To think this is the most stupid substitute I have been sent to date.

(162 Posts)
Bunraku Fri 29-Nov-13 12:43:24

I ordered an electric toothbrush on sale in my tesco delivery. The toothbrush was out of stock and so they have sent me the replacement heads. hmm

PavlovtheCat Fri 29-Nov-13 12:44:04

Sorry, I shouldn't laugh but that's so funny! twats.

VenusDeWillendorf Fri 29-Nov-13 12:45:15

Of dear. Are they too tiny to hold?

What was the make and a model- I love leccy toofbrushes on sale!

WorraLiberty Fri 29-Nov-13 12:46:03

OMG that is stupid! grin

I once ordered sanitary towels that were out of stock and they got replaced by panty liners.

Yeah, like they're going to cope when the flood gates open hmm

dyslexicdespot Fri 29-Nov-13 12:47:49

I ordered multipurpose contact lens solution from Sainsb, they sent ear drops!

Bunraku Fri 29-Nov-13 12:48:57

It was a pro clinical c200 venus

worra grin apparently their system makes the suggestions but it makes me wonder what the programmer was thinking...

DropYourSword Fri 29-Nov-13 12:51:26

Just drink a whole jar of'll be so jacked up on caffeine you won't actually need the electric toothbrush bit!

happygirl87 Fri 29-Nov-13 12:52:26

For my birthday I went to pizza express with a big group of friends and then everyone headed back to mine for drinks. As we has just had dinner I wasn't providing food. I ordered 100 plastic cups online- which were substituted for a 100 piece plastic cutlery set.

The thing that annoyed me the most was surely if you were doing a picnic or something and needed cutlery, if you had thought to order the cups you would have thought to order the cutlery at the same time?! Who would benefit from that swap??!

Jollyb Fri 29-Nov-13 12:53:49

I had the opposite. Ordered a loaf of bread and apparently there were no suitable substitutions!

trainersandcake Fri 29-Nov-13 12:56:25

My brother in law ordered apples and got mini apple pies... I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it!

Acinonyx Fri 29-Nov-13 12:56:55

I'm always amazed when they have no potatoes. How can one of the biggest supermarkets in the universe have no potatoes!

Whatisaweekend Fri 29-Nov-13 12:58:28

I once ordered some taramasalata. They delivered a smoked haddock ready meal for one!! hmm

PuppyMonkey Fri 29-Nov-13 12:59:51

Have posted about mine loads on MN - I ordered a bottle of white wine and got...
... A loaf of white bread.

Thanks Tesco confused
Was a few years back, I'm sure they've improved.
The bloke in Customer Services nearly wet himself laughing.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Fri 29-Nov-13 12:59:52

"Yeah, like they're going to cope when the flood gates open"


judytheobscure Fri 29-Nov-13 13:10:50

I ordered some large oranges once and they sent onions as a substitute. I can't even begin to fathom the thinking behind that one.

specialsubject Fri 29-Nov-13 13:13:15

I asked for dried coconut and got poppadums...

to be fair, at 2am I'd probably make the same mistake.

StephenKatz Fri 29-Nov-13 13:16:58

I remember a MNer posting that she'd ordered a certain brand of sanitary towels and they didn't have them in stock so they were substituted with a big bar of chocolate. Genious grin

Weeantwee Fri 29-Nov-13 13:20:47

grin at white wine substituted with white bread.

I ordered febreeze from ASDA and got a linen scented candle as a substitute.

I suppose it kind of makes sense, I could waft the scent in the direction of the curtains I wanted to freshen up.

spiderlight Fri 29-Nov-13 13:22:21

I once ordered an avocado and got two spiral bound notebooks hmm

TheSmallPrint Fri 29-Nov-13 13:27:28


Quite regularly it seems that the massive Tesco warehouse has run out of apple juice. I would mind if they didn't advertise the 11 million brands of apple juice on their website!

Bunraku Fri 29-Nov-13 13:38:33

Some of these have got me cracking up grin

itsatrap Fri 29-Nov-13 13:46:43

I ordered wholewheat fusilli pasta once and got muesli instead (it was plain too, not even any raisins!) I thought that was pretty ridiculous but the toothbrush heads has had me in stitches.

owlbegoing Fri 29-Nov-13 13:52:15

I ordered PINK balloons, PINK princess candles and a PINK number candle. They gave me a BLUE one! I realise that they come in both colours for the same item code but really!! No common sense!

