To ask: does anybody else think that they're just really crap at everything...(110 Posts)
all the time?
Seriously, I know I've survived to reach my mid-thirties, so I must have got some things right at some point. But I can't seem to go through a day without cocking something up. Burning the dinner, forgetting my phone, paying a bill late...
Does anybody else get that feeling, or is it just me?
That's me! Something will always go wrong, normally and thankfully nothing serious, but if it could go wrong, it'll be to me!
Anything to do with technology? Yes! Computers etc just seem to break, stop working, whatever. How I've not been sacked, I don't know. (I am chained to my work computer 24 hours a week.) I really should have thought about it more, before I went for the job...
Me.Today, for example, we went out for lunch: I ordered a glass of wine and knocked it straight into my bowl of pasta. Bye bye wine (sob), inedible pasta. That's typical, unfortunately.
I am absolutely crap at everything.
Constantly lurching from one disaster to the next. I have a memory like a sieve and have only recently religiously writing everything down. But
laziness ennui sets in and I burn the dinner, am late on school run, forgot pe kits and dinner money.
*should read started religiously! Doyou see? Crap at mumsnetting.
Yes, absolutely. I am a crap parent who is crap at my job. C'est la vie.
Yes, I crap at most things. Have bad 2 successful careers. Always waiting to be found out
Today alone i have missed a bill, burnt the toast and broken a glass. Its not even a particularly bad day.
Look at how badly worded my post is, further evidence of my crapness.
Starting to learn to drive at 41 is a real eye-opener in terms of realising the depth of your own personal cheapness at things. How can virtually everyone else do it when I am finding it impossible?
I don't think I'm crap at small things like making the dinner or whatever, but bigger things - yes. I think I'm quite crap at being a mother, and not that great at my job either .
Pigeonhouse, I'm a terrible driver (overcautious rather than dangerous, I hasten to add). I can only do it because I learnt at 17 - I'm much the same age as you and if I'd left it till now to learn, I'd really struggle. I don't drive if I can help it, and as I live in London I rarely have to.
I feel like I'm crap at everything. I hope that this is because of 'black and white' thinking that my psychiatrist says is due to depression, and that with treatment I will start to think differently about myself. Do you have any other symptoms that suggest you could be depressed or just this one worry about being crap at everything? Most people feel like they're coasting at some stage, or that you could be 'discovered' for not being as good at your job or similar at some stage. So, it could just be normal for you, to be a bit self-deprecating. I think it's also a bit of a British thing too, lol.
I feel the same way.
A toxic combination of foot in mouth syndrome, clumsiness and ineptitude has stalked me since birth. I really feel like I am acting like an adult.
I'm crap at relationships. And I'm also crap at all sorts of everyday things like cooking, keeping the house clean and tidy, mending even the simplest of gadgets, driving, remembering to go shopping, getting the bills paid, finding a plumber and so on. I have evidence that I'm not crap at my job (I've held my current one down for several years and I gather that most of my colleagues think I'm competent and have high standards) but it doesn't feel that way to me, and like Philoslophy I'm just waiting to be found out.
The only thing I think I'm good at is spelling. TBH I'd rather be able to make a nice meal and have someone to share it with.
I'm crap at everything. Every time I feel I'm finally getting something right, someone kindly points out I'm cocking things up in other areas.
The only way to ever succeed is to completely reinvent myself and become someone else, but I don't seem to be able to do that. I am stuck with myself.
Yes! I'm naturally clumsy and it has a big impact on my day to day life. Also I strongly suspect I'm crap at motherhood and wife hood despite loving my kids and husband dearly
Because I have no-one else to do it, I attempted to hang a roller blind today. As I expected, it didn't go well
I hate diy because I'm so unbelievably crap at it.
Yes i generally am crap at life. Was just saying to my friend last night that i dont think im doing any good at all for my dcs and am probably damaging them. Would like to be able to just get through a day without losing my head and flapping about shouting at them.
I sometimes wonder what is so different bewteen me and the people who breeze through life when jut getting through a day all fed and clean is an acheivement for me
I never meet any of you in real life! I'm alone in my absolute uselessness IRL.
I can't drive, I'm lazy so CBA cleaning, have no pride in my house, life or much tbh, I have no money, very few friends & am crap at role playing games with my DSs.
