To want a pleasing, calm, leafy, tasteful Christmas and not a nasty, flashy, dare I say a bit common, one?

(69 Posts)
ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:15:01

DH and DD2 have taken it upon themselves to put bright, flashing, coloured lights all over the tree out the front.

I had visions of a wee tree by the front door with clear, static lights.

It gets worse........

In the kitchen I have a nice dangly candle thing. I was going to entwine a bit of holly and ivy.

There are now more flashy lights around the TV.

And worse..................

I have some lovrly tasteful paper chains ready.

But there is tinsel draped around my bannistet.

Fucking Tinsel!!!!!

I could cry.

My dreams of taste and aesthetically pleasing festive decor are in tatters.

You can have it your way when the rugrats leave home

And then they'll complain that 'it's not like it used to be' and act all sad that you threw away their broken paper chains

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:19:49

And the f-ing dog is going to eat the tree. I know he will.


GideonKipper Sat 07-Dec-13 21:20:06

Gah. It's Christmas. Embrace the kitsch. You can have tasteful when the dc have moved out are too old to get excited about it all.

HoneyDragon Sat 07-Dec-13 21:21:09

You have fairy lights on the telly envy

Monetbyhimself Sat 07-Dec-13 21:23:37

My neighbour has not just ONE but THREE flashing LED monstrosities flashing on the lawn. Red, green and fucking PURPLE sad I may have to sew blackout fabric into my vair nice Laura Ashley curtains to block out the glare wink

HoneyDragon Sat 07-Dec-13 21:24:33

Purple lights? fenvy

gordyslovesheep Sat 07-Dec-13 21:24:54

if you are putting the tree up NOW you are common anyway so enjoy it grin (joke! btw)

I love tat

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:25:53


Fairy lights on the telly.

Not tasteful at all. Not a bit.

Monetbyhimself Sat 07-Dec-13 21:27:03

Yes Honey PURPLE angry

BohemianGirl Sat 07-Dec-13 21:27:08

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:27:43

No. The tree is not up yet. But I know the dog will eat it when we fo.


Oldraver Sat 07-Dec-13 21:27:57

Coloured lights are Christmassy, clear and white lights are there grin

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:29:00

Bohemian. The thought has crossed my mind more than once. He is a sore disappointment at times.

MichaelFinnigan Sat 07-Dec-13 21:30:07

You've got an 'out the front' Give up tasteful aspirations now

feelingfuckingfestiveok Sat 07-Dec-13 21:33:56

'fuking tinsel' i feel your disgrace!

I keep thinking whent he kids are older Im going to have that laura ashley looking living room (not a floral type) and all elegant pale gold ad white themes tree with taseful red/wine colour bows and real wreaths.

it will all look so grown up an elegant.

I have decorations from disney on my tree - how tacky is that.

Your house sounds amaaaazing!

Bit like mine with the snow scene on the front window, multi coloured lights and a please stop here sign in the garden.

I am as common as muck, welcome to the clan. grin

feelingfuckingfestiveok Sat 07-Dec-13 21:34:55

Out fronts are what we slow down for not for one own street

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:37:58

I need to give in and embrace it don't I.

Might need a light up reindeer or something.

And those sweet little light up houses and stuff on the window sill.

If you had kids on the AS spectrum you would be overjoyed to get any lights up without an epic meltdown. I'm not meaning to sound like the xmas Grinch here. Enjoy your lights, have huge amounts of fun putting them up. Please have fun for me, I'll be dealing with a 7yo howling.

Sorry to sound grumpy, I am sad I'll now go away...

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:42:18

I do indeed have DD2 (AS).

They put up lights without her breaking anything.

Bloofy ammazing and I should be thankful.

i do wish it was subdued and nice and not flashing though

OhBabyLilyMunster Sat 07-Dec-13 21:44:00

Tinsel is common hides

Screamqueen Sat 07-Dec-13 21:44:07

Im hunting for a flashing outdoor star as we speak, Im sure it will be very will set off my very er tasteful outdoor Nativity scene complete with stable and straw, Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus and 3 wise-men just perfect fwinkfgrin

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:44:19

I feel your pain though. She managed to lose it in school yesterday and smashed a window and got excluded. So I really do know.

BroomstickRider Sat 07-Dec-13 21:44:41

You need a half and half house, half tasteful, half tacky. I have some friends who can't agree on Christmas decorations so they have a tree each, in separate rooms! Luckily for them they have a big house though!

HoneyDragon Sat 07-Dec-13 21:45:52

Aaaw Festive ((hugs))

Tell you what let's pack up some mince pies and a thermos of mulled wine and hang out outside Monets neighbours house.

SilverApples Sat 07-Dec-13 21:46:07

My Aspie loves the lights and the tinsel and anything shiny and sparkly.
For the past few years I have insisted that the tinsel is in his room, and on the stairs only. He has a huge bag that he festoons his room with, and spends most of the festive season being strangled by.
He has declared his intention of taking it with him when he moves out. grin

HoneyDragon Sat 07-Dec-13 21:48:26

My nativity is made up of little china toddler wiseman and Mary and Joseph and angel Gabriel. It is the very height refined chic. Especially with Santas marching band and the light up train behind it.

