Saying "ta" instead of "thank you"

(193 Posts)
saffstel Wed 29-Jan-14 17:59:27

Dd2 (10 months) is staring nursery in a couple of weeks. We did an intro hour yesterday.

Her key worker (who was also dd1's key worker) says 'ta' to the children when she hands them toys, food, etc.

This is a pet hate of mine and it annoyed me when she did it with DD1.

Wibu of me to ask her to say "thank you" instead of "ta"? The discussion sounds really petty when I have it in my head, but I really, really hate "ta".

MardyBra Wed 29-Jan-14 18:01:44

Just run with it. The key worker will think you're a loon and your DD will learn how to say thank you eventually.

TheGirlFromIpanema Wed 29-Jan-14 18:02:08

I think in a nursery setting it is probably petty tbh.

What if each set of parents gave in their language bug-bears? It would become a nightmare very quickly.

I'd decide if I was happy with the nursery, or not.

WorraLiberty Wed 29-Jan-14 18:02:17

I can understand you might hate it but yes, it does sound petty.

I don't really think you can police nursery staff that way.

IHadATinyTurtle Wed 29-Jan-14 18:03:09

Just say 'oh I've heard staff saying ta a few times, we've been using thank you instead of ta at home, would it be possible to do that here with DD so it doesn't get confusing for her?'

CrazyOldCatLady Wed 29-Jan-14 18:05:10

Lots of parents would say 'ta ta' to their kids so there's no one solution that will suit everyone. And kids all end up with their own take on it anyway - DS says 'tatu'.

YABU.

Shente Wed 29-Jan-14 18:05:11

I was dead against ta but it's what my dd (15 mo) says even though both cm and I only ever say thank you to her. It's just easier for her to say and I'd much rather she said ta than snatched and said nothing! So yes I think you're being a bit petty.

SingingGerbil Wed 29-Jan-14 18:05:46

Hate, hate, hate this. Particularly when adults do it. My DP does it sometimes and it makes me cringe.

marmitecat Wed 29-Jan-14 18:07:02

I was all ready to join the thread about how much the word ta is generally rage worthy and offensive but tbh if it's nursery staff I would let it go. Your dc will learn more from the way you speak in the end. And you will come across as a loon if you complain.

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Wed 29-Jan-14 18:09:19

It wouldn't bother me. It means exactly the same thing. My 4 year old says cheers

KatnipEvergreen Wed 29-Jan-14 18:10:00

The snobbery about "ta" on here astounds me, I've never come across it in real life. It's perfectly acceptable Northern English dialect, and much easier to say for a baby or toddler. Mine used to say it, as I said it to them naturally. When they were 2/3 they started to say thank you instead. It really doesn't matter. Or will saying ta make them fail the prep school nursery test? FFS hmm

pixwix Wed 29-Jan-14 18:11:34

When my children were 9-10 months old - I'd hand them a biscuit and say "Ta?" they'd intone "Ta!" in response - they couldn't formulate 'Thank-you' but for them communicating 'Ta' was great! - it was the context etc. It came to symbolise request, Thank-you, and the whole thing around giving.

As they got older, we switched to 'Thank-you' ('Fank-oo!') For me, with such little ones, it was getting them to use language to express their needs - as they got older I made subtle changes, and they adapted accordingly.

Ds1 is now 16 and has an A* in English - guess he isn't too scarred.

CustardOmlet Wed 29-Jan-14 18:15:06

Not petty, I hate the word 'ta' with vengeance! I think I might hate it so much that if my DS started saying ta I would move nurseries!!!

nickymanchester Wed 29-Jan-14 18:16:15

Why the snobbery about 'ta'?

Totally agree with Katnip and pixwix

headlesslambrini Wed 29-Jan-14 18:17:26

I think most start off with 'ta' rather than 'thank you' at that stage. Most children will learn language by copying what they hear, comprehension comes later. It's just one way of encouraging a set sound response to an action.

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Wed 29-Jan-14 18:17:48

Just thinking and even I say ta

2beornot Wed 29-Jan-14 18:18:03

What on earth is wrong with ta FFS? It teaches some politeness/social rules even though thank you is too hard to say.

natwebb79 Wed 29-Jan-14 18:18:30

I really don't get the big problem with this. I have never met an older child who doesn't know 'thank you' because people said 'ta' when they were little. grin

meganorks Wed 29-Jan-14 18:19:32

YABU. Yes it sounds petty. And snobby. And I wouldn't expect the nursery to accommodate silly whims of you and all the other parents. If I was working there I think it might make me what to say it even more!

everlong Wed 29-Jan-14 18:19:36

Dislike ta.

Always tried to get them to say ' fank you '

pancakesfortea Wed 29-Jan-14 18:20:37

I generally dislike using baby language with small kids. But for me, Ta isn't baby language, it's part of usual speech. I say it all the time, both at home and at work - and I work in quite a formal, old fashioned environment.

ceeveebee Wed 29-Jan-14 18:20:51

We said "ta" at first and then switched to "thank you" when DCs were a bit older ( 18 months maybe) and they got it straight away. Personally I wouldn't say anything

goblindancer Wed 29-Jan-14 18:21:28

I hate it too and they do say it in dd's nursery but I would never say anything to them because I think they would think I'm a loon! "Ta" just really grinds on me though! I do correct other people sometimes!

saffstel Wed 29-Jan-14 18:21:57

I just don't like it. The phrase is "thank you". Not "ta".
I can't think of many other words which are changed for children (maybe doggie?) like this and I don't understand why it is.

But it is different if it's local lingo, I agree. I live in the south.

DawnOfTheDee Wed 29-Jan-14 18:22:56

Everyone here says ta....i thought it was just another way of saying thank you? What's the problem with it....? confused

everlong Wed 29-Jan-14 18:23:28

Let's face it it's a bit common.

