In giving the Asda delivery driver an egg?

(120 Posts)
THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 13:51:32

I don't really know why I gave him an egg. He was young and seemed nice, asked me how my week was and everything. As I was going into the kitchen with the bags I passed the eggbox. I took one out, told him that my little hen had just laid it that morning and told him to take it with him.

He said it would break but I said to just shove it in his pocket.

He did look a bit puzzled and afterwards I wondered why I had given him an egg but at the time it just seemed the right thing to do?

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Tue 21-Jan-14 13:52:49

That's what's known as a GriefGift in my house - more grief than it's worth.

Well, whether or not it seemed right is irrelevant, you are just the crazy egg lady now.

CoffeeTea103 Tue 21-Jan-14 13:53:24

You nutter grin

Haha, you do realise he is picking bits of yolk and broken egg shell out of his pocket ad cursing you right now don't you!! smile

SaucyJack Tue 21-Jan-14 13:54:19

He's probably wondering if it's a sign from some weird fertility cult.

Thesimplethings Tue 21-Jan-14 13:54:23

grin

You sound lovely

bragmatic Tue 21-Jan-14 13:54:39

I'd be too chicken to do anything like that.

4athomeand1cooking Tue 21-Jan-14 13:55:11

I think it was an egg-cellent sentiment!

Someone had to do it grin

pomdereplay Tue 21-Jan-14 13:55:48

This is the most baffling AIBU I have ever read.

atomicyoghurt Tue 21-Jan-14 13:55:59

Hahaha not unreasonable just completely crazy. He won't come back!

Saucia Tue 21-Jan-14 13:56:19

A box of fresh eggs would be a really lovely gesture but one single loose egg, to a stranger, hahaha!

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 13:56:20

Oh dear, I hope it doesn't smash in his pocket!

It was only the puzzled look on his face and his initial reluctance that made me think I was being weird; it seemed natural to me to just shove an egg in his hand.

He won't think I'm egging him on will he?

bragmatic Tue 21-Jan-14 13:56:38

That was terrible 4athome!!! You need to get out more.

You've been cooped up too long.

GrandadGrumps Tue 21-Jan-14 13:56:47

He probably wondered if it was a substitution for something else.

Do you not think it was a bit eggs-travagant?

darjeelingdarling Tue 21-Jan-14 13:57:19

aw you are an eggstremely kind lady! grin

....if a little eggcentric....

Juno77 Tue 21-Jan-14 13:57:27

That has made me hmmgrinhmm

Weirdest thing ever.

hootloop Tue 21-Jan-14 13:57:46

You are going to get a reputation as the egg woman now.
I would love to see the Asda man's partner start a thread later on.
"AIBU to think it is weird a woman gave DP an an egg when he delivered her her groceries?"

4athomeand1cooking Tue 21-Jan-14 13:58:02

You will be laughed at today but by tomorrow it will have all "boiled" over!

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 13:58:04

Oh God he probably thinks I'm flirting or something now and want him to fertilise my eggs! blush

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Tue 21-Jan-14 13:58:15

That was wonderfully, brilliantly bonkers. Thank you. grin

4athomeand1cooking Tue 21-Jan-14 13:58:37

grin brag

It might start a trend. He may give you a lone liquorice allsort next time he delivers.

Or you may never see him again grin

FuckingWankwings Tue 21-Jan-14 14:02:04

That's so sweet, Rhubarb if a bit nuts grin

I can totally understand the impulse to want to press on someone an egg just laid by one of your own chickens (a much more meaningful gift than a shop-bought egg).

Logistically, though, I feel for him. I wonder if it made it home in one piece?

<<resists making egg puns, barely>>

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:04:23

I suppose it would have been more weird if it had been a shop bought egg, but the eggs my hen is laying at the moment is half the size of a shop bought one, they are really tiny and I only gave him one.

I should have given him at least three shouldn't I?

Dare I order from Asda ever again?