Not me, but I remember a MNer saying she'd ordered white wine, and it had been substituted with grapes - a sort of DIY version!! grin

welshnat Fri 29-Nov-13 13:56:24

I once ordered ladies razor blades, their replacement was men's disposable razors. Although they couldn't find a substitute for my bottle of rose wine!

welshnat Fri 29-Nov-13 13:56:59

And for the first time ever this thread has made me want a "like" button for MN!!!

MairyHoles Fri 29-Nov-13 13:59:04

I ordered that really easy garlic, would have been happy with own brand similar product or just actual real garlic. Really easy ginger is what I got, and what I still have intact in the cupboard. Let common sense prevail, Tesco staff!

Bubbles1066 Fri 29-Nov-13 14:00:07

I've had the no substitutions available for bread too. What Tesco, you didn't have a single loaf of bread, nothing?! Drives me mad. I now make sure I write if the type of bread I want is not available send me any other whole meal or brown loaf. I shouldn't have to though, surely it's common sense? Obviously not.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Fri 29-Nov-13 14:11:14

I remember someone on here ordered six eggs from Sainsbury's and got a small wooden owl instead.

thebestlaidplans Fri 29-Nov-13 14:15:16

I use a well known brand of hair dye in a light brown / dark blonde shade, have done for over a decade. Out of stock so Tesco substituted it for a different colour, jet black.
That's alright Tesco, I'll just completely alter my whole appearance?!

BrianButterfield Fri 29-Nov-13 14:38:15

I'm sure a picker was on here once and said they don't see the original choice, only the suggested substitution, so don't blame the staff!

The computer programme clearly needs some work though.

TheSmallPrint Fri 29-Nov-13 14:42:19

I remember someone on here ordered six eggs from Sainsbury's and got a small wooden owl instead.

Brilliant! grin

WellThatsLife Fri 29-Nov-13 14:57:50

Ordered a chicken and got 2lb of mushrooms instead

TotallyBursar Fri 29-Nov-13 15:02:37

I got sent a pack of nappies instead of sanitary towels once & one unfortunate shop I had a kilo of peppers (we really don't like them that much ) but just one lonely carrot. It dawned on me later that, in their place I would briefly wonder why someone might want just the one extra large carrot and that my conclusion may not be flattering.

I really would have preferred a small wooden owl!

WhereIsMyHat Fri 29-Nov-13 15:02:50

The eggs/ owl substitution is brilliant.

Who are these substitution picking people and do they not eat/ live.

PlainBrownEnvelope Fri 29-Nov-13 15:03:00

Ordered a pint of fresh turkey gravy

Got- a tin of dog food - turkey chunks in gravy.

Thurlow Fri 29-Nov-13 15:08:19

And this is why I'll never do online shopping grin

Though I might not complain about the wooden owl...

Didn't someone the other day get sent a bar of chocolate in place of sanitary towels? Genius.

enriquetheringbearinglizard Fri 29-Nov-13 15:12:13

What a Friday afternoon treat.
My cheeks were already aching when I reached the eggs/owl and then I got to the hair dye grin

webwiz Fri 29-Nov-13 15:15:42

I ordered some butternut squash soup and got a whole butternut squash as a substitution - DIY soup.

HesterShaw Fri 29-Nov-13 15:18:01

Surely the owl eggs one can't be true!! grin

JennySense Fri 29-Nov-13 15:18:19

My tesco delivery driver used to roll his eyes at some of the subs as he had to manage the customers. He told me the worst one was an apple instead of some fags. The customer went ballistic.

Ordered thyme, got coriander. You can just see the shelf picker going 'well, it's smelly green sh*t, isn't it'...

Ordered a luxury Taste the Difference swiss chocolate birthday cake for FIL; got 6 Cadburys swiss rolls...

enriquetheringbearinglizard Fri 29-Nov-13 15:22:34

'Surely the owl eggs one can't be true!! grin'

I don't even care if it isn't it's so funny grin

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 15:23:01

If the picker doesnt get to see the orignal choice, then how the hell are they meant to pick decent subs, let them see the original and see if they have an sense.

