To ask how much you and your spouse would spend on each other for a present for a big milestone birthday?

(74 Posts)
deliverdaniel Fri 07-Feb-14 03:06:56

Just that really? What would you/ did you spend for a milestone birthday present? Would you consider yourselves to be on a tight budget or relatively comfortable?

Thank you!

bluebeanie Fri 07-Feb-14 04:07:21

I've just turned 30. Dh spent about £70. We're not that bothered about expensive gifts. Our budget is usually £30.

I think we both spent about 1k on each others 30th gifts (v posh weekends away)

But this was when we had no DC, were renting, both FT and lots of expendable income.

Now it would be a lot less! Maybe £200 on a night away & meal?

Electryone Fri 07-Feb-14 04:29:12

My DH gave me flowers and we had a meal out for my 40th so probably about �50....we have just booked 3 nights in New York in December for his 40th so a lot more than �50!!! But I still get to go and enjoy it to! It is a one mind you.

singaporeswing Fri 07-Feb-14 04:31:57

Watching with interest - it's DP's 30th in a couple of months and not sure on what to get him, what to spend etc.

I'm 5 years younger and have been a student for most of our time together. I'm now in a good job, earning decent money and low outgoings.

I'm thinking along the same lines as LastOne, around the 1k mark including a weekend in Thailand, meal and presents.

Blueuggboots Fri 07-Feb-14 04:42:51

We both agreed that the monetary cost of a present didn't matter - big or small - it's the thought behind it.
I got a painting for Christmas that cost a lot of money, but also got a USB "mixed tape" that had songs on that mean something to us. Opposite ends of the scale monetary wise but both fantastic presents. grin

scantilymad Fri 07-Feb-14 04:45:58

I just turned 30 and DH was ridiculously generous. I promise I'm not a spoiled brat but consisted of surprise night away in 5 star hotel with private dining for 10 friends, champagne, chocolate and flowers in room. Also embarrassed to say he also treated me to handbag I had liked for ages and a car. Prob about £8k altogether. It was fantastic but we don't normally do much for other birthdays or spend much other times of the year.
It was more the thought he had put in to everything that was overwhelming.
For his 40th next year I am already saving for a trip.

Chottie Fri 07-Feb-14 05:11:09

I've been with DP for a long time (40 years smile) and over that time our financial situation has been up and down. It's the thought, not the money that's important. The most DP has spent was a 5* holiday somewhere hot and a diamond ring and the least was a plant for the garden and a cup of coffee in bed (first thing in the morning and DP is not a morning person).

If you have the money available, I would use it and do something special, it's lovely to have those memories to look back on smile

BobaFetaCheese Fri 07-Feb-14 05:15:26

What's bought this thread on OP?
Is there a milestone coming up, MN bargain hunters may be able to help if you're on a budget!

Perfectlypurple Fri 07-Feb-14 05:43:18

I spent over £600 on a jacket for my husbands 50th. It was something he always wanted and I had a savings plan pay out so I had the money. I wouldn't have spent that if I hadn't had the pay out.

chanie44 Fri 07-Feb-14 07:57:12

Oh got me an engagement ring for my 30th which was £700, but that was pre children. I bought him an iPad for £400 for his 40th, but we had children by then. I saved up religiously for about 18 months to afford that.

Now, we couldn't afford big presents like that, but we are 5 years away from another big birthday. We will spend what we can afford.

cory Fri 07-Feb-14 08:00:44

Dh and I have both turned 50 in the last few years. Our gifts for each other have been family gifts really- money towards a holiday - and discussed in advance.

Didn't really regard 30 and 40 as milestones: I think he gave me a CD for my 30th.

bodygoingsouth Fri 07-Feb-14 10:11:43

can't remember 30th. too long ago. our 40th meal with the older kids and seeing love actually at the cinema. grin

just had 50th and we are fairly broke as getting 2 through uni and 2 teens so it was a Chinese takeaway and a bottle. it was great.

detest detest big gestures.

frumpet Fri 07-Feb-14 10:17:03

Just out of curiosity when did a 30th birthday become a milestone birthday ?

overitalready Fri 07-Feb-14 10:21:40

30th has always been a milestone in my eyes!

