to cry over hotel bridal policy?

(410 Posts)
PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 16:43:44

Getting married in 4 weeks v cheaply. Registry office, two guests as witnesses, no flowers, haïr dressers, cars or any of that stuff. £200 cream L K Bennett dress.

The only 'treat element' of the day was booking a night at a 5 star hotel, with dinner for our two guests.

That's all we can afford, and I didn't want to have to wait years saving to get married.

Only problem now is that I can't wear my dress to the hotel. They have a bridal policy of only one bride (their wedding package) at the hotel. So despite my not having anything ostensibly bridal, as my sheath dress is cream I can't wear it incase I offend a bride who can afford a massive wedding package.

AIBU to think this sucks??

AwfulMaureen Thu 06-Feb-14 16:45:24

Have they seen the dress? Lie and say it's your "evening wear". Unless they bloody attend your wedding ceremony they won't know!

Pennypig Thu 06-Feb-14 16:45:41

That's such a shame, are you are they won't be more flexibl if you explain it's just a cream dress, not a weddingy type dress?

Tell them you won't wear a wedding dress, go in your dress. I doubt they'll consider it to be a wedding dress on sight.

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 16:46:28

I sent them the link: Cream

Apparently too ostensibly bridal.

DP stupidly mentioned the wedding when booking the room.

JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 16:46:41

Are you planning to tell them in advance that you'll be in a dress?

DustyBaubles Thu 06-Feb-14 16:47:30

Wouldn't you look at bit odd sitting at a table for four in a wedding dress/ bridal outfit though?

If you are not going for the full on headgear/make up/jewellery etc. bridal look though, perhaps the hotel will be none the wiser. Unles your husband is going to be in morning dress or something.

cory Thu 06-Feb-14 16:47:51

How bizarre. So they think another bride- the one who has paid for the packet- would think she wasn't getting her full money's worth if she was reminded that she is not the only bride in the world? Bit of a sad comment on human nature, isn't it?

MorrisZapp Thu 06-Feb-14 16:48:01

Well that's nonsense isn't it. You're just two couples coming for dinner, they can't tell you what to wear.

JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 16:48:04

That isn't a wedding dress. It's just a white dress. (and lovely, BTW smile)

They are being ridiculous if they have seen it.

sunshinemmum Thu 06-Feb-14 16:48:11

It's your going away outfit wink you'll be fine. I can't imagine them marching up and demanding you should change.

scurryfunge Thu 06-Feb-14 16:48:27

Just email them back saying you will wear an alternative but wear yours anyway-what will they do?

DustyBaubles Thu 06-Feb-14 16:48:53

Oh, that dress isn't to 'bridal' at all! You'll easily get away with it.

Ktay Thu 06-Feb-14 16:49:06

What! That's a lovely dress but hardly a meringue. I'm sure you've thought of this but are there any decent alternatives you can take your custom to?

GinSoakedMisery Thu 06-Feb-14 16:49:10

Could you not put a brightly coloured flower brooch on the dress, make it less wedding dress like?

It is a beautiful dress.

ViviPru Thu 06-Feb-14 16:49:12

YANBU What a tasteful dress and ostensibly bridal my arse. I'd cancel and go elsewhere.

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 16:49:20

It's not a wedding dress. It's a cream sheath dress. I wanted the whole 50's classic type wedding..elegant little dress and just simple drinks and a meal afterwards.

Didn't reckon on the bridezilla policy.

MorrisZapp Thu 06-Feb-14 16:49:26

Cory lots of brides don't want to have other brides around on the day, usually get a sympathetic response on here.

DPotter Thu 06-Feb-14 16:49:35

I assume given the weather you'll walk into the hotel wearing a jacket / coat which will cover the dress so no one will really see it until you sit down at the table and slip the sleeves off. once your sitting down no one will be able to tell what style of dress you're wearing. Go for it - brazen it out and have a fantastic day!

HavantGuard Thu 06-Feb-14 16:49:36

Get a refund. Book another hotel. Gag your DH and stop mentioning the word wedding.

PsychicPaper Thu 06-Feb-14 16:49:51

Its a beautiful dress

Ask them is they can provide your meal in a private dining room as a goodwill gesture?

WooWooOwl Thu 06-Feb-14 16:50:06

I think it's a fair policy tbh. If your dress really isn't at all bridal then they won't be able to tell anyway, but if you are planning on looking like a bride, even a very simply dressed bride, then I think you have to accept it graciously.

People pay a lot of money to have a venue where they will be the only wedding party, and if that's something important enough to someone to pay for, then the venue would be really out of order to allow another bride in for dinner.

JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 16:50:15

First of all, if you are 4 people coming for dinner, they can't tell you what colour of dress to wear. Bollocks.

Their policy is ridiculous, if they are genuinely going to enforce this, cancel.

PickleSarnie Thu 06-Feb-14 16:50:27

On what planet is that dress too bridal?! It's gorgeous but it's nothing like a typical wedding dress in any way other than colour.

Do you really want to spend the night at a hotel run by such muppets?! Is there anywhere else you can go instead?

eurochick Thu 06-Feb-14 16:50:31

It's not an obviously weddingy dress - wear it with pride! It's lovely. Do they even know that your dinner is a wedding dinner?

They can't ban all dinner guests wearing white/cream!

Ledkr Thu 06-Feb-14 16:50:36

Just say ok. Then go in the dress, it looks like a normal dress to me.

TryDrawing Thu 06-Feb-14 16:50:57

Take a coloured pashmina: voila - not bridal ;)

Splatt34 Thu 06-Feb-14 16:50:59

Can you take your money elsewhere and have a fancy dinner somewhere else then go to the hotel to 'sleep'?

Lovely dress. Is the hotel so lovely? Could you do a plea on MN to find you and even nicer hotel?

They sound ridiculous, tbh, I wounder what else they might be ridiculous about on the day?

expatinscotland Thu 06-Feb-14 16:51:17

I would not patronise this hotel with my money.

PickleSarnie Thu 06-Feb-14 16:51:34

But it's not a "bridal party" woowoo, it's four people having dinner (two of which just happened to get married)

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 16:51:43

This was the hotel reply to my email checking the policy (I though at first DP had got it wrong and I just couldn't rock up in a full meringue type gown):

Good Afternoon,

Further to your conversation with my colleague earlier today, we have shown your wedding dress to the duty manager who feels it is too bridal for you to arrive and dine at the hotel wearing.

If you wish us to consult on any alternative dresses please do not hesitate in sending us the link to the webpage.

eurochick Thu 06-Feb-14 16:51:50

Sorry - just seen your second post. How on earth can they think it is too bridal? And also seen that your partner has mentioned it's a wedding do. Personally, I'd go elsewhere. The hotel sounds like a bit of a nightmare.

TryDrawing Thu 06-Feb-14 16:52:13

By the way, that is a beautiful dress.

cory Thu 06-Feb-14 16:52:29

Not from me, they don't, Morris.

I remember my wedding day very well. If I had rolled up at the hotel and bumped into another bride in the foyer, I can imagine smiling and waving excitedly, feeling my day had been enhanced, not stamping my feet in frustration. But then I beamed at other people's babies in the maternity ward, so maybe I'm just not cut out for this -zilla stuff.

JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 16:52:56

Woowoo don't be ridiculous. Surely you aren't advocating someone actually being told what to wear to a hotel which isn't exclusively booked?

If someone wants to be the only bride on the day <vomit> then they need to book a venue exclusively. They haven't.

expatinscotland Thu 06-Feb-14 16:53:03

Please fuck this hotel off.

Quoteunquote Thu 06-Feb-14 16:53:08

Get a refund, find somewhere worthy of your memories.

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 16:53:36

Do you think maybe I could have some fun with them sending them alternative dress link suggestions??!grin

Ugh, bet the duty manager didn't even bother to look at it.

JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 16:53:58

Prebends Seriously, cancel.

If they genuinely think they can dictate what you are wearing to that extent, then cancel.

Abbierhodes Thu 06-Feb-14 16:54:24

What a ridiculous rule! Cancel and go somewhere else. If they won't refund you, threaten them with your daily mail sadface!

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Thu 06-Feb-14 16:54:24

Wow, that is an absolutely beautiful dress!

So classic and understated.

Yes - change the hotel!!

Am sure MNers can find you a much better one!

JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 16:54:27

A guest could wear that dress though?! It isn't bridal!

SarahBumBarer Thu 06-Feb-14 16:54:36

Not really - some venues do several weddings, some do only one wedding at a time and some do eclusive use for the bridal party only. If that is what you have booked then that is what you are entitled to. I can totally understand not wanting to compete with other brides for the best photo spots etc at a venue if that is what you want for your big day. I think YABU to feel resentment at the other bride. OTOH the hotel is being ridiculous. That dress is gorgeous, by no means obvious as a wedding dress (assuming you do not rock up clutching a huge bouquet) and they are being ridiculous. I doubt the other bride will be in the hotel restaurant that night anyway. I would find another hotel and not mention the wedding when you book this time.

MrsHappyBee Thu 06-Feb-14 16:54:37

YANBU to feel upset. Are there any other hotels you could make a booking with? I wouldn't want to spend my hard earned cash at a place with such a horrible attitude. Why should you feel as if you have to skulk about on your big day?

YouCanTakeAHorseToWater Thu 06-Feb-14 16:54:45

That is a lovely dress but I don't think it is particularly bridal, its just cream! How about getting a brightly coloured pashmina to wear over the top when you are checking into the hotel and going down for dinner? You can remove it once you are seated and it will stop it looking as bridal...

RabbitsarenotHares Thu 06-Feb-14 16:55:05

If you want to stick with that hotel, could you not wear a jacket over the top? I can't see what they're objecting to atm, but with a jacket they'd have even fewer grounds for complaint.

Absolutely gorgeous, btw, and if it wa cheaper I'd consider buyinf for a wedding I'm going to as a guest, where the dress code is black and white. (Wonders what they'd do if that reception was there...ban me too?)

PsychicPaper Thu 06-Feb-14 16:55:38

Thats the spirit OP smile

It has got me worried though, I am staying at a 5 star seaside hotel on my wedding night, and will be arriving in a full wedding dress, but we havent mentioned to them it is my wedding night hmm

HavantGuard Thu 06-Feb-14 16:55:39

You can't put the cat back into the bag. It's a lovely dress and they wouldn't have had any issue with a hotel guest wearing it until your DH mentioned the wedding. Now you've triggered their 'one bride only' policy they won't change their minds. It is worth too much to them to protect the exclusivity of a wedding booking.

JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 16:56:06

Not really - some venues do several weddings, some do only one wedding at a time and some do eclusive use for the bridal party only. If that is what you have booked then that is what you are entitled to. I can totally understand not wanting to compete with other brides for the best photo spots etc at a venue if that is what you want for your big day.

