To wonder what the school will make of this.

(42 Posts)
LadyPenny Tue 21-Jan-14 19:16:21

Our school has a Facebook page which staff and parents use to communicate.
I've just seen a post from a mum which says
"I'm just letting you know that Harry has lost his lunch box again. I'm fed up of this happening so have given him a choice. He can go and find it or have no lunch tomorrow. He has chosen to have no lunch so I wlll not be sending one in. Please do not give him a school dinner as I will not pay for it".
Surely sending him in with his lunch in a carrier bag and making him use pocket money to replace the lunch box would be a better option. Or am I too soft.
Primary school if that makes any difference.

cory Tue 21-Jan-14 19:23:04

I imagine school will probably be more than a little fed up if they are expected to deal with a hungry and miserable Harry who can't concentrate. I really don't believe in laying your child's punishments on other people.

elliejjtiny Tue 21-Jan-14 19:23:08

I would imagine the school will give him a school dinner and send the parents a bill. My DC's school phones the parents and asks them to either bring in lunch or the child will be given a school dinner. If my DC's had lost lunchboxes they would be given a packed lunch in an ice cream tub.

formerbabe Tue 21-Jan-14 19:23:35 could you send your child to school with no lunch and tell the school not to give him any?! What sort of mum would be OK with their child being hungry at school?! As you said op, I would send it in in a carrier bag.

I think the school would be having a chat along the lines of "willful neglect" how can anyone consider sending their child to school with no lunch!

uselessinformation Tue 21-Jan-14 19:25:50

Agree - send in a carrier bag is what I used to so too.

CocktailQueen Tue 21-Jan-14 19:26:50

Poor Harry!!! And imagine a mum using a public Facebook page to post things like that. sad

Crowler Tue 21-Jan-14 19:30:03

As noted - if she's looking logical consequences, she'd be better off taking his money to replace his lunch box. This is just mean to poor Harry and passing the buck onto his teacher.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Tue 21-Jan-14 19:30:23

Slightly going against the general feeling here, it really would depend on how many lunch boxes he's lost. Some school insist on lunch boxes (ours does) and there is a limit to how many I would be prepared to buy. I might use old ice-cream tubs instead, but sometimes kids just have to learn that there are consequences to carelessness. (and No, I would have gone into school and discussed the issue with the teacher rather than using facebook)

conquistador Tue 21-Jan-14 19:34:21

shock Poor Kid!

Surely she's only doing that because she knows that the school will absolutely give him some lunch, yet she's making it clear that she won't pay in advance iyswim. I find it hard to believe that any parent would be happy with their child not eating from breakfast until the end of school!

YoureBeingASillyBilly Tue 21-Jan-14 19:37:29

Couldnt she have sent a note? confused or is she kne if those sort who smugly broadcast their most recent discipline strategy as if they expect a round of applause?

SuburbanRhonda Tue 21-Jan-14 19:37:50

Under no circumstances would the school allow the child to go without lunch, so, as PP have said, they would give him a school dinner and send the bill to the parent.

A good head teacher would also have the parent in to talk about how to manage such an issue in future and the appropriateness of withholding food from a child as a form of punishment.

nicename Tue 21-Jan-14 19:41:49

I feel a little sorry for Harry.

LadyPenny Tue 21-Jan-14 19:48:44

I've just looked at FB to see if anyone replied to the post. It's been removed. I hope she was just having a rant and thought better of it.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 21-Jan-14 19:51:32

Relived to hear it, OP.

Maybe she got a few comments like the ones on here. Doesn't mean she won't follow through with her threat not to feed her child, though sad

SaucyJack Tue 21-Jan-14 19:53:10

How old is Harry?

Hope the school looks into it. If that's the punishments she is publishing on FB I dread to think of the others she could implent.

AwfulMaureen Tue 21-Jan-14 20:05:00

I am SO glad my children's school doesn't have a page on FB! I think social media and schools don't mix and this illustrates one of the reasons why!

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 21-Jan-14 20:07:18

It depends primary secondary or sixth form?

MidniteScribbler Tue 21-Jan-14 20:08:37

Why does she assume that teachers would check the facebook page anyway? They're usually there for the school to put up some feel good pictures or reminders about upcoming events, not for communicating with staff.

And secondly, sending a child to school without lunch would be grounds for a chat about child welfare and if it continued we'd be required to report it to child services.

Domus Tue 21-Jan-14 20:21:55

at our school she would get a call to explain the error of her ways and if she didn't either provide lunch or agree to pay for one, child services would be advised.

OpalQuartz Tue 21-Jan-14 20:30:16

What sort of mum would be OK with their child being hungry at school?!

