Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

(537 Posts)
HankyScore Mon 16-Dec-13 10:18:01

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:19:00

agree with all

who are these shouty strangers?

Bowlersarm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:19:35

How they are addressed on an envelope. Huge annoyance on MN.

Morloth Mon 16-Dec-13 10:20:28

Magic Chickens.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:21:11

good call morloth

people who dont have heating or tumble dryers who can afford them keep your hair on

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:22:03

ooh ooh
freaks who never ever ever leave their kids with a sitter only because the LOVES THEM SO MUCH


( also the vast nos on here who dont drive - also odd)

wigglesrock Mon 16-Dec-13 10:22:25

The kerfuffle & niceties involved in thank you cards/letters. Thank you cards for wedding & baby presents. Never in my long legged life have I sent or received a thank you card re a child's birthday present.

Joysmum Mon 16-Dec-13 10:22:40

Partners with curfews
The automatic assumption that a mistake means end of relationship
People who never lose their temper
People who never annoy their partners

greenfolder Mon 16-Dec-13 10:25:14

I have been a parent for 19 years.never once have I heard of a class rep or been asked to contribute for a joint gift for a teacher

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 10:25:15

People hating their ILs - a MN phenomenon

'toxic' - parents/siblings - another MN phenomenon (to be fair a I know a couple of people with 'twatty' siblings but toxic? nah!)

'undiagnosed' - PND, SPD, stress, depression, anxiety and so forth - if it isn't diagnosed, dont google and assume you have it.

Bowlersarm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:26:15

Buying a puppy, rather than getting a dog from a rescue.

Ordering your OH not to get drunk and be home by a certain time, if their out, ooh, once in a blue moon.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 10:27:38

People who even know, never mind care, what the colour bands mean in a primary school reading scheme.

Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 10:29:07

All of the above, plus

spelling and punctuation in school newsletters - I mean I just scan for relevant dates then stick the thing up on the fridge until it falls off into the dog's water bowl

"screen time" - mine (and everyone else I know) tend to come home from school, hoover up anything edible, do some homework then sit glued to the Disney Channel/Minecraft until I prise them away for dinner - especially this time of year.

HankyScore Mon 16-Dec-13 10:29:47

Oh god YES to colour bands.

And toxic/NPD stuff. I actually just groan when I see that now.

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 10:30:01

In RL I've never had a comment about breastfeeding, or judgement about whether I stay at home or go to work either.

I've definitely never heard friends speculating about how much money other friends earn or what kind of benefits they may or may not be getting.

That one always seems odd to me I can't imagine a RL conversation where that would be an appropriate subject.

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Mon 16-Dec-13 10:30:19

People who get indignant that p+c parking spaces are an evil supermarket conspiracy between toddlers and big business

PuppyMonkey Mon 16-Dec-13 10:30:44

Being scared of toilet brushes.

SMorgauseBordOfChristmasTat Mon 16-Dec-13 10:32:23

Bloody shelved elf. <shakes head>

CooEeeEldridge Mon 16-Dec-13 10:32:32

If you're in a group at a cafe. You must ALL queue up together, and only when all the group's food is received may you find a table.

AutumnStarOfWonder Mon 16-Dec-13 10:32:54

People incandescent with rage about cats having a shit.

Bowlersarm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:34:36

CooEee fblush

Although I don't think that is an MN thing-I have been very much a lone voice on those threads!

EnianShelZman Mon 16-Dec-13 10:35:27

Hmm, I must be living in a parallel universe because most of the things listed above had happened to me, except the incidents on public transport, maybe because I never use it.

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Dec-13 10:35:31

Agree with everything on this thread.
Never heard of 'toxic' people or nc. People go nc on here as if it's as normal as going to the loo.
Also the amount of micro managing children's activities and play dates is beyond belief.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:36:36

people who bleat on and on about christmas with wanky eleves and santa then complain their kids are overexcited


EnianShelZman Mon 16-Dec-13 10:41:39

I must be weird because we got screen time, care about book bands, got toxic SIL, write and receive thank you letters, hate neighbour's cat because it shits in our garden, discuss money with friends, got a class rep, a puppy, had a fight over a child parking with somebody else, last week gave a class rep 10 pounds for a collection. I must 've a mumsnet stereotype smile

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 10:44:12

People whose sons love pink and wearing princess dresses/tutus etc. Never seen it in RL!

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 10:45:02

If a friend is having a RL rant over coffee with us about a partner and says "Sometimes I could just shake him" we don't all gasp and start giving a lecture about violence grin

DadOnIce Mon 16-Dec-13 10:47:43

Yes, people who "don't know" what the various levels, tables etc. mean in school are usually pretending!

Also never met anyone who made such a judgy fuss about breastfeeding. It's been a few years since DW breastfed ours, but I just don't remember it being a huge issue whether you did or not.

People who divide things into "blue jobs" and "pink jobs". WTAF?

People who make their DHs do the housework after they get in from a 12-hour shift at the desk/coalface/chalkface/lathe.

No women in my family or friendship group have ever (as far as I'm aware) had a random man walk up to them and tell them to "smile!", etc.

The whole "which school should I choose" debate is totally academic for most people we know, who have known for several years which school they are going to send their children too - either because they have no choice, or because they specifically planned to move into a particular catchment.

DHs who are given "permission" to go out and told off like children if they stay out late.

Pretty much everything to do with weddings. Bridezillas, list mania, etc.

Know a few people who don't drive, though. Not unusual.

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 10:48:34

Party bag disapproval. People who ask others about what Christmas traditions they ought to be starting. Talk about micro managing your lifeconfused...Yes to ALL else mentioned.

WigWearer Mon 16-Dec-13 10:49:16

Not working. I don't know any SAHMs. We all fucking have to work

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 10:50:44

Ah I have (re the 'pink boy') he was rather too fond of his sisters Snow white outfit - didn't suit him at all, he was a rather chunky little fella!

I wonder how he turned out.

WigWearer Mon 16-Dec-13 10:51:13

Oh god, yes, the 'school choice' agony.

They go to the local school. This may be a country vs town phenomenon, admittedly.

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 10:51:53

Another MN phenomenon - women who 'have their own business from home' .... childminding/avon/betterware is not a business, it is pin money.

AscoyneDAscoyne Mon 16-Dec-13 10:51:56

People who don't leave their kids in the car at the petrol station lest their car explodes.

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 10:52:38

I'm always amazed at how many self diagsones of 'narc' people seem to be around on mn. Never hear anyone speak of it in rl.

Yellowcake Mon 16-Dec-13 10:53:04

Gosh, I don't drive (though have just started to learn), I will point out to anyone addressing envelopes that I am Dr Myname, not Mrs Husbandsname, I've had several total strangers (including one man who told me he was a recently arrived African asylum seeker) take issue with me for formula feeding my baby, have certainly seen buggy wars on buses in London when we lived there. I have certainly found my tactless, well-meaning MiL very difficult down the years, but she is my husband's mother, so I persevere.

Actually, driving is IMPOSSIBLE. Can I just say how much I admire all of you who can drive? You are made of better stuff than me.

I agree the 'toxic' label is a sort of Mumsnet meme borrowed from self-help books. What bothers me is that I don't think it's necessarily a helpful label - all it means in the context of human relationships is 'I experience Person X as unpleasant', whereas it sounds like an official diagnosis.

CranberrySaucyJack Mon 16-Dec-13 10:53:14

People who would never dream of calling their kids names under their breath/on FB/when talking to friends/yadda yadda.

HankyScore Mon 16-Dec-13 10:53:16

I made over 2k a month from Childminding, it's hardly pin money.....

HankyScore Mon 16-Dec-13 10:53:43

Avon and Betterware etc though, I'd have to agree, I don't know anyone who makes proper money from it.

BigChocolateOrange Mon 16-Dec-13 10:54:27

People who ask what they should by from Aldi/Lidl.

And people who struggle to buy something for themselves if they're given gift vouchers or the like. It's really never a problem for me!

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 10:54:42

ooh and people who can't leave their 15 year old alone in the house for 30 seconds whilst they post a letter, lest they get run over/kidnapped by terrorists/abducted by aliens

DontmindifIdo Mon 16-Dec-13 10:54:59

Christmas eve hampers! I mentioned them in passing to some more organised Mummy friends, none had heard of them, although Christmas jimjams are very much a thing, but the consensus amongst RL friends seems to be you have new jammies because its the only time of the year you're photographed in them.

MN relationship section is an eye opener, I can never quite get over just how much shit some woman will put up with! (but perhaps I know people in RL with equally shit relationships, just they hide it well)

The people who buy 4-5 buggies, surely you buy one when you're pregnant, use that until your DCs walk? Possibly when you go back to work, get a cheap unbrella fold if you need to leave it at a nursery/childminders (as they normally ask for it to fold up small)- or get something to leave at a grandparent's house, but otherwise, who are these people who keep buying buggy after buggy rather than just using the one they've got? The only people I know who've bought replacements are because they had DC2 before DC1 was walking and needed a double, and one friend who managed to break hers.

Yellowcake Mon 16-Dec-13 10:56:19

Oh, my one year old son is currently wearing a pink hula skirt and a witch's hat. Pink, completely unprompted by me, is his favourite colour at the moment. He borrowed a pink Zbarbie car from the toy library last time.

And have certainly had male strangers telling me to smile. Not in the least unusual, unfortunately.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 10:56:53

People who "have" to spend unpleasant Christmases with people they don't like, planned months in advance.

people finding kittens, i would love to find a lost kitten.

LadyInDisguise Mon 16-Dec-13 10:57:12

I might be strange but actually have heard about quite a few of these things in RL.

People who are undiagnosed because getting a diagnosis is an issue.
Toxic parents (my grand parents, esp my grand mother, were certainly toxic).
Comments about bfing (I got both some 'looks' from people passing by and people coming to see me to tell me how wonderful it was!)
Screen time is certainly in place at most of my dcs friends....
I can go on.

Or maybe I am living in a MN holding and I didn't quite realized lol.

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 10:57:50

Tooth fairy angst - its a quid - no debate needed

Santa angst - he's real grin no debate needed

Easter bunny - he shits eggs - thats that one nailed too

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 10:57:54

This elf on the shelf stuff

People who make a fuss over what milk a baby has

People who know the ins and outs of every formula just so they can tell you how crap it it.

People who won't leave children with anyone.

Children over the age of three who can't be left downstairs while mum showers.

People who are so afraid of loo brushes.

People who need to remind themselves dogs exist before leaving house.

People who can make one chicken serve six people a day for a week.

desertmum Mon 16-Dec-13 10:58:00

Love this thread - makes me feel 'relatively' normal (although I have to admit to a couple of them - my son wore a pink tutu for a while - now he just looks gay in johdpurs grin. One time we went out and had a few drinks we got home to a very sick son who needed to go to hospital - so we took a taxi - simples. The worst part was we were living in a country where alcohol was banned, so had to stand as far away from the staff as possible to not breath alcoholic fumes on them while still managing to console poor DS. Obviously (before anyone says anything) we weren't blind drunk, just had a couple of glasses of home brew.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:58:13

fricking christmas fricking traditions


Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 10:58:20

Actually, I'll admit to the buggy one blush.

I went from buying lots of shoes, to buying buggies.

I did sell them on each time which paid for my habit, I don't have dozens of buggies lurking in the loft

Joysmum Mon 16-Dec-13 10:58:34

Mums who are entirely 100% happy to either be working, or a SAHM. In my experience, those of us who are SAHMs feel we are missing out and those who have to work because of finances feel they are missing out too. Nobody I know has ever been 100% happy with their lot 100% of the time.

BigChocolateOrange Mon 16-Dec-13 10:59:10

Oh, and people who think of a nickname for their unborn child BEFORE they pick an actual name. Surely you pick a name you love, and a nickname is an organic thing? If you like the bloody nickname that much just call your kid that.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:59:19

oh the germ phobes
( see loo threads) and people who wont shit when away from their own houses .

Oh and those who wont answer the door or phone then wonder why they dont have mates.

kennyp Mon 16-Dec-13 10:59:35

i am lolling at this!!! love it!!!
when i'm drinking wine when the kids are in the house the last thing me or my friends are thinking about is an A&E related need!??!?!!?

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 11:01:03

and people who have to ask other people what to buy at fricking aldi

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:01:03

Heres one - people who get terrified that their children are going to be somehow abused by a paedo simple because Nanna has put up a picture.

Quite probably the same people who now keep slapping up pictures of their offspring on MN.

Ah yes, not rocket science is it?

Gullygirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:01:47

You are not allowed to say that a child is ever just naughty/violent/disruptive.You MUST consider that they could have SNs.
Elf on The Shelf? WTF.
I have never heard of a Christmas Eve Hamper in RL.
In laws are usually toxic.

Noe LTB.

ConfusedDotty Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:13

I have seen actual mothers out and about with buggies and all kinds without thier DPs/DHs, unlike Mother's on MN who slag off partners for leaving them to do the shopping alone while they are slope off to work/golf weekends.

Never ever seen anyone arguing near a parent and child parking space.

Never had a nasty comment/letter from the school regarding the contents of a packed lunch.

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:20

Exactly Hanne. Ditto nicknames. 'I want to call my baby Pubert. Now what nickname shall we have?' It'll evolve or not of it own accord. You cant control everything.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:28

re school choice agony- I made sure mine didn't go to the local school as it is shit. Id rather walk 20 mins for them to go to an outstanding school rather than just send them over the road because its near. loads of people i know at their school did the same. but that's my choice, I know it may be looked upon as snobbery <shrugs>

Dwerf Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:32

I don't drive. I had several lessons and decided for the greater good of mankind and my sanity that I was never going to be a driver. You're welcome.

Also the undiagnosed thing. I have SAD (or at least many of the symptoms). It's undiagnosed. Or rather, I told the doctor I suspected I had it, they went "mhhmmm, here's a pamplet". Helpful. I treat myself as if I do have it, I feel better when I follow the suggested treatments ( a light box, exercise etc). I doubt there's more a doctor could do except prescribe pills.

My dd is a class rep grin

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:35

thank god i have blocked that whole topic

Gullygirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:36

Now LTB.

For all those grammatical pedants out there.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 11:03:00

christmas eve hamper - what fresh hell is that?

Trills Mon 16-Dec-13 11:03:43

That's why MN is amazing - you get to see things that:

Are different to how your friends/family/village do things
Are things that people think but wouldn't say out loud

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 11:04:10

Sorry BigChocOrange cross posted with you there re nicknames. Great minds and all that...grin

Trills Mon 16-Dec-13 11:04:20

I assume that you are saying "MN is amazing because I see all of this greater variety of human life" rather than "I don't think these things exist and so everyone who posts about them is lying".

gordyslovesheep Mon 16-Dec-13 11:04:51

parents who never ever ever say anything negative ever - especially on FB

Parents who are never publicly proud of their kids

Peedows everywhere

school yard cliques (never ever encountered this in 8 years)

Penis beakers

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 11:04:54

Oh can I add:

People who take offence at everything so easily.

People so paranoid that every joke or every innocent comment is somehow all about them and making them feel bad about a choice they made even though the people coukdvt give a crap.

People who get upset that a coeliac/vegan/halal eating person brings their own lunch because they really don't want to put people out and want to enjoy the meal.

These workman/ delivery Men that shit all over floors.

Delivery men who hurl stuff over fences.

People who care what time the take away is ordered or how near it is and how "lazy" the caller was being


BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 11:05:07

School gate bust ups with other mums. Never seen it.

DontmindifIdo Mon 16-Dec-13 11:06:21

oh yes, the people who make their DH ask them permission to go out to play with the other boys to have a drink with their friends.

The others who think getting drunk less than 5 times a year is a sign that he's got a drink problem and she should leave him.

Oh and the mummy martyrs who think spending any money on yourself is immoral now you're a mother. (see the thread I started asking for handbag suggestions around the £800 mark with some money I'd been left by a relative who was a bit of an accessory queen herself, and was told to buy a bench instead, because somehow that would be more morally acceptable, or art work, in fact, spending hte money was fine, so long as I didn't spend it on something that was just for my use, it had only to be spent on something for collective use to be acceptable.)

DreamingofSummer Mon 16-Dec-13 11:06:21

Angst about workmen using your toilet, or about not using the toilet when there are workmen in the house.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:06:40

don't get the nickname angst at all! dds names is always being vetoed on baby names as it can't be shortened- so fucking what?!

Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 11:07:09

Agree with the nicknames too. A friend of mine decided on the name and nickname when she was pregnant.

Mine have nicknames but they've evolved over time - i.e, eldest is known as Doll by everyone which came from Dolly Day Dreamer. It just happened over the years, based on one of her traits, I always thought that's how nicknames were supposed to work

limitedperiodonly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:07:55

Children who are impeccably behaved and make chit chat about world events in restaurants because 'we put the hours in'.

Latara Mon 16-Dec-13 11:07:57

I have had men walk up to me and say ''smile'' or ''cheer up love'' (maybe I just looked dead miserable?);

I don't drive (epilepsy);

I have friends with a toxic SIL (but they don't say toxic, just call her a PITA)

I get the rage if my own cat shits in the garden and doesn't use her tray.

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 11:08:17

Not working. I don't know any SAHMs. We all fucking have to work

I know plenty of SAHM'S it isn't a mnet phenomenon grin

I know plenty who work f/t and p/t too.

The main difference between mnet and RL is that in RL no one seems to give a fuck how or why another parent is staying at home or working or whatever.

We just seem to be able to get on with keeping our own affairs in order wink

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:09:17

People who think that boarding school is a preferable alternative to a 12 year old spending an hour at home between 4.30pm and 5.30pm five days a week.

