Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

(537 Posts)
HankyScore Mon 16-Dec-13 10:18:01

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:19:00

agree with all

who are these shouty strangers?

Bowlersarm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:19:35

How they are addressed on an envelope. Huge annoyance on MN.

Morloth Mon 16-Dec-13 10:20:28

Magic Chickens.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:21:11

good call morloth

people who dont have heating or tumble dryers who can afford them keep your hair on

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:22:03

ooh ooh
freaks who never ever ever leave their kids with a sitter only because the LOVES THEM SO MUCH


( also the vast nos on here who dont drive - also odd)

wigglesrock Mon 16-Dec-13 10:22:25

The kerfuffle & niceties involved in thank you cards/letters. Thank you cards for wedding & baby presents. Never in my long legged life have I sent or received a thank you card re a child's birthday present.

Joysmum Mon 16-Dec-13 10:22:40

Partners with curfews
The automatic assumption that a mistake means end of relationship
People who never lose their temper
People who never annoy their partners

greenfolder Mon 16-Dec-13 10:25:14

I have been a parent for 19 years.never once have I heard of a class rep or been asked to contribute for a joint gift for a teacher

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 10:25:15

People hating their ILs - a MN phenomenon

'toxic' - parents/siblings - another MN phenomenon (to be fair a I know a couple of people with 'twatty' siblings but toxic? nah!)

'undiagnosed' - PND, SPD, stress, depression, anxiety and so forth - if it isn't diagnosed, dont google and assume you have it.

Bowlersarm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:26:15

Buying a puppy, rather than getting a dog from a rescue.

Ordering your OH not to get drunk and be home by a certain time, if their out, ooh, once in a blue moon.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 10:27:38

People who even know, never mind care, what the colour bands mean in a primary school reading scheme.

Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 10:29:07

All of the above, plus

spelling and punctuation in school newsletters - I mean I just scan for relevant dates then stick the thing up on the fridge until it falls off into the dog's water bowl

"screen time" - mine (and everyone else I know) tend to come home from school, hoover up anything edible, do some homework then sit glued to the Disney Channel/Minecraft until I prise them away for dinner - especially this time of year.

HankyScore Mon 16-Dec-13 10:29:47

Oh god YES to colour bands.

And toxic/NPD stuff. I actually just groan when I see that now.

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 10:30:01

In RL I've never had a comment about breastfeeding, or judgement about whether I stay at home or go to work either.

I've definitely never heard friends speculating about how much money other friends earn or what kind of benefits they may or may not be getting.

That one always seems odd to me I can't imagine a RL conversation where that would be an appropriate subject.

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Mon 16-Dec-13 10:30:19

People who get indignant that p+c parking spaces are an evil supermarket conspiracy between toddlers and big business

PuppyMonkey Mon 16-Dec-13 10:30:44

Being scared of toilet brushes.

SMorgauseBordOfChristmasTat Mon 16-Dec-13 10:32:23

Bloody shelved elf. <shakes head>

CooEeeEldridge Mon 16-Dec-13 10:32:32

If you're in a group at a cafe. You must ALL queue up together, and only when all the group's food is received may you find a table.

AutumnStarOfWonder Mon 16-Dec-13 10:32:54

People incandescent with rage about cats having a shit.

Bowlersarm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:34:36

CooEee fblush

Although I don't think that is an MN thing-I have been very much a lone voice on those threads!

EnianShelZman Mon 16-Dec-13 10:35:27

Hmm, I must be living in a parallel universe because most of the things listed above had happened to me, except the incidents on public transport, maybe because I never use it.

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Dec-13 10:35:31

Agree with everything on this thread.
Never heard of 'toxic' people or nc. People go nc on here as if it's as normal as going to the loo.
Also the amount of micro managing children's activities and play dates is beyond belief.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:36:36

people who bleat on and on about christmas with wanky eleves and santa then complain their kids are overexcited


EnianShelZman Mon 16-Dec-13 10:41:39

I must be weird because we got screen time, care about book bands, got toxic SIL, write and receive thank you letters, hate neighbour's cat because it shits in our garden, discuss money with friends, got a class rep, a puppy, had a fight over a child parking with somebody else, last week gave a class rep 10 pounds for a collection. I must 've a mumsnet stereotype smile

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 10:44:12

People whose sons love pink and wearing princess dresses/tutus etc. Never seen it in RL!

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 10:45:02

If a friend is having a RL rant over coffee with us about a partner and says "Sometimes I could just shake him" we don't all gasp and start giving a lecture about violence grin

DadOnIce Mon 16-Dec-13 10:47:43

Yes, people who "don't know" what the various levels, tables etc. mean in school are usually pretending!

Also never met anyone who made such a judgy fuss about breastfeeding. It's been a few years since DW breastfed ours, but I just don't remember it being a huge issue whether you did or not.

People who divide things into "blue jobs" and "pink jobs". WTAF?

People who make their DHs do the housework after they get in from a 12-hour shift at the desk/coalface/chalkface/lathe.

No women in my family or friendship group have ever (as far as I'm aware) had a random man walk up to them and tell them to "smile!", etc.

The whole "which school should I choose" debate is totally academic for most people we know, who have known for several years which school they are going to send their children too - either because they have no choice, or because they specifically planned to move into a particular catchment.

DHs who are given "permission" to go out and told off like children if they stay out late.

Pretty much everything to do with weddings. Bridezillas, list mania, etc.

Know a few people who don't drive, though. Not unusual.

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 10:48:34

Party bag disapproval. People who ask others about what Christmas traditions they ought to be starting. Talk about micro managing your lifeconfused...Yes to ALL else mentioned.

WigWearer Mon 16-Dec-13 10:49:16

Not working. I don't know any SAHMs. We all fucking have to work

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 10:50:44

Ah I have (re the 'pink boy') he was rather too fond of his sisters Snow white outfit - didn't suit him at all, he was a rather chunky little fella!

I wonder how he turned out.

WigWearer Mon 16-Dec-13 10:51:13

Oh god, yes, the 'school choice' agony.

They go to the local school. This may be a country vs town phenomenon, admittedly.

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 10:51:53

Another MN phenomenon - women who 'have their own business from home' .... childminding/avon/betterware is not a business, it is pin money.

AscoyneDAscoyne Mon 16-Dec-13 10:51:56

People who don't leave their kids in the car at the petrol station lest their car explodes.

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 10:52:38

I'm always amazed at how many self diagsones of 'narc' people seem to be around on mn. Never hear anyone speak of it in rl.

Yellowcake Mon 16-Dec-13 10:53:04

Gosh, I don't drive (though have just started to learn), I will point out to anyone addressing envelopes that I am Dr Myname, not Mrs Husbandsname, I've had several total strangers (including one man who told me he was a recently arrived African asylum seeker) take issue with me for formula feeding my baby, have certainly seen buggy wars on buses in London when we lived there. I have certainly found my tactless, well-meaning MiL very difficult down the years, but she is my husband's mother, so I persevere.

Actually, driving is IMPOSSIBLE. Can I just say how much I admire all of you who can drive? You are made of better stuff than me.

I agree the 'toxic' label is a sort of Mumsnet meme borrowed from self-help books. What bothers me is that I don't think it's necessarily a helpful label - all it means in the context of human relationships is 'I experience Person X as unpleasant', whereas it sounds like an official diagnosis.

CranberrySaucyJack Mon 16-Dec-13 10:53:14

People who would never dream of calling their kids names under their breath/on FB/when talking to friends/yadda yadda.

HankyScore Mon 16-Dec-13 10:53:16

I made over 2k a month from Childminding, it's hardly pin money.....

HankyScore Mon 16-Dec-13 10:53:43

Avon and Betterware etc though, I'd have to agree, I don't know anyone who makes proper money from it.

BigChocolateOrange Mon 16-Dec-13 10:54:27

People who ask what they should by from Aldi/Lidl.

And people who struggle to buy something for themselves if they're given gift vouchers or the like. It's really never a problem for me!

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 10:54:42

ooh and people who can't leave their 15 year old alone in the house for 30 seconds whilst they post a letter, lest they get run over/kidnapped by terrorists/abducted by aliens

DontmindifIdo Mon 16-Dec-13 10:54:59

Christmas eve hampers! I mentioned them in passing to some more organised Mummy friends, none had heard of them, although Christmas jimjams are very much a thing, but the consensus amongst RL friends seems to be you have new jammies because its the only time of the year you're photographed in them.

MN relationship section is an eye opener, I can never quite get over just how much shit some woman will put up with! (but perhaps I know people in RL with equally shit relationships, just they hide it well)

The people who buy 4-5 buggies, surely you buy one when you're pregnant, use that until your DCs walk? Possibly when you go back to work, get a cheap unbrella fold if you need to leave it at a nursery/childminders (as they normally ask for it to fold up small)- or get something to leave at a grandparent's house, but otherwise, who are these people who keep buying buggy after buggy rather than just using the one they've got? The only people I know who've bought replacements are because they had DC2 before DC1 was walking and needed a double, and one friend who managed to break hers.

Yellowcake Mon 16-Dec-13 10:56:19

Oh, my one year old son is currently wearing a pink hula skirt and a witch's hat. Pink, completely unprompted by me, is his favourite colour at the moment. He borrowed a pink Zbarbie car from the toy library last time.

And have certainly had male strangers telling me to smile. Not in the least unusual, unfortunately.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 10:56:53

People who "have" to spend unpleasant Christmases with people they don't like, planned months in advance.

people finding kittens, i would love to find a lost kitten.

LadyInDisguise Mon 16-Dec-13 10:57:12

I might be strange but actually have heard about quite a few of these things in RL.

People who are undiagnosed because getting a diagnosis is an issue.
Toxic parents (my grand parents, esp my grand mother, were certainly toxic).
Comments about bfing (I got both some 'looks' from people passing by and people coming to see me to tell me how wonderful it was!)
Screen time is certainly in place at most of my dcs friends....
I can go on.

Or maybe I am living in a MN holding and I didn't quite realized lol.

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 10:57:50

Tooth fairy angst - its a quid - no debate needed

Santa angst - he's real grin no debate needed

Easter bunny - he shits eggs - thats that one nailed too

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 10:57:54

This elf on the shelf stuff

People who make a fuss over what milk a baby has

People who know the ins and outs of every formula just so they can tell you how crap it it.

People who won't leave children with anyone.

Children over the age of three who can't be left downstairs while mum showers.

People who are so afraid of loo brushes.

People who need to remind themselves dogs exist before leaving house.

People who can make one chicken serve six people a day for a week.

desertmum Mon 16-Dec-13 10:58:00

Love this thread - makes me feel 'relatively' normal (although I have to admit to a couple of them - my son wore a pink tutu for a while - now he just looks gay in johdpurs grin. One time we went out and had a few drinks we got home to a very sick son who needed to go to hospital - so we took a taxi - simples. The worst part was we were living in a country where alcohol was banned, so had to stand as far away from the staff as possible to not breath alcoholic fumes on them while still managing to console poor DS. Obviously (before anyone says anything) we weren't blind drunk, just had a couple of glasses of home brew.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:58:13

fricking christmas fricking traditions


Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 10:58:20

Actually, I'll admit to the buggy one blush.

I went from buying lots of shoes, to buying buggies.

I did sell them on each time which paid for my habit, I don't have dozens of buggies lurking in the loft

Joysmum Mon 16-Dec-13 10:58:34

Mums who are entirely 100% happy to either be working, or a SAHM. In my experience, those of us who are SAHMs feel we are missing out and those who have to work because of finances feel they are missing out too. Nobody I know has ever been 100% happy with their lot 100% of the time.

BigChocolateOrange Mon 16-Dec-13 10:59:10

Oh, and people who think of a nickname for their unborn child BEFORE they pick an actual name. Surely you pick a name you love, and a nickname is an organic thing? If you like the bloody nickname that much just call your kid that.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 10:59:19

oh the germ phobes
( see loo threads) and people who wont shit when away from their own houses .

Oh and those who wont answer the door or phone then wonder why they dont have mates.

kennyp Mon 16-Dec-13 10:59:35

i am lolling at this!!! love it!!!
when i'm drinking wine when the kids are in the house the last thing me or my friends are thinking about is an A&E related need!??!?!!?

