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To be irritated by these girly, weak, breathy voiced singers lately?

(176 Posts)
somethingsnotrighthere Mon 11-Nov-13 18:45:38

It seems to be on adverts, the bloody Lidl one is the worst, it ends with a really weak "All these little thiiiings" and it drives me crackers!

Some singers are like this too, Ellie Goulding for example.

Can anyone else identify with my irritation with this?

Or worsen my irritation with suggestions of equally whiney-voiced singers you have heard? grin

BatPenguin Mon 11-Nov-13 18:46:59

Abi off the X factor? <sorry not helping>

RedLondonBus Mon 11-Nov-13 18:47:08

Think it became fashionable with Diana Vickers from X factor... But where is she these days??

ProfYaffle Mon 11-Nov-13 18:48:57

I know exactly what you mean. Especially when it's combined with ikkle girl lyrics/kookiness. Drives me daft.

Mouthfulofquiz Mon 11-Nov-13 18:49:47

Singers that pronounce their vowels in an odd way piss me right off.

IDugUpADiamond Mon 11-Nov-13 18:49:57

Yes, they give me murderous thoughts

Nottalotta Mon 11-Nov-13 18:50:25

I hate it. Particularly the lame covers of decent songs.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 11-Nov-13 18:51:11

RedLondonBus
"Think it became fashionable with Diana Vickers from X factor... But where is she these days??"

On the front cover of FHM.

Strumpetron Mon 11-Nov-13 18:51:36

I wouldn't have used Ellie Goulding as an example, if you listen to more of her songs she's not like that.

I do know what you mean though and I dislike it too.

Lunaballoon Mon 11-Nov-13 18:51:45

I agree! I've had enough of all the Christmas adverts already. Lidl's and that awful voice is the worst of the lot for me.

LimburgseVlaai Mon 11-Nov-13 18:52:58

Another reason to hate Christmas [grump].

All those bloody ads with their bloody breathy girly singers. Murdering songs.

Mind you, I hate the bellowers as well, the shouty ones that make their voice catch as they go onto a higher note.

Charlesroi Mon 11-Nov-13 18:56:33

I hate it. Particularly the lame covers of decent songs

Amen. I'l never forgive Leona Lewis (or the producer) for Run. Fucking awful.

ProfondoRosso Mon 11-Nov-13 18:57:44

Oh, I so agree. Breathy versions of great songs do my head in. I heard one such murdering of Ain't Nobody on (I think) a Sainsbury's ad. That's Chaka Khan, man!!

Fucking CHAKA CHAKA KHAN!

SaucyJack Mon 11-Nov-13 19:02:24

I still want to flay Leona Lewis alive for what she did to NIN.

Edendance Mon 11-Nov-13 19:04:28

Was it last year's Christmas ad... 'weherwvra you will go...' does my nut.

Totally agreed op, get rid of these god-awful breathy covers!

sonlypuppyfat Mon 11-Nov-13 19:05:37

I loathe the way singers torture each fucking note Maria Carrey is one.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Mon 11-Nov-13 19:06:57

I thought the Lidl advert was Ellie Goulding?

Abi off of X factor is a perfect example of weak whiny voice.

Strumpetron Mon 11-Nov-13 19:07:05

Werwevver you will go makes me want to punch things.

Strumpetron Mon 11-Nov-13 19:08:29

Saucy jack I remember shouting at my telly the year that happened!

Even more so people going on about how she 'ruined Johnny cash's song' NO MATE, I THINK YOU MEAN NINE INCH NAILS

harticus Mon 11-Nov-13 19:12:19

Fucking CHAKA CHAKA KHAN!
grin grin grin

RiffyWammal Mon 11-Nov-13 19:14:02

I knew this would be about the Lidl advert!

It's so annoying - her phrasing and pronounciation are awful ('all thessshh leetle thingssssh'), however I felt a little more forgiving when I realised that the singer is Swedish and it's probably down to accent rather than a deliberate affectation. grin

persimmon Mon 11-Nov-13 19:14:13

Movin' On Up in a reedy voice makes me stabby. It's Primal Scream ffs.

somethingsnotrighthere Mon 11-Nov-13 19:20:11

Thought you would all think I was being a miserable git!!

This thread is great,keep it coming ladies!! grin

soverylucky Mon 11-Nov-13 19:26:40

so glad to see it is not just me who HATES it when ladies sing like this.

NumTumRedRum Mon 11-Nov-13 19:30:03

I bought Diana Vicker's album. I'll be going now. As you were.

angelsgo Mon 11-Nov-13 19:30:58

Just put the mute button on the TV when the ads come on and ask people not to buy their CDs for you at christmas!