But that isn't the case here.
1. the other bride doesn't have exclusive use
2. They won't be competing for photo spots (this isn't a thing, BTW hmm) as the OP isn't doing that

expatinscotland Thu 06-Feb-14 16:56:10

Why would you want to give money to a place like this? Name and shame them, too, so we don't give them money.

ViviPru Thu 06-Feb-14 16:56:12

Is it too late to get a refund? I sympathise about the wedding party exclusivity thing, and that in itself would make me want to consider booking elsewhere if there is another wedding going on, as much as you don't want a big fuss, you should feel exited about it being a special treat and being pampered.

I'd want to be somewhere where the knowledge of the nature of our visit was met with a "Ooh how lovely, we'll be sure to make it an extra special stay for you" rather than "Ok. We'll take your money. But at no point must you resemble a couple on your wedding day under any circumstances."

birdybear Thu 06-Feb-14 16:56:21

Yes, send them several a day, saying you can't decide!

TryDrawing Thu 06-Feb-14 16:56:25

Do you think maybe I could have some fun with them sending them alternative dress link suggestions??!


KatoPotato Thu 06-Feb-14 16:56:44

I don't understand. Fwiw your dress is gorgeous and elegant and not ostensibly wedding-y at all!

Is it like at Disney world a member of staff in a Mickey Mouse costume wandered into another's patch... They'd get the sack for possibly ruining the magic for kids. If another bride in a dress sees another, do they explode?

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Thu 06-Feb-14 16:56:59

HA yes start emailing them!

Or better still:

'thank you for your email. I will indeed take you up on your offer of assistance to find me the perfect dress which will also permit me to attend your amazing hotel. As I have a few friends also helping me out on my search, I am sure that you would not mind my passing on your email to them so that they can email you some links. Once again, many thanks for your offer'

And watch their inbox MELT.


JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 16:57:16

They don't have exclusivity to protect!

If they wanted to offer exclusivity, they would offer exclusivity. They haven't done that!

oscarwilde Thu 06-Feb-14 16:57:16

I'll lay odds that there will be a guest at the other wedding wearing this...

eurochick Thu 06-Feb-14 16:57:18

Consulting the hotel about what you are allowed to wear to dinner might be the most ridiculous thing I have heard. Please cancel and go somewhere else. And then complain to the owners.

CalamitouslyWrong Thu 06-Feb-14 16:57:18

Just book different fancy hotel and don't give this ne your business.

Why in the name of all that's wedding related are you persisting with this idiotic hotel?

Also, name it! I wasn't going to stay anyway but happily will boycott for a reason now smile

difficultpickle Thu 06-Feb-14 16:58:17

I would cancel and go elsewhere. Why would you want to give your money to a hotel that cannot even write an email in grammatically correct English. Frankly I'd be amazed if this is really a 5 star hotel. Where are you? If you are in London and want a lovely genuinely 5 star hotel have a look at The Goring.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Thu 06-Feb-14 16:58:34
HermioneWeasley Thu 06-Feb-14 16:58:57

Definitely cancel and find somewhere else to spend your money, but not before you've had loads of fun sending them links to huge meringue style wedding dresses and adding for their view

sooperdooper Thu 06-Feb-14 16:59:12

I wouldn't have sent them the link to the dress! Bloody rude reply imo, cancel and go elsewhere, why spend your money there?

Just say you want a full refund as they can't accomodate what you want, don'tget changed on their account!!!

And name and shame the ridiculous hotel?? ;)

sugarlevel Thu 06-Feb-14 16:59:20

Just tell them you've reordered it in the blue... then turn up in the cream. whoops... They are hardly going to kick you out!

HavantGuard Thu 06-Feb-14 16:59:21

How do you know what's in their wedding package Juno ?

sugarlevel Thu 06-Feb-14 16:59:30

lovely dress btw

DontmindifIdo Thu 06-Feb-14 16:59:30

Cancel. It's spoilt it now, tell them you would never have booked with them if you realised you couldn't wear a white shift dress at the restaurant.

Then go elsewhere and don't mention weddings.

BTW - you've had a lucky escape, if there's a big wedding going on in the hotel, it might be noisy and all the staff will be geared up towards the wedding party. Having stayed in a hotel when there's a wedding going on and not being part of the wedding party, it's a really crap experience compared to going to the same hotel any other time.

SarahBumBarer Thu 06-Feb-14 16:59:34

Juno I said there were different types of places and I listed three types 1) multiple wedding 2) one wedding at a time 3) exclusive use. No this is not exclusive use but it is a one wedding venue. The other bride has booked a venue with one wedding at a time policy and presumably the cost reflects that it is one wedding at a time. The other bride is not being unreasonable and does not deserve bitterness that she can "afford a massive wedding package"

Branleuse Thu 06-Feb-14 16:59:43

I'd choose a different venue on principle

Viviennemary Thu 06-Feb-14 16:59:48

I don't think I could be bothered with this silly petty rule. Go somewhere else if you can.

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 17:00:01

It is a very nice hotel: Rockliffe Hall in County Durham.

Can anyone recommend any others in the area?

Reluctant to have to change my dress, especially now everyone has affirmed my choice by telling me how lovely it is!! smile

JunoMacGuff Thu 06-Feb-14 17:00:02


Um.. because exclusive use of the venue would mean that the OP wouldn't have been able to book there.


thefirstmrsrochester Thu 06-Feb-14 17:00:18

It's a beautiful dress, stunning, and nowhere in the description is it referred to as a wedding dress.
If they don't reconsider, vote with your feet and book elsewhere. Not forgetting to share your experience on twitter.
They don't deserve a penny of your business tbh. Their arsey attitude could take the shine off your day.

HavantGuard Thu 06-Feb-14 17:00:22

Loving the knitted penis dress.

AwfulMaureen Thu 06-Feb-14 17:00:42

Get yourself a REALLY attentino seeking red dress OP. That's what I'd do. Bloody stupid rule. Wear a sign on your back that says "The BEST bride" grin

Monetbyhimself Thu 06-Feb-14 17:00:46

Is this for real ? Cos if it is I am stunned. Stunned that there is a hotel which operates such an absurd policyand stunned that there are in fact, women out there who are so caught up with being a Bridezilla, that they would have a strop at the sight of another bride.

< fond memories of playing drinking games til 3 am at my best friends wedding, with the bridal party from the posh function room next door>

Try - I love that dress!

Prebends - the hotel are barking - that is a gorgeous dress, and in no way will it scream 'bridal'. I agree with those who,have suggested you cancel and go to another hotel.

LeBearPolar Thu 06-Feb-14 17:01:01

I wouldn't be wasting another second on this hotel - shop around. If you're splashing out, you want it to be on a hotel which is going to treat you well, not keep you hidden behind the pot plant in case you offend a wealthier person.

BumpNGrind Thu 06-Feb-14 17:01:03

That's disgusting. Bollocks would I allow a jumped up hotel manager to tell me what I could and couldn't wear, wedding or no wedding. I would reply to the email telling them that due to their appalling customer service you would be going elsewhere, then I would contact the hotel hq to tell them about this, demand an apology and never ever visit there again.

ViviPru Thu 06-Feb-14 17:01:20

Rockliffe Hall in County Durham

I sense a hashtag coming on.....

notsureofmyself Thu 06-Feb-14 17:01:33

Oh yes, you should definitely email them a series of ridiculous suggestions!

HermioneWeasley Thu 06-Feb-14 17:01:52

Bruno's suggestion of getting us all to spam them with links to wedding dresses is genius. Do it!

Maybe we can all make fake bookings and ask if our dresses are acceptable as well. I shall book under "mr and Mrs Michael Hunt"

Creamycoolerwithcream Thu 06-Feb-14 17:02:07

You have to either get changed into another outfit or change the hotel. I wouldn't do the wear a jacket/add bright accessories thing.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Thu 06-Feb-14 17:02:14

Yes, I was thinking that you could suggest that you wear the knitted penis and if another bride turns up, you hastily run to the loo and pretend to be a loo roll cover. 'a BRIDE? Me? never guv'

KoalaFace Thu 06-Feb-14 17:02:21


This is so bizarre! Of course they can't tell you not to wear a white dress. That is crazy.

Is it the only nice hotel in the area? Is it so nice that their ridiculousness won't bother you the whole time? It would leave such a bad taste in my mouth I'd be better off finding somewhere else.

You're going to look beautiful and have a lovely day. Hopefully all while not giving that hotel a fucking pissing penny.

Thetallesttower Thu 06-Feb-14 17:02:43

I wore a proper long one to a dinner which was held in somewhere also used for weddings, but we were in a private dining room. No-one said anything at all about it- I certainly wouldn't have paraded up and down near the other bridal party, but it was all very discreet and just not an issue.

This dress is so not long bridal that I don't know what they are going on about, presumably you can wear white dresses to their restaurant! Is there any chance of changing hotels? Or having a different dress for the meal?

cory Thu 06-Feb-14 17:03:07

Seeing that this is not about competition over anything physically exclusive- like who gets to stand in the best photo spot- but merely about whether, as you sit down to dinner, your eyes will fall on somebody who may also be having a special day of her life could somebody please explain to me what kind of mentality you would need to have to think anything was being taken away from you?

Seeing that you are not marrying the same bridegroom, entertaining the same guests for dinner or have the same family and friends who may be expected to take an interest in the proceedings, what exactly can you take away from this woman by merely sitting in a restaurant?

The sense that she is of special and exclusive interest to other dinner guests? But she won't be- they will be there for reasons of their own and not care very much about her either way. The sense that she is of special and exclusive interest to the hotel staff? But they do one of these packages every night and still have to think of the other guests too.

I'm really interested in how this (potential) other bride might be expected to think.

HamletsSister Thu 06-Feb-14 17:03:25

Tripadvisor is your friend!

If you really want to book there, cancel and rebook under a different name. Odds are, the person being a shit won't be there.

LEMmingaround Thu 06-Feb-14 17:03:27

That is bloody outrageous - i would book somewhere else! wankers

SarahBumBarer Thu 06-Feb-14 17:03:33

There are hundreds of places with one wedding policies but none that would enfoce it to the level of ridiculousness of this hotel. I wonder if they would say anything if you were just wearing a white dress (tempted to try).

Is Slaley Hall any good OP? I only know the spa (fab) but around Durham area?

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Thu 06-Feb-14 17:03:44

Cancel, book another hotel and don't mention the word "wedding".

It's an L.K. Bennett dress, from their main collection. They aren't a wedding outfitters. Anyone at all booked to dine in the hotel that night could rock up wearing that dress, although probably very few of the men could carry it off successfully.

I can see a "no Wedding Dresses" policy, but a "no white dresses" policy is utterly ridiculous.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Thu 06-Feb-14 17:04:06

cancel and get someone with a different name to rebook and do not mention weddings, then rock up wearing it and look shocked if they say anything. deny all knowledge of a wedding say you are dressed for dinner with friends for a special birthday. or book elsewhere. if they know its a bridal do then they will likely up the price. alternately find a lovely small local restaurant and arrange a wedding meal with them, they will probably do nicer food than a hotel anyway and might dress things up a bit making it feel special for you. much better than an anonymous hotel tbh. You could then head off to a hotel wearing whatever you like.

expatinscotland Thu 06-Feb-14 17:04:09

I'm off to tweet about this appalling establishment.