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 11:01:03

and people who have to ask other people what to buy at fricking aldi

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:01:03

Heres one - people who get terrified that their children are going to be somehow abused by a paedo simple because Nanna has put up a picture.

Quite probably the same people who now keep slapping up pictures of their offspring on MN.

Ah yes, not rocket science is it?

Gullygirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:01:47

You are not allowed to say that a child is ever just naughty/violent/disruptive.You MUST consider that they could have SNs.
Elf on The Shelf? WTF.
I have never heard of a Christmas Eve Hamper in RL.
In laws are usually toxic.

Noe LTB.

ConfusedDotty Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:13

I have seen actual mothers out and about with buggies and all kinds without thier DPs/DHs, unlike Mother's on MN who slag off partners for leaving them to do the shopping alone while they are slope off to work/golf weekends.

Never ever seen anyone arguing near a parent and child parking space.

Never had a nasty comment/letter from the school regarding the contents of a packed lunch.

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:20

Exactly Hanne. Ditto nicknames. 'I want to call my baby Pubert. Now what nickname shall we have?' It'll evolve or not of it own accord. You cant control everything.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:28

re school choice agony- I made sure mine didn't go to the local school as it is shit. Id rather walk 20 mins for them to go to an outstanding school rather than just send them over the road because its near. loads of people i know at their school did the same. but that's my choice, I know it may be looked upon as snobbery <shrugs>

Dwerf Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:32

I don't drive. I had several lessons and decided for the greater good of mankind and my sanity that I was never going to be a driver. You're welcome.

Also the undiagnosed thing. I have SAD (or at least many of the symptoms). It's undiagnosed. Or rather, I told the doctor I suspected I had it, they went "mhhmmm, here's a pamplet". Helpful. I treat myself as if I do have it, I feel better when I follow the suggested treatments ( a light box, exercise etc). I doubt there's more a doctor could do except prescribe pills.

My dd is a class rep grin

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:35

thank god i have blocked that whole topic

Gullygirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:02:36

Now LTB.

For all those grammatical pedants out there.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 11:03:00

christmas eve hamper - what fresh hell is that?

Trills Mon 16-Dec-13 11:03:43

That's why MN is amazing - you get to see things that:

Are different to how your friends/family/village do things
Are things that people think but wouldn't say out loud

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 11:04:10

Sorry BigChocOrange cross posted with you there re nicknames. Great minds and all that...grin

Trills Mon 16-Dec-13 11:04:20

I assume that you are saying "MN is amazing because I see all of this greater variety of human life" rather than "I don't think these things exist and so everyone who posts about them is lying".

gordyslovesheep Mon 16-Dec-13 11:04:51

parents who never ever ever say anything negative ever - especially on FB

Parents who are never publicly proud of their kids

Peedows everywhere

school yard cliques (never ever encountered this in 8 years)

Penis beakers

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 11:04:54

Oh can I add:

People who take offence at everything so easily.

People so paranoid that every joke or every innocent comment is somehow all about them and making them feel bad about a choice they made even though the people coukdvt give a crap.

People who get upset that a coeliac/vegan/halal eating person brings their own lunch because they really don't want to put people out and want to enjoy the meal.

These workman/ delivery Men that shit all over floors.

Delivery men who hurl stuff over fences.

People who care what time the take away is ordered or how near it is and how "lazy" the caller was being


BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 11:05:07

School gate bust ups with other mums. Never seen it.

DontmindifIdo Mon 16-Dec-13 11:06:21

oh yes, the people who make their DH ask them permission to go out to play with the other boys to have a drink with their friends.

The others who think getting drunk less than 5 times a year is a sign that he's got a drink problem and she should leave him.

Oh and the mummy martyrs who think spending any money on yourself is immoral now you're a mother. (see the thread I started asking for handbag suggestions around the £800 mark with some money I'd been left by a relative who was a bit of an accessory queen herself, and was told to buy a bench instead, because somehow that would be more morally acceptable, or art work, in fact, spending hte money was fine, so long as I didn't spend it on something that was just for my use, it had only to be spent on something for collective use to be acceptable.)

DreamingofSummer Mon 16-Dec-13 11:06:21

Angst about workmen using your toilet, or about not using the toilet when there are workmen in the house.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:06:40

don't get the nickname angst at all! dds names is always being vetoed on baby names as it can't be shortened- so fucking what?!

Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 11:07:09

Agree with the nicknames too. A friend of mine decided on the name and nickname when she was pregnant.

Mine have nicknames but they've evolved over time - i.e, eldest is known as Doll by everyone which came from Dolly Day Dreamer. It just happened over the years, based on one of her traits, I always thought that's how nicknames were supposed to work

limitedperiodonly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:07:55

Children who are impeccably behaved and make chit chat about world events in restaurants because 'we put the hours in'.

Latara Mon 16-Dec-13 11:07:57

I have had men walk up to me and say ''smile'' or ''cheer up love'' (maybe I just looked dead miserable?);

I don't drive (epilepsy);

I have friends with a toxic SIL (but they don't say toxic, just call her a PITA)

I get the rage if my own cat shits in the garden and doesn't use her tray.

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 11:08:17

Not working. I don't know any SAHMs. We all fucking have to work

I know plenty of SAHM'S it isn't a mnet phenomenon grin

I know plenty who work f/t and p/t too.

The main difference between mnet and RL is that in RL no one seems to give a fuck how or why another parent is staying at home or working or whatever.

We just seem to be able to get on with keeping our own affairs in order wink

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:09:17

People who think that boarding school is a preferable alternative to a 12 year old spending an hour at home between 4.30pm and 5.30pm five days a week.

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:10:00

The constant referral to anyone who doesn't live by your rules and standards as 'entitled'. The expectation that no-one, including close relations, should ever offer babysitting services, buy a present for your child, want to see your child or attend a birthday party for the said child unless they live within a 1 mile radius grin

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:10:35

I have seen a school gate fisticuffs - hilarious

I've also seen school gate dad get out a quart of whiskey and swig from the bottle

Baby ballet? WTF is that?

People who dont see that a perfectly normal average family with no 'ishoos' can produce a devil child, who doesnt have some form of SN.

SN - the most over used acronym on the planet. Everyone is special and everyone has needs. Thats that one nailed too.

meddie Mon 16-Dec-13 11:11:50

New mums not allowing visitors for weeks after the birth. Were I come from if someone has a baby its normal for the family to pile into the hospital that night to meet the new arrival. Give presents
Take pics etc etc. No one would even consider banning grandparents it would be unthinkable

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 11:12:34

All of the above - especially these people with endless patience who never get cross or lose their temper. This sort of saint is actually the type that pushes my buttons in real life and make me rage.

Am off to think of more....

babybarrister Mon 16-Dec-13 11:13:38

people who think that spending £800 on a handbag is akin to mass murder

hyenafunk Mon 16-Dec-13 11:15:22

I don't answer door or phone unless I know who it is- generalised anxiety disorder and both are major panic triggers.
I don't drive, do elf on the shelf and Christmas Eve hampers.
Never shit in public.
Have a toxic dad and FIL.
Don't like GP posting pics of my DC on FB because I'm a super private person and even U don't post their pics online. Not a paedo issue, I just don't want them splattered all over internet without having a choice in it.
Have been told to cheer up my whole life.

So yeah, I fit a lot of these "only on MN things" grin

Slimchance Mon 16-Dec-13 11:15:35

Arf at baby Pubert that's hiliarious Banana! grin

People who have perfectly planned meals every night of the week which always include meat or fish, complicated sauces and at least two veg, and who never seem to eat leftovers or baked beans on toast, ever.

[Didn't have wedding list ourselves- we were older - already had most household things - held wedding in remote countryside (which cost a fortune to travel to) so seemed a bit cheeky]

Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 11:15:50

We've had schoolgate fisticuffs too. Lots of finger pointing and head waggling followed by slapping and hair pulling.

CalamitouslyWrong Mon 16-Dec-13 11:18:14

I've never seen anything about takeaway etiquette on MN. What difference does the time of ordering make? confused

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:19:00

the attitude that you shouldn't financially assist your children past the age of 18. seen this on here before, poster in dire straits, upset that parents won't give them a loan and have been told 'YOU'RE ENTITLED! HOW DARE YOU ASK THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD FOR HELP? STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET!!!!1!1'

thank god my parents don't stop seeing me and dBro as their children because we're legally adults! When mine grow up I'll be exactly the same, help them if they need it?

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 11:19:24

People who think drs should prescribe everything even though it can be bought OTC for a couple of quid.

People who worry about perfectly safe happy children in perfectly normal day to day situations , just because they aren't screaming to be picked up and bf abs can entertain themselves.

People who fancy justin fletcher.

People who think a glass of wine with dinner is setting kids up for drink problems.

People who care what name children use to call body parts.

People who hate pets so much.


BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:19:29

Not working. I don't know any SAHMs. We all fucking have to work

Ah well you see, SAHM if your DH can support your lifestyle without tax credits etc - otherwise you are just unemployed.

I agree, we all have to work.

BananaNotPeelingWell Mon 16-Dec-13 11:22:35

The whole baby names topic confuses me. 'If I like Susan, Chole and Alice, what other names might I like?'...'Amanda'. And they are connected how exactly?confused Its like Mornington Crescent but with names.

BigFatGoalie Mon 16-Dec-13 11:23:30


limitedperiodonly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:23:43

It starts before 18 myleskennedy.

Because if you give your children more than a satsuma for Christmas and let them watch telly after school instead of bringing the coal in they'll end up: 'HORRIBLY ENTITLED ADULTS WHO CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD BY THEMSELVES.'

<another adult lucky enough to have dotingly deluded parents>

ComposHat Mon 16-Dec-13 11:24:14

Red fucking flags. Never heard anyone use it in the real world, unless they are enthusiastic communists or experts in semaphore.

'That's a red flag for me.' I can't help but think, 'yeah and I know where I'd like to shove that red flag.'

It seems to be a ridiculously poncy way of saying, 'that's a bit worrying.'

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:25:00

Doula - WTF is one of those? I know no one who has had one of these, desired one, been offered one or would even know what one is.

Cleaners - tha trauma over what to give the hired help for Christmas. I tell ya now, she wont speak english, has been nipping your sherry, and wont be paying tax and NI >taps nose< its a cash-in-hand industry

Au pair - of course, the entire MN world has a spare bedroom and car for some flibberty gibbet to waft in and out with the pretense of learning English.

vickibee Mon 16-Dec-13 11:25:27

LTB seems to come up a lot even for minor irritations, if only it was that simple.?

DadOnIce Mon 16-Dec-13 11:26:27

My mum worked, as did most of my friends' mums (at least part-time). I just assumed, growing up in the 80s/90s, that the whole "work" thing was done and dusted now - that everyone wanted or needed to work, unless they were super-rich. Women I was at university with all wanted to get jobs. Nobody was talking about giving up at 26 to have children.

So it was an incredible eye-opener when the children started school just how many SAHMs there were. I literally did not know there were so many.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:14

Haha v.true limited the Christmas presents threads on here make me die. my dc aren't going to suddenly turn into brats because they get lots at Christmas!

i just can't understand that attitude, my parents will d. anything to help me out, not because I'm entitled and I expect it, but because I'm their daughter, they love me and they don't want us to struggle if we don't have to. Don't get what's so wrong with that?!

vickibee Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:39

Dad on ice, I agree with you. I rush after to drop off to get to work on time and all the Mums are having a chat in the playground and generally loitering with no place to go? Only jealous.....

Absy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:49

People who only shower like once a week. It seems very common on MN. It's not as common (as far as i'm aware) with people I encounter in everyday life. Or people in lieu of showering go and do a strip wash. How is that easier? It's such a hassle.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:52

I relatively new on here and am surprised at the frequency fairly tame thread starts turn into a kerfuffle.

