I am the sort of person who is easily disturbed by even gentle noises, and have been kept awake by heating systems, but your heating usage - as you describe it - should bother no one: it is minimal and well within waking hours. If it's cold you need to heat your house, especially if you have children (I'm presuming you do as you're here!). YANBU, your neighbours are. Ignore them.

BumPotato Wed 19-Feb-14 23:49:13

If they have a problem they can

A) put up with it
B) move
C) get soundproofing installed
D) pay for you to have a quieter system installed

It is their problem, not yours, you needn't do anything. This can no way be described as nuisance noise.

squoosh Wed 19-Feb-14 23:50:00

Bloody cheek. If they can't handle sounds of other human life they should buy a detached property on their own five acres.

Poor Mrs Next Door though, she's probably getting it in the neck. Being told by Mr Nest Door to raise it with you and then getting an earful when you (quite rightly) ignore the ridiculous request. Can you imagine being lumbered with such an unreasonable git?

timesarehard Wed 19-Feb-14 23:50:25

Thank you for your condolences about my step father. He was a true gentleman and he has left a huge hole in our lives. Yes, my neighbour needs to learn some tact. I only told her about his death because she fed the cat over the weekend whilst we were at the hospital.

Bogey face, you've got him sussed. He's an odd man. He's complained about a buzzing noise from our house before. We invited him in and after an hour of turning everything off and on again, he couldn't find it. I suggested he might have tinnitus (which didn't go down very well).

Apparently, that (imaginary) noise has now stopped and it is definitely the heating he can now hear.

Oh and yes, it is noisy when it fires up but it's not that he's complaining about. It's the low humming whilst it's on that's annoying him.

PoshPenny Wed 19-Feb-14 23:50:57

I think you should carry on as you are. if your heating is really such a problem your neighbours should contact environmental health and then they can decide who/what is reasonable. I don't think getting you to turn your heating off at 9pm is fair, we keep ours going till about 11pm. they sound like miserable neighbours...

Sorry for your loss. flowers

Put your heating on when you are cold/whenever you bloody well please.

They do not have a point.

BumPotato Wed 19-Feb-14 23:52:16

PS I had neighbours who complained that we went to bed half hour after them and got up half hour earlier. They came to our door to ask us to adjust our routine. I know all about living next door to bampots.

Bogeyface Wed 19-Feb-14 23:52:39

Does sound like tinnitus to me! I would definitely suggest the EH option, he cant argue with the facts.

timesarehard Wed 19-Feb-14 23:54:25

Squoosh, I feel sorry for her too. She's lovely and we've always got on well.

The breakdown thing is interesting. He has form.

He's early forties btw. Oh, and he has a shotgun!

squoosh Wed 19-Feb-14 23:54:59

Bloody hell BumPotato, what was your response to such craziness?!

squoosh Wed 19-Feb-14 23:55:50

Early 40s? I was imagining a grumpy old guy in his 80s.

timesarehard Wed 19-Feb-14 23:58:16

Nope, but he is grumpy!

They are totally wrong even to mention it and you shouldn't give it another thought. The reality is that we all make some noise and unless someone can afford a house miles from anyone else they have to get used to it.

Don't let it make you feel guilty. And remember that they threatened you so you've a perfect right to be furious with them.

There are much worse things than the hum of a heating system and they are lucky that is all they have to complain about.

They should try living here. My kitchen faces a railway line and the place shakes when a train passes. My neighbours have parties which sometime go on until 4am. If they were not obsessing about it they'd have become accustomed to it.

Adeleh Wed 19-Feb-14 23:59:17

Sorry for your loss OP.
Are you allowed to use a Hoover? Start our car? Mow the lawn?
Do they feel they have the right to do these things?

Wantsunshine Wed 19-Feb-14 23:59:38

Sorry for your loss OP. Really did not expect you to say 40's! He clearly has some other issues, it is not your heating.
Bumpotato- What did you say to you neighbours apart from fuck off! Did they really think you would change your routine. Can't imagine that would have been their only issue either!