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 14:06:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FuckingWankwings Tue 21-Jan-14 14:06:08

Be prepared. Cut some of the little sections out of an eggbox and have an egg (or, yes, two or three might be nice) ready and waiting to hand to him, all protected.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Tue 21-Jan-14 14:06:41

You must.

Next week give him a rasher of bacon.

In a month, he'll have a full English.

Dillydollydaydream Tue 21-Jan-14 14:08:33

Ah this made me giggle! Thing we should all give our delivery drivers eggs from now on.

If it makes you feel better, my window cleaner thinks my dad is running a harem. I recently moved home and the WC seemed to think I was my dad's new fancy piece, not sure what he makes of my mum living here too.

confused

Catsize Tue 21-Jan-14 14:09:35

Eggcellent thing to do - not a poultry gift at all, but very henerous.

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:10:02

I am feeling a trifle embarrassed I must admit.

I am just imagining the egg breaking in his pocket now and he'll have to do the rest of the deliveries with a huge sticky stain where there really shouldn't be one and stinking of egg.

Should I telephone the Asda hotline and apologise/explain?

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Tue 21-Jan-14 14:11:47

tbh, he'll have put it in a bin or something. Sorry. grin

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 14:11:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spiderlight Tue 21-Jan-14 14:13:57

Is this a yolk?

fascicle Tue 21-Jan-14 14:16:33

This feels like the beginning of a modern day fairytale. No doubt the egg will turn out to have magical properties, and something very positive/life changing will be happening to the Asda man soon...

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:16:34

<groan>

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:17:26

What like the magic bean in Jack and the Beanstalk?

That would be epic!

MeepMeepVrooooom Tue 21-Jan-14 14:19:38

What would the eggs magical outcome be though?

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs Tue 21-Jan-14 14:19:50

OP I think that you sound like a lovely person! How kind to share the eggs from your little hen!
I offered a humbug to a chap that have me his seat on the train the other day but he didn't take it. Maybe we as a society have been conditioned not to egg-cept food gifts from people we don't know?

What's your secret? My chickens haven't laid in months. I'd have an egg off you any day. Very kind. I think the ASDA man was very lucky and I shall picture him tucking in to his dippy and soldiers for breakfast tomorrow.

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:21:51

I don't really like humbugs though. They remind me of old people. Not that you are old, just that the sweet is. Next time you should offer him one egg from your eggbox.

StormEEweather Tue 21-Jan-14 14:22:47

And people say AIBU is all goady bun fighting. OP you are great.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Tue 21-Jan-14 14:23:37

I'm waiting for the post later 'AIBU to think my husband is having an affair? He said he was at work but he came home with a smashed egg in his pocket?!'

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 14:24:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:24:30

farewell tis only tiny though, I mean really tiny and more round than oval.

I have no secret, 2 of my hens started laying at Christmas and haven't stopped. The third is a bit young yet.

I do spoil them though.

They have funky names too, Peck, Dave and Ironman.

I told the delivery driver that his egg was laid by Dave. Which actually probably just made it worse. I am hoping he knew that I meant Dave the hen and not some hairy bloke upstairs?

Oh shit.

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:25:53

Could have been worse I suppose. It could have been Ironman.

I am never ever going to get another Asda delivery.

Well, imagine, he could be fertilizing that egg right now! (if only he and your hen were fish)

I haven't time to read the thread but am absolutely wetting myself laughing at the OP... Hilarious grin

TrinityRhino Tue 21-Jan-14 14:29:43

snort

this is priceless

I can totally imagine you doing this

and telling him it was laid by Dave <creases up with laughter>

BigArea Tue 21-Jan-14 14:30:57

Darn, I seriously thought you might be my friend until you posted the chickens' names

TrinityRhino Tue 21-Jan-14 14:31:36

imagine the conversation with his partner later

'how was your day?'

'some weird woman gave me an egg. just one, no box and freaking tiny'

grin

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:31:59

Um yeah, I just assumed he would know I meant the hen.

blush

God what if he didn't know I even had hens? That egg is so small, he might not know what bloody animal it had come from! He's going to be too shit scared to do anything with it isn't he?

