"Didn't want to read & run/can offer no advice but.../hopefully better informed posters will be along soon/blah blah...

(65 Posts)
Botanicbaby Thu 21-Nov-13 22:24:05

Jeez. So you 'didn't want to read & run'; and you can 'offer no useful advice'; and you 'hope that more experienced posters will be along soon'; yadda yadda.

Just don't post yet (at least you could wait until the 'more knowledgable' posters have commented) It's not compulsory to comment asap. You can express sympathy/acknowledgment/recognition/all of the above without resorting to a catch all, ineffective 'can't read & run' bleat?

AngelsLieToKeepControl Thu 21-Nov-13 22:25:59

It keeps the thread bumped so more knowledgeable people will see it, and offers the op support, what's wrong with that?

RedLondonBus Thu 21-Nov-13 22:27:53

what harm are they doing? jeez....who ae you to comment? starting a whole thread about it

Botanicbaby Thu 21-Nov-13 22:28:29

angels nothing wrong with that at all. good point!

HarryStottle Thu 21-Nov-13 22:29:04

Well hoPefully better informed posters will be along shortly but for he record, I disagree OP

lougle Thu 21-Nov-13 22:29:19

It's just a kind way of saying 'bumping for you.'

Botanicbaby Thu 21-Nov-13 22:30:07

redlondonbus

who are you? the thread police? what topics are we allowed to start a thread about?

Huh!

Just keeping things bumped and an acknowledgement ... No harm.

ExitPursuedByWho Thu 21-Nov-13 22:31:11

<doesn't post>

Oakmaiden Thu 21-Nov-13 22:32:11

Not only that, but sometimes you read a thread where someone is in obvious distress, and although you can't help it feels rude to not offer a word to them before you click off their thread. You are just showing them that they are not being ignored, even if you can't actually help as such...

YABU.

MurderOfGelth Thu 21-Nov-13 22:32:17

I've had those replies before when I've been asking for help, and while they've been no practical help it has been good to just feel less alone/invisible. So think they are a good thing.

Botanicbaby Thu 21-Nov-13 22:33:30

lougle didn't realise that it was a kind way of bumping, thanks.

RedLondonBus Thu 21-Nov-13 22:33:34

lol at thread police....ironic coming from you!!

IwishIwasmoreorganised Thu 21-Nov-13 22:34:01

On this occasion I will read and run!

TalkieToaster Thu 21-Nov-13 22:35:03

What Oakmaiden said. YABU.

ExitPursuedByWho Thu 21-Nov-13 22:35:10

.

Botanicbaby Thu 21-Nov-13 22:35:18

ok everyone, I get it now. Thank you.

Yes I totally see what you all mean about feeling less alone/invisible and of course, for those in obvious in immediate address.

IABU. Sorry!

Botanicbaby Thu 21-Nov-13 22:36:12

redlondonbus yep, you're not wrong! lesson learned grin

FreudiansSlipper Thu 21-Nov-13 22:36:15

its a show of support and sometimes people need it

nothing more

Shakey1500 Thu 21-Nov-13 22:37:10

That was my first thought also. As in, it bumps the thread until (as it says on the tin) someone who may be able to help comes along whilst 6also^ acknowledging in some small, albeit, usless way.

I've seen some really distressing threads which, by being bumped, have turned into supportive/practical/invaluable help threads for the OP.

MumofYuck Thu 21-Nov-13 22:37:52

That is a graceful way to accept less than friendly replies, op - good on you smile

P.s. it slightly irks me too but I generally think those replies serve a purpose.

Hopasholic Thu 21-Nov-13 22:38:38

Live & learn OP smile

Oh the irony of the Thread police hmm

YABVU.

magimedi Thu 21-Nov-13 22:42:51

Well, I was all ready to offer you a biscuit (or worse) OP - but I'd now like to offer you some flowers or even wine to salute your gracious admittance of being unreasonable.

It happens so rarely - truly well done Botanic

joanofarchitrave Thu 21-Nov-13 22:43:50

Yeah. I hate starting threads and having them languish unanswered for 10 minutes forever. And this site moves so fast, always has done. So I bump other people's threads, if I think they're important. And if I haven't much to offer, or want time to think about what I say, i bump it anyway. Awright?