Coupon Mon 11-Nov-13 19:33:06

YANBU

BerstieSpotts Mon 11-Nov-13 19:33:15

YANBU to be annoyed but YABU to use "girly" as an insult grin

However the mock-baby-voice is the WORST. The one last year who covered "Wherever you will go" but pronounced it "Whewevew you wiw go" AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!

LetZygonsbeZygons Mon 11-Nov-13 19:33:47

LOL I was thinking exactly same thing today after hearing the lidl ad. its awful.

seriously thought it was a 5 year old child 'singing'.

and thanx mariah cary, poster upthread exactly right you torture every note, and thanx so much for murderin 'against all odds' and 'without you'.

gaaaaaaahhhhhh!

peachypips Mon 11-Nov-13 19:34:30

Arghhh! I thought it was just me! They all seem to be copying each other. Seems to be a way for people that can't sing to manage to get a record deal. Can't imagine they are very good live.

Boys doing fake cockney accents in songs drives me bonkers too. Why are you all speaking so weirdly? You don't talk like that so why sing like that fakey faker!

WhereIsMyHat Mon 11-Nov-13 19:34:52

It pisses me right off. Dolores O'Riordan had it right, all the rip offs, however, don't.

maryannmarie Mon 11-Nov-13 19:36:12

YAsooooooooooNBU. That breathiness gives me the rage.

Allegrogirl Mon 11-Nov-13 19:38:22

YADNBU. That pathetic, weedy version of The Power of Love for example is shite. And yet loads of please love the JL ads and get all weepy over them. Don't get it.

I like Eliie Goulding though.

Allegrogirl Mon 11-Nov-13 19:39:14

Loads of please?? People I meant.

vladthedisorganised Mon 11-Nov-13 19:39:14

Oh God no. I am hoping this genre doesn't get its prissy mitts on Rage Against the Machine..

SpottyDottie Mon 11-Nov-13 19:40:06

Diana Vickers is bloody awful!

Tuhlulah Mon 11-Nov-13 19:40:33

UANBU. All this bloody warbling, bloody Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston (I will always love youhooohahah). Then to hear it replicated on the XFactor (only seen about 3 episodes, that was enough -girls warbling, boys warbling). When did warbling equate to singing? Like water gurgling out of a drain pipe.

Warbling is one of my pet hates.

And who the fuck has just ruined a very nice Bob Dylan song from Time Out of Mind? Heard it in a lift the other day. (Even George Michael ruined a Bonnie Raitt song.)

And the ignorance, thinking covers are originals, like mistaking NIne Inch Nails' original for the rather wonderful Johnny Cash cover.

Oh. I must go now, the nurse is calling...

stardusty5 Mon 11-Nov-13 19:40:35

YANBU. Some of them pronounce their vowels in infuriating ways.
Diana Vickers used to make me turn the TV off. Could never understand why she was singing in a voice that one might use when reading a story to a small child. Haaa lourve yahououw (warble breathe)

volestair Mon 11-Nov-13 19:40:44

Bloody Twinings ad.

CalamityKate Mon 11-Nov-13 19:41:23

Oh I've been RAGING about that "Where-wevver you will go" song since it came out!
It's not like she can't sound her Rs - she manages it at the beginning.
By the end, she's mangling it so much she ends up singing "rare-wevver".
It's like she's pissed - "Tree and sand and stone" turns into "jee an zand an zone"

I loathe it. Why do they do it?? Why?? I genuinely want to know.
Any singers out there? Why deliberately mispronounce words?

Raddy Mon 11-Nov-13 19:41:47

Lily Allen's mockney singing on the JL advert really grates.

You went to bloody Bedales woman, not a comp in Chigwell.

Mylovelyboy Mon 11-Nov-13 19:42:09

Does anyone know the advert advertising hotel breaks. The womans voice is in constant 'whisper mode'. Cant remember the name of the hotel breaks in question. Makes my fillings rattle angry

I heard a breathy version of Blue Monday recently. It made me sadangry

Mylovelyboy Mon 11-Nov-13 19:43:19

Its Diana Vickers 'hand' I despise more than her silly voice

WhereIsMyHat Mon 11-Nov-13 19:45:29

Blue Monday!!! No, they ought to wash their mouths out with soap.

Tuhlulah Mon 11-Nov-13 19:46:21

Yet, breathy but wonderful -Eartha Kitt's Santa Baby.

Marilyn Monroe's Happy Birthday (Mr President).

Maybe above were original whereas others are copy-cat shite.

ouryve Mon 11-Nov-13 19:47:34

Less irritating than poor fake American "diva" voices like Adele. I have to turn the radio off when I hear them because they sound so forced.