There I said it.

OP just carry on saying thank you and your will catch on with it.

SwedishEdith Wed 29-Jan-14 18:23:30

I wouldn't say anything, no. I don't like it when someone makes a point of saying "ta" to children, very deliberately. But, I use "ta" all the time in my own speech so I'd be a huge hypocrite to criticise someone else for it.

UptheChimney Wed 29-Jan-14 18:25:49

I lost the battle on saying 'lavatory' instead of 'toilet' years ago. You're on a hiding to nothing. I still wince when DS says 'toilet' but oh well ...

pinkgirlythoughts Wed 29-Jan-14 18:28:43

DS has always said thank you, despite nursery staff and inlaws' best attempts to get him to say ta! Really gets my goat when FIL hands him something and goes 'taaaaaa' before he'll give it to him- DS just gives him a bit of an odd look, then says 'thank-ooo' and walks off!

pinkgirlythoughts Wed 29-Jan-14 18:29:33

What SwedishEdith said. That's why I don't like it!

Crowler Wed 29-Jan-14 18:30:49

I hate it, and don't understand it.

But I'm not English.

estya Wed 29-Jan-14 18:31:01

If it's your regional dialect, fine. But here in the South East it's baby talk, like referring to your child as bubba and it makes my spine crawl.
16mo says tata when he is trying to pronounce thank you. I don't feel the need to start repeating tata to him.

SwedishEdith Wed 29-Jan-14 18:31:06

I don't think I've ever met a RL person who actually says lavatory grin.

Yes, yes, yes, it's that "taaaaaaaa" before handing over the goods I don't like.

SingSongSlummy Wed 29-Jan-14 18:31:42

Don't worry too much - my DD's nursery and childminder did this to and I hated it, but mine never said 'ta' they just started off with 'ank-ooo' and progressed from there. I suspect it's a regional thing but it's definitely considered common down south, and I can't believe a previous poster said that they use it at work! IMO an adult using it to another adult is really cringeworthy.

KatnipEvergreen Wed 29-Jan-14 18:32:28

I felt ok in teaching my kids "ta" when they were little, because I'm secure in my social status and never fear being thought of as common, as I know I'm not.

Plus the fact where I grew up it was perfectly normal and not "common".

KatnipEvergreen Wed 29-Jan-14 18:34:02

I think I'm going to start using it down south to adults to piss off the southern softies.

WitchWay Wed 29-Jan-14 18:36:20

I always used the proper adult pronunciation when talking to DS. he said Ta-tu then Tank-oo then Thank-oo & finally Thank You by the age of about three. Hate baby talk - bloody hate it!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Wed 29-Jan-14 18:36:24

Ta was totally normal where I grew up (W. Yorks), even to a teacher or at work. I still say it now even though live down south. My DCs both started with ta but moved onto thank you as speech improved.

I really wouldn't worry about it being used by nursery. At my DC's nursery they would say "He done this, she done that" rather than "did". I was worried the DCs would pick it up but they really haven't, I guess because DH and I don't say it.

tyaca Wed 29-Jan-14 18:37:47

i'm not common and I've always lived in the South East.

I have never ever thought of Ta as baby speak. It's just like cheers, innit.

Mmm. I'm in the South East, still hear plenty of people saying 'ta'. Maybe we're all 'common'. But even if that's so, does it really matter?

It could be much worse. Someone on here a while ago admitted to having a toddler who pronounced it 'wanker'.

(Actually, I lie, I would love a toddler who responded 'wanker' all the time, but I have a childish sense of humour.)

DaPrincessBride Wed 29-Jan-14 18:41:06

My friend used to encourage 'thank you' with her baby DD - she switched to 'ta' pretty quickly when she realised it came out as 'fuck you'...

grin

olympicsrock Wed 29-Jan-14 18:41:50

Don't say anything or you will be known as the snotty mother. I dislike ta but at least they are trying to teach manners. Our key worker said ta, we say thank you and DS 2 also says thank you. They will copy you.

HappyTalking Wed 29-Jan-14 18:42:12

Everyone in my house says 'ta'. Maybe we are a bit very common.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Wed 29-Jan-14 18:42:30

DaPrincess - I think you may have hit upon the reason why people use ta to babies!

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Wed 29-Jan-14 18:43:24

I'm common as shit and it isn't because I say ta grin

LEMmingaround Wed 29-Jan-14 18:43:33

The discussion that you are having in your head - listen to it, its petty! I live in the south too. I say thank-you, not ta, my DD says thank-you , not ta, but she did was she was 3. I bet you want everyone to say vagine as well don't you?

grin That's even better princess.

LEMmingaround Wed 29-Jan-14 18:45:02

So please don't talk to your DS's key worker - she will think you are a wanker, she really will.

PrimalLass Wed 29-Jan-14 18:47:01

Oh jeezy peeps, something else I do that annoys people hmm

lilyaldrin Wed 29-Jan-14 18:48:50

Oh don't be so ridiculous!

I hope you do mention it to the nursery actually, it will give them a good laugh in the staff room and let them know exactly what kind of parent you are grin

Bowlersarm Wed 29-Jan-14 18:49:43

This is going to be one of those things that divides MNers and will spiral into a bunfight grin

YANBU to hate 'ta'. I can't bear it. It sounds so tacky.

However I don't think you should say anything. I don't think you should cause her embarrassment about it. It's only one person. It'll pass.

LondonBus Wed 29-Jan-14 18:50:04

I think when you send Dc to nursery /school you just have to let some things go. Ta would make me cringe, but so does saying "pardon?" And I would never have dared say anything to DD's teacher about it- although I regularly had to ask DD not to say it at home.

Nursery staff will not always do things exactly as you would, but hey.