I once dreamt that my friend took his pants off, plumped his bottom into a river to lay an egg. (It was later fertilized by a passing eel, but I dont know what happened when it hatched)

His name was not Dave. It was Fredrik.

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:32:41

"she said Dave laid it?"

grin

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 21-Jan-14 14:32:46

Rhubarb, do you by any chance find yourself forgetting that your chickens are all girls?

My ds2 refuses to believe one of mine is a girl, because it lays blue eggs.

TrinityRhino Tue 21-Jan-14 14:33:42

'she said dave laid it' grin

perfect

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 14:35:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FuckingWankwings Tue 21-Jan-14 14:38:08

Dave the laying chicken <<snort> >tummy hurts>>

This thread is fucking ace, OP.

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 14:41:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:42:17

Look the kids named them ok! Ironman is ds' hen, Peck is dd's and Dave, I must admit, is mine.

Tunip no but I do refer to them as 'he' from time to time.

I honestly wasn't thinking properly. I just handed him the egg, told him that Dave had laid it that morning and when he protested that it would break I told him to shove it in his pocket.

I then tried to take one of the crates into the house, which he asked for back. I think I realised at that point that here was someone who clearly thought I was nuts so in my embarrassment I tried to steal the crate the shopping had come in.

It's not that bad though eh? I mean, he's hardly going to tell everyone about it which means that I'll now be on one of those delivery blacklists?

TrinityRhino Tue 21-Jan-14 14:42:50

he knows where you live
he might come back asking for more

grin

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 21-Jan-14 14:43:57

Don't worry about the names. Mine are all Jacqueline Wilson characters. Tracey Beaker is a right stroppy cow.

Tell us more about the egg. Was it so small it probably doesn't have a yolk? Does Dave lay eggs with good strong shells?

HorrorCow Tue 21-Jan-14 14:46:20

He probably thought you told him to put it in his pocket to keep it warm. He's expecting it to hatch, but he doesn't know what sort of animal Dave is. Since the egg is so small, he probably won't think chicken at all, but he'll be very worried about how the crazy egg lady will react when she finds out that the precious egg she gave him didn't hatch. Next week, when he sees your address on his round, he'll panic and stop by the pet shop on his way...

Rhubarb, next week, asda delivery man is going to show you his snake.

TrinityRhino Tue 21-Jan-14 14:47:17

horrorcow

snort, shake with laughter grin

babacoon Tue 21-Jan-14 14:47:57

this thread has made my day grin

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 21-Jan-14 14:48:00

LOL Horrorcow.

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 14:49:38

Horror blush he was quite nice looking though so hopefully he'll have a nice looking snake to show me grin

Tunip Dave is a Pekin and lays small brown eggs which are almost round. They are almost all yolk. Peck is our Polish hen and she lays bigger white eggs. Ironman is only about 22 weeks and hasn't started laying yet.

FuckingWankwings Tue 21-Jan-14 14:50:51

'Tell us more about the egg' has really made me laugh,for some reason.
Sounds a bit like 'Tell me more about your mother' with accompanying laced fingers and a gently concerned frown.

Em1503 Tue 21-Jan-14 14:50:55

Loving this!! grin Absolutely hilarious!! Dave laid it, brilliant!

ohhifruit Tue 21-Jan-14 14:53:43

I think he'll have to do some eggstensive and egghausting into his employment rights so he can talk to his manager about never delivering to your address eggain.

gamerchick Tue 21-Jan-14 14:54:38

Ahh you've given him a story to tell.. and he will tell it grin

springlamb Tue 21-Jan-14 15:06:18

I too am fighting the urge to give my eggs to all and sundry. That is, since the ducks started laying just after Xmas. I want the world to see and taste the wonder of an egg. Have even considered driving 60 miles to deliver some to my sister who I think would share my excitement.
My ducks are named after the owls of Harry Potter, although the one who was Hedwig yesterday may not be today's Hedwig.