I have no idea what kind of job I could do now - probably nothing. My body fell apart after DS2 so I can't even birth children properly.
I currently feel like I've failed at everything. I'm not a very good mother, my marriage broke up and I can't seem to get my career back on track after taking time out to be a SAHM. But then I was fairly crap at my job too.
It is a well known fact in our house that if I touch anything that is to do with technology then it will go wrong. How I even manage to get a post on here is quite frankly amazing.
My 3 year old DGS has to show me how to play a DVd, I can never work out which remote does what. When the Sky flashes up that I am recording 2 programmes and I have to choose which one to cancel I always cancel the wrong one etc etc.
My DP reckons I should get a job setting challenges for the Apple troubleshooters as whenever he passes me his Ipad to look at something I manage to do something to make the screen change and he has no idea what I have just done.
My usual cry is Whaaat, I didn't even touch anything!
Yup signing in. Can't do relationship my home is reasonably tidy but far from perfect. How do some manage it all?
Another crap one here. I've managed to maintain a facade of perfectness and keeping it all together until recently and now I as a near 40 it's all falling apart. I've always known that I was crap but managed to hide it so well. Now the cracks are showing at work at at home and my true crapiness is being revealed. Perhaps it's just getting older I don't have the energy and my brain is more scrambled than ever before.
I know this thread is lighthearted, but it is very sad to see so many compassionate, warm, thoughtful women rushing on to admit that they are 'crap'. We absolutely all have these days, moments, sometimes weeks, but dwelling on it will only make you feel bad. Acceptance that whatever it is has not gone well but that there are other things that went well is the only way not to dwell in it. I can't help but feel that men wouldn't do this.
Oh gid I feel exactly like that! Crap mother, crap wife, crap at keeping the house clean, not s great cook, rubbish at relationships with family and friends. Constantly feel like my husband is one day going to realise how horrible I am and leave, and that most people just put up with me. And as for my career, it is a miracle I have one!
I suppose something goes wrong everyday but I tend to focus on the good stuff so it doesn't get me down.
Life is about attitude. I could get pissed off at being stuck in traffic like the bloke next to me, or I could welcome the opportunity to listen to my favourite music and sing my head off. We are both in the same situation yet he has high blood pressure and I'm having a brilliant time . No point getting het up over stuff you can't change.
I don't think I am crap but I am decidedly average. I am not sure if that amounts to a stealth boast on this thread. I don't do anything we'll. I have no secret talents or areas of expertise. I am average.
I regularly burn the dinner, forget stuff and loose things.
Yeah but even on random some of u us are dealt a bad hand
Yep another crap at everythinger here! I try and fail quite often, my self esteem has taken a right battering lately
Is it lighthearted? Ok, I know I often lift up my own foibles for other people's amusement ( might as well use them for something) and I know I do suffer with depression.
But I guess that by this age, I expected to feel more... Competent. I do know people who are organized, have lovely homes and impressive careers, washboard stomachs and no peanut butter in their hair, who don't fall over when walking. What makes me so different?
I am always ballsing things up, but on the rare times I do something right it's like I won a million pounds.
The one and only thing I'm good at is being a waste of space.
It looks different from the outside for all of us. On the surface I have a fantastic career, lovely home, gorgeous DD, I still fear I'll fuck it up, think the house is a mess, had a MC last year, but a recent course of counseling has really helped me to appreciate and celebrate the good.
Yep me too. I'm crap at being a good partner (I actually think I'm self sabotaging it because I've never seen a functional normal relationship). I shout regularly at the kids. Since I went back to work I've been giving them crap food far too often. My house is a tip, I cba to clean or tidy it. I don't have any friends, they can obviously see through the facade. The only reason do hasn't left me is because of the kids.
I have no friends either ThePigOfHappiness
I cried at my toothpaste today. I don't know why. How crap is that?
Yep. I don't go through a day where I don't feel utterly shit at everything. I can't get anything right. I don't have one single friend, when my children were born I had no one to call or text to tell them about it. Just all round utter crapness.
We could all meet up to support each other in our crapness, and exchange tales of woe. But I'd probably be lost, late, have my knickers on show or set fire to the venue...
