To think that the babysitter might tidy up??

(147 Posts)
ahcomeon Sun 16-Feb-14 09:58:23

Just back from a night out. The living room is like a bomb site! Sitter puts the kids to bed and literally sat on her ass all evening without so much as putting the toys away. Not to mention empty popcorn packets and juice cartons etc..
I couldn't sit there amongst all the crap, it would drive me nuts and I wouldn't be able to relax!
But what's pissing me off is that I handed her 60 quid for the night and she couldn't be arsed even tidying up.
Not unreasonable to expect to come back to a somewhat tidy house is it?


Babysitters don't tidy

LoopyDoopyDoo Sun 16-Feb-14 10:00:55

Mine does. Her mum is our cleaner and she comes a bit later when the kids are in bed and cleans. We pay them well. smile


I'll do it next time, I'll clean the toilet if that's what you want grin

Even at 14 getting �10 for the night I'd tidy up anything that had been brought out whilst I was in charge. If the children were old enough I'd get them to help too.


Lucylouby Sun 16-Feb-14 10:03:28

I would tidy the toys away if I was babysitting. Especially if they were paying me that much.

asmallandnoisymonkey Sun 16-Feb-14 10:04:15

You handed her 60 quid to make sure your children didn't come to any harm whilst you were out, maybe you should specify if you'd like a maid service to go along with that.

birdybear Sun 16-Feb-14 10:04:38

How long were you out for? �60?!

jennifleurs Sun 16-Feb-14 10:04:49

Any mess that's made while the babysitter was in charge should have been cleaned up IMO.

NickNacks Sun 16-Feb-14 10:05:33

If you're just back does that mean it was £60 for a full night?

That's very good and I wouldn't expect tidying up as well.

BakerStreetSaxRift Sun 16-Feb-14 10:05:51

Hmmm, I'd expect her to tidy away her own rubbish, the popcorn etc, but maybe not the toys.


ZacharyQuack Sun 16-Feb-14 10:06:11

Was the mess made while the babysitter was in charge of the children, or was it messy when she arrived at your house?

MrsDonnaLyman Sun 16-Feb-14 10:06:36

YANBU I can't imagine babysitting and not tidying away the mess that had been created while I was there. YWBU if you expected her to tidy pre-existing mess but you weren't.

Mia4 Sun 16-Feb-14 10:06:56

Agreeing with jennifleurs, she made the mess with the kids she should have tidied it with them.

Cabrinha Sun 16-Feb-14 10:07:09

Definitely should clear away any toys /food that were part of her time with them. But no more.
Grey area maybe if you have a playroom where kids can leave their own stuff out.

YellowBellow Sun 16-Feb-14 10:07:14

Anyone who thinks it's unreasonable to expect a babysitter shouldn't be expected to put rubbish in the bin, at the very unreasonable.

YANBU I always tidied up when I was a babysitter (mainly because I was bored when the kids went to bed and I wanted to make sure I'd get asked again!). If its a mess that the children made while they were under her care then she definitely should have tidied up, especially empty food wrappers!

MrsBungle Sun 16-Feb-14 10:08:07

I'd expect the babysitter to tidy any mess made whilst he/she was on duty.

MrsBungle Sun 16-Feb-14 10:08:44

Well-I'd expect the kids to tidy their mess and the babysitter to supervise and tidy their own mess.

ahcomeon Sun 16-Feb-14 10:13:42

Mess was mostly made while she was babysitting so yes I would have expected a quick tidy up before she sat down for the evening. I mean I would always have done that back when I babysat, it's just decency in my book. And also I just could not relax sitting in a mess!
I would have said something but I'd a few glasses of wine on me and did not really want to engage with her more than I had to iykwim!
It bothered me having to tidy up all the crap this morning though!

ButICantaloupe Sun 16-Feb-14 10:14:14

I think more context is needed.

1. Was the mess created by the children when you were in charge, or when the babysitter was in charge?
2. When did you leave and what time did you arrive back?

ButICantaloupe Sun 16-Feb-14 10:16:05


In that case YANBU, she hours have tidied up the mess that was created whilst she was looking after the children. She should have asked the children to help, assuming they are able to.

AngryGnome Sun 16-Feb-14 10:17:04

I wouldn't expect a baby sitter to clean my house, but picking up a few toys and tidying away the snacks she has eaten is entirely reasonable, regardless of whether you paid her £60 or £10

Supercosy Sun 16-Feb-14 10:19:36

Sorry but I think £60 is incredibly excessive and of course you should do a small amount of tidying especially your popcorn packets etc. We used to have young friends babysit when Dd was younger, we paid £20 and provide d drinks and nibbles. Dd was very easy, in bed by 8.30 and they often brought a friend along (that we'd met). We never came back after 11 and then droppes them home.