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:10:00

The constant referral to anyone who doesn't live by your rules and standards as 'entitled'. The expectation that no-one, including close relations, should ever offer babysitting services, buy a present for your child, want to see your child or attend a birthday party for the said child unless they live within a 1 mile radius grin

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:10:35

I have seen a school gate fisticuffs - hilarious

I've also seen school gate dad get out a quart of whiskey and swig from the bottle

Baby ballet? WTF is that?

People who dont see that a perfectly normal average family with no 'ishoos' can produce a devil child, who doesnt have some form of SN.

SN - the most over used acronym on the planet. Everyone is special and everyone has needs. Thats that one nailed too.

meddie Mon 16-Dec-13 11:11:50

New mums not allowing visitors for weeks after the birth. Were I come from if someone has a baby its normal for the family to pile into the hospital that night to meet the new arrival. Give presents
Take pics etc etc. No one would even consider banning grandparents it would be unthinkable

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 11:12:34

All of the above - especially these people with endless patience who never get cross or lose their temper. This sort of saint is actually the type that pushes my buttons in real life and make me rage.

Am off to think of more....

babybarrister Mon 16-Dec-13 11:13:38

people who think that spending £800 on a handbag is akin to mass murder

hyenafunk Mon 16-Dec-13 11:15:22

I don't answer door or phone unless I know who it is- generalised anxiety disorder and both are major panic triggers.
I don't drive, do elf on the shelf and Christmas Eve hampers.
Never shit in public.
Have a toxic dad and FIL.
Don't like GP posting pics of my DC on FB because I'm a super private person and even U don't post their pics online. Not a paedo issue, I just don't want them splattered all over internet without having a choice in it.
Have been told to cheer up my whole life.

So yeah, I fit a lot of these "only on MN things" grin

Slimchance Mon 16-Dec-13 11:15:35

Arf at baby Pubert that's hiliarious Banana! grin

People who have perfectly planned meals every night of the week which always include meat or fish, complicated sauces and at least two veg, and who never seem to eat leftovers or baked beans on toast, ever.

[Didn't have wedding list ourselves- we were older - already had most household things - held wedding in remote countryside (which cost a fortune to travel to) so seemed a bit cheeky]

Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 11:15:50

We've had schoolgate fisticuffs too. Lots of finger pointing and head waggling followed by slapping and hair pulling.

CalamitouslyWrong Mon 16-Dec-13 11:18:14

I've never seen anything about takeaway etiquette on MN. What difference does the time of ordering make? confused

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:19:00

the attitude that you shouldn't financially assist your children past the age of 18. seen this on here before, poster in dire straits, upset that parents won't give them a loan and have been told 'YOU'RE ENTITLED! HOW DARE YOU ASK THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD FOR HELP? STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET!!!!1!1'

thank god my parents don't stop seeing me and dBro as their children because we're legally adults! When mine grow up I'll be exactly the same, help them if they need it?

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 11:19:24

People who think drs should prescribe everything even though it can be bought OTC for a couple of quid.

People who worry about perfectly safe happy children in perfectly normal day to day situations , just because they aren't screaming to be picked up and bf abs can entertain themselves.

People who fancy justin fletcher.

People who think a glass of wine with dinner is setting kids up for drink problems.

People who care what name children use to call body parts.

People who hate pets so much.


BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:19:29

Not working. I don't know any SAHMs. We all fucking have to work

Ah well you see, SAHM if your DH can support your lifestyle without tax credits etc - otherwise you are just unemployed.

I agree, we all have to work.

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 11:22:35

The whole baby names topic confuses me. 'If I like Susan, Chole and Alice, what other names might I like?'...'Amanda'. And they are connected how exactly?confused Its like Mornington Crescent but with names.

BigFatGoalie Mon 16-Dec-13 11:23:30


limitedperiodonly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:23:43

It starts before 18 myleskennedy.

Because if you give your children more than a satsuma for Christmas and let them watch telly after school instead of bringing the coal in they'll end up: 'HORRIBLY ENTITLED ADULTS WHO CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD BY THEMSELVES.'

<another adult lucky enough to have dotingly deluded parents>

ComposHat Mon 16-Dec-13 11:24:14

Red fucking flags. Never heard anyone use it in the real world, unless they are enthusiastic communists or experts in semaphore.

'That's a red flag for me.' I can't help but think, 'yeah and I know where I'd like to shove that red flag.'

It seems to be a ridiculously poncy way of saying, 'that's a bit worrying.'

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:25:00

Doula - WTF is one of those? I know no one who has had one of these, desired one, been offered one or would even know what one is.

Cleaners - tha trauma over what to give the hired help for Christmas. I tell ya now, she wont speak english, has been nipping your sherry, and wont be paying tax and NI >taps nose< its a cash-in-hand industry

Au pair - of course, the entire MN world has a spare bedroom and car for some flibberty gibbet to waft in and out with the pretense of learning English.

vickibee Mon 16-Dec-13 11:25:27

LTB seems to come up a lot even for minor irritations, if only it was that simple.?

DadOnIce Mon 16-Dec-13 11:26:27

My mum worked, as did most of my friends' mums (at least part-time). I just assumed, growing up in the 80s/90s, that the whole "work" thing was done and dusted now - that everyone wanted or needed to work, unless they were super-rich. Women I was at university with all wanted to get jobs. Nobody was talking about giving up at 26 to have children.

So it was an incredible eye-opener when the children started school just how many SAHMs there were. I literally did not know there were so many.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:14

Haha v.true limited the Christmas presents threads on here make me die. my dc aren't going to suddenly turn into brats because they get lots at Christmas!

i just can't understand that attitude, my parents will d. anything to help me out, not because I'm entitled and I expect it, but because I'm their daughter, they love me and they don't want us to struggle if we don't have to. Don't get what's so wrong with that?!

vickibee Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:39

Dad on ice, I agree with you. I rush after to drop off to get to work on time and all the Mums are having a chat in the playground and generally loitering with no place to go? Only jealous.....

Absy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:49

People who only shower like once a week. It seems very common on MN. It's not as common (as far as i'm aware) with people I encounter in everyday life. Or people in lieu of showering go and do a strip wash. How is that easier? It's such a hassle.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:52

I relatively new on here and am surprised at the frequency fairly tame thread starts turn into a kerfuffle.

Only on MN;

The inability to have a rant about rude parents/children without someone getting very upset that the parent or child could have a yet undiagnosed borderline personality disorder or similar. Some children and/or parents are just rude and badly behaved, I see it all the time!! And I only go out twice a week blush

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'. Then you need to be shouted at for 15 pages until everyone realises the OP has fucked the fuck off and they are just squabbling amongst themselves.

I am a SAHM by the way. We do exist however as someone said above, I feel I should be working so am going to look for weekend work never happy

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:30:14

Absolutely to SAHM/WOHM debate and BF/FF - neither are issues I have ever encountered in RL.

However, where I live in South London, the school debate is a massive issue - mainly because there is very little actual choice as distance bands are so miniscule for most of the good ones.

DH has had lots of child parking rage incidents so that one I do recognise.

Elf on a shelf too - most people in RL have never heard of them except one American friend. Personally, I find the whole thing creepy. DD has an elf (from Tiger, not a special one) but it stays firmly on the mantelpiece unless she moves it.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:30:15

Doula - WTF is one of those?

It means "I think the NCT is terribly common these days, don't you?"

Absy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:31:49

And on the other end of the scale, people who wash towels every day. Why? WHY?

I do worry that either I'm hugely fastidiously clean, or a complete slacker.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 11:31:49


There was an entertaining AiBU where someone ordered a take away from a shop mere metes from their house and it had taken forever to arrive.

One poster then asked "why did you order so early?"

Needless to say some felt expecting your local take away to deliver in less than three hours and not walking up to get it was very U grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:32:42

I had a doula lol. I was booked for a home birth until week 39 when my Mother informed me I couldn't have a home birth as a 'spiritual friend' had told her I would die or something. So all change, gave birth in my local hospital, doula made the last hour as she was racing back from a Yoga symposium and was stuck on the motorway.

Yup, you couldn't make it up grin

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:33:32

Chrisatmas stockings - why why why why why does it matter if MIL bought one and filled it up too?

Why why why can't other people buy your child presents?

never have I encountered this in the real world

CalamitouslyWrong Mon 16-Dec-13 11:33:34

Dadonice: I had the same experience growing up; everyone's mum worked. My grandmothers both worked. I don't think any woman in my family has ever been a SAHM. If they weren't in work, they were looking for it. The whole, 'it's a new thing that women go out to work' argument always confuses me. Maybe it's the case in the leafy shires of middle England, but certainly not where I grew up.

feelingdizzy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:34:21

Oh so many, people who don't let anyone near their new-born for weeks . I am from the west of Ireland you need to prepare for 20 plus visitors a day.
The involvement in the tiny detail of their kids lives, and then pretending to be enthralled by it all. I am 39 my children are 10 and 11 not surprisingly we like different things.

The whole LTB thing, I was married to a bastard, it is obvious you don't need to go looking for it.

The whole feed the family of four on lentils and chicken and things you have in your stock cupboard. Seriously have you ever really been poor, you don't have a bloody back up plan. You are poor therefore you have no money.

Without getting to heavy the SN thing pisses me off, I have 2 brothers with SN and also teach children with SN. I find this whole thing about how different they are ,how they need to be handled differently, a subtle way off alienating people who might need a bit of support . Also you can have a very difficult child with no SN and wait for it people with SN can also be dickheads, they do have their own personalities, some nice some not.

caketinrosie Mon 16-Dec-13 11:34:33

Thank god, I thought it was just me. I've been in a state of total confusion thinking I was shit mum misguided due to my clear alcoholism Btl of wine a week because I have no idea what the elf thing is. I also know exactly what to buy at aldi on the weekly big shop, and I would love to buy an £800.00 quid handbag -- but I'm skint-- even if it meant the dc's had to go without. fgrin do have proper SN dc's though two of the buggers (ASD) greedy me fgrin

OpalTourmaline Mon 16-Dec-13 11:36:23

In real life plenty of people go back to work after having a baby because they need the money, or because they don't want to harm their career, or because being a SAHM wouldn't suit them, but only on MN have I ever heard anyone say that it is important that they demonstrate a good work ethic to their 6 month old baby. Yes I have actually seen that on MN. A 6 month old baby does not care about their mum demonstrating a good work ethic! Maybe when they reach school age this becomes more relevant.

Steben Mon 16-Dec-13 11:37:09

Yes to toilet brush hysteria, (see also fanatical weekly bed changing). Trying hard - and failing - not to laugh loudly at "wanky xmas elves" as am at work.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:37:52

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'

precisely the reason I never post on anything political. I know my views differ from the majority on here, can't be bothered to argue my viewpoints because they get shouted down instantly. Waste of time.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:38:54

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'

Or trolling.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 11:38:56

People who over think/analyse every little nuance in family life.

Sometimes, my husband is a fucking penis - I tell him this, sometimes I am - he tells me this; sometimes he makes me actual lol, sometimes he is a lazy pain in the arse, sometimes my kids piss me right off, sometimes I just want to fuck off on my own for the day and sit in costa with my book instead of watch frigging rugby/football/whatever, sometimes I want to be around them and spread my joy.

On occasion both of us have come home so pissed we couldn't stand, my husband holds my hair back whilst I puke/I get the sick bucket for him and put him to sleep on the sofa.

This, to me, is normal - I am not an apologist/handmaiden/doormat etc, I am not uncaring/shouldn't have had kids if they get on my nerves at times.

You do not always have to LTB.

limitedperiodonly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:38:57

WHERE IS THE OP????? Is she a journo? wink

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:40:04

A group of people commonly referred to as royalty who are not even a distant second cousin once removed of any royal family grin

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:40:30

Female Body Hair. I can unequivocally tell you I have no idea whether any of my mates shave their minge. Or not. As the case may be.

If I shaved it it would not look a 13yo prepubescent minge. It would like a 50yo bald minge.

Ditto if I grew it, it would be because I was lazy, not a radical feminist.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 11:42:21


"Red fucking flags. Never heard anyone use it in the real world, unless they are enthusiastic communists or experts in semaphore."

I have just laughed so hard at that, I think I may have actually expelled an ovary. blush

VoodooChimp Mon 16-Dec-13 11:44:12

People who only spend £5 on their children's christmas presents.

People who call the police if they see a child asleep in a car outside someone's house.

People who think that anyone slightly different from themselves is "on the spectrum" or has some sort of undiagnosed personality disorder.

ProfondoRosso Mon 16-Dec-13 11:46:52

All the lavvy brush business
People using the word 'common'
The idea that Hebe or Hecate are sensible names for babies

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 11:47:06

People who are vehemently opinionated about children with SNs.

I'd love to meet some of the ignorant twats whose posts I read on here.

A face to face 'schooling' would be much more satisfying.

Women that don't want their MILs to visit when their babies are born, but are fine with their own mums being there

women who schedule their DH lone childcare duties the morning after he has had a night out. presumably this is some sort of punishment or deterrent?

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:49:32

Ahhh see the loo brush thing, I'm one of those weirdos who thinks owning a brush full of shit flakes is disgusting grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:51:46

I think the 'red flag' euphemism comes from those bastard house selling programs where every bit of wall or floor stainage is a red flag to purchasers.

If I hear it I always expect Phil, he of the expensive range of pastel shirts, to be around a corner not helping to sell a house for someone.

oscarwilde Mon 16-Dec-13 11:52:53

The endless navel gazing and analysis about people's relationships when someone posts a rant about how much of a PITA their partner has been that day

The speculation and amateur diagnoses about people "being on the spectrum" / SN thing also does my head in. As soon as anyone posts a comment about somebody rude or badly behaved, the apologists jump in to explain it all away. I personally find this hysterical as my MIL does it about my BIL to explain away the fact that he is just a rude cock most of the time. Since word got out that she's telling people he has Asbergers, it has improved his behaviour immensely. grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:53:56

Myles, I'm with you there. My son is fascinated by anything that sits on the floor. He would not be able to leave a loo brush alone for five seconds. Imagine some shit covered brush being dragged across the landing by a 13 month old leaving a trail of light brown seepage behind him.


I'm a sahm and know lots of others.
My ds2 loves pink and likes dressing up as a princess.
Mumsnet is not real life <shrug>

Balaboosta Mon 16-Dec-13 11:54:51

RSVPs and children's parties. Never been a big deal. Don't always do it myself. Never had anyone else make a big deal about it.

Balaboosta Mon 16-Dec-13 11:56:00

Oh god - and telling absolutely everyone to get counselling. Not alway bad advice - but bad advice to give always.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:56:47

seb- exactly the reason I don't have one- ewww!

caketinrosie Mon 16-Dec-13 11:58:00

Monicalewinski you really made me laugh because my life is so not like yours exactly the same DH and I never get pissed at the same time always do because you never know if one of the dc's might need to go to the hospital. unlucky if they do ha ha oh and glad to hear life has moved on after Bill, he was never right for you! fgrin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:58:08

The OPs who leave the key part of their post from their thread opener leading to countless pages of fuffle, only to then get pissed off that no one is agreeing with them and then drops the key info in on page 7. So now everyone has to repost as the situation is 180 degrees different.

Just explain the situation clearly in your opening post and you might get some well considered replies!!!

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 11:59:29

People who have to have name for everything.

Oh I'm EBF

We co-sleep

Elimination communication

Look you are all just looking after kids. You are feeding and you are weaning and they are using the toilet. - who cares about official names?

People who panic so much if for one day their kid are nothing but a yogurt or a banana. Welcome to toddlerhood-that's a good day grin

People so obsessed with fruit shoots- yes they arebt great but once a week at party or soft play they arebt going to drop dead.

People who can't dress kids appropriately for a trip then blame the school that clothing wasn't specifically spelt out confused

People who stop their kids doing everything as it's dangerous. - do you have stairs and a kitchen at home? Better move quick grin

Anyone who buys lelli Kelli shoes.

Anyone who things tv is child abuse

RabbitPies Mon 16-Dec-13 12:00:58

People who are convinced that their child will be homeless,and financially and morally bankrupt by 20 if they allow them to have a chocolate Advent calendar.Such wanton indulgence can only lead to them wanting more,and then where will they be? Most likely taking tips from Bill Sykes,and picking a pocket or two.

Itwasntmeanttobelikethis Mon 16-Dec-13 12:02:37

The competitive under-spending at Xmas

Cat poo rage and Dog hating

DHs staying out all night without phoning home

mumofboyo Mon 16-Dec-13 12:02:48

Also the amount of micro managing children's activities and play dates is beyond belief.
I'd never heard of a 'play date' (apart from one episode of Friends "You have a play date with a stripper ?!") until I came on here. I just know it as the kids going to a mate's house for tea and if I know their parents I'll go along as well.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 12:03:21

Yes and yes to everything in you op. I also think there are a higher percentage of women married to narcissists and misogynists on MN than in RL.

Oh yea and no one ever asks me if I think they are pregnant because they have itchy skin, headaches and other random symptoms. Most people just do a pregnancy test!

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 12:06:19

caketinrosie fgrin fwink

WhereIsMyHat Mon 16-Dec-13 12:14:21

Pretty much everything on this thread. I must live I. Reasonable-ville as everyone seems to accept one another's differences.

That people who ask for something to be done are 'toxic' or 'narc' on here.

I've met some nasty ones but self diagnosis strikes me as stupid.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 12:20:04


I am only passive-aggressive when I am deliberately trying to push someone's buttons for whatever reason.

I therefore judge all instances of passive-aggressiveness by my (low?), motivations & standards, and assume that the perpetrator is deliberately being an obnoxious twat.

