to have snuggled up in geckos bed for 10 mins whilst she feel asleep and then dd2s for 10 mins whilst she fell asleep tonight

(64 Posts)
TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:14:52

They have been increasingly unsettled at bedtime

starting to say they need a brighter lamp, cant bear the door shut, wont go upstairs on their own etc

they are getting more and more tired as they are ending up not falling asleep as early as they need

I just decided tonight that maybe they just need a little extra comfort to relax and fall asleep

I had no idea what I was going to do when I started. I just read them some of the book we are on and then said
I'll give you both a snuggle for a bit so you can settle down

they chatted to me, as their cuddly toys, for a couple of mins and them shushed down, gecko was asleep in less than ten mins

then I climbed in with dd2 and she was asleep in about ten minutes

then I fell backwards off her bed trying to get up (bottom bunk, got my foot caught in the bottom of the ladder)

and felt all calm and happy that they were asleep by 9pm and would get a good nights sleep

misdee Wed 22-Jan-14 23:16:08

Sounds lovely. Nothing wrong with it IMO.

YAsoNBU smile.

But you knew that already - hope you've not hurt yourself falling.

LakeFlyPie Wed 22-Jan-14 23:17:53

Sounds like excellent, intuitive parenting to me apart from the falling out of the bunk bed bit

You're a star TrinityRhino smile

WandaDoff Wed 22-Jan-14 23:18:14

Funnily enough DD fell asleep almost immediately at your house when I laid with her.

She doesn't do that at home. I think I may have remarked on it at the time.

Mim78 Wed 22-Jan-14 23:19:29

Sounds fine to me. To of interest how old are they? Wondering if they should be going upstairs by themselves yet anyway.

TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:20:10

I landed on a small blue cuddly dragon who seems unperturbed and I was unhurt grin

Gecko is turning 7 on the 7th of feb and dd2 will be 9 in april incase that makes a difference

Nothing better than a mummys comfort smile


No way is Gecko 7!! shock

You were lucky you landed on a cuddly dragon and not a plasticky one grin

FloozeyLoozey Wed 22-Jan-14 23:21:56

Maybe I'm being really dumb but wtf is a gecko in this context?! Thought it was a lizard type thing?

TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:22:00

misdee I haven't seen you around for an age <waves>

yes you did mention it
I don't I'm anything special maybe my house has special powers

its got fuck all else going for it grin

'cept the veiw

TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:23:56

Gecko is my third daughter and youngest child Floozey grin

officially her MN name is Princess Gecko Blanket

poor wee lass was unnamed for a good few weeks

third girl, we just had run out of girls names grin

FloozeyLoozey Wed 22-Jan-14 23:25:17

Ah I see! Cute!

WandaDoff Wed 22-Jan-14 23:26:05

Has it been really windy lately?
Maybe the noise is scaring them.

Hows things at school?

misdee Wed 22-Jan-14 23:28:16

My 5th daughter was called Skelator by dh for ages.

mistlethrush Wed 22-Jan-14 23:30:04

Sounds perfect Trinity.

TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:30:10

it has been windy but not the last week or so
Its been going on a lot longer than that tbh

not sure why I assumed they were being silly and annoying rather than thinking that maybe they were wobbly

dropped the ball there blush

schools good, dd1 is back full time now but she is still struggling with being exhausted, she has a pead app on the 20th feb

bloody ages!

ouryve Wed 22-Jan-14 23:31:17

Sounds like a lovely bedtime grin

My two are all elbows and feet. No bedtime snuggles, here.

TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:31:18

skelator grin

thats hilarious

I guess to some Gecko would sound maybe a bit mean but I think they are really cute smile

misdee Wed 22-Jan-14 23:35:37

It was highly amusing when dd4, who was 3 at the time, told everyone who came into the house, that her new baby sisters name was Skelator.

Skelator is current.y snuggled upto me on the sofa, telling me she is tired, but refusing to go back to sleep.

TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:38:07

did you get anyone that actually believed her and then did the whole pretending to love the name thing

'oooh skelator, very unusual, I like it'
'I dont know why we didn't choose that'

DH and I have both often dozed off snuggling DD2 to sleep as she has a double bed.

No way did DD1 get a snuggle in bed, her bunk almost touches the ceiling.

misdee Wed 22-Jan-14 23:42:50

No. We got raised eyebrows most of the time.

Allalonenow Wed 22-Jan-14 23:46:38

Ahhh you've reminded me of when I used to do that, hundreds of years ago. smile

TarteAuxRiz Wed 22-Jan-14 23:47:04

You did right, but then dd co slept til she was 4 and still loves a snuggle at bedtime, and ds is in with me at nearly 4. At weekends they'll often both jump in and stay all night. I'll miss it loads when they both decide to sleep alone.