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 06-Feb-14 17:04:24

Lovely dress.

Shit policy

HavantGuard Thu 06-Feb-14 17:05:02

'We believe every wedding should be different so we can arrange all the extras too and, because no two weddings are held on the same day, it truly is your wedding day.'

From their website.

ormirian Thu 06-Feb-14 17:05:02

Cancel! It looks like a very beautiful stylish cream dress - it doesn't scream WEDDING to me. I think they are being a bit petty. As vivipru says you want to be made to feel special and valued as a newly married couple, not an embarrassment that they want to try and hide away. Is there nowhere else you could try?

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Thu 06-Feb-14 17:05:21
AnneWentworth Thu 06-Feb-14 17:06:06

Yes, take your custom elsewhere. I do get the one bride thing if they are paying for the package, but this clearly is a bit different.

I love the dress.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat Thu 06-Feb-14 17:06:48

If you wish us to consult on any alternative dresses please do not hesitate in sending us the link to the webpage

Oh, Hell no!

They don't get to pick your dress!

I think you need to go somewhere else where you can be appreciated as the beautiful bride that you will be (dress is lovely BTW) NOT as the second best bride (that isn't spending as much with them as the Alpha bride obviously is hmm )

AnneWentworth Thu 06-Feb-14 17:06:59

Bruno - shock where on earth did you find that. What did you put in google to come up with that.

SarahBumBarer Thu 06-Feb-14 17:07:21

Ah sorry - Darlington end of Co Durham - a bit too far south for my knowledge!

Nerfmother Thu 06-Feb-14 17:07:34

God you lot. All this outrage.
The hotel have told you of their policy. You don't like it. It's not illegal or discriminatory so therefore you can choose not to go.
If for example the other bride sees the op, she will not know the circumstances and will assume two weddings are going on. The hotel will not want this. The other bride is paying a premium to enjoy her wedding day as she sees fit.
It's unfortunate but not unfair.

HavantGuard Thu 06-Feb-14 17:08:20

It's about ££££

Only one wedding a day so only 52 Saturdays a year to fight over. The more exclusive it is the more they can charge.

Hulababy Thu 06-Feb-14 17:08:25

I'd definitely ook somewhere else.
If they want to offer exclusive bridal packages then they should have a plicy of tht is all they have - and not try to make extra money booking up the restaurant as well.

Are they vetting everyone's outfit as they arrive to make sure noone wers something white, cream or ivory - or any form of gown at all tbh just in case it matches the bridal party's colours?

Are brides really that shallow they need to be the only one dressed up in a venue? Really? Cos I have met one or two bridezillas in my time - but this isn't something evn they have come up with - or if they have they've chosen a venue where it is only them there.

I can understand not wanting to be party of a parade of brides one after another - like some beach type weddings - but not being offended by seeing someone else in a white dress!

Ridiculous policy.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Thu 06-Feb-14 17:08:27

Not quite as posh, but what about the Hall Garth Golf And Country Club?

MikeLitoris Thu 06-Feb-14 17:08:40

What date are you getting married?

I have visions of crowds of mumsnetters turning up in meringue dresses for dinner grin

BobaFetaCheese Thu 06-Feb-14 17:08:49

Can DH and your other two guests wear wedding dresses too?

Or book a civil partnership there with a girlfriend and then come to blows when you're both rocking dresses.

Sorry they've been arses, hope MN has cheered you up a little.

cory Thu 06-Feb-14 17:09:13

I am beginning to feel really sorry for this poor (mythical, dreamt up by fevered hotel managerial imagination) woman who is so emotionally fragile that she won't feel she has had a proper wedding if she is allowed the slightest reminder that anywhere in the world (say at a local registrary office not linked to her hotel) there exists another woman who has also got married on this day. Life must be horribly difficult if you suffer from her affliction: a whole planet will billions of other human beings just like her: whatever she is doing it is a pretty good bet that somebody else happens to be doing the same thing. Doesn't bear thinking of.

FuckingWankwings Thu 06-Feb-14 17:09:15

Cheeky feckers! 'If you wish us to consult on any alternative dresses' indeed.

Cancel, remind them how much money they're losing as you do so, tell them you'll be telling all your invisible online friends just how shitty their policy is, and suggest that they consult your foot as it makes its way up their fucking pompous arse.

chipshop Thu 06-Feb-14 17:09:25

They've obviously freaked out at the mention of the word wedding due to their policy, but asking you to email dress links is ridiculous. Anyone could wear that dress to dinner and not be a bride. They should have just cancelled your booking if they have such an issue with it. I'd be looking elsewhere.

TryDrawing Thu 06-Feb-14 17:09:53
Quinteszilla Thu 06-Feb-14 17:10:00

Holy crap, what a terrible hotel.

How dare they dictate that people cannot wear a white dress when dining! angry

MistyB Thu 06-Feb-14 17:10:24

Where are you getting married? Could the powers of MN find you an even better hotel within budget for the four of you? Your dress is beautiful and the hotel are being obtuse. Just don't mention wedding with your booking!

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Thu 06-Feb-14 17:10:54

Are you in Durham OP?

Is it a hotel / just restaurant you want?

How about Lumley Castle

Hulababy Thu 06-Feb-14 17:11:03

BTW - did they tell you of their policy before you booked?

drbartlet Thu 06-Feb-14 17:11:25

could you cancel the booking, then make the exact same booking in an other name (perhaps one of the guests) without mentioning the wedding element? that way you're just four people having dinner.

Tweasels Thu 06-Feb-14 17:11:27

Wear a different dress, something black, get it OK'd. Then add a huge veil, massive bouquet, hang a horseshoe off your arm and attach a huge Just Married sign to DP's back.

Or, more sensibly. Cancel your booking, re book in your friends names and turn up in the (beautiful btw) white dress. No one will even notice.

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Thu 06-Feb-14 17:11:37

Are you in Durham OP?

Is it a hotel / just restaurant you want?

How about Lumley Castle

ViviPru Thu 06-Feb-14 17:11:40

the other bride sees the op, she will not know the circumstances and will assume two weddings are going on.

If I saw someone wearing the dress the OP has linked to, I wouldn't think "Bride". Especially on my wedding day. I could barely see DH for all the hullabaloo.

Preciousbane Thu 06-Feb-14 17:12:31

What a lovely dress, I think they need to be sent this thread, to feel the disapproval.

Even if they backtrack I would not want to give them my custom now.

Or you could rock up in jeans but with a Cathedral length veil and tiara.

Tweasels Thu 06-Feb-14 17:12:38

Oops xpost

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 17:12:47

Thanks for the support everyone grin

Was actually in tears earlier but laughing now, especially at the link to the huge red velvet dress that isn't white or cream!

dontcallmemam Thu 06-Feb-14 17:12:57

I do understand the 'one bride' policy. What I don't understand is the restaurant, will you be sharing the same dining room? It would be odd for you & your guests to be hearing the speeches etc. i would imagine the other bridal party will be a separate function room, with loos & bar etc. She won't even see you and if she did wouldn't presume you were another bride.
Maybe your DH tried to book the bridal suite or some romance package & they got twitchy.
That dress is gorgeous BTW

ChocolateWombat Thu 06-Feb-14 17:13:35

Hello. If you are really keen to go to that hotel, cancel the booking and then re book the table under either your name or that of one of your guests. Then just wear the dress.
They won't mention it to you, whatever their policy, because how could you be expected to know. Don't do this though if you will spend the meal feeling anxious you are about to be thrown out,nor angry with the hotel, because either will spoil your day.
If you aren't too bothered about that hotel, go elsewhere. Then you won't have any of these issues to think about and will be totally free to enjoy your wedding meal. I'd do the latter, to be honest.
Have a lovely time.

ormirian Thu 06-Feb-14 17:13:39

And another thing. Once you have had your wedding and gone elsewhere for your wedding night and celebration meal, book a meal at the same hotel one saturday evening in wedding season and wear your gorgeous dress. Just to see if they descend on you with a dustsheet to cover your whiteness from the eyes of the other bridal party .... or whether they simply don't notice or care.

Armadale Thu 06-Feb-14 17:13:50

I think your dress looks really beautiful.

It is quite an odd policy, to be honest. Normally a bride would pay for exclusive use of a venue as a means of ensuring she would get the day she wants...this place seems to be saying, well we are happy to take revenue from others as well, but please don't make this too obvious by turning up in a wedding dress.

I have never known of a venue still open to members of the public except brides confused

I think there are probably other lovely places you can go to in your lovely dress smile

Whatisaweekend Thu 06-Feb-14 17:13:57

This is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard - it's not like you are in a big meringue n' veil combo. In the summer, I quite often wear white/cream clothes - would they turn me away from dinner??

I would tell them where to shove it but not before getting everyone who can to tweet about it and put a bit of tarnish on their precious reputation.

difficultpickle Thu 06-Feb-14 17:14:16

Howabout Seaham Hall

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Thu 06-Feb-14 17:14:27

Nerfmother, have you looked at the dress? If the other bride saw the OP I doubt she would assume that two weddings were going on, because it's a perfectly normal (though nice) day dress that happens to be cream. For that dress to be "too bridal", what they really mean is that they have a "no dresses in any shade of white, cream, champagne, oyster or ecru to be worn anywhere on the hotel grounds at any time over a weekend" policy.

I wonder if they extend that to cover "no red dresses" in case the bride booked on that day is from an cultural background where red rather than white is the traditional wedding colour?

They won't want to risk another bride getting arsey though if they have a one wedding only policy, I was at a hotel wedding reception once and the bride and a couple of us went for a wander round in the evening and came across another wedding party in an open bar area, their bride who was clearly drunk got very arsey with our bride for daring to be in HER hotel, our bride shrugged her shoulders and told her to fuck off. It wasn't very nice. However they were both in huge meringues, flowers in hair, unmistakably brides, unlike how you will be dressed.

Could you cancel and get your friend to re-book in their name instead with no mention of the wedding.

sighbynight Thu 06-Feb-14 17:15:12

Seaham Hall is also lovely.

ViviPru Thu 06-Feb-14 17:16:11

How about a bit of Michelin Star?

Chattymummyhere Thu 06-Feb-14 17:16:11

Sounds like a stupid rule at our hotel I passed a bride on the way back from her wedding while I was leaving to go to mine... I'm on her wedding video! We admired each other's dresses. I'm sure there was more than 2 of us since there was 4 bridal suites.

AliceinWinterWonderland Thu 06-Feb-14 17:16:29

Personally I think you should have about 30 people show up in various white dresses on the day. grin

Do they routinely refuse to seat/serve anyone in a white dress then? hmm Just in case it's "bridal" ???