I cannot accept that people 'really don't understand' that they are WINDING PEOPLE UP!!!

notanotherusername1 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:24:37

Calling another woman a c* Just using that word at all.

stopgap Mon 16-Dec-13 12:24:39

People who send their kids to Eton.

The prevalence of feckless and utterly useless husbands.

People who hate dogs.

omuwalamulungi Mon 16-Dec-13 12:25:49

Toxic and Narc irritate me a bit too. I had no idea all these toxic people were around.

"Entitled" really annoys me, it's not entitled to expect your family and friends to do you a favour once in a while. It all evens out over time doesn't it?

Haven't seen "grabby" in a while...

HumphreyCobbler Mon 16-Dec-13 12:29:13

People who think that those who get upset because their parents have left their entire five million quid estate to their horrible little brother and only left them 50p and a china cat are unreasonable and entitled.

They can leave their money to whoever they choose! Suck it up you whiny shit.

I have never heard this in RL. Lots of the other things mentioned on here I have personal experience of grin I am a SAHM, I know toxic people (don't post about them though), friends had doulas, I have witnessed school gate fights and I know someone whose child goes to Eton.

schokolade Mon 16-Dec-13 12:32:08

My mum has cat poo rage and "people parking in front of her house" rage grin I have also been told off by acquaintances (with no children) for going back to work before DC are at school - why have children if you don't want to look after them, apparently. I always say why aren't they asking DH the same thing, they usually splutter for a while and give up.

Never encountered over-enthusiastic school lunch box policing (although I am sure it exists).

Angst over DC having chocolate advent calendars.

Anyone at all caring/noticing what anyone else has in their houses in terms of pebbles, feature walls, photos, etc. Ditto to giving the tiniest shit about what sort of toilet paper other people have.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 12:37:02

People who think you should send your kid to the local shitty school that's always been shit and has the lowest attendance and sats results of any school in the area because wanting more means you are a snob.

People who's kids never have tantrums.

People who's one year olds really do eat smoked salmon caviar and Stilton.

People who's kids few up and became a princess because they wanted nothing else after watching Disney.

People who panic over girls who are Girly.

People whos kids get these organic healthy locally sourced meat and veg for school dinners.

People who actually think Ella's pouches are superior to jars.

People so adamant that their baby won't eat a morsel til exactly six months.

People who hate soft play so much

People who moan the cakes are out with the savoury food at kids parties

soverylucky Mon 16-Dec-13 12:37:24

Well I do hate dogs and will tell people if their disgusting creature touches me and I did have one comment about ff from a stranger years ago. I also hate wedding lists but would never say anything.

I don't care though about reading bands and what other kids are on.

MummytoMog Mon 16-Dec-13 12:38:38

I do not drink at home unless I know someone else is sober to take the kids to hospital. Which basically means I don't drink at home. That's ok though, I was raised teetotal and it's not much of a loss.

soverylucky Mon 16-Dec-13 12:39:08

Oh and my next door neighbour hates me parking outside her house on the street because she is an idiot. She has given up asking me to stop now.

cloggal Mon 16-Dec-13 12:40:03

Agree with pretty much everything here - but I think certain things are easier to discuss here than IRL so it's bound to happen. Bf/ff isn't something most people outside of HVs etc would dream of commenting on, but on MN people get to vent.

I think 'toxic' has just become a catch all term for some genuine problems, which isn't always helpful. We are 'nc' with some relatives and with good reason, but that is considered weird in RL, not on MN it would seem, so I'm more likely to discuss it here precisely because people won't be horrified.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:40:03

I do not drink at home unless I know someone else is sober to take the kids to hospital.

Likewise. I call the sober person "the ambulance driver", and he has a special easy-to-remember telephone number I can dial, too.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:41:27

People who whip themselves up into a hysterical rage about what part their child has been allocated in a reception class nativity play.

People who whip themselves up into a hysterical rage if a teacher dares tell their naughty child to stop being naughty ("IT'S HUMILIAAATION!" "Oh I KNOW! Poor YOU OP! Things like this LIVE WITH OUR DC FOR EVER! I remember when Miss X was HORRID to me when I was 6 and I've NEVER GOT OVER IT!").

Golddigger Mon 16-Dec-13 12:43:57

Why is mumsnet so out of sync with our real lives?

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 12:45:13

grin @Friday

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 12:48:06

It took me a minute to get your post Friday - I was all hmm, then I was shockgrin - I must sharpen up!

DreamingofSummer Mon 16-Dec-13 12:48:22

I forgot to mention "I'm not going to have my children vaccinated as I don't want something toxic going inside their precious little bodies"

CalamitouslyWrong Mon 16-Dec-13 12:49:07

I think the internet amplifies the petty annoyances of life.

It also provides a meeting place for people with unusual beliefs, opinions and practices. Most people who don't share them, or don't feel hugely strongly, can't be arsed to post in response so you get quite a skewed version of reality.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:49:18

Oh and all the vomit inducing baby talk. I mean, you do see it in RL but not nearly as much as on here.


"I luffs him" ARRRGHHH

"My ickle man" I WANT TO KILL YOU

Endless others I can't even bring myself to write down.

Steben Mon 16-Dec-13 12:49:25

wine to friday16

And agree with the competitive chicken meal making. However I do know several people who have bought 4/5 prams and have never understood it.

Allegrogirl Mon 16-Dec-13 12:55:00

Elf on the shelf/christmas hampers

Class reps/contact lists for classmates parents/collections for teachers (DDs school clearly not well organised)

SAH vs WOH angst

BF/FF angst

Babybjorn horror

Children in tears over nursery/CM/after school club attendance

Random rudeness of strangers, particularly on public transport

Not drinking at home in case of emergencies

Screams of 'entitled' if you use/would like to use family for childcare

DingDongUriGelleryOnHigh Mon 16-Dec-13 12:55:16

Got the MN Legend that is The Checkout Rage Bitch yesterday. She had 3 items in her trolley so after~ giving her a nice gap OH started to put things on the belt. CRB tutting and grimacing began shoving our shopping back and back with the little plastic thing, til she had a fully clear belt for her 3 items.

We were in stitches, which infuriated the CRB even more. She hissed, "It's a good job I haven't got a full trolley isn't it?"

Till lady told her to calm down and apologised to us. She actually said, "Dont worry about her, look she's a Daily Mail reader". grin

Joysmum Mon 16-Dec-13 13:09:10

If I'd posted about half the arguments that had gone on in my marriage over the years and followed the general attitude on here:

We'd be bankrupt due to counselling costs
We'd be passive aggressive abusers
We'd be aggressive abusers
We'd be controlling
We'd believe we were sex addicts
We'd be selfish
I'd be a lazy SAHM with no life
Hubby would be using me as a slave
I'd be seen as a victim
He'd be seen as a victim
We'd be divorced!

Nobody with a happy marriage in real life has ever seen twatty behaviour as anything other than a bad day, it's not sinister or a red flag. Those that do see it this way because they are projecting and it's no wonder they are divorced.

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Mon 16-Dec-13 13:09:33

Sycophantic fawning over absolute strangers.

CalamitouslyWrong Mon 16-Dec-13 13:10:25

Arf @ she's a daily mail reader. grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:10:36

Actually I also cannot stand the Dear Children, Dear Husband acronyms. They are horrible American but all over message boards so I tolerate it and even sometimes use them

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 13:13:44

That is hilarious DingDong grin

I know these crazy parents exist, my SIL and DB are one. Apparently all the other parents think they are crazy.

Complain a lot about someone parking in front of your house - check
Complain loudly to the school about petty things e.g. your DS didnt change his clothes on an overnight trip with the school and the teacher didn't make him, even though he is 10. - check
Insist extended family go to all school plays and get there early to save seats for them - check
Tell anyone off loudly who you do not think should be using P&T spaces, including disabled people - check

etc, etc.

But I suspect if my SIL is on a parenting forum it will be netmums.

DreamingofSummer Mon 16-Dec-13 13:13:45

sebsmummy1 totally agree

ananikifo Mon 16-Dec-13 13:20:49

People who need to be told what to buy from Aldi or Lidl, or from a supermarket value range. It's not that big of a risk to try a different yoghurt for one week. Also people who plan a trip to ikea and then ask for recommendations on what to buy. Why would you going you don't know anything about the store or what you could buy there?

People who correct the teacher's grammar on their child's homework, or the doctor's grammar on a medical report.

People who think bread has to much salt for young children, and yogurt has too much sugar.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:33:14

Insist extended family go to all school plays and get there early to save seats for them

Which brings up another "exists only on MN" type: people who, when invited to waste spend an evening watching their second cousin's school play, are unable to say "no thanks, I'm afraid we won't be going" without creating some huge drama.

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 13:41:29

I think the problem is when parents bring children up with the expectation that of course certain relatives will attend plays, etc, the children do actually get disappointed if you dont go. I don't give a toss about the adults involved.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 13:41:31

Also don't forget all those women whose partner/husband isn't bothered about a joint account. Well they should LB, his obviously not committed (even if you have been together years) and his controlling.

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question. Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers that are just here to benefit bash and they want to see millions of children starve and on the streets.

Total agree with the DC/DC comment above.

Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 13:43:30

People who complain about Beaver/Cub/Scout/other organisations run by volunteers because they were late back from camp/didn't change their underwear for the weekend/aren't doing enough badges/whatever

Put up or shut up

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:46:01

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question.

Well, that's the achilles heel of politics, isn't it?

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 13:49:29

It is but in RL people can at least have a discussion about it. On MN people start handing out [biscuits] and chocolate medals. Crazy!

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:53:25

Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers

Well, if the cap fits... I am quite happy to accuse benefit bashers of being all these things in RL, face to face smile.

And the achilles heel thing was, you know, a joke. Ligament? Achilles heel? Well, I thought it was pretty good.

greenfolder Mon 16-Dec-13 13:53:46

people who use farrow and ball paint. £65 for five litres of something called elephants breath? Grey one assumes.

i once mentioned on a thread about someone wanting to tart up their kitchen before sale that we had bought some cream paint from Homebase (11 quid for 5 litres) and i would challenge anyone to spot the difference.

That was fun!

limitedperiodonly Mon 16-Dec-13 13:54:32

I don't think my mum ever attended a single school play or sports day. She was a bit busy and probably bored by them. I've coped.

I'd never have reminded of it because she'd have angrily denied it. She did have a selective memory wink

ComposHat Mon 16-Dec-13 13:58:26

Actually I also cannot stand the Dear Children, Dear Husband acronyms

I agree.

The other week someone had put up a post about the problems they were having with their step children.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

I don't refer to my wife as DW on here. It isn't because I don't love her, it is simply because I find it utterly nauseating.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:00:25

I don't refer to my wife as DW on here. It isn't because I don't love her, it is simply because I find it utterly nauseating.


I do use the DC thing because everybody else does but it does make me feel sick and I'm going to just type "child" in future.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:01:44

people go onto twitter with the DC crap and it just looks a bit sad
just say s1 or d2

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 14:03:13

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question. Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers that are just here to benefit bash and they want to see millions of children starve and on the streets

Well, the difference between a chat in RL and a thread on here, is that on here you will get facts with links to sources and people with actual first hand experience of the system, rather than the opinions and assumptions of someone in RL, which may or may not be near the truth.

If you wish to rant about the welfare state, talk to someone in RL.

If you wish to learn about the welfare state, start, read or post on a thread about it on MN.

You can of course rant about it on here, but don't expect it to go unchallenged/corrected.

livenlet Mon 16-Dec-13 14:03:35

Do you ride the bus in the city its full of nutt jobs and rude peple

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:03:41

when people ask for evidence as if its some kind of academic seminar

TheBigJessie Mon 16-Dec-13 14:03:58

This elf on the shelf thing. Sounds bloody creepy.

The ever-lasting chickens.

Rude elderly people who criticise your parenting on the bus. Elderly people always say nice supportive things to me about my children, or say nothing. I do, however, end up making conversation with people who turn out to be stuck in the 1950s, and think they have the green light to regale me with casual racism. angry

I did once eavesdrop on a woman telling her friend about the fight she had with her ex's new girlfriend at school pick-up. Natually, facebook statuses had been the catalyst for this fight in front of the children. So it doesn't just happen on MN.

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 14:04:39

I do use the DC thing because everybody else does but it does make me feel sick and I'm going to just type "child" in future

Me too, I sometimes rebel and type out the full 'name' of the person concerned.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 14:05:39

I'm happy to report I've never used "DH" or "DC". I loathe this so.

I have never received a gift list in a wedding invitation.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:06:30

PMSL at greenfolder re. Farrow and Ball paint grin

I used that stuff once and it's as thin as piss, you need 15 coats to cover a pencil line. I love the evocative heritage titles that entice you to see past the hefty price tag. It's all about aspirations living so I'm told wink

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:07:34


livenlet Mon 16-Dec-13 14:07:34

Did wonder wat the extra d meant in going with dependant it suits my fam more than dear

redexpat Mon 16-Dec-13 14:08:40

The competative love of red hair. All those threads that start 'x person made a horrible comment about my rehead DS' end in a competition of who loves gingers the most. I wish there were more of them in real life grin

And oh yes freddie the expectations of what Guides, Brownies, Cubs do are the most unrealistic I have ever seen!

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:08:51

when people ask for evidence as if its some kind of academic seminar

Yes, because god forbid that when somebody posts ill informed, unsubstantiated bollocks about ooh, I don't know, immigration or benefits somebody should ask them how they've reached their ridiculous conclusions...

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 14:09:22

Farrow and Ball paint = The Emperors new clothes of the decorating world.

Fools and their money...

redexpat Mon 16-Dec-13 14:10:39

Oh and everyone hates their HV here. I don't know anyone who hates them in real life. Mine was wonderful.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 14:14:22

Oh yes. The irrational hatred of HV's. Mine was great too.

RavenRose Mon 16-Dec-13 14:19:24

I don't know anyone who actually gives a stuff how many or what Christmas presents you get for your own children.

Even if its an iPad. Actually I don't know anyone who would care about kids being given techy stuff either

ComposHat Mon 16-Dec-13 14:20:03

Farrow and Ball paint = The Emperors new clothes of the decorating world

Agreed. Absolute and utter mince their paint. Most professional decorators refuse to use it.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 14:20:07

YY about the competitive ginger loving redexpat; my sister was on the verge of making her titian pfb wear a hat for ever because of all the 'sorry for your ginger' headtilts that she got in real life - had she only lived in MN world she would have been revered!!

TheBigJessie Mon 16-Dec-13 14:20:20

Actually, I must confess that after all the stuff about Farrow and Ball, I am intrigued! If we ever become rich, and we buy a house with damp bits (obviously I would prefer a non-damp house), I will try F&B on the damp bits. See if it really does allow the walls to breathe.

'Cos Wilko's own isn't doing the damp here any good.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:20:41

God forbid anyone just post anything they think or feel without substantiating those thoughts and feelings with peer supported evidence or encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject.

Because everyone I know in RL only talks about things they have qualifications in. Every other subject is off the table.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 14:23:39

Compo, whilst you're back on the thread I need to tell you that I do actually have my 'semaphore badge' from when I was a brownie.

I am off to do some red-flag refresher training this afternoon, I think!

LittleBairn Mon 16-Dec-13 14:24:21

fblush I admit I'm loo brush phobic. Drives my DH mad he doesn't believe others have the same issues.

Greensleeves Mon 16-Dec-13 14:27:20

People eating salad with EVERY meal

pizza and salad, lasagne and salad, pasta and salad, jam roly poly with fucking salad

we do eat salad, we are not veg-dodgers, but every single "what's for dinner" thread makes me feel inadequate that we don't have salad with everything

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:29:10

Green sleeves you are inviting comment now from a whole host of people who wish they could afford to have salad with every meal and you are fortunate to be able to consider implementing this, when they unfortunately cannot.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:29:34

*God forbid anyone just post anything they think or feel without substantiating those thoughts and feelings with peer supported evidence or encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject.

Because everyone I know in RL only talks about things they have qualifications in. Every other subject is off the table.*

Errr, I think there is a difference between asking somebody to have a degree in a subject before commenting and expecting they will have some very basic knowledge of what they're commenting on. I'm thinking of the large number of posters who complain, for example, that there are too many immigrants without actually having ANY knowledge of the extent of immigration in this country, the economic impact etc. etc. Just basically spouting ill informed tripe they've heard other people say. Making massive claims (like "there are too many immigrants" or "we can't afford the welfare bill") when you know literally nothing about these issues is irritating and I think people should expect to be picked up on it. I haven't seen many MN members demand that others cite a range of academic articles, but I have seen them ask for a bit of basic evidence to support a contentious claim. Nothing wrong with that.

kaymondo Mon 16-Dec-13 14:29:42

The competitive threads over how little you can leave the house with, ie I have 13 children and leave the house with a nappy and half a tissue in my pocket, can't understand why anyone needs a change bag - and usually on threads where people are asking for recommendations for changes bags, if you don't use one, why post!

I do not know 1 parent in real life who doesn't use a change bag for first couple of years a least!

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:29:52

Freaks who refuse to cut their kids (normally boys) "lovely curls" that actually look like ratty piles of crap.

Obv the girls get haircuts regular like

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:30:34

I give footnotes when talking about everything obv.

Not just recirved wisdom like all of us ;)

2Tinsellytocare Mon 16-Dec-13 14:31:29

I've never heard the term 'apologist' anywhere except MN.

OP's being called judgey when saying they heard someone calling their child a cunt etc etc, 'oh it's just a snapshot of their liiiife, that's how some people show affection'

People slagging people off for not being a SAHM or being a SAHM, but I would add that last time I looked it is working, as A SAHM I often work nights too!

People prizing pets over their own DC!

