to think it's odd that a child without SN...

(91 Posts)
CheerfulYank Tue 21-Jan-14 01:31:43

who is 3 years and 4 months old, still sleeps in a crib and eats in high chair?

MissPryde Tue 21-Jan-14 01:36:35

I'm surprised he fits, if he's not sn and it isn't a specially made crib and high chair. I don't know any children of that age that could fit comfortably in a crib or at all in a high chair.

CheerfulYank Tue 21-Jan-14 01:38:15

She fits, but it doesn't seem comfortable! She seems normal size for her age to me.

LoopyLobster Tue 21-Jan-14 01:38:46

Do you mean a cot or a crib,

Bogeyface Tue 21-Jan-14 01:39:24

Depends. Cot beds are bigger and if DD1 is anything to go by, some toddlers hate leaving the safety of their cots to a big scarey bed.

Also, many high chairs are made to be adaptable from 6 months up to 4/5 years. So the tray comes off and they are literally high chairs, chairs high enough to be used at the table.

If the child is happy and there is no evidence of abuse or neglect then tbh I am wondering why you care!

LoopyLobster Tue 21-Jan-14 01:40:04

Ps my DD age 4 can still fit in her sister 's high chair and cot bed

CouthyMow Tue 21-Jan-14 01:40:12

Mmm...a little. Even my DC's with SN's weren't in a crib (I assume that means cot, not swinging crib as I first thought, which hurt my brain as I tried to figure out how you would fold a 3yo into one...) or highchair at that age, except one, and he is the one with the most SN's.

The one of mine that came out of a cot and highchair at the oldest age was DS2 and he was <<racks brain back in time>> 3y6mo for the cot (it was easier to tip the end of the cot up for his respiratory issues) and the highchair at around 3y2mo when it broke with him in! blush (He wasn't mobile so was quite heavy at that point. He's a skinny malinky now)

And he wasn't able to sit up unaided until he was 2y6mo, so it wasn't a stretch that he was in a highchair for a while after.

But for an NT DC, I would raise an eyebrow, for sure.

DS3 is 3yo on Friday. He was out of a cot at 11mo as it was too dangerous, as he was throw ing himself out of it. A toddler bed with the cot mattress on the floor was safer for him. Ditto the highchair at 16mo. And he's NOT NT.

CheerfulYank Tue 21-Jan-14 01:40:32

I haven't seen her in her crib in ages so not actually sure of the fit there. I know she does still sleep in it though.

LoopyLobster Tue 21-Jan-14 01:42:02

Actual crib? Are you sure?

SavoyCabbage Tue 21-Jan-14 01:42:32

An actual crib?

And what kind of high chair? One with a plastic tray and what not or a chair like these

CheerfulYank Tue 21-Jan-14 01:45:24

I'm an American so to me a cot is an Army or camping type thing! smile I mean a crib like this

Bogey the high chair has not been adapted and is used with a tray. I don't "care", as in I would never say anything to the mother, I don't lie awake thinking about it, etc. I really am wondering if I am BU to think it's odd. That's why I "care".

HeartShapedBox Tue 21-Jan-14 01:49:22

hmm. it depends, really.

my ds is 3 yrs 4 months, doesn't have anything "babyish", slept in single bed from 17 months old, for example.

neighbours child is 3 yrs 9 months and has a dummy, baby bottle, uses highchair ( can see into their living room from mine without trying) and uses a buggy ( ie gets put in buggy, wheeled out to car and strapped into car seat, buggy folded and put in boot, reverse it for when they come home. from car to front door is perhaps 7 foot, maybe 8 at a push)

however, my ds is the eldest of 3 ( other two are 17 months and almost 12 weeks so I'm using a double buggy for them etc) and neighbours kid is an only.

maybe only children get babied that wee bit longer?

for instance, my eldest had a dummy/ bottle til 2 (so until middle dc was about 5 weeks old- middle dc came off baby bottle just before first birthday) and used a buggy til I was about 3/4 months pregnant with dc3

uselessinformation Tue 21-Jan-14 01:49:29

Ds in cot until 3yr 4 mths (never tried to climb out) and high chair until 3yr 6mths (no sn).

SavoyCabbage Tue 21-Jan-14 01:52:16

Ok, well I don't think it's that weird to sleep in a cot. My dd was just a bit younger than that when she went into a bed and that was because we were having dd2.

