To ask for a c-section?

(63 Posts)
Rigbyroo Sun 12-Jan-14 20:31:16

Any advice greatly appreciated. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and really do not know what to do. I had a terrible, extremely long labour with dc1 ending in forceps theatre delivery and a third degree tear. My latent phase and second stage lasted an age and I don't feel like I can do it again. I felt like a total failure and I cannot mentally feel that way again. What are the chances of me getting an elective c-section without stress? Please help and give your c-section or second birth stories! Thank you.

bonzo77 Sun 12-Jan-14 20:35:46

YANBU. I can't give any useful advice, having had an EMCS largely due to me insisting, and a semi-ELCS for the sake of the baby. Lots of people here will have been in your position and found a way that worked for them.

Rigbyroo Sun 12-Jan-14 20:38:50

Thank you. Do you think there's anything I can say that will help my case? I'm worried that I am too weak to argue and that I will just accept what I'm told. How did you find recovery?

InPursuitOfOblivion Sun 12-Jan-14 20:39:11

The NICE guidelines changed in 2011 so that a woman can choose a CS if she wants one even without clinical justification.
If one consultant refuses, you can ask to be referred to another one.
Most midwives will try to put you off, ( it is their job to do so, they're not just being cows!) so do your research, be prepared and you'll get what you want without too much fuss.
If a CS is what you really want. It is quite a brutal operation with a fair bit of recovery time.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 12-Jan-14 20:41:21

Go for it, push for it if you must.

MrsBettany Sun 12-Jan-14 20:44:27

Check out NICE guidance CG132 issued in 2011. You are entitled to request a c section even where there is no clinical indication. Your consultant is required to discuss your concerns but ultimately is required to offer you a c section if you still want one. Where a consultant is not willing to offer a c section they must refer you to another consultant who will.

Make an appt asap with your consultant and take the NICE guidance with you. You may decide after discussion that you are happy to have a vaginal birth but if you are not then they cannot deny you a c section.

I requested a c section for DC2 after a traumatic labour with DC1. It wasn't 'easy' but for me it was infinitely preferable to going through another vaginal birth!

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 12-Jan-14 20:45:36

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Caesarean-section/Pages/Risks.aspx

Read this and do as much homework as you can, because I think showing you are well informed will assist you in getting your c-section.

Rigbyroo Sun 12-Jan-14 20:46:12

Thank you for responses. I've got a consultant appointment at 30 weeks. Is this too late?

livingmydream612 Sun 12-Jan-14 20:48:00

Hi

I had an elcs in oct 2012, it was my first preg and I was terrified of giving birth/possible problems/forceps etc. I had to really push for it. Midwifes and 1st consultant pushed me to go for vaginal del at 20 week app however I got to around 30 weeks and begged midwife to refer me again to a consultant which she did. The guidelines have changed and you can defo get an elcs if you choose. I read and researched alot and went armed with the info to see the 2nd consultant. He tried to push me for a vag del as well but I was very determined, he booked my cs date at the end of meeting. I am so glad I had the birth I wanted.
Hope this gives you some encouragement as they will defo try to put you off, if you want it... Stay strong and push :-)

likeit Sun 12-Jan-14 20:48:58

I'm sorry you had such a traumatic experience. I really don't think there will be a problem in asking and I think they will accept, especially in light of your history. I've had two c-sections now (albeit emergency) and they've honestly not been that bad and recovery a breeze. Managed to breastfeed them both too if that's another thing you're worried about. Best of luck.

Greentriangle82 Sun 12-Jan-14 20:49:34

Yanbu if that's how you feel then go for it. I found my elective section a thousand times easier both mentally and physically. Good luck

Rigbyroo Sun 12-Jan-14 20:49:51

Thank you livingmydream, I'm reading up a lot and it's quite terrifying but I feel it's the best option for me. I'm going to try and be really determined and I definitely think going with the knowledge will help. Thank you.

WillBeatJanuaryBlues Sun 12-Jan-14 20:50:27

Its your body I think you have every right to say you have tried labour, it has butchered your body, left you traumatised and you would like to have a section...

CeliaLytton Sun 12-Jan-14 20:50:46

YANBU to want a cesarean and you should be able to get one without too much trouble as long as you are willing to keep asking until someone agrees. But in your OP you also ask for second birth stories which makes me think that you want to explore the options.