Supercosy Sun 16-Feb-14 10:20:33

That wasn't really your question, sorry! Yanbu especially at that price!

candycoatedwaterdrops Sun 16-Feb-14 10:23:13

YABU, babysitters do not tidy. How old are your kids btw? Can they not tidy?

Electryone Sun 16-Feb-14 10:25:39

Im a bit amazed at the £60 many hours was that for?

JodieGarberJacob Sun 16-Feb-14 10:28:05

Bloody hell £60! I do a whole evening for £30 and tidy, wash up, clean surfaces etc. Are you in the south east? I could do with the money grin

ahcomeon Sun 16-Feb-14 10:30:33

Slightly off topic but I just realised I converted the exchange rate incorrectly. I paid 56 euro which is 45 stg (not 60 which I said earlier) for six hours babysitting. Works out at 9 euro an hour.
Handy cash eh? The least she could do is pick up a few toys!!!

FoodieToo Sun 16-Feb-14 10:36:26

You say you are 'just back' so I assume it was an overnight?

I would definitely have expected her to pick up mess made when she was there,otherwise not really.

I just wouldn't ask her again.

candycoatedwaterdrops Sun 16-Feb-14 10:37:25

Unless your kids are tinies, why can't they pick up some toys?

SaucyJack Sun 16-Feb-14 10:42:19

YANBU. Was she a "proper" babysitter? Very slovenly and unprofessional.

TaraLott Sun 16-Feb-14 10:43:24

£45 for six hours, is that right?
So £7.50 an hour?

TamerB Sun 16-Feb-14 10:43:26

I would tidy any mess that had been made by me and the children while I was there.

lottieandmia Sun 16-Feb-14 10:44:50

When my dd was on an ABA programme I expected the tutors to tidy up after a session. This is no different. YANBU, unless the toys were all over the place to start with. And from your post I assume they weren't.

TaraLott Sun 16-Feb-14 10:45:01

Handy cash?
Well presumably that's why she did your babysitting, nothing at all wrong with her earning some money.

bearleftmonkeyright Sun 16-Feb-14 10:45:14

Yanbu, I am a midday and regularly get asked to babysit. I always have a quick tidy up when kids have gone to bed. Lazy mare! The children at pre school are expected to help tidy up so I don't think there are any excuses. Babysitting is a massive responsibility. It sounds like you've paid her more than adequately.

Panzee Sun 16-Feb-14 10:45:19

Maybe ask her next time. Sometimes it's not always clear where things go. Apart from crisp packets of course. smile

I tidy, but that's because I'm a nanny and my babysitting rates reflect that and the extra work implied. Though it also reflects the fact that I can actually get the kids to tidy up themselves before bed these days grin When I babysat before nannying I never tidied up, that was the children's job and if they didn't do it then they could in the morning with their parents watching over them. Not that I ever really noticed if things were out of place as I was in my own world hmm

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Sun 16-Feb-14 10:49:56

What she should have done is made sure your kids picked up their crap.

I am assuming she didnt leave the wrappers from her own snacks on the floor!

hugoagogo Sun 16-Feb-14 10:52:52

Sounds cheap to me, especially if your dc were fed or put to bed by the babysitter.

When I have had babysitters I always made sure the dc were in bed before they arrived and expected the babysitter to sit on the sofa, eat biscuits and watch tv-only in an emergency did they actually have to do anything.

Your comment about not being able to sit in mess indicates that you are a certain kind of person that cannot tolerate mess; therefore your idea of mess may be quite different than say mine or your baby sitter.


insancerre Sun 16-Feb-14 10:55:48

YABU if you didn't ask her to tidy up.
YANBU if you asked her and she ignored your request.

TidyDancer Sun 16-Feb-14 10:56:13

I would've personally tidied, but it think all you should've expected was for her to clear any mess she generated, which would've been the food and drinks items.

He many toys etc were out? Maybe she didn't think it was a mess, and it's just irking you more than it would her.

TidyDancer Sun 16-Feb-14 10:56:51

And yes, insancerre is right. What did you actually ask her to do?

ahcomeon Sun 16-Feb-14 10:57:40

Well she is a very sweet girl and the kids love her which is the main thing. In her own world like most kids her age so I suppose it just didn't occur to her.
Will 'gently' point it out to her next time!

Electryone Sun 16-Feb-14 10:58:11

Not sure about your "handy cash" remark OP, she earned it by babysitting your income from my job is quite "handy" to!