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow Thu 06-Feb-14 17:19:07

That's ridiculous!!!! I feel a mass tweet from
Mumsnet coming on!!!

Alice I was just about to suggest that! I could probably squeeze into my wedding dress. And I wouldn't be a bride, just a nutter in a frock!

justmyview Thu 06-Feb-14 17:19:41

I think your dress is brilliant. I'd look for another hotel. If you turn up in the cream dress intending to bluff it, they might well turn you away, especially since they've given you prior warning. That would add insult to injury................ and never mention weddings - just say it's a family party

ChocolateWombat Thu 06-Feb-14 17:20:22

I bet this kind of thing happens a lot. People turn up for a meal in their wedding dress. There is never going to be an attempt to throw them out at that point. They would be in the public restaurant and the other bride in the reception room, so unlikely toe contact.
It is just unfortunate your boyfriend mentioned it, when the hotel had this policy. Most hotels wouldn't have this policy and would simply say Congratulations and maybe give you a free bottle of sparkly. He was unlucky.
I guess the person he spoke to was doing his job. The hotel doesn't knowingly allow other brides, and once the person in the hotel knew, they had to enforce the policy. Some brides do want to have all the attention and think another bride will steal their thunder. It is ridiculous, but I guess an expensive hotel panders to those feelings, to get the business from an expensive wedding.
Personally I couldn't be there now without feeli g angry or upset. You could choose to just turn up anyway in the dress or as I said before, re book in another name and just turn up. However you will only be doing this to make a point to the hotel. It is your weddi g day and you want to spend it enjoying yourself, not feeling bitter. Go elsewhere.

CajaDeLaMemoria Thu 06-Feb-14 17:20:44

Anyone fancy a wedding-dress-clad flashmob?

We could all sing something especially wedding-y. I can't think what, though.

blahblahblah2014 Thu 06-Feb-14 17:20:56

Go somewhere where you are free to celebrate your day, where the waiting staff make a fuss of you, and everyone is happy for you!

Don't let the bastards get you down!

Lovely dress by the way, classy!

ShatnersBassoon Thu 06-Feb-14 17:21:17

They're being idiots. I hope you take great pleasure in telling them to get stuffed.

hillsy27 Thu 06-Feb-14 17:21:20

We stayed in a hotel opposite our wedding venue (it was a school ) after our evening do I was walking through the car park and bumped into another bride who had her wedding at the hotel . it was lovely having a chat about each others day as we negotiated the car park barefoot !
I was also bridesmaid for a friend who had her wedding at a large hotel . there were 2 other weddings in the same hotel at the same time. it wasn't a problem. everyone was happy - although the hotel was very organised and the wedding parties actually met.
If i was you i would change to a different hotel who would make me feel special on my day ! Yanbu.

I'd ask them what was "bridal" in their opinion?? Because they don't have a clue!!

If the offer exclusivity to brides then the whole hotel should be shut to the public.

TryDrawing Thu 06-Feb-14 17:21:46

White wedding, of course Caja smile

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Thu 06-Feb-14 17:22:03

Rockcliffe... if thats the golf club place its not that nice really. food is pretentious and not that special. staff are very young and inexperienced, there are nicer places tbh.

I am shocked that you aren't tempted by BrunoBrookes' vagina-trimmed wedding dress, Prebend! grin

ViviPru Thu 06-Feb-14 17:22:24

Anyone fancy a wedding-dress-clad flashmob

SO up for this....

Me too, Vivi - not that I fit I to my dress any more. sad

Dammit - fit into...

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Thu 06-Feb-14 17:24:09

You could ask if it would be OK if you wore the dress but staged a screaming stand-up row with your DH in the hotel foyer where you yell "I can't believe that we'll have been married for ten years next month and this is how you are treating me!" so that the other bride doesn't suspect that it's your wedding day.

ChocolateWombat Thu 06-Feb-14 17:24:13

I'm feeling more and more convinced the OP should go elsewhere. All of us posters are angry at the hotel policy and treatment and want to teach them a lesson or make a point of principle.
However it is easy for us to say this. We won't have to actually do it. And most importantly it is the OPs wedding day. It's so important she can relax and enjoy it, and not feel she gave up her enjoyment to make a point. The key thing above making a point of principle is that she have a good day. I only think that can happen elsewhere now.
See it as the hotels loss, their mean spiritedness etc etc and rise above it, move on and enjoy your day elsewhere.

Preciousbane Thu 06-Feb-14 17:24:16

I want to go to dinner at the Raby Hunt restaurant now, it looks lovely.

I had the best fish and chips I have eaten in my entire life in Durham last year overlooking a square with a monument in. Anyone know what it is called? Not suggesting you go there op, ketchup would be an arse to get out of that lovely frock.

Will you be up for posting a pic post wedding of you in your beautiful dress?

JanePurdy Thu 06-Feb-14 17:24:41

This is weird. So a wedding is taking place there, but they don't have exclusive use of the venue, as they are accepting dinner reservations from other diners. But they want to veto what other diners wear confused honestly OP either ignore them & go in your lovely dress or find somewhere else. I would be inclined to find somewhere else - & I won't be going to Rockcliffe in co Durham ever!

BalloonSlayer Thu 06-Feb-14 17:25:09

shock at this.

How very dare they.

I'd suggest:

"Thank you for your email, and your kind offer to tell me whether or not my wedding dress meets your standards. I assure you that when the day arrives that I feel ready to let a pimply hotel receptionist in a polyester suit decide what I wear on my Wedding Day, I will rush, nay, stampede to book my dinner at your fine establishment, rather than any of the many others of equal, or greater, quality in the area. A very good day to you."

Billy idol - white wedding!

However, I think we need to think of the other bride here. So flash mobs are out.

Have you asked the hotel to ask the bride of she objects to you having a meal there?

My hotel was a one bride a day jobby, it wouldn't have bothered me of a bride had a small meal in the restaurant. What did bother me was them using all my flowers and decorations I PAID FOR AND ARRANGED TO BE PUT UP the next day for a wedding fair. They quickly heard of my annoyance and swiftly took them all down. Shysters!

Longdistance Thu 06-Feb-14 17:27:07

I love your dress op.

I was gonna suggest Seaham Hall too, as it's near my mil.

TinyTwoTears Thu 06-Feb-14 17:27:38

brunobrookes I hope you are a wedding dress advisor in RL grin

Op, hope you have a lovely day wherever you go and you have chosen a lovely dress. thanks

notsureofmyself Thu 06-Feb-14 17:27:54

Nerfmother have you seen the dress on the link? While it's a lovely dress to wear to get married in, it is not a "wedding dress". If you haven't seen the link, have a loom and it will become obvious why the hotel is being ridiculous.

If you have seen it, I don't understand why you think it's a problem?

RegTheMonkey Thu 06-Feb-14 17:29:19

So if four friends booked dinner and an overnight stay, turned up and a wedding happened to be going on, and one of the women was wearing a white dress - would they turn them away? It's ridiculous and I never heard anything like it.

thefirstmrsrochester Thu 06-Feb-14 17:29:27

Anyone fancy a wedding-dress-clad flash mob

Just what the doctor ordered grin

Nerfmother Thu 06-Feb-14 17:29:28

Yes I did see the dress, I worse something similar when I got married (registry office years ago) so it does have a bridal 'look' to me. I just think, you don't agree with the policy, they want to keep the person paying most happy, go elsewhere. Don't ruin your lovely day making some kind of statement, sitting there waiting to be challenged - how fun does that sound?

hoppinghare Thu 06-Feb-14 17:29:45

That's a beautiful dress and I would definitely want to keep it on for the night. Is there another 5 star hotel you could go to? Failing that I would insist that it is not technically bridal wear and that I would be wearing it.

Cravey Thu 06-Feb-14 17:30:14

If they have a one bride policy then all they are doing is protecting themselves. They will have a contract with the one bride and won't want that broken in any way shape or form. If it was me I would be taking my custom elsewhere. I understand where they are coming from but I would not, in any universe be told what I could or couldn't wear to dinner.

offblackeggshell Thu 06-Feb-14 17:31:01

Beautiful dress! Have a fabulous day, where ever you decide to spend it. I can't see why anyone would want to go to a hotel that thinks it can speak to customers like that, but if it is where you want to be, enjoy!

ViviPru Thu 06-Feb-14 17:31:01

* want to go to dinner at the Raby Hunt restaurant now*

Me too! Right ol' treck from Pru Heights though by the looks....

summertimeandthelivingiseasy Thu 06-Feb-14 17:31:11

Sounds like a bridezilla hotel. They are making things difficult because they don't want a 'wedding' on their premises, without their overpriced, over the top package.

Find somewhere nicer, and duct-tape over DP's mouth before you book.

(Dress is gorgeous - better than anything 'bridal')

Cravey Thu 06-Feb-14 17:31:45

Also if the have a wedding that to them is worth thousands of pounds. They will more than likely turn you away if you wear that dress. Which they lawfully can. It's awful but the hotel industry is all about the money. Lovely dress though.

ApprenticeViper Thu 06-Feb-14 17:32:05

What a flock of twats! "If you wish to consult us on any alternative dresses" indeed! Not bloody likely angry

Do they ask everyone who has booked a table in their restaurant for the same evening as a wedding, exactly what their outfit plans are? I bloody bet they don't.

Prebends buy the quilted dildo dress and really piss them off! Only joking, your LK Bennett is awesome and so elegant. Hope you have a fabulous day, and don't give the cheeky Rockliffe bastards a penny of your money grin

It is ridiculous, considering they have seen the dress and still consider it bridal.
It is beautiful but in no way particularly bridal.
Go somewhere you can celebrate and not feel you have to hide - you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Do not let them dictate your special day.

DuPainDuVinDuFromage Thu 06-Feb-14 17:32:47

That's appalling. Do you mind if I tell everyone I know how shitty Rockcliffe Hall are? (I live near there so it might actually turn away some business that they would have received!). One of my friends had cause for complaint when she went there for a spa day a couple of years ago - can't remember the details but they treated her and her friends like crap, basically.

Please do wear your dress at whichever hotel you choose in the end (we stayed in Lumley Castle the night after our wedding...). If you stick with Rockcliffe Hall though, I would check the terms and conditions to make sure they can't actually, under the contract, turn you away at the door if you turn up in a dress they have vetoed (bizarre, shocking and incredible though that would be, it would be upsetting for you on your wedding day and you don't want to have to deal with that hassle).

And of course you should practice your sad face for the daily mail article grin

Hope you have a fantastic wedding!