YY to sycophancy of complete strangers

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 14:32:20

You see even just mentioning the welfare system on here raises a response. Thankfully I have never raised a benefit thread so I don't have to worry about it. Bt it always amuses me when someone does. Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

Simply brilliant. Ha ha ha grin

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 14:32:44

You see even just mentioning the welfare system on here raises a response. Thankfully I have never raised a benefit thread so I don't have to worry about it. Bt it always amuses me when someone does. Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

Simply brilliant. Ha ha ha grin

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:33:55

Plus. No one ever allowed to get pissed off with their mates.

"Some friend you are" etc

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:35:47

Sadly, the bit about expectations of Cub leaders etc. does chime with me in RL. I was a leader for a short while but have friends who have been leaders for years. It doesn't happen often luckily, but they have definitely been at the receiving end of occasional parental meltdowns when children have returned home with dirty clothes from Cub camp for example. I mean what is Cub camp for if not to get your clothes dirty?

daisychain01 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:36:06

People with angst and anxiety attacks about giving their 5 year old DC a tablet that isnt Apple <shreaks and runs for the hills> in case it doesn't meet their little darling's approval and they reject it, so it lies forgotten and languishes in the toy cupboard (if such a thing still exists).

Eki-thump, I was lucky to get a tangerine at the age of 5!

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:36:14

Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL

Oh please. A simple google search will show you how widely this term is used.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:36:38

Dorothy I know that's the contention, however I rarely see these posts that many seem to think proliferate the boards.

The way posters are immediately admonished for mentioning countless of subjects is breath taking on here. All it takes is one nasty reply and it's like a pack mentality takes over. In RL it would be called bullying, on here it's called reeducating the misinformed.

meddie Mon 16-Dec-13 14:37:32

Rofl about cub camp. I was wondering if it was even worth [acking more than one pair of underpants for my sons week long trip. i never expected 6 dirty pairs back ever

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:37:58

But some stuff on here I am surprised about - have people really not ever sent or received a thank you letter for a child's birthday present? I am very slow at getting them done but I do do them.

And never receving a gift list in a wedding invitation? I am amazed - I guess it must be the different circles we all move in.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:38:35

I'm thinking of the large number of posters who complain, for example, that there are too many immigrants without actually having ANY knowledge of the extent of immigration in this country,

See here for IPSOS-Mori poll on "the top 10 things we get wrong"

7. Immigration and ethnicity: the public think that 31% of the population are immigrants, when the official figures are 13%[viii]. Even estimates that attempt to account for illegal immigration suggest a figure closer to 15%. There are similar misperceptions on ethnicity: the average estimate is that Black and Asian people make up 30% of the population, when it is actually 11% (or 14% if we include mixed and other non-white ethnic groups)[ix].

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:38:55

Sebsmumy- but Xmas tradition threads?;)

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 14:40:10

cat shit, apparently it's all over gardens everywhere and blinding children in a regular basis!

anyone actually giving a fucking flying shit whether anyone else breast feeds or formula feeds.

anyone who limits the amount of screen time their kids have. actually met one who didn't have a tv in RL and their kid was never invited to tea as he downy the whole time watching the tv at other people's houses.

anyone anywhere who actually says 'play date'.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:42:54

The best example I read of judgey pants was the poster who dared suggest that cold garlic bread and chips wasn't the best lunch for one of the nursery children she had observed that day and did anyone agree.

Well of course no one agreed and the consensus was she should wind her middle class neck in and keep the cuntibg hell out.

I would be very interested to read what her replies would have been had she posted that she had sent her daughter into nursery with a cold Bhuna from the local takeaway because the DM grin was late that morning and did anyone think that was wrong? I imagine she would have been hung up for it.

Daddypigsgusset Mon 16-Dec-13 14:43:37

Answering requests for favours with 'that does not work for me' rather than 'sorry, I won't be able to make it' DO NOT APOLOGISE EVER!

wigglesrock Mon 16-Dec-13 14:43:57

No, if my child has a party with school friends - we say thank you when we get a present, again when they leave & I would sent a quick text that evening. We see our families a few times a week, the kids see them on their birthday, lots of hugs & kisses & thank yous in person - I really don't send a thank you card as well & I've always given presents in person so really not sure why a thank you card would be needed smile

I've 2 kids in primary school, one in pre-school, several nieces & nephews, most of my friends have kids & not one birthday thank you letter/card between us & some of them are terribly naice. Maybe it's just not done where I am. Certainly we didn't write them as kids.

HoneyStepMummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:44:11

Competetive poverty. Threads and threads about how people are outraged that they are being asked to donate 2p to their kids school/teacher's Xmas gift fund.
Endless batch cooking as a solution to being stressed and overwhelmed- as if a big Tupperware dish of freezer burnt chili con carne is going to make life any easier.
Lots of LTB comments if anyone's DH dares to be a grown up with sexual needs or desires to out to the pub for a pint with his mates. If someone's DH suggests sex more than once a year it's "rape" and LTB. If the poor bloke resorts to porn then he's a perv so LTB.
Competetive SN kids. In RL I do not know anyone with SN kids apart from myself.
There was a thread where a mum thought it a bit rude that kids turn up completely empty handed to a kid's birthday party. Someone said even if the parents are really broke surely the kid could make a card themselves...the outlash was that "some people can't afford paper. Surely it's more important the kids show up to have a good time"

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 14:46:57

I agree that porn is unacceptable. For many of us, it is a deal breaker.

daisychain01 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:48:15

OK, I admit it blush I'm that fool - yup the one and only RL user of F&B it would appear smile - we got the Jonah White ... it isn't White and I haven't the foggiest who Jonah is, but I've got his paint!.

it does look gorgeous. And it goes a long way. Hey ho, maybe in 6 months time it will have peeled off ...

I'd love to know who makes up all the daft names "Mizzle" "Ball Green" "Elephants Breathe" (urghh).

HoneyStepMummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:48:48

ha ha sebsmummy1 I remember that thread. I think the outcry was that the child may have SN (competetive SN) or the parents can't afford anything else (competetive poverty).

daisychain01 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:50:51

Grennie - yes I agree with you 100% it would be a deal-breaker, why would anyone accept that (but sadly they do ... and dare I say it, they convince themselves, its OK I like it too ... hmmm right, OK)

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 14:51:59

thebody with you on all of them.

Very few acquaintances in rl seem to give a toss how I parent (bf/ff, wean age/co-sleep/sleep training blah blah blah), I don't give a rats how they do. I do, however, discuss it amongst friends if it's relevant or if invited to.

My cat presumably shits in gardens and that suits me as I don't have to empty a litter tray any more.

My kids seem to watch a lot of tv, but they also go out to play shock - they have done since they were about 4 shockshock - my 11 year old even goes off across town to call on his friends shockshockshock.

Aquariusgirl86 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:52:31

The phrase "you sound entitled"

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:56:27

Does anyone else actually (literally) wince sometimes when they read an opening post and know that in a matter of minutes the gates if he'll set going to (metaphorically) open and they are going to be ripped to shreds until they are gibbering wrecks?

Sometimes I find myself muttering flee flee, save yourself, think of the children for god sake grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:56:48

Of hell

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:57:24

Interesting wigglesrock. I must admit there is a move amongst some of my younger friends (I am an old gimmer and late mother) towards thanks for presents on facebook or by email or text, which is fine I agree. I wouldn't write to a relative we had thanked in person when the present was opened but we don't normally open presents at children's birthday parties (doubt many people do) so have to do thanks afterwards one way or another.

I always had to write thank you letters as a child so I guess it is a hang up. Even at my advanced age, my mother still asks me if I have written to such and such a relative who has sent a present and gives me the stinkeye if I haven't got round to it.

Mind you, it is a flipping nightmare when the cards and presents get mixed up as they did at my daughter's last birthday party.

happyhorse Mon 16-Dec-13 14:58:46

Whenever there's a thread about meal planning or cheap dinners there will always be people suggesting whipping up a batch of dhal. I don't think I've ever met anyone as obsessed with dhal in the real world.

FCEK Mon 16-Dec-13 15:09:45

The use of moon cups. I know no one who uses them in RL (or ever would). First heard of them on MN and still Boak.

fatlazymummy Mon 16-Dec-13 15:10:43

Breastfeeding in swimming pools. Breastfeeding in supermarkets. All the bf ing mums I know go in a baby room ,find a bench or just wait until they get home.
One person eating an omelette with 4 eggs and 7 slices of ham to themselves.

candycoatedwaterdrops Mon 16-Dec-13 15:12:12

That so many people live where there are pavements are so covered in dog shit, you cannot take one single step without stepping in it. Now, I'm not saying that some pavements are not covered in dog crap but there are so many places?

GoldenGytha Mon 16-Dec-13 15:13:41

I don't drink alcohol, and never had it in the house when the DC were younger, even they at 22, 20 and 19 don't really drink or have it in the house.

I cared about reading bands/levels, have toxic parents.

We all write thank you letters, and someone mentioned non drivers earlier,

I dont drive and neither do any of my DC.

Oh and people get all het up on here about any female over 16 being referred to as "girls" insisting they're "women"

No one I know, and I certainly don't refer to them as such, they're girls (and I include my own 2 DDs in this) til about age 30!

HoneyStepMummy Mon 16-Dec-13 15:15:55

And more more thing- like another poster stated why does everyone claim not to have a tumble dryer??

fatlazymummy Mon 16-Dec-13 15:17:13

I'm a non-driver, and I know quite a few others ,as well.

TheBigJessie Mon 16-Dec-13 15:20:33

The best example I read of judgey pants was the poster who dared suggest that cold garlic bread and chips wasn't the best lunch for one of the nursery children she had observed that day and did anyone agree.

Well of course no one agreed and the consensus was she should wind her middle class neck in and keep the cuntibg hell out.

I would be very interested to read what her replies would have been had she posted that she had sent her daughter into nursery with a cold Bhuna from the local takeaway because the DMwas late that morning and did anyone think that was wrong? I imagine she would have been hung up for it.

Yes, I saw that thread, and it was... odd, to say the least.

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 15:24:56

Yes I saw that thread and agreed it wasn't a great lunch. But I knew better than to get involved in it.

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 15:28:47

monicalewinski you let your 11 year old out alone?? grin

fcek totally on you about moon cups. have made an effort to ask every single friend and work colleague ' have you ever had or ever used a mooncup?' and no one had either heard of it seen one.

apostrophise???? who gives a fuck.

AdmiralData Mon 16-Dec-13 15:29:52

I know 3 people in RL who actually care, ALOT about bf/ff. I'm not one of them.
(One told me I absolutely SHOULD breastfeed like she does and not 'shove crap down C throat') Another told me it was absolutely disgusting as breasts are sexual in nature. (Whollleeeeee other thread there). The third is 'BREASTFEEDING IS BEST but do as you please as you will never compare to use supermummys'.

Wouldn't give my son yesterdays takeaway for school dinner as husband will inevitably not have left any.

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 15:32:48

Admiral yes to be fair I do remember a loony acquaintance who banged in about how everyone SHOULD bf but assume such people are best shunned as clearly deranged.

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 15:54:44

Fruit shoots (occasional), McDonalds and telly as a (temporary) babysitter. They are all widely indulged in in RL - I would get nothing done at all without the Peppa Pig DVDs.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:01:05

Dorothy not sure about you but I don't consider google to be my RL. Again in my RL you never hear the phrase benefit bashing.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:01:28

Dorothy not sure about you but I don't consider google to be my RL. Again in my RL you never hear the phrase benefit bashing.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:02:20

Excuse double posts. Grrr iPhones.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:08:04

oh ffs benefit bashing is a tabloid term


randomAXEofkindness Mon 16-Dec-13 16:10:15

One person eating an omelette with 4 eggs and 7 slices of ham to themselves.

I could polish that off, no problemo.

Everyone I know hates their inlaws.

I go all in for most of the stuff mentioned. I talk like a bit of a worthy bastard in rl as well though. I might be an arse, but I'm an arse with integrity.

I did see someone slagging off an op for putting an apple in a packed lunch - too sugery. What a piss-take. Everyone I know/see/hear of in rl feeds their kids shite. Only on mn do people balk at the sugar content of a friggin apple.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:11:25

Dorothy not sure about you but I don't consider google to be my RL. Again in my RL you never hear the phrase benefit bashing.

Oh dear. My point was that if you google the term, you will see that it is used in a wide range of media and by a wide range of people from lots of different walks of life. You said it wasn't heard a lot in "RL". Maybe you don't hear it, but I do, and clearly so do a lot of others.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:11:41

*Does anyone else actually (literally) wince sometimes when they read an opening post and know that in a matter of minutes the gates if he'll set going to (metaphorically) open and they are going to be ripped to shreds until they are gibbering wrecks?

Sometimes I find myself muttering flee flee, save yourself, think of the children for god sake*

Yes I do. Brilliant. Ha ha ha ha

DadOnIce Mon 16-Dec-13 16:12:10

Those paint names - JonahWhite, Mizzle, BallGreen, ElephantsBreathe - could be the nicknames of mumsnet posters smile

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:13:29

Dorothy seriously I think we can drop it now.

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 16:14:10

people who always add ' but I am a little but OCD on cleaning.

it's a stealth boast in how clean their house is to complete strangers who don't give a crap and you are not OCD!!!

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:19:05

Dorothy seriously I think we can drop it now.

Another MN pet hate: poster writes an obtuse response, and when you point out that they have posted an obtuse response, decides they've had enough and can smugly tell you what/when to post. Jog on.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:21:18

grin ha ha ha ha

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:23:18



FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 16-Dec-13 16:25:24

Thankfully I don't know anyone in RL who uses wanky phrases like "competitive SN kids" wink

GastonIsAKnob Mon 16-Dec-13 16:25:29

I love the phrase jog on grin

Beeyump Mon 16-Dec-13 16:28:54

I have never heard anyone say 'Fanfuckingtastic' in real life. Shame.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:29:50

i tell you what always gets a snigger
People havent heard it for years.
My phone even recognises it now.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:31:15

How can SAHM's be a myth confused

I'm a SAHM. I'm real. I exist. Here I am! I'm not a fecking unicorn. Why is SAHM such a weird thing to believe.

Didn't know I was being (silently, and isn't it always silently?) judged for FF my dc/feeding them out of jars/giving them a Fruit Shoot/putting them in a character t-shirt/weaning them with cocaine* until I came on here. I stupidly thought no one actually gave a shit about bollocks that because it's no one else's bloody business. Turns out I'm a shit parent though - who knew grin

I've had more than one pushchair - guilty grin. But only because the bus we used to get was older than I am (completely true!) and you couldn't wheel your pushchair on, so I needed a one-hand fold, which the travel system wasn't.

*one of these isn't true, but I'll leave it up to you to work out which one...

susiedaisy Mon 16-Dec-13 16:32:54

On MN there are people who can make a medium sized chicken feed a family of five for a week. And people who always buy their food first in a cafe and then wander round looking for a free table because it's impolite to get a table first .
In RL that chicken lasts one meal maybe two at a push and if there's more than one of you in your group someone always bagsys a table whilst the other person buys the food!

Beeyump Mon 16-Dec-13 16:36:56

People call their sons Cosmo, or Winston.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:37:07

Great thread!
I think that a lot has been mentioned.
I don't know:
People who have problem ILs
People who analyse every word,or who scrutinise envelopes to see how they are addressed and then take umbrage.
People who won't answer their door ( in daylight anyway)
People who don't want Christmas cards because they are 'messy'.
People who would prefer not to go to their child's school play.
People who have a bright articulate 2year old who can count, do jigsaws, recognise letters etc and worry that a school can't cope with them.
Families with visitors and children and a buggy who insist on everyone in the party queuing in a self service cafe and then getting annoyed with those who use common sense and get seats first, or at least park the children.
People who insist you take your shoes off in their house.
People who think that magic at Christmas is lying.
Children aged 11yrs who really believe in Father Christmas to the extent that they will be 'traumatised' to get the truth because they have never questioned the logistics.
People who would go to a wedding without taking or sending a present.
People who do any parenting with a label as in 'I am a UP parent' or anyone who would 'wear' their baby.
People who police visitors when they have a baby.
People who send their child to nursery and expect them to come out clean.
Anyone who has breast fed past 3years.

I expect there is more

I have been told to 'cheer up, it might never happen' when it had happened and my 6 yr old has been told to 'grow up' in a children's playground! ( by the mother of a 2 yr old who might have got a shock with her child 4 yrs on!) And I have seen countless rows about parking, especially outside schools.

NotYoMomma Mon 16-Dec-13 16:37:51

little girls called Claudia

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:38:16

Cross posted about the cafe susie!

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 16:40:53

There are plenty of people who insist visitors take shoes off, unfortunately.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 16:42:16

little girls called Claudia

Now surely this can't be considered strange.

Beeyump Mon 16-Dec-13 16:43:57

I know a little girl called Claudia! How unintentionally MN of me, cool grin

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 16:44:12

I have just had an LOL at SatinSandal's post.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:45:38

I lie- I know one house where I have to take my shoes off.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:46:23

I also know one house where the grandchildren are not allowed beyond the kitchen!

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:47:47

I would say people who don't let their children out of their sight until they're 18 and starting university, but then my friend wrote on Facebook about being 'proud of her daughter for getting the bus home (from secondary school!) without getting lost confused.

Have we covered people who still organise their offspring's 'playdates' when they're in secondary school?

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:49:07

Do they do that, Heartbroken? Really?!

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:49:27

The mn world is just humor for me. I don't really know any of the people or issues described. The real world is so much nicer.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:50:17

Just been inspired by another thread:

People who still insist on saying how many years and months their child is one they're past 3.

Your child is not 6.3 - your child is 6. How long do these parents keep adding the months?