Supercosy Sun 16-Feb-14 11:02:26

So people don't even think someone should put their own popcorn packet in the bin? Blimey! I thought I had low standards with regards to domesticity! 6 hours is quite a long stint so can understand the pay. £45 sounds ok for that

MrsBungle Sun 16-Feb-14 11:06:00

Was it her mess op or the kids mess?

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Sun 16-Feb-14 11:07:37

I bloody do, super! There is no excuse for an adult leaving their rubbish on the floor.

I am hoping she put her own in the bin though and where she went wrong was not making the children clear their mess up. That would be a reasonable thing to ask of a babysitter - don't let the kids go to bed without tidying up after themselves.

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 11:09:29

Yanbu at all, it does not take a few mins to throw toys back in the box and take your rubbish to the trash, basic things we are taught as young children!

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken Sun 16-Feb-14 11:11:17

YANBU, I always used to tudy up children's toys or dinner mess. ANything that happened while the babysitter is in charge should be tidied by babysitter. Same as any adult

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken Sun 16-Feb-14 11:19:20

Unless your kids are tinies, why can't they pick up some toys?

Yeah, but its up to the babysitter to make them do it. Either way it should have been done under her watch

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 11:28:48

It is unacceptable to leave your rubbish around in somebody else's house and not clear it up, it's basic decency and pride, I haven't got a clue why some on here find that U, mabey they like living in rubbish!

BrianTheMole Sun 16-Feb-14 11:31:31

She should clear up her rubbish and help the kids tidy the toys. Yanbu.

Chivetalking Sun 16-Feb-14 11:37:19

I have babysat surrounded by mess but it wasn't my doing so I left it. If I'd made the mess I'd have cleared it up.

She sounds like a bit of a diva. I'd be looking elsewhere next time I wanted an evening out.

macdoodle Sun 16-Feb-14 11:38:36

How old is the babysitter. I have had a number of reg babysitters as I work one evening a week (single parent) ranging in age from 17-25, not a single one even tidied or even took snack dishes to the kitchen. The only time a babysitter tidied was when my best friend helped out, she tidied cleaned the kitchen hob and floor and did a laundry wash :-D but she is a bit ocd!

ahcomeon Sun 16-Feb-14 11:45:24

Sitter is 22, very sensible and kind girl. I gather they played some kind of game when we went out that resulted in cushions and toys everywhere, followed by popcorn and drinks and some tv before bed. Kids are 7, 5 and 3 and will always do tidy up but only if prompted!
Was so surprised that she would happily sit in that chaos all evening!

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 11:46:25

That's schocking mac doodle, we expect young children to clear up their rubbish and teach them as such, I am disgusted that adults cannot do this, basic pride and manners. I would not hire them again!

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 11:48:36

Ahcomen she should have definitely tidied or prompted tge dc to tidy up, mess resulting during the evening

Borntorun25 Sun 16-Feb-14 11:48:48

I would expect babysitter to tidy any mess made by her, eg. popcorn packet in bin, cups/plates put in kitchen, not washed up though. Toys where they were before.
I would not expect any pre existing mess to be cleared.

MissDuke Sun 16-Feb-14 12:31:02

YANBU, I would always have cleared up when babysitting, or encouraged the children to do it. I would never leave a mess for the parents to come home to, common sense surely! I am amazed that posters on here think it is fine for her to leave rubbish sitting!

Panzee Sun 16-Feb-14 12:34:48

I'm just trying to remember what it was like being a teenager.

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 12:37:11

Panzee she is 22 not a teenager, at that age i was living independently away from home,!and most certainly tidied up after myself.

DarlingGrace Sun 16-Feb-14 12:39:23

Yes she should tidy up the mess she created.

Panzee Sun 16-Feb-14 12:49:25

Oh I missed that! Was imagining a 15 year old grin

Strokethefurrywall Sun 16-Feb-14 12:50:18

DH and I went out last night, came back $60 later and our baby sitters (sitter and her girlfriend) after managing to get 2.5 year old DS into bed without a fuss, had put away all our washing up dishes and tidied the kitchen!

Completely didn't expect that and will be increasing her tip but definitely when I used to baby sit I would tidy up any mess the kids made and put rubbish in the bin. That's just basic isn't it??

blueemerald Sun 16-Feb-14 12:59:58

I occasionally babysit a 12 year old girl with profound and multiple learning difficulties (non verbal, wears nappies, cannot feed herself etc).