I don't get it when people do things early. My neighbour put her carseat in when she was a couple of months pregnant and bought a baby walker when the baby was two months ole etc. I don't understand that. Always going on to the next stage rather than enjoying the one you are in.

Both my dds still use their Tripp trapp chairs and my oldest is 10.

CheerfulYank Tue 21-Jan-14 01:54:57

Savoy I don't think people should do things "early" or push either. I whole heartedly agree with enjoying the stage they're's just to me, my first thought was that they aren't in the baby stage anymore.

But it looks like it's not so odd after all. smile Thanks for the replies!

CouthyMow Tue 21-Jan-14 02:16:18

Not that odd then. I never pushed my DC's to the next stage, but they each moved on when it was the right time for them.

DS3 was moved out of a cot and highchair far earlier than I would have liked, but it was purely for safety reasons. You can't tie him down or hem him in! He sits perfectly well on a dining chair, and has done since we got rid of the highchair.

I suspect that that is because he knows that he can get down, should he want to, yet in a highchair, the straps seem to instantly say to him that he can't get down.

He's the same with his bed - if I had known sooner that the reason he NEVER slept in it, and either co slept or climbed out to co sleep was because he detested the 'hemmed in' feeling of the bars, I would gave put him in a bed sooner!

From his first night in his bed, he doesn't get out of it until he wakes in the morning.

Contrary bugger, my DS3! grin

I reckon he will be slightly claustrophobic tbh. Never felt the need to test this yet...

ebwy Tue 21-Jan-14 02:32:50

My three and a half year old is on the large side but has been known to put himself into his little brother's cheap Ikea high chair. He fits.

He doesn't fit in the cot though. And there are a few 4 year olds at nursery who are collected from the school in a buggy with dummy (at that age, if they do still use one make it an at home thing - 35 years later and I still remember which kid still had a dummy in nursery because he had the mickey taken a lot about it in the following years

MrRected Tue 21-Jan-14 02:43:47

Yes it is a bit odd. My DS1 started in uniformed school at 3y7 months (overseas)...

All of mine were out of cots at 18 months and had finished with the high chair by then too.

Ozziegirly Tue 21-Jan-14 02:50:17

My DS (3.5) sleeps in a cot bed (cot with sides taken off) but there's no way he's fit in a high chair and he has eschewed the pram since he was younger than 2.

However, they are unlikely to be in a cot at 15 so it's not that much of a worry surely?

CheerfulYank Tue 21-Jan-14 03:15:24

The sides are on, Ozzie. I know lots of kids that age whose parents took the sides off and converted it into a toddler bed.

No, it's not that much a of a worry...not a worry at all actually. smile It's just that every time I see it I think "hmm" so I wondered if I was odd to think it was odd! I didn't want to ask anyone IRL (mother is a friend) so thought I'd ask here.

HeartShapedBox Tue 21-Jan-14 03:26:23

have you asked the mum why child's still in cot/ highchair ? not in a judgey wAy, just conversationally?

CheerfulYank Tue 21-Jan-14 04:28:20

Not really, this friend is pretty defensive as a whole.

Her dd was going to stay with me next month for a few days (not going to happen now) and she mentioned she would bring the pack n play (that's what we call it, like a play pen type thing) for her to sleep in. Her dd would be pretty much three and a half by then so I just said "oh no worries, I'll just put her in our toddler bed." And she said "oh I never thought of that" or something along those lines.

She has said in the past that she doesn't know how to convert the crib so she just leaves it.

Overall she and her DH do seem to think that dd is younger than she actually is, IYKWIM? like they discuss her in front of dd herself like you would a much younger child who didn't understand what you were saying.

She is an only, though, so that sort of makes sense. My friend is having another baby in September and I think once she does, her dd will seem so much older.

cory Tue 21-Jan-14 08:13:33

Could it be undiagnosed SN that the mother is responding to? On the two occasions when I have put my judgey pants on and been convinced that the parents are babying their child, same child has later been diagnosed as autistic- the parents were simply responding to something about their child even though they didn't know what it was.

A bit like my friends thought I was babying 4yo dd when I let her ride her on my shoulders on days out. I just knew she couldn't do what the others could, though it was another 4 years before her joint disorder was diagnosed.

That's a good point, Cory.

SlightlyTerrified Tue 21-Jan-14 08:49:10

The cot thing is only odd as it is not the 'norm' I guess. If it is easier to leave the sides on the cot then it doesn't matter I suppose but TBH once my DCs were in normal beds holidays and staying out was much easier. There is also only a 2 year gap between them so I needed the cot.