I got a surprise 4 day trip to Dublin for my 30th. so all in all about £700 i think he spent. Including spending money.

dp 50th is 2 years away and already saving. Not sure for what yet though.

ThoughtFox Fri 07-Feb-14 10:30:30

Mmmm - I'm planning to take him for a day out in London for his 40th but it will probably be quirky rather than expensive, although will probably finish off with a nice meal. I'll buy him something nice if I see it (i.e. nice piece of art work etc)
We're comfortably off, but neither of us are big spenders.

Pigletin Fri 07-Feb-14 10:32:49

It depends on the year so not necessarily for a milestone birthday, but we normally try not to waste money on cheap stuff that sits at home unused and focus more on trips/experiences together.

One year, my husband took me to Copenhagen for the cost of about £500, I have taken him to Amsterdam for about the same price. Last year he took me to Longleat Park for about £100 (tickets, gas, spending money) and I gave him a driving experience for about £200. The budget really depends on what we fancy doing that year and we don't necessarily reciprocate in terms of cost. You can book a cheap trip to the zoo and still make it special.

Trills Fri 07-Feb-14 10:34:46

YABU to think that you'll get a meaningful or useful answer - it'll depend a lot on the finances of the couple and also how important they think presents/birthdays are.

Megrim Fri 07-Feb-14 10:38:50

I got a Scalextric set for my 40th. It wasn't quite what I expected.

DracoMalfoysHairGel Fri 07-Feb-14 10:39:56

For DH's 40th a couple of years ago I bought him a Rolex . I'd just got a huge bonus at work and wanted to get him something that he will keep forever . It's very classic and understated . My mum gave my dad an Omega 50 years ago which he still wears everyday so it was lovely to carry on the tradition.
Normally we only spend around £100 on birthdays so it was a big deal .

My 40th is soon and to be honest I'm not fussed about a huge present . I would just like a party as I've never had one .

Pigletin Fri 07-Feb-14 10:40:59

I agree with Trills

And actually, why should there be a specific budget for birthdays? - just get something the other person would like based on what you can afford at the time. It doesn't have to be the same amount of money every year and the cost doesn't have to be reciprocated. The point is that you make an effort and make it fun for the other person. You could just make a special meal at home and have a great time together.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 07-Feb-14 10:43:40

I don't think we have ever spent a great deal on birthdays, he bought me an eternity ring once, but not a milestone birthday.
I don't think it matters how much you spend its the thought that counts.

BalloonSlayer Fri 07-Feb-14 10:45:35

Relatively comfortable although not feeling all that flush at the moment.

I have a big birthday coming up. If I wanted something pricey like:

Night in Hotel de Posh
even maybe Trip to New York

I reckon DH would be fine about it.

However I am not all that bothered about any of the above so no need to spend a lot at all.

HazleNutt Fri 07-Feb-14 10:45:50

We don't buy each other birthday presents (we are very comfortable, so can just buy what we need or like). Usually just go out for a nice dinner, but as all our money is joint, I don't consider it him spending money on me, or vice versa.

Banacek Fri 07-Feb-14 10:48:41

Around £100-£200, on a normal birthday it would be nearer £50. We save big spending for the DC!

Thisvehicleisreversing Fri 07-Feb-14 10:50:25

For my 30th we paid for a party but my mum chipped in so probably spent about £50/£60. I didn't get a separate present.

For DH's 30th I spent about £50 on a watch and a takeaway.

KatnipEvergreen Fri 07-Feb-14 10:52:12

We don't really set financial limits, we just buy things for one another that we might like/want/need.

Wendydog Fri 07-Feb-14 10:55:36

I think it depends more on the meaning and how much they would like it. I spent about £200 on DH (then dps) 30th for something I knew he would really like and it was a keepsake (something personalised, sport related and framed on our wall). My 30th is this year and I am hoping for a Kitchen aid as I reallllly want one and it's not the sort of thing we would just buy or get for Xmas etc. We usually spend about £50 on each other for Christmas and birthday combined as both our birthdays are within weeks of Christmas.

fay144 Fri 07-Feb-14 11:01:09

We spent about £500 on each other's 30th. We got big items related to each other's hobbies that we probably wouldn't have splashed out on otherwise. I also got a couple of nights away in a 5* b&b, and a spa day. (No kids at that point).

