To have unprotected sex even though we don't want to conceive.

(70 Posts)
Seekingsense Sun 12-Jan-14 19:42:34

Planning to ttc in the near future so had Mirena coil removed in November so I could give my cycles chance to regulate prior to ttc.

Definitely do not want to conceive until at least March (various reasons).

LMP was 1st January and previous cycle was 38 days long. Been monitoring LH levels and no LH surge today.

Had a 'special' evening planned for DH and found out an hour ago that we've run out of condoms shock Local shop does not sell them and nearest supermarket is 30 minute drive away!

WIBU to go for it anyway? Realistically, I'm unlikely to conceive at this point in my cycle, am I?

Ahhhhh. Frustrated.

thenightsky Sun 12-Jan-14 19:43:53

Ah just do it. I did. Got pregnant instantly grin

NatashaBee Sun 12-Jan-14 19:44:45

It depends how definite you are about not wanting to conceive smile do you have a pub nearby? They usually have machines in the men's toilets.

Only have unprotected sex if you are willing to get pregnant

I don't care where I am on my cycle I never have unprotected because there is no way in the world I would be happy to have another child

TwatWeevil Sun 12-Jan-14 19:45:03

You are about 99.99% guaranteed to get pregnant if you do.

I wasn't ovulating when we conceived DC2...grin

FalalalalalalaFiggy Sun 12-Jan-14 19:45:22

If you thinking about it soon anyway why not (says I who got pg last year on exactly the type of evening you suggesting in similar circumstances)

I thought I didn't need to bother going into the next room to get my diaphragm.
DS thought otherwise, only risk it if conception wouldn't be a disaster, it wasn't for me, just earlier than planned.

BigBirthdayGloom Sun 12-Jan-14 19:47:29

Thing is, even with no surge today, you could get one tomorrow and the sperm would still be ready and waiting. If the reasons are really strong to wait til march then either postpone the "special evening" for an hour while one of you goes to the supermarket and back. If not-go for it.

BertieBowtiesAreCool Sun 12-Jan-14 19:47:46

Can't you ask him to get some on the way home from work? Root around in drawers etc grin are there really none in the local shop, they may have them behind the counter.

Misfitless Sun 12-Jan-14 19:48:10

How important is it not to conceive till March?

You must have set that deadline for very specific reasons.

If you'll be pleased to conceive tonight, go for it...otherwise, it's a no-brainer, surely?

Sure go for it. Autumn babies are the oldest in the school year grin

Misfitless Sun 12-Jan-14 19:49:07

Sorry to be so boring and practical...I've no room to talk, believe me!

ShreddedHoops Sun 12-Jan-14 19:49:48

You say yourself that your cycles aren't yet regular due to the coil, so it's definitely a risk. I guess if it were a disaster if you got pg though you wouldn't be asking, so go for it! Just make sure you do a POAS thread in a fortnight wink

Having said that, DH and I avoided sex for a week each month before we ttc, then when we targeted ovulation time then I got pregnant first time. So I do quite like the rhythm method or whatever you want to call it, as long as it's not essential that you don't fall pg. but if your cycles are irregular then you can't realistically know when you're ovulating until they settle down.

zizzo Sun 12-Jan-14 19:50:10

You don't have to go all the way, you know!

Oral, MM, etc.?

PicardyThird Sun 12-Jan-14 19:51:27

We used the rhythm/calendar method successfully for several years, but I had very regular cycles of the textbook 28-day-give-or-take-a-day-or-two type and so was able to predict which period wouldn't be safe and give it a wide berth (or condoms) with a day-ish either side for safety.

I wouldn't have risked it in your situation if I really, really didn't want to get pregnant.

Now to March is only two months. Does it make that much difference?

BertieBowtiesAreCool Sun 12-Jan-14 19:52:07

You could.just have anal sex grin

Thegreatunslept Sun 12-Jan-14 19:53:50

My friend thought the same got pregnant the 1st month after coil was removed.

newyearhere Sun 12-Jan-14 19:55:39

Sperm can live for a few days, so even if you don't ovulate for a few more days, you could still get pregnant. The egg only lives for 12-24 hours after it's released.

WitchWay Sun 12-Jan-14 19:57:41

It's nearly March - relax!

Rosencrantz Sun 12-Jan-14 19:58:03

I'd do it. You want a baby right?

If you categorically didn't want a child, you wouldn't be considering this. But you do, so do it.

If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. You don't need to actively try until March, but up until then you can not not try, Iyswim?

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Sun 12-Jan-14 19:58:30

YWBU, you would be daft.

You want to wait until March so why are you doing the opposite?

