I am v cross and don't know if I should be. Mother related!

(29 Posts)
Mothersinarms Tue 24-Dec-13 20:32:41

We live abroad and DH is four months into a long trip away with work for about nine months. He also recently met Gary Barlow (ITV viewers will get the hint). grin
I have flown over with the four children to my mothers after some emotional blackmail and plenty of past history of her being a bit of a demanding pain in the bum.
I am now sitting here on my own on Christmas Eve because my granddad, who normally sleeps down here on Christmas Eve, isn't really well enough to come over and my mother "doesn't think he should wake up alone on Christmas morning" so she is sleeping at his house. They won't be back here until about 10.30am as Granddad is a "slow starter" in the mornings confused
Am I being unseasonable to allow the kids to open all their presents at 7am and start drinking Buck's Fizz before they get back? It's obviously not fun for someone old to wake up alone on Christmas morning but it's also not much fun for me. Granddad is far from deaths' door and it's a bad back which means he can't come and sleep in my mother's unfeasibly soft beds.

sooperdooper Tue 24-Dec-13 20:36:49

Let them open some pressies but save some until they arrive, hide them and bring them out after they get to you

Pancakeflipper Tue 24-Dec-13 20:36:57

I think you need to compromise. Sounds like your mother is trying to please all.
Open some pressies -save some and save some Bucks Fizz. 10.30am is still early. My children have to wait until Boxing Day or after for most of their goodies (thank you weather).

lunar1 Tue 24-Dec-13 20:37:07

Let them open a couple then wait for your grandad. How many more Christmases will he have to see his great grandchildren enjoy Christmas.

Writerwannabe83 Tue 24-Dec-13 20:39:34

I'm not really sure what you're angry about.....

Because you are going to be at the house with your children until 10.30am?

Gruntfuttock Tue 24-Dec-13 20:39:41

Personally I can't see what's wrong with waking up alone on Christmas morning, if you're going to be picked up later and taken to a relative's for Christmas. My mother is 93 and she'll be waking up alone tomorrow morning, as she does every other morning. She will be spending Christmas and Boxing Day with us (me, husband and daughter) but insists on being taken home in the evening so she can sleep in her own bed.

Why can they not wait?

Norwegian kids dont get to open their presents until after Christmas tea, around 6-7 pm!

DesperatelySeekingSanity Tue 24-Dec-13 20:47:49

I'd be a bit miffed too if I'd left my husband and flown to a different country in order to be with my mother for Christmas, and then she had decided to spend the night somewhere else - they could have had Christmas together and you could have saved the flights and not left your husband alone.

Still - at least you know not to bother riding tge guilt trip next time...

Mothersinarms Tue 24-Dec-13 20:49:54

It's not that they can't wait, because clearly they can. It's that Granddad doesn't need someone with him on Christmas morning and we have been bumped down the list again, despite lots of wailing from my mother about how much she misses her grandchildren and how she never gets to see them doing stuff. We are actually here, in her house, and she is choosing to be elsewhere Christmas morning. It's not the first time she has left us sitting in her house alone for the night when we have flown over to see her. It just makes me sad.

mumthetaxidriver Tue 24-Dec-13 21:05:09

An itv viewer so get what you are saying - you must be missing your husband as will your children this Christmas which I think will explain why you are feeling a little upset. But your mum does seen to be trying to keep everyone happy - it wont be easy but try and delay the present opening but do start on the bucks fizz if you feel like - you deserve it! Hope you have a lovely day. Ps did you spot your husband last night? It must have been amazing for them and for all the families to see too - certainly bought a tear to my eyes!

mumthetaxidriver Tue 24-Dec-13 22:00:35

Sorry I should have said delay some of the presents but not all of them - that would be really unfair on your children.

Holdthepage Tue 24-Dec-13 22:36:18

Not sure why you should delay the present opening. If your DM isn't there what's the problem, they are not her children.

birdybear Tue 24-Dec-13 22:39:25

You sound just selfish to be honest. Just wait so all can enjoy. Let them have a couple of presents each to keep the dc happy til the others get there.