IamInvisible Mon 11-Nov-13 19:53:42

I really like that version of "Little Things" on the Lidl ad. It's a band called The Majority Says who have covered it.

I like Ellie Goulding too, tbh. There are enough women singers who belt out ballads, it's nice to have a change.

TSSDNCOP Mon 11-Nov-13 19:57:07

When the sky fawls-ah, we will stumbawl-ah

I'm enjoying Adele's mat leave, shame Lily felt she had to rush back.

somethingsnotrighthere Mon 11-Nov-13 20:00:58

There was a woman who sang with Beautiful South years ago, Briana Corrigan I think, she was all high pitched and kooky. Hated her. grin

CalamityKate Mon 11-Nov-13 20:07:50

They sound as if the radio isn't tuned quite right and they're going in and out of range.

womma Mon 11-Nov-13 20:09:56

Lily bloody Allen...can't she stay at home with her kids? Please?

The worst thing I heard recently was Get Lucky sung in this weedy, breathless acoustic manner it seems none of us like. What a fecking aural travesty that was.

litdog Mon 11-Nov-13 20:15:50

Reading this post has cheered up my evening of admin immensely. Lily Allen is an affront to my ears and cannot agree more re: her ridiculous mockney.

John Lewis what were you thinking?

(Also, am I the only one completely unmoved by what appears to me to be a fairly dull 'story' about a bear walking through a forest?)

CalamityKate Mon 11-Nov-13 20:17:29

I don't mind high pitched.
It's the breathy mangling of words I hate.
It's just so AFFECTED but again I ask - and I might have to actually ask Charlene Soraia via email/twitter or something - why affect a speech impediment?

Ellie Goulding has a terrible voice. She sounds like a needy teen. She reminds me of Patsy Kensit of my youth... Her songs all sounds same-ish.

I blame it on Kiss100, actually. They have the same play list today as they did back in June. I honestly thought I would come back over the holidays and hear new songs. Oh no, they are still bleating on with Ellie Golding, Robert Thicko, Daft Punk and Justin Timberlake. Every school run is the same. angry

I really like London Grammar at the moment. A group with a strong female vocalist for a change

Oh this has cheered me up too. Except I love The Beautiful South. And I like Adele.

ChristmasCareeristBitchNigel Mon 11-Nov-13 20:27:25

I also fucking hate adele/leona/this kind of bollocks

Best day of my working life was when the police wouldn't pay for the Prl and the radio was removed from our office. It had been wall to wall Bleeding love Ears

Lana Del Rey and Adele are great.

squinney Mon 11-Nov-13 20:37:43

Oh thank god I'm not alone! It grates me to the core!
Joanna Newsom is the epitome of what op describes. I once had to sit through her concert with family, it made me want to cause violence!!!! It's so coy, babyish and fake.

SootikinAndSweep Mon 11-Nov-13 20:39:50

Can't bear all that yelping and croaking, Janet Devlin from X Factor made me murderous, as well as Diana The Claw Vickers.

Hate Bjork too, you're a grown woman, not a cute five year old FFS! Makes me want to slap her up the side of her pixie faced bonce.

Scarletohello Mon 11-Nov-13 20:43:21

Ok so who do you like?

Me, I love Beth Hart, her song " Your heart is as black as night", is stunning...

Pobblewhohasnotoes Mon 11-Nov-13 20:45:51

Oh I do not like Lana Del Ray. She has a silly breathless baby voice. And get songs are so bloody moody and depressing.

Scarletohello Mon 11-Nov-13 20:47:42

Also love

Kristina Train, "Dream of Me" and Beth Ditto " I wrote the Book"

Both stella voices and songs..!

ILovePonyo Mon 11-Nov-13 20:50:07

There's a singer called 'birdy' who does breathy singing, grrr. She covered Bon iver's perfectly good song that didn't need covering at all.

I hate hearing the start of that Ellie Golding 'Burn' song on the radio, as the first bit is just her singing "we" in a feeble, pathetic voice. It makes me ANGRYYYYYYY.

ILovePonyo Mon 11-Nov-13 20:51:52

But I am going to look up beth hart. Hooray new singers!

I don't listen to many female singers but I love pj Harvey.

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes Mon 11-Nov-13 20:52:42

Agree with op re silly weak voices. Has anyone mentioned Gabriella Cilmi yet? What she did to the Power of Love....sacrelige, I tell ye.
However I love Adele and Lana Del Ray. And London Grammar. Powerful voices I can belt along to

GoshAnneGorilla Mon 11-Nov-13 20:56:39

Joanna Newsome <clutches ears in horror>!