Cervix, how do you keep your sanity at this time of year?? We are struggling here. DD1 is Y3 & I'm thinking of keeping her off school once the plays are over because she just can't cope. DD2 is 15mo younger (NT)
& loving every minute of the build up. How do you balance the 2??

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sat 07-Dec-13 21:51:17

I'm not coping. Neither is D2. Wine helps. I plan a dry January to let my liver recover.

SilverApples Sat 07-Dec-13 21:53:57

DS was incredibly lucky with his school, the head told me in Y8 that if he was struggling at the end of a term and needed a break, I was to ring her and say, and she's authorise it. That possibility of escape, along with other accommodations the school made, and the extra bits at times of great disruption made life a lot easier. For everyone.
I used to watch the dial creep into the red, and be proactive with my decisions before he blew. Sometimes it meant DD did things without him.

gordyslovesheep Sat 07-Dec-13 21:55:47

HoneyDragon I just spat wine all over my keyboard - we obviously need pictures!

HoneyDragon Sat 07-Dec-13 21:59:08

Oh that's nothing.

Also int he lounge I have various singing animatronic tack monsters accumulated over the years.

The snowboarding singing penguin is a must see, sadly the motion sensing singing tree died last year sad.

SteamWisher Sat 07-Dec-13 22:01:49

We've got a lovel tasteful tree with coloured lights (white looks cold IMO) but the DCs have, literally as they're 4&2, thrown tinsel at it so the effect is lost.

Ah well.

gordyslovesheep Sat 07-Dec-13 22:03:16

Died you say hmm was it a tragic accident' ?

HoneyDragon Sat 07-Dec-13 22:07:28

gordy the circumstances were strange.

It was left unsupervised with MiL, there was a brief garbled electronic noise. Then no singing or movement, despite many battery exchanges.

She swears she had nothing to do with it.

What's wrong with Disney decorations? fblush

feelingfuckingfestiveok Sat 07-Dec-13 22:14:58

is it bad kids have trees in their bedrooms the toddler girls has a pink one too how bad is that

HoneyDragon Sat 07-Dec-13 22:19:34

Pink Tree fenvy fenvy

Nowt wrong with Disney Decs, I have them, and I think we've established how classy I am fgrin

NumTumRedRum Sat 07-Dec-13 22:20:44

I'm not keen on the tat, or so I thought. Last year dd was at her dads and ds was only 5 wks so I had a tasteful co-ordinated tree with warm plain lights and selected gold and crystal well plastic really ornaments. I looked at it. It was perfect, except... What was it? Something was wrong. I posted a picture on fb. My sister commented, oh are you at mums?

This is why I buy all the Christmas decs in my house. Tinsel is banned after I extracted a shit smeared lurid purple piece from my dogs arse.
We only have warm white slow twinkle lights as the coloured rave style flashing ones triggered my migraines or so I claimed
The kids are allowed to decorate the tree (under strict supervision) and I then subtly alter the cluster of 49 baubles on 3 branches in the middle so that they are all nicely arranged after the kids go to bed. I've given up hanging chocolate decorations on the tree as the greedy little fuckers eat them all on the first day anyway and what the kids miss the dog eats and I end up pulling the wrappers out of her arse by the golden hanging string.
Bah humbug

NumTumRedRum Sat 07-Dec-13 22:22:35

Needless to say, I shall now work on escaping my descent into becoming my mother and this year will be embracing the tat. wink

feelingfuckingfestiveok Sat 07-Dec-13 22:22:48

ROARS at shit smeared purple piece from dogs arse - never in my fucking life can I pick up a piece o purple tinsel again after that!

feelingfuckingfestiveok Sat 07-Dec-13 22:24:14

not that I have any <looks left and right>

Why thanks honey its pre lit all of £5 I tihknk from the Asda, DS has a black one with blue stuff on it.

Taffeta Sat 07-Dec-13 22:26:36

DH tried to drape some tinsel over a picture this afternoon.

I screeched the house down. It's not there anymore. he had it poking out of his back pocket courtesy of DD for half the afternoon

Monetbyhimself Sat 07-Dec-13 22:28:18

Am going to feed this fucking PURPLE LED tree to the dog angry

ZeViteVitchofCwismas Sat 07-Dec-13 22:29:05

This is why I would never allow DH and DD to do the house without me. It would be carnage.

SilverApples Sat 07-Dec-13 22:30:34

If you get the tinsel and the flashing lights just right, you end up with a disco ball effect.
Our nativity set was enhanced overnight by a legion of Roman playmobil, complete with catapults.

ShylaMcClaus Sat 07-Dec-13 22:31:42

I used to think that white lights were the way to go but they are soulless somehow. So I bought some Quality Street coloured lights which are lovely but we don't have enough for the tree.

