to think this was a little rude.

(63 Posts)
coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:47:01

A friend posted on facebook that she had just completed her tax return.other friends posted the usual. Yeah sell done or I've done mine too etc. Her dp posted something like " I don't know why people don't complete threm in April. Doing it now means extra work for me at this time of the year". I felt this was a little rude and unsupportive. Friend has 4 young dc and runs a small business part time with no regular childcare. Aibu

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:47:27

Well done

pictish Fri 31-Jan-14 09:48:05

A bit yeah. He's allowed to say that - it's his opinion. It wasn't delivered aggressively...just matter of factly.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:48:38

Should have said he is an accountant but doesn't do tax 4etu4s for small businesses directly.

But it has to be done by 31st January.
So why do it in April?
I'm confused?

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:49:58

Tablet playing games today.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:50:51

He meant do it last april and not leave it till the past minute.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:51:26

Last not past. Grr

pictish Fri 31-Jan-14 09:52:04

He's right, if not particularly realistic, because most people do leave it till the last minute.
What's wrong with saying that?

DirtieBertie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:52:47

Personally, I think it's a bit daft to leave it until the last couple of days when you have nearly nine months to fill it in. Apart from anything else, if you realise that you have a query about something, you are going to have no chance of getting through on HMRC's helpline.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:54:58

Just felt he was being critical of her and her friends who all run small businesses around family commitments. (Well my friends too)

WilsonFrickett Fri 31-Jan-14 09:58:40

He's right! All accountants would say the same thing too - I'm sure my invoice last year said something like 'why not come back and show off your holiday tan - do your return in August' which I quite liked.

And as pp have said, if anything goes wrong with the system or you need advice, you're fecked if you leave it till the last minute. You then get fined £100 a day.

They didn't do their tax at the last minute because they had family commitments, they did it because it's a horrible job that no-one likes doing till the last possible minute.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 09:59:04

It is true that in an ideal world you would do it but my friend has 12 month old who still wakes lots at night. So I think she has had it on the go for the last month or so.

DaffodilShoots Fri 31-Jan-14 09:59:32

It's true but no-one likes a know-it-all!

Preciousbane Fri 31-Jan-14 10:00:04

I get where he is coming from. It will always take time regardless of which month so why wait and risk a fine.

Only1scoop Fri 31-Jan-14 10:00:12

Not rude really no....

PublicEnemyNumeroUno Fri 31-Jan-14 10:03:59

Not rude at all.

If he'd said 'oh FFS why do you have to leave it til last minute you lazy cunts' then that would be rude

Joysmum Fri 31-Jan-14 10:04:25

He's completely right. People dong have to agree with their partners all the time as as it's his job he's going to be especially fed up with it.

I do mine in batches of 2! I grab all of my stuff to submit it by end of Jan and then start on the next one ready for in a few weeks when the next one can be submitted.

In theory I ought to be organised and it ought to be a doddle, I also ought to have had time way before to do it but I don't tend to think about it so don't do it.

I'll make more of an effort in future because he's right.

Joysmum Fri 31-Jan-14 10:05:17

Dong! grin = don't.

Purplepoodle Fri 31-Jan-14 10:06:35

But he is right

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 10:08:41

I think that he did say something like get organised. Which is true I guess.

Lizzabadger Fri 31-Jan-14 10:10:28

Not rude

InternetFOREVER Fri 31-Jan-14 10:12:28

Can anyone tell me, if you do complete it say in April, do you get until January 31st to pay, or do you have to pay straight away?

WorraLiberty Fri 31-Jan-14 10:12:47

I can't see anything rude about it either.

pictish Fri 31-Jan-14 10:15:45

Can people not handle even the slightest bit of constructive criticism these days without taking offence?

He wasn't rude, and frankly, a baby getting up at night is not a valid excuse. It's procastination pure and simple. I'm sure she managed to fit in lots of other things in the last nine months!

Don't get me wrong here...I am a procastinator extrodinaire, but I don't expect to be patted on the back for it, much less get upset when someone matter of factly observes it.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 31-Jan-14 10:16:36

It's not rude. No name-calling or personal attack, just a little gripe. Seems fair to me.

fab84 Fri 31-Jan-14 10:17:02

I get where your friend is coming from. Doing any sort of admin with young children is hard. I too struggle to get mine done. I usually get it done by December.
As I have a partner who overposts onFacebook I do get what you mean.
I guess I just feel that if you can't say something positive than don't say it. Of course he is right that it is best not to leave it to the last minute though.