I wouldn't have let my children after about 2 YO use a highchair as I think it is important they learn how to sit at the table and eat properly without getting down etc, sometimes we had a booster seat or a cushion for height reasons but not something that strapped them in.

MiaowTheCat Tue 21-Jan-14 08:53:53

Our eldest still sleeps in a travel cot while we're away at other people's houses - she's in a toddler bed at home and was from quite early on (as she's a climber), but the lure of seeing what grandma has squirrelled away in her not-childproofed house would be too much so she's in a travel cot then (she can't climb out of the travel cot like she can a cot with bars).

dozeydoris Tue 21-Jan-14 09:04:01

As an old gimmer I would say no probs. People rush their DCs on as they assume they are advanced for their age, then have probs with them not staying in bed and getting down from the table. Do whatever makes your life easier is my view. but know I will get blah blahed for this opinion

StanleyLambchop Tue 21-Jan-14 09:12:50

My sister was still in her cot at 4 years old, she just liked it! My older siblings and I were all rushed out of the cot because there was another baby due and it was needed, but she was the youngest so no one else needed it then! My Mum said I was most unhappy to be leaving my cot, cried for weeks apparently! So some children seem ok with the big bed, others are not so keen. My sister managed to grow up into a functioning adult though, so it does not look like it did her any harm in the long run!

SlightlyTerrified Tue 21-Jan-14 09:13:56

I agree you should do what's easier and what the child is ready for but sometimes I feel you have to give the child a bit of a chance to learn how to do certain things in time for pre-school/school etc.

For instance;

My friend insists on her 3 YO sitting in a highchair at home as he gets down too much if not but at preschool he constantly gets down from the table and wanders round with his food, she says they should insist he sits down (which they do) but she isn't teaching him at home.

One of DS2s classmates mum complains the school moan to her he can't get dressed completely by himself (end of YR) but she does it for him every day.

However, they do all develop at different times and where one child can do their shirt buttons and shoe laces at 4 or 5 another will struggle at 6 or 7 as they physically can't do it.

SaucyJack Tue 21-Jan-14 09:16:33

A bit weird, but it's more a reflection on the parents than the kid.

insearchoftheFlumFlumTree Tue 21-Jan-14 09:21:05

I think it's an 'only' thing. I have a friend whose DS (no special needs) was still in a cot, high chair and in nappies (not through failed potty training, but just because they thought he 'wasn't ready' yet) when we went to stay with them when he was 3.6. I have to admit to being a bit shocked - my DS is a similar age and was long past these things. But then mine is not an only (and had younger siblings so we needed the cot and highchair); my friend's son is an only child (and not really by choice). I suspect that she was just clinging on to his babyhood for as long as she could.

DirtieBertie Tue 21-Jan-14 09:21:29

It depends somewhat on the highchair doesn't it? We had one that you put onto a normal chair and I am fairly sure mine were still using it at 3 with the tray taken off so they could sit at the table. They wouldn't have been able to eat comfortably at an adult sized table without some sort of booster.

I also know a couple of people with scandinavian style highchairs (tripp trapp etc) and their children used them until 8 or 9ish.

whatsagoodusername Tue 21-Jan-14 09:24:17

My NT DSs (3.2 and 2.2) are both still in cotbeds with the sides on and highchairs.

They don't need to be. But they don't particularly try to get out of their cots (although capable of doing so safely) so we haven't got around to taking the sides off. We did talk about taking them off before Christmas but we were going away and they had to sleep in travel cots so it seemed silly to get them used to no sides before that. And we have moved recently and moving again soon, so partly we have kept it as a familiarity thing.

They sit in their highchairs for dinner and regular chairs for breakfast and lunch. Mainly because we only have two proper chairs at the moment and DH and I use them at dinner. Again, the DC are quite capable of sitting in chairs, but their highchairs are sturdy and large enough for them and we don't have other chairs yet. We will soon, but there's no rush.

formerbabe Tue 21-Jan-14 09:24:25

My dd is 3...she sleeps in a toddler bed and sits on a normal chair to eat. Occasionally if we eat out, then she sits in a highchair. She fits fine as she is only dinky.

Chocotrekkie Tue 21-Jan-14 09:25:08

I am a firm believer in pick your battles. If my child slept all night in a cot and ate everything you gave them in a high chair the she would still be in them.