CoffeeTea103 Wed 29-Jan-14 18:50:09

Oh ffs! Do you have nothing else to worry about?

vickibee Wed 29-Jan-14 18:51:21

Up in Yorkshire it is used by adults as an everyday thanks didn't realise you could get yourself in such a pickle over it.

Nanny0gg Wed 29-Jan-14 18:53:05

I really don't get the big problem with this. I have never met an older child who doesn't know 'thank you' because people said 'ta' when they were little.

This^^

You know, not everything that was done in the 'old days' was wrong.
Simplifying speech and using baby talk was done for a reason. It made communication with the child so much easier. It was echoing their speech, the sounds were simple and therefore developed a relationship, a conversation.
I believe there is now research to say that it is actually a good idea.

And once a child is older and can speak 'properly' they can manage Thank You quite easily.

Those of us who grew up in the time of Baby Talk are quite articulate now...

SparklyMonkeyMummy Wed 29-Jan-14 18:53:45

lol I must be really common as well. I'm from the SE and say ta all the time. Used to live up north for uni so may have picked it up there! I do get weird looks when I say it down here hmm grin

sebsmummy1 Wed 29-Jan-14 18:54:20

I hate it and won't be teaching it to my son, however in a nursery setting is just go with it.

Southeastdweller Wed 29-Jan-14 18:54:28

Hate it, always have done. Used it a few times when I was growing up to try to fit into my peers but it always sounded and felt weird and so I dropped it. It's much more of a northern and midland thing, isn't it? I hardly ever hear it in London.

I wouldn't say anything to her, though.

To all the adults who use Ta, do you pronounce it 'ta' or 'tar'?

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Wed 29-Jan-14 18:57:45

Pronounced as tar which is how children say it too. Didn't think there was another pronunciation

FastWindow Wed 29-Jan-14 18:59:21

Each to their own, and as someone else said, they will copy you ultimately.

I can't use ta, as it means 'take' in scandi. So it would make no sense if they say it back!!

If it was a family member you'd be within your rights to ask them not to say ta. But don't be that Mum at preschool.

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 29-Jan-14 18:59:32

I've said this before I am sure, but "ta" is just a shortening of the Norwegian "tak" and is used in the North probably as a hangover from when we was all Vikings round these parts. It's not baby talk!

<shuffles back to the cunning linguist topic...>

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 29-Jan-14 19:00:13

Or is it "tuk" in Norwegian? Anyway, you get what I mean!

thesaurusgirl Wed 29-Jan-14 19:00:14

It isn't baby talk. It's a dialect word that's been absorbed into the broader lexicon.

But do go on clutching your faux pearls in horror whenever your child says "ta" or "toilet", or else the better educated amongst us won't be able to sneer at you.

saf I understand where you're coming from, is it even a word? hmm

I hate it and have never said it , had my own children started saying it at home after attending nursery I too would be inwardly twitching, it's a word I've never liked and wouldn't say in a childcare setting, which I work in incidentally.

Actually mentioning your irritation out loud is tricky, you might be seen as one of 'those' parents and it might not come out the way you intend it, causing offence perhaps.

I would suggest saying nothing.

PrimalLass Wed 29-Jan-14 19:01:38

I can't believe a previous poster said that they use it at work

Why not?

RobinSparkles Wed 29-Jan-14 19:02:57

It will all be a moot point when they're at high school it's all: summat
Innit
And every other word is "like".
And they speak in a language that you don't even understand!

Dawndonnaagain Wed 29-Jan-14 19:03:45

Let's face it it's a bit common.

There I said it.

OP just carry on saying thank you and your will catch on with it.

Hahahahahaha!
Wrong, trust me, 'Ta' is perfectly acceptable in the circles in which you would like to mix.

pyjamasatlunch Wed 29-Jan-14 19:05:28

I grew up in Essex where people say "tar" all the time. When someone says "tar, luv" it gets me just here <points at heart>. Same goes for referring to a problem as "jip". I LOVE IT!!!!! grin

SomethingkindaOod Wed 29-Jan-14 19:05:34

2 oldest said at then switched to thanks or thank you when older. Youngest says 'tank oo' at 2 yo. Eldest happens to be a sarky beggar and has been known to bow and say 'I thank you' when the mood takes him grin
Ta is the norm in these parts as is loo so nobody bats an eye at it.

FootieOnTheTelly Wed 29-Jan-14 19:06:05

I am really polite but I will say 'ta' in some situations. I have no issue with it in informal situations.

FootieOnTheTelly Wed 29-Jan-14 19:08:13

I say tar rather than ta (with a short hard 'a'). Is that less common that the other way around. hmm

Shelbury Wed 29-Jan-14 19:08:32

So the word 'ta' is offensive? Did I just read that correctly?

Just imagining some of you clutching your pearls whilst in earshot of common little babies innocently saying 'ta' to their chavvy parents - oh the horror

PrimalLass Wed 29-Jan-14 19:08:57

To all the adults who use Ta, do you pronounce it 'ta' or 'tar'?

Ta. It's a shortening of 'Tak', so not sure why anyone would pronounce it 'tar'.

See round here, (black country) 'tar' is a perfectly acceptable, is slightly relaxed word for thank you. 'ta' is something you say to little ones when they are just learning to talk, so still in the dada mama stage... totally different. If an adult said 'ta' to me I would think they were off their rocker, 'tar' and I would say you're welcome! grin

Dawndonnaagain Wed 29-Jan-14 19:09:44

Of course it's not, Shelbury, misplaced snobbery is all!

PrimalLass Wed 29-Jan-14 19:10:18

Oh I see, south of England 'tar'? This is all getting too confusing.

PrimalLass Wed 29-Jan-14 19:11:02

In Scotland it is ta as in ta(p).

