to think childminders should play with their mindees?

(132 Posts)
smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 13:04:49

My dd went to a childmindwe briefly a few years ago when she was three years old. She used to come home telling me she'd watched tv all day. I approached the cm about this who said that wasn't true. Dds behaviour alternated between being hyperactive and lethargic which fitted in better with dds version of her day and I switched to a nursery where dd was much happier.

I was at toddler group with my other dd this morning and saw the cm there. She works with her sister and they sat chatting for the entire three hours, only stopping to put the baby's dummy back in if he made a noise. When they were leaving I saw that they had 8 children with them! All of whom had been ignored throughout the group despite a couple having been hitting others and one that cried in the corner for most of it. A mum came in to drop a little girl off and cm made a big fuss of her in front of mum. Within thirty seconds of her leaving the little girl was plonked down crying and cm returned to her conversation, vaguely telling her to go and play every five mins or so.

Aibu to think cm's should play with their mindees and to be cross at this shit treatment of little children whose parents are paying for 'mother-like loving care' and being told what wonderful days they've had?

MrsGoslingWannabe Tue 21-Jan-14 13:14:28

Report her to OFSTED. Sounds awful.

pigletmania Tue 21-Jan-14 13:15:27

Yanbu this doe sent sound right, of course there should be some interaction and engaging the child in play

pigletmania Tue 21-Jan-14 13:16:19

Yes I agree with mrsGos, you would not expect nursery staff to do that, a CM is no different!

PedlarsSpanner Tue 21-Jan-14 13:18:24

Wowsers at a three hour toddler group

When mine were nippers two hours was standard

Fairylea Tue 21-Jan-14 13:21:56

Yanbu. Definitely report her to ofsted.

I'd be very upset if I left my dc with her not knowing that was what was going on.

Mim78 Tue 21-Jan-14 13:23:52

Sounds awful. You should report her.

Really gives me the creeps when I hear something like this as the parents are no doubt thinking their child has had a great time and has been cared for by the cm.

I've seen this lots of times at soft play etc - cms using it as a place to just chat to their mates and leaving the children to get on with it. Not moving off the sofas etc the entire time.

I've also seen a really good cm with kids at soft play (for balance) - engaging with children (it was only one or two) and generally acting like a good Mum would.

Inebriatededna Tue 21-Jan-14 13:26:11

Of course you should judge all childminders by that one person

My neighbour is a CM, she does loads with her mindees, they are always out in the forest, out on bikes, she has loads of stuff in the garden, trampoline, rope swing etc and she does loads of creative stuff with them, they have a very old dog who she and the mindees walk every day come rain or shine , it's her career and she's fab, wish I was her neighbour when mine were young!
I guess you get good and bad but I would report what you saw OP, I feel sorry for the kids

catkind Tue 21-Jan-14 13:28:17

Of course she shouldn't be behaving like that. Ofsted.

smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 13:33:11

We live

smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 13:33:27


haveyourselfashandy Tue 21-Jan-14 13:39:34

I've noticed this at my local soft play and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable watching it.There's a group of childminders who just let up to 15 kids aged between 1 and 4 run riot.Last week one of tho lo's pooed himself on the slide,I told the cm he was with,she did nothing and he smeared it EVERYWHERE.She left 2 mins later without changing him.Me and another lady cleaned the play area but most of the other kids had faeces on their clothing.I've not gone back and the owner has reported the cm but if I'm honest,nearly all the cm's ignore the children.phew sorry that was a rant but I've been thinking about that little boy since!

smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 13:40:26

Sorry phone went funny.

We live in a fairly small town and I've never seen a goodcchildminder here. One left a two year old mindee on the outside play area at a soft play place for the entire 1.5 hours my dd and I were out there without checking on him. Various others I've seen have been preoccupied by their phones/chatting to other childminders. I just think if they're aware they may be observed by prospective customers and are that lax, how crap is the care for the children when no-one is watching?

notso Tue 21-Jan-14 13:44:32

There's a couple of childminders who go to the toddler group I do. They are lovely. They have a chat like everyone else but they are very vigilant with the mindees too.
I would report them smuggler

ohhifruit Tue 21-Jan-14 13:45:13

It's the thought of her putting on a fuss of the child in front of the parents and then switching it off when they leave that gets me. It clearly signals she knows what the parents are expecting from her interaction wise because she is able to switch it on so quickly.

Katnisscupcake Tue 21-Jan-14 13:47:59

I would be shocked and upset to see that. We were very lucky with DD's CM. She was like a second Mum to DD and is now one of my very best friends. DD is at school but still goes to the CM for about 3 weeks a year in the holidays that between us DH and I can't cover with our own leave.

But I see the CM at least once a week and she always comes around early to read to DD before she goes to bed.

I'm hoping to become a CM at some point and will certainly use DD's CM as a role model!!

smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 13:51:53

I know, ohhh. It makes me feel sick. I hate that she's basically taking advantage of the childrens inability to tell their parents what happens. I'm so glad I believed my dd over her but bloody angry that she called her a liar.

LBsBongers Tue 21-Jan-14 13:54:57

I have seen many a CM not overly interacting with their mindees at playgroups. Often the children in their care seek to play we me.

As much as its eye opening to see this I can understand that from the CM view they are keeping mindee safe and offering entertainment.

They are not there as parents and I think that's what many people make the mistake of assuming that a CM will go flat out all day to provide a child with the same amount of interaction as a parent. Its a difficult job ( as many parents know hence they go back to work) to look after a child all day let alone several, imagine how emotionally and physically exhausting it would be to charge around playgroups all week.