Every year we remark on the sparseness then say, "ah, fuck it, the bastard tree is up now, we'll get some more lights in the sales in January" It's a tradition now.

mammmamia Sat 07-Dec-13 22:34:12

Am laughing out loud at pulling tinsel and choc wrappers out of dogs arse! Sorry!

dementedma Sat 07-Dec-13 22:39:50

Our tree is done.Among the timeless decoations are a leaping Jeremy Fisher in spangled tights, a sequinned snake, an angel from st Petersburg, a glitzy camp Rudolph with golden curled horns,an angel made from a silver pine cone,and a tin decoration which I stole from my parents tree and which is over 50 years old.
All very tasteless but all very special to, us

feelingfuckingfestiveok Sat 07-Dec-13 22:45:07

Each year I let DS choose a decoration for the tree we got to a big shop like Joh Lewis and I take him for a mince pie and he 'helps' me with xmas shopping. But this year I took him to see a play and there was a craft fair where he picked one. When we put hte tree up he will say oh remember tis nice.

We have a man doing kung fu in a santa hat that goes on our tree each year. DH made it at school.

OhBabyLilyMunster Sun 08-Dec-13 09:37:59

Im liking the sound of jeremy fisher in spangled tights. He always had a flashy camp vibe about him....

NCISaddict Sun 08-Dec-13 09:48:42

If you look at one of the other Christmas tree/tinsel threads you will see a picture of last years tree, it looks like the tinsel fairy vomited on it. This year I thought will be different. But oh no, DS1 has just spent a term in Venice so has been looking at the beautiful building no doubt tastefully decorated but has he learnt anything? Has he fuck!!!
I have had a text from him saying please save the tinsel for him to put on the tree on the 19th when he comes home. He is particularly looking forward to placing the strand of multicoloured tinsel which I've been trying to lose for years.
One day I'll have my perfect tree and then I'll be sad as it will be because I don't have my three teens and over decorating it.

madmomma Sun 08-Dec-13 12:16:33

twatty that is actually the most repulsive thing I have ever read. I shall now leave this thread to projectile vomit. Seasons Greetings one and all.

mrspremise Sun 08-Dec-13 14:32:14

A playmobil deep-sea diver is now a regular feature in our Nativity... While l love the idea of a tasteful Christmas, I'm much happier when the house looks like an explosion in a tinsel factory. l don't care how bloody fashionable it is to hate tinsel, I LOVE IT grin

DoYouLikeMyBaubles Sun 08-Dec-13 14:43:34

I wanted all classy and lovely - after seeing the lovely ones in Bents.I ended up spending £17 on THREE baubles and thought fuck that I'm doing it as I usually would.

celestialsquirrels Sun 08-Dec-13 14:48:56

A "tasteful" Christmas is very hyacinth bucket IMO. That ain't what it's about. It's about kids and tinsel and coloured lights.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles Sun 08-Dec-13 14:53:27
Dawndonnaagain Sun 08-Dec-13 14:55:31

Mother always insisted on tasteful, so all four of us have gone out of our way to be tacky. It's great!

monicalewinski Sun 08-Dec-13 15:04:00

I dream of tasteful Christmas's (although with a tinsel fetish), but my husband and kids love tat and shite so this is what we end up with. My classy imaginary life is stifled by my working class actual life.

On a slight tangent, my husband asked me last night what the difference between MN and Netmums was, so I showed him a (grammatical minefield) thread on the other site and then this was my thread of choice on MN.

He actually had a little bit of wee he was laughing so hard at the posts on here - he now understands why I love it.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles Sun 08-Dec-13 15:17:04

I've had the tackiest christmas acrylic nails done yesterday.

Glittery red and gold with gold bows.


Golddigger Sun 08-Dec-13 15:18:04

I just go with the flow.

LEMisafucker Sun 08-Dec-13 15:27:04

I could not be doing with flashing lights around the TV, in fact flashing lights do my head in, so they go in the front window - to piss everyone else off!!!

ItsAWonderfulCervix Sun 08-Dec-13 16:13:02

Other ridiculous items that appear every year to thwart my dreams are...

The hold egyptian mummy case
The sequinned parrot
The glittery fox

All hang on the tree. Along with a million other bits if precious tat.

shewhowines Sun 08-Dec-13 16:31:04

Oh deary deary me. You've gone about it all wrongly. Mine have put up and decorated their very own trees for their own bedroom, from about the ages of 3. Onto these go their tacky decorations and all their homemade/schoolmade ones. Thus, we are officially good parents and display their artistic talents and allow them to be creative to their hearts desire. They are even allowed chocolate on their trees. I, of course, have my own artistic tasteful efforts on display in the rest of the house.

Problem solved... I fear it maybe too late for those whose children have already got their claws into the main tree. fsad

Golddigger Sun 08-Dec-13 16:35:09

Mine have got their claws into the entire house. Even when they dont even live here permanently anymore!
I know I know that is really stupid. But I dont much like the job anyway.

shewhowines Sun 08-Dec-13 16:37:49

I found out this week, that baked decorations made at school don't last forever. I got a handful of mushy, smelly gunk when delving in the bag of decorations this year. fshock At my guess they only last 6 years!

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