The eggs/owl one is class, and i would like to know that link was made.

LondonMother Fri 29-Nov-13 15:23:19

Tesco, ten years or so ago. I ordered a tub of pistachio nuts. I got a packet of rich tea finger biscuits. I wondered if ginger nuts might have featured in somebody's thinking at some point in the process.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Fri 29-Nov-13 15:24:08

This thread has some marvellous examples (I think my favourite is Sleepingbunnies' tinned tuna being substituted by a Yom Kippur candle).

Kerosene Fri 29-Nov-13 15:24:53

Most of the time they're fine, and I'll take the odd odd substitution in favour of actually having to go there myself. I quite like ocado substitutions as they'll occasionally upgrade me and you pay the same price.

OTOH, I once ordered veggie mince, got cow mince. Veggie burgers similarly were swapped, not for some other vegetable-based patty concept (such as the other type I had in my order, which were part of the same deal), but turkey burgers.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Fri 29-Nov-13 15:26:20

I once received a leek as a substitute for white seedless grapes! Not quite sure how they thought it was a good substitute? I mean apples/pears I could understand.

DavenotChas Fri 29-Nov-13 15:27:32

I ordered a pregnancy test and my substitute was condoms. A bit like closing the door after the horse has bolted (so to speak...)

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Fri 29-Nov-13 15:33:44

Sainsbury's eggs are billed as "woodland" eggs, so we all theorised at the time that it was the "wood..." bit that had been picked up. Sadly original thread seems to have been in Chat.

NoComet Fri 29-Nov-13 15:38:27

Pre DCs I often used to buy one large carrot.

To grate into spagbol. (I don't much like boiled carrots, so did't want lots)

Now I have visions of tittering till staff.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 29-Nov-13 15:42:20

This thread is making me cry! In a good way obviously. Only I'm sitting in Asda cafe so I probably look like a right weirdo!

I was very upset when tesco once substituted my lovely on offer wine, with wine that I hate. I mean, don't they know?

LittlePrincess - maybe they thought that turkeys are vegetarians, so that counted?confused <<clutches at straws>>

judytheobscure Fri 29-Nov-13 16:05:52

Does anybody know whether the item picker decides what the substitute will be or is it a random computer generated type thing?

Thecircle Fri 29-Nov-13 16:09:44

Wasn't there someone on here last week who said sainsburys had none of her chosen tampons so they substituted it for dairy milk.

That's the best I've heard but love the little wooden owls

Spaulding Fri 29-Nov-13 16:31:31

About two years ago, first time shopping with Asda, I ordered prawn crackers to go with the chinese stir-fry dinner I was doing. They were substituted with Asda own-brand prawn cocktail shells (aka cheaper version of Skips). My face was confused ... the thought of scooping up a stir-fry with Skips makes me feel a bit queasy.

welshnat Fri 29-Nov-13 16:53:51

My favourite so far has got to be the pregnancy test/condoms substitution!!

eatriskier Fri 29-Nov-13 16:55:34

Years ago before a computer did it and a real person picked subs my local (at the time) Sainsbury's was famed for substituting tampons with cotton balls and string…

My favourite one was a friend who had pre ordered a massive Christmas turkey and they sent her 4 pints of milk. She kicked of big style and they ended up taxi-ing one up from Devon to London in the middle of the night.

harticus Fri 29-Nov-13 17:13:53

My ex ordered a bag of lemons from Sainsbury's and got lemon scented bleach instead.

These are brilliant! I have a chest infection and I'm sitting here shoulders shaking and wheezing just like Mutley from Wacky races.

EddieVeddersfoxymop Fri 29-Nov-13 17:20:06

Had this with yoghurt. I ordered low fat yoghurt and got NOTHING as a substitute. Yes, according to tesco there was not another yoghurt on the shelves that they could have supplied. Either something went wrong with their shelf stocking that day or there were a LOT of ladies with thrush......grin

HectorVector Fri 29-Nov-13 17:21:54

This wasn't tescos fault but I needed 1 tbsp of semolina for a recipe once, I duly ordered said semolina after looking at the picture but not reading the description. The biggest bloody bag of semolina in the entire world arrived.