Hulababy Tue 21-Jan-14 20:31:28

Sockreturningpixie - OP syas primary.

It wouldn't be allowed at our school. We are infants , but our linked junior would be same. Child asked every morning what their lunch option is - meat, veggie or packed lunch. If a child had no packed lunch and told us this we would first call parents. Normally, if no contact and they didn't being lunch in, we would then just feed the child and bill the parent later.

And failing all that - one of us would just go and buy the poor child some food out of our pocket. We would not sit and let a child go hungry at lunchtime.

TBH even when I worked as a secondary school teacher I wouldn't have knowingly let a child go without lunch then either, even if it had to be funded from my own pocket.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Tue 21-Jan-14 20:34:37

What is she planning on doing the next day or is he not getting lunch any more?

FunkyBoldRibena Tue 21-Jan-14 20:35:04

It depends primary secondary or sixth form?

It's in the OP that it's primary.

NewtRipley Tue 21-Jan-14 20:39:53

It's not the forum I'd choose to communicate this to the rest of the school - it's disrespectful to Harry.
I'm all for logical consequences, but yes, paying for his meal, or the lunchbox, would be a better one.

She doesn't seem to have good judgment. or maybe she posted that before thinking

SaucyJack Tue 21-Jan-14 20:41:23

Our primary school goes all the way up to age 11- and a child of that age should be more than capable of either taking better care of their possessions or making their own bloody sandwich.

Hulababy Tue 21-Jan-14 20:43:04

Regardless saucyjack - I can't imagine any primary school, nor any teacher/staff, knowingly allow a child to go without lunch whilst in their care. Regardless of what they parent says.

NewtRipley Tue 21-Jan-14 20:43:11

Ah, I see she thought better of it. Probably in a rage when she posted

NewtRipley Tue 21-Jan-14 20:43:40

The staff would never agree to it.

Domus Tue 21-Jan-14 20:44:26

They should Saucy but the school still can't let him go without if he hasn't done.

NonnoMum Tue 21-Jan-14 20:45:37

Is Harry 5 or 15? Makes a difference...

Floggingmolly Tue 21-Jan-14 20:47:17

She posted that on a Facebook page accessible by the entire school; both staff and parents? hmm. I hope she removed it because the HT gave her a bollocking and insisted she did.

LynetteScavo Tue 21-Jan-14 20:49:03

I bet she caves in. I can see how a mum could get furious and have a rant, then give in and send in lunch in a plastic bag.

(DS lost 5, yes 5 lunch boxes in one term before I just stopped bothering with lunch boxes, and went with a plastic bag)

LynetteScavo Tue 21-Jan-14 20:51:17

And DS ate very little of his packed lunch...infact eventually he stopped eating any at all. Not even crisps or kitkat. The schools line was "We can't force him if he doesn't want to" They could have encouraged him, though, rather than letting him go straight out to play football. He now has school dinners.

DoJo Tue 21-Jan-14 20:52:23

It sounds as though she made a threat without really thinking it through, not expecting her son to take the no lunch option, or he goaded her by saying 'Fine - I'll have a school dinner instead' and she had to do something.
Not justifying it, or saying she was right, but I can kind of see how she might have backed herself into a corner and attempted to follow through in frustration. However, hopefully the fact that the message has now gone means that she has thought of a more appropriate punishment for lunchbox-losing Harry and he will be suffering on a full stomach at least.

Chippednailvarnish Tue 21-Jan-14 20:55:12

As Nonno said, if Harry is 6ft 2", 18 stone and 17 years old he's only got himself to blame grin.

mrspremise Tue 21-Jan-14 20:57:06

Manybschools will contact SS if no lunch is provided by the parents/guardians and payment is refused for school dinners. Just FYI...

bellasuewow Tue 21-Jan-14 21:00:14

It is really concerning and quite cruel to use witholding food as a punishment I hope the school deal with her appropriately.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 21-Jan-14 21:02:25

I'm having a stupid moment, missed that bit blush

But it would have been very very funny if it was sixth form

SaucyJack Tue 21-Jan-14 21:09:40

They should Saucy but the school still can't let him go without if he hasn't done.

No I know- more's the pity tho shock

Depending on his age, Harry may or may not not be a lippy, irresponsible little gobpoo* who could do with a good lesson in taking care of himself.

*I should know. I have one of these myself.

If Harry is Y5/Y6 it will not kill him to go without lunch (DD2 frequently ate only 40% of hers)

Bit mean to put it on FB though.

What I needed was a effective punishment for leaving jumpers scattered round school and important letters in your draw.

I eventually went in and rounded up about five jumpers (she managed to loose all her own and several to big hand me downs she found of her sister's)

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