You can blame the band Nouvelle Vague for this, as they started the trend of covering songs with, in their case, breathy voiced French singers.

I just think it is dubious and astoundingly lazy to do a slowed down acoustic cover of a song and thinks that the slowed tempo and acoustic-ness makes the song more "emotional".

IndiansInTheFuckerLobby Mon 11-Nov-13 20:56:48

I like Birdies voice. The worst is Dido! Yawn central.

Fishandjam Mon 11-Nov-13 20:58:49

I'm glad other people loathe that massacring of The Power Of Love. When it came out I remarked to DH that I was a bit over breathy little squeaky girls covering perfectly decent pop songs. But bugger me, they keep coming!

There's only one solution. Listen to Kerrang.

SootikinAndSweep Mon 11-Nov-13 20:59:09

Katie Melua and her Beijing bicycles makes me want to amputate my own ears.

IndiansInTheFuckerLobby Mon 11-Nov-13 21:00:34

Katie Mele whatsit is awful!

picnicbasketcase Mon 11-Nov-13 21:05:07

Adverts are full of quiet piano female singer cover versions at the moment, hopefully the trend will wear off eventually.
I like Lily Allen usually but that version of Keane's song is a bit too breathywhimsical for me. But I didn't like the overemotional covers on the last two JL Xmas ads either tbh.

RiffyWammal Mon 11-Nov-13 21:07:57

I think Sia Furler has the best female voice, possibly ever, though Winehouse is a strong contender. No breathy childishness from either of them.

But I like Lily Allen's voice! That's how she speaks, I'm sure; she certainly did all through that documentary about her clothes shop. I don't think it's put on.

God yes. Complete drivel.

I fucking hate the very principle of adult women deliberately making themselves sound like ickle wickle frail and oh-so innocent girly-wurlies.

They take amazing classic songs and re-package them as lo-fi, unthreatening , kooky drivel.

The xmas JL ad makes me sick in my mouth for this reason.

peachypips Mon 11-Nov-13 22:04:47

Diana V is on Buzzcocks!

I have started many threads expressi g my annoyance at these silly wittle girly voiced singers, usually wiith a plinky plonky piano playing in tbe background

DrCoconut Mon 11-Nov-13 22:08:40

The warble queen award must go to Katie Melua. DH listens to her a lot, I can't stand it. Awful, weak and whiney, not that I'm a singer mind you. In general I don't like women singers.

PrincessKitKat Mon 11-Nov-13 22:15:22

Has anyone torn a strip of Pixie Lott yet? Can I? She's too cool and cute to open her mouth properly when she speaks, let alone sings angry 'cwwwwy me out' - no fuck off.

And yes. You too Katie Melua with your hideous trite songs. Yuck.

Doubtfuldaphne Mon 11-Nov-13 22:19:36

Birdie is another one

AgadorSpartacus Mon 11-Nov-13 22:44:23

I blame Kylie. It all started with Confide in me. Awful awful awful.

I remember hearing her say in an interview that it was absolutely 100% put on and it toom her a lot of effort to do that baby voice.

Eejit.

FrenchRuby Mon 11-Nov-13 22:44:33

I hated Janet Develin, her voice is so annoying and sounds really really put on/fake.
Love Lana Del Rey though.

itsonlyapapermoon Mon 11-Nov-13 22:48:13

Ellie Goulding always sounds to me like she is singing underwater.

arialultra Mon 11-Nov-13 23:00:18

PlateSpinning, it's Gabrielle Aplin who did Power of Love cover.

Gabriella Cilmi did "Sweet About Me", and a cover of "Warm This Winter", she has a pretty gutsy voice so unfair to lump her with the feebles. However she is still a bit of an idiot, she did an interview last week bleating on about how FHM duped her by publishing a sexy shoot she did, where the photos were not what she expected. I don't know what she expected when she posed topless and wet wearing leather pants...

BringMeTea Mon 11-Nov-13 23:10:22

Yes.....down with Katie Melua (esp as stated that frickin' bicycles song, grinds my gears, pun intended) and Kate Nash and o'Riordon and deffo Lily Allen. Katy Brand did a better job as her.

Up with Sia and Lorde's pretty spunky.

ringaringarosy Mon 11-Nov-13 23:17:17

they always do it in a london accent (sorry i have no idea if its a specific part of london,i know there are different accents for different parts)

When i heard Lily Allen was doing that keane song on the JL ad,i knew exactly what it would sound like.