LondonMother Fri 29-Nov-13 17:29:31

Hector, I did that with cumin seeds! I got a huge tub that took years to work through. I did it the other way with Christmas crackers. I got some from Ocado which seemed surprisingly cheap. I found out why when they arrived. They were miniature crackers, about 3" long. Gave us all a good laugh anyway.

miniandfloss Fri 29-Nov-13 17:36:55

My exercise ball punctured when I was pregnant so I ordered a replacement with the weekly shop as was relying on it due to bad spd.

When the delivery man turned up with a substitution of a hula hoop we both had a chuckle as I was 34 weeks at the time and no hula hooping would be going on any time soon smile I'm not even sure the hula hoop would have fitted round me

MrsWedgeAntilles Fri 29-Nov-13 17:53:43

I ordered pasata the other week, which normally comes in a carton which is a pretty good size for recipes, we got hundreds of tiny, tiny cartons with about 20mls each in them. I can only assume all the big people had bought the one I usually get and they had to send out to the elf branch of ASDA to stock us up.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Fri 29-Nov-13 17:55:53

We had Oilatum bath stuff substituted for Vaseline.

Other than that it has generally be pretty sensible.

My favorite was when something was BOGOF and we ordered 6 and they only had 5. Dh took the order and didn't realise until I looked on the receipt. He phoned them up and they gave us them all free!

Dwerf Fri 29-Nov-13 18:03:27

My tesco delivery driver used to roll his eyes at some of the subs as he had to manage the customers. He told me the worst one was an apple instead of some fags. The customer went ballistic. I can just imagine some nicotine deprived banshee shrieking "How the hell am I going to smoke this?" I would not be happy either with that.

JiminyCricket Fri 29-Nov-13 18:15:40

Mine was some lamb shanks I had ordered for a special family dinner...substituted with value mutton mince hmm.. And another time 2 salmon fillets subbed with an entire enourmous side of salmon, which i happily portioned up and froze smile

COCKadoodledooo Fri 29-Nov-13 18:23:15

I ordered lime curd and the substitution offered was lime shower gel hmm

I'm sure there must be a competition between pickers for the oddest substitution!

Crikeyblimey Fri 29-Nov-13 18:26:40

I once ordered some chilli sauce and got tinned sardines in spicy tomato sauce.

Freddiefrog Fri 29-Nov-13 18:32:05

The last one I had was 1 single pomegranate instead of the pomegranate and something or other scented Alberto Balsam shampoo and conditioner I'd ordered

YouTheCat Fri 29-Nov-13 18:33:23

I ordered some bayonet fitting light bulbs a few years ago and got sent screw in ones as a sub. hmm

I want an owl. grin

Marcelinewhyareyousomean Fri 29-Nov-13 18:35:53

I either get one carrot or one billion; this is down to user error though.

I had an awesome over-ordering of shopping when I came in from a night out. I ordered bread, milk cheese and all the wine. When the very clinking delivery arrived the next morning, I had some great subs for wine offers which had been substituted with some lovely, much nicer replacements. wine

BusyLittleSpider Fri 29-Nov-13 18:47:06

grin At the pregnancy test/ condom substitution!

I once ordered a chicken and got southern fried chicken burgers instead, not so great for Sunday dinner!

Generally I find Tesco to be the worst for their substitutions. Asda seem to give you better stuff IME.

Whilst pregnant, I ordered pregnacare vitamins which got substituted with a box of tampons confused

Have also had Smash instead of potatoes, and carrot cake instead of carrots!

laza222 Fri 29-Nov-13 18:54:59

Never had any myself but someone on here once posted that they order Halal chicken and got bacon instead!

My sister ordered bog standard Tesco sparkling water and got San Pellegrino sparking water instead. Nice!

katese11 Fri 29-Nov-13 19:04:29

My BIL ordered polo shirts for his dcs. ... they sent him polos!

londonrach Fri 29-Nov-13 19:05:40

Just picking myself off from the floor. Love the pregnancy/condoms. Almost makes we want to order online. Can i have a wooden owl please....

ThisWayForCrazy Fri 29-Nov-13 19:15:47

Two Christmases ago, my delivery (3 hours late) on Christmas Eve (5:45pm) they substituted my large turkey for 4 chicken breasts hmm

NachoAddict Fri 29-Nov-13 19:17:30

I have had bubble bath instead of bath cleaning cream and hardwood floor cleaner instead of carpet cleaner.