A certain amount of mess is created over the evening. Due to her needs I don't feel comfortable tidying up and taking my eye off her so I always tidy up when she's in bed (wash up dinner plates, put toys away, sort out the bathroom, straighten sofa cushions). I get paid £10 an hour. I would never leave the house in a mess.

bragmatic Sun 16-Feb-14 13:02:43

YANBU. Any babysitter who sat and watched telly when the kids went to bed leaving toys and a mess that could have been cleared in 15 minutes is lazy. And I don't think that should need to be spelled out to a reasonable person.

I used to babysit while I was at university. I used to tidy up any mess that was made while I was there (so I would have put away the toys/snack stuff in your case), but I didn't start cleaning the mess that was already there - for example if the family had left dirty dishes in the sink, they would still be there when they got back.

I'd expect the same from a babysitter myself so I guess YANBU if you left the house ok and came back and it was a tip. The pp's are right that she is not a cleaner but it's common courtesy to leave the house the way you found it.

sadbodyblue Sun 16-Feb-14 13:08:28

my dd is 15 and regularly babysits wouldn't dream of leaving a mess.

mind you she lives in a tidy house so one persons bloody awful mess is another persons normality.

krasnayaploshad Sun 16-Feb-14 13:11:51

I may have misunderstood but I don't think the OP is expecting the babysitter to clean the house, only tidy up any mess created while on babysitting duties.
OP - YANBU & I would have been tempted to mention something to the babysitter. Maybe next time you'll need to state expectations as the babysitter seems a bit clueless?

coldwater1 Sun 16-Feb-14 13:45:58

I used to love tidying up other peoples houses when i babysat for them. Lol

She should have at least tidied up the mess that was made while she was babysitting.

nearlythere22 Sun 16-Feb-14 14:32:39

YANBU - she could reasonably be expected to clean up any mess created while she babysits. However, at least she plays games with the children. Does she also put them to bed at a reasonable hour, make sure teeth are brushed etc (I used to babysit as a teenager - one of the mothers told me that her children told her I was the only babysitter who had ever made them brush their teeth - she was horrified at the the other babysitters!).

Even when I was 15 and got paid £3ph I tidied up!

I now get £10ph -though am considerably older then 15!...and always tidy toys away, stack the dishwasher and wipe the sides takes all of 15minutes..

CromeYellow Sun 16-Feb-14 16:27:27

I used to babysit a lot as a teenager, I never tidied up and no parent ever suggested I should. The babysitter is paid to make sure the kids are safe until you come home. If they were providing a maid service on top of that, they'd tell you and charge extra.

You keep repeating that you wouldn't be able to sit in chaos, so what? Many people can and a lot of younger people wouldn't even notice.

Sortyourmakeupout Sun 16-Feb-14 16:29:34


RafflesWay Sun 16-Feb-14 16:37:03

Flaming Nora! £60??? I'm taking up babysitting again as I am a neat freak and a mature lady grin with lots of experience as I have a dd - adult now - with SLD so youngsters with no special needs would be a piece of cake to me! YADNBU she is a lazy mare and rude to boot.

littlemisssarcastic Sun 16-Feb-14 16:46:32

If you didn't mention to babysitter that you would like her to supervise children tidying their toys away before they went to bed, and 'please keep the place tidy.' then I don't know why you automatically expect she would? Is it because you couldn't sit amongst a mess? as you keep saying because everyone is different.
Everyone's standards of tidiness are different. If you didn't mention it at all, YABU to expect her to tidy up based on the assumption that she had the same standards as you.
Lack of communication there.

As for other posters shock at the rate of pay, and the assumption she should've been clearing up on that rate of pay, £45 for 6 hours is £7.50 per hour. This is to babysit 3 DC don't forget, so £2.50 per child per hour.
I certainly wouldn't consider it easy money in any way, shape or form.

TheRealAmandaClarke Sun 16-Feb-14 16:49:20

Some people are just utterly incapable of clearing up after themselves.
Bloody annoying.

AwfulMaureen Sun 16-Feb-14 16:50:46

I wouldn't have when I was a teenager. No way!

TheRealAmandaClarke Sun 16-Feb-14 16:52:19

Different stancards are absolutely no excuse.
Wybu to expect her to do your ironing or clear up your bathroom after you'd got ready? Yes.

Picking up after herself in someone else's home is just basic good manners.
Not doing so is slovenly and rude.

Oakmaiden Sun 16-Feb-14 16:54:11

I find it interesting that the OP says that the mess was "mostly" created while the babysitter was there. So not entirely...

WitchWay Sun 16-Feb-14 16:54:30

One of my babysitters used to do the ironing - unasked, she just did it!