Only on MN;

The inability to have a rant about rude parents/children without someone getting very upset that the parent or child could have a yet undiagnosed borderline personality disorder or similar. Some children and/or parents are just rude and badly behaved, I see it all the time!! And I only go out twice a week blush

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'. Then you need to be shouted at for 15 pages until everyone realises the OP has fucked the fuck off and they are just squabbling amongst themselves.

I am a SAHM by the way. We do exist however as someone said above, I feel I should be working so am going to look for weekend work never happy

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:30:14

Absolutely to SAHM/WOHM debate and BF/FF - neither are issues I have ever encountered in RL.

However, where I live in South London, the school debate is a massive issue - mainly because there is very little actual choice as distance bands are so miniscule for most of the good ones.

DH has had lots of child parking rage incidents so that one I do recognise.

Elf on a shelf too - most people in RL have never heard of them except one American friend. Personally, I find the whole thing creepy. DD has an elf (from Tiger, not a special one) but it stays firmly on the mantelpiece unless she moves it.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:30:15

Doula - WTF is one of those?

It means "I think the NCT is terribly common these days, don't you?"

Absy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:31:49

And on the other end of the scale, people who wash towels every day. Why? WHY?

I do worry that either I'm hugely fastidiously clean, or a complete slacker.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 11:31:49


There was an entertaining AiBU where someone ordered a take away from a shop mere metes from their house and it had taken forever to arrive.

One poster then asked "why did you order so early?"

Needless to say some felt expecting your local take away to deliver in less than three hours and not walking up to get it was very U grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:32:42

I had a doula lol. I was booked for a home birth until week 39 when my Mother informed me I couldn't have a home birth as a 'spiritual friend' had told her I would die or something. So all change, gave birth in my local hospital, doula made the last hour as she was racing back from a Yoga symposium and was stuck on the motorway.

Yup, you couldn't make it up grin

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:33:32

Chrisatmas stockings - why why why why why does it matter if MIL bought one and filled it up too?

Why why why can't other people buy your child presents?

never have I encountered this in the real world

CalamitouslyWrong Mon 16-Dec-13 11:33:34

Dadonice: I had the same experience growing up; everyone's mum worked. My grandmothers both worked. I don't think any woman in my family has ever been a SAHM. If they weren't in work, they were looking for it. The whole, 'it's a new thing that women go out to work' argument always confuses me. Maybe it's the case in the leafy shires of middle England, but certainly not where I grew up.

feelingdizzy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:34:21

Oh so many, people who don't let anyone near their new-born for weeks . I am from the west of Ireland you need to prepare for 20 plus visitors a day.
The involvement in the tiny detail of their kids lives, and then pretending to be enthralled by it all. I am 39 my children are 10 and 11 not surprisingly we like different things.

The whole LTB thing, I was married to a bastard, it is obvious you don't need to go looking for it.

The whole feed the family of four on lentils and chicken and things you have in your stock cupboard. Seriously have you ever really been poor, you don't have a bloody back up plan. You are poor therefore you have no money.

Without getting to heavy the SN thing pisses me off, I have 2 brothers with SN and also teach children with SN. I find this whole thing about how different they are ,how they need to be handled differently, a subtle way off alienating people who might need a bit of support . Also you can have a very difficult child with no SN and wait for it people with SN can also be dickheads, they do have their own personalities, some nice some not.

caketinrosie Mon 16-Dec-13 11:34:33

Thank god, I thought it was just me. I've been in a state of total confusion thinking I was shit mum misguided due to my clear alcoholism Btl of wine a week because I have no idea what the elf thing is. I also know exactly what to buy at aldi on the weekly big shop, and I would love to buy an £800.00 quid handbag -- but I'm skint-- even if it meant the dc's had to go without. fgrin do have proper SN dc's though two of the buggers (ASD) greedy me fgrin

OpalTourmaline Mon 16-Dec-13 11:36:23

In real life plenty of people go back to work after having a baby because they need the money, or because they don't want to harm their career, or because being a SAHM wouldn't suit them, but only on MN have I ever heard anyone say that it is important that they demonstrate a good work ethic to their 6 month old baby. Yes I have actually seen that on MN. A 6 month old baby does not care about their mum demonstrating a good work ethic! Maybe when they reach school age this becomes more relevant.

Steben Mon 16-Dec-13 11:37:09

Yes to toilet brush hysteria, (see also fanatical weekly bed changing). Trying hard - and failing - not to laugh loudly at "wanky xmas elves" as am at work.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:37:52

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'

precisely the reason I never post on anything political. I know my views differ from the majority on here, can't be bothered to argue my viewpoints because they get shouted down instantly. Waste of time.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:38:54

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'

Or trolling.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 11:38:56

People who over think/analyse every little nuance in family life.

Sometimes, my husband is a fucking penis - I tell him this, sometimes I am - he tells me this; sometimes he makes me actual lol, sometimes he is a lazy pain in the arse, sometimes my kids piss me right off, sometimes I just want to fuck off on my own for the day and sit in costa with my book instead of watch frigging rugby/football/whatever, sometimes I want to be around them and spread my joy.

On occasion both of us have come home so pissed we couldn't stand, my husband holds my hair back whilst I puke/I get the sick bucket for him and put him to sleep on the sofa.

This, to me, is normal - I am not an apologist/handmaiden/doormat etc, I am not uncaring/shouldn't have had kids if they get on my nerves at times.

You do not always have to LTB.

limitedperiodonly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:38:57

WHERE IS THE OP????? Is she a journo? wink

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Mon 16-Dec-13 11:40:04

A group of people commonly referred to as royalty who are not even a distant second cousin once removed of any royal family grin

BohemianGirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:40:30

Female Body Hair. I can unequivocally tell you I have no idea whether any of my mates shave their minge. Or not. As the case may be.

If I shaved it it would not look a 13yo prepubescent minge. It would like a 50yo bald minge.

Ditto if I grew it, it would be because I was lazy, not a radical feminist.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 11:42:21


"Red fucking flags. Never heard anyone use it in the real world, unless they are enthusiastic communists or experts in semaphore."

I have just laughed so hard at that, I think I may have actually expelled an ovary. blush

VoodooChimp Mon 16-Dec-13 11:44:12

People who only spend £5 on their children's christmas presents.

People who call the police if they see a child asleep in a car outside someone's house.

People who think that anyone slightly different from themselves is "on the spectrum" or has some sort of undiagnosed personality disorder.

ProfondoRosso Mon 16-Dec-13 11:46:52

All the lavvy brush business
People using the word 'common'
The idea that Hebe or Hecate are sensible names for babies

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 11:47:06

People who are vehemently opinionated about children with SNs.

I'd love to meet some of the ignorant twats whose posts I read on here.

A face to face 'schooling' would be much more satisfying.

Women that don't want their MILs to visit when their babies are born, but are fine with their own mums being there

women who schedule their DH lone childcare duties the morning after he has had a night out. presumably this is some sort of punishment or deterrent?

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:49:32

Ahhh see the loo brush thing, I'm one of those weirdos who thinks owning a brush full of shit flakes is disgusting grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:51:46

I think the 'red flag' euphemism comes from those bastard house selling programs where every bit of wall or floor stainage is a red flag to purchasers.

If I hear it I always expect Phil, he of the expensive range of pastel shirts, to be around a corner not helping to sell a house for someone.

oscarwilde Mon 16-Dec-13 11:52:53

The endless navel gazing and analysis about people's relationships when someone posts a rant about how much of a PITA their partner has been that day

The speculation and amateur diagnoses about people "being on the spectrum" / SN thing also does my head in. As soon as anyone posts a comment about somebody rude or badly behaved, the apologists jump in to explain it all away. I personally find this hysterical as my MIL does it about my BIL to explain away the fact that he is just a rude cock most of the time. Since word got out that she's telling people he has Asbergers, it has improved his behaviour immensely. grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:53:56

Myles, I'm with you there. My son is fascinated by anything that sits on the floor. He would not be able to leave a loo brush alone for five seconds. Imagine some shit covered brush being dragged across the landing by a 13 month old leaving a trail of light brown seepage behind him.


I'm a sahm and know lots of others.
My ds2 loves pink and likes dressing up as a princess.
Mumsnet is not real life <shrug>

Balaboosta Mon 16-Dec-13 11:54:51

RSVPs and children's parties. Never been a big deal. Don't always do it myself. Never had anyone else make a big deal about it.

Balaboosta Mon 16-Dec-13 11:56:00

Oh god - and telling absolutely everyone to get counselling. Not alway bad advice - but bad advice to give always.

MylesKennedysVocalCords Mon 16-Dec-13 11:56:47

seb- exactly the reason I don't have one- ewww!

caketinrosie Mon 16-Dec-13 11:58:00

Monicalewinski you really made me laugh because my life is so not like yours exactly the same DH and I never get pissed at the same time always do because you never know if one of the dc's might need to go to the hospital. unlucky if they do ha ha oh and glad to hear life has moved on after Bill, he was never right for you! fgrin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 11:58:08

The OPs who leave the key part of their post from their thread opener leading to countless pages of fuffle, only to then get pissed off that no one is agreeing with them and then drops the key info in on page 7. So now everyone has to repost as the situation is 180 degrees different.

Just explain the situation clearly in your opening post and you might get some well considered replies!!!

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 11:59:29

People who have to have name for everything.

Oh I'm EBF

We co-sleep

Elimination communication

Look you are all just looking after kids. You are feeding and you are weaning and they are using the toilet. - who cares about official names?

People who panic so much if for one day their kid are nothing but a yogurt or a banana. Welcome to toddlerhood-that's a good day grin

People so obsessed with fruit shoots- yes they arebt great but once a week at party or soft play they arebt going to drop dead.

People who can't dress kids appropriately for a trip then blame the school that clothing wasn't specifically spelt out confused

People who stop their kids doing everything as it's dangerous. - do you have stairs and a kitchen at home? Better move quick grin

Anyone who buys lelli Kelli shoes.

Anyone who things tv is child abuse

RabbitPies Mon 16-Dec-13 12:00:58

People who are convinced that their child will be homeless,and financially and morally bankrupt by 20 if they allow them to have a chocolate Advent calendar.Such wanton indulgence can only lead to them wanting more,and then where will they be? Most likely taking tips from Bill Sykes,and picking a pocket or two.

Itwasntmeanttobelikethis Mon 16-Dec-13 12:02:37

The competitive under-spending at Xmas

Cat poo rage and Dog hating

DHs staying out all night without phoning home

mumofboyo Mon 16-Dec-13 12:02:48

Also the amount of micro managing children's activities and play dates is beyond belief.
I'd never heard of a 'play date' (apart from one episode of Friends "You have a play date with a stripper ?!") until I came on here. I just know it as the kids going to a mate's house for tea and if I know their parents I'll go along as well.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 12:03:21

Yes and yes to everything in you op. I also think there are a higher percentage of women married to narcissists and misogynists on MN than in RL.

Oh yea and no one ever asks me if I think they are pregnant because they have itchy skin, headaches and other random symptoms. Most people just do a pregnancy test!

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 12:06:19

caketinrosie fgrin fwink

WhereIsMyHat Mon 16-Dec-13 12:14:21

Pretty much everything on this thread. I must live I. Reasonable-ville as everyone seems to accept one another's differences.

That people who ask for something to be done are 'toxic' or 'narc' on here.

I've met some nasty ones but self diagnosis strikes me as stupid.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 12:20:04


I am only passive-aggressive when I am deliberately trying to push someone's buttons for whatever reason.

I therefore judge all instances of passive-aggressiveness by my (low?), motivations & standards, and assume that the perpetrator is deliberately being an obnoxious twat.

I cannot accept that people 'really don't understand' that they are WINDING PEOPLE UP!!!

notanotherusername1 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:24:37

Calling another woman a c* Just using that word at all.

stopgap Mon 16-Dec-13 12:24:39

People who send their kids to Eton.

The prevalence of feckless and utterly useless husbands.

People who hate dogs.

omuwalamulungi Mon 16-Dec-13 12:25:49

Toxic and Narc irritate me a bit too. I had no idea all these toxic people were around.

"Entitled" really annoys me, it's not entitled to expect your family and friends to do you a favour once in a while. It all evens out over time doesn't it?

Haven't seen "grabby" in a while...