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Sun 12-Jan-14 19:59:18

YWNOT BU

Seekingsense Sun 12-Jan-14 20:01:09

The difference of a couple of months makes a massive financial difference with contractual mat pay entitlement etc. so the sensible answer is that I'm obviously being unreasonable, aren't I?

I've had some wine so can't drive to supermarket. DH is apparently in the mood, but not enough to be arsed to do an hour round trip hmm

Will have to come up with something else to do this evening wink

BertieBowtiesAreCool last time we tried that, it didn't agree with me.

WitchWay Sun 12-Jan-14 20:03:31

Give him a blow job

Famzilla Sun 12-Jan-14 20:03:51

I "wasn't ovulating" when the condom split, 2 days after coming off the pill.

I'm now a mother.

You could do 99% ie everything but the deed. Lots of fun grin

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Sun 12-Jan-14 20:06:56

As that is your reason it would be crazy to risk it. One 5 minute fumble worth losing ££££?

MammaTJ Sun 12-Jan-14 20:08:12

I fell pregnant with DD1 the day my period ended. The doctor said I couldn't possibly but I know I did.

I told her I hoped she was never going to be responsible for giving contraceptive advice to teens.

ShadowFall Sun 12-Jan-14 20:08:54

Only go for it if you're happy to get pregnant now.

If you really strongly feel that you don't want to conceive before March, then don't risk it.

Our local petrol station sells condoms BTW, so if you've a nearby petrol stations that's worth a try. Most supermarkets will be closed by this time on a Sunday anyway.

I got pregnant with DS2 2 weeks before we started TTC according to the NHS.
There is some evidence that some people may ovulate more than once a cycle too.

Dahlen Sun 12-Jan-14 20:13:35

Would two months really make all that much difference?

Although it's controversial, for women lucky enough to have a clockwork-regular cycle, who are very aware of their body and where they are in their cycle, natural family planning is very effective. The trouble is that many, many women don't fall into that category and your 38-day cycle doesn't make you sound particularly regular. Furthermore, the most variable part of the cycle tends to be the pre-ovulation bit that you're in now. It would be a risky move.

I second the nearest pub option. Are you sure you don't have any condoms lurking in an overnight bag somewhere?

But you don't have to have penetrative sex you know. wink

ComposHat Sun 12-Jan-14 20:24:03

I don't know what the op wants anyone to say.

If you have unprotected sex you run the eidk of getting pregnant.

We know that, she knows that.

What elde is there to add?

LouSend Sun 12-Jan-14 20:24:58

I had a very regular cycle, usually felt ovulation and used the rhythm method. Got pregnant.

Dd2 was a long time ttc. The month we had people staying and were sharing a room with DD was the one month we knew we would have no hope of conceiving. That was the month I got pregnant.

If you don't want a baby don't have unprotected sex.

WaitMonkey Sun 12-Jan-14 20:25:17

Never have unprotected sex unless you are willing to be pregnant. If you don't want to conceive before March don't do it. Plenty of other stuff you could do.

wobblyweebles Sun 12-Jan-14 21:10:32

Well I've got pregnant every month in which I've had unprotected sex so I'd say no.

LadyMaryofDownton Sun 12-Jan-14 21:13:54

Goodness just do it, & this is very crude but can't he just, you know..... Pull out?!

Mabelandrose Sun 12-Jan-14 21:14:17

I had unprotected sex ONCE (thinking I was very safe and not ovulating). Yep, I'm pregnant! It only takes one time.

Tulip26 Sun 12-Jan-14 21:25:37

I've been told it might take a year after coming off depo for my periods to return. I was meant to have my injection on 8th Jan. Got my period today. Sometimes the human body does strange, unpredictable things.

Don't take the risk, do a 69 wink

Coldlightofday Sun 12-Jan-14 21:27:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nojustalurker Sun 12-Jan-14 21:29:28

Yes you are bu to have unprotected sex if you don't want to get pregnant but are you sure ou don't want to get pregnant?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparkleToffee Sun 12-Jan-14 21:35:48

It took me 2 years to get pregnant with DS..... So when we had one "accident" when he was 6 months old, I really didn't stress about it.... And that's how I got pregnant with DD. if it makes s massive difference to mat pay then don't do it.

ComposHat Sun 12-Jan-14 21:35:48

Ladymary you get an often undetected release of sperm before the main ejaculation.

Hence the old line about 'what do you call people who use the withdrawal method of contraception?'

Parents.