ChocolateWombat Thu 06-Feb-14 17:32:57

Sounds like this one bride policy thing is becoming more common. As someone said earlier, shows something about society. There are clearly people out there who don't like sharing the limelight and hotels are encouraging that.
It's tricky, because they are within their rights to have that policy. It is very unkind in the OPs case too. The only thing I can think of that hotels should do, is ensure they send out all of their terms and conditions when they confirm a booking. I bet they do something like refer people to the terms on the website and there in tiny letters is this policy. But no one really reads those, but I guess they have then covered themselves.
If someone just turned up in white, I feel fairly sure they wouldn't do anything. It is different though once you've been told.
So I don't agree with the policy, but I think the OP has been particularly unlucky with what happened to her. Move onto somewhere you are welcome and enjoy your day, rather than give your money to a place that doesn't want you, just to make a point of principle. Your enjoyment is most important.

You could buy another dress and change into it after the service before going to the restaurant. It might be fun to choose another nice dress.
But only if you like the idea.
I think I might be nervous in case anyone said anything and I'd rather feel confident throughout. But I'm sure no=one would say anything really, especially as not a big weddingy dress smile
Hope you have a lovely day and evening x

DuPainDuVinDuFromage Thu 06-Feb-14 17:33:15

PS gorgeous dress by the way!

SlimJiminy Thu 06-Feb-14 17:33:41

I'd want to be somewhere where the knowledge of the nature of our visit was met with a "Ooh how lovely, we'll be sure to make it an extra special stay for you" rather than "Ok. We'll take your money. But at no point must you resemble a couple on your wedding day under any circumstances.

^ This ^

Wouldn't you prefer somewhere that'll offer their congratulations and make you and your guests feel welcome? This attitude would really spoil things for me. Take your lovely frock and spend your money somewhere else. It's gorgeous.

And totally take the piss with sending those links - some brilliant suggestions already!

HermioneWeasley Thu 06-Feb-14 17:33:48

Am v up for wedding dress flash mob. Unfortunately I can't get in mine any more so will have to order TryDrawing's red velvet number

summertimeandthelivingiseasy Thu 06-Feb-14 17:34:17

I think any decent hotel could cope with dinner for four, in a cream dress, with style!
Agree about the £££££££££££££

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Thu 06-Feb-14 17:37:17

this place is fairly near Rockcliffe or what about Ballentynes (sp?) restaurant (may also be an hotel) actually in Darlington? I have eaten there and it was nice. there are also some lovely country pub / restaurant places in the area with good food all very posh

EauRouge Thu 06-Feb-14 17:38:04

I doubt I could fit into my dress any more but DH has got a lovely wedding dress that he wore for Halloween. I'm sure he'd love the opportunity to wear it again.

Un-fucking-believable that they asked you to email dress suggestions for them to approve. angry

FuckingWankwings Thu 06-Feb-14 17:38:39

Caja and Drawing, YYY to singing 'White Wedding'! grin

Or 'Going to the Chapel of Love' for a more retro effect.

OwlCapone Thu 06-Feb-14 17:38:49

This will be fine instead, I'm sure.

Definetly dont give them your money!!! Find an alternative Restaurant / Hotel.

grin owl genius!!

VelmaD Thu 06-Feb-14 17:43:49

My wedding was in 2005 but we nearly had issues because of this. I booked into the hotel the night before and the night of my wedding. The hotel asked me very nicely to not be around in my wedding dress as they had an official wedding party there. I had my reception elsewhere, so literally walked through reception on my way out that afternoon - wedding was at four, and the official one was in full swing. Couple of guests mumoured, couple said hello, nothing major. We came back at midnight to the bar and got royally drunk in the bar area in my wedding dress - by then the other party and reception didnt care.

happylass Thu 06-Feb-14 17:44:02

So they have a 'one bride per day policy' but they are happy to have you, a bride, there and take your money as long as you don't look like a bride?? By the way your dress is lovely but there is no way if anyone saw someone wearing it they would automatically think bride! They are being ridiculous! If I were you I'd mail them a link to this thread and hopefully they will see the error of their ways! Take your business elsewhere and have a fantastic wedding day!

I could crochet folks into their dresses that no longer fit!!

OP ignore us looking for a fight stand off. The hotel are within their rights to refuse service to anyone (most likely us lot turning up looking like the zombie brides of the apocalypse)

Cancel your booking, and get somewhere that wants your business. This lot clearly don't. More fool them!

AmberLeaf Thu 06-Feb-14 17:45:12

If they have a one bride policy then all they are doing is protecting themselves. They will have a contract with the one bride and won't want that broken in any way shape or form

They can't have though, the hotel does offer an exclusivity package, but that includes sole use of the entire hotel, so if the OP has been able to book, then that bride can't have gone for the exclusive package.

It's silly, as you will obviously not be dining alongside the wedding party that has booked that day.

I'd go elsewhere.

culturemulcher Thu 06-Feb-14 17:45:35

Haven't time to read the whole threat - but wanted to say - gorgeous dress and ridiculous hotel policy! Hope you get them to see sense. They're being stupid.

WaitMonkey Thu 06-Feb-14 17:45:37

grin flock of twats.

This is crazy. Do they vet all dinners in case they are wearing white/cream ?

Please dont give these jumped up twits any money or memories.
You deserve a lovely day being treated kindly, not this nonsense.
flowers <<<<<not bridal!

TossedSaladsAndScrambledEggs Thu 06-Feb-14 17:47:41

Bruno that is like a massive cock dress!

culturemulcher Thu 06-Feb-14 17:47:42

thread not threat smile

Name and shame and we will all turn up that day in wedding dresses.

GinSoakedMisery Thu 06-Feb-14 17:48:16

What about this instead?

Why don't you look into booking Beamish Hall. It is beautiful.

NewtRipley Thu 06-Feb-14 17:49:53

what a very stupid policy, and especially so since that dress could easily not be a bridal gown (it's lovely, BTW), and yours is not a large party.

That would pee me off enough to take myself elsewhere.

Cravey Thu 06-Feb-14 17:50:26

Amber the nature of the contract will state one bride only. Or words along that line. I would imagine that a wedding there would cost in excess of 30k. The slightest thing that means them breaking the contract will have them panicking. Exclusive use of hotel and one bride policy are two totally separate things I'm afraid. Op take your money and your lovely dress and go somewhere else. The service you recieve that evening will be under par anyway as they will all be making damn sure the bridal party is happy.

innisglas Thu 06-Feb-14 17:50:32

I definitely would not give them my hard-earned money

FairPhyllis Thu 06-Feb-14 17:51:14

Tell them it's OK, you've changed the dress.

Then turn up in something like this

Seriously though I think I would cancel. They are bonkers. How presumptuous to want to advance vet your dress!

newyearhere Thu 06-Feb-14 17:51:23

Get them some publicity in the local DM equivalent about how ridiculous their policy is grin

gordyslovesheep Thu 06-Feb-14 17:51:33

Oh OP your dress is just beautiful

I am so up for a bridal flash mob - I still have my dress in my wardrobe - I think if 20 mumsnetters turn up in full veils you might just slip past the dickhead security x

Hulababy Thu 06-Feb-14 17:51:34

TH even if they backtracked for me it would be spoilt ow.

It's your wedding day. You don't want to feel like they don't want you there - and by the sounds of it, they don't much tbh. They are only interested in their bridal party - think the rest of the hotel#s guests that day/evening are very much second best to them.

newyearhere Thu 06-Feb-14 17:53:19

Or just cancel. That's what I'd do. What shoddy treatment - not hospitable at all, and not what you want for your wedding celebrations!

Both Beamish Hall and Jesmond Dene House are lovely.

landrover Thu 06-Feb-14 17:55:20

Waiting for more wedding dress ideas!!!! Op your dress is solo beautiful, enjoy a different hotel xx

ProfondoRosso Thu 06-Feb-14 17:58:05

That's an absolute nonsense, and so stupid for them to be alienating paying customers because of an idiotic policy.

If you've not spoken to the highest up person in the organisation, phone them and complain. And if they stick to their guns, take your custom elsewhere and remind all your friends to blacklist the place

CoffeeTea103 Thu 06-Feb-14 17:58:13

Op please cancel and go somewhere else. Whilst I understand their policy is fair to a bride using the venue, it's your wedding day as well and you should wear your beautiful dress.
Go somewhere else where you would be welcomed and treated well.

whatsagoodusername Thu 06-Feb-14 17:58:30

1. Find somewhere else to eat/stay.

2. Don't tell the hotel. Instead, bombard them with emails regarding a suitable dress. Cancel at the last minute, if you have paid a deposit (in time for its refund). If not, just don't turn up.

3. Send a load of Mumsnetters to dinner there in their wedding dresses while you enjoy yourself in another, lovelier venue. Maybe pop in to see the chaos if it suits you grin

Remembermyname Thu 06-Feb-14 17:59:04

Just Another vote for Lumley Castle!

newyearhere Thu 06-Feb-14 18:01:04

You could go for one of these

sparklystar27 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:01:21

Theyre being ridiculous not you. I'd cancel and go elsewhere.

EauRouge Thu 06-Feb-14 18:03:15

This isn't white or cream. Email them the link, see if they approve.

torcat Thu 06-Feb-14 18:08:10

How ridiculous and precious! Either go and wear it anyway, what are they going to do about it? Or go somewhere else, surely 4 weeks away you can find something nice, that's what I would do.

beepbeep Thu 06-Feb-14 18:08:59

Jesmond Dene House is lovely

Beamish Hall is lovely! I had my wedding at South Causey Inn which is near BH and they couldnt have done more abd would totally welcome your party no matter size or attire

SingingGerbil Thu 06-Feb-14 18:13:54

No way would I go anywhere that tried to dictate to me what I could and couldn't wear. I reckon they sound like right arseholes, is that really the sort of place you want to go? Pick somewhere else where they will treat you with more respect.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Thu 06-Feb-14 18:13:57

OP ignore us looking for a fight stand off. The hotel are within their rights to refuse service to anyone (most likely us lot turning up looking like the zombie brides of the apocalypse) I just had a vision of a bunch of brides doing the thriller dance on the golf club lawn outside the dining room windows... oh how I wish it could be done grin

TossedSaladsAndScrambledEggs Thu 06-Feb-14 18:14:08

Can someone do me a working link for the op's dress please? Can't even seem to cut and paste onmy phone

ohhifruit Thu 06-Feb-14 18:14:53

You dress is lovely but I think if you wear it to this venue even with a disguise of some kind ('tashes are on the way out again, so don't go hipster wink) you will feel really uncomfortable for the whole duration of your meal and stay. It shouldn't that way but you will.

I can recommend Seaham Hall.

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 18:16:22

All sorted. Staying at the lovely Cleveland Tontine (my first choice, but they were previously fully booked), who have no bridal policy and no wish to pre-vet my outfit grin

Cravey Thu 06-Feb-14 18:16:58

Op I don't think I would wear it as they may very well refuse you entry / service. As I said they want to protect any contract they have in place with the bride who is getting married there. If your husband to be had not said anything it wouldn't be an issue. Blooming men. I do know however that all they will do is stand by the contract as it will be worth so much money to them. And as I said the service won't be all it should be, as they will all be devoted to the bridal party. Sad but true. Go somewhere else. It's not worth ruining your day over.