AmandinePoulain Fri 29-Nov-13 19:20:48

It's when they don't substitute that I get cross. I mean, seriously, in your giant store you don't have ANY apple juice of ANY kind? Really?! hmm

Or when I ask for a small chicken (I'm a vegetarian and dd2 is only 1 so doesn't eat a huge amount) and they send a chicken the size of a turkey that costs £10...that's annoying too! They did it with cheese once, I ordered 200g or something and got 1kg - I phoned to complain because it ended up being so expensive so I got the whole thing free grin.

Tonight's delivery is due in a bit, oh the suspense wink

londonrach Fri 29-Nov-13 19:23:45

Poulain...hope for a wood owl....

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 19:31:09

Hoping Poulin gets weird shit in the delivery.

MyDogEatsPoop Fri 29-Nov-13 19:31:42

I ordered Felix cat food, and got Persil washing liquid instead. I got a ten pound voucher after writing to tell them how offended my poor cat was.

cantheyseeme Fri 29-Nov-13 19:32:41

This is an amazinng thread grin I ordered nappies and got 2 sizes too small.... not funny....thhese other posts are making me cackle!!

somethingaboutshamy Fri 29-Nov-13 19:32:51

I was sent a tube of smarties instead of the 200 cigs I ordered!

MollyBerry Fri 29-Nov-13 19:35:22

I ordered some gummy sweets and got some international instant noodles!

AmandinePoulain Fri 29-Nov-13 19:35:26

I'll keep you posted. I never get entertaining subs though, sorry! grin

GillyMac93 Fri 29-Nov-13 19:36:59

I quite often do personal shopping in a major supermarket i work in , the system is ridiculous ! Common sense is required . One substitute for out of stock yogurts was a pair of ladies trousers ! Or corned beef instead of roast ! We all over ride them , just laziness !

Puffinlover Fri 29-Nov-13 19:37:45

I also want a small wooden owl grin

toffeesponge Fri 29-Nov-13 19:39:17

I wonder if pickers do it on purpose. Think they are being funny when actually they are being PITA.

Last week I gained some oxo cubes and fabric conditioner.

MadeOfStarDust Fri 29-Nov-13 19:45:23

we got 15 bags of 10 oranges once instead of 5 individual satsumas.... God knows what they were thinking- the bags just kept coming and coming.... needless to say we refused the substitution... with a giggle...

an owl would have been nice.... I want an owl now....

JapaneseMargaret Fri 29-Nov-13 19:47:05

I've never had any good 'uns. But I do remember someone on here ordering mince...

And getting mints.

ilikecooking Fri 29-Nov-13 20:00:29


Instead of whole oranges I was given Terry's Chocolate Oranges


fuzzpig Fri 29-Nov-13 20:02:56

Marking place, these are always fun grin

Mumoftwoyoungkids Fri 29-Nov-13 20:05:01

Thiswayforcrazy What did you do?????

AmandinePoulain Fri 29-Nov-13 20:42:54

1 sub....

My pasta was replaced with...

A different pasta grin

Tubemole1 Fri 29-Nov-13 20:46:04

Some years back my friend ordered lemon squash and got a bottle of Cif lemon.

Glimmerberry Fri 29-Nov-13 20:52:31

This is rather pathetic but it irritated me.

Amongst about 50quid of baking ingredients (big charity bake sale) I'd ordered 3kg of golden caster sugar.

Realising they didn't have golden caster sugar, they clearly thought the golden bit, rather than the caster was key. I got 3kg of golden granulated. Argh.

antiqueacorns Fri 29-Nov-13 21:01:09

davenotchas - have you looked on the other thread?
Someone posted 'A tesco delivery man told me he'd had a customer who got a pregnancy test instead of the condoms he'd ordered!'
That must have been your order grin

MartyrStewart Fri 29-Nov-13 21:08:06

Not a substitution exactly, but who was it on here that sent her DH out with a shopping list?

She had written loo rolls and he came back with 100 rolls. That still makes me chuckle grin

I once ordered tampons and got a pack of 6 pencils hmm what the actual fuck goes through their minds?!!