I'm slightly horrified that I can't remember what I got DH for his 21st. I remember where I took him for dinner... we were students at the time, so it wasn't very expensive. We'd graduated by the time I turned 21, and went to Paris for the weekend (though he didn't pay the full lot).

HowBadCanThisGet Fri 07-Feb-14 11:01:30

I spent about £200 on a watch for DHs 40th, for his 50th I am going to get him a telescope.

Unfortunately he lost the watch in a park, so it wasn't quite the keepsake I had hoped for.

MrsSteptoe Fri 07-Feb-14 11:03:17

We normally spend £50-100 on each other at Christmas and birthday, depending if it's a particularly tight year. Milestones don't make a difference. But if I had a blinding idea for something I either wanted for my own birthday or wanted to give my DH for his, I'd try to find a way of affording it, IYSWIM.

CooEeeEldridge Fri 07-Feb-14 11:07:30

Probably about 500 each, prob 200 on presents and rest on meal / night away. we also had a holiday as our birthdays are v close together. 30 a definite milestone to me, had a brilliant time with it all!

purplemurple1 Fri 07-Feb-14 11:10:23

I got my OH a set of coasters (for cups) for his 40th - they were funny to us and useful so appreciated.

Not a refelction of our financial situation, but I guess we are lucky in that we can normally just get something if we want/need it so wouldn't wait for our bdays.

Honeysweet Fri 07-Feb-14 11:13:31

Megrim grin

We had only just met when we were both 30, so not much then, I don't really think of milestone birthdays any differently to other birthdays to be honest. 40th we were relatively skint (both DCs in full time childcare), he bought me a silver ring for abut £40, I bought him a water feature for the garden about £70.

We haven't reached 50th yet, but are a lot more comfortably off now. I would say we just buy whatever we think the other might want at the time, still usually somewhere between £30 and £100 each for Christmas and birthdays. DH pushed the boat out with some jewellery worth about £500 for my CHristmas this year but that is unusual. We don't go off for weekends away anywhere to mark birthdays or anniversaries, just do it as a family when we want to.

GreenShadow Fri 07-Feb-14 11:17:42

Varies so much I can't really answer.

We certainly don't have a 'budget' for presents and 'big' birthdays don't have to mean bigger presents.
Having said that for my 50th we did go to Rome for a few days, so that was pretty pricey. Otherwise, a very rough estimate would be between £50 - £150 most years.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 07-Feb-14 11:20:31

It varies hugely.

My 30th DH spent a fortune, maybe £3k in total? The following year he spent about £50 on a really nice bottle of wine and a lovely cookery book from an area we had been to on honeymoon - and cooked me a meal from it!
Last year he bought me a watch, it cost over £1k. It wasn't a big birthday. It doesn't mean that he will expect that spent on him next birthday though.

We went on holiday for his 40th and I bought him a present costing £200ish, can't say what it will out me grin

It is his birthday next month and I have no idea what to get him. His present might cost £20, or it might cost £500. Depends what I see, or whether he mentions anything between now and then.

You can't compare actual amounts though, it is more about percentage of disposable income.

Cravey Fri 07-Feb-14 11:24:11

For my 21 he took me to New York my 30 was a meal as we were in the middle of moving home and setting up a business. My 40 he took me and my parents home to vegas. So a lot really. His 21 he was given a baby. Literally. His 30 we spent at reading festival which cost me a fortune. And his 40 we also went to vegas. He's coming up to 50 in four years and I'm thinking about taking him back to Barbados as we got engaged there.

Cravey Fri 07-Feb-14 11:25:08

Posted too soon. Non milestone birthdays we don't do a lot. Maybe a nice meal. We don't do gifts as such as we travel a lot so put the money in the travel pot.