For example this morning my youngest sat on my knee and I spoon fed her porridge doing "open the tunnel for the train". She then drank her milk from her baby cup.

Then she went upstairs and got ready happily.

She has now gone to school happy, dressed, clean teeth with a full tummy and decent breakfast.

she has no sen just a stroppy mare ( angel child according to the school).

On the way to school we held hands and talked happily about the plans for her birthday in a couple of weeks - you will be horrified to know she will be 8.

ReallyTired Tue 21-Jan-14 09:27:29

My daughter still fits in her cotbed without a problem at almost five years old because she is tiny. She doesn't have the sides on and its more like a proper bed. Usually a waiter offers dd a high chair when we go out to a restuarent much to dd's indigation.

BumPotato Tue 21-Jan-14 09:27:41

My DD1 was in her cot bed until DD2 came along and turfed her out. DD1 was 3 and 3/4 when DD2 arrived. She used her high chair for ages too (though not much beyond 3 I wouldn't think). It was big and padded and reclined. DD2 was out of both by the time she was 2.

Elfhame Tue 21-Jan-14 09:29:38

I don't think it's weird. Children are creatures of habit and his chair and crib are probably a routine he doesn't want to get out of.

WowserBowser Tue 21-Jan-14 09:30:29

My Ds is 3. He sleeps in a cot bed with the sides up. We tried for 2 months in a bed but we kept finding him asleep by the stairgate by his door, asleep on the floor. So we put the sides back on. He could easily climb out but he must like it. He sleeps really well so we are not worried at the mo.

He hasn't been in a highchair for about 18 months though and will sit nicely at a table.

NicknameIncomplete Tue 21-Jan-14 09:31:52

I Dont think that it is an only child thing at all.

My dd is an only child and she was out of her cot and high chair by about 2years. Her buggy by about 3 but i only really used it if i needed a lot of shopping because the basket was massive and i dont drive.

I hate this only child stuff. My friends ds at 5 cant dress himself because his mum does it for him and he isnt an only child.

mrstigs Tue 21-Jan-14 09:37:35

I guess it can be just doing things in a way that still feels comfortable and familiar too. I've never kept one of mine in anything like that for a while, in fact my last did everything the earliest (though I would have enjoyed 'babying' her for longer!) But I know it can often felt a bit intimidating moving on and dealing with things in a different way, especially with things where you lose control of them and have to trust them more. She may feel safer and more in control using things like cots and high chairs and when she gets more confident she'll move on.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Tue 21-Jan-14 10:20:07

I'm not sure it is so much an only child thing as a youngest child thing. Our decision to move dd out of a high hair and the cot bed were both more about her baby brother needing them than it being specifically the right time for her to move.

In dd's case she was still happily in her highchair when we moved her to a booster seat at 3.6. Mealtimes are important to us - we both often work evenings so that we can all eat as a family every night. It is our family time. As a result it is important to us that dd is the correct height so that she sits at the table, eats nicely, uses her cutlery correctly and chats to us about her day. (We are slightly less strict with Ds's table manners as he is 7 months old!) The high chair still fitted her so it would have been daft to waste money on a booster seat if we hadn't needed the high chair for her brother.

We also eat out a lot and again this is important to us. We try and take her booster seat but if we forget or can't bring it - even at 3.10 - we give her the option of a high chair. Usually she prefers to sit on her knees or try and find a cushion but occassionally (one notable occassion was when she had an ice cream sundae for pudding in a very tall glass that was roughly eyebrow height for her) she opts for a high chair.

There are many things I think I have cocked up as a parent but mealtimes is one that I am very confident I have got right.

DH distinctly remembers sitting in his high chair, so it must have been big enough for him when he was quite old. Odd he wasn't turfed out as he has a younger DSIS. I'm guessing as they are less than two years apart they had two high chairs and it didn't matter.

Both mine gave up on the high chair very young. Mostly because it was too big for the kitchen, impossible to clean and I hated it.

DD1 got turfed out the cot for her DSIS and DD2 naturally moved into the double bed because it was there and she wanted the cot space for toys.

However, she carried on BFing long after cots, high chairs and nursery were a distant memory. So I never judge ages for this sort of thing.

Quenelle Tue 21-Jan-14 10:58:08

My (only child) DS was out of his cot at 2 and a bit and out of his high chair at about 18mo. He has long legs and to shoehorn him into the Antilop would have involved having to bend them the wrong way. He was kept in the pushchair too long for my liking because his grandparents liked to use it but we gave it away when he was about 3.10.