BikeRunSki Fri 29-Nov-13 21:11:06

I ordered squeeze honey..... And got "free from" lasagna sheets.??????

HesterShaw Fri 29-Nov-13 21:12:06

Pencils for tampons shock


LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 21:13:48

I once ordered tampons and got a pack of 6 pencils

Do you have a fanjo that narrow hmm

onlysettleforbutterflies Fri 29-Nov-13 21:17:26

I ordered carte noire coffee and got carte noire biscuits instead. Can't make a cuppa with those!

ReluctantCamper Fri 29-Nov-13 21:20:32

A friend of mine ordered a dozen eggs.....and got a dozen cadbury's creme eggs. Result.

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 29-Nov-13 21:21:07

A couple of weeks ago I was putting together some Christmas food hampers as gifts for friends and half legs of lamb were on offer so I ordered 5, one for each hamper.

Half legs were out of stock by the time they packed my order so they substituted with whole legs and charged me for the halfs.(I know that's a nice sub)

My most infuriating sub will be the 10 chicken pies when I wanted 10 steak ones, don't get me wrong I'm not adverse to chicken pies but I had already ordered 10 chicken ones in the same order.

lucius my fanjo is most certainly not that narrow after having a 10lb baby pass through it! DH now says its like throwing a sausage up the highstreet grin

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 21:43:33

10lb, ouch, my fanjo refused to push 9lb DD through it. What a charmer your DH is, right up there with "Like a worm in the royal albert hall" grin

PrincessChick Fri 29-Nov-13 21:44:48

Tears...rolling...down...face grin!! Oh I'm actually shaking with laughter!

Only controversial sub I've had was a free range whole chicken for an organic chicken. The driver was genuinely shock and then very hmm when I politely declined. "Really, you won't take the freerange chicken Mrs Princess?"
"No thank you"
"No. Thank you"
"Wow!" ^^ (extremely high eyebrows)

Ps I would also really like a small wooden owl too grin grin grin! Or chocolate in place of sanitary towels! Or 100 rolls grin grin

ALittleBitOfMagic Fri 29-Nov-13 21:45:38

gringrinNot laughed so much at a thread before this is hilarious !!

fuzzpig Fri 29-Nov-13 21:46:45

<wanders into thread, casually mentions 11lb14oz DS, wanders out>


I would have a very happy DH if we got a dozen creme eggs hmm

ALittleBitOfMagic Fri 29-Nov-13 21:46:45

Hold on ... You can refuse subs ???shock

lucius I tell DH if his own sausage was a bit meatier he would maybe feel the sides grin

fuzzpig Fri 29-Nov-13 21:49:24

On tesco if you go on your basket there's a column where you can tick 'no substitutions' or add comments

fuzzpig Fri 29-Nov-13 21:50:19

I've never tried it myself but I think you can even specify what item to substitute it with if it's unavailable

Blimey fuzzpig <doffs cap in respect> bet that stung!

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 21:51:01

Honey, good way of keeping his ego under control grin

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 21:51:57

Yeah Fuzzy, well dont on that one, makes my fanjo twinge just thinking about it.

fuzzpig Fri 29-Nov-13 21:53:31

Easier birth than 8lb4oz DD confused - though I did get treated like a celebrity on the ward when word got around - have to admit the attention got me through those few days of hormone craziness blush

He's actually quite little now though, age 4 hmm

fuzzpig Fri 29-Nov-13 21:54:51

I am too scared to have another BTW so it wasn't all good! grin

Sorry for total hijack

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 21:56:06

I had to have EMCS to get DD out, shes 6 now and up to my bust and long skinny legs, things that she dont get from me <strops at being so short>

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 21:56:57

I actually feel robbed, i've never had a crappy sub before, how shit, i should shop online more often!!

IsabellaRockerfeller Fri 29-Nov-13 21:59:17

Ouch at these big babies!

Tesco once substituted my white wine for white wine VINEGAR.

Not what I wanted to drink on Friday night after a shite week at work.

Crocodilehunter Fri 29-Nov-13 22:11:31

We ordered onions and they sent onion seeds to substitute grin

SimplyRedHead Fri 29-Nov-13 22:12:57

You can hand substitutions back to the driver and get a full refund.