SwedishEdith Wed 29-Jan-14 19:11:32

Ha ha @ the shock at people using it at work. I use "cheers" and "ta" at work - sometimes in the same sentence - especially when someone makes me a brew wink

shushpenfold Wed 29-Jan-14 19:12:30

Totally with you here - I refused to use it when mine were little although lots did. I don't say 'ta' I say thank you so why on earth I'd teach my children to say anything different is beyond me. Say something (although she'll think you're bonkers!!)

hoppingmad Wed 29-Jan-14 19:12:59

I don't like ta - or hiya which is my other pet hate. It's nothing to do with misplaced snobbery, they are just irritating words.
I've never said them to any of mine and they've always managed, however I wouldn't bring it up with nursery - don't make yourself seem like 'one of those parents' just yet!

IRCL Wed 29-Jan-14 19:14:47

YABU, it is just a word.

Is it because it's easier for the child to say Ta then Thank you?

I don't know but in the grand scheme of things it is such a non issue.

shushpenfold Wed 29-Jan-14 19:15:24

....unless it's an issue for the OP, in which case it isn't.

Who is actually clutching those fucking pearls, as some of you have suggested?

Ta is a word some people dislike, we all have words we hate [plenty of threads about them] and anyone jumping on 'you're just being a snob' bandwagon is a prat.

BlueSkyandRain Wed 29-Jan-14 19:15:43

The urban dictionary says " Ta: A slang word for Thanks. The word is a result of the heavy Danish influence on the English language. Most people do not realize that the English language roots are really Danish or Jutland. Equiped with this knowledge this word is easy to decipher.

The Danish word for Thanks is tak. In Scotland and upper England it was common to drop the k at the end because of the way words were pronounced during the time of old English and Middle English. Hence the slang word "Ta" which should actually be pronounced "TA-k" but over time became "Ta" is really Tak meaning "Thanks" ".

I guess that's why it's considered normal for adults up north, and southerners get it wrong again (along with not knowing what a breadcake is etc ;) ).

Shelbury Wed 29-Jan-14 19:15:58

It was described as rage worthy and offensive up thread

Agree it's misplaced snobbery though

SwedishEdith Wed 29-Jan-14 19:16:37

I'm northern and pronounce it "tar". Never heard it said as "ta" so assume that's just a regional variation? I like the idea that I'm speaking Scandi.

RabbitRabbit78 Wed 29-Jan-14 19:17:46

'Ta' gives me the rage. Kids should be taught to speak properly and the way to do this is by modelling speaking properly. Yes they may say ta to mean thank you but they should understand what they are trying to say.

I also get the rage over baby talk like 'doggy' etc so I may BU. I think it comes from being an ex primary teacher who heard a lot of kids old enough to use the proper words still using baby talk because their parents did. I would pick the nursery up on it because IMO it shows a lack of understanding of modelling correct use of language (although tbh for me I also think it shows a lack of respect for the kids).

matildamatilda Wed 29-Jan-14 19:18:16

I'm from the US and I live in W. Yorkshire. I think there's a big difference regionally.

I hear "ta" at work a lot and it's clearly just an informal "thank you," like "thanks."

But sometimes I'll hear it down south and it has a different feeling. Like a person saying "cheers ta!" to the cashier after buying a newspaper--it sounds maybe a little condescending?

grumpyoldbat Wed 29-Jan-14 19:19:53

I thought ta was short for tapadh leat blush.

saffstel Wed 29-Jan-14 19:20:36

Didn't mean to start a north/south war! Sorry northern sisters!
For me the issue is not liking baby talk, not class!

Upsy1981 Wed 29-Jan-14 19:20:47

Ta perfectly acceptable here and yes it is proven rhat to use 'baby talk' helps to develop the bond between adult and child and aid communication. I'm sure some people will be along to say that they never used it with their children and they have a perfectly strong bond with their children but nevertheless that is what research says, although obviously there will be exceptions to any rule.

I honestly didn't realise that toilet or pardon were considered rude until I read it on here a while back. Where I live (NW England), parents from all backgrounds actively encourage their children to say pardon. I'm sure in ye olde days that might have been the case but as language has developed it has become more frequently used.

But this is from a 30-odd year old woman who inadvertently used the word 'innit' the other day, much to the amusement of my DH.

Upsy1981 Wed 29-Jan-14 19:22:54

Matilda, you should try living where I live where 'cheers, ta, thanks a lot luv'is a perfectly acceptable way to finish a transaction in a shop.

hoppingmad Wed 29-Jan-14 19:23:04

See I have no problems with pardon, it's better than the grunt or 'huh?' I normally get from the older ones!

FootieOnTheTelly Wed 29-Jan-14 19:24:24

PrimalLass. I don't think saying tar is unusual! confused I have said it like that my whole life and allmy family say it like that.
'Ta' sounds Liverpudlian in my head. Tar sounds normal.

Dawndonnaagain Wed 29-Jan-14 19:25:29

Actually this is fascinating. I have a huge problem with Pardon because it's nearly always used in the wrong context, as in 'what did you say'. I hate pardon unless I'm actually asking for forgiveness for a misdemeanor.
Also hate toilet and serviette and for some unknown reason, the word 'crepuscular'. I shuddered as I typed that! grin

pancakesfortea Wed 29-Jan-14 19:25:30

pyjamas I grew up in east London and Essex. I say "Ta(r) love" to my kids all the time.

Good job I don't mind being common.

shushpenfold Wed 29-Jan-14 19:26:14

....or 'what' (or rather 'whoh') from my 13 and 11 yr olds....9yr hasn't started with that gem as yet.

lunar1 Wed 29-Jan-14 19:31:00

I can't stand ta, I have no idea why. Im Northern and when I hear it it makes me cringe as much as if someone ran their nails down a chalk board or was chewing cotton wool. I feel the same about the word Kids.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 29-Jan-14 19:31:06

I don't think I've ever met a RL person who actually says lavatory

I do but only when I'm talking to people who look like they may faint at shit box

PrimalLass Wed 29-Jan-14 19:31:10

'Ta' gives me the rage. Kids should be taught to speak properly and the way to do this is by modelling speaking properly.