StupidMistakes Sun 12-Jan-14 21:38:50

withdrawal method although we all know that don't work Or if you live close to me I have plenty, feel free to come have some of mine <I have more than enough believe me, I wouldn't miss 5 or 6>

StupidMistakes Sun 12-Jan-14 21:41:19

OP have you got anyone you could message and ask if they have that live walking distance from you? My best friend and me would both feel comfortable asking, and actually will get them and swap flavours etc to our liking. WE HAVE NO SHAME

LadyMaryofDownton Sun 12-Jan-14 21:44:07

Really, guess we have just been lucky then, two years and counting!! takes a few steps away from DH

Ok don't do that, it's very silly.

AngelsInWinter Sun 12-Jan-14 21:45:22

Get him to pull out?

summertimeandthelivingiseasy Sun 12-Jan-14 21:46:02

Outercourse!

Chunderella Sun 12-Jan-14 21:47:41

One up the bum, no harm done. Alternatively, go and have a cold shower!

Grumpasaurus Sun 12-Jan-14 21:59:47

have sex and then go to your pharmacy tomorrow to get the morning after pill. And while you are there, by some condoms.

Grumpasaurus Sun 12-Jan-14 22:01:35

have sex and then go to your pharmacy tomorrow to get the morning after pill. And while you are there, by some condoms.

Mellowandfruitful Sun 12-Jan-14 22:04:04

Just go for a non PIV alternative. Might make a nice change! grin

morethanpotatoprints Sun 12-Jan-14 22:08:16

YANBU

You can't always plan a child just when you want to, so as long as you don't mind when you conceive then why not.
We have 3 dc and just let nature take its course, no contraception unless we definitely didn't want one at that time. But never actually planned any grin

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 12-Jan-14 22:09:18

Could you get the MAP in the morning.

Not 100% safe though.

Mellowandfruitful Sun 12-Jan-14 22:12:11

But wouldn't the MAP potentially mess up the cycle as well?

Noideaatall Sun 12-Jan-14 22:16:16

Don't rely on the morning after pill. That & a split condom are the reason I had DS2.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 12-Jan-14 22:17:27

It might, didn't with me after a condom split.

Iwillorderthefood Sun 12-Jan-14 22:18:14

Don't do it, am pg wiith DC3 as did not think it was possible.

Showy Sun 12-Jan-14 22:20:17

The danger with withdrawal isn't the risk of sperm in pre-ejaculatory fluid for the vast majority of men. Research suggests that most men do not leak sperm and the risk is from two ejaculations without urination in between. It's still in the pipes iyswim. Research shows perfect use of withdrawal is highly effective. It doesn't work as well as it should due to men not pulling out in time. There are a few exceptions to this of course but for a disciplined couple, it's a valid choice.

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA Sun 12-Jan-14 22:21:05

Get him to pull it out that didn't result in DD2, oh no

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA Sun 12-Jan-14 22:23:28

Gosh, im not sure i would plan on the MAP! all those hormones - no thanks, as an EMERGENCY form of contraception, fine, but aren;t you supposed to only have it three times?

If you really don't want to get pregnant then don't take a risk, but if it would just not be the right month then go for it and accept whatever fate throws at you.

ShreddedHoops Sun 12-Jan-14 22:30:15

Oh no please don't use the MaP, I have used it a few times in my erm more carefree days, and it made me sick as a dog every time. <shudders at the memory> and yes it will further mess with your cycle.

BertieBowtiesAreCool Sun 12-Jan-14 22:42:56

What three times in your life?! I don't think so confused

I've taken it about 3 times already and I'm only 25 blush To be fair they were all in my teens.

thenightsky Sun 12-Jan-14 22:56:54

MAP is vile and I threw up massively both times I took it. It did work though. Phew.

Mabelandrose Mon 13-Jan-14 17:42:58

The map is not 100% reliable.

Neither is any contraception (as I should know! wink )

ItsATIARA Mon 13-Jan-14 17:52:10

MAP and withdrawal aren't 100% reliable but neither are condoms, they're all much of a muchness. 69 OTOH is guaranteed 100% pregnancy free.

Took the pill for 8 years straight. GP said it would take about 6 months to conceive. Took 1 week.

Chunderella Mon 13-Jan-14 18:31:24

I thought it was 3 times in 1 cycle?

Either way, I agree MAP isn't something to use unless you have to. There really are quite a lot of hormones in a dose and it makes many people feel rather rough. It's a great invention and I'm very glad to have had access to it the one time I needed it. But it's called emergency contraception for a reason, it isn't ideal on a regular basis.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Mon 13-Jan-14 18:53:12

have sex and then go to your pharmacy tomorrow to get the morning after pill.""

What ridiculous advice!

"And while you are there, buy some condoms."

Much better advice.

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