Fairenuff Thu 20-Feb-14 00:02:13

Please put your heating on now, just for half an hour or so to annoy him.

timesarehard Thu 20-Feb-14 00:02:39

Back, that's exactly what my DH said to them earlier; that they're now waiting for it and they've turned it into a bigger issue than it actually is.

We have three DC under six so we can't sit here freezing. They're lucky we've had a mild winter.

I just really don't want to fall out with my neighbours. We've lived here for eight years and have managed to negotiate a land access issue without falling out!

Fairenuff Thu 20-Feb-14 00:02:56

Or get yourself a drum kit, he won't hear the noise of the heating over that.

BumPotato Thu 20-Feb-14 00:04:11

Squoosh, we ignored them, they went madder and madder, and eventually moved to a detached house. They were early 40s too with young children.

OP if your neighbour approaches you again, get it logged with the police. I'm worried about the shotgun. If the police think NDN is unstable at all they can do something about his gun license.

I had to go to the police, eventually, with a complaint about my neighbours and they told me I should have been logging every instance of the harassment over the 3 years it went on for. All the occurrences were minor in themselves (therefore I didn't feel warranted reporting) but the final one got him a police record.

AnyFuckerHQ Thu 20-Feb-14 00:10:57

Gosh, not everyone with a gun licence is a potential murderer who needs bringing to the attention of the police (even if they do seem a bit petty) smile

expatinscotland Thu 20-Feb-14 00:11:13

He can get earplugs. Fuckwit.

ThatBloodyWoman Thu 20-Feb-14 00:14:44

I would carry on regardless.

It's become a Big Thing for them.

Next they'll be telling you when you can flush uour loo....

YeahThatsWhatISaid Thu 20-Feb-14 00:16:26

I have to admit that humming noises can really irritate me so I have a little sympathy with him (depending on how loud it is) Is there anything that you can easily and cheaply do that would minimise the noise? There are various sound absorbing products (foam boards etc) that may be used to effectively reduce the noise.
I know you shouldn't have too and that you don't sound like you are doing anything unreasonable but I think it might be worth looking into a bit of soundproofing.
I used to be an EHO and would always suggest to people that they sort these things out as amicably as possible. I used to get a lot of complaints about 'hums', it was often from within the complainants own house and from time to time I could find no noise and had to assume tinnitus. A statutory noise nuisance doesn't have to be that loud. It depends on lots of different factors, case law etc etc.

BumPotato Thu 20-Feb-14 00:21:47

True anyfuckerhq but he's already saying to his missus he's going to rip the heating out. Unstable. Not saying he'd commit murder but if he's this rankled about next door's heating he's not in a fit state to have a gun.

timesarehard Thu 20-Feb-14 00:23:44

That's interesting Yeah, thank you for that. DH has said he'll look into it. We're reasonable folk.

We've just come up with a plan though. We're going to try to not use the heating at all for the next week and see if he still complains. Then we will.know if it's in his head or not!

PansOnFire Thu 20-Feb-14 00:29:58

YANBU. He sounds like a prat. Buy him one of those relaxing white noise sound machine things, preferably one with different settings. Tell him to listen to the ocean sounds setting when your heating is on, it might chill him out a bit whilst covering the imaginary hum of the heating.

PigletJohn Thu 20-Feb-14 00:31:34

It's possible the circulating pump is old and worn out. Ask next time it is serviced. I don't know if it is OK to turn down the pump speed with an oil boiler.

Kiddie Thu 20-Feb-14 00:35:15

A friend of mine spent loads on soundproofing their joining walls as the neighbours were very nice but their timings for coming and going were making things unbearable. Then the neighbours moved!

I hate our heating it is so noisy that when we have really cold winters if i can't hear it i panic that it has stopped working. Lucky for us we are detached so only we have to put up with it!

timesarehard Thu 20-Feb-14 00:47:26

Piglet John, the pump is noisy and we're happy to replace that.