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 21-Jan-14 15:07:06

That sounds like a lovely egg. Clever Dave!

pigletmania Tue 21-Jan-14 15:08:27

Oh dear, I think he would preferred a cream egg

FuckingWankwings Tue 21-Jan-14 15:10:31

'aDve is a Pekin and lays small brown eggs which are almost round. Peck is our Polish hen and she lays bigger white eggs. Ironman is only about 22 weeks and hasn't started laying yet.'

I'm a bit in love with all your chickens, OP! Could you put up a pic of them?

CatAmongThePigeons Tue 21-Jan-14 15:11:55

grin poor Asda driver, he probably is still bewildered.

Thank you, I needed this baffling laugh.

Alifelivedforwards Tue 21-Jan-14 15:13:58

I gave the Ocado driver a quail's egg <sniffs>

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 15:27:57

How the hell do you put pictures up?

Alifelivedforwards now that's just bragging!

WilsonFrickett Tue 21-Jan-14 15:30:14

I bet that scrambled his brain, ya weirdo!

grin

Hopefully, his next customer will gift him a piece of bacon.

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 15:39:37

Right henny pictures now up on profile. I'll try and pop an eggy picture in there too.

FuckingWankwings Tue 21-Jan-14 15:41:31

THEY'RE GORGEOUS!! But there are four, no? Two grey, one pale, one ginger. Has one gone to the Great Heavenly Henhouse? Sorry if so. Who is who?

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 15:44:50

Have labelled them now.

The speckled one was a cockerel who got rehomed. He was called Thor.

DameDeepRedBetty Tue 21-Jan-14 15:46:26
FuckingWankwings Tue 21-Jan-14 15:46:35

Dave's ginger! I luffs him. I want chickens.

HorrorCow Tue 21-Jan-14 15:50:30

A cockerel? So it might hatch then? He's going to have Thor's Chick hopping around inside his delivery van!

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 15:57:31

grin

I should do t-shirts featuring an egg and underneath the words "Laid by Dave"

Thank god I'm not the only crazy egg lady, I often have eggs that I've collected stuffed in my pockets that poor unsuspecting callers get thrust upon them grin

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 21-Jan-14 15:59:18

You lot are batty. I thrust eggs at people too, what self-respecting chicken owner doesn't, but IN BOXES!!!

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 16:09:52

Yeah well, they don't do boxes for single eggs do they?

It was a spur of the moment thing. I obviously didn't think about it! blush

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 16:39:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 16:46:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Balaboosta Tue 21-Jan-14 16:57:12

I want to be your friend, OP!

Cutiecat Tue 21-Jan-14 18:46:23

Brilliant. You sound lovely.

Recently I was given some very fresh eggs by an elderly neighbour and I insisted on giving her something for them. After much toing and froing she agreed to accept something to give to charity. We went on our way and then my little one let go of my hand and ran off . Obviously I dropped the whole box of eggs on the floor. I was gutted.

MisForMumNotMaid Tue 21-Jan-14 18:50:29

Wasn't there a thread yesterday about someone wondering how their DH had ended up with egg in his pocket?

LaGuardia Tue 21-Jan-14 18:53:19

You can give him a slice of bread next week to go with it confused

frugalfuzzpig Tue 21-Jan-14 18:59:48

Well this thread was well woeuf a read.

frugalfuzzpig Tue 21-Jan-14 19:02:18

I can't find the clip on YouTube but did anyone else instantly think of that bit in Friends where Ross gives his neighbour back the egg he'd borrowed grin

PoopPoooDeDooo Tue 21-Jan-14 19:22:06

grin grin grin grin grin

I am poorly sick overdue and fed up but this thread has had me crying with laughter! Thanks Rhubarb!smile

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 19:43:55

Yes well dh has just come home from work and I told him what I'd done thinking he'd back me up and say what a nice gesture it was.

He didn't.

He shook his head at me and gave me a funny look instead.

I do hope the egg made it safely and I've not just ruined the man's uniform.

MisForMumNotMaid someone read this thread and started another one today about their dp finding an egg in his pocket. grin

I've given Dave a special tickle under the chin. smile

SwimmingMom Tue 21-Jan-14 19:45:57

This is the best thread I've seen on MN - kindness to the point of hilarity! (And Dave!!!)

