AIBU in finding comments such as "soft shandy drinking southern bastard"

(139 Posts)
lolaisafuckertoo Sun 19-Jan-14 19:50:22

from my husbands Northern family, beyond insulting. Card from FIL with usual sentiment on it for DH for birthday. Similar comments from the fleet of twats during Xmas day Skype (we are abroad for the moment). given that the grand daughter is southern i.e. born here. I am also born in the south east. I want to tell them all to just fuck off northern fucking monkeys.
I don't think it is funny. DH doesn't seem to think so....but then his dad is always less funny than he really is..

lolaisafuckertoo Sun 19-Jan-14 19:51:19

he is on the phone right now with is dad...all having a chuckle about it...

WorraLiberty Sun 19-Jan-14 19:52:38

My Northern mate calls me a softy southern shandy pants

I think it's funny grin

YouTheCat Sun 19-Jan-14 19:52:40

Considering some of the stereotypes around concerning Northerners, I'd say yabu.

formerbabe Sun 19-Jan-14 19:53:10

Are they like the cast of shameless?

JackNoneReacher Sun 19-Jan-14 19:53:45

well is he?

JackNoneReacher Sun 19-Jan-14 19:55:22

sorry, I'm instantly regretting posting that. I hate all these divisive North/South jokes. Even in good humour I've started to find them really, really boring and predictable and YANBU to find them insulting.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 19-Jan-14 19:55:24

Considering the insults thrown at Scots and northerners in the name of humour I'd just take it on the chin.

volestair Sun 19-Jan-14 19:55:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

owlbegoing Sun 19-Jan-14 19:56:33

The only word I'd take offense to is bastard. The rest is just banter. I say this as a proud soft southern shandy drinking southerner grin

You tell those fucking northern monkeys OP...

Piscivorus Sun 19-Jan-14 19:57:44

As a "northern fucking monkey" can I say I think you are all as bad as each other.

Thebluedog Sun 19-Jan-14 19:58:10

Just ask them where they left there flat cap and whippets grin
I'd take it on the chin and give as good as you get. Yabu

procrastinatingagain Sun 19-Jan-14 20:00:34

I'm getting that you're not very keen on your husband's family, op. Is that right?

"Fleet of twats", "northern fucking monkeys"

You are sooooo not being unreasonable, you poor little oppressed southerner. hmm

Bahhhhhumbug Sun 19-Jan-14 20:08:47

They don't like it up 'em these satherners do they ? grin

So let's get this right you want these 'Northern fucking monkeys' to stop all this stupid North/South divide /banter. hmm

ChubbyLittleLoser Sun 19-Jan-14 20:10:35

My best friend is from the south, I call him a southern softy, he calls me a northern numpty...we think it's funny.

Just join in and give it back.

WhatAFeline Sun 19-Jan-14 20:11:04

Well, it isn't funny and it is a bit pathetic. It certainly is boring for you. I can't think of a way round it, unless you really go for the jugular..." Would you tease me if I was.....insert minority"

But tbh, it might be better to just ignore.

JackNoneReacher Sun 19-Jan-14 20:14:22

Have you ever called them 'Northern fucking monkeys'? I think they'd like it if you did.

FudgefaceMcZ Sun 19-Jan-14 20:16:57

I dunno, do you find it more or less offensive than the fact that people in many northern cities will have 30 years cut off the lifespan you and your shandy drinking soft bastards expect as birthright? If you're generally upset by stereotypes and generalisations then I guess it's consistent, if you are only upset when it's about you then you are a soft shandy drinking southern bastard. HTH.

aderynlas Sun 19-Jan-14 20:17:41

Tell them to get off phone, take whippet out and feed pigeons.

KittensoftPuppydog Sun 19-Jan-14 20:22:44

Four stages of being a southerner:
1. Realise that some people live in the north and some in the south.
2. Realise that some people in the north hate you because of where you're from.
3. Get upset about it and wonder why.
4. Start to think ODFOD, and sometimes say it.
Sounds like you are moving between 3 and 4.

ComposHat Sun 19-Jan-14 20:27:54

Typical moaning southerner.

Ooooh the poor oppressed poppets.

What with all the access to the jobs, money, resources & whatnot .

KittensoftPuppydog Sun 19-Jan-14 20:37:03

Wonder what people in say, south Sudan, think of those poor oppressed northerners.