After my first birth, I swore I would never do it again. Long second stage, big baby, tearing, exhaustion, stitches instead of newborn cuddles. But lots of my friends told me their second time success stories and I came round to the idea that I could do it. I knew I wanted an epidural if I were to have another natural delivery and was adamant about it from arrival at hospital. I then had another long second stage, forceps but no pain or exhaustion as I was able to rest.

I would never try to dissuade a woman who had already made up her mind about a c section but if you want to hear options, they are out there.

I hope things go well whatever you decide and that you can make peace with a decision quickly and enjoy your pregnancy.

livingmydream612 Sun 12-Jan-14 20:51:27

Also recovery a little painful but manageable and I bf my daughter also. Had csec on wed and released of the friday. 30 weeks not to late to request, as I said thats when I got my requested consultant and date for csec.

nickEcave Sun 12-Jan-14 20:51:41

I had a c-section with my first DD as I had a 3 day induction which didn't start labour. I was very frightened of labour (which was reinforced when my DD was delivered with a head on the 99th centile!)With my second DD 3 years later I requested a c-section from day one. I wasn't able to get it definitely confirmed by a consultant until about 30 weeks, but I didn't meet with any substantial opposition, and I had no medical reason for requiring one.

Rigbyroo Sun 12-Jan-14 20:51:45

Very helpful, thank you. I'm still mentally 'getting over' the birth, so I definitely think this is right choice. Do you think anyone will think I'm less of a mother for not doing it naturally? I've read that some people have. Had really negative responses for choosing c-section.

GuernseyTeddy Sun 12-Jan-14 20:51:57

You can have one if you insist.

DS's delivery was awful - two failed epidurals. It just got to the point where I lost all confidence in the delivery team and demanded a CS. They tried to persuade me to having monitoring, ventouse etc but I wasn't letting them anywhere near me to try anything. I was in so much pain that I needed lifting onto the surgical table for the spinal block. If I'd been in less pain, I'd have also insisted on a GA. He had a 10 on his APGAR so it can't have done him that much harm.

If ever there is a next one, I'll be having an elcs. And preferably be in France where it's routine.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Sun 12-Jan-14 20:52:11

If having a planned CS would help you then push for one. It is YOUR pregnancy and YOUR birth experience.

No, 30 weeks is not too late to book a CS. It's not too late until you go into labour!

Having said that, I had a horrific drawn out labour and birth with DS1 & would have opted for a CS with DS2 if I'd been given a choice. I wasn't & ended up having a relatively easy vaginal delivery. With DC3, I was not at all scared of a natural delivery & DD arrived within 15 mins!

One bad experience does not mean you will have another. But if you want a CS by all means push for one.

Rigbyroo Sun 12-Jan-14 20:53:28

Part of me wants to try again and I love hearing second birth stories. I have moments when I think, I can do it this time but I actually don't think I can!

GuernseyTeddy Sun 12-Jan-14 20:54:25

And everyone is different re recovery. 6 days after my caesarian I was back in heels, and happily out shopping and carrying DSs carseat around. Was out and about 3 days post delivery, although a little sore for the first week.

HarderToKidnap Sun 12-Jan-14 20:55:57

Third degree tear is often an indication for CS. I don't think you'll have a problem getting one.

However, would you think about some sort of compromise? I only ask because first labours are often very hard. Long, grim labours ending in instruments happen relatively frequently the first time a woman gives birth. However, they rarely happen the second time. We frequently have women delivering in the car park/lift etc as their first labour was so long they assumed they would have plenty of time to get in! Pretty much every day at work I deliver a second time mum who SHINES with amazement and happiness that her second labour was so quick and easy compared to her first. And of course you have the benefits of a quicker recovery, less risk to you etc.

One of our consultants compares first births to an investment. They are hard and long. The payback, the benefit of going through a hard long labour is that the second one is quick and easy. By opting for a section, she says, you lose the benefit and payback of that first experience.

An option could be a labour with a low threshold for intervention... So if you are having a long latent phase, you abandon the attempt and have a section. Epidural on request as soon as possible. Short pushing stage, say 30 minutes and if baby not delivered or delivering imminently then section. That sort of thing. Truly, it's likely you will have a quick and easy delivery this time, so maybe preserve that chance with a detailed birth plan written with consultant and the supervisor of midwives that you revert to section as soon it looks like not being quick and easy?