Tesco also only charge you the price of the original item and not the expensive substitute (ie you order a £1 chocolate bar, the send you a £200 chocolate bar. You pay £1.)

If the substitution is cheaper, they refund the difference.

I think that's the same for all supermarkets.

(by the way you can hand anything back to the driver for a full refund so if you get a squashed banana, or you realise the bag of something is too big or the wrong brand, you can just give it back and get your money back).

MovingOnUpduffed Fri 29-Nov-13 22:14:48

My most annoying was in place of the six bottles of white wine I had asked for for a party- nothing. What, no wine in the entire shop, the shop that has whole aisles full of wine of all colours? Not even a single bottle of wine?!

lunar1 Fri 29-Nov-13 22:23:45

Roast chicken crisps instead of a chicken. Sunday dinner was not quite the same.

Scarletbanner Fri 29-Nov-13 22:26:48

I wish I had got an owl too.

My worst one was ordering 4 Duracell size C batteries. These were out of stock, but rather than give me Sainsburys or another brand , they gave me 4 Duracell size D batteries instead.

brettgirl2 Fri 29-Nov-13 22:28:12

but tescos are fit aren't they so if you order, for example value apple juice they say no sub if all the others are more expensive.

The real problem here is dh, he will accept anything as a substitution.

I was one sent one finest steak in the place of 2 normal ones hmm . Dh accepted, it was fine though I had a couple of manky burgers in the back of the fridge for him grin

moldingsunbeams Fri 29-Nov-13 22:33:00

DD wept at the hula hoop one grin

LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout Fri 29-Nov-13 22:36:39

I've had the same stupid substitution 6 times in a row, each time I ring up (after the driver has gone, first time dh accepted delivery and didn't notice) and tell tesco I ordered 24 tins of CAT food for my 3 cats. I do not want 24 tins of DOG food instead.

Each time they refund me the full cost and tell me to keep the dog food. Half gets sold cheap as chips to neighbour with dogs, other half goes in RSPCA bin at Morrisons.


LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Fri 29-Nov-13 22:42:55

Lamb atleast someone is getting something out of their repeated stupidity.

ColdTeaAgain Fri 29-Nov-13 22:48:53

Size 3 nappies replaced with size 4 pull upssad sadly in my sleep deprived state I accepted them and didn't realise until I needed to open a new packet. Thank god for terrys!

LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout Fri 29-Nov-13 22:50:03

Yes I guess so, I get 'compensation' from my neighbour and some doggies get free food.

Cheers tesco grin

still have to go buy cat food though, and cart the bloody heavy tins home

MoominsYonisAreScary Fri 29-Nov-13 22:53:11

Ive never had any subs

I did have an 11lb 2 baby though. give me a wooden owl any day of the week grin

YouTheCat Fri 29-Nov-13 23:44:13

I have never given birth to a wooden owl. grin

tweetytwat Fri 29-Nov-13 23:58:08

Congrats and Ouch Moominsthanks

Bunraku Sat 30-Nov-13 04:13:53

Wow there are some really shocking subs here!

BuntyPenfold Sat 30-Nov-13 04:31:27

My daughter ordered nappies and got Sellotape. No nappies in the shop at all then?

DavenotChas Sat 30-Nov-13 09:43:40

antiqueacorns I have no doubt that was my delivery driver, he was the king of inappropriate waffle. When the condom delivery arrived, he took great delight in shaking them out of the yellow sub bag and cackling at the top of his voice. The neighbours were most amused grin

I got the none in stock the other day for... A chicken.

No chickens at all. Not even breasts/legs/wings rather than whole. Not even any other meat. Not even chicken flavoured crisps! grin

Gruntfuttock Sat 30-Nov-13 10:09:00

I do virtually all my shopping online except for grocery shopping. Now I have read this thread I know that I will never do grocery shopping online.

I must be having a sense of humour failure, but these examples of idiotic substitutions have made me more angry than amused. I know people have said it's a computer that makes the substitutions, but I know that I would want to rant at somebody (no idea who) about the stupidity rather than just laugh. I have no idea what I will do when I can no longer go out to the supermarket to get things. Is it possible to specify "no substitutions" when ordering, or does "computer say no" about that?