DrNick Sun 19-Jan-14 20:37:19


NinjaPenguin Sun 19-Jan-14 20:38:22

grin at access to money, jobs, resources and whatnot. Not around here?

YABU to call them 'northern monkeys' too. He IBU to call you that, if isnt considered funny for both of you. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Custardo Sun 19-Jan-14 20:40:33

dont be such a southern fairy tight arse po face OP

is just a thing

we call southerners shandy driniing fairies

and you call us knuckle dragging cave men and such

if you can't give as much as you get - its cos you drink too much shandy

LittleBabyPigsus Sun 19-Jan-14 20:42:03

What about us Midlanders? We always get left out grin

Wonder what people in say, south Sudan, think of those poor oppressed northerners

Maybe OP should emigrate there then. No "northern fucking monkeys" to have to make pleasantries with.

bellablot Sun 19-Jan-14 20:45:26

Oh god get yourself a sense of humour. It's not you they are saying it too anyway it's your DH, who clearly finds it funny. And I'm not sure throwing insults at northerners whilst protesting to be insulted by southerner comments is such a good idea!

BonesAndSkully Sun 19-Jan-14 20:45:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BloominNora Sun 19-Jan-14 20:47:05

I used to know a bloke from Doncaster who referred to anyone who came from south of Sheffield as a 'Soft Southerner' grin

I used to tell him he was a northern numpty amongst other things wink

ComposHat Sun 19-Jan-14 20:47:12

In the interest of full disclosure, I am originally from the English Midlands and now live in Scotland so get to hate you soft southern tory bastards and your rickets infested northern in laws equally.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Sun 19-Jan-14 20:48:27

What about us Midlanders? We always get left out

Nah, when in Yorkshire we get put with Southerners, in London, they think we're 'northern'. It's the best worst of both worlds.

BonesAndSkully Sun 19-Jan-14 20:48:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hugoagogo Sun 19-Jan-14 20:51:08

This will not end well.

As a 'southener' I know that the south is not a dreamland where everyone is rich and happy and somehow priviliged.

As someone who has lived in the north for over 20 years, I also know that it is not universally grim and deprived (I have been to bettys grin)

These sort of comments (and I mean yours as well as your bil's) are unhelpful divisive and insulting and reflect badly on the person doling them out. I wish people would get over it. sad

Blu Sun 19-Jan-14 20:53:56

The thing about us softy southern shandy drinkers is that we can endure a bit of teasing without having to reach for a packet of tissues.

Isn't it?

(but then I am a Midlander, now living the SE dream rolling in wealth etc, oooh, yes).

also, op, have you considered that the issue here is not the N-S divide, but the fact that they are men, and men will take the piss out of each other for preferring Smoky Bacon to Cheese and onion?


SaucyJack Sun 19-Jan-14 20:53:57

I can see the Sussex sea from my lounge window...... and I'd still drink any of you Northern monkeys under any amount of tables.

North?south banter doesn't really bother me (as you can probably tell)

ChippingInWadesIn Sun 19-Jan-14 20:59:48

BTP - grin

Bones - just off to youtube it grin

OP - stop being such a twat or something else beginning with T... let me think... that's it twonk or something.

NinjaPenguin Sun 19-Jan-14 21:02:57

My exDP is a tough old northerner. He lived in a really, really posh area with private schools and so on, my area has a high rate of poverty, deprivation and unemployment, and is the opposite of posh! confused

HaroldLloyd Sun 19-Jan-14 21:04:39

Next time you visit why not mainline three bottles of absinthe and call them all cunts?

That would solve it, I think.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harriet247 Sun 19-Jan-14 21:08:42

Well im welsh.

aderynlas Sun 19-Jan-14 21:09:26

Taffies or sheep shaggers is what we get. Cant say it bothers me.

meganorks Sun 19-Jan-14 21:10:35

Its just age old north/south banter. It has been going on for all time. Most of unit was spent mocking the other group. No harm meant. No one takes it seriously. Lighten up.

nauticant Sun 19-Jan-14 21:11:03

I'm terrible sorry to hear that harriet247.

GlitzAndGiggles Sun 19-Jan-14 21:11:19

My northern family always call me a southern softy and I call them northern monkeys. I'd never take offence to it it's just banter to me

Joysmum Sun 19-Jan-14 21:12:06

You give us southern softies a bad name. FFS, develop a sense of humour hmm

harriet247 Sun 19-Jan-14 21:12:34

And ive got too english an accent to fit in sad

BonesAndSkully Sun 19-Jan-14 21:13:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlitzAndGiggles Sun 19-Jan-14 21:13:33

Jason Manford always takes the piss out of us southerners and I laugh at it. Life's too short to get worked up over it!