Just something to think about. Best of luck with it all and I hope you get the delivery you want x

BikeRunSki Sun 12-Jan-14 20:56:13

Cs recovery can be long - with dd I couldn't stand up straight for 9 weeks. This was a crash emcs after abandoned vbac though. Ds was a normal emcs. Still 4 weeks recovery. Recovery time may be something to think about if you have older children.

livingmydream612 Sun 12-Jan-14 20:56:14

Sorry one last thing. Do not say you think you want a csec. Tell them you want a csec. If they think you have any doubt then they will push you to reconsider a vag del. Rigbyroo I agree re the information available on net is scary, I looked into both vag and csec and I was terrified that soo many women had to have forceps/cut etc that I wasnt willing to take the risk with a natural birth. That will sound crazy to some, but it was the right thing to do for me.

RufusTheReindeer Sun 12-Jan-14 21:01:05

Babies two and three were ecs

Out in 48 hours with no pain relief with dd and out in 26 hours doped up to the gills with ds2

I felt back to normal quicker with the c sections but that might have been because they weren't my first baby/labour

Hope it goes well, I'm sure it will

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 12-Jan-14 21:01:55

Do you think anyone will think I'm less of a mother for not doing it naturally?

If they do that makes them a twat.

Mushypeasandchipstogo Sun 12-Jan-14 21:02:15

Go for it! I was anxious to have a CS for various reasons and I had expected lots of opposition from GP and midwife. They couldn't have been more supportive, especially my female GP, and it was the best decision I could have made!

Fairylea Sun 12-Jan-14 21:02:59

I will come back and post properly as soon as I I can (toddler up and down like a yo yo!) But essentially I had a similar first labour to you (3 days long!) And I opted for an elcs with my second baby ten years later as I found the thought of going through another labour absolutely terrifying.

I had to see two consultants. First one fucking arse who made me feel like an idiot. I wrote letter of complaint to hospital about him and he then referred me to another.one. I said if I didn't have a c section I would be suing the hospital for mental distress caused. I made sure they knew I knew the risks etc. I was very firm. They booked.me in there and then for 38 weeks.

Don't be afraid to argue your case. Make it crystal clear you know the risks, you need this etc.

My elcs was amazing..I loved it and bonded with ds instantly (unlike with dd where I had severe pnd and birth trauma ptsd). The recovery from the elcs was better than with the difficult vaginal birth.

I hope you get the birth you want.

Silvercatowner Sun 12-Jan-14 21:03:41

Of course you wouldn't be less of a mother. Your body, your choice. If it is what you want then go for it.

Worried3 Sun 12-Jan-14 21:05:31

Dr here- yes, you can request an elective section and you can get one without a clinical requirement for one.

Please be aware though that your doctor is obliged to tell you all the risks before agreeing to it- it's not us trying to scare you, but it is our job to give you the facts and advise you accordingly (last week I had a patient get very upset when explaining the risks for consent purposes, as she thought I was trying to put her off by scaring her). Usually, we do advise vaginal births unless there is a reason not to, but with the new guidance elective sections are offered at maternal request.

Ultimately, you have to weigh up the risk of vaginal birth vs risks of section (including implications for future pregnancies, if you plan to have more) and make your own choices about what is best for you.

livingmydream612 Sun 12-Jan-14 21:06:13

Rigbyroo many women are harsh on women who have elcs. Tbh I never cared anf openly tell people I had an elcs just for fun and you can see them judging me while i tell them why i did it. It didnt matter to me what people think. I have to live with my body for life. And birth is only a birth, I think its more important to be a good mammy. Good luck. X

Mushypeasandchipstogo Sun 12-Jan-14 21:07:40

I should have added that I never had any problems with a consultant as I only saw him after an early scan it was all discussed with GP and midwife.

InPursuitOfOblivion Sun 12-Jan-14 21:11:45

You will come across negativity from others about asking for a CS but who gives a flying fuck? -- Better than a shredded vagina! (Possibly) --

RudolphtheRedknowsraindear Sun 12-Jan-14 21:12:45

I miscarried my 1st baby at 4 months. I've been lucky enough to have 2 children naturally after that. But, that is what it is, sheer luck; I did nothing differently in pregnancies 2 & 3.

A friend of mine said she was having the aromatherapy room & a birthing pool. When she asked me what I was having I said, "all being well, a baby."

For me that's it in a nutshell, what do you want, an xyz birth or a baby?
You are the Mum, you have carried, loved & known your baby for 9 months. You should do what only you can know is the best type of birth for your baby.