Cravey Thu 06-Feb-14 18:17:31

Awww fab. Have an amazing day.

EauRouge Thu 06-Feb-14 18:17:35

Glad you got it sorted. Have a lovely wedding!

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 18:18:05

Just hope Rockliffe Hall refund the booking...or I'll be sending MNers round in their wedding dresses!

expatinscotland Thu 06-Feb-14 18:18:30

Result! Cancel the other wankers immediately.

Quinteszilla Thu 06-Feb-14 18:18:44

That place looks great!

babybarrister Thu 06-Feb-14 18:20:06

anyone who had booked the whole hotel would not be in a position of having the dining room open to the public so tough titties to the other bride IMO!

Cravey Thu 06-Feb-14 18:20:19

They will refund the deposit. You just need to say that at no point when you booked were you aware there was a single wedding policy. That it was then pointed out to you that there was a clause in place and you were advised you could not wear your gown. This in effect means they could not offer you what you were expecting so therefore full refund as service could not / would not be provided.

Splatt34 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:21:00

So glad you have found an alternative you love. They don't deserve your money. You do deserve to be treated like a princess. Wishing you an amazing day. x

ChocolateWombat Thu 06-Feb-14 18:21:38

OP, if they don't want to refund, point out that YOU wanted to come and THEY didn't want you. Any trouble and a letter to Head office, or the threat of it should sort it. I would play upon your great disappointment that they won't have you.
Can't imagine this will be a problem, but do it sooner rather than later.

kungfupannda Thu 06-Feb-14 18:21:39

Glad it's sorted. I was about to suggest Matfen Hall if you didn't mind going further afield. Or Langley Castle.

Brummiegirl15 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:22:00

This is the story of my life at the moment!! My sis is getting married in June and has used a lovely stately home which doesn't have any accommodation.

We've therefore tried to book into some very nice hotels in Warwickshire area for night before and wedding night. Have been turned away from quite a few due to one bride policy - Billesley Manor and Walton Hall consider yourselves shamed!!!!!

It's really common and they absolutely will not budge. It isn't even about the rooms, it's the F&B that a large wedding reception brings. I work a venue, F&B is key and can make thousands!!!

They couldn't give a stuff about the fact that you are bringing business there - if there is any chance it might conflict with the larger booking, no chance.

Trust me, a venue will only ever do what suits them and guide their customers to doing that.

OP - do not bother wasting your time and money on this hotel, find somewhere else and DO NOT mention wedding. This policy is far more common than you realise. My poor sis has been in floods of tears. Not worth it, plus said wedding will take over everywhere. More places they can go, more pissed they can get and that equals more money for them!!!

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 18:22:50

And finally ... Just had to point out they didn't even have a bridal party booking for that day - a Friday.

All this fuss was just in case some bridal party booked a massive expensive wedding (on a Friday with four weeks notice) confused

pudcat Thu 06-Feb-14 18:22:54

The web site says single wedding policy, not single bride. OP would not be having wedding there.

Damnautocorrect Thu 06-Feb-14 18:23:20

Come to this a bit late, beautiful dress. Stupid hotel for wanting to vet your outfit.

What about Headlam Hall

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Thu 06-Feb-14 18:25:32

I live very very near Rockliffe. They have more than one restaurant anyway, the tight gets.

Croft is okayish. What about Headlam Hall? Utterly gorgeous place. Or the Morritt at Greta Bridge?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Thu 06-Feb-14 18:26:30

Ah, just RTFT. The Tontine will be fab. Fuck Rockliffe!

clippityclop Thu 06-Feb-14 18:27:05

Gorgeous dress, spend your money at another hotel! Congratulations and have a wonderful day.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Thu 06-Feb-14 18:28:12

That final detail is just outstanding, OP.

MisForMumNotMaid Thu 06-Feb-14 18:28:22

Or Redworth Hall They're doing a bottle of sparkling wine, 3 course meal, room and breakfast for 2 for £114. It has a spa and some suites/ 4 poster rooms so maybe you could upgrade for not much if you ask.

I don't know the hotel though i've just looked at web images.

EauRouge Thu 06-Feb-14 18:36:00

Wait, there wasn't even another wedding booked? What. The. Fuck confused So are white and cream dresses just banned all the time?

BOFtastic Thu 06-Feb-14 18:36:34

The Tontine looks gorgeous, and far less corporate than the Headland.

wonkylegs Thu 06-Feb-14 18:38:59

Good thing we didn't end up going to rockcliffe for my birthday dinner the other day and went to The Bay Horse instead. Food was gorgeous but I don't think they do rooms.
I was going to suggest Seaham Hall or if it wasn't too far, we got married at Beamish Hall which was wonderful.

diddl Thu 06-Feb-14 18:39:03

It's a lovely dress, glad you will be able to wear it somewhere else.

It's not traditionally bridal, maybe, but does it being worn by a bride make it bridal??

Dappydongle Thu 06-Feb-14 18:39:40

Please cancel and give a more hospitable hotel your money. Fuckers.

TheBeautifulVisit Thu 06-Feb-14 18:39:50 is very lovely.

brunette123 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:43:08

That is a lovely dress but not weddingy no way - it is a smart cream dress. Hotel is stupid

ProfondoRosso Thu 06-Feb-14 18:44:31

The Tontine looks way nicer than Rockliffe! It looks beautiful and intimate, much more suited to your lovely occasion than a big, modern place. Leave the flash bastards to it! grin

Wheels79 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:46:16

We didn't mention it when we booked our wedding night hotel. I turned up in full bridal garb quite willing to strip off in reception if they made a fuss (and then they would have begged me to stop). They didn't say a word and we headed to bed.

The next morning the bride from the wedding the night before was stomping around the breakfast room demanding poached eggs saying "I am the bride!" Urgh!

Glad you have found somewhere else. X

cargotrousers Thu 06-Feb-14 18:47:00

If the bride booked exclusive use tht means they book te whole hotel out and no one else stays. If they don't (and they haven't because you are staying) then tough shit. It's not like you're turning up in a BFGW number completely with veil and bridesmaids. I would kick the hotel into tick hand book somewhere else. Enjoy your day and congratulations!

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 06-Feb-14 18:47:02

They are being stuffy and bastardly about this, even if you turn up (in that dress or any other) you will still feel on edge and unhappy now. Go somewhere else where they'll be happy to have you and congratulate you, rather than making you feel like you should pretend it's not your wedding day! Other places would be happy to have you. Any smart hotel would snap up the chance of good publicity.

cargotrousers Thu 06-Feb-14 18:47:35

Kick the hotel into touch and*

TheBeautifulVisit Thu 06-Feb-14 18:48:13

I hope they apologise.

I hope you have a lovely wedding, OP. Your dress is adorable, I hope you have as good taste in men as you do in dresses. grin

dontcallmemam Thu 06-Feb-14 18:49:07

Have you considered sending them this link?

PenguinsDontEatKale Thu 06-Feb-14 18:50:53

Glad you have somewhere better to go.

I can understand the 'one bride' policy, but unless they made you aware of dress conditions at the time of booking (and presumably tell everyone not to wear anything white hmm) I think they are refusing to honour your booking. I would send them a long, snotty email pointing out that, although their policy is perfectly reasonable, their implementation is bonkers, and also that you would never have booked with them had they advised you of the policy in advance. So you'd like your money back please.

Plateofcrumbs Thu 06-Feb-14 18:52:17

Glad all is well that ends well - I cannot believe all this fuss and they don't even have a wedding booked!! WTF?!

OP your dress is absolutely stunning and I'm sure you will have the most amazing day!

CaptainHindsight Thu 06-Feb-14 18:52:35

I am imagining a bridezilla somewhere telling the hotel no other hotel guests can wear anything "bridal".

The poem smile

The dress is fantastic, I hope you wear it somewhere less wanky.

Your wedding sounds intimate. That is just my sort of wedding.

Congratulations. flowers

diamondlizard Thu 06-Feb-14 18:53:46

Glad you've found somewhere else, that was right right choice
Finding somewhere

galletti Thu 06-Feb-14 18:54:30

This has probably been said further up the thread, but ANYONE could turn up to the hotel wearing that dress, especially in the Summer. Would they refuse entry to anyone in a cream or white dress on the day of a wedding. Of course not! And I agree, it's lovely!

Hulababy Thu 06-Feb-14 18:54:43

Glad you have rearranged and booked somewhere with a more friendly approach to your special meal/evening.

And astounded that the original place didn't even have a wedding booked in for the night in question anyway - and only a month away so unlikely to!

ProfondoRosso Thu 06-Feb-14 18:55:42

Wheels, that story makes me weep for humanity! Good on you. grin

isisisis Thu 06-Feb-14 18:58:25

My friend does a cracking rendition of 'Could of been me' in drag. He'd be up for a Mumsnet flash mob. He did it at my wedding & battered DH with his handbag so hard he has bruises. We could set him on the manager.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Thu 06-Feb-14 18:58:44

Glad you found somewhere else. I hope you have a wonderful day.

MisForMumNotMaid Thu 06-Feb-14 18:59:34

Just reread and see you have booked elsewhere. So glad.

Have a lovely day.

BettyMacdonald Thu 06-Feb-14 19:00:33

Yay! Oh well done Prebends! now, have you sorted the entertainment yet or are we still coming up on a coach to do the thriller dance in our wedding frocks for you? not that there's a rats arse in hell chance of me fitting into mine grin. Congratulations and have a fab wedding day!

nennypops Thu 06-Feb-14 19:00:46

I hope you're going to publicise on Trip Advisor the fact that they won't let you eat there if you turn up in a white dress, and that they demand to know what you're going to wear when you book just in case you dare to turn up in white or cream and they happen to get a wedding booking that day.

BettyMacdonald Thu 06-Feb-14 19:02:30

Oh and I can't believe the hotel didn't even have a bloody booking! Loons! Please add a link to this thread with your cancellation grin

FairPhyllis Thu 06-Feb-14 19:02:49

So there isn't even another bride? WTF.

Why can't you be the designated bride for the evening? Because you won't be spending enough?

I think you have done the right thing by cancelling.

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 19:07:39

Nope, there wasn't even another bride. Made me feel pretty hmm that in you can't afford to pay for a massive wedding package so you're not allowed to be a bride having dinner and staying at our hotel.

At one point I was thinking I would need to return my dress, and just wear something I already owned, as we'd already made a non refundable payment on the room.