However, he claims the noise is coming from the flue. It is secured to their house with two pegs, as their roof is higher than ours. He thinks this is causing vibrations. Is that possible? Doesn't the flute just get rid of fumes?

EverythingCounts Thu 20-Feb-14 01:01:11

I would be wary of letting him think he can dictate when you use your heating. What will it be next?

See your thinking about no heating for a week, but don't stick with it if you get cold. Be very pleasant but firm about continuing to use the heating at perfectly reasonable times.

Adeleh Thu 20-Feb-14 01:04:38

He's not being reasonable, times. Don't freeze all next week! Or else ask him to fund your use of blow heaters for a week!

augenblick Thu 20-Feb-14 05:07:49

I would be very tempted to say oh yes, we'll do that, then deny point blank your heating is on. Just be totally convinced, oh no, heating wasn't on like you asked - maybe it was a pigeon? Sometimes the only way back with mad bastards is to be a bit mad!

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Thu 20-Feb-14 05:50:55

Take up the drums.
Her timing was insensitive.


He sounds angry and a little unstable.

However, I wouldn't let my house get cold because of his issues.

Stay polite and ignore him, despite his threat to rip the bloody thing out.

coldwater1 Thu 20-Feb-14 07:15:56

Ignore. If you were banging excessively or playing loud music all night i could understand but complaining about heating is just ridiculous! Carry on using your heating as and when.

struggling100 Thu 20-Feb-14 08:01:01

He is being completely unreasonable, and I also think it was incredibly insensitive timing on the part of his partner. I don't like the tone of her comments, either: 'do it, or he'll be REALLY angry' - it's very passive-aggressive.

However, all that said, I would be really careful about how you handle it and avoid upping the ante at all costs. You have to live next door to these people and anything approaching a feud could potentially be awful for your quality of life. (My grandmother is currently in a feud with an unbelievably spiteful neighbour, and it's terrible for her health). If you can accommodate their wishes without being uncomfortable, why not do so? Putting the heating on a bit earlier means you'll get more benefit too.

halfwildlingwoman Thu 20-Feb-14 08:06:13

We had a neighbour like this. He got so wound up by the noise of a door closing in our adjoining terrace house that he screamed really loudly through the wall. DP thought it was me and raced up the stairs in terror. He mentioned it over the garden fence and DP took the offending door off, planed it and fitted a new catch. We were pretty pissed off as DP had done some work for him for nothing and we had a tiny baby. The next time he complained about a tiny noise DP lost his temper and told him to move to a detached house in the middle of nowhere if he didn't like it. It was fine after that, in fact his partner came to apologise for him. I think he was in a bad place at the time and focused on this one little thing.

busywheels Thu 20-Feb-14 08:10:37

If he thinks it's the flue vibrating you could look at fixing the flue onto their house with anti-vibration mounts which would isolate it from the structure

Kveta Thu 20-Feb-14 08:13:30

our neighbours had this problem with the folk that lived in our house before we bought it. Previous owner of our house was an elderly man with a very unpleasant daughter, who took against our (lovely) neighbours for some reason. She was known as a bully to other people on the street and when elderly man needed a new heating system, she insisted it was all rigged up on adjoining walls (at I presume great expense, as it had previously been on the unattached side of the house). So the boiler is in our bedroom (of course hmm) on the wall that joins our neighbours bedroom.

Neighbours told me that they had a few weeks of misery once it was installed, as it was incredibly loud (it still is, so we never have heating on past 7pm in case it wakes the DC!), but they sorted it by moving their bedroom around, and having the wardrobe up against the boiler wall, and the bed opposite.

I think it can be very annoying to have noises, especially low level continuous ones, from next door, but it is part of having neighbours! I think your neighbours are a bit batty tbh, and would probably nod and smile and carry on as you are! If you were there before them, then surely it's their problem, not yours?!