As far as I'm aware, no medals are given out for what type of birth you have.

Make your decision based on your knowledge of your own body & your baby. Nothing & nobody else should influence this decision. I look forward, in a few months, to hearing your wonderful news. thanks

Bumbez Sun 12-Jan-14 21:13:41

I had a 3rd degree tear following a normal delivery with first baby and for that reason requested an elective lscs with 2nd.

I don't recall anyone trying to talk me out of it. However it took much longer to recover from the lscs, not helped by having a 2 year old to care for. I still sometimes regret that I didn't try for a normal delivery. Hth

Fairylea Sun 12-Jan-14 21:17:33

I've never had any negativity about my elcs by the way. Everyone has been really supportive- and envious!

Crazeeladee Sun 12-Jan-14 21:17:45

See if your unit has a consultant midwife, they can go through all your previous labour with you and debrief you, go through all the options and help you to make the right decision for you. If that right decision is a section, that's fine, but you'll have done it with fully informed choice and spending time with someone going through it all .

herethereandeverywhere Sun 12-Jan-14 21:20:11

YANBU.

A few thoughts:

1) There are loads of threads in the Childbirth section (or have been in the past) about wanting and how to get an ELCS. Do a search, there's some great advice.
2) Yes, the NICE guidelines have changed but they're ignored by departments trying to reduce their CS rate so you are much more likely to come up against resistance than find a consultant that simply accepts your request (in the experience of those posting on MN) so you usually need to put up a fight. I'd be wary about leaving the request process until 30 weeks.
3) I'd be wary about leaving the request process until 30 weeks. It's much easier to bulldoze you into accepting what the consultant/hospital want when you feel time is running out and you have no choice. I requested my first consultant appointment at my booking in and persuaded my midwife to accelerate my 2nd opinion (after the first one watched me sob, listened to my case them wrote utter bollocks in my notes).
4) I'd be wary about the 'compromise' suggested by HardertoKidnap if it's a CS that you want. Once you are in labour you are too vunerable to argue if you're told you can't have a CS as it's too late/theatre is busy/baby is too low/ whatever excuse they feel like. You will still also experience (some of) the pain and exhaustion of labour with this option.
5) Take notes at the consultant appointment. Go with your partner and a pre-written case for why you want ELCS to jog your memory. If you are refused tell them you would like it recorded in your notes that your preferred method of birth is being refused and that you are being forced into a VB against your wishes. If they refuse to write that put it in writing yourself and attach it to your notes.
6) 2nd births are usually easier. But not all of them are and there seemed to be no science out there to be able to predict whether I was going to fall into the lucky or unlucky camp. There is inherent uncertainty with VB. With CS there are risks but you can know the exact stats for those risks (and so the relative likelihood of them happening) ahead of time.

Good luck and do post in Childbirth if you want some support for your consultant appointment/s.

cerealqueen Sun 12-Jan-14 21:20:39

I was exactly like you, I dreaded giving birth again. I had same tears, ventouse, enormous blood loss, (transfusion) very long second stage. I suggest you speak to your (hopefully sympathetic) midwife and talk through with her. That helps.
I really wanted a c-section. I thought I'd get one for medical reasons, placenta issues, too big a baby, anything really. Didn't work out for me but you go for what you want, and keep asking.

If you do have a vaginal birth, write a birthplan and talk her through it. Ask for your notes to so you can see what happened. Its easy to forget.
What helped me most was practising my breathing and having a mantra, something I said in my head at height of contractions and when pushing. I never thought I'd push out another 9lb baby with no help, but I did it.

Good luck.

mumaa Sun 12-Jan-14 21:37:58

YANBU

Go with what you feel comfortable with, remember things have changed and it is now your right to choose. I had ELCS due to baby being breach and it was genuinely a great experience. Very calm and everything explained, recovery was good, just be sure to follow the advice.

In my view it's better you go with what you are happy with and be more relaxed for the remainder of your pregnancy.

Snatchoo Sun 12-Jan-14 21:48:14

YANBU.

I don't agree with CS by choice unless it's for these types of reasons. I think in your case you are only being sensible!

Wibblypiglikesbananas Sun 12-Jan-14 21:49:40

Hi, DC1 was vaginal, 3rd degree tear and I was scared of the same thing with DC2. DC2 was breech so there was no choice re a c-section. And I was very relieved about that!