Glad we've got it sorted now though and I won't be made to feel bad about wanting a low-key weeding.

defineme Thu 06-Feb-14 19:07:47

I would tweet whoever owns their hotel group about the loss of business their policy has caused.
Glad you're sorted.

itsbetterthanabox Thu 06-Feb-14 19:09:12

What a weird policy. Why would someone care if another person was wearing a wedding dress confused. I think it's absurd that the hotel are telling you what to wear. Take your business elsewhere!

happylass Thu 06-Feb-14 19:11:08

Glad you've manage to sort it OP. Good for you for going somewhere else. They said on Twitter that the policy is to protect their (imaginary) brides. Protect them from what exactly? A lady in a cream LK Bennett dress?? Nutters!

welshnat Thu 06-Feb-14 19:13:22

Sadly there are such Bridezilla's about! I went to a friend's wedding who threw a massive strop when another bridal party turned up and ended up getting a massive discount from the hotel. Even though we were on the complete opposite side of the hotel.

CaptainHindsight Thu 06-Feb-14 19:15:05

Unbelievable xpost with you!

shock No bridezilla?

I hope you give them a pasting on trip advisor.
Cheeky twats.

ChocolateWombat Thu 06-Feb-14 19:17:23

Yes I think you should write to complain.
Don't complain about the policy itself, as the hotel is entitled to have the policy. Complain about your treatment. You were not advised of the policy when booking. Ask they would request other diners to leave if arriving in a similar dress. Ask if the policy applies when the hotel is not exclusively booked for a wedding, and if so why. Ask why it has been applied when there is not even a wedding booked. Point out that organising a wedding is stressful anyway and they have added to your stress. Say you are extremely disappointed that an hotel you considered a quality establishment should treat a booked guest like this. Ask for a response to your concerns.

I should think it is worth a free meal! If you don't get a satisfactory response, send them a link to this thread and point out that they have lost a lot of potential business.

Of course, you have a wedding to plan, so I don't blame you at all if you just walk away from it. It just makes me so cross I would like to send the letter!

happylass Thu 06-Feb-14 19:18:03

Looks like they've taken their Twitter page down. Think they may have been getting some grief from MNetters over dressgate!

Pimmsbear Thu 06-Feb-14 19:18:04

I live a few hundred metres from Rockliffe Hall, & can confirm it's lovely but rather got ideas above its station at times.
Weddings at Rockliffe cost tens of thousands of pounds and all the local great & good get married there (bit footballers' wives).

Although it is nice, there are loads of other equally lovely places in the area.
The Morritt hotel near Barnard Castle is gorgeous (so nice I got married there last year!)
The Bay Horse pub in Hurworth village is fab for a v posh pub meal.
Headlam hall near Darlington is beautiful
The George at Piercebridge has stunning views onto river & fab food.
There's loads of places, you're spoilt for choice!

Ps. Please don't anyone go too far & actually get Rockliffe closed down or anything, loads of my students work there!

Woah there, they don't even have a wedding on!!! Muppets, the lot of them!! They don't deserve your business.

And if they don't refund your deposit, we can all go ape shit on there asses until they are paying you to get us to stop!! #rockclifferuinedmyweddingday!

ChasedByBees Thu 06-Feb-14 19:19:30

I'd want to be somewhere where the knowledge of the nature of our visit was met with a "Ooh how lovely, we'll be sure to make it an extra special stay for you" rather than "Ok. We'll take your money. But at no point must you resemble a couple on your wedding day under any circumstances."

This. Exactly this. OP, they are being complete arses about this - this is meant to be your wedding night, they will totally ruin it by being in a haughty grump with you. They sound like total snobs from the tone of their email, no way would I go there still (I'll happily join MN in a boycott).

I've only read first 150 posts, I bet this is resolved and I'll get calls to RTFT won't I?

I nearly choked laughing at Bruno's penis crocheted wedding dress. I inhaled an oat cake. Ouch.

Pimmsbear Thu 06-Feb-14 19:20:06

Oops, just saw you got somewhere, the Tontine is lovely, you'll be well looked after there I'm sure

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 19:21:15

Just saw their twitter comment about the policy to 'protect' their brides.

Well, I bet you're all reassured to know that should you want to book a wedding you'll be 'protected' from another woman wearing a white dress. grin

ChasedByBees Thu 06-Feb-14 19:24:01

Ok, caught up. Have you heard if they'll refund you yet? They bloody well should since you were going to wear an elegant dress which wasn't even from a bridal collection. Arses.

KayleeFrye Thu 06-Feb-14 19:25:14

Delighted that you changed the booking. That's a fantastic dress and it's ridiculous that a hotel should presume to suggest that you shouldn't wear it or that you should run your choices past them. They did not deserve your custom. Have a brilliant day!

holidaysarenice Thu 06-Feb-14 19:25:47

It's because someone else has a contract saying only one wedding on the say at the hotel, and may have paid somewhere around 500 pounds for it to be there!

However I wud wear the dress, and shit it goes on trip advisor about how they ruined ur wedding.

Hulababy Thu 06-Feb-14 19:31:11

Notice their Twitter feed doesn't actually mention the fact that there wasn't even another bride or wedding booked in for that night - which is only 4 weeks away so chances are there wouldn't have been any issue anyway!

NoSquirrels Thu 06-Feb-14 19:31:13

OMG! I have never heard of the "one bride policy" and the final reveal that there wasn't even a wedding booked on that day in the first place... wow. The world's gone mad. Isn't it supposed to be the hospitality industry? Not very bloody hospitable!

mateysmum Thu 06-Feb-14 19:31:21

What a lovely dress. Ideal for a wedding but equally something that could be worn to any other celebration. Provided you don't come in covered in confetti bearing a wedding cake, I'm not sure the hotel have a leg to stand on.

happylass Thu 06-Feb-14 19:31:29

holidays there is no other wedding at the hotel on the same day! That's the irony of it!

working3jobs Thu 06-Feb-14 19:32:42

cancel the booking, get your friends to re book in their name and turn up wearing wearing your lovely outfit. and tell new husband to keep his mouth shut! (now that's awful advice to give a newly wed, sorry!)

working3jobs Thu 06-Feb-14 19:35:11

oops, didn't resd far enough, see you have changed venue.

have a wonderful day

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 19:35:40

Refund confirmed, and DP got an apologetic phonecall. Think we can all call off the wedding flash mob now.

BobaFetaCheese Thu 06-Feb-14 19:35:46

Do they protect the Grooms from other men wearing suits?

Glad you're not giving them any money.

PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 19:36:58


OddBoots Thu 06-Feb-14 19:41:40

I'm glad you found somewhere with more class and decorousness. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Thu 06-Feb-14 19:44:07

Gorgeous dress Op - just perfect for a low key wedding.

Glad all is sorted.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 06-Feb-14 19:46:05

I'd love to sit in on their staff meeting this week, when they justify their decision to each other and try to re-word their t&c to make sure no bride other than those who are getting married at the hotel, or those who will wear only primary colours and not be at all celebratory can be within the perimeter fence.

justmuddlingalong Thu 06-Feb-14 19:47:39

Ask if this is ok for the groom and his mates?

isisisis Thu 06-Feb-14 19:49:29

I can't get on their twitter. Have they shut it down due to the wrath of Mumsnet?

Pimpf Thu 06-Feb-14 19:55:00

Damn was looking forward to a mn bridal flash mob!

Glad it's all been sorted

MsAspreyDiamonds Thu 06-Feb-14 19:58:45

Get the matching detroit jacket in either blue or hot pink & wear it to dinner. Take it off when you arrive at hotel and I would be surprised if anybody would noticer attempt to frog march you out of the building for looking too bridal.

MsAspreyDiamonds Thu 06-Feb-14 20:00:07

Glad it is all sorted out now!

JennySense Thu 06-Feb-14 20:00:36

Twitter page still there - shall we tweet the "wedding dress" in question just in case any more brides are planning dinner there? ;)

JennySense Thu 06-Feb-14 20:00:56
BrownSauceSandwich Thu 06-Feb-14 20:01:33

That's a beautiful dress. The hotel is ostensibly mental. I'm not totally sure what ostensibly means.

You can still see their twitter feed on their Facebook page

Just say in' y'no

enriquetheringbearinglizard Thu 06-Feb-14 20:03:58

All's well then that ends well.

Congratulations OP on your forthcoming marriage, hope you have a wonderful wedding day in your lovely dress and a happy life together thanks

JennySense Thu 06-Feb-14 20:11:28 - just seen your replacement - very beautiful do you know which room you're staying in?

EauRouge Thu 06-Feb-14 20:14:36

I can still see them on Twitter and they are still defending themselves badly.

I wonder if they've seen this thread grin

Thanks to all of you lovely MNers I now have a comprehensive list of gorgeous places to stay to present to DH when he gets home tomorrow.

They are just tying themselves up in knots on Twitter!

Must be great to know you are a second class customer on any day there is a wedding on!!

WherewasHonahLee Thu 06-Feb-14 20:44:51

Happy Wedding Day OP. You'll look absolutely stunning. It's your and your DH2B's day. It'll be wonderful! Enjoy every minute.

<mutters to oneself about insane hotel>

expatinscotland Thu 06-Feb-14 20:48:05

Protect their brides. Who wants business from a bunch of bridezillas?

sillymillyb Thu 06-Feb-14 20:51:21

Oooh im all angry on your behalf! I have just reactivated my twitter account to tell them!

Your dress is beautiful, I hope you have a wonderful day at your new - and better - venue.

Stupid bloody hotel!!

newyearhere Thu 06-Feb-14 20:53:10

What exactly are they afraid of if one bride happens to spot another? They'll have better things to do than this

FrumiousBandersnatch Thu 06-Feb-14 20:55:57

...idly wonders how Hotelzilla would cope with a same-sex wedding...

expatinscotland Thu 06-Feb-14 21:01:41

What if you came there to dine and were deemed to be wearing something too bridal? If they want a one-bride policy, would it not make more sense to say it applies to those who book the entire hotel exclusively.

notundermyfoof Thu 06-Feb-14 21:07:54

Glad all is sorted now but what an idiotic policy!

Can someone please do a clickable link for the dress? flowers

LeBearPolar Thu 06-Feb-14 21:09:38

Love the twitter link! I don't have an account - but think all MNetters who do need to add their comments!

theborrower Thu 06-Feb-14 21:09:40

Not managed to read whole thread, but... That hotel is bonkers! Not even a wedding booked in? confused also had a look at their twitter, I feel a wee tweet coming on too. Let's give them something to talk about at their next staff meeting...

Congratulations OP, hope you have a wonderful wedding day smile

Jakadaal Thu 06-Feb-14 21:14:27

How about Seaham Hall which is every bit as good as Rockcliffe or Headlam Hall spa not as nice but smaller than Rockcliffe and more intimate. I seriously wouldn't give RH my money

Jakadaal Thu 06-Feb-14 21:16:48

Oops too late - The Tontine is lovely. Have a wonderful day ��

RedToothBrush Thu 06-Feb-14 21:18:51

Its not an obvious wedding dress. If there was another bride there she probably wouldn't even realise.

Fuck the policy. Wear what you want.

What are the hotel going to do? Kick you out and make a scene in front of the other bride? I think not.

cowsarescary Thu 06-Feb-14 21:25:41

Get your husband to wear it. bet they daren't have a policy on that.