As a mum of three who regularly attends playgroups seeing CM chatting to their CM friends is the norm.

haveyourselfashandy Tue 21-Jan-14 14:02:10

LBsBongers,agree,I wouldn't be able to do the job! It just seems that good cm's round here are very hard to come by.I understand they need a break too but I've seen them ignore small children who need the toilet,want a drink,they're hungry or just want abit of attention.It's hard to watch sometimes.They are horrible! I do know there are good cm's around but these are not.

fairylightsatchristmas Tue 21-Jan-14 14:02:23

our old CM was a bit like this. DS 's pre-school alerted to me to some less than ideal treatment of DS by her and how upset he was when she picked him up. Other friends told me they'd observed her at the toddler group just sitting and chatting for the whole time and when I used to go to it with my DD she would be there and was indeed, sitting on her bum throughout. Needless to say we moved DS and now both are happily settled with an utterly fab CM. I disagree with LBSBongers. You are paying the CM - who has to have professional qualification in EYFS to do more than just make sure the child doesn't come to harm. Of course its a hard job and I don't begrudge any CM a break and a chat at a group when she might be on her own with kids for the rest of the day but no interaction for the whole of a group and allowing mindees to be hurt / wet/ ignored etc is unacceptable.

smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 14:04:25

I think if cm's find children so draining they should find a different career. Those cm's today charge £4 p/h. That means they earned £96 during the duration of the toddler group and didn't get off their backsides once.

horsetowater Tue 21-Jan-14 14:06:14

Yes I agree a report to OFSTED but try to get some evidence, perhaps repeated times.

If there are a lot of children involved they will be earning heaps of cash for doing this, they really ought to be putting all of their energy into it.

smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 14:10:44

Her husband is registered too and they ferry a load of kids back after school, who watch tv all evening. They must earn a fortune between the three of them

rumbleinthrjungle Tue 21-Jan-14 14:12:17

Cms like these give the good ones a bad name who do work flat out all day. Many won't go to these kind of activities for just this reason and will tell you exactly what they think of the CMs who do so irresponsibly. When interviewing a CM with a view to considering him or her for your child a very good question to ask is do they go to groups/activities during the week.

LBsBongers Tue 21-Jan-14 14:14:04

To clarify I have never seen CM ignoring soiled / needing to toilet / upset children.

I don't think either that it's a mega bucks career choice

Onlymydogunderstandsme Tue 21-Jan-14 14:16:28

YANBU. My DS goes to a childminer and she is wonderful, does lots of messy play, has a theme that they learn about every month.

The main thing for me though is that DS loves going there and is very happy which I think reflects the way he is treated.

I would not be happy if I found out my DS was being treated this way, report to Ofstead as cm like this refleft badly on the brilliant ones.

smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 14:21:00

LBsBongers they're earning between £20-£36 p/h each. That's a pretty decent living in my book!

DirtieBertie Tue 21-Jan-14 14:21:56

They had 4 children each? I thought there was a limit of 3 pre-schoolers?

NickNacks Tue 21-Jan-14 14:25:22

I'd just like to point out that what I charge isn't what I earn.

But you're right in that his particular cm is shite.

Please don't tar all cms with the same brush though.

smuggler Tue 21-Jan-14 14:29:52

The husband is also registered and was in same building but not same room.

I mean no offense NickNacks and am sure there are great ones but I've yet to see any round here which makes me sad.

Electryone Tue 21-Jan-14 14:30:31

You seem to know rather a lot about their income! Its not a steady job at all, my DH is a fab childminder but you ae always relying on other people working for your own income, and circumstances can change at any point.Your title makes it look as if you have an agenda against all childminders based on a few.

elspethmcgillicuddy Tue 21-Jan-14 14:32:59

I agree you should report to ofsted. I was going to send ds1 to nursery but didn't get that good a vibe at a nursery I visited. I then went to a local toddler group and a woman I vaguely knew was there with her kids and mindees. I didn't know her well at all and I couldn't tell which ones were her own kids and which she was minding. She was cuddling a boy of about 18m and had another couple of kids coming up to her for hugs etc every so often. Turned out the 18m old was a mindee. I decided then and there to ditch nursery and was very lucky she had a space for my DS.

Just giving the pov that a) cm can be very very good and b) what you saw was not 'normal'

waterrat Wed 22-Jan-14 12:25:26

Our childminder is amazing - I hate it whn people knock childminding in general.

My current CM is absolutely amazing, during the holidays they do three days out a week (to zoo, museum, splash park etc) as well as going to the local park or playing in the garden with paddling pool etc on the other days, when it rains they put on wellies and go and jump in puddles in the woods. She does loads of creative stuff and ahve a 'craft day' each week, once a month is 'new book day' where she buys each child a new story book.

My previous CM however, was a different kettle of fish. DD was with her from age on, and by appearances she was great, however once DD was able to verbally communicate more, I discovered she spent most of her time sat on her arse watching IACGMOOH and TOWIE, we do not watch either of these at home so no way DD could ahve known what they were. She was feeding DD the same repetitive stuff over and over instead of encouraging her to try anything new (chicken and chips for tea 3-4 times a week!). I ended the contract, no way was I paying through the nose for that level of 'care'.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Wed 22-Jan-14 13:13:52

Yanbu. I see a childminder going round the supermarket each week. She ignores the children in the trolley totally. I am constantly talking to my little boy as we go round, pointing out the names of everything we pick up. Very sad to think the parents of these kids don't have a clue how grimly they are being treated.

LingDiLong Wed 22-Jan-14 13:16:11

It makes me so, so angry that there are childminders out there who give all of us a bad name. I spend so much time (and money!) playing with my mindees, taking them to various places and planning activities, it really pisses me off that people might be assuming that I'm sat on my arse doing nothing. I'm not sure what she's doing is 'reportable' but it's worth a try. It actually amazes me that so many people choose to use this kind of childminder though - if she behaves like this in public surely people know the kind of rubbish care she might be offering and are put off?!