Ugh YES YES. I once stumbled across an atrocious cunt called Jose Vanders who also did a dismaying cover of Bon Iver, and had one song in which she wrangled a single word in the chorus into an eighteen-syllable simper and said every word like it began with a W and at one point failed horribly to pull off this clap-and-count thing in what I can only assume was a wildly misplaced conviction that she was Regina Spektor. It took all my strength not to clamber up on stage and ram the microphone into her eye sockets.

Also, I can't believe nobody's mentioned Angus and Julia Stone! The female arm of that particularly loathsome outfit is well up there on the list of Most Irritating Affected Speech Impediments.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYY?

frizzcat Mon 11-Nov-13 23:28:17

Oh yes Katie Melula and her bastard boring bikes - why don't you fuck off to China then.... But no, the whiney witch is releasing a new album. That makes me want to lie face down in a puddle, only I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

That little witch that covered Bon Ivor's song skinny love is banned from my ears, home, life and world.

Every no good bastard that covers a Nina Simone song - they should be arrested and made to publically state why they commited the crime and then automatically be sentenced to hard labour.

Mariah, Whitney, Celine, Michael Bolton, Christina - are you people fucking constipated? You have to be, no one can scream like that and not follow through on the other end.

And this fucking singing with a lisp and introducing new and interesting vowels, you bastards are just doing that shit to mess with my head - because all that happens is that I sing the wrong words and then people laugh as I have yet again, got the words wrong. You are all utter bastards!

Oh hang on, what about the mocky twonk Kate Nash - I wanted squash her head under her piano lid. Oh but the things I could do to Katie Melula with her guitar, I wouldn't even need a bicycle

YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo Mon 11-Nov-13 23:28:31

YANBU, at all. What happened to appreciating the power and beauty of a strong female voice? These days it seems if you don't sound like a 5 year old girl with stage fright who is doing all she can to just not wet her knickers, you're not 'authentic'!

frizzcat Mon 11-Nov-13 23:31:57

Oh Belinda Carlisle who sounds like someone is shaking her as she screams

Dolores O'Riordan -Zombie, Zombie eha eha eha

Excuse me while I go and hit myself with a hammer

frizzcat Mon 11-Nov-13 23:33:55

*sings not screams

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Mon 11-Nov-13 23:43:33

Belinda Carlisle sings as I imagine a goat would, if goats could speak.

Diana Vickers speaking voice is proper Yorkshire and raspy as fuck, then when she sings it's all twee and "yoooooeeeeeew jurrrrst smaaaahhhlll". Cunt.

BerstieSpotts Mon 11-Nov-13 23:51:28
BerstieSpotts Mon 11-Nov-13 23:52:20

Or even this, for even more goat-interrupted singing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3iOLJkIXXo

WrenNatsworthy Mon 11-Nov-13 23:52:49

Meeeeeowwwwww! (You lot, not the singers you're ripping to shreds).

I don't think you'd ever find a bunch of men trashing male vocalists in this way.

serin Mon 11-Nov-13 23:56:04

Kyla La Grange is amazing, underrated and writes her own stuff.

She rocks grin

Queenofthehill Tue 12-Nov-13 00:02:49

Frizzcat grin grin grin

ProfondoRosso Tue 12-Nov-13 00:05:12

Haim - they are brilliant singers, with a lot of guts. Lorde too, she has great control of her voice. And Solange Knowles (wee sister of Beyonce , completely different material), her last album was amazing.

seasalt Tue 12-Nov-13 00:05:29

Totally agree. Hate that Ellie Goulding cover of The Waterboys. And that awful one who got voted off the X Factor.

monicalewinski Tue 12-Nov-13 00:06:07

frizzcat and MermaidAvenue, you are both AWFUL! I have a cramp in my side now from laughing. Poor Katie Melua and her bicycles!

YoniTime Tue 12-Nov-13 00:08:07

Glad it's not just me. I can't stand twee singing.

WrenNatsworthy Tue 12-Nov-13 00:13:59

All singers have a style that they feel most comfortable with. It's just not going to be everyone's favourite biscuits.

To say Kylie started it with Confide in me is bollocks. I fucking love that track.What about Melanie's Ruby Tuesday? Or Minnie Ripperton.

monicA grin there was a slyly-concealed compliment for Regina in there somewhere just to prove I don't hate everything

GoshAnneGorilla Tue 12-Nov-13 02:28:07

Wren - rubbish. The trend for breathy, acoustic covers is bandwagon jumping at it's most tedious and fully deserving of the kicking it's got on here.

AgadorSpartacus Tue 12-Nov-13 06:49:07

This ^

I presume you missed the bit about Kylie admitting that she puts it on.