HumphreyCobbler Mon 16-Dec-13 12:29:13

People who think that those who get upset because their parents have left their entire five million quid estate to their horrible little brother and only left them 50p and a china cat are unreasonable and entitled.

They can leave their money to whoever they choose! Suck it up you whiny shit.

I have never heard this in RL. Lots of the other things mentioned on here I have personal experience of grin I am a SAHM, I know toxic people (don't post about them though), friends had doulas, I have witnessed school gate fights and I know someone whose child goes to Eton.

schokolade Mon 16-Dec-13 12:32:08

My mum has cat poo rage and "people parking in front of her house" rage grin I have also been told off by acquaintances (with no children) for going back to work before DC are at school - why have children if you don't want to look after them, apparently. I always say why aren't they asking DH the same thing, they usually splutter for a while and give up.

Never encountered over-enthusiastic school lunch box policing (although I am sure it exists).

Angst over DC having chocolate advent calendars.

Anyone at all caring/noticing what anyone else has in their houses in terms of pebbles, feature walls, photos, etc. Ditto to giving the tiniest shit about what sort of toilet paper other people have.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 12:37:02

People who think you should send your kid to the local shitty school that's always been shit and has the lowest attendance and sats results of any school in the area because wanting more means you are a snob.

People who's kids never have tantrums.

People who's one year olds really do eat smoked salmon caviar and Stilton.

People who's kids few up and became a princess because they wanted nothing else after watching Disney.

People who panic over girls who are Girly.

People whos kids get these organic healthy locally sourced meat and veg for school dinners.

People who actually think Ella's pouches are superior to jars.

People so adamant that their baby won't eat a morsel til exactly six months.

People who hate soft play so much

People who moan the cakes are out with the savoury food at kids parties

soverylucky Mon 16-Dec-13 12:37:24

Well I do hate dogs and will tell people if their disgusting creature touches me and I did have one comment about ff from a stranger years ago. I also hate wedding lists but would never say anything.

I don't care though about reading bands and what other kids are on.

MummytoMog Mon 16-Dec-13 12:38:38

I do not drink at home unless I know someone else is sober to take the kids to hospital. Which basically means I don't drink at home. That's ok though, I was raised teetotal and it's not much of a loss.

soverylucky Mon 16-Dec-13 12:39:08

Oh and my next door neighbour hates me parking outside her house on the street because she is an idiot. She has given up asking me to stop now.

cloggal Mon 16-Dec-13 12:40:03

Agree with pretty much everything here - but I think certain things are easier to discuss here than IRL so it's bound to happen. Bf/ff isn't something most people outside of HVs etc would dream of commenting on, but on MN people get to vent.

I think 'toxic' has just become a catch all term for some genuine problems, which isn't always helpful. We are 'nc' with some relatives and with good reason, but that is considered weird in RL, not on MN it would seem, so I'm more likely to discuss it here precisely because people won't be horrified.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:40:03

I do not drink at home unless I know someone else is sober to take the kids to hospital.

Likewise. I call the sober person "the ambulance driver", and he has a special easy-to-remember telephone number I can dial, too.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:41:27

People who whip themselves up into a hysterical rage about what part their child has been allocated in a reception class nativity play.

People who whip themselves up into a hysterical rage if a teacher dares tell their naughty child to stop being naughty ("IT'S HUMILIAAATION!" "Oh I KNOW! Poor YOU OP! Things like this LIVE WITH OUR DC FOR EVER! I remember when Miss X was HORRID to me when I was 6 and I've NEVER GOT OVER IT!").

Golddigger Mon 16-Dec-13 12:43:57

Why is mumsnet so out of sync with our real lives?

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 12:45:13

grin @Friday

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 12:48:06

It took me a minute to get your post Friday - I was all hmm, then I was shockgrin - I must sharpen up!

DreamingofSummer Mon 16-Dec-13 12:48:22

I forgot to mention "I'm not going to have my children vaccinated as I don't want something toxic going inside their precious little bodies"

CalamitouslyWrong Mon 16-Dec-13 12:49:07

I think the internet amplifies the petty annoyances of life.

It also provides a meeting place for people with unusual beliefs, opinions and practices. Most people who don't share them, or don't feel hugely strongly, can't be arsed to post in response so you get quite a skewed version of reality.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:49:18

Oh and all the vomit inducing baby talk. I mean, you do see it in RL but not nearly as much as on here.


"I luffs him" ARRRGHHH

"My ickle man" I WANT TO KILL YOU

Endless others I can't even bring myself to write down.

Steben Mon 16-Dec-13 12:49:25

wine to friday16

And agree with the competitive chicken meal making. However I do know several people who have bought 4/5 prams and have never understood it.

Allegrogirl Mon 16-Dec-13 12:55:00

Elf on the shelf/christmas hampers

Class reps/contact lists for classmates parents/collections for teachers (DDs school clearly not well organised)

SAH vs WOH angst

BF/FF angst

Babybjorn horror

Children in tears over nursery/CM/after school club attendance

Random rudeness of strangers, particularly on public transport

Not drinking at home in case of emergencies

Screams of 'entitled' if you use/would like to use family for childcare

DingDongUriGelleryOnHigh Mon 16-Dec-13 12:55:16

Got the MN Legend that is The Checkout Rage Bitch yesterday. She had 3 items in her trolley so after~ giving her a nice gap OH started to put things on the belt. CRB tutting and grimacing began shoving our shopping back and back with the little plastic thing, til she had a fully clear belt for her 3 items.

We were in stitches, which infuriated the CRB even more. She hissed, "It's a good job I haven't got a full trolley isn't it?"

Till lady told her to calm down and apologised to us. She actually said, "Dont worry about her, look she's a Daily Mail reader". grin

Joysmum Mon 16-Dec-13 13:09:10

If I'd posted about half the arguments that had gone on in my marriage over the years and followed the general attitude on here:

We'd be bankrupt due to counselling costs
We'd be passive aggressive abusers
We'd be aggressive abusers
We'd be controlling
We'd believe we were sex addicts
We'd be selfish
I'd be a lazy SAHM with no life
Hubby would be using me as a slave
I'd be seen as a victim
He'd be seen as a victim
We'd be divorced!

Nobody with a happy marriage in real life has ever seen twatty behaviour as anything other than a bad day, it's not sinister or a red flag. Those that do see it this way because they are projecting and it's no wonder they are divorced.

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Mon 16-Dec-13 13:09:33

Sycophantic fawning over absolute strangers.

CalamitouslyWrong Mon 16-Dec-13 13:10:25

Arf @ she's a daily mail reader. grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:10:36

Actually I also cannot stand the Dear Children, Dear Husband acronyms. They are horrible American but all over message boards so I tolerate it and even sometimes use them

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 13:13:44

That is hilarious DingDong grin

I know these crazy parents exist, my SIL and DB are one. Apparently all the other parents think they are crazy.

Complain a lot about someone parking in front of your house - check
Complain loudly to the school about petty things e.g. your DS didnt change his clothes on an overnight trip with the school and the teacher didn't make him, even though he is 10. - check
Insist extended family go to all school plays and get there early to save seats for them - check
Tell anyone off loudly who you do not think should be using P&T spaces, including disabled people - check

etc, etc.

But I suspect if my SIL is on a parenting forum it will be netmums.

DreamingofSummer Mon 16-Dec-13 13:13:45

sebsmummy1 totally agree

ananikifo Mon 16-Dec-13 13:20:49

People who need to be told what to buy from Aldi or Lidl, or from a supermarket value range. It's not that big of a risk to try a different yoghurt for one week. Also people who plan a trip to ikea and then ask for recommendations on what to buy. Why would you going you don't know anything about the store or what you could buy there?

People who correct the teacher's grammar on their child's homework, or the doctor's grammar on a medical report.

People who think bread has to much salt for young children, and yogurt has too much sugar.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:33:14

Insist extended family go to all school plays and get there early to save seats for them

Which brings up another "exists only on MN" type: people who, when invited to waste spend an evening watching their second cousin's school play, are unable to say "no thanks, I'm afraid we won't be going" without creating some huge drama.

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 13:41:29

I think the problem is when parents bring children up with the expectation that of course certain relatives will attend plays, etc, the children do actually get disappointed if you dont go. I don't give a toss about the adults involved.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 13:41:31

Also don't forget all those women whose partner/husband isn't bothered about a joint account. Well they should LB, his obviously not committed (even if you have been together years) and his controlling.

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question. Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers that are just here to benefit bash and they want to see millions of children starve and on the streets.

Total agree with the DC/DC comment above.

Freddiefrog Mon 16-Dec-13 13:43:30

People who complain about Beaver/Cub/Scout/other organisations run by volunteers because they were late back from camp/didn't change their underwear for the weekend/aren't doing enough badges/whatever

Put up or shut up

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:46:01

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question.

Well, that's the achilles heel of politics, isn't it?

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 13:49:29

It is but in RL people can at least have a discussion about it. On MN people start handing out [biscuits] and chocolate medals. Crazy!

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:53:25

Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers

Well, if the cap fits... I am quite happy to accuse benefit bashers of being all these things in RL, face to face smile.

And the achilles heel thing was, you know, a joke. Ligament? Achilles heel? Well, I thought it was pretty good.

greenfolder Mon 16-Dec-13 13:53:46

people who use farrow and ball paint. £65 for five litres of something called elephants breath? Grey one assumes.

i once mentioned on a thread about someone wanting to tart up their kitchen before sale that we had bought some cream paint from Homebase (11 quid for 5 litres) and i would challenge anyone to spot the difference.

That was fun!

limitedperiodonly Mon 16-Dec-13 13:54:32

I don't think my mum ever attended a single school play or sports day. She was a bit busy and probably bored by them. I've coped.

I'd never have reminded of it because she'd have angrily denied it. She did have a selective memory wink

ComposHat Mon 16-Dec-13 13:58:26

Actually I also cannot stand the Dear Children, Dear Husband acronyms

I agree.

The other week someone had put up a post about the problems they were having with their step children.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

I don't refer to my wife as DW on here. It isn't because I don't love her, it is simply because I find it utterly nauseating.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:00:25

I don't refer to my wife as DW on here. It isn't because I don't love her, it is simply because I find it utterly nauseating.


I do use the DC thing because everybody else does but it does make me feel sick and I'm going to just type "child" in future.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:01:44

people go onto twitter with the DC crap and it just looks a bit sad
just say s1 or d2

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 14:03:13

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question. Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers that are just here to benefit bash and they want to see millions of children starve and on the streets

Well, the difference between a chat in RL and a thread on here, is that on here you will get facts with links to sources and people with actual first hand experience of the system, rather than the opinions and assumptions of someone in RL, which may or may not be near the truth.

If you wish to rant about the welfare state, talk to someone in RL.

If you wish to learn about the welfare state, start, read or post on a thread about it on MN.

You can of course rant about it on here, but don't expect it to go unchallenged/corrected.

livenlet Mon 16-Dec-13 14:03:35

Do you ride the bus in the city its full of nutt jobs and rude peple

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:03:41

when people ask for evidence as if its some kind of academic seminar

TheBigJessie Mon 16-Dec-13 14:03:58

This elf on the shelf thing. Sounds bloody creepy.

The ever-lasting chickens.

Rude elderly people who criticise your parenting on the bus. Elderly people always say nice supportive things to me about my children, or say nothing. I do, however, end up making conversation with people who turn out to be stuck in the 1950s, and think they have the green light to regale me with casual racism. angry

I did once eavesdrop on a woman telling her friend about the fight she had with her ex's new girlfriend at school pick-up. Natually, facebook statuses had been the catalyst for this fight in front of the children. So it doesn't just happen on MN.

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 14:04:39

I do use the DC thing because everybody else does but it does make me feel sick and I'm going to just type "child" in future

Me too, I sometimes rebel and type out the full 'name' of the person concerned.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 14:05:39

I'm happy to report I've never used "DH" or "DC". I loathe this so.