PrimalLass Fri 07-Feb-14 11:32:10

We wouldn't spend a set figure, but maybe get something we wanted/needed. It's all family money. We are going away for my 40th, and will do so for his too. I'm more interested in the child-free than 'stuff'.

stopprocrastinating Fri 07-Feb-14 11:46:16

What we can afford. If we don't have much, about �10. If we can afford it, up to �500. I spent �500 on DH's 30th. I was earning good money at the time, no children, and bought him a DSLR (he'd been wanting one for ages).

Hazelbrowneyes Fri 07-Feb-14 11:47:35

For my 21st DH spent around £700 - night away in a nice hotel and some earrings.

For his 30th, we'd had to move into a caravan as our house had rented out and we hadn't finished renovating our new house. We were skint. I scraped together £150 to buy some global knives. We went to the local pub for dinner and drinks.

I still feel shit over not being in a position to do something nice for his 30th. I think it would have been easier had we not been in a pokey caravan at the time. sad

I took DH to Venice as a surprise for his 50th, from memory about �500 in total.

For mine, he took me to a naice French restaurant. The thinking was - we were planning on getting married shortly after it, and so I'd have a big family party for the wedding, so I wouldn't need one for my birthday. Except then he became ill - the wedding went ahead (small do, just us and witnesses), but the party was postponed. If I'm honest, I feel a wee bit short changed, but there are bigger problems in the world.

Littleen Fri 07-Feb-14 11:52:04

I've always spent far too much on OH's presents, but for a big milestone bday I would easily spend 400-500 pounds to get us on a longweekend somewhere! Last year I was at uni, but still saved up money to take us on a weekend to austria, as anniversary/christmas/birthday present all in one :P Was not any special birthday or anything. This year we're so broke that his present was about 30 pounds though!

DowntonTrout Fri 07-Feb-14 11:56:16

For my 30th DH took me to the Maldives. For my 40th I had a party with private dining and champagne bar for 30 people and a week in St Lucia.

My 40th probably cost almost £10,000. It was a few years ago and we don't have the same disposable income anymore.

The most I have spent on DH was about £1800 on a Cartier watch.

SpookedMackerel Fri 07-Feb-14 11:57:13

I don't think it would occur to me to spend more on a "milestone" birthday. I am almost certain it wouldn't enter dh's head either.

The only real milestone birthdays we have had together have been 30th - can't remember what I got him, or he got me.

I would normally spend £20-30 on a birthday present from me, and £10-£20 on presents from each of the children.

LifeIsForTheLiving Fri 07-Feb-14 12:20:26

For my 21st DH took me for a long weekend in idea of the cost though.

For dh's 30th last year I booked a week in Disneyland Paris as a cost was about £2k including spending money. It took me a year to save it without df knowing as generally all money is shared. I also had to get the dc passports without DH knowing...very fun trying to get passport photos done of a 2 and a 5 year old without them blabbing!

purplebaubles Fri 07-Feb-14 12:22:38

Surely just what people can afford?

Right now, we can't afford anything. Big birthday for me due very soon, and tbh, I'm expecting nothing. We struggle to pay the food bill, why on earth would we shell out for a present?

minibmw2010 Fri 07-Feb-14 12:27:27

I got some lovely diamond stud earrings for my 40th last year (I know they were about £250 from a high street jeweller) and I wear them every day. DH hasn't had his milestone yet.

LydiaCrawford Fri 07-Feb-14 12:36:48

Our last big milestones were our 40th birthdays.

Me: We planned afternoon shopping/window shopping in Bath followed by a meal. I could get anything I fancied whilst out. I bought one item for £60 I think. He may have bought me flowers but I can't remember now.

DH: We went out of a meal, I bought him some favourite chocs. he may have bought some electrical gadget and said it was for his 40th but, again, I cannot remember.

I think we just both got to the point where we realised that if there isn't something we particularly want then we are not interested in spending money/cluttering up/going on a trip just for the sake of it. We treat ourselves to things (by mutual agreement as we have completely joint accounts) when we want them.

Life over the last few years has been dominated by work, bring up young children, doing up the house and paying off the mortgage asap. Under those circumstances having to make a big effort for birthdays would have been a chore tbh and we would much rather give token gifts and mark the day quietly - I think that is more about energy than money though.

