secret santa

(55 Posts)
Lemonfizz Wed 18-Dec-13 18:02:39

I know I probably am being unreasonable but we just had our secret santa today at work. Budget £10 nothing rude. I picked out the hat a lady who has just started with us, so I don't really know her. But I got a nice baylis and harding gift set for her. It was reduced from £18 down to £10. I was really chuffed as it it really nice. Anyway opened mine and it's a cheap gift set from superdrug, probably aimed at young teenage girls. Chocolate bubble bath with a picture of a teddy on it. Price still on £5

I know secret santas are normally crap but must admit I feel it's a bit cheeky to not spend the same budget as everyone else. Also maybe should mention I'm not a young teenage girl but a knackered mum who is 51 sad

Can't even moan at work as don't know who it's from.....but I do have a sneaky idea

Anyway just wanted to vent....

Yanbu. Disappointing.

There's another SS thread on here today with someone less thank enamoured with their gift. sad

If it's a tenner, it's a tenner-very mean to spend half that.

*than

CranberrySaucyJack Wed 18-Dec-13 18:07:47

Honestly?

You gave a cheap and nasty Baylis and Harding gift set and got a even cheaper and nasty Superdrug one back.

Sounds like a very unsatisfying experience all round.

Rhubarbgarden Wed 18-Dec-13 18:08:09

I always thought with those things, the idea was 'don't spend more than a tenner'. In any case, it's all supposed to be a bit jokey, isn't it? Since when were SS presents supposed to be 'nice'?

Lemonfizz Wed 18-Dec-13 18:21:42

The reason I bought the baylis set was as I don't know the lady as she has just started. The gift I received was more suitable for a young girl not a grown woman and the price was still on. Everyone was told what the budget was and asked not to buy anything rude (last year some of the ss were really distasteful). No one was forced to do ss. I just think it's unfair to knowingly accept a gift when you have not spent the same as your work colleagues. hmm hmm

Bloodyteenagers Wed 18-Dec-13 18:28:50

What's wrong with chocolate bubble bath?

What's the problem anyway? Just because a price was suggested, it is just that, a suggestion. Don't spend no more than £10. Personally I think that is a ridiculous amount, and I would have at most spent a fiver. No way would I spend a tenner on SS.

Nanny0gg Wed 18-Dec-13 18:30:21

I like Bayliss and Harding...

And if the amount was agreed, the amount should have been honoured.

YANBU.

Lemonfizz Wed 18-Dec-13 18:31:14

What is right with chocolate bubble bath for a 12 year old when you are in your fifties.

Lemonfizz Wed 18-Dec-13 18:32:48

like others have said £10 was the agreed amount to spend

Bunbaker Wed 18-Dec-13 18:35:31

"You gave a cheap and nasty Baylis and Harding gift set and got a even cheaper and nasty Superdrug one back."

I don't consider £18 at full price a cheap and nasty toiletry set. And being reduced to £10 makes it a bargain.

"What's wrong with chocolate bubble bath?"

Everything. I loathe toiletries that smell of food. The idea of a chocolate bubble bath is unappealing and sickly beyond extreme.

FetaCheeny Wed 18-Dec-13 18:36:38

YANBU, if the guideline is tenner you spend a tenner, quite simple really. Even if I found a nice gift for a fiver I would pad it out with £5 worth of lottery tickets or something.

Bloodyteenagers Wed 18-Dec-13 18:37:24

Would it have been better if it was the body shop version?
£10 is the maximum. Not the agreed price. The person could have gone, spent a fiver on the bubble bath and a fiver in tat from the poundshop, would that have been better?

RobinSparkles Wed 18-Dec-13 18:39:33

Save it and keep it for next years Secret Santa!

cogitosum Wed 18-Dec-13 18:39:35

I thought the whole point of ss was rude distasteful presents!

jacks365 Wed 18-Dec-13 18:40:24

We had a secret santa at work years ago. £5 was the agreed limit, names pulled out of hat etc all sorted and agreed then the organiser sent an email round upping the limit to £10. I've never done a ss since.

RobinSparkles Wed 18-Dec-13 18:41:32

Maybe the person couldn't afford £10.

£10 is a bit steep for SS, IMO. It's always been a fiver when I've done it.

Most of the time you end up getting someone that you don't even like.

Bunbaker Wed 18-Dec-13 18:48:08

"Maybe the person couldn't afford £10."

Then they shouldn't have joined in. We always have a £5 limit on ours at work. I think £10 is a bit steep, but if the agreement is £10 you either spend £10 or say you don't want to do it.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Wed 18-Dec-13 18:50:10

We set an "it.must be fun" rule. With a fiver limit

DHs is brilliant - they have to.buy two things - one useful.and one.useless, and have a £2 limit grin

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Wed 18-Dec-13 18:50:16

We set an "it.must be fun" rule. With a fiver limit

DHs is brilliant - they have to.buy two things - one useful.and one.useless, and have a £2 limit grin

wigglesrock Wed 18-Dec-13 18:50:27

I think £10 is a bit much for Secret Santa. Ours has always been £5 or a bit more of a bran tub/ lucky dip kind of thing. I always thought they were more of a piss takey thing.