Oh, I don't know, I'm finding this thread kind of liberating. Like a sort of AA meeting where I can stand up and say 'My name is Pigeonhouse and I'm a terrible learner driver, an underachieving academic, the world's slowest novelist, a dreadful dresser, and a frazzled mother to a toddler. Oh, and I couldn't cope with labour at all.'
On the other hand, in real life I get very irritated with other women being self-deprecating. A predominantly male gathering (even an anonymous one) is pretty unlikely to have hordes of men queuing up to admit they are piss-poor as parents, husbands, fathers, pool-players etc.
I cock up several times a day and someone likes to rub that in my face at least once a day. I too don't know how I survived to my 30s.
Yup, I feel generally crap at everything. I'm an underachiever, but think tbh it's because I'm not capable of achieving anything.
I'm also another one with no friends. Probably because of my massive inferiority complex. Ho hum.
yes I'm crap at everything
except procrastinating and being disorganised
It is a bit more fun to look at it that way. For example, I am the BEST at leaving my keys in the front door. And my selection of single socks is simply breathtaking.
Thank you all. This thread has made me laugh, at myself, first real laugh for an age. My name's NoodleOodle and I'm crap at washing up and dealing with my mail in anything like a timely manner.
Oh god, the post... I fear the "admin pile" that never seems to get any smaller.
Also, I can't print things at work, and once burned pizza in a microwave so badly that the microwave was destroyed.
Yep, I totally sympathise. I struggle to think of anything useful that I'm good at. I'm ok at running, spelling, and making people laugh but severely lack basic skills in cooking, driving well, parking, making things, etc etc. However I think I'm a pretty good mum and wife despite this
Another incompetent here too...
How 3 DC made it to adulthood is one of those mysteries of the universe!
I seem to have been crap at everything this last few weeks (since DS2 arrived 8 weeks ago). I can't get anything done, when I try it seems to take. 5x longer or be 5x harder than it should be. I've been particularly crap today - every conversation with DH has ended in argument, DS1 had been fed crap, I've had no tea (DH going to a party with food so he'll be fine) and watching the Winter Olympics had reminded me how utterly crap I am at all sports.
I shall spend the rest of the night doing the one thing I truly excel at - eating chocolate and watching shite on telly.
cannot do anything well! I used to think I did my job well
in fact I know I do but I have so many clashes at work I think I'm bad at working with others, my life is like an episode of Miranda but not funny anymore, on good days I think maybe I'm put here to give others a laugh on bad days I can't see a reason at all
I'm not good at relationships or friendships - have none really
But, I think it's the way we look at things.
If I do anything that seems to turn out well (how?) I don't think, "Oh, I did well" but "when will it break/fall down/go wrong"
Another one feeling utterly crap in the friend department. Feeling pretty lonely IRL at the moment. Better at admin but that is not amazingly helpful!
Such a shame that so many of us feel that we're a bit crap. More of a shame that some of is feel we don't have friends because of this. We should sort out a crap quiche
there wasa thread about what you are good at
and i couldn#'t think of a single thing, i do not excel at anything, i am a below average to average at every aspect
Yes. My life feels very messy and unorganised. I'm forever late for everything, rushing around carrying too much stuff and dropping things, loosing important stuff or not being able to operate machinery (we got a breadmakers last month, you wouldn't believe the amount of times I've added too much salt/forgotten yeast/turned the fucking thing off halfway through and then thought ahhhh have to start from scratch - that's another 3 bloody hours until I can have a sandwich!!!) And everyone else seems so bloody neat and tidy and organised and perfect! How????
Only just driven home at 1:30am and forgotten my bleeding phone again. And left my chocolate stash in the work's fridge. So hungry for chocolate...
I lIke the sound of a crap quiche. Coincidentally, my one attempt at making quiche was awful and may have resulted in An evening in the toilet.
Yes I have found that post mat leave I am making more mistakes at work than I used to and things that I used to be quick at, I no longer can keep up with. I am shattered and feel like a walking zombie.
I'm crap at everything and my long suffering DH is very competent and capable which
here's me about to make excuses for myself facilitates my crapness So he's good at his job, can cook, DIY, get along with people, be a brilliant dad ...
Crap at many many things others find easy. Can't drive even after umpteen years of lessons. When my daughter was diagnosed with dyspraxia EVERYTHING MADE SENSE. I have all the symptoms too but can't afford £700 to be privately diagnosed. Explains huge amounts of my clumsy crapness.