BonesAndSkully Sun 19-Jan-14 21:14:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaroldLloyd Sun 19-Jan-14 21:16:48

Yes yes welsh here too.

Whose coat is that jacket. And sheep.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaroldLloyd Sun 19-Jan-14 21:18:52

Sorry beer sad

Give them absinthe?

WestieMamma Sun 19-Jan-14 21:18:57

My northern relatives send me presents wrapped in ManU wrapping paper. That is offensive.

volestair Sun 19-Jan-14 21:21:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsVestibule Sun 19-Jan-14 21:22:47

FFS beer it's obviously p*a*th. Don't be giving your poor mixed up children any of them fancy London ways.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

southeastastra Sun 19-Jan-14 21:29:05

it must be hard to people to live up north and it must be so boring of them, so humouring them is the kindest reaction grin

The only way to have a decent pint down south is to have it with lemonade.

Learn how to pour a beer properly and us northerners might reconsider the insults.

MsVestibule Sun 19-Jan-14 21:33:50

I understand, beer, these mixed culture relationships can be a bit tricky. I live in a NE ex pit village. Everyone round here thinks I speak like the queen (although I do pronounce flat 'a's). My DH has a Geordie accent. My DS sounds like Little Lord Fauntleroy. My DD speaks like a Geordie fishwife.

lolaisafuckertoo Sun 19-Jan-14 22:38:29

Fair enough. I shall give them the v's next time we are in town...which might well be the last. if I have my way. we shall tool off back down to the south where the weather is better too..

Piscivorus Sun 19-Jan-14 22:41:08

We have a mixed marriage as I am a scouser and DH is a woollyback. Grew up about half an hour away from each other but families speak with totally different accents and act like we've both married foreigners grin

morethanpotatoprints Sun 19-Jan-14 22:41:49

Does the cap fit?
Well, if not perhaps laugh it off with the good sense of humour us northern folk have, with our flat caps and clogs.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 19-Jan-14 22:47:55


Sweaty Betty, Going down Blackpool for a fight, OMG had forgotten the mac Lads. grin

BrianTheMole Sun 19-Jan-14 22:52:31

I can drink my northern monkey relatives under the table. No shandy round here. The lightweights. grin

colleysmill Sun 19-Jan-14 22:56:13

This thread reminded me of the film "It's nice up North" with John Shuttleworth about his efforts to show well, it's nice up north and the corresponding sequel "It's soft down South"

MadAsFish Sun 19-Jan-14 23:03:21

Tell them to get off phone, take whippet out and feed pigeons.

This cracked me up.

I call my lovely friend from Kent a 'shandy drinking southerner' It is said in jest as I hold her very dear.
OP, take yourself to the grip shop & purchase one, taking it far to personally & no I wouldn't advise you to use the term 'northern monkey' it's NEVER a good idea & certainly not an affectionate term... hmm

SaucyJack Sun 19-Jan-14 23:11:42

Aren't you contradicting yourself a bit there GinLush?

They're either both terms of endearment or both offensive. One isn't worse than the other.

SaucyJack Sun 19-Jan-14 23:12:13

(Should that be t'other?)

Where am I contradicting myself?
Say both things out loud-do they both sound like terms of endearment?
No I thought not.
My shandy drinking southerner wouldn't dream of calling me a fucking monkey, nor her DH.

Wallison Sun 19-Jan-14 23:17:46

Oh God so it's 'offensive' now? Ffs.

Amazingly all northerners aren't from Yorkshire either hmm
Though granted that may be a soh fail from over the Watford gap...

Wallpaper123 Sun 19-Jan-14 23:24:56

I find the condescending stereotyping of northerners just as offensive and we are both transplanted southerners.

SuzanneUK Sun 19-Jan-14 23:33:17

I think it's just inverted snobbery.

He's jealous because the south has trees and grass, and indoor plumbing and jobs and toilet paper and tampons and soap and all sorts of things like that.

You should be a little more understanding.