Sorry for being a ratty old bag blush

It is possible to ask for no subs. I dont as 90% of the time i get better subs than what i asked for. Its improved massively since it first started smile

(I use asda btw)

dontyouknow Sat 30-Nov-13 11:11:20

Worst I've had is Kingsmill wholemeal bread substituted with Kingsmill white bread. I hate white sliced bread. That's why I ordered wholemeal....

As others have said it's the lack of substitutions I find worse.

I don't care that you didn't have the exact bottle of wine I ordered. I can't believe there is not a single bottle of white wine left in the entire store!

Generally I find the tesco substitutions pretty good with the price match. One shop pretty much all the value stuff I had ordered had been substituted with branded stuff! Also had medium packs of nappies substituted with large packs and price matched.

Only used Sainsburys once. They made reasonable substitutions in terms of what the products were, but they were all MUCH more expensive and they don't price match (or didn't at the time).

knocknock Sat 30-Nov-13 11:13:29

We ordered something really nice from our favourite place
Twice we did it

And I have to tell the true
They absolutely shocked me with their hostility

They given us so much extra

A nice loooong healthy testing hair
(Unfortunately I wasn't able to identify the colour of it)
From a simple reason
after such amusing extra gift the toilet was my best friend for while

But that not everything
Looks like a hair is included in their menu

They did it again

knocknock Sat 30-Nov-13 11:15:01

Btw it was not tesco

Gruntfuttock Sat 30-Nov-13 11:17:08

knocknock Their hostility?

ConfusedDotty Sat 30-Nov-13 11:19:40

I ordered two beautiful lamb shanks from sainsburys and got all the lovely trimmings to go with them. They got substituted for a beef stroganoff ready meal for one! Much gutted I was. How dare sainsburys imply I eat ready meals?

chocoshopoholic Sat 30-Nov-13 11:44:41

I received strawberry baby food instead of strawberry jam.

knocknock Sat 30-Nov-13 12:31:28

I've ordered a few times some lovely
vegetables because I'm big fan of everything
what's green and healthy

They really must came to conclusion that there is something wrong with my weight...

They stuffed my veg with some lovely lively meat

I was so truly grateful for their care
but lively meat in my vegetables is making me sick!!!

I've just had my delivery. They tried to substitute cumin with ginger. That will be a nice curry hmm

I'm more annoyed that I ordered about 700g of stewing beef for a casserole and they've sent 333g. They've not marked it as a substitution or anything. Fair enough they may not have a big pack, just send two small ones!

I probably would have forgiven them if I'd got a wooden owl or a hula hoop. grin

Gruntfuttock Sat 30-Nov-13 13:06:43

I've got to stop reading this thread because it's making me cross. There must be something seriously wrong with me that it's making me angry when it makes everyone else grin

Hate self sad especially for overuse of emoticons

snippyMcSnippy Sat 30-Nov-13 16:25:36

we had a pack of 24 garlic dough balls substituted with 24 garlic baguettes!

toffeesponge Sat 30-Nov-13 17:48:43

knocknock you posts make no sense to me. I haven't been drinking.

louiseaaa Sat 30-Nov-13 17:51:53

Carling substituted for becks blue and mixed mojito for the goodness non-alcoholic range - hello - there's a theme here ? hmm

AnUnearthlyChild Sat 30-Nov-13 19:09:33

I r enember the eggs one.

It was a dozen barn eggs she wanted, got a small barn owl.

Inthechelseahotel Sat 30-Nov-13 20:16:35

Glad you said that toffeesponge I pondered over her posts for a while!
just jeolous of other people being able to have fun

OldDaddy Mon 02-Dec-13 16:35:57

The replacement packing must be done by a robot as some of the choices are so bad. Although with mine they always seem to replace the BRAND item with the premium item at double the price for less product. And everything usually has a Use by date of around 10 minutes after it was delivered.

EATmum Mon 02-Dec-13 19:49:02

Yes, I've definitely had the 'no loaf of bread available anywhere in the Greater London area. And the night they failed to replace my lamb shanks at all (I know, first world problems right), when I had a dozen people arriving for a NYE dinner, I had a sense of humour failure.
But in general I salute the heroic people who shop so I don't have to. I love you all!

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