PigletJohn Thu 20-Feb-14 08:35:44

It's possible you have a fanned flue, maybe the fan motor is worn out. Ask the serviceman.

You can get isolastic vibration-absorbing mounting brackets for machinery, possibly by Silentbloc, but I have no knowledge of these on a flue.

Amrapaali Thu 20-Feb-14 08:46:43

I can sympathise, OP. Our house is something called a link-detached, as in, one wall (the garage) is shared between two houses.

There were constant complaints about our boiler, it was apparently juddering and the noise was travelling up the wall to neighbour's bedroom. We serviced the boiler, got in another pro to have a look at it and thought we had sorted it out. Though we could find no real problem...

Neighbour came around and knocked one day at 4 in the morning, all wild-eyed and irritable and asked if we were taking a shower. confused The noise was bothering him. Again, apparently. It was surreal.

We just ignore him now, smile when we see each other, that's it. Mind you, he went on to buy a red, open-top sports car after a few months. So we just assumed his outburst had something to do with male menopause or mid life crisis.

Morgause Thu 20-Feb-14 09:19:06

Maybe look at moving the flue to your house. I'm not sure why it's on his house in the first place and think he may be within his rights to tear it down.

Pigeonhouse Thu 20-Feb-14 09:30:41

What everyone else has said, really. It may be worth seeing if the flue can be moved or stabilised for your peace of mind, but I am deeply unimpressed with your female neighbour"s timing and approach. Her husband's rages are certainly not your problem, nor should she attempt to make them so, and to do so in the context of a recent bereavement is insensitive and crass.

timesarehard Thu 20-Feb-14 11:42:43

Morgause, the flue is on our house. It's just stabalised with two brackets that are attached to his house. But, they've always been there. We've lived here for eight years and he's never mentioned it before. Obviously, we'll look into.moving them and if we can we will. We are going to arrange a service for the boiler and take it from there.

Thanks everyone for your support. It's good to know we're not being unreasonable!

Fairenuff Thu 20-Feb-14 11:49:09

If you were banging excessively...all night i could understand


I would be very tempted to say oh yes, we'll do that, then deny point blank your heating is on. Just be totally convinced, oh no, heating wasn't on like you asked - maybe it was a pigeon? Sometimes the only way back with mad bastards is to be a bit mad!

This is what I would do too. If he no longer thinks he can hear it, chances are he probably won't.

Retropear Thu 20-Feb-14 11:53:27

Was just going to say hope he hasn't got a shotgun.

Hmmmm not sure what to suggest. Yanbu however he has a shotgun and sounds slightly unhinged.confused

whatever5 Thu 20-Feb-14 11:54:28

Your neighbour sounds like a pain in the neck. Your heating probably does make a bit of noise but that's life but he needs to learn not to be irritated by it or move. It's not as if the noise keeps him awake at night and he shouldn't expect you to be cold just for his convenience.

JanicefromFriends Thu 20-Feb-14 11:56:24

I wonder if he is on some form of medication? My mother (granted she's 80 but a young 80!) started hallucinating at night with her tablets. She was convinced she could hear football matches at 3am in the morning coming up through her flat wall. She even went to the house next door to complain at 7am and they had here in to show her that the didn't even have their tv on! (she lives in a block of 6 flats but on either end their is a semi detached house). Then she thought it was coming from the back of her building, but the back is separated by a railway line, that's when I started to question what was actually happening in her mind. Once she changed tablets over, it all went away.

2rebecca Thu 20-Feb-14 11:56:37

He's being unreasonable. Having said that when I lived in an upstairs flat i did ask the downstairs neighbour if they could not put on dishwashers/ washing machines after 11pm as they were just below our bedroom and we'd be going to bed and they would start rumbling and spinning just as we were trying to get to sleep.
I didn't get angry though as I realised the noise was within legal limits and they could continue to do it if they wanted. Heating is less optional than timing of dishwashers etc though.. suggesting you be cold to keep them happy is nuts, but I'd try putting it on at 9.30 rather than 10. It sounds as though he has become a bit obsessed by the noise due to living in a quiet hamlet and needs to be near a nice main road so the traffic noise can drown out other noises!