That would make my dc - 12.1, 8.11 and 5.4 - which just looks stupid!

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:50:21

i never get a table first

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:50:57

Satin - which bit of my post do you mean?

Elucidate ye!

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:50:57

god yes i hate the years and months thing

or how old their kid is next birthday
"she is three in june"

right. so she is 2 then

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:51:29

Hanne - I've just laughed really loudly at that!

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:54:57

We've just had new cream carpet laid throughout (50oz 80/20 with 11mm underlay) stealth boast grin So all you cat-shit-smeared bastards with excrement coated shoes can absolutely take your shoes off before entering. Thanking you.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 16-Dec-13 16:56:28

People who actually think Ella's pouches are superior to jars

They bloody well are.

You cannot take a jar remove the lid put it on its side and punch it with the same amusing results unless you are hard as fuck and don't mind a shredded hand

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 16:56:53

I've never actually met anyone so up tight that removing shoes is offensive. Most people I know are perfectly normal and remove them automatically grin

Weller Mon 16-Dec-13 16:57:50

Primary and secondary families, so you are in your parents primary family but once you have kids they are relegated to your secondary family. Never heard this language in real life.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:58:39

i never have till now

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 17:00:15


Greensleeves Mon 16-Dec-13 17:00:59

I have an 11yo who believes in Santa

but then, he has competitive SN Aspergers and is gullible

so up yer flaps! grin

Greensleeves Mon 16-Dec-13 17:01:57

primary family hmm

is there a tertiary family?

randomAXEofkindness Mon 16-Dec-13 17:02:16

I insist my inlaws take their shoes off, but that's because they're toxic and I hate them (true story). Hang on, I think I'm on to something...

randomAXEofkindness Mon 16-Dec-13 17:05:19

Me and dh say fanfuckingtasic all the time. I thought we made it up.

ViviPru Mon 16-Dec-13 17:13:25

Can someone please link me to where Elf on the Shelf has been mentioned because I haven't come across reference to it on MN at all, and I'm curious to see if my (obsessed with it) RL friend has been the catalyst of someones E-o-t-S rage....

complexnumber Mon 16-Dec-13 17:13:46

There was an OP recently that basically was asking what filling they should have in their Subway sarnie (sorry if that irritates anyone)

People have to refer to a Discussion website to be advised on what your sandwich filling should be!

And other people were replying!!!!

complexnumber Mon 16-Dec-13 17:24:58

People who type things such as "As a rule, I will have killed the thread by entering this post"

(Self fulfilling prophecy? Please.....)

Absy Mon 16-Dec-13 17:25:02

"do you mean to be so rude". Really? Given the chance you'd use that rather than "stop being such an arse" or "oh just fuck off"?

Come on. Please.

Ragwort Mon 16-Dec-13 17:28:58

All the angst about religion - 'I am furious, my child is expected to say a prayer at school', who shall I complain to? shock.I never come across this in R/L. Everyone I know is desperate to get their child into a faith school, loves all the church services, nativity plays, free Church activities etc etc.

The sort of meals Mumsnetters seem to have routinely - grilled sea bass with sauteed mediteranean vegetables followed by freshly poached white peaches - surely most people have fish fingers & chips followed by a yogurt on weekday nights grin.

The Style & Beauty threads 'shall I spend £500 on a handbag', 'what do you wear on the school run' and other similar crap - never hear this sort of thing in RL.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 17:42:52

People who are routinely late for school or anything. Not one person I know who has a baby struggles that much to get a baby grow and coat on and strap them into a pram and wAlk to the school.

People who can't leave their 13 year olds home fir two hours with a yogurt and packet if biscuits incase they die of hunger in the short time you are gone.

People with children who drink gallons of milk a day and think that's a good thing.

Nancy66 Mon 16-Dec-13 17:46:36

Never seen these public transport bullies who push little old ladies and pregnant women out of the way to bag a seat.

Don't know anyone who is a school gate bitch or who has been on the receiving end of school mum bitchiness.

Have never encountered women who start imagining that their partners have been horribly murdered or mangled when they go to the shops and are 10 mins longer than they should be.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 17:49:42

You should my kids new school Giles.

This is no exaggeration: roughly three quarters of DS2's class are late every day. Seriously. I've never seen such a poor attitude to timekeeping. There was a letter sent out before half-term about being on time - hasn't made a jot of difference.

When DS goes into the classroom in the morning, there are four or five others who go in too. The rest of the class are trundling in with their parents as they (the parents) please, no sense of urgency or anything. Quite a few of the parents are still standing around gassing on the playground or by the gates 5 or 10 minutes after the door has happened, while their kids are still running around.

I'm so used to it now I'm not even shocked anymore.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 17:50:37

Ooooh, I've also seen many a playground bust-up between Mums! This was at our previous school in a naice area.

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 17:51:22

Admiral yes to be fair I do remember a loony acquaintance who banged in about how everyone SHOULD bf but assume such people are best shunned as clearly deranged.

Yes I assume that too also anyone who harps on about what other people should be doing regarding how they run their own households, who works and how long they intend to stay at home for. Whatever way they do things is clearly the only correct way...

I presume they go online to get an audience because people in RL make excuses to get away from them grin

DeckTheHallsWithBoughsOfHorry Mon 16-Dec-13 18:20:43

Beeyump I had a lecture at university that covered infixes demonstrated by such words as fanfuckingtastic. The lecturer explained quite solemnly that this phenomenon only really happens in English in profanities, but how terribly linguistically significant that is grin You'd have loved it.

needaholidaynow Mon 16-Dec-13 18:33:36

How stepmums are meant to think, feel, act. Before I came on MN I just went with the flow but now that I've seen so much shit on here (apparently DSD is my "first born") I'm very paranoid.

mintberry Mon 16-Dec-13 19:01:05

I once saw someone on MN launching a long, moralising attack another poster for mentioning putting the washing out while her I think 6 year old was watching the telly inside because "what if a bee got in and stung him!" You what.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 19:04:04

Are you serious mint shock

Sometimes I wonder how people are still alive because they can't leave anything long enough to breathe

Geckos48 Mon 16-Dec-13 19:04:44

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question.

Well, that's the achilles heel of politics, isn't it?

Oh my goodness, Friday you have just made me wee a little bit...

mintberry Mon 16-Dec-13 19:05:44

needaholiday Yes, that tends to go full circle in my experience.

Stage 1: You do nice things for your SC, you are happy and they are happy.
Stage 2: Enter Mumsnet, become shocked and defensive at the assumption that you are assumed to be a cancerous bitch.
Stage 3: Become alarmed that you really are a cancerous bitch!?
Stage 4: Stop caring, return to stage 1.

mintberry Mon 16-Dec-13 19:06:54

whoops, no need for that second 'assumed' ^

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 19:07:10

Satin - which bit of my post do you mean?

The bit that parents of secondary pupils still arrange play dates. I thought that I had heard it all on MN and couldn't be surprised, but obviously not!

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 19:10:14

I have an 11 year old and I still have to sort out his playdates (sigh). I worry about him. He never leaves the house alone unless I force him to.

Bowlersarm Mon 16-Dec-13 19:12:43

Play dates arranged here as well, until aged 11/12.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 19:16:44

Glad I'm not the only one.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 19:19:42

I once saw someone on MN launching a long, moralising attack another poster for mentioning putting the washing out while her I think 6 year old was watching the telly inside because "what if a bee got in and stung him!"

I hate hysterical parenting, and people who try to suck you into it.

I told my MIL that my 8 year old got a water bottle and how adorable I thought it was that he must have it for bed every night like an old man. She said "waterbottles are dangerous! They can BURN you! What if it opens!" blah blah blah blah and basically just made me want to kill her.

I came home and told my husband and we LOL'd for a good long while.

ThisIsMyRealChristmasName Mon 16-Dec-13 19:23:31

People who micro-manage their childrens diets to such an extent that they refuse to let them have so much as a sniff of refined sugar until they hit their teens and then erupt in fury when a grandparent dares to give 4 year old DC a packet of chocolate buttons.

Continuing with the food theme, people who are horrified at the idea of cooking frozen yorkshire puds/ roast potatoes/etc and seem to think they are somehow 'lesser.' They taste perfectly fine ffs and there's nothing wrong withndoing things the easy way sometimes.

And thinking that a gift list for a wedding is somehow entitled or grabby. It's normal surely? fconfused

Beeyump Mon 16-Dec-13 19:24:54

DeckTheHalls - I would have adored that!

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 19:28:08

who fucking actually says play dates??? stop right now! far too twee!!!

bluecheeseforbreakfast Mon 16-Dec-13 19:28:56

I am very confused as to what you can and can't use in terms of adjectives when talking about a disability. Is it right that you can't say "my autistic son" but you can say "my son who has autism" is the same true for all things, can you say "my dyslexic cousin" or "my spanish friend"?

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 19:29:45

It's horrible isn't it?

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 19:34:33

how the fuck do you 'wear a baby?'

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 19:34:47

And the ones who moan because a child has a birthday and gives out a few sweets at the end of the day at school.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 19:38:53

how the fuck do you 'wear a baby?'

They treat them like a handbag! It is a term used on MN rather than carrying a baby in a sling. It goes with 'attachment parenting'- another ridiculous term!

RayPurchase Mon 16-Dec-13 19:47:24

"Red Herrings" Fuck OFF Sherlock.

daisychain01 Mon 16-Dec-13 19:47:34

So, so true mintberry the 4 Stages of DSM.

After being on MN only a matter of weeks, I found myself feeling guilty at the realisation that I tell DSS that I love him and hug him back when he puts his arms round me - how very dare I I'm a cancerous bitch who ought to be ashamed of myself, I should be aloof, cold and detached in case my DSS gets awwwwwl confused.

Stage 4 did become Stage 1 pronto grin

cantbelievemyeyes Mon 16-Dec-13 19:49:29

Love the idea of carrying baby in a sling and plan to give it a go when the time comes. Hate the phrase 'baby wearing' though. Immediately picture a naked mother draped in nothing but a couple of kiddies, in the style of a sandwich board.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 20:09:24


Well, it obviously goes on (as two posters have testified!) but it was more that there was a thread about two boys at secondary school who were friends, but the OP was still talking about her son and his 'playdates', like they were about 5.

I've never used the term to begin with, but for 12 year olds? My DD has just turned 12 - she would laugh in my face if I referred to her going to a friend's as a 'playdate'!

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 20:15:37

satin yes agree wearing a baby and attached parenting bloody daft phrases. what's unattached parenting?

I suppose the cold ones who have a cot, pram and 'HOLY FUCK bottle feed.

if you are British using term play date is wankerish.

desertmum Mon 16-Dec-13 20:22:47

I had never heard of a mooncup and had to google it - I would actually need a moonbucket when my period starts - it's like Niagara Falls - no thanks - and yes I think it's wierd

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 20:23:49

Quite right daisychain- you must have nothing to do with him and can never see him without his father and never tell him what to do in your house! (Where do these people live?hmm You are nothing to him, merely his father's wife!

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 20:29:00

desertmum moon bucket grin lovely

arethereanyleftatall Mon 16-Dec-13 20:29:16

Love this thread. At last all the normal people together.
Agree with all the above.

puntasticusername Mon 16-Dec-13 20:31:01

People who get all sneery when you talk about a child's father "babysitting". "You don't babysit your own children, dear".


arethereanyleftatall Mon 16-Dec-13 20:31:46

Oh, what about the poster incandescent with rage where her ds was excluded from school Christmas nativity, who then went on to say on page 4 she's told the school to not involve him in any religious activity.....

lljkk Mon 16-Dec-13 20:33:57

People who can genuinely say that they have never done anything violent or shameful.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 20:33:59

I loved that thread! She withdrew him from anything religious and was raging because she couldn't watch him on stage!

harticus Mon 16-Dec-13 20:40:13

a cancerous bitch

Something I have only ever seen on MN and never in RL is the use of "cancerous" as a pejorative adjective.

As someone with cancer I would really love someone to describe to me exactly what this term means.

My friend that recently died of this disease and left her 11 year old son was she a "cancerous bitch" too?

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 20:41:22

I know someone who loved all the Nativity stuff and didn't bat an eyelid but threw a major strop at Easter because how dare the school teach her son about Jesus!

HoneyStepMummy Mon 16-Dec-13 20:53:37

Last year on Mother's Day a stepmum who was raising her teenage stepkid with her DH was upset when she didn't get a card or gift. She was told that the SC "has a mum, and you're not it". She was also told not to "ruin SC's mum's special day" and she wasn't the kid's mother, just a "woman who happens to live in DH's house". Luckily the stepmum did end up getting a card and gift so it ended well...and no it wasn't me..

BigChocolateOrange Mon 16-Dec-13 20:59:22

People getting excited about finding shopping lists. I feel like it was a joke that was funny once but now people say it to try and make out they're one of the cool kids.

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 16-Dec-13 21:01:33


I know a "shoes off in my house" type. He's probably the biggest twat I have ever met. Also my not so dear brother in law.

I don't the "what nickname can we give our baby?" stuff. I mean, what the fuck?

People who never judge anybody ever and all those who do will burn for eternity in the fiery pits of hell. I judge people all the time, split second snap judgements. We all do it. Why lie?

TirAnna Mon 16-Dec-13 21:19:42

Love this thread. At last all the normal people together.


Has anyone mentioned how if someone has an unpopular opinion they're clearly A Man shock yet?

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:26:56

Posters being advised their partners family is the partners responsibility and then they can't understand why the il don't like them. Horrible advice.

SugarHut Mon 16-Dec-13 21:31:41

Wanky, creepy, overkill Elf on the Shelf. Back in the box of plastic Christmas tat with you!!

Whistleblower0 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:33:10

Oh there are loads of them, and they have mostly been covered already.
I have a few favourites though that make me laugh out load,- doesn't matter how many times i read them!

Precious flowers complaining that somebody took the p&c parking space, and they didn't have a child with them, and it should be a hanging offencesmile ditto, pregnant women on public transport expecting other passangers to give up their seats, no matter what the circumstances are.

mothers who never go out to socialise, cos they cant bear to leave their kids with anyone else for a couple of hours. This usually includes the father.fsmile

The endless introspection and naval gazing about BF. No women i know gives a fuck how other women feed their child.
Anyone who calls a child a brat will be immediately pounced upon, and asked to consider that they probably have an SN, and they must be able to do what they like because of said sn or even an sn that hasn't yet been diagnosed.

'spirited' children.hmm

The posters who think drinking a a few glasses lf wine a week is seriously decadent, not to mention life threathing..

And last but not least, the endless chicken dinners, y know, i can make a chicken last a whole week and feed a family of 6. They are seriously funny.
None of it resembles real life at all, but i guess that's why it's so entertaining.

Whistleblower0 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:35:22

Oh how could i forget, the posters who think that because they are pregnant, and cant drink/go out, that the husband partner must not eithergrin

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 16-Dec-13 21:42:19

What IS Elf on a Shelf?!

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 21:43:30

Oh, what about the poster incandescent with rage where her ds was excluded from school Christmas nativity, who then went on to say on page 4 she's told the school to not involve him in any religious activity.....

Oh yes wasn't that the "fumming" one? grin

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 16-Dec-13 21:43:48

I wish people would stop sneering about people who mention SN.

People mention it because in their actual lives they get grief from people because their child is behaving perhaps in a bratty manner to the casual onlooker but it's because they have SN and are stressed.

It matters to people.

Yet people in the enormously privileged position of having NT kids feel they can sneer at those who mention SN and treat it like an enormous laugh.


notquitenormal Mon 16-Dec-13 21:52:25

I am genuinely shocked by people who scorn baked beans because they are 'junk food.' I mean really? really?

Sure if you don't actually like them...but beans are a staple. It's rocket fuel for five-year-olds, surely? As is custard and fish fingers.

Whistleblower0 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:54:23

The posters who insist that their child is being indoctrinated because they sang a hymn or said a prayer at a school assembly, and they are atheists, and so shouldn't have this evil foisted upon themgrin

2Tinsellytocare Mon 16-Dec-13 22:02:45

People who say they are traumatised by being put on the naughty step as a child, MN is the only place I've ever heard of this.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 22:17:04

and she wasn't the kid's mother, just a "woman who happens to live in DH's house"

This is typical! I want to shout, 'no she isn't, she is a woman who is going to have a relationship with the child for life, she will be at his wedding, she will be step grandmother, her parents, aunts, siblings, dog and all will have important relationships with the child'-if she and the child get on well together-which they most probably will. It is her house, her rules and she will often be in the house without the DH!

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 22:19:31

Love this thread. At last all the normal people together

grin. (sometimes you wonder where they have gone!)

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 22:21:41

I agree with all yours Whistleblower!

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 22:25:06

People who never make the link between their 2/3 yr old drinking three pints of milk a day and the fact that they forever have the shits and never eat their dinner.


fatlazymummy Mon 16-Dec-13 22:42:48

People who think sandwiches are 'sad' and somehow unsuitable for lunch or tea.
I eat sandwiches every day, so do other people that I know.

desertmum Mon 16-Dec-13 22:48:53

people who whisk their kids to the doctor at the first sniff . . . .

lessonsintightropes Mon 16-Dec-13 23:23:45

We asked for specific honeymoon things as our gift list (but didn't include the list in the invites)... wear shoes in the house and wouldn't ask someone to take them off; routinely drink a bit on some weeknights; don't give a toss about BF/FFing; and I can make a chicken last for three meals (roast, curry then soup). I think Mooncups sound hideous!

I am not sure whether this makes me a normal person or a MN typical thinker fgrin

Mushypeasandchipstogo Mon 16-Dec-13 23:34:37

Yes never ever heard of anybody in RL using moon cups and everybody I know with a bastard mirena loves it!

lade Tue 17-Dec-13 01:10:50

I love the Christmas topic, but I do get amused by some of the threads on there.