I'm going for a weekend there later this year (family party) and staying the Saturday night before - if I eat nothing until then I might fit into my wedding dress!

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Thu 06-Feb-14 21:40:43

Get everyone to turn up in white. They are being twattish. I'm sure your small intimate party will not put off anyone else having a big do. Find another place.

Mellowandfruitful Thu 06-Feb-14 21:44:52

There might well have been another bride or person dressed in white at my wedding reception venue. I honestly didn't notice as I was busy enjoying myself. As someone said back on page 1, it's a sad reflection on human nature to think that one person's joy could be thought to ruin the joy of someone else who just happens to be in the same place. So glad you have now resolved it and found a better venue for you. Have a wonderful wedding.

Pimpf Thu 06-Feb-14 21:52:30

Have added a tweet, ridiculous policy, and I wonder if those supportive ones are from employees or friends of the hotel

Caitlin17 Thu 06-Feb-14 22:09:27 Cream

In case any else couldn't get link to work I'm assuming this is the dress.

It's beautiful but it's not a wedding dress.
Have a great day OP.

Caitlin17 Thu 06-Feb-14 22:10:56
Littleen Thu 06-Feb-14 22:20:36

That's a nonsense rule really. Could you put a coat on, I know that's not really what you should do, but if you don't want the trouble, it could be an option. Good luck!

BOFtastic Thu 06-Feb-14 22:24:19

OP we had our meal at judges which was lovely. Crathorne hall also nice. Headlam Hall in Darlington meant to be good - we looked round there.

Get everypne to turn up in white? It will be like some sort of cult!

Not sure if Whitworth Hall does evening meals but I love it there, fancy feeding the deer and ducks in your wedding dress? grin

mellicauli Thu 06-Feb-14 22:58:15

This sucks big time! And was your partner allowed to wear a suit like the groom? course he can! Sounds like sex discrimination to me!

DinoSnores Thu 06-Feb-14 22:58:21

BOF - you'll need to Tweet @RockliffeHall (you've spelt it wrong and I would hate for them to miss your very important question!)

BOFtastic Thu 06-Feb-14 23:06:09


BOFtastic Thu 06-Feb-14 23:10:58
bisjo Thu 06-Feb-14 23:13:32

Love the photo you tweeted BOF. Very funny.

superram Thu 06-Feb-14 23:23:56

Go to seaham hall

I live very near rocklife and have a wedding dress in a box on top of the wardrobe if needed

BobaFetaCheese Thu 06-Feb-14 23:35:43

I can see this making the Mail website, like so much of mn does!

isisisis Thu 06-Feb-14 23:43:53

Thanks for twitter link. Our good friend Chris Naylors 'skills' on linked in are listed as hotels & online marketing. Handy he just happened to stumble across a few twitter comments from Mumsnetters & casually step in to support the hotel grin

Fantail Fri 07-Feb-14 00:07:28

Beautiful dress, you will look stunning, especially if you accessorize with an I-pad case rather than bouquet of flowers as suggested.

What would they do if they hosted a wedding between two males who wanted to wear suits...

I can understand a policy of only hosting one wedding per day, but surely having 4 additional covers in your restaurant and one room booking is good business.

legoplayingmumsunite Fri 07-Feb-14 00:35:05

Was just about to post to say what a beautiful and elegant dress then saw it was Rockliffe Hall that were being twunts. Since I live nearby I am tempted to wear a white dress next time I go there (I might even get my very obviously wedding dress out of its box in the attic). What an over the top decision, especially since your dress is not a wedding gown. If a mother of the bride or maid of honour turned up in that outfit would they tell her to leave? Maybe that would be allowed?

iloveny001 Fri 07-Feb-14 01:32:41

Can't get their twitter yo work, bugger

Preciousbane Fri 07-Feb-14 08:57:32

Mil wore a cream chiffon dress and hat to my wedding .Being the kind of not notice person I am at the time I didn't think much of it but a more bridal outfit you could not get.

I had a look at Rockliffe tweet thing and only comments from the hotel so guessing they have removed anything from mnetters.

sillymillyb Fri 07-Feb-14 08:59:33

Ooh that's odd, I can still see the twitter comments from us all - have you expanded? I'm crap at twitter so god knows if what I'm telling you is correct smile

GhostsInSnow Fri 07-Feb-14 09:06:26

whoever tweeted them and asked about the 2 bride policy and Lesbian weddings flowers

PrebendsBridge Fri 07-Feb-14 09:17:23

Just seen the twitter activity from last night grin...loved the husband in the white 'not-wedding' dress pic. we've all established my dress is not bridal, guess I'm quite okay to wear it to a wedding of DP's friend in June! That is if the lovely penis dress isn't available instead wink

Quinteszilla Fri 07-Feb-14 09:45:02

Umm, not sure it is the done thing to wear white to somebody elses wedding?

Pimpf Fri 07-Feb-14 09:59:32

Haha, I wouldn't if I were you. One thing to wear it at your wedding or a special night out but not to another wedding!

PrebendsBridge Fri 07-Feb-14 10:10:28

I was, of course, joking about the possibility of wearing it to friend's wedding.

Maybe the huge red velvet number suggested up-thread instead?!wink

KatnipEvergreen Fri 07-Feb-14 10:50:52

My friend was getting ready for her wedding in a hotel, not getting married there but in another venue. They wouldn't let her out of the hotel as another wedding party had arrived and were having photos, so it made her 45 minutes late for her own wedding.

Also it meant I missed the entire ceremony, as my carefully planned timing with feeds and sleeps with tiny DD1 went out (she was literally asleep until my friend finally arrived then woke up needing comforting and another feed and I had to take her out). Glad it was all sorted, OP!

I don't think in this case I'd have taken the trouble to tell them what I'm wearing. I'd have said "No, I'm not wearing an actual wedding dress." and have left it at that.

EmmaBemma Fri 07-Feb-14 10:55:48

This is bullshit! Sorry OP. What a stupid policy.

Cerisier Fri 07-Feb-14 11:07:58

I am glad you got a full refund, at least they did that. Terrible publicity for the hotel, they should hang their heads in shame.

Quinteszilla Fri 07-Feb-14 11:33:00

Ok, so Hotels and Estate agents are the scum of the earth.


TheListingAttic Fri 07-Feb-14 11:56:22

I'd be cancelling and rebooking elsewhere - and telling them exactly why. It's a ridiculous policy, and that beautiful dress doesn't look remotely meringuey!

winterhat Fri 07-Feb-14 12:26:58

Looks like they've closed their Twitter page for now... wonder why! grin

TheRealAmandaClarke Fri 07-Feb-14 12:38:58

Your dress is lovely. And your plans sound lovely too.
They should have made you aware of their policy when booking.
But it's not uncommon for hotels to offer this exclusivity to wedding parties and although your event is subtle and small scale it is indeed, still your wedding reception.
So, no. YANBU to be upset, especially as you found out after you booked it.
But YAbu to expect them to make an exception for you on the grounds that your dress/ reception is smaller scale/ more tasteful/ less traditional than another might be.
Good luck with finding somewhere perfect.

Can still see twitter page. Are you spelling it right (I didn't last night) @rockliffehall

DreamingAlice Fri 07-Feb-14 12:43:52

I just sent them a tweet, and it works.

OP, your dress is so beautiful and classy. I wish you the happiest of wedding days!

winterhat Fri 07-Feb-14 12:49:30

Very strange - even when I refresh the Twitter page it says

"Sorry, that page doesn’t exist!

Thanks for noticing—we're going to fix it up and have things back to normal soon."

winterhat Fri 07-Feb-14 12:50:43

Ah, just ignore me, my link is all wrong blush

poorbuthappy Fri 07-Feb-14 12:58:49

At the end of the day if the hotel has as 1 bride rule then they should not be taking bookings for the restaurant - it should be exclusive use.

NoelMamereGaelMonfils Fri 07-Feb-14 12:59:08

I'm getting married this summer and I might well get the same dress, it's gorgeous! You don't mind do you OP? grin

onetiredmummy Fri 07-Feb-14 12:59:27

I accessed their Twitter account via their FB page, first 2 are about their bridal policy smile

Harry2007 Fri 07-Feb-14 13:11:38

Just tweeted this @Calonogi: @RockliffeHall banning cream-shift-dress-wearing bride for post wedding dinner to protect 'one bride policy'...she was the only bride! Poor!

Prebends I have actually just written to Rockliffe to complain after a friend abd I were treated appallingly at a spa day last weekend.

Can I recommend Headlam Hall or The Morritt Arms? Both lovely and have staff who can't do enough for you.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Fri 07-Feb-14 14:20:09

Oh RH is near us. dH has been on about going to their restaurant for ages. They can now fuck the fuck off with their attitude. Or we can both turn up in white.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Fri 07-Feb-14 14:39:40

Your dress is beautiful OP, I hope you have a fabulous wedding and I'm glad you have a great alternative. Congratulations.

TheRealAmandaClarke Fri 07-Feb-14 15:54:16

You found somewhere. That's great. Well done and have a fabulous day.

legoplayingmumsunite Fri 07-Feb-14 20:14:50

At the end of the day if the hotel has as 1 bride rule then they should not be taking bookings for the restaurant - it should be exclusive use.

They have 3 restaurants so it is quite possible that one is being used for a wedding and the other 2 are for public use. But anyway, THERE IS NO OTHER BRIDE so they are just being arses. So sad because the food is fantastic there, DH took me to the Orangerie for my 40th and we had the tasting menu. Bliss.

SweepTheHalls Fri 07-Feb-14 20:23:28

Have a wonderful day in a wonderful dress smile

tb Sat 08-Feb-14 13:40:44

Glad you've got something better sorted.

I had a look at the site, and their menu descriptions are really pretentious.

twopeasinapod Sat 08-Feb-14 14:00:05

Please to see that you have rebooked as that is what I was going to suggest. Your dress is lovely and v elegant.

Have a wonderful day.

Utterbollocks Sat 08-Feb-14 15:21:03

It's a cream dress. Not ostensibly bridal.
Although beautiful, anyone could rock up to dinner wearing it & if they threw them out they could probably take them to court over it.
Tell them you are wearing your going away outfit. If they don't like it, take your business elsewhere, where they will value your custom.
Fwiw I wouldn't have noticed what anyone was wearing in the restaurant of the place where I got married, let alone care!

LaGuardia Sat 08-Feb-14 17:30:25

Do you really want to see another bride enjoying her fabulous wedding when you can only afford a budget one? You need to go somewhere else and thank the hotel for the warning.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Sat 08-Feb-14 17:33:17

But there isn't actually another bride, LaGuardia. And the chances that the hotel is going to sell their full wedding package for a Friday night in March with less than a month to go are slim, I'd have thought.

Ledkr Sat 08-Feb-14 17:40:00

What bollocks la guardia are you saying that anyone who decides not to waste spend thousands on one day is jealous of those who do?