to want to piss in a potty...

(47 Posts)
trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 00:46:43

Ok so I haven't done this but I'm a night Pee'r, sometimes 2/3 times in one night. I drink alot of water. I can no longer be arsed getting out of bed, putting dressing gown on, opening door quietly so not to wake anyone, creeping down hallway, putting light on to lowest dimmer setting so don't feel like having anal smear done, and then repeating in reverse. I want a potty to pee in or an adult nappy. Anyone else sick of having to do ninja-pees?

reelingaroundthechristmastree Mon 09-Dec-13 01:09:03

Yup, me too.
The gazunder, not the nappy.

Mind you I have never had an anal smear so I don't get that bit!

Bogeyface Mon 09-Dec-13 01:16:08

My sister has no kids, a DH who often works nights and a downstairs bathroom in a large house. The gazunder is her friend! Mum saw a posh ceramic one in a charity shop and bought it for her to replace the bucket she had been using!

ShylaMcClaus Mon 09-Dec-13 01:16:50

Can you not just stumble out of bed naked, pee and get back to sleep?

Bogeyface Mon 09-Dec-13 01:17:00

Should add, I dont get the anal smear thing either, or why the lighting level is relevant to that! grin

reelingaroundthechristmastree Mon 09-Dec-13 01:18:22

Downstairs bathrooms are the pits.

We had one at my Mum's, bloody nightmare when I was young.

I have a pot to piss in. My husband thinks I am gross but I need to pee often and I wake up too much going downstairs. I keep wet wipes by it. Remember not that long ago it was perfectly normal.

ShylaMcClaus Mon 09-Dec-13 01:18:58

Me neither. What is an anal smear and the appropriate lighting conditions and should we all be getting them?

Bogeyface Mon 09-Dec-13 01:19:50

Shyla she could.

Where she would pee is another issue entirely, we could be into "he peed in the wardrobe" territory grin

I have weed in a potty several times for demo purposes recently (am potty training DS) and its quite comfortable if you are reasonably flexible and tidy of arse but the average adult sized amount of wee in a toddler potty means you risk bum crack and flap splash back.

I'd get a chamber pot, from an antique store and try not to stub your toe on it in the dark.

ShylaMcClaus Mon 09-Dec-13 01:20:57

Oh I see, Bogeyface - I think.

ShylaMcClaus Mon 09-Dec-13 01:21:34

"Tidy of arse" fgrin

Bogeyface Mon 09-Dec-13 01:21:42

I have a pot to piss in Flying, my sister says this!

She says "Whatever happens, I will always be able to say that I do have a pot to piss in" grin

Bogeyface Mon 09-Dec-13 01:23:43

WTF is "tidy of arse"?! grin

Are we talking size? Or the ability to not splatter a back bum explosion? Or peeing to target? I never knew I needed to know this until now! grin

80sMum Mon 09-Dec-13 01:23:50

We had one under the bed in every bedroom when I was little. It was quite the norm back then.

trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 01:29:57

Very glad to hear that this is something plausible! Naked stumbling not an option as have extended family living in attic and could lead to uncomfortable bump in the night!

Clarity on anal smear, swabs I had taken for IBD and Chrones, nothing to add to your own routine unless you're up for the thrill of it.

Think I'll start researching gazunders tomorrow. What do you recommend putting at the bottom to stop sloshing sounds waking light-sleeper DP?

I would say all three bogey, haunch circumference that can fit on toddler potty, ability to fart without following through, pelvic floor control to wee on target and lock down midstream if the potty starts to get dangerously full. All whilst being observed by a crotch-clutching cross-legged cross toddler and probably half the neighbours through the windows as the potty is in the sitting room.

I do a lot of Pilates and barre exercises as post DS with his 98th centile head and a pregnancy in which I broke world records for carrot cake consumption there were a few years when my arse, and entire pelvic region were untidy in the extreme.

trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 01:34:02

ooops forgot to say they had a VERY bright light on when working down there. I felt like a NE mining town by the time he finished.

trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 01:38:16

Haha Trucks I just woke DP up laughing at your comment! Lucky neighbours!

reelingaroundthechristmastree Mon 09-Dec-13 01:38:46

Well, I suppose it's best they can see what they are doing. hmm

RealAleandOpenFires Mon 09-Dec-13 03:52:16

litter tray anyone blush?

ZingSweetPea Mon 09-Dec-13 04:37:40

what about a bedpan?

paxtecum Mon 09-Dec-13 06:54:49

Put the potty on the landing outside the bedroom door.

(Unless the DCs are likely to fall into it in the morning.)

girlywhirly Mon 09-Dec-13 09:36:22

What about a commode disguised as a bedroom chair? Usually have a plastic pot which will hold a good quantity, comfy to sit on, seat lid goes down after to keep smells enclosed, ideal!

trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 15:34:45

Cheers for the suggestions! For those of your who have stated they also avoid bathroom treks I have a few question. I'm worried that if I wake DP whilst piddling into a bathpan et al he will be totally grossed out! I can imagine the moonlight coming through highlighting my fat arse ass I squat down beside the bed!