I feel like this too. Can't work out how other people in my position have calm neat organised lives while my day to day existence is shambolic. Pigeon I am learning to drive late in life too! I'm nearly there, my next (6th) test is gonna be a pass, but it's all down to having a nice supportive instructor who doesn't make me feel like I'm crap at it (so important to find someone like that).
Yes! I am crap at everything too. I think I am reasonably intelligent but its like there is a block between that and accomplishing everyday small things. I am forgetful, messy, disorganised, get tired easily, scruffy, bad at making friends, bad parent, bad driver and parker, rubbish at my job even though i have done it for years, bad at cooking even though i have put a lot of effort in to learning to cook, rubbish at gardening, knitting, bad at looking after my dog thank god dh likes walking her.
A lot of the things i am bad at are things i really want to do well, like parenting or my job.
I'm crap at house stuff and my house is falling down around me. If I buy something I tend to break it before it's out of the packet, have taped my bike lights onto bike as broke them while fitting them. Broke patio door handle last week so now door won't close, and can't manage basic tasks. Did something really embarrassingly clumsy two weeks ago that would out me on here, but thing that upset me was that it was so bloody typical of me. I'm trying to stop wishing I was someone else as it's unlikely to happen at my age
Funnily enough, or not, I feel like this a lot. And I wonder, am I crap at everything? Have I always been? I didn't used to think I was, for example, when I was single. I thought I was good at lots of things, now I don't feel this way.
Im crap at most things. and i know very little about anything too. i exist in my own little bubble.of rubbishness.
On the other had I am glad it is not just me.
I'm terrible at everything. I'm an awful wife and constantly waiting for my husband to realise how bad I am and leave me. I try my best at my job but it's never enough. I have very few friends, the one good friend I do have is brilliant at everything and makes sure everybody knows it so being around her is a constant reminder of all the things I can't get right. I'm six months pregnant and absolutely terrified that I'm going to fail miserably as a mother. No one knows I feel this way
I can be like this, I do have Dyspraxia though....as does DS. I live in semi organised chaos.....I can get DS to school on time, he has his medication, breakfast and the right clothes etc but it's a huge effort to get it all done. I exist with lists......and manage to get most things ticked off. I have a fab book called "Living with Dyspraxia..A Guide for Adults" which has been a God send.
I sill spend a lot of time beating myself up and not feeling good about any of my achievements. Recently I was asked to be part of a Panel looking at Excellence in Education for our town, I am on it to represent the views of the parents living in the town. The fact that anyone thought me "good enough" and "articulate enough" to do this was a revelation to me. I was actually asked to apply (it is a voluntary role)...and was amazed.
I have had long chats with my GP about my Dyspraxia and how it has left me feeling not good about myself. She points out that I have achieved...and achieved well. I know this is true......but when I have lost my keys for the umpteenth time that day it doesn't feel very true.
Today my list is about tackling the downstairs rooms which are a mess/untidy. I will start in one quarter and work round in 20 minute bursts.....the only way it works for me.
When I was a HV it was awful, I would visit all these beautifully tidy and clean homes....sometimes with four+ children in them. I used to feel soooooo inadequate lol. I always said I was the messy woman's HV....I simply did not notice if a house was untidy....only if it was really filthy...and it had to be truly filthy to get my attention. I certainly noticed all those clean and tidy homes though....and used to wonder "how do you do it"? It didn't occur to me that many would have tidied up simply because "the HV is coming to see me". (Really people, you need not have bothered on MY account...I am the more human HV )
Likewise.....my colleagues all seemed to be married to wealthy professional men/high earning men and lived in beautiful homes buying bespoke furniture and posting it all to Facebook. Meanwhile I was divorced and had to be rehoused by the council....to the local sink estate. God I felt so unworthy surrounded by them all.....all so settled and organised. Coupled wth the effects of the Dyspraxia it left me feeling useless and as though "I hadn't quite made it".
Am glad I left Health Visiting.....am now a volunteer parent supporter and looking at becoming a teaching assistant. The house is less untidy these days but I have strategies in place to help.
Aw Pixie, you will be a GREAT mother, your baby will be loved for a start and that's a pretty good base for any baby to start from. Is your DH supportive? Could you talk to him or your GP about how you feel?