I hate this only child thing as well NicknameIncomplete. My friend has two, the oldest still waited to be picked up out of her bed and carried downstairs each morning until she was 6. And the youngest still insists on being spoonfed at 3.10. Neither likes to dress themself. Friend prides herself on doing everything for them. People who parent that way can have one or more children.

NynaevesSister Tue 21-Jan-14 10:59:06

Oh for god's sake enough with the only thing! I know more parents with cant be arsed so just leave them in nappies/cot etc. having one is not a default setting for bad parenting you know. Am so sick of people being judgemental.

Have ha this sanctimonious 'advice' for nearly all 8 years of DS's life and you know what being only had nothing to do with it. In the restrictive eating group I went to at clinic there were MORE parents of multiple children than onlies. He was still using pram/push chair at age 4 because of undiagnosed joint problem (and now for same reason we take a scooter so I can pull him if he over does it) not because I was mollycoddling him as he was an only.

List flipping well goes on!

You know every kid is different. Godson hated toddler bars. Stayed in cot until he was he was 4 because he couldn't handle have those side things made him feel hemmed in. Whereas in cot he could see through bars. When they went to stay at grandparents he was happy to sleep on floor. Eventually he went straight to a bed, no side bars. As someone said, it is unlikely they will be in the cot when 15 so does it matter?

As an aside son still liked to eat meals in his high chair at that age. It was designed to be a seat for older children (you turned the padding over once straps no longer needed. When we had our Saturday movie nights with dinner in front of TV he liked to use the high chair tray. He also liked to use it for drawing until we got his art desk when he was 5.

PicardyThird Tue 21-Jan-14 11:04:54

My dc had a cot designed so one side could be taken off. Dc2 (NT and small for age) was sleeping in it until he was I think 5, when he inherited his 7yo brother's old bed which he had outgrown, and it was fine.

My two were both using Tripp Trapps at that age, so technically 'high chairs' I suppose - they still use them, in fact.

WhereIsMyHat Tue 21-Jan-14 11:05:42

My middle son was in a cot well past his third birthday, he slept well there so we left him in it. He would sleep in bed from the age of 2 at my parents house or when we were away from home, we just didn't want to buy a toddler bed for a few months so we waited until my eldest was top bunk ready and moved him when we bought bunk beds.

Do you think the way they are treating their DD is affecting her?

KatnipEvergreen Tue 21-Jan-14 11:08:38

I think it's down to the child's personality as well. DD1 always wanted to do everything herself and was picking out her own clothes and (at least trying to) get dressed at 2. DD2 at nearly five will happily let you do everything for her- I don't, but she just doesn't care about clothes or doing stuff for herself.

Who knows what unconscious cues I have given them, but they definitely have different personalities too! Families just find what works for them. I don't particularly care about "milestones" and when kids (or indeed adults) must do this or that by a certain age.

TrinityRhino Tue 21-Jan-14 11:09:07

definitely agree with the fight the battles that need fighting

gecko is really really not a morning person

if shes tired then she gets tickled awake and I help her get dressed

she will be 7 on the 7th of feb

if shes not tired she tries to get dressed and have breakfast before I even get up to surprise me grin

Dollydishus Tue 21-Jan-14 11:09:28

I'm with Chocco and dozey on this. Def. pick your battles and if it ain't broke don't fix it etc etc.

My youngest is very much younger than the others (10 years) and is def my last one so there's no pressure from a younger one to push him along. Last night I cut up his tea and fed it to him whilst we snuggled on the sofa looking at a book. It was lovely. He's nearly 7!

He hsleeps,in his toddler-sized bed still (no bars, just one of those ikea little beds), still fits him perfectly and will do for another year or two I hope. And he has a 'high chair' at the table (no tray, and old fashioned wooden one with a higher seat and little arms so he's the right height). Mind you he is a tiddler size-wise....

NynaevesSister Tue 21-Jan-14 11:13:42

Just noting how many of those still using cots are children with siblings grin

Dollydishus Tue 21-Jan-14 11:13:44

And I dress him every morning...for speed! That way we can go from fast asleep to the school gate in 30 minutes.

I know he can dress himself perfectly well as he does it 3 times a week after PE and twice a week after swimming so I don't think my helping in the morning has delayed his development in any way. It just makes the morning smoother and faster.