But it is speaking properly.

In a shop around here the conversation would go something like this:

Cashier: E'am bab (here you go)
Me: Tar (thank you)
Cashier: Yum welcum (you're welcome)
Me: t'rah a-bit (bye)

grin I love language!

PiratesLifeForMe Wed 29-Jan-14 19:33:02

I say ta (tar) quite a lot....never really thought about it! Never heard it pronounced ta as in tap before.

Dawndonnaagain Wed 29-Jan-14 19:33:52

I say lavatory.

PrimalLass Wed 29-Jan-14 19:33:56

In Scotland we use a short 'a' for a lot of words.

willowstar Wed 29-Jan-14 19:34:00

When my daughter first started at the child minders she asked us if we said ta or thank you as she would do as we liked. We are a thank you sort of family and o was she so all was we
L. I understand your annoyance ...however putting your children in other pele's care will mean they are exposed o lots of things you would do differently, you just have to accept it.

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Wed 29-Jan-14 19:36:10

In stores it's normal for a cashier to say Ta love or cheers.

I have never thought it to be an issue. It's just normal to me.

I think everyone where I'm from says Ta. Pronounced tar, from babies to the elderly.

shil0846 Wed 29-Jan-14 19:36:41

YANBU - I hate it too. Makes me cringe when my MIL says it to my DS.
I would ask the key worker to say "thank you" instead.

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Wed 29-Jan-14 19:37:27

Sock I've heard 'Im off t' lav' before grin

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 29-Jan-14 19:39:01

Fwiw, I would not make any assumption about anybody saying ta to a child other than "how nice" manners are important.

I don't use ta and I like to get stupidly impressed when my 22 month old says thank you very clearly and I wouldn't use ta at work however I do routinely and loudly say festering fucking cunt at work, so not sure my opinion counts for much

Bowlersarm Wed 29-Jan-14 19:40:28

But it is speaking properly

No it isn't! 'Thank you' would be speaking properly.

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Wed 29-Jan-14 19:42:07

Where I'm from Ta is normal and it is speaking properly. It's a word

yummystepford Wed 29-Jan-14 19:42:28

I think the issue with ta is that if you are showing appreciation to someone you should have the respect to actually say thank you instead of lazily saying ta, which really does not sound at all like genuine appreciation. This is why it feels common, it's the associated disrespect.

confused

That's a bit odd. Surely no-one actually thinks you are rationing your syllables?

nickymanchester Wed 29-Jan-14 19:46:15

No it isn't!

...Oh yes it is <saw too many pantos over Xmas>

charitymum Wed 29-Jan-14 19:46:25

YABU and the snobbery is hysterical....

Those with real class tend not to notice the accents or affections of others-it's a real faux middle class thing.

Wait til you child calls you a 'little beggar'- brilliant from our 18 month old this week - from either nanny or nursery. Or cheeky bugger from our two and half year old-from me!

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Wed 29-Jan-14 19:48:03

So saying two words means a lot more than the one? There's me thinking it was just the same thing.

You can say thank you an not mean it.

msmoss Wed 29-Jan-14 19:48:28

YABU learning to communicate us about much more than using the 'proper' words, using ta is simply providing a sound in acknowledgement for someone giving you something, they'll have moved on to thank you by the time your DC is able to form words more easily and understandably so you can unclench.

charitymum Wed 29-Jan-14 19:49:25

Yummy - seriously?

Then how do you explain the - very posh - Sloane 'ya' instead of yes. Is one letter less ok because they are posh girls?

Dawndonnaagain Wed 29-Jan-14 19:50:59

charity it's 'yah'! wink

Grennie Wed 29-Jan-14 19:53:47

Just wanted to say around the issue of baby talk, research into speech development has shown children taught with baby talk, learn speech in general faster. There is a theory that baby talk from, adults to small children is perfectly natural.

msmoss Wed 29-Jan-14 19:53:54

yummystepford we're talking about a 10 month old baby hmm

Grennie Wed 29-Jan-14 19:55:37

And given the many and varied pet hates of parents, no sensible nursery is going to accommodate this request.

jamdonut Wed 29-Jan-14 19:56:36

Oh good god! This argument makes me mad!

I'm nearly 50, and I was brought up (in the South) saying 'Ta',but it doesn't stop me saying 'Thank you' now. I still use 'Ta' informally,though.

I taught my own children to say 'Ta' when they were little. They are all (almost) grown - up now, and can all say 'Thank You' when it matters, but between family and friends tend to say 'Ta'.

We live in the North now. I don't think I've noticed a difference in usage of 'Ta' from South to North.

What is wrong with using both ?

yummystepford Wed 29-Jan-14 19:58:11

I do think it's perfectly acceptable to use with children. Lots of people talk differently to one another, and children need to know that, they are smart enough to know to say thank you if you do even if the nursery say ta.

However I do feel annoyed when I've gone out of my way to help a friend and they respond with ta. It is rude if they can't be bothered to form the words 'thank you' so I do think it's lazy. I don't think it counts in areas where it's the norm

catkind Wed 29-Jan-14 19:58:54

I'm from the south east and say ta (pronounced "tar" but maybe a bit shorter on the "ar") and thanks quite interchangeably. I wouldn't say I'm posh but equally don't speak in local dialect and don't think anyone would describe my accent as common.
I don't particularly like using different words for children to what I'd use for adults though if that's what you mean. I also don't particularly like the habit of trying to teach manners to children by saying thanks when you give them something. Just confuses them as far as I can see, like when people speak in the third person to babies all the time then are surprised when they can't cope with you/me.