Just because you "fucking love that track" does not make the fact that it's a pile of affected tripe the truth.

and come on. If you haven't noticed the current saturation of this awful style you've got to be tootling around with your ears jammed shut. (generic you)

JumpingJackSprat Tue 12-Nov-13 07:06:03

I haven't heard of a couple of the sinners recommendedabove.. I'll have to seek them out. I love pink for her strong non affected and authentic voice. She does covers on tour - such as highway to hell and bohemian rhapsody. Check em out they're amazing. I really don't get why people get all tray eyed over an advert anyway. The company are still trying to sell you shit you don't need with our without breathy little girl singers.

And to the pp that said men would not do this to men singers - I'm more than happy to slag off shit x factor style singers.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 12-Nov-13 07:07:04

YADNBU I fucking hate this kind of stuff too.

And as for Lilly Allen murdering covering one of my favourite songs I am speechless

But my personal bugbear at the moment is the new Celine Dion song. I wish he hadn't fucking loved her back to fucking life because then I wouldn't have to listen to her shouting at me down the radio without a single modicum of emotion, light and shade or subtlety at all angry

BitOutOfPractice Tue 12-Nov-13 07:10:52

And while I'm on a roll. Jessie fucking J. Never sings one note when three will do angry

SorrelForbes Tue 12-Nov-13 07:13:45

Can't slide the singing of anyone mentioned here (with he exception of Pink). I love Caro Emerald's voice but it's not really 'pop'

SorrelForbes Tue 12-Nov-13 07:13:58

*abide

BitOutOfPractice Tue 12-Nov-13 07:22:51

Who was it that mentioned Nouvelle Vague? Friend took me to see them after raving about them for months. Oh. My. God. I couldn't believe how my ears were being assaulted with their twee French kookiness. Still give me the rage now and me and my friend had a bit of a row about it

CherHorowitzsDad Tue 12-Nov-13 07:24:18

I can't bear lily Allen's voice or persona, so affected.

Beyoncé has the worst voice IMO, especially that song where she sings 'oh oh my bway-bay' (baby)

Katy Perry screeches.

CherHorowitzsDad Tue 12-Nov-13 07:27:22

And thank gawd Duffy has gone. I hate all that warbly trilling.

She, Pixie Twat, Aguilera and Jessie J all guilty of this crime.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 12-Nov-13 07:31:22

I feel we have uncovered a deep, throbbing vein of irritation here

harryhausen Tue 12-Nov-13 07:38:29

It's not just the girls who do the most affected, weak breathy voices. The absolute worst culprit is a guy who calls himself 'passenger' and sings 'Let her go'. Annoys the fuck out of me. I can't do links but if you find his performance on Jools Holland it will make you eat your own ears.

I hate the women shouters too. Beyoncé is the worst. Love Adele and Lana Del Ray though.

Amy Winehouse had the most slurred voice ever.

Pan Tue 12-Nov-13 07:44:21

Someone on this thread was dising Minnie Ripperton AND Melanie......they will be hunted down like dawg.

CherHorowitzsDad Tue 12-Nov-13 07:50:34

And nasal singers as well. Like that bint from Evanescence. And poor old Kylie.

Dolores o'riordans whoops used to make me shudder as well years ago.

CherHorowitzsDad Tue 12-Nov-13 07:51:43

Oh no I love Minnie Ripperton god rest her soul.

Marilyn Monroe can be lined up with the rest of these terrible singers though.

MitMopse Tue 12-Nov-13 07:52:59

Hahaha YES to this thread I bloody hate it! Cannot abide the Lidl ad or those insipid breathy covers of classic records (Chaka Khan sacrilege a prime example). Just eugh.

ptpan Tue 12-Nov-13 08:10:17

Bo Bruce from The Voice
Shocking

MiaowTheCat Tue 12-Nov-13 08:55:58

Husband's comment on the JL ad when it started to be mentioned in the media... "Ok what decent song are they murdering this year"

Hate the warbly ickle girlie twee stuff... more than the brutally stabbing each note to death wibbling up and down to it 97 times that the "diva" lot have always done (I'm sure it's a competition to see how many extra notes they can add into Star Spangled Banner at the Superbowl from some of them)

BitOutOfPractice Tue 12-Nov-13 09:00:25

Miaow, graham norton described Jessie J's singing style as "no note left unsung" which summed it up perfectly for me!

DownstairsMixUp Tue 12-Nov-13 09:03:05

Kate Nash was the worst. She just spoke and sold records. FUCK OFF NASH.

CherHorowitzsDad Tue 12-Nov-13 09:05:09

Paloma faith. Ghastly and affected.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 12-Nov-13 09:08:04

Oh I'm so with you OP. Slap the lot of them warbling breathless wenches with a wet kipper.