If mine could fit in a crib they would still be in one. Why take them out? They're safer as they can't fall out and they can't escape

as for the high chair dd is still crammed in to one at nearly 3 and I will continue for as long as I can fit her in. She just run around and gets food everywhere and meal times take days hours otherwise.

however, my ds is the eldest of 3 ( other two are 17 months and almost 12 weeks so I'm using a double buggy for them etc) and neighbours kid is an only.

Nah depends on the family. My excuse for keeping them in a double buggy and highchairs etc is that I am too knackered from having 2 small ones (whilst being heavily pregnant). Mine are nearly 3 and nearly2. I am due in a few weeks. If I can keep them restrained a much as possible I will.

I often think if I had an only child I'd be able to spend all the time in the world nurting them in some sort of clever montessori type way but I'd probably just mn all day like I do now

DeWe Tue 21-Jan-14 12:23:59

On the basis that I was with a 7yo boy last week who managed to get himself in (and out again!) of a high chair, they're obviously going to be big enough for a 3.6yo.

Some children like the security of the cot, dd1 was moved out just before dd2 was born (dd2 was in moses basket for first 6 months, but we didn't want to move dd1 out and immediately put dd2 in) and she asked to go back again because she preferred it, even with all the fuss we made abotu her fantastic new bed and wasn't she grown up now.*

If we hadn't needed the cot, we might well have let her stay in it when she asked.

*It only took a couple of weeks before she preferred it, but we'd have probably let her decide if we could have.

Belacoros Tue 21-Jan-14 12:58:40

"gets put in buggy, wheeled out to car and strapped into car seat, buggy folded and put in boot, reverse it for when they come home. from car to front door is perhaps 7 foot, maybe 8 at a push"

Bloomin' 'eck. Just... why?

Asheth Tue 21-Jan-14 13:00:57

DS1 hated the cot and barely slept in it. At about 15 months we gave up and he slept on a futon. DS2 was totally different. I finally evicted him from his cot when he was 4 3/4 and was about to start school and I had a 6month old DS3 who really needed it! DS3 was in it until about 2 1/2.

bishboschone Tue 21-Jan-14 13:07:37

My ds has sn he sleeps in a toddler bed but does eat in a high chair but it's the ikea one so more of a chair with a tray .. The op means a cot , to be honest I could fit in my ds cot so that isn't that much of a big deal

5madthings Tue 21-Jan-14 13:15:00

my dd is three and still.uses a highchair quite often, she fits it fine and when we are out i will often use one as it means she is at the right height to sit near/at the table etc plus it means she cant keep getting down from the table.

she has never slept in a cot though. meh its just a non issue.

she is one of five childrrn btw.

NotAQueef Tue 21-Jan-14 13:19:36

My ds is 3.2 and only this week have we converted his cotbed from a cot to a bed. Until last week he was quite content in it, but had a few bad days with him wanting to get out and trying to climb out which wasn't safe so te time had come.
He is unfortunately is also still in nappies - he simply isn't ready as he has no inclination of when he needs to go and would happily sit in a dirty nappy if we let him.
No SN here, just every child is different.

stopgap Tue 21-Jan-14 13:24:43

A bit younger, but my DS is 2.5 and still sleeps in a giant pack n play. Why the jibbins would I move him when a. We have a newborn on the way and b. He sleeps 11-12 hours at night in there, plus takes a 2-3 hour nap. I'll move him to a toddler bed when he either gets too big or starts to climb out, neither of which is an immediate concern.

lilyaldrin Tue 21-Jan-14 13:30:22

DS is 3.5 and always sits in a high chair at my parent's house because otherwise he is too low down at the table (at home we have a tripp trapp style chair.

tomverlaine Tue 21-Jan-14 13:33:38

Ds was in his cot until way past 3. It was big enough - he didn't try and climb out so I didn't see the need. I moved him to a bed when he was out of nappies at night as it didn't seem fair to trap him if he needed the toilet. Now he is in our bed every night as he can get out!!
No high chair though.
we do use a pushchair though (3 3/4) occasionally...

5madthings Tue 21-Jan-14 13:35:00

by using a booster seat on a normal chair you are effectively making the chair into a high chair anyway.

ds1 is 14, 5" 7 and uses a trip trap chair as do my three other boys aged 11, 9 and 5 so actually they all sit on highchairs...

miffybun73 Tue 21-Jan-14 13:38:26

Seems very unusual, especially the highchair.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 21-Jan-14 13:41:58

dd was in her cot bed until she was 7. converted though. ds was in a converted cot until 5 both have sn that mean they are not able to use the top bunk of bunkbeds and their room does not fit two single beds in.