AmandinePoulain Wed 29-Jan-14 19:59:03

I think it's really cute when dd2 says "Ta" when she wants something or wants me to take something. She'll learn to say thank you in her own time, the same way that I'm assuming she won't call dogs "dohs" forever wink

How do you know it's that they can't be bothered? confused

Honestly - have you ever thought to yourself 'ooh, this sentence is sixteen syllables ... this one is eighteen ... or I could shave one off here and make seventeen' before you open your mouth?

Frankly, I think you're being elastic with the truth if you claim to believe that!

Frigintinsella Wed 29-Jan-14 20:00:34

YABU my horrible witch of an old boss at a nursery banned that word (along with other ridiculous demands) I just see it as a stepping stone type word and when the children's language skills had developed we could move on to saying thank you!
IMO I'd prefer to get some kind of verbal acknowledgement of thanks rather than a blank stare because they couldnt say the words.

RevoltingPeasant Wed 29-Jan-14 20:01:20

My mum is an educated woman with a degree in linguistics who has lived abroad most of her life and speaks three languages fluently.

She says 'ta' because she is from Lancs where it is quite normal.

I'm sorry, but the only objectionable thing in this thread is not the ta-ing, it's the parochial snobbery of people who can't understand that other people who live in different places use language differently. This doesn't make them narsty common people your child should avoid, it just means they speak differently to you. This all reminds me of a hilarious thread in Chat a while back where a poster from the SE seriously couldn't grasp that people who pronounced Frances with a short A just spoke in a different accent to her, rather than being wrong.

Also, who seriously uses the word common as a derogatory term? grin

HavantGuard Wed 29-Jan-14 20:04:50

I was raised in Lancs. None of my family use it.

hoobypickypicky Wed 29-Jan-14 20:06:15

YANBU. I'd tell the nursery I want them to use "thank you" and tough if they thought I was a loon. As long as they didn't tell me, the paying customer, that I was, I couldn't care less.

MrsOakenshield Wed 29-Jan-14 20:09:21

I don't mind ta (and I'm as southern and MC as they come - I say taaar) but I would be annoyed if they were using 'ta' purely because they think it's easier for children. Can't stand that sort of dumbing down (like the TV series of Harry and the Dinosaurs shortening all the dinosaurs' names, unlike in the book where Triceratops is Triceratops, not bloody Trike!)

MidniteScribbler Wed 29-Jan-14 20:09:48

I used ta with DS and now at two he's moving to thank you, usually "ta fan too" right now. It's a transition between baby and adult language. As a teacher, as long as you teach your child some sort of manners, I can live with either, although I will promote thank you in my classroom.

DameDeepRedBetty Wed 29-Jan-14 20:17:11

I was thinking about this subject today, while wandering along walking the dogs, and realised that I now sound EXACTLY like my mother. Basically don't worry OP, your child will eventually pick up her style of speech from you. All the nursery staff, teachers, TAs, friends, colleagues, TV programmes, have had no long term effect. I now sound exactly like every other middle class rural family in Southern England grin!

MrsOakenshield Wed 29-Jan-14 20:20:34

but why do children need 'baby' language, midnite?

Grennie Wed 29-Jan-14 20:26:40

Because it helps their speech development.

charitymum Wed 29-Jan-14 20:31:18

Thanks DawnDonnaAgain - guess spelling not my strong suit either!!smile

TheBuskersDog Wed 29-Jan-14 20:32:53

I grew up in the north and use ta all the time, have just used it to my 16 year old when he did something for me. However when he was little I hated people doing that "say ta" thing that some people do to small children, I also would not have taught him to say moo-moo instead of cow as I hate baby talk.
As some others have said when adults use it it is not baby talk, yes it is slang and would be inappropriate to use in some situations, e.g when receiving an honour from the queen, but is fine when a work colleague is handing you a cup of coffee.

Kubrickian Wed 29-Jan-14 20:34:12

the word ta is generally rage worthy and offensive

Well I can understand it being annoying or "rage worthy", but how in the hell is it "offensive"?

Seriously I cannot understand how this word is offensive.

And if I had a partner who cringed at the words I decided to use and was using in the right context then I wouldn't want to be with someone who felt so superior to me.

topknob Wed 29-Jan-14 20:34:36

I can't stand ta either, just thank you will do..they will pick it up eventually, why try and make them say a word which doesn't exist?

MollyWhuppie Wed 29-Jan-14 20:35:25

I don't use the word myself, but I think it is good to teach babies and toddlers to express appreciation when someone gives them something.

Ta is the easiest thing for them to start saying at say, 10 months, and then is easily swapped for thank you later on. I think it is more about learning to say something in acknowledgement when someone does something for them - the building blocks of good manners. Who cares what that word is to start with?

Mine started with 'ta', instigated by nursery, and are now always complimented on their good manners now they are older. They say 'thank you' now. Really, it's not a problem.

MidniteScribbler Wed 29-Jan-14 20:40:21

MrsOakenshield, I'm not on my main PC to send the links, but if you look at some of Thiessen's work on infant directed speech you'll find quite a bit of research about the topic.

TheBuskersDog Wed 29-Jan-14 20:43:27

topknob

the word ta does exist and is in the dictionary.

Dawndonnaagain Wed 29-Jan-14 20:43:34

blush
So sorry Charity, was trying to be amusing and didn't think about it misfiring. Genuine mistake. Apologies.

FunLovinBunster Wed 29-Jan-14 20:45:28

Hate hate hate 'ta'. It's really lazy and ignorant.
Teach them once, teach them right.
It's thank you not ta.
It's cat not pussy.
It's dog not doggy.
Can't stand baby speak.

I say it and so do many people where I live. It's ok not to like it, but people who find it actually offensive must be sickened to meet non-english speakers who use different words for things.