Elf on a shelf. I have never seen one of those bloody things - what the hell are they !?!

Competitive underspending, I know it has been raised lots of times, but well it is just so common to spend loads of Christmas, and of course everyone who does are automatically getting themselves into loads of debt, and are terribly irresponsible. I am quite sure the "spenders" have never heard of saving.blush

I always wonder why people get worked up about how many presents other people's children are going to get at Christmas. Does it really matter? They're never going to meet your children. Some children will get more presents than yours and others less....

Those who maintain that Christmas trees have to look awful colourful or they just aren't Christmassy. Like, without tinsel it will just be soulless / department store etc. what utter bollocks. There is nothing more festive in the eclectic mix of colours than having a more limited range, except in the mind of those who think it! Just because some people think it, doesn't make it true. (The argument works the other way too, of course)

People who give a flying fuck what anyone else's tree looks like. When did we get the Christmas tree police, who started insisting that Christmas trees have to be colourful / tasteful / tacky etc..? I have never heard anyone in real life arguing over how a tree should look. Who actually cares, and if you do care about what other people do with their trees / decorations, perhaps (in the best possible way) you need to get a life. We all have individual tastes, of what we think looks nice - that's what makes the world go round. There is no one way of doing it.

That said, the topic is great for sharing ideas, I'd be lost without it grin

Leavenheath Tue 17-Dec-13 01:51:49

I've seen loads of things mentioned here in RL. And when I come across something I haven't, if enough posters are saying or experiencing the same things, I'm more likely to think it happens in RL too but people don't talk about it.

For example, it's unlikely a male work colleague will fess up to being a lazy arse whose wife needs to write instructions for him to wipe his own arse, or that he's a porn hound who's so addicted he can't get it up anymore with said exhausted and pissed-off wife, but there are enough men like that described on this site to convince me they certainly aren't imaginary.

If only.

Furthermore, I genuinely haven't met any stepford wives who call their partners 'hubby', think that women should do all the housework/ parenting, that horrendous male behaviour is just 'boys being boys' and that any woman who objects to her partner going to a sex club on a night out is ^controlling, paranoid or jealous^- but they are in our midst and represented in huge numbers here.

This is the real snapshot of life I think. In RL it gets edited.

GoshAnneGorilla Tue 17-Dec-13 04:25:37

Someone on here once claimed that she had friends who were from the aristocracy and they thought the Royal Family were a bit common. Only on Mumsnet.

BohemianGirl Tue 17-Dec-13 04:50:22

People with children who drink gallons of milk a day and think that's a good thing.

We clear at least 60 pints a week between 5 of us ....this is bad?

There are loads more that wind me up but I'd be banned for going against the mainstream and being very very non-PC

BohemianGirl Tue 17-Dec-13 04:51:32

Someone on here once claimed that she had friends who were from the aristocracy and they thought the Royal Family were a bit common

Princess Michael?

learnasyougo Tue 17-Dec-13 06:41:54

wow, I fit many of these never in RL things. mooncup using, no tumble dryer (never had one) non driving etc. I'm not weird really. I assume many other people live like I do.
And that's the thing. our social circles are more restricted than mn is. Where else do you see the range of income to be 12k to 200k? People DO make a chicken last more than a meal (because they have to. We get 4 dinners and 2 soup portions out of one) people DO have fears about what to buy in Lidl (seeing the band wagon but being a bit scared about jumping on). I don't know anyone in RL who employs a nanny, but I don't then conclude that's not RL. For some people, it's a perfectly normal thing to do. Not in my circles, but still normal.

but what IS elf on a shelf??

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 06:51:02

I had to ask about an elf on a shelf, apparently it is a little doll that arrives in Dec 1st and moves around the house doing things to amuse the children- that was the explanation I was given.
I remember the aristocracy one, every so often she gathered herself up and hinted that she was rather grand in the past. I remember her saying 'think Mitfords'.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 06:58:47

I looked it up, she said they could give the Mitfords a run for their money and she came from a family who thought the Royal family were a bit MIF, it was lost on me, not having worked out what MIF was.
The same person said that she refused to say toilet or serviette.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 07:02:00

I also had to have the 'Christmas Eve' hamper explained to me.
In RL I have never had anyone care two hoots about someone else's Christmas traditions, whereas on MN it is almost 'pistols at dawn'!

Ragwort Tue 17-Dec-13 07:08:05

What about the absolute hysteria if people have more than one glass of wine (even more shocking if they are pregnant) - most people I know in RL drink moderately - it's not a crime, it's a pleasant thing to do. People getting obsessed about what will happen to their unborn child if they have half a glass of champagne; how will they get the children to hospital in the unlikely event of an accident hmm.

I am not referring to alcoholism, just the views towards 'social drinking' that you see on Mumsnet grin.

Crowler Tue 17-Dec-13 07:13:34

I remember the thread about the Royal Family being common, I think it was more specifically that none of the extremely smart/posh families would want their daughters paired off with Prince Harry because he's common?

BohemianGirl Tue 17-Dec-13 07:14:25

Who are all these non drinkers ? According to the press, all the 'mummies' are necking wine every night by the bucket load grin. I have no idea what the 'daddies' are doing, under curfew and waving the bog brush round whilst wearing marigolds I presume

greenfolder Tue 17-Dec-13 07:18:32

I had never heard of an elf on a shelf until last year.this year someone is posting a daily photo of theirs on face book.

fatlazymummy Tue 17-Dec-13 07:39:34

People that are religious / go to church. I don't know any in real life but it seems quite common on mumsnet.
Concerning kids drinking milk - I've never heard of that being associated with childhood obesity. It's one of the things I was brought up on.

lisianthus Tue 17-Dec-13 08:13:53

Grownups who drink until they vomit/pass out/lose control of bodily functions. I don't know anyone who does this in real life, but I've come across a few threads on MN where the husband does this and the wife is accused of being unreasonable if she objects.

Women who take over all correspondence with their parents in law such as cards, present buying etc, because it is too much of a drag for their DP to spend a couple of minutes buying and writing a card for his mum. Maybe I know a lot of men with really good relationships with their families, but DH, for instance, really enjoys trying to think of a Christmas present each of his parents will like.

lisianthus Tue 17-Dec-13 08:15:01

And if he didn't, tbh, I wouldn't want to encourage him to neglect his folks by taking it on myself.

Whistleblower0 Tue 17-Dec-13 08:29:21

What about the absoloute hysteria if people have more than one glass of wine

This! Posters competing with each other on who drinks the least. Most people i know irl drink moderately, and actually enjoy it. There's a thingshock

Icelollycraving Tue 17-Dec-13 08:36:17

The competitive weddings that cost 2p and were the best day anyone had ever had. Spending what you can afford or have saved for their wedding is their choice,it's their sodding day!!

autumnsmum Tue 17-Dec-13 08:44:03

People who can quote verbatim every UNICEF recommendation about ff

shineypeacock Tue 17-Dec-13 08:53:17


thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 08:53:59

^^ yes to these although I did buy cards for dhs parents when alive. sod the siblings though.

whistleblower how about the half a glass while pregnant or bf. the damage to the unborn child, the trauma to the poor mite at your breast.

still don't know a RL person who has heard of or uses a moon cup. still don't understand how you use one either
and it's been explained to me.

I always want to park in the mother and child spaces now just to piss other parents off. grin

Ragwort Tue 17-Dec-13 08:56:00

People that are religious / go to church. I don't know any in real life but it seems quite common on mumsnet.

Really hmm - I never come across all the faith-bashers that seem to be on every thread on Mumsnet grin.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 08:57:46

I have never seen a mooncup.

shineypeacock Tue 17-Dec-13 08:58:53

Birth plans and sneeze births!
No sweeps, no inductions, no forceps but cut me open for a section, thats fine!!
And no drugs/epidural etc! Must be a water birth, no one must know imin labour etc! No visitors for at least 2 weeks and definatly not MIL!
My birth plan was me and baby all ok by the end of it! And do you know what thats what i got!!

desertmum Tue 17-Dec-13 09:00:50

I have to admit to the bog brush thing, don't have them mainly because the bloody dogs gets hold of them and chew the nasty end and then if I'm really lucky leave it on my pillow - yuk yuk and yuk. Oh yes and I have dogs who sleep on my bed, and my sons dog sleeps on his bed and we are all fit and healthy without an allergy in sight. A bit of dirt never hurt anyone and children need to play outside and get dirty and put yukky things in their mouths (but not the bog brush !) in order to build up some immunity - otherwise they constantly get sick when they start nursery or school. My son flew alone to Tasmania when he was 15 with an overnight stop in Melbourne - he was fine, but OMG did I get some stick for that one. I was THE WORST parent in the world - but you know what ? I don't care - he was fine. People need to loosen up a little, life isn't a competition, not everyone agrees with me (they are, quite obviously, wrong haha) but hey ho, who cares ?

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 09:03:33

shiny come on though. your mil was hiding up the corner, saw the birth and stole the baby to show all of dhs relatives who were camped outside the door.

pictures posted on fb and that's how your dying grandmother found out about the birth.

shineypeacock Tue 17-Dec-13 09:05:15

Also you must spend the least amount of money on baby stuff, no pram, and definatly not a bugaboo! No outfits, baby must wear a babygrow until at least 6!! And you must breast feed! Makes me laugh when i read all you need for a new born is some vests, some babygrows, a cardigan a sling and a boob!
Ive got a pram and yes its a bugaboo, and i flippin love it! A crib, i FF, and a wardrobe full of outfits for my baby. And guess what im still a mum!

shineypeacock Tue 17-Dec-13 09:09:56

Afraid not, my PIL are fab! And wouldn't have dreamed of doing anything like that! Baby was delivered, 12.15, phone calls made about 2pm, my parents arrived at 4pm and stayed about 30 mins, PIL arrived at 5pm and did the same, no hassle, no problems. We wanted to show our baby off!!

CoffeeTea103 Tue 17-Dec-13 09:15:19

People who bleat on about cheap weddings being the best. Even better are registry ones. If you have an expensive one then you're a snob.

Also the bf/ff debate. Almost every person I know has ff, not a single person I know even bats an eyelid at ff. only on mn it's a cardinal sin to ff.

The 'your' family, 'my' family advice given to posters on how to treat their partners family. Everyone i know treats each other's family as if they would their own. It's not wonder this separation of families causes so many issues for people.

ShatterResistant Tue 17-Dec-13 09:16:37

I haven't read the full thread, but can we just go back to page 7 for a moment of appreciation for friday16's very funny joke? Quick and clever- you really made me laugh.

"And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question."

Well, that's the achilles heel of politics, isn't it?

TinyTear Tue 17-Dec-13 09:23:06

never heard anyone in real life going on about 'privilege' and NT kids

although i don't have a tumble dryer in my flat... I dry things on the balcony...

DadOnIce Tue 17-Dec-13 09:26:02

Elf on the shelf?? Christmas Eve hampers?? Christmas Eve "jammies" (god, I hate that abbreviation, possibly even more than "hubby")??? I have heard of none of these things!

Agree with poster who said there are more religious people here than In Real Life. Perhaps they are just more vocal.

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 09:30:28

shiney my inlaws were fab too. all of my dcs had a Moses basket on a stand by my bed, and lovely shiny prams and tons of clothes including frilly dresses and pants ( the girls)

slings would spoil my look and ruin my back. grin

funnily enough I never 'wore' my baby.

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 09:32:00

I tumble dry everything as I refuse to do my mothers ' oh my god it's raining, get the washing in quick' so I have no clothes line and no pegs. so bloody there.

limitedperiodonly Tue 17-Dec-13 10:00:00

I don't have a tumble dryer or a dish washer.

I dry things on the radiators or sometimes on racks with no heating on. I know this is apparently a recipe for damp, but it hasn't happened to me.

Perhaps I'm a minger who doesn't wash things often enough to create significant condensation. That's another MNism.

Maybe the tines of my forks are silted with crap like tartared teeth too. I remember an advert for dishwasher tablets that showed a microscope close up of such a utensil. It horrified my friend. She is mad.

She's so obsessed by the evil micro-organisms poised to kill us that she washes non-dishwasher safe items in the dishwasher.

So the wooden handles on her saucepans split - which surely invited germs into the cracks? Eventually they disintegrated leaving metal spikes sticking out which seemed just as much a hazard as germs.

fatlazymummy Tue 17-Dec-13 10:08:08

Having to be grateful for any gift no matter how shit. Yes, it takes so much thought to give someone a tea towel,a packet of stale biscuits or a set of 2nd hand dentures.

autumnsmum Tue 17-Dec-13 10:10:52

I never used a sling for babies 2&3 as they were massive I am obviously an inadequate parent

DreamingofSummer Tue 17-Dec-13 10:27:16
tenminutestory Tue 17-Dec-13 10:29:22

Calling children vile
Calling anyone#s slightly behaviour bonkers. Considering the fuss made over people who insult people with special needs or mental health problems, to diagnose a stranger with a mental illness based upon the possibly untrue story of another stranger is mn hypocrisy at its best.

Being professionally offended about anything and everything all the time
Having to have CBT if you are even slightly unhappy about anything at all
Diagnosing an abusive relationship (they always are red flags or abusive)

CalamitouslyWrong Tue 17-Dec-13 10:37:55

Limited: why didn't she just buy dishwasher safe pots, if she needed to wash the in one? confused

I whack everything in the dishwasher. If it doesn't survive, it just wasn't meant to be in my kitchen. I hate washing up.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Tue 17-Dec-13 10:47:34


MylesKennedysVocalCords Tue 17-Dec-13 10:47:34


mumofboyo Tue 17-Dec-13 10:49:49

Every time someone complains about their unputdownable baby there's an army of people who respond suggesting they should use a sling. Now, I'm not dissing the sling - far from it - because for many people I'm sure it's a godsend but I keep thinking, this person wants to put their baby down and have ten mins to have a cuppa and a piss in peace: how does a sling help with that? I've never seen anyone use a sling/wrap.

People who seem to be unable to go against the guidelines for feeding/weaning as though they're rules rather than suggestions; I've read posts where people are afraid to offer their 23 week old baby solid food even though they're showing a definite interest in it simply because the guidelines state 26 weeks is the ideal. I feel like screaming, "It's your baby, you know your baby better than anyone else, why not trust your own judgment???" Everyone I know weaned their children from 4-5 months using spoons and pureed food without a problem, including me (dd was 16 weeks; dd was 25 weeks). With both dc it took 2 weeks to get from an all milk diet to 4 meals + puddings and 2 bottles (yes, I ff my children), yet on here the weaning process seems to go on for months. Yes, I'm secretly judging when I read it. Yes, I'm probably doing it wrong in many people's eyes hmm.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Tue 17-Dec-13 10:50:49

Arrrgh phone went mad! What I meant to say is, I never wore a sling, wouldn't have dreamt of wearing one- I like to show my outfit off! shoot me now!

babygrows were nightwear for mine.

CalamitouslyWrong Tue 17-Dec-13 10:57:53

The sling thing is suggested because it means you get your arms free, so you get to have the bloody cup of tea at all. its a pragmatic suggestion for when what you actually want isn't a possibility.

mumofboyo Tue 17-Dec-13 10:58:52

I don't have a dishwasher or tumble dryer (we have no space for either). Instead I wash the pots in the sink and dry my clothes on the washing line and/or radiators and airer. I did recently buy a spin dryer after reading a recommendation on here though.

I do have a mooncup; I bought it before I started reading mn and I loved it. But then I had a vbac with dd and now have a bucket fanny prolapse and it doesn't feel 'right' any more so I just use sanitary towels again.

I don't know of anyone with nightmare in-laws; we all just seem to get on. I even socialise with my dsis' in-laws and have them as friends on fb.

OpalTourmaline Tue 17-Dec-13 10:59:41

Limited Don't you know that if you dry things on an airer indoors instead of a tumbler you are condemning your family to terrible diseases. In MN world you are anyway. wink

CalamitouslyWrong Tue 17-Dec-13 11:04:15

I'm always confused about how anyone can be certain they don't know any mooncup users. I have no idea what kind of sanitary protection my friends, colleagues and acquaintances use because it really isn't something that comes up in conversation.

PrincessScrumpy Tue 17-Dec-13 11:04:40

Surprised about the sling thing - everyone I know uses them but we live in the country so pushchairs aren't the easiest things to get over kissing gates, plus with twins I could pick them both up - one in sling and one in my arms. People I know with slings also have pushchairs - it's not an either or thing just practical.

The rest I generally agree with, although I did have random people come up and say stupid things when I had twins - seems to attract them.

Just shown dh a moon cup - his face was a picture. smile

autumnsmum Tue 17-Dec-13 11:07:59

Ah mum of another one here who weaned with spoons and purées dd1 is 14 and when she was a baby there was an advert for petit filous with a baby being fed in a bouncy chair quelle horreur

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 11:08:24

mumofboyo yes yes to slings and weaning.

babies do actually need to learn to be out down and I still know no one who waited 6 months to give a healthy baby solid food. not saying there arnt just that I have never met one.

woollytights Tue 17-Dec-13 11:08:29

Getting the least amount of things possible for a new baby. One pack of plain white sleepsuits, one pack of plain white vests. Preferably from a charity shop. Literally nothing else because it's all shit and a waste of money.

Entire families who only wash once or twice per week in plain warm water otherwise they'd all break out in thrush/rashes/leprosy. Of course, DH used to use soap and shower every day but the poster soon put right that indulgence. Going NC with MIL helped too! And of course, none of them smell hmm.