SoftSheen Tue 21-Jan-14 13:50:23

Nothing to do with being an only child. My DD is (so far) an only, but had stopped using her cot, highchair and sippy cup by 2. At 2.10 we do still use the buggy a bit because I often walk quite long distances, but we don't use it for shorter journeys.

However all children are different. For instance, a very petite toddler may struggle to reach the table sitting on an ordinary dining chair, and a toddler who was inclined to get out of bed and wander around at night might be safer in a cot.

Periwonkle Tue 21-Jan-14 17:18:32

I am in a v bad mood, admittedly, but the comment about "only" children being babies more?! So very smug.

NewtRipley Tue 21-Jan-14 17:23:19

I's say it's unusual

Are you worried about this child?

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob Tue 21-Jan-14 17:32:15

Thank you Nynaevesister for posting exactly what I was thinking. It's bloody depressing isn't it. The whole oooooooo are they an...only...hmm

Your kid can be 99 % perfect but one bad day and it must be because their an only.

Dd was almost a ginger only, she'd have been completely fucked then.

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob Tue 21-Jan-14 17:34:15

For what it's worth dd was in a toddler bed at 18 months and barely used the buggy past 2. [v.v.v.grumpy face]

HeartShapedBox Tue 21-Jan-14 20:16:35

I wasn't having a go at "onlys" it just seemed likely to me to be a factor as kids with no siblings would have the option to sleep in a cot, for instance, much longer than a child who's got to be evicted for the next baby grin

could say the same for the last born child, they've got that bit longer than their sibling/s got (providing they have a small age gap)

HeartShapedBox Tue 21-Jan-14 20:19:44

Belacoros - I have no idea.
I've seen him playing in the garden once or twice, but any time I meet them out and about he's always in the pram. I feel a bit sad for him really.

Hulababy Tue 21-Jan-14 20:31:46

Yes - another one getting a bit tired of the "only" thing - OP mentions it in each post after all.

FWIW my DD is an only but was still in a cot bed by 18 months....Had nothing to do with her being an only or not though and entirely down to her as an individual child with her own individual needs/requirements. Her high chahir however we had until last year - she was 11y. Tripp Trapp chair - It never did have a tray - just pushed up to the table. I could sit in it; was big enough for an adult.

CheerfulYank Tue 21-Jan-14 23:11:26

Uh, no, I didn't mention it in each post at all. confused

The only reason I mentioned it at all is in terms of them thinking she's younger than she is (which I put down to neither of them being around children at all before they had her) and that when they have another, the tininess of the baby next to their 4 year old will make them realize she isn't a baby. It was not a dig at only children, DS was an only for 6 years and for quite some time I thought he always would be!

Cory no I don't think there are undiagnosed SN. I've worked with lots of kids with SN and though the little girl seems a bit "young" for her age it's nothing I would call a developmental delay or place on the autistic spectrum or anything like that.

It is a non issue and I didn't mean to imply that it wasn't. As I said, I just always have a knee jerk "hmm that's a bit odd" feeling when I see a picture of her in a highchair or when my friend talks about the crib, and just wanted to know if it was odd or my reaction was! smile

foreverondiet Tue 21-Jan-14 23:13:43

Don't think odd to be in a cot (American crib) at that age if child is happy with that. I only moved my son at age 3 but he would have been happy in it for longer.

Re: highchair perhaps a little more odd but again if the child wants to sit in it no harm.

MoominsYonisAreScary Tue 21-Jan-14 23:39:47

We moved ds3 out of the cot at 2.6, although he would have quite happily stayed in it. Hes 3 in march and likes to eat his dinner in his little brothers low chair still

Dollydishus Tue 21-Jan-14 23:50:29

I've got three DCs but the 'only' thing makes me crosss too. My very closest friend has what looks like an 'only' but in fact I they lost another child soon after he was born. So the 'only' label is doubly wrong and hurtful. Their living son is a bit quirky and this was often put down to him being an 'only'. Hardly anyone knew it was actually down to them all being very bereaved. They are a very private family and years later not many people know about the child who died.

'Only' used in a pejorative way is very hurtful.