BoredWench Tue 12-Nov-13 09:13:39

Lily Allen can fuck the fuck right off...

Her awful cover of Keane is delivered with passion of a VAT collector....

X factor or Lily Allen for Xmas #1.....We're fucked.

mirandabee Tue 12-Nov-13 09:21:37

Completely agree that the Lily Allen mockney cover of Keane is so so wrong! Not only that, but apparently JL paid her £7 million to inflict that upon us.

ebwy Tue 12-Nov-13 09:22:50

The person who ruined "wherever you will go" deserves a smack in the face with a cactus! It's a really good song wgen done properly (by The Calling, years before some woman with respiratory difficulties tried to kill it) and hearing it wheezed through makes me feel stabby!

CherHorowitzsDad Tue 12-Nov-13 09:23:51

7 million quid? Noooooooo surely not fgs.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 12-Nov-13 09:27:21

Miranda I think the whole ad cost less than that

The only consolation for me is that it'll make cash for the keane boys. Who I happen to love

MrsEricBana Tue 12-Nov-13 09:30:39

Agree with all of the above but surely the Lidl ad wouldn't work if she didn't breathily lisp out "These Lidl things"?

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes Tue 12-Nov-13 09:43:47

Ooh yes, I stand corrected. Gabrielle Aplin.
Sia Furler is fantastic, I love her voice (and anything to do with Zero 7) soooo much.

To be fair, that Keane song was nauseating whoever sang it, although admittedly it was catchy. But Christ, those lyrics! It's like a GCSE student being asked to write a poem "in the pastoral genre":

THE PLACE
by Charlie Smith

There was a place
And I went there
There was earth
And there was a river
And a tree
And the primary associated emotions with this genre are reconnection with the land, which appealed to a post-Industrial revolution Victorian audience, and nostalgia for that perceived lost time
The end

ninilegsintheair Tue 12-Nov-13 10:23:20

so glad somebody else knows who originally did Wherever You Will Go, ebwy grin. The Calling were awesome (what happened to them anyway?) and that butchered version of their song makes me see red.

Coupon Tue 12-Nov-13 10:24:25

This is why I like opera. You won't find many weak-voiced women!

Queen of the Night

BoredWench Tue 12-Nov-13 10:43:53

Plate....

Sia from Zero 7 is amazing, brings out a slight girlcrush from me....

PeteHornberger Tue 12-Nov-13 10:44:28

Ah, my spiritual home-most of the singers mentioned here give me the rage, nice to find I'm not alone grin

Whilst we're on it, I also have a growing hatred for kooky, quirky bands like Noah and the Whale-just fuck off. There's a song like this on the current VW advert and I have to turn over whenever it's on, such is the irritation. The lyrics are ridiculous "you and me sitting in the park, you and me trying not to fart" - all of 15 mins spent creating that masterpiece.

jellyandbeans Tue 12-Nov-13 11:00:52

My son, who is 16, informed me last night that there is going to be an anther internet campaign to try and get AC/DC to number one for Christmas! not sure how true this is but will surely piss off the x factor winner this year, as it did a few years back when rage against the machine beat the x factor winner to the number one Christmas slot!! I don't mind Adele but what is it these days with slowing down fast songs? Singers and songwriters have run out of ideas I think...

vladthedisorganised Tue 12-Nov-13 11:17:51

I have to defend Bjork - a tinny ickle voice she ain't.

Now this is a cover version that worked IMO. Admittedly it slows down the original, but it's not quite a Twinings/ John Lewis advert style..

frizzcat Tue 12-Nov-13 12:29:20

Ebwy

deserves a smack in the face with a cactus!
That's fantastic I'm using that in every day conversation grin

BitOutOfPractice Tue 12-Nov-13 12:33:01

Mermaid I'm giving you a hard stare

LimburgseVlaai Tue 12-Nov-13 12:34:01

There used to be a great singer called Lydia Lunch.

And there is a MNer with that nickname. Are they by any chance related? Or is it a coincidence?

womma Tue 12-Nov-13 13:02:13

Lilly sodding Allen did not get paid £7 million for the JL advert! The whole ad cost that, including the budget for paying for it on primetime tv slots.