Stinklebell Thu 20-Feb-14 12:10:04

We had problems with our old neighbours like this.

They complained constantly about noise, if I dared to bang a picture hook in the wall they'd be round shouting and hollering within seconds, they'd complain about the kids laughing in the garden on a sunny afternoon, complained about our dog barking all day one day - he'd been out all day with us, wasn't even in the house

They even complained about the boiler vent where the steam comes out - it was on our kitchen wall but the steam blew over the fence into their garden

It got to the point where I daren't fart in my own house and we resorted to using our back gate to come and go as every time we went out the front they'd clobber us to complain about something else

I spoke to environmental health who and they were really reassuring - we all make some noise and general day to day noise - children laughing and the odd bark from a dog isn't a problem.

Especially as they didn't seem to realise that if they could hear us, we could hear them, we just accepted the fact that we're all living our lives, we all bang in nails, laugh, etc

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 20-Feb-14 12:12:31

Just carry on as normal, honestly, if you are that sensitive to sound then a house in the middle of a field would be a better option!

So insensitive to tell you when you've just lost your Dadshock sad

Sorry for your loss OPthanks brew

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 20-Feb-14 12:13:23

Sorry, your step father x

ProfPlumSpeaking Thu 20-Feb-14 12:16:49

We should all be considerate of our neighbours. your neigbhours have not exactly raised the issue in the calmest manner, and of course you should be able to use your heating whenever you like, but OTOH if you can reduce the noise then that is worth looking into: check the fan, check to see if you can see when/where the noise is travelling through and if there is anything you can do about it. It's just neighbourly. If there's not, and if the noise is not actually, um, noisy, then forget it.

Stinklebell Thu 20-Feb-14 12:17:35

Gah, iPad went mad and posted too soon.

They are unreasonable, just carry on as normal, don't end up in some mad situation like we did. That sort of noise is normal

I'm sorry to hear about your step dad

TunipTheUnconquerable Thu 20-Feb-14 12:23:42

I have some sympathy for him because I'm incredibly sensitive to buzzy, hummy noises which no-one else can hear, but ultimately if no-one else can hear it then it's his problem and he'll have to get some insulation on his side.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I'd also suggest that perhaps the female neighbour isn't all that nice if she chose that opportunity to raise the issue of your boiler with you - that was beyond being insensitive.

Does your neighbour have a licence for that shotgun?

TSSDNCOP Thu 20-Feb-14 12:40:56

Can you hear their heating? If you're in a hamlet I am guessing they've got a similar system.

In the interests of neighbourly harmony, and I say this as someone who has lived in disharmony, you really don't want to fall out.

At the least I would very ostentatiously get a heating engineer in a very colourful van round to take a look.

Cobain Thu 20-Feb-14 13:05:36

My NDN asked DP to change his shifts as his car starting at 6 in the morning was not appropriate in a road of professionals people, he just laughed at her. Tbh she complains about everything and even if we could of resolved or found a solution she would find another reason to be annoyed.

popcornpaws Thu 20-Feb-14 13:14:05

You could also point out that the walls are thin and you can hear EVERYTHING they do, but thats just the way it is if you don't live in a detached house.

MissHobart Thu 20-Feb-14 13:47:43

Even we moved into our house the NDN's informed us that they could hear "everything" from the master bedroom so to keep our sex life quiet hmm We ignored them grin We never hear anything from their side so just assume they have no sex life!

Shonajoy Thu 20-Feb-14 14:54:51

Get environmental health out to do a noise reading, that'll shut him up and make sure he's there when its done.