I have never received a gift list in a wedding invitation.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:06:30

PMSL at greenfolder re. Farrow and Ball paint grin

I used that stuff once and it's as thin as piss, you need 15 coats to cover a pencil line. I love the evocative heritage titles that entice you to see past the hefty price tag. It's all about aspirations living so I'm told wink

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:07:34


livenlet Mon 16-Dec-13 14:07:34

Did wonder wat the extra d meant in going with dependant it suits my fam more than dear

redexpat Mon 16-Dec-13 14:08:40

The competative love of red hair. All those threads that start 'x person made a horrible comment about my rehead DS' end in a competition of who loves gingers the most. I wish there were more of them in real life grin

And oh yes freddie the expectations of what Guides, Brownies, Cubs do are the most unrealistic I have ever seen!

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:08:51

when people ask for evidence as if its some kind of academic seminar

Yes, because god forbid that when somebody posts ill informed, unsubstantiated bollocks about ooh, I don't know, immigration or benefits somebody should ask them how they've reached their ridiculous conclusions...

AmberLeaf Mon 16-Dec-13 14:09:22

Farrow and Ball paint = The Emperors new clothes of the decorating world.

Fools and their money...

redexpat Mon 16-Dec-13 14:10:39

Oh and everyone hates their HV here. I don't know anyone who hates them in real life. Mine was wonderful.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 14:14:22

Oh yes. The irrational hatred of HV's. Mine was great too.

RavenRose Mon 16-Dec-13 14:19:24

I don't know anyone who actually gives a stuff how many or what Christmas presents you get for your own children.

Even if its an iPad. Actually I don't know anyone who would care about kids being given techy stuff either

ComposHat Mon 16-Dec-13 14:20:03

Farrow and Ball paint = The Emperors new clothes of the decorating world

Agreed. Absolute and utter mince their paint. Most professional decorators refuse to use it.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 14:20:07

YY about the competitive ginger loving redexpat; my sister was on the verge of making her titian pfb wear a hat for ever because of all the 'sorry for your ginger' headtilts that she got in real life - had she only lived in MN world she would have been revered!!

TheBigJessie Mon 16-Dec-13 14:20:20

Actually, I must confess that after all the stuff about Farrow and Ball, I am intrigued! If we ever become rich, and we buy a house with damp bits (obviously I would prefer a non-damp house), I will try F&B on the damp bits. See if it really does allow the walls to breathe.

'Cos Wilko's own isn't doing the damp here any good.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:20:41

God forbid anyone just post anything they think or feel without substantiating those thoughts and feelings with peer supported evidence or encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject.

Because everyone I know in RL only talks about things they have qualifications in. Every other subject is off the table.

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 14:23:39

Compo, whilst you're back on the thread I need to tell you that I do actually have my 'semaphore badge' from when I was a brownie.

I am off to do some red-flag refresher training this afternoon, I think!

LittleBairn Mon 16-Dec-13 14:24:21

fblush I admit I'm loo brush phobic. Drives my DH mad he doesn't believe others have the same issues.

Greensleeves Mon 16-Dec-13 14:27:20

People eating salad with EVERY meal

pizza and salad, lasagne and salad, pasta and salad, jam roly poly with fucking salad

we do eat salad, we are not veg-dodgers, but every single "what's for dinner" thread makes me feel inadequate that we don't have salad with everything

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:29:10

Green sleeves you are inviting comment now from a whole host of people who wish they could afford to have salad with every meal and you are fortunate to be able to consider implementing this, when they unfortunately cannot.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:29:34

*God forbid anyone just post anything they think or feel without substantiating those thoughts and feelings with peer supported evidence or encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject.

Because everyone I know in RL only talks about things they have qualifications in. Every other subject is off the table.*

Errr, I think there is a difference between asking somebody to have a degree in a subject before commenting and expecting they will have some very basic knowledge of what they're commenting on. I'm thinking of the large number of posters who complain, for example, that there are too many immigrants without actually having ANY knowledge of the extent of immigration in this country, the economic impact etc. etc. Just basically spouting ill informed tripe they've heard other people say. Making massive claims (like "there are too many immigrants" or "we can't afford the welfare bill") when you know literally nothing about these issues is irritating and I think people should expect to be picked up on it. I haven't seen many MN members demand that others cite a range of academic articles, but I have seen them ask for a bit of basic evidence to support a contentious claim. Nothing wrong with that.

kaymondo Mon 16-Dec-13 14:29:42

The competitive threads over how little you can leave the house with, ie I have 13 children and leave the house with a nappy and half a tissue in my pocket, can't understand why anyone needs a change bag - and usually on threads where people are asking for recommendations for changes bags, if you don't use one, why post!

I do not know 1 parent in real life who doesn't use a change bag for first couple of years a least!

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:29:52

Freaks who refuse to cut their kids (normally boys) "lovely curls" that actually look like ratty piles of crap.

Obv the girls get haircuts regular like

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:30:34

I give footnotes when talking about everything obv.

Not just recirved wisdom like all of us ;)

2Tinsellytocare Mon 16-Dec-13 14:31:29

I've never heard the term 'apologist' anywhere except MN.

OP's being called judgey when saying they heard someone calling their child a cunt etc etc, 'oh it's just a snapshot of their liiiife, that's how some people show affection'

People slagging people off for not being a SAHM or being a SAHM, but I would add that last time I looked it is working, as A SAHM I often work nights too!

People prizing pets over their own DC!

YY to sycophancy of complete strangers

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 14:32:20

You see even just mentioning the welfare system on here raises a response. Thankfully I have never raised a benefit thread so I don't have to worry about it. Bt it always amuses me when someone does. Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

Simply brilliant. Ha ha ha grin

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 14:32:44

You see even just mentioning the welfare system on here raises a response. Thankfully I have never raised a benefit thread so I don't have to worry about it. Bt it always amuses me when someone does. Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

Simply brilliant. Ha ha ha grin

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:33:55

Plus. No one ever allowed to get pissed off with their mates.

"Some friend you are" etc

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:35:47

Sadly, the bit about expectations of Cub leaders etc. does chime with me in RL. I was a leader for a short while but have friends who have been leaders for years. It doesn't happen often luckily, but they have definitely been at the receiving end of occasional parental meltdowns when children have returned home with dirty clothes from Cub camp for example. I mean what is Cub camp for if not to get your clothes dirty?

daisychain01 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:36:06

People with angst and anxiety attacks about giving their 5 year old DC a tablet that isnt Apple <shreaks and runs for the hills> in case it doesn't meet their little darling's approval and they reject it, so it lies forgotten and languishes in the toy cupboard (if such a thing still exists).

Eki-thump, I was lucky to get a tangerine at the age of 5!

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:36:14

Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL

Oh please. A simple google search will show you how widely this term is used.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:36:38

Dorothy I know that's the contention, however I rarely see these posts that many seem to think proliferate the boards.

The way posters are immediately admonished for mentioning countless of subjects is breath taking on here. All it takes is one nasty reply and it's like a pack mentality takes over. In RL it would be called bullying, on here it's called reeducating the misinformed.

meddie Mon 16-Dec-13 14:37:32

Rofl about cub camp. I was wondering if it was even worth [acking more than one pair of underpants for my sons week long trip. i never expected 6 dirty pairs back ever

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:37:58

But some stuff on here I am surprised about - have people really not ever sent or received a thank you letter for a child's birthday present? I am very slow at getting them done but I do do them.

And never receving a gift list in a wedding invitation? I am amazed - I guess it must be the different circles we all move in.

friday16 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:38:35

I'm thinking of the large number of posters who complain, for example, that there are too many immigrants without actually having ANY knowledge of the extent of immigration in this country,

See here for IPSOS-Mori poll on "the top 10 things we get wrong"

7. Immigration and ethnicity: the public think that 31% of the population are immigrants, when the official figures are 13%[viii]. Even estimates that attempt to account for illegal immigration suggest a figure closer to 15%. There are similar misperceptions on ethnicity: the average estimate is that Black and Asian people make up 30% of the population, when it is actually 11% (or 14% if we include mixed and other non-white ethnic groups)[ix].

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 14:38:55

Sebsmumy- but Xmas tradition threads?;)

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 14:40:10

cat shit, apparently it's all over gardens everywhere and blinding children in a regular basis!

anyone actually giving a fucking flying shit whether anyone else breast feeds or formula feeds.

anyone who limits the amount of screen time their kids have. actually met one who didn't have a tv in RL and their kid was never invited to tea as he downy the whole time watching the tv at other people's houses.

anyone anywhere who actually says 'play date'.

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:42:54

The best example I read of judgey pants was the poster who dared suggest that cold garlic bread and chips wasn't the best lunch for one of the nursery children she had observed that day and did anyone agree.

Well of course no one agreed and the consensus was she should wind her middle class neck in and keep the cuntibg hell out.

I would be very interested to read what her replies would have been had she posted that she had sent her daughter into nursery with a cold Bhuna from the local takeaway because the DM grin was late that morning and did anyone think that was wrong? I imagine she would have been hung up for it.

Daddypigsgusset Mon 16-Dec-13 14:43:37

Answering requests for favours with 'that does not work for me' rather than 'sorry, I won't be able to make it' DO NOT APOLOGISE EVER!

wigglesrock Mon 16-Dec-13 14:43:57

No, if my child has a party with school friends - we say thank you when we get a present, again when they leave & I would sent a quick text that evening. We see our families a few times a week, the kids see them on their birthday, lots of hugs & kisses & thank yous in person - I really don't send a thank you card as well & I've always given presents in person so really not sure why a thank you card would be needed smile

I've 2 kids in primary school, one in pre-school, several nieces & nephews, most of my friends have kids & not one birthday thank you letter/card between us & some of them are terribly naice. Maybe it's just not done where I am. Certainly we didn't write them as kids.

HoneyStepMummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:44:11

Competetive poverty. Threads and threads about how people are outraged that they are being asked to donate 2p to their kids school/teacher's Xmas gift fund.
Endless batch cooking as a solution to being stressed and overwhelmed- as if a big Tupperware dish of freezer burnt chili con carne is going to make life any easier.
Lots of LTB comments if anyone's DH dares to be a grown up with sexual needs or desires to out to the pub for a pint with his mates. If someone's DH suggests sex more than once a year it's "rape" and LTB. If the poor bloke resorts to porn then he's a perv so LTB.
Competetive SN kids. In RL I do not know anyone with SN kids apart from myself.
There was a thread where a mum thought it a bit rude that kids turn up completely empty handed to a kid's birthday party. Someone said even if the parents are really broke surely the kid could make a card themselves...the outlash was that "some people can't afford paper. Surely it's more important the kids show up to have a good time"

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 14:46:57

I agree that porn is unacceptable. For many of us, it is a deal breaker.

daisychain01 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:48:15

OK, I admit it blush I'm that fool - yup the one and only RL user of F&B it would appear smile - we got the Jonah White ... it isn't White and I haven't the foggiest who Jonah is, but I've got his paint!.

it does look gorgeous. And it goes a long way. Hey ho, maybe in 6 months time it will have peeled off ...

I'd love to know who makes up all the daft names "Mizzle" "Ball Green" "Elephants Breathe" (urghh).

HoneyStepMummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:48:48

ha ha sebsmummy1 I remember that thread. I think the outcry was that the child may have SN (competetive SN) or the parents can't afford anything else (competetive poverty).

daisychain01 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:50:51

Grennie - yes I agree with you 100% it would be a deal-breaker, why would anyone accept that (but sadly they do ... and dare I say it, they convince themselves, its OK I like it too ... hmmm right, OK)

monicalewinski Mon 16-Dec-13 14:51:59

thebody with you on all of them.

Very few acquaintances in rl seem to give a toss how I parent (bf/ff, wean age/co-sleep/sleep training blah blah blah), I don't give a rats how they do. I do, however, discuss it amongst friends if it's relevant or if invited to.

My cat presumably shits in gardens and that suits me as I don't have to empty a litter tray any more.

My kids seem to watch a lot of tv, but they also go out to play shock - they have done since they were about 4 shockshock - my 11 year old even goes off across town to call on his friends shockshockshock.