I'd expect any bomb site type mess that was caused during the babysitting to be tidied up & dirty cups/plates to be taken to the kitchen.

BlueDesmarais Sun 16-Feb-14 16:57:04

She shouldn't tidy up your mess but she absolutely should tidy up her own and not litter the place with juice cartons.

RafflesWay Sun 16-Feb-14 17:04:46

For £60 I would entertain 3 dc, make sure they were bathed/washed, teeth brushed etc/read bedtime stories/put any washing in washer/do any ironing AND clear away -hopefully you would have a dishwasher as unfortunately I am allergic to washing up liquid but would still soak in bubbles if not. Form a queue ladies!! Gordon Bennett, I did this as standard when I was babysitting as a teenager and wouldnt have needed to be asked. 1970's ethics!! Is that why I was busy every weekend then? I never worried about flipping hourly rates - whatever the parents thought I deserved was fine with me but I was never left unhappy.

ahcomeon Sun 16-Feb-14 17:29:38

Yeah I know I keep going on about sitting in a mess but it's only because it was such a disaster zone of a mess that I was and am completely taken aback. Anyhow, what would bug the shit out of me clearly does not bother our sitter.

Next time I'll be clear about doing a quick tidy up involving the kids before bedtime..

Pigletin Sun 16-Feb-14 17:39:06

Barring an emergency situation, I would expect the sitter to leave the house as she found it, no more, no less. Regardless of how much she got paid. Any mess created under her supervision should surely be cleaned.

Davidhasselhoffstoecheese Sun 16-Feb-14 17:47:17

If offer her 6 pounds an hour plus an extra 15 if the house is tidy when you return.

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 17:57:13

Littlemiss surely it's basic manners to clean up after yourself, she should not need reminding. It is not acceptable to leave trash lying about!

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 17:57:53

Exactly pig, leave as you find it, why is that so difficult fir some!

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 17:58:22

She should not be reminded it should be automatic!

Marylou2 Sun 16-Feb-14 18:07:20

WOW OP £60? I'll do it and tidy your living room and prepare dinner for the next day.YANBU.

I babysit and am often paid £50 or £60 for 5/6 hours. Last night I babysat from 7pm-12 and was paid £50. Their daughters went to bed at 8:30, I make sure children help me tidy up before bedtime. They ate toast before bed, I got them to put plates in the kitchen but I didn't and wouldn't wash up.

YABU expecting her to tidy up.

ravenAK Sun 16-Feb-14 18:24:07

I pay our babysitter about £60 for tea time --> small hours, & she always has the place tidier than when she arrived.

I sometimes check my facebook to see what she's up to with the kids, & it usually involves baking (complete with photo of kitchen after dd2 dropped the flour) or den-building (complete with photo of the moment ds shoved dd1 over in the mud), so I can only admire her efficiency...

On one memorable occasion I came home to find her quite flustered because the cat had had an epic attack of diarrhoea in the downstairs bathroom, & she'd freaked out & shut the door on it because it was so bogging.

She felt terribly guilty that she hadn't cleaned it up, bless her.

I wouldn't expect 'over & above' tidying, but I don't think it's unreasonable to straighten up mess you've made yourself with the kids!

BrianTheMole Sun 16-Feb-14 18:28:52

Crikey, I would expect someone to wash up the plates they had used in their role of looking after the children. Just dumping them in the sink is bone idle. No way would I be paying someone £10 an hour for that.

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 18:29:20

Why never, ident it basic decency to throw your rubbish in the bin, not leave it lying about.

pigletmania Sun 16-Feb-14 18:35:44

Yes I would expect the babysitter to wash up her plates or any plates children have used, especially for 10 ph!

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 16-Feb-14 18:45:08

As a teenager I did loads of baby sitting and I always left the house as I found it unless I found it with toys out then they would be put away.

I did do proper additional cleaning/ironing for one of my mums but tbh she had enough on her plate anyway.

No parents got any nasty surprises on their return that may be why I was always busy working and just after my 17th birthday brought myself a better car than my mother had.

I wouldn't use a sitter again if she created work for me.

pixiepotter Sun 16-Feb-14 19:05:22

So was it the kids playing the game with the toys and cushions, and the kids juice cartons and popcorn bags?
Also I am a little confused at what hours she babysat as you say you have just come in in your Op which was at 10am??
She put your Dc to bed and stayed overnight til 10 thye next morning.Tht's a lot of hours I am sure it works out muchless than £6 per hour.And no i wouldn't expect a bay sitter to clear up all the kids mess.