TheNightIsDark Wed 22-Jan-14 13:25:01

confused DS2 is going to a childminder in June. I've not used one before but the nursery I work at don't take them before 2. She's doing after school care for DS1 as well.

She's been very open that it's a home environment. They will watch a bit of tv, do a bit of cooking, play with the toys etc but equally they go to groups, farm, zoo etc.

I shall go to our toddler group and see what she's like with her mindees.

LingDiLong Wed 22-Jan-14 13:27:44

TheNight, good idea. Ask around and see how many people know her and what they think of her. I'm very 'visible' we're always out and about so everyone knows of me and can see what I'm like with the kids. I also take lots of pictures of the kids which parents like, I imagine it's reassuring for them to see that we're really active.

LingDiLong Wed 22-Jan-14 13:29:19

Oh and despite what everyone says on this thread, this is NOT the norm where I live. I see lots of childminders and have got to know a few and they are all very active and involved with the children and play with them loads.

TheNightIsDark Wed 22-Jan-14 13:42:10

I see some outside the school he look bloody miserable all the time. Pick up the kids, don't say a word to them but gossip to their friends.

TheNightIsDark Wed 22-Jan-14 13:42:27

They not he blush

MPB Wed 22-Jan-14 13:45:36

There are degrees of letting kids get on with it at soft play/ toddler groups.

It's not healthy to hover over kids.
But I know what you mean. Some CM's do chat to their mates.

I go to a CM network and they all sit inside and the kids go outside (free flow) and usually it's just the student outside with the kids. I go out with mine though. Pisses me off as most of them are graded outstanding!!!

I am working today, but have typed this with a child sat on my back pretending I'm a horse! grin

Off to play now ...

LaGuardia Wed 22-Jan-14 14:07:26

I've noticed this at my local soft play and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable watching it.There's a group of childminders who just let up to 15 kids aged between 1 and 4 run riot.Last week one of tho lo's pooed himself on the slide,I told the cm he was with,she did nothing and he smeared it EVERYWHERE.She left 2 mins later without changing him.Me and another lady cleaned the play area but most of the other kids had faeces on their clothing.I've not gone back and the owner has reported the cm

Yet ANOTHER reason not to go to soft play confused

Mim78 Wed 22-Jan-14 14:28:10

They are not there as parents - I sort of think that a cm who is being paid to look after the children has less excuse for leaving the children to it than a knackered parent who might be at the soft play as their only break.

CaractacusPotts Wed 22-Jan-14 14:32:15

Oh look - a childminder bashing thread - what fun! hmm

I assume you judge all parents / teachers / plumbers / priests / Dr's by the example of the bad one too?

Normalisavariantofcrazy Wed 22-Jan-14 14:42:48

YANBU and I reported a childminder for this as well as other concerns and they had their ofsted registration removed

Normalisavariantofcrazy Wed 22-Jan-14 14:44:36

Didn't see it turned into a CM bashing thread, I didn't mean to bash!

Out of 5 childminders I've only reported 2, one was struck off the other has cause for concerns on her ofsted.

I love childminders though despite bad experiences

Nomorepeppapig Wed 22-Jan-14 14:50:15

God the cm's op is talking about sound awful. I would be so upset if I sent my child to them and I found this out. You should report them no question.
But some cm are great! My best friend is a brilliant one. If you find a good one I think it's so much better then a nursery.

EssexGurl Wed 22-Jan-14 14:51:09

A friend of mine years ago was told by her mum not to send her kids to daycare until they could tell her exactly what they did all day. For exactly those reasons. Mum was an ex-teacher and looked after all 3 of her GCs until they went to school. Lucky friend to have a mum that able/supportive. My kids went to nursery as no one to look after them. As someone else has said, there are good and bad. Or very bad.

arethereanyleftatall Wed 22-Jan-14 16:45:28

I think there is a massive difference between the good cms and the bad ones, and there's plenty of both types. Just be very very careful if ever you decide to employ a cm to look after your child!

HappyMummyOfOne Wed 22-Jan-14 17:03:44

Of course you should report if you have concerns, for the childrens and parents sake.

Its a huge trust to use a CM as with small children you have no idea what goes on all day and nobody can see. Its not something i could do, i'd have used a nursery instead if needed. At least their are other adults around to see whats going on and the child doesnt need to leave the premises. No tv watching, no housework or shopping, no surfing, no meeting friends and ignoring the children etc. I am sure there are some good minders but for many its purely a way of making money so they dont need to leave their own children.

There are a few at our school, a couple who are fantastic, one that looks blooming miserable all the time and one who seems late every day.

Its the same with any profession - you get good ones and bad ones.

TokenGirl1 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:20:13

That's how to tell if you've got a really good childminders. Before you hire them, go to local toddler groups and see how they really are with the kids. That'show I wheedled out the rubbish ones and found a fabulous one for my kids (plus she was highly recommended by a very good friend of mine). It surprises me how many of them sit around chatting and having coffee while the kids are hitting other kids or are in tears.

I'd report her. I'd also be tempted to collar the Mum dropping off after and suggest she sends a friend to watch the childminders behaviour after drop off.

MPB Wed 22-Jan-14 19:25:58

No shopping/ housework / surfing or TV?

I take my mindees shopping sometimes. I do small supermarket shops - for daily bits a bobs, whilst I'm out and about. I also go to retail parks etc if I need to collect something from Argos for example. I go to hobby craft/ B&M to get resources etc. this is with parents blessing of course, I wouldn't do it if they had a problem.

I do my washing, hang it out, polish, Hoover, sweep and mop, unload the dishwasher! This type of house keeping also goes in in a nursery you know whilst the children are there.