MurderOfGelth Thu 21-Nov-13 22:45:06

Agree with magi

TalkieToaster Thu 21-Nov-13 22:45:22

I think the OP gets it now.

tardis

Sorry. I just wanted to try out that smiley. grin

Would be a bit rude to just say "bump" and then run off, like you were literally just bumping into somebody, if you can see they are in obvious distress, but you have NO idea what to say to make it better.

TheDoctrineOfWho Thu 21-Nov-13 22:47:36

Gives OP a tardis for reasonable behaviour.

milkingmachine1 Thu 21-Nov-13 22:49:33

Yabu

FeisMom Thu 21-Nov-13 22:52:17

Well done OP for taking the YABUs so well and graciously retracting

atosilis Thu 21-Nov-13 22:53:14

If no-one replies, when you are very sad and shouted into the abyss, those responses acknowledge that your voice has been heard.

lifesgreatquestions Thu 21-Nov-13 22:55:44

Threads complaining about how some people choose to post are far to popular on MN. Some people communicate in a way that others wouldn't. That's ok in my book.

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho Thu 21-Nov-13 22:59:23

There's nothing worse then no one replying to your thread. I think this is a nice way of bumping it and telling someone they aren't alone.

If someone in RL starts talking to you about a problem and you have no helpful suggestions you don't stare at them blankly refusing to even murmur some support do you?

Botanicbaby Thu 21-Nov-13 23:01:44

thanks to all who have posted replies. I really 'do' get it now. Sorry if I came across as completely insensitive to some of you.

I know now that I was being unreasonable in my OP; the timing of threads and replies on here must be quite crucial in some cases. Lesson well & truly learned.

(was a stupid thing to get irked about tbh, I realise the mumsnet audience is bloody huge -& local forums mostly only get replies from a minority, who may or crucially, may not, have relevant experience too)

Monty27 Thu 21-Nov-13 23:03:22

hmm You really 'do' get it now.

No-one makes their own rules either Botanic. Its a free board. Do you get that?

Botanicbaby Thu 21-Nov-13 23:21:24

monty27 I don't really understand your post.

Its a free board, yes. I can't come along and 'make up my own rules' about who posts what on here. Same as you really.

Just because I've asked a pretty crappy question about mumsnet and am now in a better position to understand the reasons why people post on threads that they themselves admit to having no practical advice for the OP, does not mean that I make 'my own rules' on here.

Do you get that too?

hiddenhome Thu 21-Nov-13 23:23:50

Oh, ffs, stop being so stroppy hmm

kikid Thu 21-Nov-13 23:30:30

shock

ThenSheSaid Thu 21-Nov-13 23:31:56

I love a poster who admits to being U smile

thanks

TheDoctrineOfWho Thu 21-Nov-13 23:33:13

brew for OP

Nombrechanger Thu 21-Nov-13 23:35:42

Time of the month, ladies?

Always Ultra anyone?

Tallaween Thu 21-Nov-13 23:41:44

Only if they're delicately fragranced nombre

+can opened, worms everywhere+

takeitonthegin Thu 21-Nov-13 23:51:58

OP Any thoughts on 'marking place'.....(she says as she shamelessly marks place to see how this pans out). grin

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho Thu 21-Nov-13 23:52:06

RIP Nombre. I hope you lived a long and pleasant life.

BrianTheMole Thu 21-Nov-13 23:56:53

Would be a bit rude to just say "bump" and then run off, like you were literally just bumping into somebody, if you can see they are in obvious distress, but you have NO idea what to say to make it better.

I don't think so. I think thats ok.

EXTERMINATEpeppa Thu 21-Nov-13 23:57:24

nombregrin

Monty27 Thu 21-Nov-13 23:58:08

Botanic grin so you can't take being wrong graciously? grin

LackaDAISYcal Fri 22-Nov-13 00:00:21

Actually you have a point...in ye olden days, when it was just fields round here, sometimes posters would do this to bump threads in the unanswered threads tab and I would sometimes do this myself. However, I was advised that leaving it unanswered is often the better thing to do, so that anyone with knowledge of that subject clicking on unanswered threads would see it as opposed to it being slightly bumped into obscurity...ie not active, yet gone from unanswered...