BrianTheMole Sun 16-Feb-14 20:34:27

And no i wouldn't expect a bay sitter to clear up all the kids mess.

Why not? Most people are expected to tidy up after themselves whatever they do. Whether its tidying up a work station and washing your cup up, or sweeping and tidying after doing building or plastering work. The baby sitter is paid to look after the children. Within that she or he is expected tidy up her own mess, and child related mess that happened at the time of looking after them. Its very odd and arrogant to think otherwise. A baby sitter who did that would not be coming back. In fact we had a nanny that didn't want to clear up after herself when she was looking after the kids too. I gave her three days to sort herself out, as she was new, she didn't sort herself out, so I called the agency and told them not to send her back anymore. And we got someone who didn't think it was beneath them to tidy up after themselves.

GoldiChops Sun 16-Feb-14 20:57:35

Well as another perspective- when babysitting, I once put away the contents of the dishwasher as it finished while I was there, beeping a lot. I literally only put away the obvious items, cupboard one was clearly kids stuff, two was glasses etc. Anything I wasn't sure of went on the side for the parents to put away. I gave a quick tidy round the living room and bathroom as I had bathed the little boy.

When the mum got back she acted a bit put out when I said I'd unloaded the dishwasher, she was a bit surprised and not in a good way. Acted a bit off as she paid, when she saw me to the door I could see her looking around the living room kind of suspiciously. I'm not sure what she thinks I've done wrong! And this was one of those jobs where they say 'help yourself' to food but I never do, makes me uncomfortable to just go through cupboards.

They've never asked me back, this used to be a regular thing, at least once a month. So now I'm careful, I will have a quick tidy of very obvious mess but nothing that involves opening cupboards. I can't afford to lose any more families.

Panzee Sun 16-Feb-14 21:28:21

Maybe she couldn't remember whether she'd been washing the sex toys that evening!

BrianTheMole Sun 16-Feb-14 21:28:27

Well I wouldn't expect someone to empty the dishwasher. Although it was nice of you to do that. Our baby sitter did the washing up once, I hadn't had time to do it. I did feel bad about that, but she said she was bored.

BrianTheMole Sun 16-Feb-14 21:28:51

Maybe she couldn't remember whether she'd been washing the sex toys that evening!


ahcomeon Sun 16-Feb-14 21:29:26

I'd have to agree with Brianthemole - surely it's part of the job? As in a given?? And no, not cleaning or doing dishes or anything heavy duty, just a cursory tidy up!
I dunno, id never have dreamed of leaving any living room in that state when I used to babysit, it just wouldn't be right to sit amongst the shit and expect to get paid after!

Pixiepotter, I wrote the original post when I got in last night but it didn't post so I reposted this morning. Sitter was on from 7pm to 1am. Nice earner IMO!

Magix Sun 16-Feb-14 21:31:37

YANBU . I wouldn't expect her to clean up my mess or the dcs mess they created before she came in , but is expect them to tidy up after themselves and tidy any mess the dcs made while they were in charge .

RaspberryRuffle Mon 17-Feb-14 00:16:51

Yes she should have cleared away rubbish, but overall YABU, you keep harping on about the mess and the fact that shock horror she accepted money to look after your THREE children for the evening. €54 might be a 'nice earner' or 'handy money' for one child but not for 3.

BrianTheMole Mon 17-Feb-14 01:12:55

Presumably they are asleep for the majority of that time though raspberry. Not like you actually have to entertain them like you would in the daytime. Where a little mess might be more justified.

YankeeMum8 Mon 17-Feb-14 04:07:24

How old is the babysitter? Ds had a 14 year old babysitter (a family friend's son) awhile ago. I assumed he would tidy up his mess and the toys he took out and was horrified to the mess I came home to when left an immaculate house.

Next time I would have spelled out my expectations. Turns out I never hired him again because he expressly ignored other much more important instructions I gave him and was so ticked off by that I never bothered to get him again.

TinyTwoTears Mon 17-Feb-14 04:47:40


At age 22 she should have tidied up. Especially rubbish. Or got the kids to do it.

Ubik1 Mon 17-Feb-14 05:06:41

Oh god,who cares.

Next time tell you want her to put the toys away after putting kids to bed.

candycoatedwaterdrops Mon 17-Feb-14 16:43:38

grin at OP keeping on saying "nice earner" as if she is doing the babysitter a favour. It is a mutual agreement that benefits both parties and btw the money paid is very average, nothing special about it.

Next time, ask her; to please remind the kids to tidy up (unless they are toddlers and even then, they can help her).

Def should tidy up i always do been known to empty dishwasher if its been on n finishes while i there.