CoffeeTea103 Fri 31-Jan-14 10:17:17

No it's not rude. Not even sure why you would post about this. To achieve what?

DomesticDisgrace Fri 31-Jan-14 10:17:56

I don't think that's rude at all!!

HaroldLloyd Fri 31-Jan-14 10:18:38

Not rude and confused about how it's a slight on people with small businesses & children? I'd take it as exasperated accountant type humour.

pictish Fri 31-Jan-14 10:23:45

I guess I just feel that if you can't say something positive than don't say it.
Why? Are we all such delicate flowers that our petals will wilt at the first hint of someone not thinking we are wonderful?

He's an accountant, and has his own take on this...and guess what? He is allowed to be annoyed that his workload increases through the inaction of others! He doesn't actually have to hide that fact does he, lest the snowdrop droop?

Come on!

Songofsixpence Fri 31-Jan-14 10:23:53

He's right though

I'm guilty of leaving it until the last minute too, I'm the biggest procrastinator ever and if I'm given a deadline, I'll put it off and put it off until the deadline is imminent

I keep my books up to date every week and I know there won't be any surprises, so I should be able to get the tax return in early, it just never seems to happen though - although I got mine in before Christmas this year, which is unheard of for me

Wabbitty Fri 31-Jan-14 10:25:03

InternetFOREVER you will still have until January to pay no matter when you submit it

DaffodilShoots Fri 31-Jan-14 10:31:09

Isn't it a bit undermining of a person's partner to post this on a public site? It's not going to contribute to family harmony is it?

InternetFOREVER Fri 31-Jan-14 10:31:27

OK, in that case his FB post was really good advice :-)

pictish Fri 31-Jan-14 10:32:17

Not particularly. He has probably said it to her already.
As an accountant, it will be his point of view, and I think that's ok.

DaffodilShoots Fri 31-Jan-14 10:36:32

He sounds like an accountancy bore then! I'm determined not to approve of him as I'm a terrible procrastinatorwink.

fab84 Fri 31-Jan-14 10:50:03

Maybe rather than winge about it he could maybe offer to take children out for an hour so she can get it done. Or as he is an accountant maybe he could help her. I guess you won't know op if he does this.

DaffodilShoots Fri 31-Jan-14 10:54:37

hear, hear fab84.

WorraLiberty Fri 31-Jan-14 10:58:41

I don't think they're his kids?

I understood it that the accountant was the DP of the woman who said 'well done'.

I might be confused though blush

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 11:11:28

Hi. Sorry they are his kids. They have been together for ages but never got married. I think she has been doing tax return and other admin when baby naps or on Sundays when he is around. He is out most Saturdays. Business done on the golf corse you knowdaft thing is in the early days baby had horrendous colic. So doing a tax return would have been the last thing on her mind.

WorraLiberty Fri 31-Jan-14 11:15:09

Well I don't understand why he doesn't look after the kids then and give her a couple of hours to do it.

Unless he does and she still left it to the last minute.

I guess that's the thing with couples talking of FB, you don't know the ins and out of it.

austenozzy Fri 31-Jan-14 11:15:37

Of course it's not rude, it's perfectly reasonable and sensible. I procrastinated (again) and had to miss out on enjoying a weekend day with my wife and daughter because I had to pull my finger out and get a load of admin shite over to my accountant. So it actually makes things harder, childcare-wise, to leave it until the last minute and spend non-work time sorting out the mess.

Not sure I have massive sympathy for the accountants, though. Never met a poor one yet... ;-)

WorraLiberty Fri 31-Jan-14 11:15:45

But with regards to the tax return being the last thing on her mind, if she wants to run a business then it really shouldn't be.

DaffodilShoots Fri 31-Jan-14 11:16:25

I don't like him.

WooWooOwl Fri 31-Jan-14 11:17:44

I think you are reading too much in to that comment, possibly because you seem to disapprove of the way this man and his wife choose to run their family.

It just reads to me like a harmless comment from an accountant who would prefer work to be spread out over the year rather than have loads come in in January.