If it's any comfort I was terrified before DS was born......but it was fine....not simple (I learned as I went along) but it was okay and I loved him. The housework went to pot though....and it was never great/easy to start with.
....and the award goes to....:@
Pixie, you will be brilliant. It's the mums who don't worry who aren't so good.
Periwonkle, I felt confident until I met DH's super-achieving family!
Sinister, I cried the other day because on the rare occasion I was left in charge of making bread, I forgot to put the blade in the breadmaker!
I have three roles in life - wife, mother and teacher. I feel that I am no good at any of them. I have a shocking memory. I am forever forgetting to take stuff out of the washing machine. The load currently in there is on its third cycle!
D's has an ASD and I know he needs structure but I keep forgetting to stick to the plan.
DH suffers my ineptitude with such fortitude!
Bb01 breadmakers are evil!!
Ok so I've to be up at 550 in the morning to get kids to childminder and get myself across town to work for 730. In still not in bed, only getting clothes ready now and panicking drying socks in the microwave! I've sat on my arse on the internet all evening- could have organised it sooner but no, procrastinating is the best way!
I've also realised that I've no keys for work so will either have to wait it out in the car until someone comes in or go to another unit and proclaim my crapness...
Place is still a kip, I've been off for 8 days and did nothing with my time. And were moving this month. Nothing is packed! Aaaargh!
I'm glad I found this thread because I thought it was just me. IRL it seems that most people I know are super organised and good at everything!
Am meeting some friends tomorrow. Even on the emails arranging the get together one has said "we will meet at 7pm but sinisterbuggymonth will probably tip up at 9.39.
I'm thinking ODFO!
If you think of the number of gifted and 'bright' children that you hear of
all the bloody time, especially on Mumsnet then statistically you have to have loads of average and under average people to even things out.
Someone has to do it
Oh God yes I feel that way too. And then I feel worse because I feel like I'm also failing at positive thinking!
I am sooo forgetful, I feel like things just fall through the cracks. I've realised I need to write things down and set reminders on my phone as soon as I think of something to stop me forgetting. I am often late. I'm trying to work on that by setting off half an hour earlier than I think I need to and setting a reminder on my phone to do so but it is a struggle. And my house looks like a disaster zone. You are not alone!
I've never had a very successful career, thought motherhood was my calling. Turned out I'm not very good at that either! My house isn't pristine and I'm very disorganised. I'm so glad I found this thread!
Could we all just live in the same town together? It would be an untidy, badly run town with a constantly late public transport system, the roads would be littered with bad parking and Currys would never go out of business. But, atleast we would feel good about ourselves for a change!
Who's moving to Craptown with me? (Must think of a less crap name!)
We could live in CRAPSTONE in Devon.
Yes I want to live in Craptown. Dh can't come as he is too competent but he is rubbish at diy so he can pop over to put up a wonky shelf and leave mowing the lawn till next
Crapstone needs a Ministry of Crap too!
Administer the crapness of the town in a crap disorganised manner. Nothing would ever get done!
[dons bossy hat] Ok everyone who is putting themselves down needs to stop because I see people on here every day being kind and giving advice to strangers and being supportive and I refuse to believe that you're all crap because I've SEEN differently. So there.
I don't know whether I'm crap or just lazy.
I get up every day with such big intentions but just waste everyday in a tired haze of procrastination, Candy Crush or naps.
It does feel a bit cathartic to to get all the crap out on the table, as it were.
Since my last post, I have:
-realized I forgot to register DD2 for school and missed the deadline
-Left my phone at home when I went to work
-Let the pasta boil over
-Left my phone at work when I went home
-Put a plastic cheese packet on the hob, immediately after removing boiled over pasta. It's now melted on.
-Lost the lid to the pesto WHILE I WAS USING IT. I now have lidless pesto.
-Left the front door unlocked while I went on the school run.
-Lifted the edge of the rug to discover two chocolate coins from someone's Christmas stocking. Win!
In Crapstone, can I run for election as the Minister of Keys? If everybody could just pass their keys over, I'll proceed to lose them all in a disorderly fashion.
Can I move to Craptown too please?