I surf the net on my phone when they sleep/ during quiet time. Or when I'm having a brew whilst they are playing.
I don't get a lunch hour, or indeed any time to myself between 8 and 5 (well 8 if you include my own kids)
I also do paperwork whilst they are here.

And we watch Mr. Tumble everyday.

Children do not need constant entertainment/ interaction. In fact it is better that they learn to play by themselves for short periods. they also need to know the world doesn't revolve around them. Because it doesn't you know.

Nurseries don't give constant attention either.

Mimishimi Fri 24-Jan-14 03:30:29

I disagree that you are paying a childminder for 'mother like care". That is an unfair expectation - wonderful if it happens but completely discretionary on the part of the CM. You are not paying them to neglect your child however - there is a world of difference between being a bit emotionally distant but responsible and not intervening at all in the event of fights, nappy accidents etc because you can't be bothered.

MiaowTheCat Fri 24-Jan-14 07:10:30

My brother was given his notice by a CM when we were kids as he was so demanding she wasn't getting time to wash her windows!

Most around here are pretty fantastic though that I see out and about - they have the kids at groups and soft play and similar but it's definitely not an unleash kids and ignore, or a helicopter the fuck out of them imbalance! The kids at the CM along the road from us are out and about more than my own.

WitchWay Fri 24-Jan-14 07:31:49

Sounds very poor care sad

My son's CM was brilliant - did all sorts with him - her own son was a similar age & she treated them the same.

WitchWay Fri 24-Jan-14 07:32:54

As for your 3yo saying she'd watched TV all day - sounds like she was telling the truth - most very small children are truthful to the point of bluntness

ilikebaking Fri 24-Jan-14 08:15:36

I am not sure actually, when I was working in a nursery we had a huge complaint from a parent whose 3 year ols said she had watched tv all day. In reality, all the children watched snippets of cartoons on the computer that were relevant to our current curriculum topic and we discussed it all afterwards and during, for about an hour in the afternoon. In the morning they had been on a nature ramble and baked shortbread, in the afternoon we were short staffed so needed contained activities and this kept them engaged after nap time before parents started arriving.

bodygoingsouth Fri 24-Jan-14 09:03:09

when I ran a childminding business the mindees were my top priority.

I didn't do toddler groups as don't like the politics but did soft play/park/rambles/farm/all the crafts you could imagine/ dancing/singing/cooking/gardening.

I was bloody fantastic to be honest. when I had to give up due to issues with my dd I was begged and I mean begged to continue. parents in tears, me in tears.

it was the best time of my life, playing all day with little ones and getting paid for it. fantastic.

Nancy66 Fri 24-Jan-14 09:59:58

I think most of them are like this.

MPB Sat 25-Jan-14 09:14:45

I detest toddler groups too.
And dislike the politics bitchy clique of the childminder network.

I go to soft play/ farms etc and people think that the children are my own.

moogy1a Sat 25-Jan-14 09:35:26

nancy that's not a sweeping statement at all, is it?
What's your job? Can I state that every person in the UK who does that job is really crap at it, including yourself.
If you are a SAHM would you be happy at me saying all SAHM s are crap?
What are you basing this nugget of wisdom on? Myself and all the CM's that I personally know do a fab job with lots of love and fun for mindees, 11 or 12 hour days and often for less than nmw.
What a horrible statement.

moogy1a Sat 25-Jan-14 09:37:59

As for your 3yo saying she'd watched TV all day - sounds like she was telling the truth - most very small children are truthful to the point of bluntness
ime small children often remember the most recent thing they did and will say that's what they've done all day.
If I have a lo till very late and spend the last 10 mins. tidying, they'll often tell mum they have spent all day sat watching tv while I put the toys away! ( very far from the truth!)

bodygoingsouth Sat 25-Jan-14 10:12:30

yes ALL childminders are crap and ignore the mindees.

ALl teachers hate their kids and are crap, all nurses are neglectful ALL lawyers are thieving blood suckers ( mmm) ALL coppers are bent and ALL politicians are liars.. ok the last one you can have. grin

bodygoingsouth Sat 25-Jan-14 10:15:42

MPB yep people though my 4 were my 4 too. used to get comments like oh how do you cope? the older 2 were the same age and looked like twins at 3 and I had a 2 year old and a baby. ( sibling variation approved by Ofstedin case posters start accusing me of over minding) grin happy days.

horsetowater Sat 25-Jan-14 10:28:17

Toddler groups are important for socialisation and prepares dcs for school and nursery. CMs don't need to helicopter their mindees, the whole point is for them to interact with their peers.

MrsGoslingWannabe Sat 25-Jan-14 10:35:09

Spot on MPB!

JockTamsonsBairns Sat 25-Jan-14 10:47:46

Not sure of the point of this thread. Some CM's are crap, some nurseries are crap, some parents are crap. Others are utterly brilliant. Some come in between. By all means, if you've seen something that concerns you, then report it, but don't judge all CM's on the basis of it. And please don't fall into the trap of thinking that nurseries are the holy grail of perfect childcare.

StinkyElfCheese Sat 25-Jan-14 11:08:48

Dh found a young boy under 1? in our kitchen last year the CM a few doors down had no clue as to where he was DH picked him up and tried to find out where he came from? I dread to think what could of happened to him if he had wandered in to a different house. I bet his parents had no clue he went 'missing' DH wasnt sure how long he was in our house he had left door open and was sorting bits out upstairs and only came down because of the crying...

bodygoingsouth Sat 25-Jan-14 11:19:27

HorseToWater not sure I agree with you in that one. as a mum of 4 and a cm for years I can say that nearly all of the worst behaviour was picked up at toddler groups.

small children do not in my view benefit from the free for all environment of these groups, they don't learn to share and play nicely at all while mums have a coffee and ignore.

for 3 onwards yes. younger no��

MrsGoslingWannabe Sat 25-Jan-14 11:21:23

Oh my goodness Stinky! That's shocking.