LittleBabyPigsus Sun 19-Jan-14 23:45:01

Of course neither set of stereotypes is nearly as offensive as the Hotels4u 'Brummie' advert shock

/annoyed Midlander

EllaFitzgerald Sun 19-Jan-14 23:50:50

I like having a bit of banter with my Welsh in laws and DH enjoys bantering with my family and his friends and colleagues here. My DFIL jokes that he tells people his son is in prison rather than admit he's living in England. It's not serious, everyone would be mortified if they thought either of us was upset by it. They're good people and love us both.

My friends, however, think it's very funny that I've started saying things like 'I'll be there now'.

HaroldLloyd Sun 19-Jan-14 23:53:26

I lived with a lovely posh boy from clapham in university and I got him,

Within a term or two he was saying I'll do it now in a minute.

Grennie Sun 19-Jan-14 23:54:38

This is probably banter. I am from the north living in the south. I quickly learned that was fine to say to people in the north, was considered rude and offensive by some in the south. The thing is my friends in the north all knew that you didn't say stuff like this to people if you meant it. And you only said it to people you like. It is actually a sign of affection.

anothernumberone Sun 19-Jan-14 23:58:04

OP you wouldn't survive in Ireland people slag others off from coming from the parish 2 miles down the road but who are members of another Gaelic football hurling GAA club. The North South divide barely gets a look in.

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 19-Jan-14 23:58:10

I'm from the south and I find shandy a bit strong tbh confused

RockinHippy Mon 20-Jan-14 00:15:25

Give over YABU to the max,

as a northerner living south & the constant jibes & even damn right pig ignorant prejudice we've had to put up with from some quarters - Ive even had the drunk DW of a friend of DHs forget that I too am Geordie & proud, even if not so obvious to hear any more - but sat bitching at a party that northerner are all just so common, they just don't understand the MC & apparently we all eat pigs trotters, pies & lard & that its just so grim & dirty up there, she's not surprised they all leave, but she rather they didn't come here & finished off with "what on earth possessed me to marry one" angry Ive come across real, genuine ignorant prejudice from certain wannabe MC acquaintances & they don't even see that they do it

I've never seen that from North to South - only banter - so YABVU

RockinHippy Mon 20-Jan-14 00:21:01

I also remember an ex of mind in London, he also genuinely believed everything past Watford was so down market - he went on & on about his DPs large upper class family home, made such a huge deal of my finally getting to see it, worried I would be intimidated confused

It was a rather ordinary unimposing mid terrace FFS grin

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Mon 20-Jan-14 00:38:01

Oh yes, littlebabypigsus. That'll be because every midlander who ever lived sounded/sounds exactly like Lenny Henry. Grrrr.

Grennie Mon 20-Jan-14 00:41:55

Hippy - Pigs trotters are served in some very expensive restuarants now!

Preferthedogtothekids Mon 20-Jan-14 00:43:01

Anyone south of Gretna is a soft Southern Shandy-Drinker to me :-)

EllaFitzgerald Mon 20-Jan-14 00:50:17

Harold it's bloody infectious! grin

aderynlas Mon 20-Jan-14 01:04:08

I ll be there now in a minute is great. Also put it down here by there. Enough of this shandy talk everyone who doesnt drink a pint of daaark is a softie.

wishful75 Mon 20-Jan-14 01:09:33

YABU, its called banter and most likely intended to be affectionate. Grow a sense of humour.

Anyone below Teeside is a southern softie in my book and yes that includes Yorkshire.

RockinHippy Mon 20-Jan-14 08:00:29

Grennie I know

- like I said - pig ignorant (excuse the pun grin) - DH & I don't eat meat either

SconeForAStroll Mon 20-Jan-14 09:09:06

Ha! Try being a southern softy moving to the grizzled north as a child. Other kids at school used to mock me witless over my vowel sounds. sad

Now I self identify as a nomad. It's easier. And I get to have a camel.

wellthatsdoneit Mon 20-Jan-14 09:30:11

Start calling him frank Gallagher and ask him if he's got electricity and an indoor toilet yet. Then bray loudly at your own 'joke'.

I don't think it's the term as such that's offensive but just the sheer relentless unfunniness of it.

I moved from Hants to Merseyside aged 5. I remember trying to sound more Northern (my Northern family are from Liverpool, but lived in St Helens)

The teasing stopped as I became more scouse. Then we moved to Warrington and I landed in the middle of Mancunian exiles who ripped the piss because I was a Scouser.