But you know YABU to tell people what to post!

SPsWouldCatFishNev Fri 22-Nov-13 00:25:23

I do it. I state that I am no use but I will bump so it doesn't get forgotten. That's only if it hasn't had any replies.

It doesn't harm anyone and it tends to draw people in

Jude89 Fri 22-Nov-13 17:10:04

I assumed it was the op going back to their original name (after a name change) so the thread would appear in the "I'm on" bit...

Thatisall Fri 22-Nov-13 18:27:46

Didn't want to read and run but....

TheWitTank Fri 22-Nov-13 18:31:14

I thought this was a helpful way of bumping the thread? No? I sometimes genuinely have nothing to give, but I go with the thinking if I answer and push it up someone else with experience/advice might catch it before it disappears to page 2...

daisychain01 Fri 22-Nov-13 18:40:20

I drafted this up - then realised that the thread has moved on a lot - but bugger it, I may as well post it anyway - sorry for x-post grin

I have always thought when reading the "didn't want to read and run" - how thoughtful that someone cares enough even in an on-line setting, to read someone's issue/problem/request and not casually flick through it onto something else - sometimes it isn't just about entertainment, there are people in genuine need.

It shows that MN'ers rally round (often vulnerable people) to "give them the time of day" and support. They do their fair share of 'flaming' but when push comes to shove, they are right there 'on the money'.

JapaneseMargaret Fri 22-Nov-13 18:44:20

Yeah, I think a lot of people do genuinely feel bad for reading that someone is distressed and upset, and looking for advice or support ... and then just clicking off that thread to move onto the next me.

You know YABU, so all good, but there are several reasons why people do this, and they're all pretty much motivated by kindness. smile

GrumpyRedhead Fri 22-Nov-13 19:34:20

I always thought the "couldnt read and run" comments came from people who used forums which show view counts, so the OP wouldn't see their thread being read loads of times and still being unanswered.

Sorry that sentence is so badly put together, I'm too tired to make it any better!

toffeesponge Fri 22-Nov-13 19:40:00

No one actually knows how many people have read their post so no need to post they don't like to read and run, but it is a way of offering support.

On ukparents and womanandhome it shows how many views and how many posts so it can be upsetting if 200 people have read your post and only 3 have posted. Could just mean they couldn't think that to post though.

OP, why are you being so sneery?

sandfrog Fri 22-Nov-13 19:45:31

If I see the unpleasant accusation "bleat" anywhere, I know I'll disagree with the rest grin

JapaneseMargaret Fri 22-Nov-13 19:57:13

She was being sneery in the OP, but to be fair, she has since fully admitted to not getting it, and BU.

toffeesponge Fri 22-Nov-13 20:06:22

I saw that after but she was still a bit rude I thought.

daisychain01 Sat 23-Nov-13 06:41:11

In fairness to the OP botanic, if you read her post of 23.02 she gave a very conciliatory and intelligent apology and concluded she understood things better. Agreed she did used the bleat word in a previous upthread post but, lets face it that is hardly the worse word we have read on this AIBU board

Then another poster called monty had a go , after her apology !

So I think we can reasonably cut her some slack now, otherwise it will deter people from admitting to being unreasonable won't i? ...

Just saying.... grin

Vivacia Sat 23-Nov-13 06:50:00

Looking forward to the non-thread-reader's over the top reply to the original post...

daisychain01 Sat 23-Nov-13 07:17:55

I agree, Vivacia, this thread has moved on such a lot that someone coming in from 'new' may well go off on one without seeing how the discussion progressed.

Oh the absolute joys of AIBU grin

<lurks with popcorn, ready for a bun-fight spectacle>

Beastofburden Sat 23-Nov-13 08:38:54

What does the tardis icon mean?

I do the post'n'run thing if I see someone in distress with no answers to their OP, so they don't feel nobody cares.

Vivacia Sat 23-Nov-13 09:01:47

I don't actually like the phrase "didn't want to read and run" because I feel it's twee. I realise that this is unreasonable of me.

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