Littlefish Sat 25-Jan-14 11:21:57

What an offensive thread title smuggler. You are talking about one specific case and making a ridiculous generalisation.

There are many wonderful childminders, just as there are many committed teachers, sympathetic GPs, skilled nurses, meticulous solicitors etc. etc. etc. of course there are some people in every profession who are not as good as others, and childminding is no different but your title simply invites people to criticise an entire profession.

Your thread title is horrible, disrespectful and inflammatory.

bodygoingsouth Sat 25-Jan-14 11:24:49

quite right LittleFish op do you own a nursery by any chance?

bodygoingsouth Sat 25-Jan-14 11:34:11

Stinky what's your point? yes that's neglect and should be reported. just like any other professions all have bad apples.

pointless story really as it just refers to one person not child minders per se.

BrandNewIggi Sat 25-Jan-14 11:36:17

It is not very nice to think that you really don't know what is happening with your lo all day (especially before they can talk) - this thread certainly feeds on that fear!
I am surprised that a cm is saying she does her housework while working - I can see all cleaning relating to the dcs being there (floors, surfaces) and shopping can be the only outing available on a wet day. But not sure why your mindees are paying for you to do your laundry.

Tanith Sat 25-Jan-14 11:37:40

Bodygoingsouth, I was actually wondering if this had anything to do with the report on Childminder Agencies yesterday, but maybe I'm cynical grin

LydiaLunches Sat 25-Jan-14 11:51:39

My childminder is amazing and imaginative, I gojng her at a playgroup, had to have a temporary one briefly who was also ace. I know lots of sahms and part time wohms who would pass on any concerns, it is a very visible occupation. One friend took me aside to say that she saw her shopping, she had actually asked permission but I assumed she did things like that with them anyway. She must to housework as the house is immaculate.

ReputableBiscuit Sat 25-Jan-14 13:14:14

I was at a toddler group when my DD was tiny and two CMs (one a spirited wee girl's current minder and one her previous minder) spent the session slagging her off. A two-year-old. It made me really sad to think that this girl's mum unwittingly left her child with a succession of minders who really didn't like her.

OTOH, I know plenty of lovely, attentive CMs.

MPB Sat 25-Jan-14 14:05:35


You object to doing laundry? It's a 10 minute job if that to hang it out, whilst the children occupy themselves (with carefully planned and thought out activities I might add).

It is a home from home environment. I put a load in and hang it out to dry, I don't then get it in iron it fold it and put it away whilst they are here you know.

I hate this attitude I pay you so you must do X,Y & Z attitude which always comes up on these CM bashing threads.

LingDiLong Sat 25-Jan-14 14:11:04

Yes quickly chucking a bit of washing in the tumble dryer is probably the only non-childminding related housework I ever do when I'm working. Takes all of 2 or 3 minutes and in fact the kids all want to help me anyway!

icclemunchy Sat 25-Jan-14 14:33:55

My DD thinks it's amazing my cm hangs out washing and let's her help. She's always asking me to put it on the line rather than the dryer!!

There's good cms and bad ones. I'm lucky mine is amazing but then I wouldn't dream of sending her to the local nursery. Doesn't mean every nursery is terrible!

BrandNewIggi Sat 25-Jan-14 15:24:01

I think if you can fit it in without any detriment to the care provided to the minders, then that's fine. But it's not the same as being at home with your own dcs, is it? I would expect most chores (again, not relating to the children's needs/mess) to happen in the evening, as other employed people have to do. Obviously as you can't get the same breaks that other jobs offer, that needs to be factored in.

Tanith Sat 25-Jan-14 15:43:19

The evening is when we do paperwork, planning, accounts, training and childminding meetings. Some of us do home visits and meet up with parents to go through contracts.

It always makes me smile when people insist that childminders shouldn't be doing housework while the children are there. You know, on the childcare threads, the question nanny and au pair employers often ask is how much housework can be expected out of them!

LauraStora Sat 25-Jan-14 15:44:54

Surely it is the same as being at home with your DCs? When I'm at home with my DCs, i certainly do laundry chores - and i would never object to a CM doing them too.

MPB Sat 25-Jan-14 15:55:36

Expect what you want love!

Children seeing everyday chores being done is not detrimental.

I do my big sort out and clean on a Friday when I have 6 blissful school hours to myself. it was spent shopping and in Wetherspoons this week though

But in the week I do breakfast Pots/ lunch/ tea pots unload dishwasher, put washer on, Hoover, sweep, mop floors, clean surfaces, dust/ polish, wipe sinks down As required.

Part of my job is ensuring my house is tidy, clean and hazard free. If I didn't do house keeping on a daily basis in minding hours no one would want to leave their children here. They'd be starting CM bashing threads about what a slattern I was and how they don't want to leave their kids with a tramp like me.

And I'm damned if I'm doing it all on an evening. After all the 6 kids extra a day is why my house is so freaking messy/ dirty in the first place. I had no idea how much more mess there would be! And you cannot compare it to a family's chores who are out the house 8-6.

RedHelenB Sat 25-Jan-14 16:00:58

Think the clue is in the title - they are there to "mind" , Personally, I can't get over the fact that parents leave someone with a childminder without checking them out. There are 2 local ones I wouldn't use because they are disinterested in the children but they do "mind" their charges.

Just a tip - go & do spot visits when you are choosing a childminder, pick your child up early one day.

MPB Sat 25-Jan-14 16:07:51

My parents have all checked me out. I'm mainly recommended by their family/ friends and they do check up on me.