I am in leicestershire n charge �15/hr n don't think unreasonable as a qualified children nurse but babysit generally for those have night nannied for or children with additional needs either physical or medical or some parents just like the reassurance of a children nurse looking after their children i do have many yrs experience though

Itmustbeme Mon 17-Feb-14 21:04:27


I babysat last night from 6.30-11.30. I got paid £10 per hour in theory.... I owe my employer some extra hours as a nanny so this was an IOU.

In that time I read to the children, emptied and reloaded the d/washer, disinfected the Worktop, hoovered the kitchen floor, made packed lunches for today, did 4 x washing/tumble drying and putting it away and I ironed and put away 14 men's shirts!

If I was there an extra 30mins I would have cleaned the bathroom too.

I like to earn my money.

winterhat Mon 17-Feb-14 21:08:16


If there are certain things you'd like her to do, mention them beforehand instead of expecting her to be a mind-reader.

Proseccoisnotrah Mon 17-Feb-14 21:12:26

I wouldn't expect a babysitter to tidy either, except perhaps up after herself. No need for wrappers etc.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Mon 17-Feb-14 21:12:55

yanbu it would have bugged me as well
it wouldn't stop me asking her again but I ould make it very clear next time as I left that I would like the childrens things tidying away before they go to bed.

BrianTheMole Mon 17-Feb-14 23:16:18

You sound great itmustbeme. If you were local to me I'd just be happy if you cleared up the mess that was created that night and got the kids off safely to bed. I love your attitude. You wouldn't need to do the rest, just eat the pizza I bought you and put your feet up, once the kids were asleep.

BackforGood Mon 17-Feb-14 23:26:44

I probably would have popped the cushions back on the sofa, and thrown toys into a box if there was an obvious one, if I were the sitter, but I find it hard to believe you are so enraged about it.
You paid someone around £45 to look after 3 children, who were still up when you went out, and to stay until 1am. The dc were all fine. They all like the sitter. You had a good night. Both you and she were happy with the money handed over.
It's really not worth getting all worked up about in the scheme of things.

poopadoop Mon 17-Feb-14 23:39:16

the snide 'nice earner' asides are ridiculous - she's there to make sure your kids are safe, how much do you think is fair for that? If you're paying her the going rate, then you are paying her the going rate. Just ask her to do a quick tidy after the kids next time, no big deal, and don't make such a mountain out of a molehill!

pixiepotter Tue 18-Feb-14 08:12:52

so 6 hours for £45 is £7.50 an hour I am not sure it is a great little earner especially as after midnight

falulahthecat Tue 18-Feb-14 08:21:05

YANBU - when I babysat I used to get a measly £3 an hour (was a decade ago but pfft) and I put away/threw away anything I got out.
worst bit was the woman was a health freak so there weren't even any good nibbles.

Tailtwister Tue 18-Feb-14 08:27:05

YANBU if the mess was created after you left. If the place was a bomb site before she arrived then I wouldn't expect her to tidy.

candycoatedwaterdrops Tue 18-Feb-14 08:29:31

"I like to earn my money."

A nanny is different to a casual babysitter. I do earn hmm my money babysitting for my regular family. I do my job; play with the children, encourage them to tidy up if there is a mess, bath time and bedtime, cuddle the little one when she cries during the night. Sometimes I barely get to sit down and the parents have arrived home. I am a babysitter, not a childcare provider. If you want Mary Poppins, then you pay for it and employ accordingly. I do tidy up but I don't do housework.

ScarlettMantleplume Tue 18-Feb-14 08:37:07

To all you posted who think that the babysitter is underpaid, nine euros an hour is bloody good money even where I am. It's way over the minimum wage for a 22 year old, and presumably tax free which bumps it up even more. You can't just convert the euro into Stirling to make a comparison. You have to remember that different countries have different economic conditions. If the OP is in Ireland it's decent money, if she's in Spain the babysitter is laughing all the way to the bank.

ZenNudist Tue 18-Feb-14 08:37:49

Should have said something at the time. 'We always encourage the children to tidy up before bedtime.The amount of mess you've left would discourage me from employing you again.'

candycoatedwaterdrops Tue 18-Feb-14 08:47:34

People didn't comment that she was underpaid, just that it's not as freaking fantastic as the OP seems to think.

schokolade Tue 18-Feb-14 08:48:25

If you want him/her to clean up, ask at the beginning of the evening.