FloozeyLoozey Wed 29-Jan-14 20:45:38

Loads of adults say ta round here (central Lancashire). Very common and not at all baby talk.

charitymum Wed 29-Jan-14 20:46:51

Hi sorry Dawn I was joking too!!!!! Clearly we both need to work on our humour!!! smile

CumberCookie Wed 29-Jan-14 20:47:02

I think that the fact that they are teaching your dd to give an appropriate response ie thankfullness is more important that what the actual word they say is IYSWIM

Dawndonnaagain Wed 29-Jan-14 20:47:52

FunLovin As the granddaughter of Lords on both sides, trust me, I am neither lazy nor ignorant. I have been in the presence of royalty and they too have used 'ta'.

HoratiaDrelincourt Wed 29-Jan-14 20:49:24

tl;dr

Round here people use ta with small children but it's taaaaaaaa with really exaggerated inflection and I hate it.

Mine signed "thank you" before their first birthdays [smug] so I could wait for a spoken "thank you" instead of "ta".

I don't mind ta in general, just as a stupid alternative to a perfectly normal word.

::goes to rtft::

FunLovinBunster Wed 29-Jan-14 20:50:40

That's lovely, Donna.
It does not change my opinion on this issue.

FootieOnTheTelly Wed 29-Jan-14 20:51:27

FunLovinBunster. Really? You actually think its ignorant to say 'ta'. That is very judgey pants of you. sad

newyearhere Wed 29-Jan-14 20:52:11

It's a friendly and informal part of northern dialect. It doesn't stop people saying thank you in more formal settings.

charitymum Wed 29-Jan-14 20:52:20

DawnDonnaAgain I am in POW most weeks and here ta and ya(h) everywhere! And a few choice other words too.

FunLovinBunster Wed 29-Jan-14 20:53:12

It's very judgey pants of you to take umbrage at my opinion purely because it doesn't agree with what you think.

charitymum Wed 29-Jan-14 20:53:37

Hear. Hear. FFS PhD and I can't spell!

HoratiaDrelincourt Wed 29-Jan-14 20:54:19

re baby talk...

Using baby language such as exaggerated inflection, repetition, unusually high pitch and consonant reinforcement (doggy for dog, etc) aids language development.

Using bullshit made up words ("going bobos" for "sleeping") doesn't.

HTH

SpecialAgentFreyPie Wed 29-Jan-14 20:54:32

This is an issue? confusedhmm

>Can't be arsed, wanders off thread<

Grennie Wed 29-Jan-14 20:55:47

Be as snobby as you want, but baby talk helps speech development. Staff at a good nursery would know this.

www.hanen.org/Helpful-Info/Articles/Fact-or-Fiction--The-Top-10-Assumptions-about-Earl.aspx

Grennie Wed 29-Jan-14 20:57:03
Dawndonnaagain Wed 29-Jan-14 20:57:31

Charity haven't been up for years, thank the heavens! The language can be a little ripe, yah! grin

I think the nursery that DD went to at that age had a policy of not saying "ta". Probably because the owner was rather posh. They used baby signs for please and thank you which worked really well.

I'd rather that my child wasn't taught "ta" or "pardon" but those are probably the only words I can think of that I have a preference for. Though she particularly enjoys saying "poo" at the moment, so perhaps my focus should be on that.

melika Wed 29-Jan-14 21:01:42

We say 'Ta' in the midlands and I am not the slightest upset by it, it shows manners, that is the point. YABU.

PrimalLass Wed 29-Jan-14 21:04:37

WTF is wrong with 'pardon'? In what context?

newyearhere Wed 29-Jan-14 21:06:20

It's not "baby speak". In certain places where it's the dialect, adults will use "ta" at any informal time. It's warm and friendly. Obviously they wouldn't say "ta" at a job interview, or if the Queen paid them a compliment, they'd say "thank you"!

notso Wed 29-Jan-14 21:07:43

It didn't occur to me to use it with DC but I don't say it so it wouldn't. They all managed a form of thank you pretty quickly.
I don't see the need to use words you don't normally use when speaking to a baby.
I don't like the way the accent of my area says the letter a it is a horrible hard nasal sound one of the only accents I have heard that made the name Grace sound awful.

msmoss Wed 29-Jan-14 21:48:27

Primallass some people think the use of the word pardon is common hmm

I can understand pedantry when it comes to spelling and grammar, particularly in a formal written context, but I'm just totally baffled by the application of class consciousness to words, particularly words that are being used to be polite. Communication is about more than the actual words that are used Ta and pardon are used by people with good manners, if you can't accept the sentiment behind these words and would rather just write off the person speaking as common then you clearly have no manners.

CassCade Wed 29-Jan-14 22:01:04

I hate "ta"!! I think, if you feel like you do, then stick with 'thank you' at home but don't mention it to the nursery. And I don't agree that "thank you" is so hard to say that you shouldnt bother trying to teach it - a child's name is sometimes hard for the child to say but you're not going to simplify that into an easy one-syllable sound, are you?? All words are hard to say when a child is learning language - otherwise they'd sound like perfect mimics from day one! Anyway, I'm sure your child will be more likely to copy you, who she speaks to all the time than a nursery worker. smile

rainraingoAWAYNEVERCOMEBACK Wed 29-Jan-14 22:04:31

I wouldn't complain but I am so with you op, I do not understand it, you do not usually shorten other words why shorten thank you....

Its horrid.

rainraingoAWAYNEVERCOMEBACK Wed 29-Jan-14 22:05:20

I dont care if its common or what the Queen herself uses, I just dont like the sound of it!