Aquariusgirl86 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:52:31

The phrase "you sound entitled"

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:56:27

Does anyone else actually (literally) wince sometimes when they read an opening post and know that in a matter of minutes the gates if he'll set going to (metaphorically) open and they are going to be ripped to shreds until they are gibbering wrecks?

Sometimes I find myself muttering flee flee, save yourself, think of the children for god sake grin

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:56:48

Of hell

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 14:57:24

Interesting wigglesrock. I must admit there is a move amongst some of my younger friends (I am an old gimmer and late mother) towards thanks for presents on facebook or by email or text, which is fine I agree. I wouldn't write to a relative we had thanked in person when the present was opened but we don't normally open presents at children's birthday parties (doubt many people do) so have to do thanks afterwards one way or another.

I always had to write thank you letters as a child so I guess it is a hang up. Even at my advanced age, my mother still asks me if I have written to such and such a relative who has sent a present and gives me the stinkeye if I haven't got round to it.

Mind you, it is a flipping nightmare when the cards and presents get mixed up as they did at my daughter's last birthday party.

happyhorse Mon 16-Dec-13 14:58:46

Whenever there's a thread about meal planning or cheap dinners there will always be people suggesting whipping up a batch of dhal. I don't think I've ever met anyone as obsessed with dhal in the real world.

FCEK Mon 16-Dec-13 15:09:45

The use of moon cups. I know no one who uses them in RL (or ever would). First heard of them on MN and still Boak.

fatlazymummy Mon 16-Dec-13 15:10:43

Breastfeeding in swimming pools. Breastfeeding in supermarkets. All the bf ing mums I know go in a baby room ,find a bench or just wait until they get home.
One person eating an omelette with 4 eggs and 7 slices of ham to themselves.

candycoatedwaterdrops Mon 16-Dec-13 15:12:12

That so many people live where there are pavements are so covered in dog shit, you cannot take one single step without stepping in it. Now, I'm not saying that some pavements are not covered in dog crap but there are so many places?

GoldenGytha Mon 16-Dec-13 15:13:41

I don't drink alcohol, and never had it in the house when the DC were younger, even they at 22, 20 and 19 don't really drink or have it in the house.

I cared about reading bands/levels, have toxic parents.

We all write thank you letters, and someone mentioned non drivers earlier,

I dont drive and neither do any of my DC.

Oh and people get all het up on here about any female over 16 being referred to as "girls" insisting they're "women"

No one I know, and I certainly don't refer to them as such, they're girls (and I include my own 2 DDs in this) til about age 30!

HoneyStepMummy Mon 16-Dec-13 15:15:55

And more more thing- like another poster stated why does everyone claim not to have a tumble dryer??

fatlazymummy Mon 16-Dec-13 15:17:13

I'm a non-driver, and I know quite a few others ,as well.

TheBigJessie Mon 16-Dec-13 15:20:33

The best example I read of judgey pants was the poster who dared suggest that cold garlic bread and chips wasn't the best lunch for one of the nursery children she had observed that day and did anyone agree.

Well of course no one agreed and the consensus was she should wind her middle class neck in and keep the cuntibg hell out.

I would be very interested to read what her replies would have been had she posted that she had sent her daughter into nursery with a cold Bhuna from the local takeaway because the DMwas late that morning and did anyone think that was wrong? I imagine she would have been hung up for it.

Yes, I saw that thread, and it was... odd, to say the least.

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 15:24:56

Yes I saw that thread and agreed it wasn't a great lunch. But I knew better than to get involved in it.

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 15:28:47

monicalewinski you let your 11 year old out alone?? grin

fcek totally on you about moon cups. have made an effort to ask every single friend and work colleague ' have you ever had or ever used a mooncup?' and no one had either heard of it seen one.

apostrophise???? who gives a fuck.

AdmiralData Mon 16-Dec-13 15:29:52

I know 3 people in RL who actually care, ALOT about bf/ff. I'm not one of them.
(One told me I absolutely SHOULD breastfeed like she does and not 'shove crap down C throat') Another told me it was absolutely disgusting as breasts are sexual in nature. (Whollleeeeee other thread there). The third is 'BREASTFEEDING IS BEST but do as you please as you will never compare to use supermummys'.

Wouldn't give my son yesterdays takeaway for school dinner as husband will inevitably not have left any.

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 15:32:48

Admiral yes to be fair I do remember a loony acquaintance who banged in about how everyone SHOULD bf but assume such people are best shunned as clearly deranged.

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Dec-13 15:54:44

Fruit shoots (occasional), McDonalds and telly as a (temporary) babysitter. They are all widely indulged in in RL - I would get nothing done at all without the Peppa Pig DVDs.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:01:05

Dorothy not sure about you but I don't consider google to be my RL. Again in my RL you never hear the phrase benefit bashing.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:01:28

Dorothy not sure about you but I don't consider google to be my RL. Again in my RL you never hear the phrase benefit bashing.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:02:20

Excuse double posts. Grrr iPhones.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:08:04

oh ffs benefit bashing is a tabloid term


randomAXEofkindness Mon 16-Dec-13 16:10:15

One person eating an omelette with 4 eggs and 7 slices of ham to themselves.

I could polish that off, no problemo.

Everyone I know hates their inlaws.

I go all in for most of the stuff mentioned. I talk like a bit of a worthy bastard in rl as well though. I might be an arse, but I'm an arse with integrity.

I did see someone slagging off an op for putting an apple in a packed lunch - too sugery. What a piss-take. Everyone I know/see/hear of in rl feeds their kids shite. Only on mn do people balk at the sugar content of a friggin apple.

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:11:25

Dorothy not sure about you but I don't consider google to be my RL. Again in my RL you never hear the phrase benefit bashing.

Oh dear. My point was that if you google the term, you will see that it is used in a wide range of media and by a wide range of people from lots of different walks of life. You said it wasn't heard a lot in "RL". Maybe you don't hear it, but I do, and clearly so do a lot of others.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:11:41

*Does anyone else actually (literally) wince sometimes when they read an opening post and know that in a matter of minutes the gates if he'll set going to (metaphorically) open and they are going to be ripped to shreds until they are gibbering wrecks?

Sometimes I find myself muttering flee flee, save yourself, think of the children for god sake*

Yes I do. Brilliant. Ha ha ha ha

DadOnIce Mon 16-Dec-13 16:12:10

Those paint names - JonahWhite, Mizzle, BallGreen, ElephantsBreathe - could be the nicknames of mumsnet posters smile

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:13:29

Dorothy seriously I think we can drop it now.

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 16:14:10

people who always add ' but I am a little but OCD on cleaning.

it's a stealth boast in how clean their house is to complete strangers who don't give a crap and you are not OCD!!!

DorothyParker1 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:19:05

Dorothy seriously I think we can drop it now.

Another MN pet hate: poster writes an obtuse response, and when you point out that they have posted an obtuse response, decides they've had enough and can smugly tell you what/when to post. Jog on.

LittlePeaPod Mon 16-Dec-13 16:21:18

grin ha ha ha ha

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:23:18



FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 16-Dec-13 16:25:24

Thankfully I don't know anyone in RL who uses wanky phrases like "competitive SN kids" wink

GastonIsAKnob Mon 16-Dec-13 16:25:29

I love the phrase jog on grin

Beeyump Mon 16-Dec-13 16:28:54

I have never heard anyone say 'Fanfuckingtastic' in real life. Shame.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:29:50

i tell you what always gets a snigger
People havent heard it for years.
My phone even recognises it now.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:31:15

How can SAHM's be a myth confused

I'm a SAHM. I'm real. I exist. Here I am! I'm not a fecking unicorn. Why is SAHM such a weird thing to believe.

Didn't know I was being (silently, and isn't it always silently?) judged for FF my dc/feeding them out of jars/giving them a Fruit Shoot/putting them in a character t-shirt/weaning them with cocaine* until I came on here. I stupidly thought no one actually gave a shit about bollocks that because it's no one else's bloody business. Turns out I'm a shit parent though - who knew grin

I've had more than one pushchair - guilty grin. But only because the bus we used to get was older than I am (completely true!) and you couldn't wheel your pushchair on, so I needed a one-hand fold, which the travel system wasn't.

*one of these isn't true, but I'll leave it up to you to work out which one...

susiedaisy Mon 16-Dec-13 16:32:54

On MN there are people who can make a medium sized chicken feed a family of five for a week. And people who always buy their food first in a cafe and then wander round looking for a free table because it's impolite to get a table first .
In RL that chicken lasts one meal maybe two at a push and if there's more than one of you in your group someone always bagsys a table whilst the other person buys the food!

Beeyump Mon 16-Dec-13 16:36:56

People call their sons Cosmo, or Winston.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:37:07

Great thread!
I think that a lot has been mentioned.
I don't know:
People who have problem ILs
People who analyse every word,or who scrutinise envelopes to see how they are addressed and then take umbrage.
People who won't answer their door ( in daylight anyway)
People who don't want Christmas cards because they are 'messy'.
People who would prefer not to go to their child's school play.
People who have a bright articulate 2year old who can count, do jigsaws, recognise letters etc and worry that a school can't cope with them.
Families with visitors and children and a buggy who insist on everyone in the party queuing in a self service cafe and then getting annoyed with those who use common sense and get seats first, or at least park the children.
People who insist you take your shoes off in their house.
People who think that magic at Christmas is lying.
Children aged 11yrs who really believe in Father Christmas to the extent that they will be 'traumatised' to get the truth because they have never questioned the logistics.
People who would go to a wedding without taking or sending a present.
People who do any parenting with a label as in 'I am a UP parent' or anyone who would 'wear' their baby.
People who police visitors when they have a baby.
People who send their child to nursery and expect them to come out clean.
Anyone who has breast fed past 3years.

I expect there is more

I have been told to 'cheer up, it might never happen' when it had happened and my 6 yr old has been told to 'grow up' in a children's playground! ( by the mother of a 2 yr old who might have got a shock with her child 4 yrs on!) And I have seen countless rows about parking, especially outside schools.

NotYoMomma Mon 16-Dec-13 16:37:51

little girls called Claudia

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:38:16

Cross posted about the cafe susie!

Grennie Mon 16-Dec-13 16:40:53

There are plenty of people who insist visitors take shoes off, unfortunately.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 16:42:16

little girls called Claudia

Now surely this can't be considered strange.

Beeyump Mon 16-Dec-13 16:43:57

I know a little girl called Claudia! How unintentionally MN of me, cool grin

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 16:44:12

I have just had an LOL at SatinSandal's post.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:45:38

I lie- I know one house where I have to take my shoes off.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:46:23

I also know one house where the grandchildren are not allowed beyond the kitchen!

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:47:47

I would say people who don't let their children out of their sight until they're 18 and starting university, but then my friend wrote on Facebook about being 'proud of her daughter for getting the bus home (from secondary school!) without getting lost confused.

Have we covered people who still organise their offspring's 'playdates' when they're in secondary school?

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 16:49:07

Do they do that, Heartbroken? Really?!

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:49:27

The mn world is just humor for me. I don't really know any of the people or issues described. The real world is so much nicer.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:50:17

Just been inspired by another thread:

People who still insist on saying how many years and months their child is one they're past 3.

Your child is not 6.3 - your child is 6. How long do these parents keep adding the months?

That would make my dc - 12.1, 8.11 and 5.4 - which just looks stupid!

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:50:21

i never get a table first

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:50:57

Satin - which bit of my post do you mean?

Elucidate ye!

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:50:57

god yes i hate the years and months thing

or how old their kid is next birthday
"she is three in june"

right. so she is 2 then

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:51:29

Hanne - I've just laughed really loudly at that!

sebsmummy1 Mon 16-Dec-13 16:54:57

We've just had new cream carpet laid throughout (50oz 80/20 with 11mm underlay) stealth boast grin So all you cat-shit-smeared bastards with excrement coated shoes can absolutely take your shoes off before entering. Thanking you.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 16-Dec-13 16:56:28

People who actually think Ella's pouches are superior to jars

They bloody well are.