Ledkr Tue 21-Jan-14 23:59:38

Dd is nearly 3 and sleeps in a cot still.
She didn't sleep at all until she's was 2 and a half so I'm certainly not rocking the boat now.
The high hair is still in the kitchen but mainly because I have my nephew and also friends over with toddlers so its handy .

differentnameforthis Wed 22-Jan-14 00:01:50

I don't think it is a only child 'thing' or an undiagnosed SN 'thing'. I think it it just easier for the family. If they are all happy & the kid is fine & well looked after, fed, washed etc. why does it matter where she sleeps/eats? Not like they are bedding her down in a cardboard box, is it?

If it were my friend, I would see them doing what is best for their family, at that time in their lives. On the grand scheme of things, is it really worth starting a thread about what appears to be quite normal behaviour?

BeaWheesht Wed 22-Jan-14 00:07:46

Dd is 3y4m and in a cot, she's slept in beds when on holiday / at people's houses etc its just that her ro has no space for a full bed until we get rid of the large wardrobe. That will be happening very soon though.

She hasn't been in a highchair since she was about 18 months and I think ds was about the same. Neither went in a buggy after that either unless it was several miles.

BeaWheesht Wed 22-Jan-14 00:09:56


Oh and re highchair I wouldn't think it that odd tbf

WelshMaenad Wed 22-Jan-14 00:27:26

Heartshapedbox, that is beyond bizarre. My DS is also 3y9m, exactly, and he's been in full time school since September and goes hiking with his dad.

A buggy to the car and back?? WTAF?

bochead Wed 22-Jan-14 00:43:31

Highchair - what's the dining room furniture like?

Crib - does the child thrash around a lot at night or sleepwalk?

CheerfulYank Wed 22-Jan-14 00:56:32

She doesn't sleepwalk; she's never slept in a bed so they wouldn't know if she did.

DifferentName I started the thread, again, because I truly wanted to know if I was BU. And was bored. smile I would never mention it to anyone in RL so thought I'd ask here. I have never seen a child that old still in a crib or high chair (though have known some kids with SN who were/are) and was curious. I am in no way equating it with abuse or neglect or her being "bedded down in a cardboard box". She is a very loved little girl! Now I know it's a common thing and I won't think more of it.

Nor do I think children who don't have siblings are babied. Again, I mentioned it only because I know when my DD was born, DS was nearly 6 and suddenly seemed huge! So I only meant that when the girl in question becomes a big sister in the fall, she will seem much bigger.

HeartShapedBox Wed 22-Jan-14 01:28:09

Welshmaenad- yes, it's definitely a bit hmm

Bogeyface Wed 22-Jan-14 02:05:20

The size thing I totally get. My friend had a 2 year old that was weeny compared to my then 5+6 year olds. Then I had DC6 and she seemed massive! She was still in sleep suits and a buggy and I was thinking "but she is HUGE!" She wasnt, I had just forgotten how tiny newborns are!

Idocrazythings Wed 22-Jan-14 02:48:31

We use our high chair as an extra stool at the breakfast bar (no tray though) and DS (3.9) and dd (5.9) both sit in it (not at the same time... They fit fine it's a biggish fisher price one). DS also fits fine in his converted cot/toddler bed and it gives him a lot of space on the floor to make his train tracks. She probably is just in the habit and hasn't realised how big dd is? Maybe the high chair is convenient for them too?

gimcrack Wed 22-Jan-14 06:34:08

Sometimes people get stuck in a rut. If it's what they've always done then they keep on doing it. I know a two and a half year old whose mum complains he drinks formula and has a bottle. I wonder why she doesn't just stop giving it to him. He's still in a highchair, too.

NynaevesSister Wed 22-Jan-14 11:59:18

The taking them to the car in the buggy seems odd but might seem perfectly normal if you are involved in day to day lives. If the child pitched a fit and insisted on it then I would go along and work on weaning them off using the buggy as a crutch. I had to carry a baby boy doll to school for most of son's Reception year and it was bloody embarrassing. However having the doll helped him feel brave enough to go to school without having a meltdown. Now when he needs a crutch to help him with school he gets me to bring his light sabre, thank goodness.

goldenlula Wed 22-Jan-14 13:14:02

I don't see the issue tbh. Ds' were 2.4 and 2.7 when they went into a bed, vacating the cot in preparation for the next baby. Dd is our last, she is 2.8 and still in a cot, she has never attempted to climb out and I am sure she will be out of the cot by the time she is 18 wink but if it isn't broke, why fix it? In all seriousness, we will be putting her in a bed at some point in the not too distant future, but we need to get bunk beds for the boys then use ds2's bed for dd.

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