Hiya RobinSparkles hope you are all well smile

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Wed 18-Dec-13 18:50:46

oops

tiggytape Wed 18-Dec-13 18:51:07

£10 is a bit steep for SS, IMO. It's always been a fiver when I've done it.

So then you don't take part.
I passed on a similar swap thing this year because the budget was too high - more than I can spend on relatives let alone anyone else. For other people, the budget was just fine. I wouldn't sign up though and then spend half the budget agreed.

AuntieStella Wed 18-Dec-13 18:52:26

Even if they couldn't afford to spend more, it's free to take the price tag off!

Yes, your Santa got it wrong. By that happens sometimes. And YANBU to be disappointed. But it's unrelated to what you got for someone else, and YWBU to dwell on it.

Lemonfizz Wed 18-Dec-13 18:53:37

Everyone was asked if they wanted to do it. They were asked to buy a gift for £10. I think what has annoyed me is that they accepted the gift from someone else at work knowing that they didn't spend what we had all agreed. I have given mine to my teenage daughter who thinks it's lovelyhmm

Steben Wed 18-Dec-13 18:54:06

This is exactly why I don't throw my name in ring for the work ss!

FetaCheeny Wed 18-Dec-13 18:55:43

I got £10 worth of sugar once, because I have sugar in my tea sad

jellyandcake Wed 18-Dec-13 18:57:06

I spent £4 on a £5 ss this week - gift was reduced from £6. Should have got a festive scratchcard to pad it out but didn't think of it! Argh! Recipient definitely not on mumsnet though so hopefully will not be subject of angry thread blush.

OP, I am always disappointed with ss and I never know what to buy for it either, I probably shouldn't get involved!

GemmaTeller Wed 18-Dec-13 19:01:31

£10 is a bit steep for SS, IMO. It's always been a fiver when I've done it.

About 15 years ago I worked at the head office of a well known house builder in London and the first christmas I was there it was decided secret santa should be £35 - yes - really shock

So, with my no nonsense northern attitude, I responded 'Are you joking? I don't spend that on members of my family'.

I didn't do it.

frogspoon Wed 18-Dec-13 19:02:37

One thing I don't get about ss if if you should include postage or not. The gift I bought was £6, postage was an extra £3 (I looked around everywhere, was the cheapest option) It was a unique novelty item (not rude) very fitting to the individual, I hope they liked it.

So total cost was £9. Was I BU to pay £9 and give a £6 when the budget was £10. Incidentally my gift was actually £12, the person accidentally left the label on.

PipkinsPal Wed 18-Dec-13 19:03:50

Aged 18 first job. Secret Santa present a black G-string which was no bigger than an eye patch. It did the rounds in work, ending up in people's desks and being draped off things for ages. And they say Banking is boring!

BoJolly Wed 18-Dec-13 19:17:10

We have rules for secret santa:-

- gift MUST be purchased from pound shop/world/land
- gift MUST be as tacky as possible
- gift is not bought with anybody in mind but goes in a sack and is picked out randomly.

It is always great fun - which is the point, surely?

chrome100 Wed 18-Dec-13 19:20:07

I'm not taking part in our office SS because I think £10 is an outrageous amount to spend on something that will probably be glanced at once. SS is supposed to be stupid and fun, not about getting what the recipient has always wanted. And certainly not expensive.

Eastwickwitch Wed 18-Dec-13 19:23:18

I think if the rule is £10 then that's what you should spend (including postage). It is quite steep, but if opting out is an option & acceptable then the buyer should've done that.
Maybe they forgot and nipped out to the nearest shop in their break.

I prefer £5 and tacky as possible, although sometimes its hard to know if its meant to be a joke.

RobinSparkles Wed 18-Dec-13 19:49:40

Hi Wiggles! smile How are you and the girls? And the DH, of course. I bet they're all getting big (the DDs not the H fwink )

Maybe the person felt as if they should participate and felt miserable saying "no"/didn't feel as if they could say no.
Maybe they just thought of the budget as being £10 meaning that they couldn't go over but could stay under, iyswim.

TBH, is a five pound dearer body set much better? OP, you said that you hate toiletries that smell like food but another person might hate the smell of flowers or whatever a Baylis and Harding set smells of.

I'd probably just save it for the school tombola or something. I understand your disappointment though, OP. Every year somebody buys me a cheap body set, usually from B and M bargains or the equivalent, with the kind of perfume that smells like cheap vodka and burns when you put it on!

wigglesrock Wed 18-Dec-13 21:58:34

Robin all good, can't believe babies are almost 3!! Hope you all have a lovely Christmas x

Doublemuvver Wed 18-Dec-13 22:04:38

Ours is a fiver and I was v lucky this year. I have lovely colleagues smile

threepiecesuite Wed 18-Dec-13 22:09:04

Ours was £10. Everyone seemed to do alright. I got a book and some chocs.