You cannot take a jar remove the lid put it on its side and punch it with the same amusing results unless you are hard as fuck and don't mind a shredded hand

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 16:56:53

I've never actually met anyone so up tight that removing shoes is offensive. Most people I know are perfectly normal and remove them automatically grin

Weller Mon 16-Dec-13 16:57:50

Primary and secondary families, so you are in your parents primary family but once you have kids they are relegated to your secondary family. Never heard this language in real life.

HanneHolm Mon 16-Dec-13 16:58:39

i never have till now

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 17:00:15


Greensleeves Mon 16-Dec-13 17:00:59

I have an 11yo who believes in Santa

but then, he has competitive SN Aspergers and is gullible

so up yer flaps! grin

Greensleeves Mon 16-Dec-13 17:01:57

primary family hmm

is there a tertiary family?

randomAXEofkindness Mon 16-Dec-13 17:02:16

I insist my inlaws take their shoes off, but that's because they're toxic and I hate them (true story). Hang on, I think I'm on to something...

randomAXEofkindness Mon 16-Dec-13 17:05:19

Me and dh say fanfuckingtasic all the time. I thought we made it up.

ViviPru Mon 16-Dec-13 17:13:25

Can someone please link me to where Elf on the Shelf has been mentioned because I haven't come across reference to it on MN at all, and I'm curious to see if my (obsessed with it) RL friend has been the catalyst of someones E-o-t-S rage....

complexnumber Mon 16-Dec-13 17:13:46

There was an OP recently that basically was asking what filling they should have in their Subway sarnie (sorry if that irritates anyone)

People have to refer to a Discussion website to be advised on what your sandwich filling should be!

And other people were replying!!!!

complexnumber Mon 16-Dec-13 17:24:58

People who type things such as "As a rule, I will have killed the thread by entering this post"

(Self fulfilling prophecy? Please.....)

Absy Mon 16-Dec-13 17:25:02

"do you mean to be so rude". Really? Given the chance you'd use that rather than "stop being such an arse" or "oh just fuck off"?

Come on. Please.

Ragwort Mon 16-Dec-13 17:28:58

All the angst about religion - 'I am furious, my child is expected to say a prayer at school', who shall I complain to? shock.I never come across this in R/L. Everyone I know is desperate to get their child into a faith school, loves all the church services, nativity plays, free Church activities etc etc.

The sort of meals Mumsnetters seem to have routinely - grilled sea bass with sauteed mediteranean vegetables followed by freshly poached white peaches - surely most people have fish fingers & chips followed by a yogurt on weekday nights grin.

The Style & Beauty threads 'shall I spend £500 on a handbag', 'what do you wear on the school run' and other similar crap - never hear this sort of thing in RL.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 17:42:52

People who are routinely late for school or anything. Not one person I know who has a baby struggles that much to get a baby grow and coat on and strap them into a pram and wAlk to the school.

People who can't leave their 13 year olds home fir two hours with a yogurt and packet if biscuits incase they die of hunger in the short time you are gone.

People with children who drink gallons of milk a day and think that's a good thing.

Nancy66 Mon 16-Dec-13 17:46:36

Never seen these public transport bullies who push little old ladies and pregnant women out of the way to bag a seat.

Don't know anyone who is a school gate bitch or who has been on the receiving end of school mum bitchiness.

Have never encountered women who start imagining that their partners have been horribly murdered or mangled when they go to the shops and are 10 mins longer than they should be.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 17:49:42

You should my kids new school Giles.

This is no exaggeration: roughly three quarters of DS2's class are late every day. Seriously. I've never seen such a poor attitude to timekeeping. There was a letter sent out before half-term about being on time - hasn't made a jot of difference.

When DS goes into the classroom in the morning, there are four or five others who go in too. The rest of the class are trundling in with their parents as they (the parents) please, no sense of urgency or anything. Quite a few of the parents are still standing around gassing on the playground or by the gates 5 or 10 minutes after the door has happened, while their kids are still running around.

I'm so used to it now I'm not even shocked anymore.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 17:50:37

Ooooh, I've also seen many a playground bust-up between Mums! This was at our previous school in a naice area.

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 17:51:22

Admiral yes to be fair I do remember a loony acquaintance who banged in about how everyone SHOULD bf but assume such people are best shunned as clearly deranged.

Yes I assume that too also anyone who harps on about what other people should be doing regarding how they run their own households, who works and how long they intend to stay at home for. Whatever way they do things is clearly the only correct way...

I presume they go online to get an audience because people in RL make excuses to get away from them grin

DeckTheHallsWithBoughsOfHorry Mon 16-Dec-13 18:20:43

Beeyump I had a lecture at university that covered infixes demonstrated by such words as fanfuckingtastic. The lecturer explained quite solemnly that this phenomenon only really happens in English in profanities, but how terribly linguistically significant that is grin You'd have loved it.

needaholidaynow Mon 16-Dec-13 18:33:36

How stepmums are meant to think, feel, act. Before I came on MN I just went with the flow but now that I've seen so much shit on here (apparently DSD is my "first born") I'm very paranoid.

mintberry Mon 16-Dec-13 19:01:05

I once saw someone on MN launching a long, moralising attack another poster for mentioning putting the washing out while her I think 6 year old was watching the telly inside because "what if a bee got in and stung him!" You what.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 19:04:04

Are you serious mint shock

Sometimes I wonder how people are still alive because they can't leave anything long enough to breathe

Geckos48 Mon 16-Dec-13 19:04:44

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question.

Well, that's the achilles heel of politics, isn't it?

Oh my goodness, Friday you have just made me wee a little bit...

mintberry Mon 16-Dec-13 19:05:44

needaholiday Yes, that tends to go full circle in my experience.

Stage 1: You do nice things for your SC, you are happy and they are happy.
Stage 2: Enter Mumsnet, become shocked and defensive at the assumption that you are assumed to be a cancerous bitch.
Stage 3: Become alarmed that you really are a cancerous bitch!?
Stage 4: Stop caring, return to stage 1.

mintberry Mon 16-Dec-13 19:06:54

whoops, no need for that second 'assumed' ^

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 19:07:10

Satin - which bit of my post do you mean?

The bit that parents of secondary pupils still arrange play dates. I thought that I had heard it all on MN and couldn't be surprised, but obviously not!

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 19:10:14

I have an 11 year old and I still have to sort out his playdates (sigh). I worry about him. He never leaves the house alone unless I force him to.

Bowlersarm Mon 16-Dec-13 19:12:43

Play dates arranged here as well, until aged 11/12.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 19:16:44

Glad I'm not the only one.

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 19:19:42

I once saw someone on MN launching a long, moralising attack another poster for mentioning putting the washing out while her I think 6 year old was watching the telly inside because "what if a bee got in and stung him!"

I hate hysterical parenting, and people who try to suck you into it.

I told my MIL that my 8 year old got a water bottle and how adorable I thought it was that he must have it for bed every night like an old man. She said "waterbottles are dangerous! They can BURN you! What if it opens!" blah blah blah blah and basically just made me want to kill her.

I came home and told my husband and we LOL'd for a good long while.

ThisIsMyRealChristmasName Mon 16-Dec-13 19:23:31

People who micro-manage their childrens diets to such an extent that they refuse to let them have so much as a sniff of refined sugar until they hit their teens and then erupt in fury when a grandparent dares to give 4 year old DC a packet of chocolate buttons.

Continuing with the food theme, people who are horrified at the idea of cooking frozen yorkshire puds/ roast potatoes/etc and seem to think they are somehow 'lesser.' They taste perfectly fine ffs and there's nothing wrong withndoing things the easy way sometimes.

And thinking that a gift list for a wedding is somehow entitled or grabby. It's normal surely? fconfused

Beeyump Mon 16-Dec-13 19:24:54

DeckTheHalls - I would have adored that!

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 19:28:08

who fucking actually says play dates??? stop right now! far too twee!!!

bluecheeseforbreakfast Mon 16-Dec-13 19:28:56

I am very confused as to what you can and can't use in terms of adjectives when talking about a disability. Is it right that you can't say "my autistic son" but you can say "my son who has autism" is the same true for all things, can you say "my dyslexic cousin" or "my spanish friend"?

Crowler Mon 16-Dec-13 19:29:45

It's horrible isn't it?

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 19:34:33

how the fuck do you 'wear a baby?'

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 19:34:47

And the ones who moan because a child has a birthday and gives out a few sweets at the end of the day at school.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 19:38:53

how the fuck do you 'wear a baby?'

They treat them like a handbag! It is a term used on MN rather than carrying a baby in a sling. It goes with 'attachment parenting'- another ridiculous term!

RayPurchase Mon 16-Dec-13 19:47:24

"Red Herrings" Fuck OFF Sherlock.

daisychain01 Mon 16-Dec-13 19:47:34

So, so true mintberry the 4 Stages of DSM.

After being on MN only a matter of weeks, I found myself feeling guilty at the realisation that I tell DSS that I love him and hug him back when he puts his arms round me - how very dare I I'm a cancerous bitch who ought to be ashamed of myself, I should be aloof, cold and detached in case my DSS gets awwwwwl confused.

Stage 4 did become Stage 1 pronto grin

cantbelievemyeyes Mon 16-Dec-13 19:49:29

Love the idea of carrying baby in a sling and plan to give it a go when the time comes. Hate the phrase 'baby wearing' though. Immediately picture a naked mother draped in nothing but a couple of kiddies, in the style of a sandwich board.

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 20:09:24


Well, it obviously goes on (as two posters have testified!) but it was more that there was a thread about two boys at secondary school who were friends, but the OP was still talking about her son and his 'playdates', like they were about 5.

I've never used the term to begin with, but for 12 year olds? My DD has just turned 12 - she would laugh in my face if I referred to her going to a friend's as a 'playdate'!

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 20:15:37

satin yes agree wearing a baby and attached parenting bloody daft phrases. what's unattached parenting?

I suppose the cold ones who have a cot, pram and 'HOLY FUCK bottle feed.

if you are British using term play date is wankerish.

desertmum Mon 16-Dec-13 20:22:47

I had never heard of a mooncup and had to google it - I would actually need a moonbucket when my period starts - it's like Niagara Falls - no thanks - and yes I think it's wierd

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 20:23:49

Quite right daisychain- you must have nothing to do with him and can never see him without his father and never tell him what to do in your house! (Where do these people live?hmm You are nothing to him, merely his father's wife!

thebody Mon 16-Dec-13 20:29:00

desertmum moon bucket grin lovely

arethereanyleftatall Mon 16-Dec-13 20:29:16

Love this thread. At last all the normal people together.
Agree with all the above.

puntasticusername Mon 16-Dec-13 20:31:01

People who get all sneery when you talk about a child's father "babysitting". "You don't babysit your own children, dear".


arethereanyleftatall Mon 16-Dec-13 20:31:46

Oh, what about the poster incandescent with rage where her ds was excluded from school Christmas nativity, who then went on to say on page 4 she's told the school to not involve him in any religious activity.....

lljkk Mon 16-Dec-13 20:33:57

People who can genuinely say that they have never done anything violent or shameful.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 20:33:59

I loved that thread! She withdrew him from anything religious and was raging because she couldn't watch him on stage!

harticus Mon 16-Dec-13 20:40:13

a cancerous bitch

Something I have only ever seen on MN and never in RL is the use of "cancerous" as a pejorative adjective.

As someone with cancer I would really love someone to describe to me exactly what this term means.

My friend that recently died of this disease and left her 11 year old son was she a "cancerous bitch" too?

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 16-Dec-13 20:41:22

I know someone who loved all the Nativity stuff and didn't bat an eyelid but threw a major strop at Easter because how dare the school teach her son about Jesus!

HoneyStepMummy Mon 16-Dec-13 20:53:37

Last year on Mother's Day a stepmum who was raising her teenage stepkid with her DH was upset when she didn't get a card or gift. She was told that the SC "has a mum, and you're not it". She was also told not to "ruin SC's mum's special day" and she wasn't the kid's mother, just a "woman who happens to live in DH's house". Luckily the stepmum did end up getting a card and gift so it ended well...and no it wasn't me..

BigChocolateOrange Mon 16-Dec-13 20:59:22

People getting excited about finding shopping lists. I feel like it was a joke that was funny once but now people say it to try and make out they're one of the cool kids.