I can see this changing within the next couple of years though as, hopefully, we will have more time, energy and money to jazz life up a bit (which has become quite habitually dull on the whole). Financially, we are very secure now but in our drive to achieve that I think we have lost a little of life's sparkle and we both are starting to appreciate that it is going to take some effort to get it back.

5Foot5 Fri 07-Feb-14 13:35:29

When DH turned 50 a few years ago I bought him a saxophone which was in the region of �1000. He had always said he wished he had learned, so a few months beforehand I persuaded him to hire a cheap instrument and get lessons to see how he got on. When he liked it we asked his teacher for recommendations and then took it from there.

My 50th the year before last he bought me a summer house grin and paid for the company to put in a base and put it up. I think it was nearly �1500 altogether. My pride and joy!

I should add we do not spend such large sums on normal birthdays.

Creamycoolerwithcream Fri 07-Feb-14 14:15:03

For my 30th DH brought me a maternity dress, I was pregnant with DS3 and we went to the cinema to see Shakespeare in Love, so probably Around �40. For my 40th I had a big party with an open bar and went on a big twin center long haul holiday and a cruise, so about 8k. I've been a bit more consistent with my DH and spent about �40 to �80 on his big birthdays.

SlightlyTerrified Fri 07-Feb-14 14:20:50

Anything up to £1k, for instance we went to NY for my 30th. I was on maternity leave on DHs 40th so I spent a couple of hundred on a party but not that much more from what I remember. We got him a keep sake present but it wasn't massively expensive.

We are fairly comfortable and both work however when we spend a lot of gifts it usually comes out of money we have earned doing overtime or extra work.

deliverdaniel Fri 07-Feb-14 14:26:59

Thanks everyone. Dh and I both turn 40 this year- him first. Want to give him something special as I have some saved. He's said he knows what he's getting me and I don't want to go wildly different with his so wanted to get a sense of the range! He's really hard to buy for though.

shewhowines Fri 07-Feb-14 14:32:59

We had a nice trip away for 40th's. I did have a party, but more for other peoples benefit, than mine.

We don't do showy presents. If we want/need things then we get them throughout the year as required. Presents are token ones.

Merlotmonster Fri 07-Feb-14 14:34:18

For my 40th my husband took me to le manoir aux quats season for 2 nights plus amazing meals and we went to the blenheim horse trials in the day..perfect...for his 40th this year we are doing a road trip from las vegas flying upperclass and going on a ranch for 5 days too followed by a couple of nights in vegas. ..ive been savig for 3 years..will cost around 8k but I always like to quote from mr rolls royce who said'quality is remembered long after price is forgotten'....

glasgowsteven Fri 07-Feb-14 14:35:35

zero, we dont spend money on each other, joint account, we just do fun things anytime we want when we have the money

Joysmum Fri 07-Feb-14 15:01:44

I find the question a bit weird and very sad tbh.

I honestly couldn't tell you what we've spent in the past because it doesn't matter! All that matters is that we've spent within our means and on things we thought the other would appreciate at the time. Hubby has bought me wheelbarrows and sheds, I'd shoot him if he bought me diamonds as it's a waste of money and not something I'd appreciate.

So sad that anyone needs to value their gifts, other than to ascertain whether it's affordable.

WipsGlitter Fri 07-Feb-14 15:05:04

When I was 40 I got a mulberry handbag from DP, so £600 odd. When he turned 50 I took him to a swanky hotel for the weekend so about the same when you count trains and spending money.

WipsGlitter Fri 07-Feb-14 15:05:54

Oh and he took 30 friends for dinner and that was £1000 but he paid for that.

MeDoingMyThing Fri 07-Feb-14 15:06:06

DH 40th recently and I did a surprise party with food etc and a weekend in European city, all in all probably spent £2k altogether but did not set out to spend that. We have very cheap holidays and always have so trip away was treat for both of us. He loved the weekend away more I think despite the party being a nightmare to organise and involved dealing with some of his pals I'd rather not see.

MmeGuillotine Fri 07-Feb-14 16:05:00

We generally spend about £70 on each other for birthdays and Christmas but it's my fortieth this October and he's taking me off to Berlin for six days so I can gawp at graffiti, dance to bad techno and eat vegan kebabs. It'll be the first time we've been away without the children for about seven years so I'm pretty excited!