They're family, family belongs together whenever it needs to be. X

TarteAuxRiz Wed 22-Jan-14 23:50:02

(And dd is 9 just after yours trinity! they're never too old for a squidge!)

TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:52:12

oh gecko co slept till she was 4 and a half
she never went in a cot

they both adore to be allowed to sleep in my bed for the night
but now they tend to stay awake till I come to bed so I let them do that one night a weekend

also they are quite wriggly and duvet stealing

MrsOakenshield Wed 22-Jan-14 23:54:13

sounds lovely, might try it with DD (though she's in a toddler bed), she's out of bed, light on, play play play mess about mess about mess about, 'but I'm aloooooooooooone!' for days now.

Whenever I land on a toy it's always something like a Clanger or one of those bloody RSPB birds.

TrinityRhino Wed 22-Jan-14 23:58:07

rspb birds?

I have been known to squeeze into a toddler bed at times
much harder and much more likely to fall on something loud or hurty

If it lets them get to sleep, and makes them happy, and you are happy to do it, then why on earth not?
I sometimes think people who say "oooo you shouldn't do XYZ at {your DCs} age" actually mean "bugger that, I couldn't be arsed to do that for my DC and the fact that you can be arsed makes me feel somehow inadequate"
I think snuggles are lovely, and especially as DCs get older, they get rarer and are all the more appreciated grin It's not like you'll be there on the honeymoon co-sleeping with them and their spouse grin

MrsOakenshield Thu 23-Jan-14 00:01:48

these, we have 3 of the little fuckers them, I don't know how, we didn't buy any of them. Always lurking about DD's bedroom, waiting to take you by surprise as you creep in and out.

giraffesCantMakeResolutions Thu 23-Jan-14 00:03:42

hi trin x

I'm 5 ft 11 and have ended up spending the night in a toddler bed before

I thought you were going to say you fell and woke them both up. Glad you didn't

TarteAuxRiz Thu 23-Jan-14 00:09:52

smile I now keep a spare duvet handy at the end of the bed for when I lose all of my share to them!

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Thu 23-Jan-14 00:12:10

Sounds lovely Trin.
One day they might not want cuddles, so make the most of it while they do.
When you have the patience grin
It sounds like they needed to be snuggled, and it worked.
So well done.

TrinityRhino Thu 23-Jan-14 00:19:47

hey giraffes

dd2 is always on the look out for giraffe related clothing since you came grin

we would love to have you back

mrs oaken, loud bird toys are a bastard grin

SecretWitch Thu 23-Jan-14 00:27:52

Trinity, I cannot think of anything more lovely. How snug and comforting to lie with your DD's. When the years have gone by and those bed snuggles are no longer needed, I will be very sad indeed. (although, dd age 15, still comes into my bed on the weekend to get under covers and fill me in on her life..)

TrinityRhino Thu 23-Jan-14 00:40:58

dd1 13 stills climbs into bed with me for chats smile

loveblackcats Thu 23-Jan-14 01:58:36


Bearandcub Thu 23-Jan-14 02:15:45

YA most definitely NBU

It sounds heavenly to me. I can remember cuddles in bed with my mum 30 years on. I hope they will too. I can remember her perfume on my pillow, feeling safe and warm and loved, and how her hair was on my eyebrow but I was too dozy to do anything about it.

CouthyMow Thu 23-Jan-14 03:40:26

Fucking Hell! Gecko is going to be 7??!! Where did home disappear to??!!!

<<Checks date, sees it is, in fact 2014, and my 'baby' DS3 is going to be 3 this week...>>


CouthyMow Thu 23-Jan-14 03:43:00

Home should say time. I dislike Siri.

AlwaysDancing1234 Thu 23-Jan-14 04:54:53

YANBU I think sometimes everyone needs a hug!
Our DS is now 6 and always likes me or DH to sit with him for 10 mins before he goes to sleep. He also used to BF to sleep in my arms when he was tiny. Despite dire warnings from MIL and SIL (who even tried to take him off me more than once to "put him down to sleep properly" in a pram etc) DS is one if the best sleepers I know amongst our family and friends, always settled quickly and resettled if woke in the night as long as he had a hug and someone with him for 10 mins before sleep he was happy. Do what feels right for you and DC. As long as it's not taking hours to settle them I don't see any problem.