The summer fashion threads. The only acceptable thing to wear in summer is apparently loose cream linen shorts or trousers and a loose long sleeved white cotton shirt. Anyone daring to have any element of their personal style incorporated into their outfit looks idiotic, compared to MNers who've just stepped off the front of a Kuoni brochure.

Perfect diets. Cold meats, cheeses and crudites for dinner. A lunchbox consisting of a couple of bits of pepper, a babybel and a cracker, with people still suggesting taking the babybel out. I'd be starving. Only tap water to drink, ever.

Little boys in tutus. It's always a tutu as well, even better if it's Hello Kitty. I never even see girls in them.

Scented sanitary towels being an enormous scandal. Especially when they smell like "air freshener". Does air freshener not smell nice?!

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 11:11:32

calamatiously I asked all my friends, family and work colleagues. I know that's wierd but just had to know. no one without exception had heard of a moon cup.

autumnsmum Tue 17-Dec-13 11:18:21

Absolute hysteria calling for campaigns about babies and toddlers with pierced ears

TinyTear Tue 17-Dec-13 11:32:08

Er, I waited till 6 months to give solids... welll 5 months 3 weeks... and I am real

desertmum Tue 17-Dec-13 11:43:39

well my son did wear a tutu (I would post a photo but would get slated in case there were peadophiles watching MN) - it was pink and his sisters (she did ballet). Not a big problem to me - he also had his toe nails painted one day - again not an issue for me. He is what he is and all is good because he is 'in touch with his feminine side' - I wonder if he's heard of mooncups. lolol

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 11:43:43

tiny no your on mumsnet not RL so obviously you arnt real at all. grin

TinyTear Tue 17-Dec-13 11:54:15


I'm a ghost!

happygirl87 Tue 17-Dec-13 11:58:30

Great thread, agree with most of these(esp wedding lists!), but can't believe no one here has problem in-laws?! Not toxic, narcissistic etc etc in laws, but just annoying ones, who are a bit interefering and occasionally do something that makes you feel not quite good enoguh for their pfb? I do, as do many of my friends (esp one in particular who has had to move in with her PILs for 18 months fshock)

2Tinsellytocare Tue 17-Dec-13 11:59:15

Toddlers being described as vicious thugs

Spaulding Tue 17-Dec-13 12:31:17

I don't have a tumble dryer. I didn't even realise that was a "thing" on MN. I have no room for one.

Another MN thing is the disbelief at any mother who, God forbid, wants to go out and drink with her friends once in a blue moon. I go on a night out once every four months, drink cocktails, dance like a lunatic, and come home at 3am with chips from the kebab shop. This doesn't make me a bad mother. DS will either be at my parents or DP is more than happy to get up with him in the morning and is just happy I had a good night with my friends.

Also don't understand the almost "LTB" comments on here if a DH or DP has the audacity to go on a rare night out with his friends. As if we're all confined to our homes and not be ourselves once we have children. We must never go out and have fun for a night.

I hadn't heard of Elf on a Shelf until MN. And the whole thing creeps me out. love the idea of Christmas Eve hampers though

ephemeralfairy Tue 17-Dec-13 12:54:50

The toilet brush horror!

ephemeralfairy Tue 17-Dec-13 12:55:46

i don't understand how the fuck you clean a toilet without using a toilet brush.

iliketea Tue 17-Dec-13 13:00:45

I've know the bf/ff thing in real life. I ff from birth and a mother at a baby group I went to (only once!) told me that she thought I was selfish giving my then 8week old dd bottles of formula, and asked I had not known how important it was to breast feed shockshock. I never brought up the subject of feeding, she did while we were chatting about normal trivial nonsense (as you do when you are trying to make new friends as a new mum).

I left and never went back to that group; in fact I should have told her to fuck off and mind her own damn business.

dustarr73 Tue 17-Dec-13 13:28:55

Heres another one i thought of.Im going on holiday with my 14 year old,will i need a buggy.Seriously where i am most kids are out of prams at 3 or 4.It looks weird if you see a big child of about 7 in a pram.[sn aside]

limitedperiodonly Tue 17-Dec-13 13:33:29

i don't understand how the fuck you clean a toilet without using a toilet brush

Any shit above the waterline gets wiped off immediately with a wodge of toilet paper.

Anything below the waterline may stay because it usually dislodges. If not, rubber gloves and a firm scrub with a wodge of cotton wool that gets thrown in a bin.

Cleaning limescale or general stains is a weekly or so job for rubber gloves and a scrubbing brush which then gets bleached. If I haven't got gloves I'll make do with a brush, a bare hand and a good wash with hot soapy water.

I don't mind limescale but I really can't be doing with keeping a brush with shit-caked bristles.

limitedperiodonly Tue 17-Dec-13 13:35:25

Oh, I don't leave submerged shit for other people to see, but if I'm going to be on my own for a while I might just see whether it'll go without me having to scrub it.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 13:54:19

I am with you on the birth plans,shineypeacock. I had never had a baby before, how could I have a plan,let alone one that goes into minute detail?!
I went with the flow and had 3 lovely, natural births, without a plan of any description.

monicalewinski Tue 17-Dec-13 14:25:45

I'm with woolytights, everything she said. Also,

I weaned with puree at under 4 months, all day bottles stopped at 6 months, all bottles gone by 1st b'day.

I stopped sterilising everything at 6 months.

I didn't 'wear' I had a lovely pram and then a buggy.

I didn't co-sleep, they were in their own rooms at 6 months.

I let them go out to play with the other kids in the cul-de-sac on their own from about 3 or 4.

I dry stuff on the radiator or in the tumble dryer - I never ever hang washing out on the line.

I didn't babyproof anything in my house (apart from a lock on the cupboard with the bleach etc in).

I go out and get drunk when I want to, as does my husband.

I am so glad I didn't have internet when my kids were babies, I would have had a nervous breakdown!

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Tue 17-Dec-13 14:56:11

Only on MN are you apparently not allowed to be friends with a man. Especially if you work with him. It is perfectly reasonable for said man's wife, or your own partner to be suspicious of anything beyond cold civility with another man. and vice versa.

being under 25 makes you obviously irresponsible, naive and a flibbertigibit if you don't have children (that we know of), but the complete opposite if you do. (Not to put down young mums at all - more that the childless are not all idiots!)

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 15:01:20

monicalewinski fantastic post and so sgree. grin

Golddigger Tue 17-Dec-13 15:26:55

It has been established on another thread last week that there are a group of mooncup wearing, child sling wearing, bf peer supporting, receive poems for money for wedding present, have other people's cat poo in their garden problem, no toilet brush, no shoes on in house people on mumsnet.
No one has ever seen them in rl. They exist purely on mumsnet!

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 17-Dec-13 15:41:01

Do you think David Attenborough would do a documentary on said rare species? grin

Lazyjaney Tue 17-Dec-13 15:51:05

Am loving this thread, I feel the group wisdom - will take strength when next on a thread with a bunch of people busy losing their heads!

monicalewinski Tue 17-Dec-13 16:04:08

Just thought of another:

"Should I have a Christmas tree? DC is crawling/toddling - if I do, how will I protect DC?"

I thought this was only on MN until I saw my friend's picture on fb of her tree.

Not only is her tree in a playpen in the corner, everything in the background is covered up - fireguard round her tv stand as well.

I am getting quite unnerved because it clearly isn't 'just on MN', it is sneaking closer and closer into my actual life.

I am afraid. confused

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 16:10:25

hope your friends child is very careful in the garden.

evil cats specifically target houses with toddlers so they can blind them with cat shit. well known fact on mumsnet.

she may need to cat proof her garden

MummyPigsFatTummy Tue 17-Dec-13 16:13:27

Ha ha Monica - loving the idea of a fireguard around your TV - how terrifying!

I do remember visiting a friend of my parents when one of her children was crawling still and my Mum saying they were chatting on the sofa while the little one crawled about the room (we older ones were off playing). All of a sudden my Mum noticed the frankly enormous Christmas tree in the corner start to wobble and sure enough the baby/toddler had managed somehow to overbalance it. My Mum and her friend got up just in time before it crashed down onto the sofa and had to go hunting for the child under the branches. He was fine thank goodness , but my Mum was quite shaken up (don't know about the child's Mum - she was made of quite strong stuff IIRC).

So I do sort of get the Christmas tree fear thing.

I don't have a tumble dryer either.

3asAbird Tue 17-Dec-13 16:14:29

This thread is comedy gold.

ok observations around mumsnet.

predominatly london south east.

as dont kow anyone whos au pair eats too much or even has an au pair.

Or looks round several pretigious private schools and never realised there was a 4+.

The other regions there must be few of us.

See lots posts on aibu around being outraged/fuming never tamping so maybe not many welsh mumsnetters.

I do wonder if mm making me more socialist although still wont vote labour, I cant stand the guardian and I dont think gove is the devil incarnate like my dd1teacher does.

I have a dryer no room for dishwasher
I own more than 1 buggy
i breastfed and sometimes carried them nut never said i wore my baby.
I never used or know anyone else whos used moon cup.
Heard about elf on shelf from fb freinds who met on another mummy forum.
I use the word hubby but try not too so much as apparently its very netmums, im not a stepford wife im crap at housework. I totally hate it too ad over top santa visits in nov, tree up in nov s, smug itemised lists that their xmas shopping nearly done.

Im a sahm not through choice as childcare for 2under 5s too expensive.
I never been grammer school or no anyone under my mams age who has.

Im not driver learning painfully, I do get pedestrian rage over cars not stopping at zebra crossings , speeding, parking too close to junctions and being selfish even the parents and has nyone mentioned word that can start a thread going mad is 4 by 4s and tossers who drive them!

I think theres more threads from motorists and parking threads than pedestrians.

People in rl treat me like im odd lesser person as dont drive.

schools pick local op as convieniance is everything better a shite school than no school.

Angst about school plays and book bands-I totally understand.

I think parents just not as honest in rl and pretend they not interested its above them they dont understand had mate like that what do nc levels mean again as mines got a 3 in year 2!
She also used to look in freinds book bags see what level other kids on and another mum used to voluntree to help so she knew reading levels other kids in class were on.

No one used pfb in real life.
Love the word goady mother fucker.
The word entitled comes up a lot
i love it when get you dont sound like a very nice person op reminds me being 5 again.
Political correctness and the skirting round of the word chav used to be known as townie when i was growing up on mumsnet its always deprived or working class.

The word precios reminds me golum.

Mumsnet seems more fixated with class than in rl

I do like drink and go out with mates every few months.

aldis is the new waitrose these days,

Most i can get out of a chicken is 3meals and thats pushing it.

I did a stint on ptfa and preschool commmitee so seen the politics behind the scenes.

At old school saw cliqeyness and bithy behaviour at school gate no fights though.

Im frequently late get places even if ready night before, leave house on time as toddler trows tantrum have to peel him of pavement selfish parents not letting me cross rd.

bluecheeseforbreakfast Tue 17-Dec-13 16:15:34

I have never met anyone snooty or cliquey (sp?) at a baby/toddler group.

I have never met anyone irl who gets het up about spelling and grammar, actually I have, my ex-sil prides herself on her immaculate spelling and grammar skills, unfortunately it is her only redeeming feature. I should rephrase that as I have no friends irl who get upset about spelling and grammar.

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking Tue 17-Dec-13 16:24:44

People restricting TV. On here all kids watch 5 seconds of countdown the last Friday of every month.

I have got pissed til I have thrown up but only drink rarely. That is frowned upon but drinking every night is not.

The whole colour of toys thing. Some girls like pink and some boys like blue. So what?! No one I know in RL gives a shit and is capable of finding things in shops even if it is in girl/boy sections

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking Tue 17-Dec-13 16:26:47

Oh and Elf On The Shelf.

What kind of creepy shite is that?! Never heard of it and I'm grateful

DontmindifIdo Tue 17-Dec-13 16:30:02

monicalewinski - I have friends in RL who put the tree in the baby cage play pen, but it's to protect the tree from the toddler, not to protect the toddler from the tree. (Wish I'd done it, DS seems determined to strip all the decorations from ours )

bluecheeseforbreakfast Tue 17-Dec-13 16:32:20

Don't people just tell their children not to touch the tree? My 12 month old knows not to touch the tree, he walks up to it, says Woooow! and then shakes his finger like we do when we tell him not too touch.

DontmindifIdo Tue 17-Dec-13 16:34:32

Oh, DS knows he's not supposed to take the decorations off the tree, so he waits until I'm in the other room. There were 3 decorations hidden inside his rescue helicopter this morning.

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 16:37:45

we had a Christmas tree hook that dh used every year to rope the tree or else the dss pulled it down. it was their favourite past time.

the dds never needed the hook. but they also preferred the pink isle at TRUs so to be honest we probably gender brainwashed them anyway. grin

iliketea Tue 17-Dec-13 16:47:58

The Christmas tree in the playpen is a great idea - protecting the tree and the presents from toddler and cat. I did it while we still had a playpen. Stopped dd eating all the chocolate when my back was turned and stopped the cats using the baubles as cat-toys.

monicalewinski Tue 17-Dec-13 17:09:18

DontmindifIdo, grin at the rescue helicopter.

It's the cat that's been the little shit with our tree - the kids never messed with it. We got the little madam last year and she spent most of Christmas being sprayed with water, this year is going the same way. I may buy a baby cage! I'm totally not, it would mess with the tastefully festive elegance vibe I have going on

NotYoMomma Tue 17-Dec-13 17:11:31

seems monicalewinski is actually me

bluecheeseforbreakfast Tue 17-Dec-13 17:12:11

Iliketea your son is very wise! I don't think my ds is at the developmental stage of being sneeky yet!

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 17-Dec-13 17:17:39

I think MonicaLewinski is the worst Mum in the world. Ever. I have reported her to Social Services grin

<has done near enough everything MonicaLewinski has done as a parent, but shhhhhhhh!>

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 17-Dec-13 17:19:06

Wrt to Christmas trees:

1) DD pulled the tree down on herself about 5 bloody minutes after we'd finished it when she was 2

2) our cat enjoys climbing into the tree and going to sleep in it!

Sarah2506 Tue 17-Dec-13 17:35:10

The first thing DD ate was pizza. Grabbed it off me, shoved in, swallowed. She was just shy of six months. I love the reaction I get when I tell people this in RL.

Whilst I don't judge people who FF or wean early I can truly say I couldn't be arsed to do either. BF is free, convenient and made me thin. Sod the health benefits! Though I rarely put it quite in those terms. And weaning so far is a pain in the arse, messy, inconvenient etc. Why people enjoy it is beyond me.

On MN everyone is cooking varied interesting meals for their 2.5 month baby. I'm feeding my child rice cakes and pizza and hoping for the best:-)

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 17-Dec-13 17:47:37

<can also tick most on monicas list so sue me >

DeckTheHallsWithBoughsOfHorry Tue 17-Dec-13 17:53:33

hmm bluecheese yes you can tell your child not to touch the tree, and that would have worked for my compliant pfb too.

But then came DS2...

Back2Two Tue 17-Dec-13 18:10:02

I've been on mumsnet for years now.
All this thread proves is that we're all different and do different things and have different opinions.

You may only hear stuff on mumsnet that you don't hear anywhere else because you meet people outside your own typical social group on here. The fact that you dispute it or don't do it doesn't mean it's not "normal"

This thread is a bit weird because it's as if you're trying to prove that what people say on here isn't true or real life somehow.

Not sure I think that's true.

I sort of feel a bit protective towards the mumsnetters you're describing here ..... Each to their own and all that

<<shuffles off to wait to get told to shut up>>

Golddigger Tue 17-Dec-13 18:14:20

Depends on your definition of normal.
If 90% of the population do something, and 10% dont, are the 10% "normal"?
Or does it need to be 5%, or 1%?

Personally I would say 1% isnt normal, and nor is 5%.

Trills Tue 17-Dec-13 18:18:37

Exactly Back2Two - I am really pleased with how much MN has expanded my horizons.

I haven't necessarily changed my opinions on things, but I have been made aware that other opinions exist, and in some cases it's on issues where I had no idea that it even was an issue.

Back2Two Tue 17-Dec-13 18:19:50

Yes that's true.
But there isn't a percentage of the population that do all the things that have been listed on here as "only on MN"

Some people do stuff and don't have a clue about the other 99% of the things ....some do half the things....some have a mate who does it (but that's only on a Friday night wink)

Back2Two Tue 17-Dec-13 18:22:10

That was a response to golddigger

Yes trills .... I know the thread's lighthearted but it does sort of undermine some of what is so brilliant about MN

see the thread I started asking for handbag suggestions around the £800 mark with some money I'd been left by a relative who was a bit of an accessory queen herself, and was told to buy a bench instead, because somehow that would be more morally acceptable, or art work, in fact, spending hte money was fine, so long as I didn't spend it on something that was just for my use, it had only to be spent on something for collective use to be acceptable

I loved that thread. What bag did you get in the end?

Lweji Tue 17-Dec-13 18:43:56

I think some of you lead very sheltered lives.

People hating their ILs - a MN phenomenon

Really? smile

And I don't get drunk, although I very occasionally drink a sniff of booze when DS is asleep or during dinner.

Also:*I only ever meet nice people on public transport.*
Where is that paradise? Or are you blind?

Lweji Tue 17-Dec-13 18:49:06

I have a colleague who uses a mooncup, and she's not even British. She is allergic to most pads, though.