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 16-Dec-13 21:01:33


I know a "shoes off in my house" type. He's probably the biggest twat I have ever met. Also my not so dear brother in law.

I don't the "what nickname can we give our baby?" stuff. I mean, what the fuck?

People who never judge anybody ever and all those who do will burn for eternity in the fiery pits of hell. I judge people all the time, split second snap judgements. We all do it. Why lie?

TirAnna Mon 16-Dec-13 21:19:42

Love this thread. At last all the normal people together.


Has anyone mentioned how if someone has an unpopular opinion they're clearly A Man shock yet?

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:26:56

Posters being advised their partners family is the partners responsibility and then they can't understand why the il don't like them. Horrible advice.

SugarHut Mon 16-Dec-13 21:31:41

Wanky, creepy, overkill Elf on the Shelf. Back in the box of plastic Christmas tat with you!!

Whistleblower0 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:33:10

Oh there are loads of them, and they have mostly been covered already.
I have a few favourites though that make me laugh out load,- doesn't matter how many times i read them!

Precious flowers complaining that somebody took the p&c parking space, and they didn't have a child with them, and it should be a hanging offencesmile ditto, pregnant women on public transport expecting other passangers to give up their seats, no matter what the circumstances are.

mothers who never go out to socialise, cos they cant bear to leave their kids with anyone else for a couple of hours. This usually includes the father.fsmile

The endless introspection and naval gazing about BF. No women i know gives a fuck how other women feed their child.
Anyone who calls a child a brat will be immediately pounced upon, and asked to consider that they probably have an SN, and they must be able to do what they like because of said sn or even an sn that hasn't yet been diagnosed.

'spirited' children.hmm

The posters who think drinking a a few glasses lf wine a week is seriously decadent, not to mention life threathing..

And last but not least, the endless chicken dinners, y know, i can make a chicken last a whole week and feed a family of 6. They are seriously funny.
None of it resembles real life at all, but i guess that's why it's so entertaining.

Whistleblower0 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:35:22

Oh how could i forget, the posters who think that because they are pregnant, and cant drink/go out, that the husband partner must not eithergrin

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 16-Dec-13 21:42:19

What IS Elf on a Shelf?!

pianodoodle Mon 16-Dec-13 21:43:30

Oh, what about the poster incandescent with rage where her ds was excluded from school Christmas nativity, who then went on to say on page 4 she's told the school to not involve him in any religious activity.....

Oh yes wasn't that the "fumming" one? grin

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 16-Dec-13 21:43:48

I wish people would stop sneering about people who mention SN.

People mention it because in their actual lives they get grief from people because their child is behaving perhaps in a bratty manner to the casual onlooker but it's because they have SN and are stressed.

It matters to people.

Yet people in the enormously privileged position of having NT kids feel they can sneer at those who mention SN and treat it like an enormous laugh.


notquitenormal Mon 16-Dec-13 21:52:25

I am genuinely shocked by people who scorn baked beans because they are 'junk food.' I mean really? really?

Sure if you don't actually like them...but beans are a staple. It's rocket fuel for five-year-olds, surely? As is custard and fish fingers.

Whistleblower0 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:54:23

The posters who insist that their child is being indoctrinated because they sang a hymn or said a prayer at a school assembly, and they are atheists, and so shouldn't have this evil foisted upon themgrin

2Tinsellytocare Mon 16-Dec-13 22:02:45

People who say they are traumatised by being put on the naughty step as a child, MN is the only place I've ever heard of this.

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 22:17:04

and she wasn't the kid's mother, just a "woman who happens to live in DH's house"

This is typical! I want to shout, 'no she isn't, she is a woman who is going to have a relationship with the child for life, she will be at his wedding, she will be step grandmother, her parents, aunts, siblings, dog and all will have important relationships with the child'-if she and the child get on well together-which they most probably will. It is her house, her rules and she will often be in the house without the DH!

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 22:19:31

Love this thread. At last all the normal people together

grin. (sometimes you wonder where they have gone!)

SatinSandals Mon 16-Dec-13 22:21:41

I agree with all yours Whistleblower!

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 16-Dec-13 22:25:06

People who never make the link between their 2/3 yr old drinking three pints of milk a day and the fact that they forever have the shits and never eat their dinner.


fatlazymummy Mon 16-Dec-13 22:42:48

People who think sandwiches are 'sad' and somehow unsuitable for lunch or tea.
I eat sandwiches every day, so do other people that I know.

desertmum Mon 16-Dec-13 22:48:53

people who whisk their kids to the doctor at the first sniff . . . .

lessonsintightropes Mon 16-Dec-13 23:23:45

We asked for specific honeymoon things as our gift list (but didn't include the list in the invites)... wear shoes in the house and wouldn't ask someone to take them off; routinely drink a bit on some weeknights; don't give a toss about BF/FFing; and I can make a chicken last for three meals (roast, curry then soup). I think Mooncups sound hideous!

I am not sure whether this makes me a normal person or a MN typical thinker fgrin

Mushypeasandchipstogo Mon 16-Dec-13 23:34:37

Yes never ever heard of anybody in RL using moon cups and everybody I know with a bastard mirena loves it!

lade Tue 17-Dec-13 01:10:50

I love the Christmas topic, but I do get amused by some of the threads on there.

Elf on a shelf. I have never seen one of those bloody things - what the hell are they !?!

Competitive underspending, I know it has been raised lots of times, but well it is just so common to spend loads of Christmas, and of course everyone who does are automatically getting themselves into loads of debt, and are terribly irresponsible. I am quite sure the "spenders" have never heard of saving.blush

I always wonder why people get worked up about how many presents other people's children are going to get at Christmas. Does it really matter? They're never going to meet your children. Some children will get more presents than yours and others less....

Those who maintain that Christmas trees have to look awful colourful or they just aren't Christmassy. Like, without tinsel it will just be soulless / department store etc. what utter bollocks. There is nothing more festive in the eclectic mix of colours than having a more limited range, except in the mind of those who think it! Just because some people think it, doesn't make it true. (The argument works the other way too, of course)

People who give a flying fuck what anyone else's tree looks like. When did we get the Christmas tree police, who started insisting that Christmas trees have to be colourful / tasteful / tacky etc..? I have never heard anyone in real life arguing over how a tree should look. Who actually cares, and if you do care about what other people do with their trees / decorations, perhaps (in the best possible way) you need to get a life. We all have individual tastes, of what we think looks nice - that's what makes the world go round. There is no one way of doing it.

That said, the topic is great for sharing ideas, I'd be lost without it grin

Leavenheath Tue 17-Dec-13 01:51:49

I've seen loads of things mentioned here in RL. And when I come across something I haven't, if enough posters are saying or experiencing the same things, I'm more likely to think it happens in RL too but people don't talk about it.

For example, it's unlikely a male work colleague will fess up to being a lazy arse whose wife needs to write instructions for him to wipe his own arse, or that he's a porn hound who's so addicted he can't get it up anymore with said exhausted and pissed-off wife, but there are enough men like that described on this site to convince me they certainly aren't imaginary.

If only.

Furthermore, I genuinely haven't met any stepford wives who call their partners 'hubby', think that women should do all the housework/ parenting, that horrendous male behaviour is just 'boys being boys' and that any woman who objects to her partner going to a sex club on a night out is ^controlling, paranoid or jealous^- but they are in our midst and represented in huge numbers here.

This is the real snapshot of life I think. In RL it gets edited.

GoshAnneGorilla Tue 17-Dec-13 04:25:37

Someone on here once claimed that she had friends who were from the aristocracy and they thought the Royal Family were a bit common. Only on Mumsnet.

BohemianGirl Tue 17-Dec-13 04:50:22

People with children who drink gallons of milk a day and think that's a good thing.

We clear at least 60 pints a week between 5 of us ....this is bad?

There are loads more that wind me up but I'd be banned for going against the mainstream and being very very non-PC

BohemianGirl Tue 17-Dec-13 04:51:32

Someone on here once claimed that she had friends who were from the aristocracy and they thought the Royal Family were a bit common

Princess Michael?

learnasyougo Tue 17-Dec-13 06:41:54

wow, I fit many of these never in RL things. mooncup using, no tumble dryer (never had one) non driving etc. I'm not weird really. I assume many other people live like I do.
And that's the thing. our social circles are more restricted than mn is. Where else do you see the range of income to be 12k to 200k? People DO make a chicken last more than a meal (because they have to. We get 4 dinners and 2 soup portions out of one) people DO have fears about what to buy in Lidl (seeing the band wagon but being a bit scared about jumping on). I don't know anyone in RL who employs a nanny, but I don't then conclude that's not RL. For some people, it's a perfectly normal thing to do. Not in my circles, but still normal.

but what IS elf on a shelf??

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 06:51:02

I had to ask about an elf on a shelf, apparently it is a little doll that arrives in Dec 1st and moves around the house doing things to amuse the children- that was the explanation I was given.
I remember the aristocracy one, every so often she gathered herself up and hinted that she was rather grand in the past. I remember her saying 'think Mitfords'.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 06:58:47

I looked it up, she said they could give the Mitfords a run for their money and she came from a family who thought the Royal family were a bit MIF, it was lost on me, not having worked out what MIF was.
The same person said that she refused to say toilet or serviette.

SatinSandals Tue 17-Dec-13 07:02:00

I also had to have the 'Christmas Eve' hamper explained to me.
In RL I have never had anyone care two hoots about someone else's Christmas traditions, whereas on MN it is almost 'pistols at dawn'!

Ragwort Tue 17-Dec-13 07:08:05

What about the absolute hysteria if people have more than one glass of wine (even more shocking if they are pregnant) - most people I know in RL drink moderately - it's not a crime, it's a pleasant thing to do. People getting obsessed about what will happen to their unborn child if they have half a glass of champagne; how will they get the children to hospital in the unlikely event of an accident hmm.

I am not referring to alcoholism, just the views towards 'social drinking' that you see on Mumsnet grin.

Crowler Tue 17-Dec-13 07:13:34

I remember the thread about the Royal Family being common, I think it was more specifically that none of the extremely smart/posh families would want their daughters paired off with Prince Harry because he's common?

BohemianGirl Tue 17-Dec-13 07:14:25

Who are all these non drinkers ? According to the press, all the 'mummies' are necking wine every night by the bucket load grin. I have no idea what the 'daddies' are doing, under curfew and waving the bog brush round whilst wearing marigolds I presume

greenfolder Tue 17-Dec-13 07:18:32

I had never heard of an elf on a shelf until last year.this year someone is posting a daily photo of theirs on face book.

fatlazymummy Tue 17-Dec-13 07:39:34

People that are religious / go to church. I don't know any in real life but it seems quite common on mumsnet.
Concerning kids drinking milk - I've never heard of that being associated with childhood obesity. It's one of the things I was brought up on.

lisianthus Tue 17-Dec-13 08:13:53

Grownups who drink until they vomit/pass out/lose control of bodily functions. I don't know anyone who does this in real life, but I've come across a few threads on MN where the husband does this and the wife is accused of being unreasonable if she objects.

Women who take over all correspondence with their parents in law such as cards, present buying etc, because it is too much of a drag for their DP to spend a couple of minutes buying and writing a card for his mum. Maybe I know a lot of men with really good relationships with their families, but DH, for instance, really enjoys trying to think of a Christmas present each of his parents will like.

lisianthus Tue 17-Dec-13 08:15:01

And if he didn't, tbh, I wouldn't want to encourage him to neglect his folks by taking it on myself.

Whistleblower0 Tue 17-Dec-13 08:29:21

What about the absoloute hysteria if people have more than one glass of wine

This! Posters competing with each other on who drinks the least. Most people i know irl drink moderately, and actually enjoy it. There's a thingshock

Icelollycraving Tue 17-Dec-13 08:36:17

The competitive weddings that cost 2p and were the best day anyone had ever had. Spending what you can afford or have saved for their wedding is their choice,it's their sodding day!!

autumnsmum Tue 17-Dec-13 08:44:03

People who can quote verbatim every UNICEF recommendation about ff

shineypeacock Tue 17-Dec-13 08:53:17