AlwaysDancing1234 Thu 23-Jan-14 05:01:05

Our DS has also introduced what he calls "family cuddle" where DS, DH and I (oh and 'baby' in my tummy of course!) have to snuggle up on sofa or bed for a real proper big group hug together before DS goes to bed. It's so lovely we now make it part of our bedtime routine (sorry if that makes me sound like a soppy sod)

NynaevesSister Thu 23-Jan-14 05:30:21

sure it would be nice to give son a kiss good night and send him off on his own. But that's not how he is. Plus I think a bed time story is just as important at 8 as it is at 4. Maybe they can read for themselves at that age but it is a lovely thing to share. If one of us lies down with him he is asleep in 2 mins if not less. If we send him to bed on his own he will be up and down for ages. So snuggling is both lovely and convenient :D

giraffesCantMakeResolutions Thu 23-Jan-14 06:55:39

I would love to come back too - and I promise I will when I am not ill/crazy busy!

TheRealAmandaClarke Thu 23-Jan-14 07:25:21

I think that sounds like a lovely bedtime.
Bedtime for my DCs is bf for dd and cuddle for DS while I read them a story on my bed. Sleep arrives for them by 730 and then I pop them into their own rooms.
Love it.

<happy to make rod for own back>

Ixia Thu 23-Jan-14 12:37:25

My DD is 8 and I quite often snuggle her in like that, she finds it hard to wind down. The only downside is that it's so warm and snuggly, sometimes I fall asleep too, then wake at midnight totally disorientated!

manicinsomniac Thu 23-Jan-14 13:01:34

At first I was thinking YWBU to sleep with first a lizard then your daughter - germ alert! grin

Sounds like a nice night though, YANBU. Weird thread though. Why did you think it would be unreasonable??

TrinityRhino Thu 23-Jan-14 16:01:08

I sometimes struggle to see what is within the realms of 'normal'

social services are sniffing around again and I was just hoping that the way I'm trying to help them be more settled is a good way

to me, it seems completely fine and necessary right now

but they are a whole different kettle of fish

they weren't happy that gecko was co sleeping with me when she was 3

therefore I didn't tell them that she continued to cosleep till she was gone 4 grin

thegreylady Thu 23-Jan-14 16:05:16

Hi Trinity I keep looking out for you and here you are with a lovely snuggly post and a blue dragon smile

TrinityRhino Thu 23-Jan-14 16:06:30

hi greylady

the dragon isn't talking to me today cause I squashed it yesterday grin

mistlethrush Thu 23-Jan-14 16:07:14

That's rotten news Trinity - however, the more the girls can be clearly properly rested before school etc - surely that will go as a positive in any dealings that school have with them?

TrinityRhino Thu 23-Jan-14 21:40:23

the school are very supportive of me which is bloody brilliant because ss have been rather mean in the past

we have a totally different social worker now though

she seems ok, not seen her more than twice
time will tell

she does a lot of smiling and laughing whilst saying things like
'hmm perhaps we'll put a little chore list on the wall'


silly me, If only I had thought of that....

mistlethrush Thu 23-Jan-14 21:41:39

She would have a great time here... I would be able to repaper the bathroom with the chore list... blush

FourArms Thu 23-Jan-14 21:48:40

I co slept and bf longer than 'normal' (DS2 was weaned at 35m IIRC). DS2 was incredibly clingy and a bad sleeper. He now sleeps 12 hours and is a secure & settled little boy.

DS1 is an insomniac who really struggles to get to sleep but wakes early regardless. Going to sleep in 'mummy's bed' (and then being semi-woken and sent to his bed later on) means he goes to sleep in 10 minutes. He gets two or three hours more sleep. How can that be wrong?

YANBU smile

I am just back down from a snuggle with DS1(almost 11) - he was upset about some Terraria situation <clueless>

<scribbles all over chore list>


TrinityRhino Thu 23-Jan-14 22:01:40

thank you all smile

Poledra Thu 23-Jan-14 22:10:06

'Lo Trim
I lay with 10-yo DD1 till she went to sleep the other night because we'd read a sad chapter in her book and she'd had a little sob. So we had a cuddle and a chat about the story till she felt ready to sleep. You do what you need to do to get them to sleep. Totally normal. And lovely to see you smile

mistlethrush Thu 23-Jan-14 22:11:15

<provides crayons so scribbles over chores list can be a bit prettier>

curlew Thu 23-Jan-14 22:17:05

I can without doubt beat anyone in the "oldest child you have every had in your bed" competition. But I won't. Because I might get arrested.

tantrumtime Thu 23-Jan-14 22:17:33

I do it every night, nothing nicer than the sleepy noises of my babies smile

Ha! curley, I'll see your 'oldest child' and raise you the fact that I shared a bed with my mum all night last summer. I am 47 grin. V cosy it was too.

What do I win?

curlew Thu 23-Jan-14 22:47:00

Curses. OK, Pacific, you win. However, I bet text messages weren't involved........

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