My accent is now generic Northern grin

Throughout all of this my Hants and Dorset family have really taken the piss. They constantly infer that Northerners are less than Southerners, that we are all living in either Coronation St or on the Shameless estate hmm My Dorset village, Dubarry-clad cousin was once shocked to learn there was countryside in the North....hmm

While the majority is light hearted banter, there are several family members (esp within the Dorset lot) who genuinely believe they are far superior....

My witty retorts include labeling them either Cockernees and calling them Del Boy, or when a Dorset cousin got particularly offensive I replied "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? All I heard was 'oooo arrrr' and something about tractors....?"

She stopped talking to me, could dish it out but didnt know how to be on the receiving end.

Some people (North and South) are just ignorant cunts. The rest are just having a large and you'd be daft to take it personally.

nb: I love everybody from John O'Groats to Lands End puts down spade, hopes hole is big enough wink

*having a laugh

Latara Mon 20-Jan-14 10:06:02

Twinkly there is an old Dorset rhyme that goes ''Dorset born and Dorset bred, thick in the arm and thick in the head'' (I'm from Dorset)

SomethingkindaOod Mon 20-Jan-14 10:41:09

Latara I've heard that rhyme said about Yorkshire born people as well.. (Lancashire born and bred here) my Yorkshire FIL still acts like me and DH need some kind of diplomatic relations because I was born to Mancunians and is therefore an incomer!
Just to top off the Northern stereotype, the house I grew up in had a working outdoor toilet as well as an indoor one grin as did our own first house that we bought when DS was a baby.
My southern friends use this knowledge with way too much glee IMO...

harticus Mon 20-Jan-14 10:53:38

Doesn't matter where you come from stereotypes abound - try coming from Surrey where everyone thinks you are ... filthy rich, stockbroker, footballer, Russian mafia.
North Londoners have a pop at south Londoners and we shove it right back at them.
Or try coming from Norfolk and put up with the endless bollocks about inbreds and webbed feet.

Just fine tune your humour and chuck it back at them.
Although the FIL sounds a bit of a dick - my ex FiL never stopped making jokes about my son's height (he's tall).
Year after fucking year of it.
Some people are just unfunny arseholes.

ComposHat Mon 20-Jan-14 11:34:37

some My favourite is the Yorkshireman's toast:

Here's to me and the wife's husband and not forgetting me'sen.

Bowlersarm Mon 20-Jan-14 11:51:17


My first serious boyfriend was from Chester. Oh, I loved his family dearly and his friends. They were always saying things like that (although not the bastard bit). I just took the joking as affection. We lived together for 6 years, and after our split I still kept in contact with them. It was all quite sad.

Then I married a softy southerner like myself. Very boring, much preferred having a contrast of backgrounds (although DH is the one for me, just wish he had grown up in a different area with a different accent grin)

minouminou Mon 20-Jan-14 12:53:23

It is blindingly tiresome.

It's possible they can't think if anything else to say, though. Are you a bit stand-offish with them? When they start with the boring stuff, just change the subject.
Have a mental list of subjects ready to pick from and just steer the convo away.

I've been living in the south for 15 years now, and it's sooooo dull to listen to these tired old statements. Politics aside, it's a tiny island, we're all of us (well, most) getting shafted one way or the other.

A relative of mine moved here a couple of years ago, and was going through the usual "Eyup, ah'm 'ere for't' show thee how to drink beer" Bittersweet Symphony monkey-walk nonsense.

One of my responses was that she might end up meeting a friend of ours who survived the Rwandan genocide. Did she think he'd give a shite? No, and pretty much everyone else isn't too far behind.

minouminou Mon 20-Jan-14 12:58:41

Oh, and inverted snobbery is a bastard.
There is nothing you can do or say to tackle it.
Not sure if this is what's going on with the OP...doesn't seem like it, but it can get genuinely un

minouminou Mon 20-Jan-14 12:58:57

...genuinely un

minouminou Mon 20-Jan-14 12:59:51

I'll try again
Genuinely unpleasant, and your hands are tied.

Custardo Mon 20-Jan-14 13:25:47

not sure how it is inverted snobbery

I thought it was a bit of fun, I think some people take things too seriously

minouminou Mon 20-Jan-14 13:28:25

Read my comment:

"Not sure if this is what's going on with the OP...doesn't seem like it, but it can get genuinely unpleasant."

I was just chiming in with some previous posters who were talking about inverted snobbery.