SaltySeaBird Wed 18-Dec-13 22:13:54

I've had some great secret santas, lovely and thoughtful (and try to be thoughtful back).

I did work somewhere where one displeased recipient emailed the whole company saying whoever brought her SS gift was a disgrace and cheapskate and that the rule was £5.00 but she had seen her gift in Poundland and was not at all happy!

tipp2chicago Wed 18-Dec-13 22:15:21

Our SS is €10 and it is not optional. The boss invariably gets a borat-style mankini and a handful of catalogues from the local sex shop.

This year it was suggested that we all buy Christmas jumpers to wear to the Xmas party (party is also not optional). I will be wearing my party frock as it's the only time the whole year I'll get to wear it.

I really need to get a new job.

issey6cats Wed 18-Dec-13 22:29:13

At least you got your ss present last year we did ss at work and i bought my secret santa recipients present and didnt get one from whoever was supposed to be mine so wont be bothering this year

Bunbaker Thu 19-Dec-13 07:10:49

Our SS at work is optional. I think not making it optional is a bit mean spirited.

Allthingsprettyreturns Thu 19-Dec-13 07:40:12

I always try and but a ss gift i would be happy to receive which inevitably means the gift i get in return is usually tat. Its the way of ss. I think i put too mych effort in.

Allthingsprettyreturns Thu 19-Dec-13 07:43:02

Ynbu op

DingDongHairyPOnHigh Thu 19-Dec-13 07:53:08

We do a not so secret Santa at my work. We pick names out of a hat for buyer and recipient. The buyer almost always asks the recipient what they would like. It saves any problems and everyone ends up with a nice gift.

Our limit is £15, although this year they tried to make it £20 and got shot down in flames.

I have never seen anyone end up with something much cheaper though.

LondonMother Thu 19-Dec-13 08:00:10

Disappointing, OP, but not the end of the world. I took part in a SS this year for the first time ever (new job, never had one where I worked before). It seemed to work well, as far as I could judge. It was optional and the limit was given as '£5-£10'. At least half the gifts were bottles of wine, I'd say. I got a teeny bottle of cava in Tesco in a gift box with some champagne truffles. £6. I would have been delighted to get that. In fact I got a very nice mug and some teabags. Very pleased with that too. Embarrassing gifts were not explicitly forbidden but I was relieved to see that there weren't any. All very sedate.

Latara Thu 19-Dec-13 10:19:24

One year I got a secret santa that was a 'lucky Chinese cat' moneybox and had been specially ordered from China by the giver (I have a fair idea who it was). I love cats so it was a very thoughtful present.

But the OP's gift sounds horrendous, YANBU to be disappointed.

SunshineAndPeardrops Thu 19-Dec-13 10:28:09

I hate it when people are thoughtless cheapskates with Secret Santa. YANBU to be upset.

Last year when DH's side of the family did SS, I stuck to budget and bought a present worth £20, for my Secret Santa, and in return I got....

A mug with hot chocolate and some teaspoons ....Really, did that cost £20? hmm

Felt totally cheated and angry, and still do!

Lottiedoubtie Thu 19-Dec-13 10:32:34

This year I did two at work, one with kids (limit £5) one with adults (limit £10) .

From the child I got : sterling silver earrings, in a style linked to my subject. ( five pounds, amazon, I checked because they were so nice I thought child in question had spent too much)

From the adult I got: a clearly not-new tacky plastic necklace wrapped in a Jiffy bag, in Christmas paper. hmm

Both were 'optional' ( well the kids one was optional for them iyswim).

I know which one I'd rather do again next year...

Bloody SS is a minefield, it's the not knowing if you got a crap gift because the person doesn't like you or just because they are crap at presents that bothers me..

DD's form at school did a secret santa, (£2 I think) so she informed me last night after they'd done it, and because she had no money she made a lovely "gift voucher" for a "Knitted Thing" of the recipient's choice from a list of about ten things, to be knitted by her Mam *me* over the holidays and brought in on the first day of term fhmm - she was trying to save money bless her, but quite why she couldn't have ^mentioned it beforehand I will never know. It went to a boy apparently, so I suspect he will want either a dinosaur or a minion but arghhhhhh fgrin
Still, at least she was enterprising I suppose

HappyMummyOfOne Thu 19-Dec-13 11:45:05

We do a £10 secret santa to save us all buying lots of gifts. You put ideas on your slip so always end up with something you want and most go over the budget not under. Its a bit of fun and you get a nice present without having to buy for everyone as its a small place.

Hate tacky secret santas unless billed as that and people shouldnt join in if they dont want to spend the budget or put thought into the gift.

Allthingsprettyreturns Thu 19-Dec-13 17:56:43

Pom sounds like your dd could be a future entrepeneur!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 19-Dec-13 19:42:17

ive done several ss this year and all been £5 - its meant to be fun and often we do say no toiletries for one as some allergic and obv dont know who you are going to get

agree spending less isnt on, but sometimes it happens, but to actually leave the price on as well seem silly

Our limit is £5, and this year we had a 'get if from a charity shop' option too smile

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