I had DC2 in the US where c-sections are ten a penny and there is much less resistance to them than in the UK (they're good money spinners for the insurance companies, after all). Like the UK, 3rd degree tears won't necessarily lead to a recommendation for a c-section, but are certainly taken into consideration if you request one.

In your position, I would go for the c-section every time. Quick, pain free and whilst everyone bangs on about the major operation angle, they're also pretty much the most commonly performed op. 12 weeks on, all is well, DC2 is exc. breastfed and doing well - 95%ile for weight - and for me, from a psychological point of view, my vagina is still intact! I wrote this on another thread recently but given the choice, I'd rather have stitches in my stomach! Good luck!

Lilacroses Sun 12-Jan-14 22:00:49

Yanbu at all. I could've written your op. Dd's birth was just as you describe. I was so traumatised by it I said I'd never have another. Anyway, I never got pregnant again but I would've fought for a ecs. My sil had a similar experience first time and an ecs the second time and it was so much better. Good luck op.

I was booked in for an ELCS at 38 weeks, so an appointment at 30 weeks should be fine I would have thought. They don't like to book you in too early for some reason. I got one even though their diaries were totally full - I just got added onto a gynae list instead.

Laurel1979 Sun 12-Jan-14 22:19:53

YANBU, I imagine you'll be offered a section from your history in any case. When I did my obstetric training, it was usually discussed at the 34 week appointment, with the section being booked at 39 weeks. Every unit has different appointment schedules though, so I'd recommend checking with your midwife when you'll be due to see the consultant next.

MairyHoles Sun 12-Jan-14 22:33:22

Hi, I'm on phone so this will be brief but you have had good advice regarding your rights when asking.

I personally would insist on a CS in your situation, the earlier the better for your peace of mind. I had 3rd degree tear with number 1 and my consultant (known to be very conservative and actually IMO quite anti-section) encouraged me to have a VB with number 2. I spent the pregnancy fretting and worrying and second guessing my choice (i felt that I could have pursued it further and I acknowledge that the VB was my choice) and I was quite anxious and miserable. That delivery ended in a forceps delivery and a lesser category 3rd degree tear. Although it wasn't apparently as severe it took far longer to recover from and was, quite frankly, the most awful few weeks of my life, unable to walk anywhere for more than a few minutes, couldn't lift the buggy into car etc, I was basically housebound. I found the debrief with the consultant helpful but he told me the risk of the same tearing happening with subsequent pregnancies was so minimal that he would expect me to push if I found myself pregnant again. Coupled with the fact that the hospital didn't do epidurals I decided with my 3rd pregnancy to change to a different hospital. On first meeting with the consultant he agreed readily to an ELCS. I did the school run with toddler and newborn 4 days post section. It was far easier and less painful to recover from.

I don't mean to scare you, just sharing my story. Press for a CS if this is what you want, you will enjoy your pregnancy far more without worrying. I am only now getting help for problems caused by the birth of number 2 and I wish I had trusted my gut and been more firm re the CS. On the other hand, they are right when they say that the majority of subsequent pregnancies don't end in another 3rd degree tear tries my best to give a non-biased view and not terrify you! Good luck

RaspberryRuffle Sun 12-Jan-14 22:34:38

OP, request your CS firmly and with your reasons stated clearly, bring someone with you for backup.

Harder to Kidnap I hope that consultant doesn't categorically state taht 2nd births are always easier. "*One of our consultants compares first births to an investment. They are hard and long. The payback, the benefit of going through a hard long labour is that the second one is quick and easy. By opting for a section, she says, you lose the benefit and payback of that first experience*. I actually think this is a really irresponsible thing to say to someone who's been through a traumatic first birth (or any traumatic birth experience). How much worse would someoen feel if this 2nd birth did not bring 'payback'.

Livingmydream glad to hear your medical team were willing to listen to you, the patient, about how YOU gave birth.

TimeToPassGo Sun 12-Jan-14 22:37:20

I had an ELCS for a long list of reasons. I found the recovery very painful and was over-optimistic about it, partly because I read so many threads online where people said they were out weeding the garden 3 days later.

Some people are very lucky with CS recovery and others aren't. However the actual CS is fine. I found recovery painful but was able to breastfeed without difficulty. No long term effects either unlike friends who are still suffering with birth injuries. Good luck OP.