Thank you Rhubarb, I shall carry an empty eggbox just incase I run into you or maybe you've started a new trend here & nice people may start gifting eggs to other nice people! grin

THERhubarb Tue 21-Jan-14 19:52:13

What would be even better is if people just took an egg out of a shop bought eggbox and gifted that grin

I really do wonder if I should contact Asda though and try to explain my actions? I don't want the drivers to have notes about me, this is a regular delivery! Nor do I want them expecting an egg every time they turn up.

SpottyDottie Tue 21-Jan-14 20:07:09

Of course he will be telling others about you! grin

I think Dave is a great name for a chicken.

bragmatic Wed 22-Jan-14 06:24:01

I think his wife will suspect fowl play.

THERhubarb Wed 22-Jan-14 12:19:17

I'm sure he'll offer an eggsplanation bragmatic

Dave is laying another egg atm.

libra101 Fri 24-Jan-14 18:45:19

This thread is full of yolks!

Thoroughly enjoyed reading.

We also have two hens and a bantam, they lay the best free-range eggs ever, and everyone agrees that they taste much better than those bought in shops.

It was incredibly kind to give the driver an egg, a very nice gesture.

GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy Fri 24-Jan-14 20:12:21

This is the best thing I've read all day grin

I wouldn't give Asda a bell though Rhubarb. The drivers are told they aren't allowed to accept anything from customers, even a lovely if not a bit weeny single loose egg. If he has a twatty manager he could end up with a bit of a telling off.

flamingtoaster Fri 24-Jan-14 20:26:04

This thread has cracked me up.

Perhaps we should start a Mumsnet eggs-periment - everyone who has their groceries delivered gives the driver an egg and we see how long it takes to be mentioned in the press... Maybe you should have given it to him in a beaker ...

madrose Fri 24-Jan-14 20:27:59

op - just woke the DH by sniggering at this. Thank you - much need smiles.

lugwump Fri 24-Jan-14 20:40:40

EGG

Symbol of fertility.

Next time he delivers open the door in your shortie peignoir and ask him to carry the shopping into your bedroom.

MissPryde Fri 24-Jan-14 20:51:02

That was very kind of you, op. Not sure advising him to put it in his pocket was the best idea. Poor bloke is probably still waiting for it to hatch, carefully carrying it in his pocket on all his deliveries, so the poor wee snake chick stays cozy and warm.

He'll be all broken up about it when his chick never appears.

rabbitlady Fri 24-Jan-14 20:55:35

no, its a nice thing to do. give him an egg, a symbol of fertility and new life, a potential sandwich or an invitation to toast-soldiers. we should all give eggs. i'll try it on j. smiling at him makes him blush. i had thought of giving him my email address, but an egg is so much more... telling.

rabbitlady Fri 24-Jan-14 20:58:39

you are, of course, eggstraordinarily generous.
he might have found it a little eggcentric of you.
perhaps you favour your hen's produce above all others, being a little eggotistical about them.

sorry. i just became my dad for a few minutes there.

ovenbun Sun 26-Jan-14 17:22:54

Rhubarb I love you, you sound so sweet! Please name change to the egg lady xxx

ushiemama Sun 26-Jan-14 19:23:17

A Cadburys Creme Egg would have been a nice gesture ....On offer in Sainsburys' .... 3 for £1...Bargain.

Misspixietrix Sun 26-Jan-14 19:33:40

Im afraid you're forever known as egg lady now grin. Somewhere there's a bloke in the warehouses discussing with his colleagues if being given one single egg is a sign for something wink. I wonder what he did with it?

Misspixietrix Sun 26-Jan-14 19:35:03

lugwump grin.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 26-Jan-14 21:14:07

Is it possible he will think Dave is your DH?

PS WHAT was tombakersscarf posting that she wanted to be deleted? I'm eggs-tremely intrigued. Something inflammatory about chickens? Is s/he in fact the delivery man?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now