I think some people are quite naive about the level of care their children receive in nurseries especially private ones, nursery nurses do a lot of housekeeping and admin whilst children are there. When else would it get done? And general house keeping needs doing as a matter of safety.

BrandNewIggi Sat 25-Jan-14 17:33:49

"love"?! I hope you are not so patronising to the parents of the children you mind!

I think it is disingenuous to suggest that all housework is related to the mindees. It is surely the case that some of the house is not used for work purposes anyway. So, cleaning the kitchen after lunch - absolutely necessary for the job. Cleaning the upstairs bathroom and ironing your children's school uniforms - I think would be unfair. And I doubt many cms would dream of doing those things, but as in any job, you get those who take the piss (not thinking of any colleagues here oh no).

moogy1a Sat 25-Jan-14 18:03:59

I doubt very much that any cm irons whilst cm' ing. Have you ever looked after 3 under 3 year olds all day? Ironing is not a task to be attempted under those circumstances.
Hanging a few items in wardrobes whilst little ones are engaged in playing is fine though and I struggle to understand anyone who would object.
A lot of cm time is pent in active participation and adult led activities, a lot is child led and independent play whilst the cm observes and !maybe makes notes for assessments and the rest of the time is independent play where no adult input is needed or wanted. Rather than stare at a wall I prefer to quickly get a couple of things done.

penguinsforever Sat 25-Jan-14 18:11:03

My child goes to a wonderful childminder, she takes hermindees out, reads, sings and plays. Its like one big happy family.

You should report the bad cm though, that's not on, poor children.

morethanpotatoprints Sat 25-Jan-14 18:12:23

Unfortnately, there are more of these than there are good ones.
Anybody can be a child minder if they tick all the boxes, literally.
There were several documentaries about nurseries a few years ago, the Panorama under cover report, it was awful what happened in some of them.
I know what you mean about making a fuss whilst mum is there I used to see this all the time when I volunteered in nurseries.
I think you have to go with your gut feeling and trust them to do a good job, if you have no choice.

moogy1a Sat 25-Jan-14 18:20:05

There are more of these than there are good ones.
Can I ask what you are basing this on? Personal experience? Observations of a few thousand cms? Ofsted inspection reports? Or maybe just your I'll informed opinion?

Mishmashfamily Sat 25-Jan-14 18:20:14

YANBU I met a CM at a mutual friends and was thinking of leaving dd with her while I did done training .

We met up at a play group while she had an 18 month in her care. She left him in a shitty nappy till every one smelt there own dc and said ' nope, not mine it's got to be yours' she then begrudgingly took him to change him.

Then whilst sat on the mat her two year and half year old came over and bashed the little one over the head with a train while he was sat playing nicely. He obviously started crying and CM just said " did you have to do it on his head?" shock [ shock] she picked the little one up and rubbed his head then. sad her two year old just wandered off.....

Needless to say it has really put me of using CM or nursery

Oh I do love a good childminder bashing thread!

I don't do housework
I rarely go to toddler groups ( and when I do I am more often on the floor with my little ones)
I don't earn mega bucks ( last tax assessment showed £10000 for a 45 hour week)

I have seen great minders and terrible minders. I have seen ace nursing and god awful nursing. I have experience of fab teachers and totally useless teachers.

Good and bad in every profession....

moogy1a Sat 25-Jan-14 18:28:55

I don't get it?
Her son hurt the minded so she rubbed him better? And your problem with that is?
And she didn't immediately know her minded had poor but when she realised she changed his nappy? I' m confused. Should she not have changed him? Should she invest in nasal training?

MPB Sat 25-Jan-14 18:29:35

Brandnew of course not.

moogy1a Sat 25-Jan-14 18:33:08

* morethan*
Do you know we are inspected before registration, after registration within six months then inspected with the same regularity as nurseries and schools.
Its not just box ticking that anyone can do.
You fail the pre registration inspection you cannot be a childminders.
Are you in a different country that doesn't have the same rigorous inspection assessment regime as England?

MPB Sat 25-Jan-14 18:33:16

And I'm not suggesting all the bloody housework is related to mindees. But it needs doing so as not to affect their care. And it's easier to keep on top of it through the day surely?
I only do upstairs if they are asleep.

Mishmashfamily Sat 25-Jan-14 18:39:20

mog I'm frazzled and didn't explain it well...

He was sat on her knee so she must have know it was him. I could smell it from the other side .

When he son bashed him on the head , there was no reprimand , no ' that's a naughty thing to do,it hurts' just a dead pan ' did you have to do it on the head' . Would it have been ok bashing him on his arm,chest , leg?

Yep she did rub his head.

Did my post merit an arsy response ?

wineoclocktimeyet Sat 25-Jan-14 18:40:59

As I used to go to lots of toddler groups when DS's were little I've observed a number of local CM's, some of whom were fantastic and some I wouldn't leave a goldfish with!