Purplepoodle Sun 12-Jan-14 22:41:53

My second birth was the best birth after a horrible long saga with dc1 ended up with ventouse and a messed up episiotomy.

Second time round, dh was briefed and ready to take control. Hypnobirthing relaxation dc's worked wonders as did the classes in breathing (I was very sceptical but it was brilliant)

Feartheescalator Sun 12-Jan-14 22:44:34

My first labour was very similar to yours and left me with severe feelings of failure and PND. I was terrified to go through it again and I requested a CS at my 12 week appointment, they referred me to consultant midwife who tried to dissuade me by outlining risks of CS. I pointed out that all data available on CS risk relates to emergency sections and therefore it is a risk of natural labour and told her I still wanted CS. She asked me to think about and come back. This went on 3 times. I was then referred to consultant and eventually I was scheduled for CS. It was an amazing experience. i had no fear and I bonded with DD2 straight away. I will never forget the feeling of triumph, relief and shear happiness I had in the recovery room while holding DD2. Recovery was so much easier than after my natural delivery and I was back to normal within a couple of weeks. I would never tell anyone else what to do but in my case it was the right choice.

WillBeatJanuaryBlues Sun 12-Jan-14 22:50:08

Do you think anyone will think I'm less of a mother for not doing it naturally? I've read that some people have

Yes people will judge you, they are just sheeples who don't think about anything or even why they think what they do, so do you care?

My ELC second time round has made me a far better mother, because I wasn't traumatised this time, I wasn't battered and bruised and in shock, physically and mentally, I was not scared and wondering will it all be ok will I get through this or will something go wrong... my hormones also seemed more settled, so I wasn't a wreck, I wasn't tired and could actually tend to my baby, and I was able to establish BF this time.

Rigbyroo Mon 13-Jan-14 08:17:22

Wow, thanks so much for responses, you've already given me more knowledge and confidence to go to appointment stronger. Thank you. Lovely to hear your stories and I'm sorry so many of you had difficult births too.

BrickorCleat Mon 13-Jan-14 09:34:34

Do you think anyone will think I'm less of a mother for not doing it naturally?

If you give birth to a chair or baboon, perhaps.

Otherwise, by the wonder of modern medical advancement you've made a choice which is right for you and your baby.

It's the stuff that comes afterwards that REALLY matters! Good luck with your lovely adventure!

IrrelevantSquirrel Mon 13-Jan-14 09:40:22

I had a third degree tear and was told that meant I would be offered a CS for any subsequent deliveries. So I don't think you should have any problems requesting one.

YoniOneKenobi Mon 13-Jan-14 13:25:17

I'm currently 28 weeks and will go for my 6th appointment with a consultant this week. I've seen three junior doctors (none with any authority to approve a csection). First consultant said no, but did say I've 90% chance of getting elcs, second consultant who also said no, but again said it was more than likely I'd get elcs, and referred me back to original consultant who I see this week. I had a terrible first birth and consequently am unwilling to take the unknown risks again. I have researched the pros and cons and feel this is the right choice for me. Hopefully, this next appointment will finalise what has been said at the last two appointments. It does seem rather a waste of doctors time though.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Mon 13-Jan-14 14:23:26

Having had one child in the UK and one in the US, all the approval stuff for c-sections in the UK does strike me as a bit crazy now. Here (in the US) you can literally get your diary out and schedule your c-section around work/other commitments. Now, obviously the NHS is somewhat different, but given women are meant to be able to choose whether they have a c-section or not, why is there so much discussion/so many attempts to dissuade? Surely a woman should have the right to request a c-section (barring medical reasons which would make it unwise) and that be the end of it.
Yoni - here there would have been none of the to-ing and fro-ing you've experienced. I can't help thinking that the stress of not knowing in the meantime must be bad for both you and baby.

Afritutu Mon 13-Jan-14 16:28:38

First labour 36 hours. Waters had gone, but labour didn't progress. In a tonne of pain getting no where, ended up with epidural and mammoth 2 hour plus pushing. So much vomiting was awful. Second time was so so different. Very quick labour, got to 10 cm without realising it, pushed baby out in 20 mins on gas and air. My body knew what to do, it was so much easier

Shitehawke Mon 13-Jan-14 17:51:11

If youre anything like me, once you have the thumbs up for as csection, you will relax and probably consider a vaginal birth with a more open mind. I think fear of being 'made' to face your birth fears again are making you panic a bit.