Detached houses if you want total peace and quiet, it's your living space too. Cheek.

maggiemight Thu 20-Feb-14 15:01:15

What about some polystyrene sheets and an old duvet as insulation (yes, possibly a fire hazard but you could try it and see if it improves things before paying for something more expensive - and don't block any vents). Unless it's the vibration coming through the floor, maybe you can get it lifted slightly?

Speak to a heating engineer /plumber, perhaps there are issues with your make of boiler.

Could it possibly be the neighbours fridge as they can be noisy, is their fridge on the adjoing wall and he's blaming you?
Ask them to keep strict notes on when it is and isn't hearable, you keep notes too and see if they do match.

Could it be your fridge??

Financeprincess Thu 20-Feb-14 17:23:01

I had this once in a rented house, when I was in my early 20s. The neighbours complained that the heating system was too loud and asked that we didn't use it AT ALL!

As if! I suggested that she found out the identity of the landlord and discussed it with him.

BumPotato Thu 20-Feb-14 19:25:29

I'm sure you won't try anything that's a fire hazard OP!

southeastastra Thu 20-Feb-14 19:27:43

oh my neighbour has a humming boiler and it drives me crackers too! i know i can't do anything about it but it really can drive you potty.

is there something thats causing the hum, is the boiler next to something causing more hum that usual?

southeastastra Thu 20-Feb-14 19:30:28

my son's xbox hums to but if we move it slightly the humming stops!

don't underestimate how annoying they can be to others and at least try to see if you can find out why it's humming smile

VivaLeBeaver Thu 20-Feb-14 19:32:42

I'd put some brochures for isolated, detached houses through their letterbox.

chocolatemademefat Sun 23-Feb-14 13:24:18

Sympathise with him and tell him he's lucky he doesnt live in your house because its much louder from there.

anothernumberone Sun 23-Feb-14 13:29:46

Two things I would do

1) say thank you for your sympathy at this difficult time and the sensitivity you have shown

2) make a 'helpful' suggestion that they are better suited to detached living.

I would however fix the flue onto your own house.

M0naLisa Sun 23-Feb-14 16:14:28

I'd start hovering as soon as I wake just to piss him off. Miserable bastard!!

specialsubject Sun 23-Feb-14 16:34:14

old oil boilers are much noisier than new ones (had ours changed, huge difference), and if it is guzzling oil then it is well worth replacing - it will pay for itself in reduced consumption in about five years even if prices don't change. Which they will.

but not for the convenience of your neighbours. Especially not when they raise this problem at such an insensitive moment. And especially not when it clearly isn't that loud from their side.

unfortunately her unhinged husband is her problem. I wouldn't bother being tactful how you express that, given what she did to you.

minionmadness Sun 23-Feb-14 16:46:56

They would love us... we are in a similar setting only with 6 houses ( 3 sets of semi's).

We have oil fired central heating and it's on 24/7 (thermostat set at 19) from around October to whenever it drops below 19. The houses are 120 years old and if we don't have the heating on the house starts to feel damp.

If my neighbour made a similar request I would ask them if they were in fact taking the piss.

I mean who on earth would have the brass neck to tell someone they can't have their heating on FFS.

Jux Sun 23-Feb-14 16:59:48

When I read that he was 'elderly' I thought he's just like dh, except that dh is late 50s..... grin

DH will get himself wound up about something that isn't perfect and it will be a thorn in his side forever after. Once in a blue moon he has a point. Mostly, he's just being irascible and curmudgeonly and is best ignored.

timesarehard Sun 23-Feb-14 23:27:43

Dh has put some insulation pad things around the pump and we've booked a service. If something is broken, we'll fix it.

The more this week's gone on (and God has it gone on and on) the more annoyed I've got with them.

Anyway, we've done what we can for now. Thanks again for all your support. This thread has been a nice distraction from the awfulness that comes from losing someone you love and having to plan their funeral. I will update if and when we get to the bottom of this.

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