I'm only thinking of this bathroom avoidance as I wake myself up so much going to the toilet that I struggle to get back to sleep. Light and difficult sleeper as it is! As for leaving it outside not an option as have 35 year old family member and his fiance living in our attic room temporarily and they have to walk past our room. That said, a footfull of my bladder juice would teach them for never doing any cleaning and slowing down my Internet with their constant downloading. Hmmmm maybe I could sneak a log in too grin

AnotherWorld Mon 09-Dec-13 15:38:42

YABU

Nothing anyone else has said will convince me otherwise. Drink less water, kick out your attic lodgers, wear bigger PJs. Do not buy a potty. Eek.

trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 16:01:24

Anotherworld, would you or DP pee in anything but the toilet? I know friend who won't pee anywhere but a toilet which had caused alot of fuss whilst at festivals or on long country rambles. I was at uni my boyfriend used to piss in the sink in my room and into empty cock bottles as the bathroom was a cold 5 min walk away. I of course bleached it thoroughly and me ever used the sink for anything. Maybe I'm relaxed about it too much? I draw the line at pooing into the sink.

trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 16:02:37

coke bottles....oh dear.

SueDoku Mon 09-Dec-13 16:21:35

What about getting a metal waste bin and using that? Higher, so you won't need to crouch down as far - some loo roll in the bottom to avoid noise, and an old hand towel to drape over top to avoid smells....??

One tip - if you decide on this, fill with water first to check for leaks just don't ask how I know smile

AnotherWorld Mon 09-Dec-13 16:36:33

No. I haven't. And we go camping. Would rather walk across a field in the dark.

My boys pee in a bottle if we are caught short out and about. But they are 4 and 6.

magicstar1 Mon 09-Dec-13 16:46:28

We have downstairs toilets in our street, and my 82 year old neighbour recently got a small toilet and basin put in where a wardrobe would be. She said she had to cos she kept fallling off her bucket at night grin

2Tinsellytocare Mon 09-Dec-13 18:09:40

If you are going to wee in a potty at nightime (no judgement) you should warn DP, what if you looked up kidflow and he was awake staring down at you in horror

2Tinsellytocare Mon 09-Dec-13 18:09:58

Er midflow

ItsAWonderfulCervix Mon 09-Dec-13 18:14:55

When camping I have a gazunder.

It is a little flip top bin. Lined with a bin liner. With a large cheapy disposable nappy in the bottom.

It is an invention of genius.

Fleta Mon 09-Dec-13 18:15:27

Cock bottles. Best typo ever grin

SantyClaws Mon 09-Dec-13 18:16:39

This is why some bright spark came up with the idea of an ensuite, isn't it thank fuck

ItsAWonderfulCervix Mon 09-Dec-13 18:17:00

When camping I have a gazunder.

It is a little flip top bin. Lined with a bin liner. With a large cheapy disposable nappy in the bottom.

It is an invention of genius.

ItsAWonderfulCervix Mon 09-Dec-13 18:17:29

So good i posted twice.

Doingthedo Mon 09-Dec-13 18:18:44

I use my old nappy bucket when camping, it has a snug fitting lid and is nice and wide to accommodate my wide arse, have a in Mothercare or somewhere?

BMW6 Mon 09-Dec-13 18:20:14

Don't drink any fluids 2 hours before bed time - that should help

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 09-Dec-13 18:43:55

I've done this! We were living in a huge, damp, draughty and decidedly creepy Victorian house with a downstairs loo when I was PG with DD. I used to pee in a potty and tip it down the bedroom sink with some bleach.
Now I'm PG again and still have a downstairs loo I'm considering a chamber pot! Or possibly installing the porta potty we used when the bathroom was being renovated on the landing! blush

trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 23:09:08

well despite some objections I have decided to purchase a bed pan. DP will not be warned as with further thought I would love to see the horror on his face of he caught me mid flow. Might frighten him by telling him I think waters have broke and we're having a surprise baby!

Not drinking water is not an option I suffer from dehydration due to meds and have to drink water constantly so this is it. A bed pan at 30, cheers Mum!

If DP complains I'll just tell him he can have a 'cock bottle' grin

girlywhirly Tue 10-Dec-13 09:53:45

A drop of disinfectant in your bedpan will sort out any odours, truffle. Although you can get female adaptors for those male urine bottles like they have in hospitals.

lastnightopenedmyeyes Tue 10-Dec-13 09:56:49

Yes! I'm 34 wks pregnant with dc2 and our only bathroom is downstairs at the back of the house so I have to creep out of bedroom, down the stairs, into kitchen (where cats are shut in overnight and always waiting by the door to escape) and finally into freezing cold bathroom. Then repeat in reverse. If I wake DS he takes hours to resettle as he thinks it's 'morning time'. confused

ZombieMojaveWonderer Tue 10-Dec-13 10:04:52

Not for me I'm afraid. Can't stand the thought of my husband listening to me take a pee in a pot beside the bed!
I like to keep some things a mystery wink
I would also be grossed out having to empty the bloody thing. Makes me boak at the thought and knowing my luck a child would slam a door in my face while I was holding it smile

I can on very good authority tell you a toddler nappy will hold a full adult pee. My best friend (honestly not me) uses one when camping, just crouches down over it, then wraps up and bins it in the morning. A bit expensive if you need it every night though.

trufflesnuffler Thu 19-Dec-13 05:02:01

well I just had my first nin bathroom pee and DP didn't stir. I decided to go with the adult nappy suggestion (thank you) neatly tucked into a bedpan. Its silent, discreet and odourless, unlike DPs farts and snores. What a lovely picture I paint, I'm not a slob honestly! Best bit, no cold corridor, cold toilet seat or brightlights. I'm converted grin grin

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