Whistleblower0 Tue 17-Dec-13 18:51:41

What would a sniff of booze be. I'm intriguedconfused

catgirl1976 Tue 17-Dec-13 18:54:24

I sniff at Wedding gift lists

I don't drive

I don't leave DS with a babysitter (tbf he is only 2 so there's time and I have good parental support so don't need to)

I always write thank you letters for adult and child presents

I don't have a loo brush <shudder>

I've started threads about what to buy at Aldi / Lidl

We had a nickname for DS before he was born (now his middle name)

I know lots of SAHMs

I have problem ILs

I always RSVP in writing to invitations

On the other hand I have never used left over chicken to make another meal, I don't wipe my washing line and I have never done a maintenance wash.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 19:16:30

The first thing DD ate was pizza. Grabbed it off me, shoved in, swallowed. She was just shy of six months. I love the reaction I get when I tell people this in RL

Now that is what I call really BLW!

monicalewinski Tue 17-Dec-13 21:00:22

Catgirl1976, you are clearly a slattern if you've never done a maintenance wash!

I only just found out last week via a MN thread that it existed, and did my first ever maintenance wash even though I left home 21 years ago

catgirl1976 Tue 17-Dec-13 21:19:35


I honestly can't get over the fact people clean their washing lines

I barely clean my washing

monicalewinski Tue 17-Dec-13 21:22:00

Aaah! Your washing isn't clean because you do not clean your machine.


catgirl1976 Tue 17-Dec-13 21:27:54

I knew I was doing something wrong

leaving it folded in a pile on the bedroom floor for days after I have washed it then giving it a sniff and brushing off the cat hair not withstanding


jamdonut Tue 17-Dec-13 21:52:05

Just to add my twopenn'orth: I drive, but my Husband doesn't.Not for any other reason than he failed a test at 17 and then never bothered again!!(He's 53 is never likely to happen ,is it?)

And while we're at it, before I came on MN , I had never ,ever, given a thought to not leaving children in the car whilst paying for petrol!!! Cannot get over the fact that people on here actually would rather disturb their strapped-in kids,just for a 5 minute tops trip into the kiosk to pay, which would turn into a much longer faff if you take them out!

squoosh Tue 17-Dec-13 22:01:03

Weirdos who hyperventilate over the idea of visitors wearing shoes in their house and insist that this is what everyone does and everyone they know brings slippers with them when going to house parties. Freaks.

HanneHolm Tue 17-Dec-13 22:04:52

So many people don't drive. Still only know two in real life

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 17-Dec-13 22:17:54

Another one here who doesn't drive!

Have started learning twice - and pregnancy has ended it both times. I should point out (before anyone asks) that no, I didn't get pregnant from my driving instructor grin

I intend to start lessons again after Christmas (or do a weeks intensive course, money permitting) - shouldn't get pregnant this time - am heavily contraceptisised (new word!), having sex with no one and also I think my virginity has grown back, so...

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 22:24:30

I am still bemused by the New Year's Eve party described where everyone was in best party dress and slippers! Never once have I been to a party with slippers!

squoosh Tue 17-Dec-13 22:29:53

Me too Satin, I still snort in disbelief that a party full of people would get tarted up in all their finery and then be more than happy to switch into ugly old slippers once they'd arrived.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 22:32:09

Even taking off shoes in glad rags is odd. My party trousers are too long without shoes, I would trip over them.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 22:34:18

Another thing that I have never seen is a child with all wooden toys. I have never know any without any plastic. I also refuse to call Lego 'plastic tat'!

SinisterBuggyMonth Tue 17-Dec-13 22:51:55


Seriously I had no idea these existed. No one in RL mentions them. I've never seen them sold anywhere.

In fact I'm starting to wonder if it's a mumsnet wind up

HanneHolm Tue 17-Dec-13 22:57:28

People who shop in debenhams. Only on mumsnet.

monicalewinski Tue 17-Dec-13 23:08:22

Mooncups - MN windup. Lol!

I think you're onto something Sinister grin.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 17-Dec-13 23:11:47

Nah, Boots sell Mooncups. And another brand too - yes, there are two of them out there!

They're right on the bottom shelf of all the sanitary stuff. I've seen them for years. Had no idea what they were, only that they cost £20 and my tampons cost about £1, so no brainer for me.

<Bought DD some winter boots in Debenhams sale recently blush but only because it was that or shitty ones from Shoezone that would fall apart in a week>

monicalewinski Tue 17-Dec-13 23:17:35

How long did it take for your virginity to grow back btw Heart? I fancy being pure again - apparently you can sell it on eBay nowadays (v modern)! blush

Good luck with the driving after Xmas too fsmile

MummyPigsFatTummy Tue 17-Dec-13 23:56:40

What is wrong with Debenhams? It's theory department store in our town. I am a regular.

Also, what is a maintenance wash?

(Learning lots on here)

MummyPigsFatTummy Tue 17-Dec-13 23:57:22

Theory? The only. Stupid phone

ArgyMargy Tue 17-Dec-13 23:59:17


monicalewinski Wed 18-Dec-13 00:41:18
Crowler Wed 18-Dec-13 07:13:29

I would be displeased if I had to take my shoes off at a party. I normally wear tights with enormous wooly socks and high heeled boots in the winter so I'd look like a knob.

SatinSandals Wed 18-Dec-13 07:21:55

I shall look for a moon cup today- my education is lacking, never having seen one. (What is wrong with Debenhams?)

friday16 Wed 18-Dec-13 23:31:58

People who think that travelling by train is a major adventure requiring planning on a scale akin to conducting an amphibious landing against a well-defended French coast for (a) teenagers and (b) adults.

ComposHat Thu 19-Dec-13 02:31:12

Getting children into a certain school and being prepared to commit all sorts of fraud to do so and then reacting with something approaching deep mourning when their offspring doesn't get into said school

Pretty much everyone I know just send their kids to the local school and none of them seem any the worse for it.

AlaskaNebraska Thu 19-Dec-13 06:43:57

People worrying about silicone build up.

SatinSandals Thu 19-Dec-13 07:44:54

Added to the train 'adventure' people who think that you can't possibly put a 14 yr old on a train and let them be met at the other end, when there are no changes.

friday16 Thu 19-Dec-13 07:54:36

People whose objection to rail travel is that teenagers get murdered all the time, and you might get murdered on the train.

SatinSandals Thu 19-Dec-13 08:02:45

Or they will be abducted from a crowded train, or get off at the wrong stop, or the person won't meet them, or they will not find the person meeting them, or the train will break down for 3 hours and although they have a mobile phone they won't have the gumption to use it!
There was a huge fuss about a woman who sent her 14 yr old off on a train, with a change of stations in London without a mobile. After pages of doom and gloom she was able to report 'he arrived safe and sound, according to plan and it had done wonders for his self esteem'! The reaction , of course, was that 'she was lucky to get away with it this time'. I expect she was so fed up that she didn't bother to point out he was doing a return journey!

monicalewinski Thu 19-Dec-13 09:11:03

Alaska, what's silicone build up? And why should I be worrying about it?

There's so much I don't know!!

BigChocolateOrange Thu 19-Dec-13 09:43:11

I'm also concerned about silicone build up now.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Thu 19-Dec-13 10:16:44

So, how often are you meant to do a maintenance wash? are you also meant to wash your clothes horse?

DeckTheHallsWithBoughsOfHorry Thu 19-Dec-13 10:18:46

I do a maintenance wash monthly in both dishwasher and washing machine.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Thu 19-Dec-13 10:32:06

if it's the silicone build up I'm thinking of it/s about the products you use in your hair - especially if you have curly hair. I care not though, I love having shiny shiny plastic coated hair. you also can get it if your cosmetics and skin care have loads in them and you don't cleanse properly. though obv I could be completely wrong (it has been known) smile

lljkk Thu 19-Dec-13 17:34:59

People who coast thru school (or any other activity) until adolescence getting very highest marks with minimal effort, which somehow causes them to struggle to ever learn to work hard. Seems to very common among MNers.

I've never known anyone who was consistently tops for anything without lots of obvious hard work.

babybarrister Thu 19-Dec-13 17:52:52

Let me tell you doubters - silicone build up is a real ISHOO for us curly haired laydeez

ProfondoRosso Thu 19-Dec-13 17:58:51

People who coast thru school (or any other activity) until adolescence getting very highest marks with minimal effort, which somehow causes them to struggle to ever learn to work hard. Seems to very common among MNers.

lljkk, I'm afraid to say that describes me and DH. Neither of us studied much for exams, but never got anything less than As. blush DH even got skipped a year. Not to be smug, but I think some children are just like that. I don't think it stays with many people into adulthood, though. It certainly didn't with either of us.

I wish I still found things so easy! It's true that you get knocked for six when you suddenly come across something you can't do.

monicalewinski Thu 19-Dec-13 18:04:13

babybarrister, I read up on it on Style & Beauty earlier (after first learning of its existence today!) and have ordered the bodyshop shampoo that was recommended to counteract my silicone build up.

I have straight hair, but am in fear that it is actually just plastic, so am jumping right on the hair detox bandwagon. It was the maintenance wash bandwagon last week, I love a bandwagon

peanutbutterandbanana Fri 20-Dec-13 00:13:40

Great thread! I've read every post this evening and have done NONE of the clearing up that I need to do before I go to work tomorrow sad

I've worked FT, PT and been a SAHM and now PT again. SAHM was the best I think, although perhaps PT with less hours (I do around 18 hours per week) would be even better as I just don't ever seem to be on top of stuff. But then again I do like having an office Christmas lunch to go to.....

Toilet brushes are DISGUSTING and I use other methods that involve Parazone toilet wipes, harpic anti limescale tablets and lots of squirts of bleach. So we toilet-brush haters are for real!

I have seen lots of helicopter parenting in senior school, with certain mums being unable to stop being involved in organising their child's social life - very tiresome.

Have just googled 'mooncup' - that things looks amazing and a bit 'I don't shave my underarms', but might get one for my teen daughter (as I had my bits whipped out a couple of years ago).

We have class reps at my d's primary school and we've all been asked this week if we want to sign a card to the teacher and put a fiver in the envelope - totally voluntary. So that is RL, not just on MN!

And who, in RL, cooks a 4-course Christmas lunch?

On MN I have sometimes been shocked at the unpleasantness of some posters. I wonder if they are as vocal in RL? I then wonder how kind they are raising their DCs to be.......

ComposHat Fri 20-Dec-13 00:49:15

I'm always amused that people think they will inadvertently give away their real life identities by revealing an utterly nondescript piece of information.

'I work in a shop in London, hope I haven't outed myself there.'

Lweji Fri 20-Dec-13 02:10:26

I've never known anyone who was consistently tops for anything without lots of obvious hard work.


Scarletohello Fri 20-Dec-13 02:33:11
Shenanagins Fri 20-Dec-13 09:00:32

Silicone build up is so last century, I'm onto sulphate free -no idea why though grin

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Fri 20-Dec-13 10:28:00

Shenanagins - sulphate free, silicone free, these are a good beginning. I take it you also go completely natural, using products made only from the tears of joy of Tibetan goats, 'pearl extract' that smells of babies necks? (I love beauty journalism).

(sulphates are used in things like washing up liquid to make them froth for more bubbles, so they put them into shampoo etc because as consumers apparently we want bubbles, but they can affect appearance. Yes, I know too much about this stuff).

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Fri 20-Dec-13 10:30:28

Only on MN have I seen anyone care about what other people choose as middle names for their children. Which does make me giggle.

Shenanagins Fri 20-Dec-13 18:26:57

boyfromthebigbadcity only if some clever marketing person says that the goat tears will give me eternal youth, or something!

BigChocolateOrange Fri 20-Dec-13 18:49:20

Compos that just made me snort. SO true!

This is a hilarious thread. Agree with a lot, only thing I can think to add is that I've never heard the expression 'suck it up' apart from on Mumsnet. And don't know anyone in real life with polished concrete hearths.

woollytights Fri 20-Dec-13 21:20:53

Teaching toddlers to call their genitalia their penis/vagina. Or better yet, vulva.

Someone posts that their parent's will states that they are being left a fiver while their brother gets 600k.

Replies are 'stop being so grabby'
'My parents are dead, just enjoy your parents while they are alive'

BohemianGirl Sat 21-Dec-13 11:21:47

And who, in RL, cooks a 4-course Christmas lunch?

Er me ? blush well if you count trifle, cheese and biscuits as 'cooking' but lunch here is just endless..... we break for an hour or two then go back for the next course!

Crowler Sat 21-Dec-13 13:20:40

Teaching toddlers to call their genitalia their penis/vagina. Or better yet, vulva..

Yes. Guilty of having an 11 year old who calls his "willy" a "pee-pee".

I work in a shop in London, hope I haven't outed myself there.


Chocolatestain Sun 22-Dec-13 08:35:00

The vehemence of the whole BF/FF debate - never encountered that in real life. I actually find it quite distasteful given that we live in a society where all babies (except for very unusual cases of neglect) are adequately fed. If some people have an excess of self-righteous fervour around the whole feeding thing perhaps they could direct it towards fundraising for the millions of babies around the world suffering from malnutrition? Just a thought.

Also the degree to which some people over analyse and micro manage their child's every move. I was brought up in the '70s. People didn't have parenting styles, they just had kids. And it was considered perfectly acceptable to leave your children in the car outside the pub with a bottle of pop and a packet of crisps (although we were allowed into the pub garden to drink shandy grin).

I do use a mooncup though. Tampons always seem to leak on me. Must have a funny-shaped fanjo. Now there's a word I've ever come across on MN!

OpalTourmaline Sun 22-Dec-13 09:47:17

OP: "I'm really struggling at the moment. My husband left me for his secretary, my baby has terrible colic and cries all day. He wakes every 45 minutes throughout the night. I have pnd and I'm just exhausted"

Reply: "Just enjoy your baby. They are this age for such a short time. Savour every moment while you have the chance."

HappyMummyOfOne Sun 22-Dec-13 10:04:57

Loving this thread, thing that always amaze me on MN are

Being scared of a toilet brush
Awful names for children
SAHMs having cleaners rather than just cleaning themselves or believing their husband should do it after work
How easily people are told to leave their husband for trivial things
Hatred of MILs
Outrage should a partner want a night out, hobby etc
The five million buggies for one child
Screen time
Food that dares not be orgnanic or has sugar in it
Calling children NT
SAHMs being told to bill their partner for childcare and housework despite it being just want parents and adults do

And recently Christmas. Am staggered at the number of threads where a child will only have one or two presents as anything else is spoiling them. Even worse, they have to pay half towards the present themselves! Not really a present then.

cloggal Sun 22-Dec-13 10:23:01

chocolate stain

The vehemence of the whole BF/FF debate - never encountered that in real life. I actually find it quite distasteful given that we live in a society where all babies (except for very unusual cases of neglect) are adequately fed. If some people have an excess of self-righteous fervour around the whole feeding thing perhaps they could direct it towards fundraising for the millions of babies around the world suffering from malnutrition? Just a thought.

Oh my goodness. THIS. I said almost exactly this to a friend only a couple of days ago. Ditto traditional weaning/blw, SAHM/WOHM, ad nauseum.

peanutbutterandbanana Sun 22-Dec-13 12:18:15

Bohemian Girl - I'm round to yours then grin

friday16 Sun 22-Dec-13 12:24:10

Suggesting that if someone cooks a stew for Christmas lunch and gets the portion sizes wrong, it may mean that they have mental health issues.

Whistleblower0 Sun 22-Dec-13 14:31:50

I'd forgotten about calling children NT. Only ever heard this on mumsnet.

AmberLeaf Sun 22-Dec-13 14:53:11

Re 'NT'

Be glad you are so unfamiliar with it.

alexbaublistigers Sun 22-Dec-13 15:01:58

Why is it considered odd not being able to drive??

Plenty of people like me have perfectly valid medical reasons for not driving. It's not odd at all.

LaGuardia Sun 22-Dec-13 15:07:15

I am always shock when I hear a woman of my generation has never learned to drive.

boodles Sun 22-Dec-13 15:11:28

What is a NT child? I must have missed the memo.

AmberLeaf Sun 22-Dec-13 15:18:41
ComposHat Sun 22-Dec-13 15:22:13

I am always shock when I hear a woman of my generation has never learned to drive.

I guess you live in a suburban/rural location. I live in a city and people who've lived there all their lives never bothered as everything was walking distance or accesable by public transport Of my social circle of about 15 people (late 20s to mid 30s) I am one of only three who can drive and the only one to own a car.

AmberLeaf Sun 22-Dec-13 15:25:34

I was going to say something like that Compo.

Not having learned to drive when you live in a city is no biggy.

AnyoneforTurps Sun 22-Dec-13 16:40:37

The sheer intensity of annoyance over trivia: cat poo rage, rude GP receptionists (a special shout-out to the poster who likened them to concentration camp guards), being called the wrong name/title or - shudder - Mum (as in "Are you Mum?").

I find these things annoying too, but - if they are the worse thing that happen to you - I want your life. IRL the normal response is to mutter under your breath but, if MN is believed, there are oodles of people who respond with formal complaints and/or massive hissy fits.

AnyoneforTurps Sun 22-Dec-13 17:10:23

Oh yes, and people who expect GP/friends/adult siblings to babysit and then become enraged if don't do everything exactly the same as the parent.

I get keeping babies/toddlers in their sleeping routine and providing info that will save the sanity of the babysitters - telling them that DC won't sleep without Smelly Bear. It's the posts that say My mother walks 10 miles in the rain every day to babysit my DC while I go to yoga but now she's started giving them apple juice when we've only ever allowed them orange. Should I confront her or just cut off all contact with her?

bryte Mon 23-Dec-13 19:13:58

People who have two dishwashers fitted in their kitchen so that they never have to empty it, they use the secondary one as storage. I'm not criticising it, just saying I don't know anyone IRL who does this, has space for this or would ever think of doing it. In the Mumsnet property section, it seems common.

Mammagaga Mon 23-Dec-13 20:03:59

Is this a joke? I regularly experience all of the above...

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