DownstairsMixUp Wed 29-Jan-14 22:07:26

Are you the woman at my nursery who complains EVERY single day to our manager about one of the keyworkers? hmm

Gatorade Wed 29-Jan-14 22:15:13

I don't know what I would do in this situation but I completely understand. Last year I decided not to employ a nanny who was perfectly acceptable and lovely but for the fact she kept saying 'ta' to my DD everytime she was handed something.

scantilymad Wed 29-Jan-14 22:19:55

I don't particularly like 'ta' but isn't it good your daughter is being taught the concept of responding politely when someone hands her something? I wouldn't make it an issue as you may just alienate the staff. Then just work on it at home?

YummyDollie Wed 29-Jan-14 22:25:13

Everyone round here says ta is it a yorkshire thing... i always say it to DD (9 months) but then i say it to adults to i.e hands me a drink "or ta for that" don't see the problem with it personally

Kubrickian Wed 29-Jan-14 22:29:02

PrimalLass don't even bother asking about 'pardon', unless you want to be bored to tears.

Pardon = common and you are suppose to say 'what?' instead.

For the people that have a life this would not even register as an issue.

BringBackBod Wed 29-Jan-14 22:31:01

I think words such as lazy, rude , ignorant, horrid, common are a bit much tbh.
In the north of England ta is commonly used (as is thank you).
It doesn't necessarily make people who use the word any of the above.That's quite insulting.

NoraRobertsismyguiltypleasure Wed 29-Jan-14 22:33:35

I don't like 'ta' either. When I worked as a nursery nurse I always said 'Thank you' or if a child already said 'ta' then I would say 'Yes, ta, thank you'. Now as a mum I find I do say 'ta' occasionally to my daughter simply because she is more likely to say that, but I continue to say 'Thank you'.
I don't think you can ask the nursery to only say Thank you to your child, but you could ask them to say both and explain that you would like her to learn them both.

LittleBearPad Wed 29-Jan-14 22:36:00

How is this an issue.

Do unclench people. This is the epitome of middle class fussing. Will you all faint if the DCs say perfume, mirror and serviette too.

LurkingCinners Wed 29-Jan-14 22:38:11

I went to uni up North and everyone said it "ta, luv"
I do say "ta" sometimes in a very informal setting. Can't see any harm.
Don't use it with my dc because we speak another language wink

<prefers ta to fank you>

perplexedpirate Wed 29-Jan-14 22:38:29

I loathe the word 'pardon', though not as much as 'serviette'.

If it makes you feel better to assume I have 'no life' (what does that even mean?) then go for it, kiddo. wink

msmoss Wed 29-Jan-14 22:39:48

Anyone else pondering how often those so in favour of thank you stoop so low as to offer someone their thanks? wink grin

EST0106 Wed 29-Jan-14 22:41:00

I also can't bear it. When DD was about your DD's age nursery did say 'ta' a lot. I assume it's because it's easier than thank you. She grew out of it though and now says thank you or thanks, and we're in Yorkshire ;-) She's 2.6. I wouldn't bother saying anything, she will grow out of it in time.

EmperorTomatoKetchup Wed 29-Jan-14 22:45:02

Gosh motherhood is such a struggle at times isn't it?

Have I actually read correctly that some people would seriously consider changing nursery over use of the word ta??

M0naLisa Wed 29-Jan-14 22:45:08

My 14mth old says 'ta' it's very cute I think

crazzzzycat Wed 29-Jan-14 23:13:52

Agree agree. Hate the word ta. it just sounds so awful. 15m DD saying thank you with no problems. As did DS slightly younger.

And pardon too..... yuk. Have to grit my teeth very often amongst all the ta and pardons from my MIL and SIL.

newyearhere Wed 29-Jan-14 23:43:05

"Ta" is an extra word for "thank you" but with a different feel to it (friendlier and warmer). It's a dialect word which is perfectly valid.

I wonder how this thread would go if some of the other historic regional variations were criticised, such as Cockney rhyming slang, or Geordie, Scots or West Country accents or phrases. They're a part of the cultural identity of many people.

Nanny0gg Wed 29-Jan-14 23:45:00

Just imagining some of you clutching your pearls whilst in earshot of common little babies innocently saying 'ta' to their chavvy parents - oh the horror
grin

Oh dear, some of you really need to find your missing grips!

I don't have a problem with the dislike of certain words or phrases; I have quite a long list myself.
But, really - the over-dramatization of the horror that is the word 'Ta'! The world won't come to an end because one or two of us are a little common
(and you can tell that I must be as I am a Nanny in real life too, and that is a real MN Hate)
smile

madmayday Thu 30-Jan-14 01:44:12

My daughter has a speech delay and it's looking increasingly like she's a mute. sad

If she said "Ta" by way of giving thanks, I'd probably weep with joy.

Most kids learn their proper P's and Q's eventually. Some of you on here are being bloody ridiculous.

BringBackBod Thu 30-Jan-14 07:14:45

Where I live 'duck' is often used after ta, although probably not in a nursery setting.
Can you imagine that? smile

CouthyMow Thu 30-Jan-14 08:04:43

If I'd have said "what" instead of "pardon" if I hadn't heard something, I would have got into trouble for being rude with my Scottish Grandparents. Yet if I said "pardon" instead of "what" in that situation with my English Grandparents, I would have got into trouble for being rude...

Odd how different people, from different areas go the Country, that the complete opposite phrase can be seen as 'rude' or 'common'.

Made it a minefield...

Then again, (outing myself here), my Scottish Granny has a 'phrase' that comes out as "beppon" when she doesn't hear something. It's a contraction of "beg your pardon". It is so much a part of my Granny that it will always be intertwined with what makes my Granny who she is, to me.

"Beppon?"

grin

Morgause Thu 30-Jan-14 08:09:31

Ta is fine until a child can say thank you. Manners are as important as good English.

My mum said it was common to say pardon. I'm not sure how she knew this but she did have a mysterious list somewhere in her head of all that was common.

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