Mishmashfamily Sat 25-Jan-14 18:41:21

Oh I have just scrolled up....your attacking lots of posters...

moogy1a Sat 25-Jan-14 18:45:39

Yes it did. :-D I get so fed up op putting my all into a profession that gets slagged off disproportionally on here. I know lots of it is because people can feel insecure about leaving their children and some sahm can be judgy about all childcare but it really pisss me off. My minders are so loved and have so much fun. Their patents are ridiculously happy with how I look after them and all I read on here is how white all cms are and we just plonk them in front of the TV whilst taking in a fortune.
No other job seems to be do hated here.
I have a feeling some of it is resentment as people pay money to us for what they would like to be doing for themselves.

moogy1a Sat 25-Jan-14 18:46:03

Shite not white!!

kitchensinkmum Sat 25-Jan-14 18:46:18

Some childminders are mary poppins and some terrible, with everything in between. I have see parents ignoring their children at toddler groups while the child goes rampaging and causing chaos while parent simply does not see it. I think it's unfair to start a trad on bad childminders . There are some amazing ones in our village .
We have bad teachers too along with some terrible nurseries. Thankfully though , most people who work with children actually love their job and do their best

kitchensinkmum Sat 25-Jan-14 18:50:09

Childminders need a break too. If there is chance to have a sit down and a cuppa at a toddler group while the children are happy what's the problem.
I'm not a childminder but can imagine what it would be like to have no tea break or lunch break all day.
Previous poster could be right about the payment thing .
It drives me mad how the media is always banging on about the coat of childcare

thegreylady Sat 25-Jan-14 18:51:41

Our cm is wonderful. She has had dgc from being 6 months old so 7 years now. She and I have shared the care and I have been to her home. My dgc are school age now but cm does two pickups a week. The dgc tell me about country walks, baking cakes, bottle feeding lambs etc. when she is there to pick up her mindees run to her shouting her name. She once challenged the older ones to a garden water pistol fight with them against her. She lives on a farm and was a nanny before she married. Every child deserves a R** if Mum has to work.

LingDiLong Sat 25-Jan-14 19:41:11

It really is hard reading on here how crap all childminders supposedly are...that anyone could do our job, that we have no right to do anything except hover constantly over all the children in our care. Oh and yet we still apparently charge too much.

Let me tell you that actually no, this isn't a job anyone can do. I've done loads of jobs in my time and childminding is far and away the hardest work. I put my heart and soul into it too, I work 50 hours day with no break and that's not counting the extra time I put in on planning, my childcare qualification and other CPD as well as paperwork etc. If I were shit believe me the parents would soon find out. The kids I look after are all verbal enough to tell their parents what they do with me, I'm in a small community and everyone would soon see if I were neglecting the kids at playgroups.

Consider this too, parents are actually complicit sometimes in the shit care of their kids. As I've said in another thread on here, I've had parents literally just drop their kids off to start with me without even a full conversation with me, let alone checking my qualifications and policies. They got lucky in that the care I offer is exceptional. It could have so easily been different. Maybe the parents of the kids you see with these supposedly crap childminders don't actually care enough to find quality childcare, they've gone with the cheapest, easiest option without bothering to check out properly what they're getting into. I find it hard to believe that people who are so visibly crap at childminding are managing to pull the wool over parent's eyes.

kitchensinkmum Sat 25-Jan-14 19:55:09

Well said LingDi . I'm pro childminders and think they deserve more credit.
Childcare gets bad press it's time it got more positive comments.

kitchensinkmum Sat 25-Jan-14 19:59:21

Everyone is always banging on that childcare should be cheaper. If you want someone who is caring and intelligent to have your child then it needs to cost more. In my humble opinion if it's the cheapest it might not be the best.
A lady in our village told me she works 80 hours a week childminding, she starts early and finishes late sometimes working Saturdays too.

coco44 Sat 25-Jan-14 20:10:44

ok well firstly I would say the point of taking the kids to the toddler group is for them to play with other children and when my Dsis studied childcare they were discouraged from playing with the children (because of influencing what they were doing rather than it being child led) instead they should be facilitating play opportunities which is *exactly what they are doing by taking them to a toddler group
Secondly the point of a cm is that the child is fitting in with the workings of a household not living in some weird pre-school bubble with topics and themes

MPB Sat 25-Jan-14 20:47:29


I'm caring and intelligent and a childminder shock (I am paid a pittance though.)

Did you mean your post to come across that way?grin

Loads of CM do topics drives me bloody mad, they think they're teachers! We've been told not to do topics and everything should be based around a child's interests. And things should've 80% child led.

My auntie was a CM 20 years ago, had one box of toys, the kids watched videos and slotted into Aunt F's routine and they all ended up going to uni! And were loved to bits.

We massively over think it these days. Guilt about working and not being able to be home for little Johnny?

As long as they are safe warm, stimulated, cuddled and loved its all they need. They are at school until 18!

kitchensinkmum Sat 25-Jan-14 22:54:00

M, I agree . You should be paid more . Childminders are usually mums too and offer something special to a cared for child, by taking them into their home and including them in another family .
I know some great childminders. I think they are expected to offer a lot for very little money in return. My point was not to knock childminders at all. Apologies if it sounded like this .
I was pointing out how everyone seems to moan about the cost of child care.
Children don't need structured play all day long, observations and targets do they .

MPB Sat 25-Jan-14 23:38:35

I knew what you meant.

No they don't need all that stuff. Some CM make into a competition though and compete to be so absolutely blumming fantastic mini teachers. When all some parents want is a warm happy home and a cuddly CM to look after their little people.

I am looking after a little one, and the only reason she is with me is because one of her GP's has cancer. All her Mum wanted was for her to be looked after by a nice warm cuddly person. I offered to go through the EYFS/ planning side if things and she she put her hand up and 'no I don't care about all that, I just want you to look after her for me'

bodygoingsouth Sun 26-Jan-14 00:05:03

hi tanith so missing the cm board. may need to start up again now dd is so much better.

hope you are doing good xx

Pilgit Sun 26-Jan-14 00:14:49

I used to go to a playgroup and I couldn't tell which were child minders and which were parents. But you get good and bad in every profession!

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 26-Jan-14 00:38:33

If its wrong to have a thread about a childminder whose a bit crap, does that also apply to every single type of job?

if your a good childminder then you are obviously not the childminder being talked about.

Every single job has piss poor people doing them just as it has wonderful people doing them and everything in between.

There is nothing at all wrong with openly talking about bad ones, be cross at the ones you think are giving you a bad name not the people who talk about them.