Lora1982 Tue 24-Dec-13 22:41:12

We wont be opening anythin til about ten anyway. When I was younger I couldnt even think about touching them until after breakfast sad :-D its sad she wont be there first thing, she's missing out though try not to be angry with her.

P.s I cant get itv so I need a better clue, thanks in advance.

sunbathe Tue 24-Dec-13 22:46:18

You don't sound selfish.

I'd let the kids open the majority of gifts, maybe save a few gifts, as well as your mum's gift and Grandad's?

sunbathe Tue 24-Dec-13 22:48:06

Oh and flowers for making the effort with your mother and it still not being appreciated.

I know how that feels.

Merry Christmas.

Garcia10 Tue 24-Dec-13 22:48:25

Your grandad isn't well and your Mum has gone round to be with him and you are annoyed? Is that right?

Don't see why your husband being away is really relevant in this case. Would you have preferred to spend all day tomorrow alone with your children? If so that what you have ought to have done.

As an adult you have to realise that people have other priorities and that you may have take second place.

I think YABU and also that you need to grow up and accept that the world does not revolve around you.

FluffyJumper Tue 24-Dec-13 22:49:36

Frankly I wouldn't save gifts. If she was bothered she'd be there.

Snowdown Tue 24-Dec-13 23:08:02

It's just shit timing. Your mum is trying to please everyone - I bet she feels really torn. Try to hold it together and hopefully you can all resume festivities when she returns in the morning.

FluffyJumper Tue 24-Dec-13 23:26:34

I don't think your mum sounds like a torn in two people pleaser at all OP.

Jellytotsforme Tue 24-Dec-13 23:32:15

I agree with fluffy jumper. Try not to get upset by it

ComposHat Wed 25-Dec-13 00:10:24

Why not save the presents from your mother and granddad until they arrive and then tjey can watch them unwrap their presents and see their excitement.

Big fuss about nowt if you ask me.

heyarnold Wed 25-Dec-13 00:19:21

Not a big deal IMO.

What does the Gary Barlow and ITV reference mean? Is he a famous singer or presenter or something?

ComposHat Wed 25-Dec-13 00:31:35

I just googled Gary Barlow and ITV and it seems that he played a gig in Afghanistan for the forces. (Resists the temptation to make jokes about haven't those poor people suffered enough) but I think the op is trying to say her husband is in the forces in a roundabout way... or he is Mark Owen.

You need a bit of perspective. You are a grown woman with children of your own.

You have a grandad. You have a fit and able Mother.
Your mother has opted to spend the night with him so he is nog lonely for Christmas. That actually makes it even. You and your grandad both wake up on Christmas morning with their children... They will join you soon.

Appreciate the fact that you have them. You grandad don't be around for ever. Your mum has made the right choice.

Try read some of the threads in the Elderly Parents topic, (mine for example) and you will perhaps feel blessed rather than annoyed.

maddening Wed 25-Dec-13 09:32:10

She has stayed with her dad so he is not alone and you have 4 dc with you so you are not alone. It's only a few hours awake before they get there so don't see thr problem - if you hadn't come over you would be sat in your house as you are now but in an hour you will have you mum and grandad with you too - have a lovely Christmas and enjoy their company smile

AmberLeaf Wed 25-Dec-13 09:38:40

I think I get it, you have gone over to your Mums for christmas so you won't have to wake up 'alone' [as in no other adult, what with your DH being away] and now you are waking up alone in the end?

I can see why you feel put out, but don't let it spoil your day.

Merry Christmas. fsmile

MrsMook Wed 25-Dec-13 09:43:41

The important bit is that the OP lives abroard, has flown home to her "demanding pain in the bum"DM who has then gone for much of the morning. I'm guessing that the OP's first choice of festivities would have been with DH from the information given, but the mother has guilted OP into coming.

I'd pace the presents. 10.30 is a long time to be on standby with early rising, over-hyped children.

Cantabile Wed 25-Dec-13 14:28:21

DD used to play with her stocking stuff! Until dh was ready to let us open presents which could be as late as midday as he was a selfish arse. Once she was old enough to wait, he would be ready about 10. This morning it was 10.30 ish - she's 14 now though.

I think you were being ridiculous and finding problems where none existed.

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