I have another eight years to plan and save for my husband's fortieth. We weren't nearly so well off around our respective thirtieth birthdays due to having babies and selling property etc so I'd like to push the boat out for our next big birthdays.

5Foot5 Fri 07-Feb-14 16:13:46

merlotmonster Snap!! We went there (Le Manoir) for my 40th and also for DHs a few years earlier.

MaidOfStars Fri 07-Feb-14 17:14:47

for his 40th this year we are doing a road trip from las vegas flying upperclass ... will cost around 8k

Who are you flying with? That sounds cheap considering it includes transatlantic (assumption based on Le Manoir...) first class flights.

I took my husband to NY for his 40th (last year). It cost around £4k. However, obviously I got the benefit of it too grin

amothersplaceisinthewrong Fri 07-Feb-14 17:17:58

We have had some milestone birthdays when we were skint and others when we weren't. So nothing when we were skint, taken to Geneva for a long weekend when I was 40, to Cotswolds when I was 50 and to Rome for 25 wedding. Dont' tend to do presents as such.

SpagBolgs Fri 07-Feb-14 18:18:47

It depends usually DH will buy me some clothes or take me out. We usually do something simple but sometimes we have done more extravagant things such as going away and buying me items for Tiffany.

scantilymad Fri 07-Feb-14 18:23:13

*for his 40th this year we are doing a road trip from las vegas flying upperclass ... will cost around 8k

Who are you flying with? That sounds cheap considering it includes transatlantic (assumption based on Le Manoir...) first class flights.*

Seconded as Vegas is the trip I am saving for for next year. Hadn't considered UC but at that price I would do.

Mintyy Fri 07-Feb-14 18:23:25

For my 40th dh organised a big party with food and a free bar in central London (shared with a mutual friend) and we went to Rome for 4 days.

For my 50th he bought me a mid-range laptop.

We are comfortable but not rolling in it.

Quoteunquote Fri 07-Feb-14 18:38:32

We never buy each other presents on birthdays, Christmas, or any other "occasions"

but we do when we want something we just get it.

I came across a bit of art work the other day I knew DH would love, so I bought it, and gave it to him. I suppose most people would of kept it for next event day, can't be assed with that it seems silly. and I hate the forced buying of pointless things just for sake of it. I only buy things for people when I see something really worthwhile.

I hate being given presents , I need or want very little, and when I do, I like to get it for myself, I like being able to get my own things, I know what I like, I would hate to miss the chance to get it for myself.

Because we don't really do presents, nether of us mind if the other gets something for themselves.

I buy myself a decent new nikon every couple of years, DH could buy it for me, but why?

Nomama Fri 07-Feb-14 18:54:32

We don't do birthday or Christmas presents. Well, if we can think of something we might.

But we always do our wedding anniversary. Small things or big things, it doesn't matter. But that week is sacrosanct. We may have a blow out his year (25th) or we may not, as we are buying a house and may decide that that is our present.

Oh! Thinking about it that way, the most I have spent is £200,000 smile

eggsandwich Fri 07-Feb-14 20:32:53

I turned 50 in January and my DH brought me a lovely gold Tiffany bracelet which was over a £1000 and he also took me away for the weekend and had a lovely cake made for me and flowers, when I was 40 he brought me some diamond stud earrings and four my 30th I got a Gucci watch, I'm very lucky but it just depends on what you can afford.

Best1sWest Fri 07-Feb-14 20:43:01

For my 50th all four of us went to Paris. I prefer memories to gifts so would always opt for a trip away somewhere.

Fantasyfootballfan Fri 07-Feb-14 22:16:06

For Dh's 40th I paid for a party, free bar, catered, DJ which was about £1000. For mine we had a small party at home, went away for the weekend and he bought me a Rolex watch. We generally spend £50 on birthdays, don't buy each other Xmas presents or any other presents on other occasions so I don't feel it was too extravagant.

carabos Fri 07-Feb-14 22:25:05

We had trips away for our 40th. I got DH an iPad for his 50th and he paid for a party for mine, which cost about the same and was what I wanted. Too busy having babies to do much for our 30ths apart from get married.

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