Stripedgingercat Fri 31-Jan-14 11:18:18

He is right - I think he was just factual

pictish Fri 31-Jan-14 11:18:57

Maybe rather than winge about it he could maybe offer to take children out for an hour so she can get it done. Or as he is an accountant maybe he could help her. I guess you won't know op if he does this.

Oh I like that - not only should he not have an opinion about it, but with a little tweaking, now we can speculate that her not doing it is, actually his fault!


MrsOakenshield Fri 31-Jan-14 11:21:42

don't see the point of him saying it - we all have times when it's busier at work and yes I'm sure we'd all love it if the work was spread out more evenly, but that's how it is. This year will be no different to any other year. If he doesn't like it maybe it's not the job for him.

I always do mine last minute (I don't actually earn enough to pay tax and it's very straightforward) and after reading this I shall make an effort to carry on doing so in future.

What a knob he sounds.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 11:21:59

She was on maternity leave in april.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Fri 31-Jan-14 11:22:44

If she hasnt had time then she wouldnt have had time to do it yesterday. She did have time, she just chose to do other things with that time until she couldnt put it off any longer. She could have found the same time in april or august or november.

WorraLiberty Fri 31-Jan-14 11:28:12

Perhaps she should spend less time on Facebook grin

I don't really see it as any different to my kids putting a month's load of dirty clothes in the washing basket...and me saying I wish they'd done it sooner to keep the workload down.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 11:29:22

Obviously I too can only speculate but I get the impression that he is not very hands on when home. Dd who is 1 is very high maintenance. Whenever I txt her she is normally doing bathtime or some other childcare related task. I think he doesn't get home till 8 most nights.

Topaz25 Fri 31-Jan-14 11:41:40

I thought that reply would be tactless from an acquaintance but it's worse from her DP! If he really felt that was something they needed to discuss he should have done it in private, not on Facebook! Yes she put it off but she was probably really relieved to have got it done within the deadline and didn't need that negativity. It comes across as if he thinks his job is much more demanding and important and underestimates the demands of running a small business and looking after children.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Fri 31-Jan-14 11:50:26

Is it at all possible he was having a playful tongue in cheek joke and she took it in the way it was intended? I know some couples on my fb have what looks to be 'digs' at each other but knowing them in real life gives context to it and you can see exactly which way a comment would be meant and taken.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 12:40:19

She does facebook mainly for business purposes. Don't think she is the type of person to joke online. Her posts are rare.
Maybe he meant it tongue in cheek.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 12:45:10

You know he does think his job is far more important and yes in terms of paid work it is. When she had 2 dc she was thinking of going back to work doing nights full time. She told me he wasn't keen as she might not be home in time for him to get to work. I do think, however he doesn't get that lokking after 4 dc single handed (sometimes 6 days a wek) and trying to run a business is tough too.

If he's an accountant then he has probably been working flat out for the last few weeks trying to convince his clients to give him all the info he needs to complete their tax returns.

Was your friend upset by his comment? If not, then I suggest you leave them to manage their relationship in their own way.

coolcookie Fri 31-Jan-14 15:19:10

He doesn't. Have clients. If he did I could understand it more.

Musicaltheatremum Fri 31-Jan-14 16:38:17

Our year end is 31st March. We try to get everything into our accountants by early July.(some payments that come in July are for the previous year) by September we know what our tax bills are going to be. You still don't have to pay your tax earlier if you get it in early.

Eskimoo Fri 31-Jan-14 16:40:39

What a fascinating world facebook is...... I really must get with the programme...... YABU btw.

SlightlyTerrified Fri 31-Jan-14 18:12:47

TBF he is quite right, lots of people leave it till the last minute. My DH has his own business and ends up working all night sorting people's tax returns and accounts at the last minute. This happened over xmas when some clients had 31/12 deadlines for accounts and he was working every night till late. There is really no reason to leave it till the last minute when you have 9 months to do it.

HOWEVER I think it is daft that people get so involved in stuff on FB, DH would never comment about something like that publically even though he thinks it.

Pimpf Fri 31-Jan-14 18:17:14

Not rude at all. I can't understand why it's left to the last minute. Have a friend who just done hers today, I suggested she start sorting out her books for next year now but know she won't, she'll panic again next jan!

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