Mellowandfruitful Sun 26-Jan-14 00:51:56

There are good nurseries and bad nurseries, good childminders and bad childminders - as in every job, as Sock says above. Pointless and misleading to generalise. (I went for nursery btw but think childminders do a tough job.)

For the posters a way back saying CMs shouldn't do housework during the day, I hope none of them while at work have ever done their online banking, made a personal phone call/email, bought something on Amazon, stopped for a chat with a colleague, or done any of the other things that grease the wheels of daily life without stopping them getting their overall aims for that day met.

AbbyLou Sun 26-Jan-14 08:42:25

My children's care is split between two childminders who are best friends. The complicated arrangement goes back to when they were babies and one couldn't have them all the time so they worked out an arrangement between themselves to work for me. They are both wonderful and treat all the children in their care like their own. They do so many things I could not even begin to list them on here. My dc are 9 and 6 now and both obviously at school. However, they love the things they do before and after school and especially love INSET days when they get to go out for the day! I am a teacher at dd's school and the juniors ds goes to is next door so we often have the same INSET days. It is great for me to know that while I'm at work they are having a ball!
I have never ever questioned my choice of childminders and my dc have absolutely flourished in their care.

Snugglepiggy Sun 26-Jan-14 10:10:01

Well I never used a CM when my children were small but bet there are some brilliant ones out there.However I wonder what Ofsted would have thought of a former CM near me who took her mindees out daily for a walk with her dogs to a local beauty spot and after befriending my DH who was walking dogs,several, went out of her way daily to be there and 'bumping' into him at that sane time each day however filthy and foul the weather and during her working hours when they were in her care was sending him multiple texts that became sexually explicit.Dont imagine she put that in her risk assessment.Of course my DH was a plonker to encourage and reciprocate but that's another issue for a different thread.But have often wondered what her clients would have thought of her ' priorities' even if she was playing with them the rest of the day .Just a thought I have often had.

moogy1a Sun 26-Jan-14 10:17:38

Was she showing the text to the kid? Hard to see the danger to mindees if not. Think you might not like this person for a host of other more personal reasons!!

Tanith Sun 26-Jan-14 10:50:18

The trouble is, Sock, that these threads throw up so many negative stories about people perceived as being childminders.
Some are not. They may be parents looking after each other's kids, they may be nannies, they may be illegal childminders.
Then you get the anti-childminder posters jumping at the chance to do a bit more mudslinging, hence the moans about us doing housework.

Then there's the naive "this is why I use a nursery because it's safer" comments.

If we were to ignore these comments instead of challenging them, people who don't know much about childminders would be left with the impression that we're the same.

Tanith Sun 26-Jan-14 10:51:20

Hi Body! <waves>
So glad she's recovering well. Are you on the move then?

OpalQuartz Sun 26-Jan-14 11:47:39

It's interesting to compare this thread to the one about the mum at a toddler group who had an 18 month old who wanted to sit on the mum's lap as she wasn't confident enough to go off and play, so the mum decided to go cold turkey, by blanking her the entire 2.5 hours despite the baby getting extremely distressed to the point she was banging her head on the floor. The mum didn't give any appearance of being at the end of her tether, but most people replied to tell the OP off for being judgy. I'm not a CM, but it does seem that CMs are judged quite harshly in comparison.

BrandNewIggi Sun 26-Jan-14 11:52:59

You can post about housework without being anti-childminder you know! I use a childminder. It is possible to discuss certain aspects of a job without meaning you hold the whole thing in disregard. It wouldn't have occurred to me that housework was an issue if others hadn't brought it up.
And no, I wouldn't do online banking etc when at work, unless on a break. I'm not paid for that. As cm don't get breaks in the same way, obviously there is a need for more flexibility in their day to make up for this.

MPB Sun 26-Jan-14 12:06:44

There does needs to be flexibility and understanding. And I am so very very lucky that my parents understand I need to do things in the day.

I think they understand how tedious the job can be stuck in the house / trudging between toddlers/ school so don't mind me doing some day to day stuff. After all that's why many if them went back to work.
In some ways it is even more tedious as I don't have the freedom to dump them in a pram and bog off to Meadowhall like I did with my own!

Some like us to mimic daily life others prefer a nursery type childminder.
Each to their own.

I have never ever ignored my mindees at groups. I wouldn't do it.
Besides there's that many judgey pants people I wouldn't get away with it! wink

Tanith Sun 26-Jan-14 12:15:12

Of course you can, Iggi. There are, however, posters on this thread who appear on every similar thread solely to put the boot in.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 26-Jan-14 12:40:21


No they really wouldn't. Everybody other than really very stupid people knows that there is good and bad in every job.

kitchensinkmum Sun 26-Jan-14 19:27:17

I totally agree. Being with a childminder should be the same as being with your own mother . Just the same.
I don't see why a CM can't hang her washing out while children play in the garden . How many other jobs are there where your house trashed for 12 hours a day
And for as little as £4 per hour per child.
Childminders are expected to be teachers but without the training, the pay, the long holidays and the respect.
Plus adults shouldn't play with children all day long, or they will never develop an imagination, or learn to risk take. The world has gone crazy on my humble opinion.

HappyMummy93 Sat 16-Aug-14 18:42:33

Hi, I know this is a really old thread but could you possible tell me what mindees means. I had some photos done of my son and the photographer put them on her fb page... Somebody has commented on it tagging someone saying isn't this one of your mindees? The person replied saying "no :/" I've tried asking them but no reply. Don't mean to sound like a crazy mum but it's bugging me and nothing comes up on google when I type it in. Any help would be amazing thanks!

ConcreteElephant Sat 16-Aug-14 18:50:09

Mindees are the children that are looked after by the childminder.

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