I don't get up til 8:10 even though I have to leave at 8:35. I leave the kids to get themselves ready I just cover my greasy hair with a hat and shove my coat on over my manky jumper.
I can't be arsed to do housework.
I'm crap at dealing with bills so leave it all to DH.
My memory is atrocious.
I can't cook.
I'm a crap conversationalist.
I can't drive.
I forget to do 'girly' things like plucking my eyebrows and moisturising then wonder why I suddenly look like shite.
I can, however, make a great cup of tea.
When I sleep away from home, I almost invariably lose my pants.
This is unfortunate, because I often have sleepover shifts at work. Two times, colleagues have had to return my undergarments to me the next week.
(Please, somebody report something more crap than that... Don't let the thread rest upon my wandering knickers!)
I will be running for the craptown chamber too. Took a wrong turn on the way to work and had to go the whole way around two and one way systems before I figured out how to get to work
I was meant to bring my squares for woolly hugs to work to see in the ends on my lunch and brought the needles but forgot the bloody squares. Doh.
Yesterday's pants (sensibly large and covered in primroses) once escaped down the leg of my jeans as I was sitting in the 6th form common room...my face is burning with embarrassment just thinking about it.
Will that do you, new?
On the way home from Disneyland Paris with dd1 I didn't close my suitcase properly and I trailed clothes through departures of cdg airport without noticing. Someone had to stop me and I had to frantically pick up my clothes.
Will that do?
Ah-ha, I'm glad I'm not the only one whose experienced trouser-escaping knickers. (In my case, also at work. Why do they still employ me?)
At school I felt very average and blended into the background. I was shy and awkward so a major target for bullying.
I am far better at English and just did not 'get' mathematics at all.
I have friends who excelled in mathematics and I am in awe of them. I am in awe of doctors, lawyers, surgeons, CEO's. To me it is a certain type of person who has these job roles.
I remember doing an experiment at university and I had three attempts whilst my peers did well the first time. I
cried my eyes out felt well and truly thick then.
I am in a first level senior job and would like to move up. Part of me is comfortable in current role and worried I have not got what it takes to be any more than I am.
I am good at;
Administration at home and work
Keeping our home clean and tidy
Being a loyal friend
Speaking to others
Managing on a few hours sleep
Presenting myself well I.e. appearance
I'm useless at being assertive in my private life. I'm far too nice.
I can do it perfectly well in my job, but only when actually doing the job, not the whole admin malarkey around it.
I used to think I was crap as a mother but all things considered I think didn't too badly.
I'm bloody brilliant at knitting and crochet. Very useful, that..
I can make candles out of the wax from Babybels. They make great crappy Christmas presents. "Here, I made you this. It came from cheese..."
There was a boy in primary school who used his baby bel wax to make models out of. If was gross
Im crap at my job and being a parent too.
I dont cook or clean (luckily DH does),
I always have a moan in my head about having to help the DCs do their homework (and other school relating stuff)
Im crap at making conversation,
Im crap at making friends (was just thinking in the bath that I know loads of people who have one or two best friend their whole life, I have no-one like that, I have no-one who I can rely on to be there for me or vice versa)
Im really really crap at decisions, from the really important ones (like should we move house, have another child etc) to the mundane ones (like do I have tea or coffee, watch this or that)
PigofHappiness primary school classmate could come to Crapstone with his crappy models.
Stop!!! I love you all!!!
We're all human beings doing what we can. One thing goes wrong every day? Only one thing? Brilliant! Thinks of all the other things that didn't!
Give yourselves some love!!! And here's some from me!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(I'm crap with children... Absolutely pants.)
I just remembered another thing I am good at - being disciplined. If for example, I want to lose weight, I put plans into place until I see the results.
What things are you all good at?
I'm good at less practical things eg listening to people, making people laugh, making up silly songs to cheer DD up!
Rverything? No not quite but there was a time when I did now I just think I'm verging on rubbish at most things. You can't be all the time can you? Surely you don't burn the dinner everytime do you?
I'm brilliant at everything, I don't know if that sort of counts?
I'm crap at everything. Child raising, cooking, working, tidying, talking to people without sounding like a gimp (actually I'm good at talking to people and sounding like a gimp!!) just everything.
Never had a career, only jobs.have got no drive or determination for anything.im nearly 35. Don't think it's fixable tbh :-/
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