Mentioning it once or twice...yeah, nice ice-breaker etc etc...but years of it? Wears very thin indeed.

GlitzAndGiggles Mon 20-Jan-14 13:29:42

Eeee this threads full of bloody doyles!

As a southerner my northern monkey side of the family would be proud of me for that smile

minouminou Mon 20-Jan-14 13:31:12

It's like the OP's in-laws don't see her.
I'm not sure how many years she's been with her DH, but it should have worn off a bit by now. This is what made me ask if it might be the case that they're a bit stuck for something else to say to her.

volestair Mon 20-Jan-14 13:54:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lolaisafuckertoo Mon 20-Jan-14 14:02:02

In truth, they are not people blessed with sparkling wit. I am in fact born in London, of Irish parents, lived in Ireland from aged 6 to 19 where we were English, returned to London where I was called Paddy regularly, lived in Spain where no one was the slightest bit interested in where I was from, my eldest daughters father is Spanish and I now live in America with my Northern DH and our DD2, who has auburn red hair which of course his lot said was the streak of Paddy. Actually, his aunt had the same hair....a streak of Viking. His father once asked if she was the milkmans....ha ha ha

I do not feel comfortable enough with is lot to find this old line churned out year after year to be amusing. Neither do I feel close enough to chuck it back. By all means go on about it when we see you, don't send a birthday card with it on....please come up with something a bit more original.

His father has said in the past, at various get togethers;
The Irish have brought their trouble on themselves
THe Catholics chuck incense around and believe in magic
The blood Irish and the famine, not the first won't be the last.
Oliver Cromwell was given bad PR over his Irish campaigns.
I could go on.
All said without a hint of banter or gentle joshing

so that perhaps explains my raw spot about it all.

lolaisafuckertoo Mon 20-Jan-14 14:02:52

Oh and he has a little hitler moustache too. that he dyes. brown

minouminou Mon 20-Jan-14 14:03:52

Briefly, as I'm off on the school run.
In 1997 The Verve (from Wigan, iirc) released Bittersweet Symphony. The vid featured lead manRichard Ashcroft walking through the crowds on a London (I think) street and bumping into everyone. He used a distinctive sort of walk that got picked up on by regular joes as well as a few comedians, and the joke was that as soon as a northerner gets off the train, s/he adopts this walk.

The thing is, very few people would say "northern monkey" for real, but it seems ok to call someone a bastard/poof/Tory/ etc etc.

As soon as you say anything back, from your position of unimaginable privilege, you're doomed.

Latara Mon 20-Jan-14 14:05:36

Down here in Dorset there are lots of 'incomers' who have moved here from London area and the North... I used to get teased for my (slight) Dorset accent by some London lads and got called the Caramel Bunny!!

volestair Mon 20-Jan-14 14:08:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Latara Mon 20-Jan-14 14:10:07

In fact.... down here in Dorset you're a Northerner if you only come from London.

volestair Mon 20-Jan-14 14:10:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

volestair Mon 20-Jan-14 14:11:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aquashiv Mon 20-Jan-14 14:13:56

I used to live with a bunch of northerners (from somewhere dark outside Watford). I could drink all of them under the table and they wore coats when I didn't have to. So I would say its all lies and rise above it.
However in my case I am rather partial to a glass of shandy now. Send him a picture of Albert Tatlog or whatever old git is on Corrie these days, saying saw this and thought of you..
Its just banter. Its the folks from the West you have to watch.

melika Mon 20-Jan-14 14:18:59

My FIL is always having a go at my background, but although grating and has bothered me over the years, I'm sure he is delighted when I do take offence. So I don't anymore. He is a prat.

JUST IGNORE and think of some choice ones to fire back at them. You can end it with 'but I'm only joking'!

lolaisafuckertoo Mon 20-Jan-14 14:54:17

volestair isn't it though?!