I had this once when I was 14. The parents came home (2 hours late) and were not happy I hadn't washed the dinner dishes (I arrived long after dinner had finished!). I told them where to get off, but you can't expect the sitter to know and accept/decline if you haven't specified the terms of the contract.

scottishmummy Tue 18-Feb-14 08:51:21

Yes I agree,she should put away mess she/they,wrappers etc

LittleBearPad Tue 18-Feb-14 08:55:16

She should have got the children to put away the cushions etc or done it herself. If she causes the mess then she should be responsible for tidying it up one way or another. And throwing out rubbish isn't too much to ask. YANBU.

BrianTheMole Tue 18-Feb-14 08:59:31

Crikey, I would have thought it was common sense to clear up after yourself, not something that is the terms of the contract. Imagine being offered an office job, and saying I can't accept it unless I know its ok to leave my dirty cups on the desk and my dirty wrappers all over the place, as I don't want to clear up after myself grin. Theres some entitled fuckers on here.

BrianTheMole Tue 18-Feb-14 09:02:07

<Not that I'm saying you're an entitled fucker Shokolade. I have no idea if you are or not grin>

divisionbyzero Tue 18-Feb-14 09:19:53

OK, firstly it is quite correct to say a babysitter is not a tidier and they should not be under any obligation to tidy however it may be a reflection of the person you're hiring that they don't pick up and put away after themselves.

It also depends on the state of your house. If it is minging for instance, I would not expect anyone to get involved in tidying up, in it. If it is spick and span and they're messing it up, they may be a generally crap person.

Looks like you're trying to hire a proper nanny on that money, so maybe you should ask your sitters agency when you next hire- some sitters agencies have a few on their books.

Chummiestwin Tue 18-Feb-14 09:49:45

Division there is no excuse for tge sitter leaving rubbish on tge floor and around, especially after op has said her house was tidy beforehand, if she was a messy person she would not be bothered by it

FrenchJunebug Tue 18-Feb-14 10:29:54

am I the only person to think that £45 to look after THREE children for 6 hours is not much money!?

LittleBearPad Tue 18-Feb-14 10:36:14

Seems perfectly reasonable to me French. Especially as the children will mainly be asleep.

scottishmummy Tue 18-Feb-14 10:42:22

Cannot see why emphasising THREE kids makes point.op has paid fair rate

FrenchJunebug Tue 18-Feb-14 10:53:18

my childminder/babysitter gets pay per child. And looking after three children for that amount of time is exhausting. Unless she was specifically asked no reasons to tidy.

LittleBearPad Tue 18-Feb-14 10:58:40

Not when they are asleep!

FrenchJunebug Tue 18-Feb-14 10:59:15

they weren't asleep as they play for a large of amount of time!

scottishmummy Tue 18-Feb-14 11:08:21

Op paid Fair rate.babysitting isn't exactly skilled arduous work

nannynewo Tue 18-Feb-14 11:08:31

I don't like the way you said that she is 22 years old and it wouldn't occur to most kids her age. 1. she is not a kid. 2. I am a 21 year old who does lots of babysitting, and so do lots of my friends my age. None of us would leave a big mess, we would do a quick tidy up to make sure the house was in order. 3. I would expect her to at the very least tidy away any games they play. and 4. I do not think it is most people her age, I would say she is just a bit lazy and probably needs prompting.
FWIW, when I babysit and the kids are in the middle of eating, I will even wash up all the dishes once the kids are in bed, the parents do not expect this at all, but I think it is nice that the parents can come home and just relax, instead of needing to worry about the little things that only take a few minutes for me to do.

LittleBearPad Tue 18-Feb-14 11:14:32

Babysitter was in charge from 7pm. Oldest child is 7. They were in bed from 9? Worst case 10pm. At least half of the time the babysitter was working she had no children to run round after.

Ubik1 Tue 18-Feb-14 16:24:40

Ha when I was babysitter I used to get a fiver and a value pizza!

Ubik1 Tue 18-Feb-14 16:26:33

Sorry but €9/ hour? and people think she was underpaid? Do any if you live in the real world?

Ragwort Tue 18-Feb-14 16:30:53

Is this a boasting thread about our babysitting days?

I can remember asking for 15p (yes, fifteen pence) an hour grin in the early 70s and I always washed and tidied up. and swigged sherry from the decanter.

I would love to get some babysitting work now, I am in my 50s, CRB checked and an experienced mum. smile

candycoatedwaterdrops Tue 18-Feb-14 20:19:50

Competeitive misery:

I babysit for 4 week old quadruplets and 2 year old triplets, the latter suffer from chronic insomnia. I got paid 10p an hour for 8 hours from 7 pm till 3 am. I still get time to sweep the chimney and scrub the floors with my personal toothbrush.

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