CheshirePanda Mon 13-Jan-14 21:00:09

It's your right under the NICE guidelines to choose a CS. You don't need any special medical conditions....the drs will just need to make sure you understand the various risks with CS vs vaginal delivery (some risks are higher with CS, some are higher with vaginal delivery - my consultant said its pretty equal)

In my experience there was no resistance from the consultant at all. When I told the midwife I wanted a CS, she made me an appt with the consultant ( as is the procedure). I went expecting resistance, and Took a printout of the NICE rules, with the relevant parts highlighted. Almost literally he said 'you want a CS? Right ok. He explained the risks and then got the calendar out and offered me 2 dates.

In my experience, midwives will try to persuade you to go for Vaginal birth. I found a firm no thanks did the trick. If you can quote a few statistics from the NICE guidelines showing you've read them that also shuts them up pretty fast!

I was invited to a meeting with a senior midwife at the hospital. The aim was to ensure I really understood the pros and cons of my decision. I phoned her, said I understood the risks, had discussed them with the consultant and wouldn't be coming to see her (waste of my time, and I also told her i didn't appreciate getting the hard sell on vaginal birth from midwives). She wasn't thrilled, but wasn't rude or aggressive. She wrote me a quick letter just confirming we had discussed this and I was happy to go ahead, which was fine.

As for comments from friends/acquaintances, just smile sweetly and say you're too posh to push. This gives them nowhere to go with any snide comments.

The actual CS was a doodle. I was nervous but it was absolutely fine. Talking to many friends who had vaginal births almost all said it was horrific or at least pretty awful. I was going for tiny walks after 4 days and by 7 days walked up the road and back (500m?). Did 2 miles on the second week. However, I don't know how you would deal with a toddler (if you have one). Lifting them into highchairs etc would be pretty difficult in the early days.

It's your choice. My experience was extremely good. I would have one again in a flash.

Good luck!

cardamomginger Mon 13-Jan-14 21:27:16

Not read the whole thread, but go for it. Read the NICE and RCOG guidelines. Have you had any bowel problems after you gave birth? (You don;t have to tell us, if you don;t want to!). Because I think if you ever had any faecal incontinence, it's pretty much a slam-dunk for ELCS. If you are incontinent of wind, that would also work in your favour.

Best of luck.

living - I wish to fuck I'd been like you. I let myself be talked into the 'natural' birth route and gave birth to DD vaginally in September 2010. Three major operations later and I am still having trauma therapy and medical treatment. A second DC is out of the question sad. I applaud you for doing what I did not.

tigerpug Mon 13-Jan-14 22:49:11

Awful 'natural' delivery with dc1, ending in forceps, major bruising to dc and prolapse for me. Traumatised for a long time. 3 years later (8weeks ago) i had dc2 by elcs and it was a truly fantastic, amazing experience. Totally relaxed, painfree and happy. Dc2 bfed straight away. My recovery was quick. Im so pleased i didnt listen to my midwifes advice....

NicE1 Mon 13-Jan-14 23:08:11

I had an elective C Section and it was definitely the right decision for me.

The procedure itself was not scary - I felt no pain at any point and the staff were all lovely. I did skin to skin with my son on theatre and again in recovery , and also breast fed in recovery.

I was up walking that same night and had my cannula and catheter out the following morning.

I stayed in hospital for three nights to get breastfeeding established. The pain was well managed and not bad at all.

Once home I never had any problem lifting and caring for my son. He is now 11 weeks old and has been exclusively breast fed throughout. I took him to baby massage classes from a week old and was driving within three weeks of the op.

If you feel a C Section is the right decision for you then it is - trust your instinct and ignore anyone who tries to influence that. Once I had made the decision I was able to relax and look forward to meeting my son without the fear I had been feeling about a VD.

You will know in your gut what is right for you - trust that and ignore anyone trying to persuade you that it will be easier for you to have a VD second time around.

Good luck x

livingmydream612 Mon 13-Jan-14 23:41:19

Cardamomginger your experience sounds awful and I am so sorry your still recovering from your birth. Its bloody awful... That was one of the reasons why I forced a elcs. My mum had 3 kids and cannot go 30 mins without needing the toilet and she is only In her 40's. I feel so sorry for all the ladies traumatic birth experiences that I have read and researched. I am also sorry you cannot have baby no2. We live and learn but im sure thAt means fuck all when you have suffered in the way you and many women hAve. Sorry for errors on phone.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now