DipMeInChocolate Mon 20-Jan-14 14:59:46

As a southerner, well midlander living in the NW it doesn't bother me at all as I agree with it. My northern cousin has lived in London too long and on a recent visit home upon not being able to use a card in the pub stated "oh, I forget things work differntly outside of London". hmm

Mim78 Mon 20-Jan-14 15:06:19

Am taking from this the idea that it is not so much the words they a're saying that are offending you but the constantly being got at by family. If so yanbu as would be tiring.

lolaisafuckertoo Mon 20-Jan-14 15:23:15

mim78 I think that is it really. The southern thing is simply the tip of a slippy pile of shit they feel compelled to throw. I never rise to it, ever, even in moments when they are outrageous. but this is just really boring now.

usuallyright Mon 20-Jan-14 15:36:00

as a northerner darn sarf, I can accurately report that the stereotypes are in fact true and not just stereotypes!

lolaisafuckertoo Mon 20-Jan-14 15:39:12

usually I can drink the fucking back legs off anyone, northern southern or likewise. as can my Northern Husband. He doesn't walk like the bloke in the bittersweet symphony, I am far from soft and do not tolerate shandy.
You can accurately report that up yer friggin arse love

lolaisafuckertoo Mon 20-Jan-14 15:39:38

usually were you being funny? Sorry if I shot off like a rocket there.

Charotte31 Mon 20-Jan-14 15:59:16

I'm from Essex husband from Scotland and his family, manly his dad loves to take the piss out of me, Essex, the way I speak even how my DD his grand daughter talks. Gets right up my nose!

usuallyright Mon 20-Jan-14 17:31:37

I was being a bit tongue in cheek, but most regional stereotypes stem from some original truth or other. Either way, I've always found the north/south pisstakes amusing. I've been on the other end of the pisstake comments, from southerners telling me how common and loutish northerners are, whilst forgetting I'm northern! I found it hilarious!

not the most offensive comment i've ever heard tbh.

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 20-Jan-14 18:18:00

It isn't the most offensive thing ever.

But if the relationship isn't that great between you and them and it's said often, I can see why it would annoy you. So Yanbu.

If dp's brother/utter twat best mate (all southerners) said something derogatory about me being Welsh, I'd go off like a rocket. Because I don't like them and they don't like me.

English people I get on well with, I just return in kind. There's so much more to mock* grin

It can be a laugh.

Though "have you had a stroke/sat on your phone" if speaking/texting Welsh (usually on their request) does get on my tits.

*that was a joke.

If a Scot is taking the piss out of you be relieved, it means we like you.
It's when we go monosyllabic on your arse you need to worry wink
Scots rip the pish out of each other for everything, be you a Weedgie, a Sheep Shagger or a tight Fifer. It's what we do.

Kelpie1975 Mon 20-Jan-14 18:33:57

Sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you.

Unless, of course, you're a soft, southern shandy drinker. In that case, names are lethal to the fragile wee lambs.


I remember my first slag off with DH well "I'm from Fife, Katie"
"Nae luck, do you squeak when you walk?"
It was love at first insult grin

Latara I shall store that rhyme for future use, thank you! grin

ethelb Mon 20-Jan-14 19:30:10

This thread is hilarious, but in all seriousness to the OP, it can often be a little nastier than people are making out here.

There is plenty of banter, which if you are British, I just think you have to put up with a little bit if you are going to make friends outside of your own area!

However, I do think there is a core of people who are actually quite serious. I am a southerner who speaks 'RP' but has spent time living in the north, and I have plenty of friends who banter about my fridgid southerness (though I can drink wink ) and we have a laugh and I moderate my po-faced'ness!

However, I have also met people for whom it became apparant fairly quickly that the banter was actually masking a fairly serious belief that I was somehow inferior due to the fact that it was obvious to them that I and no-one else in my family had ever worked a day in their life due to being bedecked with priviledge from the moment of conception and were therefore responsible for everything that had ever gone wrong in their own lives and families, and the lives of all of their ancestors back to Abraham.

Like a mumsnet competitive poverty/anti 'rich' people thread on acid.

I do come from a relatively comfortable background, but most often these people did too, and I have to say that really, really grated.

Plus in my experience (London-based) it is not true that southerners hold equally narrow views. The only time I ever experienced a person sneering about 'northern birds' was a bunch of rugger buggers at the pub, which as I am sure you are aware is by no means representative wink.

Vikki88 Mon 20-Jan-14 19:39:59

I think you're being a bit precious - I grew out of letting stuff like that annoy me years ago. I get called a dingle for being a Wolves fan & I used to let it get under my skin to a degree... but after a while you just stop caring! It's not worth being bothered about.

People from Wolverhampton aren't anything like the Dingles, it isn't that grim up north, southerners drink the same as everyone else & the Welsh don't really shag sheep. At least not that often, I don't think. wink

volestair Mon 20-Jan-14 19:46:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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