She was undoubtedly overpaid for the dreary warbling, but for fuck's sake, if she'd been paid that much I would have to emigrate.

mrsericbana I thought that's why they'd chosen it to behonest simply because it says 'Lidl things' ... still makes me roar with barely contained rage when I hear it though!!!

ephemeralfairy Tue 12-Nov-13 13:18:07

Lana del Ray started it!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE6wxDqdOV0

You WILL be enraged by this. Just warning you.

frizzcat Tue 12-Nov-13 13:18:40

I'm throwing a man into the mix for the sake of balance (although I did throw Michael Bolton in earlier)
The lead singer of Muse that man sings like someone is squeezing his clangers

Charliefarlie1192 Tue 12-Nov-13 13:21:10

singing in a sweet little cockney accent also really pisses me off

ProfondoRosso Tue 12-Nov-13 14:31:15

To be fair to Lana del Rey, I do think Video Games is an amazing song, even one of the best of the last 20 years or so. The turns in the melody are so subtle. And the video's great. But I think once she got big, it all went a bit wrong. Now she's kind of playing up to what people want her to be, IMHO, and it doesn't feel half as intelligent or creative.

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Tue 12-Nov-13 14:35:49

That Lidl advert gives me the rage, ugh annoying singing voice.

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes Tue 12-Nov-13 16:04:38

Ooh! Ooh! I've thought of another one- the XX (male and female singers) - really, really quiet, understated, pathetic vocals. And yet they get loads of critical acclaim. I don't get it- they do the melodic equivalent of whispering the whole way through every song. Real teeth itching stuff.
Agreed re. Noah and the Whale. Awful.

Aarow Tue 12-Nov-13 16:48:13

YANBU.

One Direction is getting on my nerves hmm

(Tbf, they DO kind of fit the whole description).

Eliza22 Tue 12-Nov-13 18:58:54

Diana Vickers was on Never Mind The Buzzcocks this week. We had NO IDEA who she was till the credits rolled. She came across as utterly stupid (not a word I like). All giggly and didn't know her own lyrics and just... Silly. I remember her on X Factor, being just the same. Miss Vickers is a (baffling) advert for going a long, long way on a teeny-tiny bit of talent. Landed on her feet, that one!

ProfondoRosso Tue 12-Nov-13 18:59:39

Oh Lord, Plate, the XX. I used to work in quite a classy shop and they played the XX non stop. It's bleedin' advert music! And they played Noah and the Whale. That made me want to nut someone.

peppersaunt Tue 12-Nov-13 19:57:54

Yay! I'm not a grumpy old (40-something) lady! What I hate is the audible nose breathing. Think it's down to the auto-tune?

maudpringle Tue 12-Nov-13 20:32:13

Can't stand Katie Melau voice at all, dreadful songs too but her other half is damn hot smile

WrenNatsworthy Wed 13-Nov-13 19:00:28

Back 2 days later to defend myself grin

I don't care that Kylie was 'putting it on', when she recorded 'Confide in me'. That track was genius. Music is noises put together. Changing a singing style is like changing an instrument to make a different sound. I happen to like that particular sound.

To Pan. You misunderstood me. I love Melanie's Ruby Tuesday. I adore Minnie Ripperton. I was using them both to illustrate a point, that breathy singing is a style as old as the hills.

Another poster got angry with me about that, because she said ' if I haven't noticed the saturation of the style I'm going round with my ears jammed shut'.
I listen to 6 music at home, last FM, use spotify, YouTube. I have a voracious appetite for music and seek it out. I don't watch x factor or listen to radio 1 much, but I dip in and out of both of those places occasionally to see what ' the kids' might be listening to.

Currently I love Amanda Palmer, First Aid Kit, The Staves, Taylor Swift, Lennon and Maisy, Bat for Lashes... I won't go on.

I love female singers of all kinds, and though it ain't all my cup of tea, I applaud ANY woman that gets up on stage and tries to entertain.

I hate how downright nasty some women become when dissing other women's voices.
How many of you are singers or performers yourselves?

mrsmalcolmreynolds Wed 13-Nov-13 20:09:01

If you want a good female cover of Ruby Tuesday check out Joan Baez. Now there is a non-breathy, non-"ten notes where one will do" singer, and she can write a bit too.

I was hoping someone else would mention Pixie Lott. I can't bear her voice. It is so fake and put on; how the end of every lyric is extended into a faux-throaty-growl. It makes me stabby every time I hear her.

I hate that wherever you will go song. I can't fucking stand that bullshit about jar of hearts either. As for the blokes, there is a special place in hell reserved for that twat from Owl City. One million extra rrrrrs at the end of every word. AAAARRRGGHHH!!

Fishandjam Thu 14-Nov-13 08:21:59

wrennatsworthy, I think you're being a tad unfair. If someone's only allowed to criticise another's singing voice if they're a singer themselves, why not extend that to other walks of life? So you can only criticise, ooh, a painter and decorator if you're in the same trade?

Also, I don't see why dissing a female's voice is somehow letting down the sisterhood. (Though for the record, I also dislike the voices of Michael Stipe, Ronan Keating, and the singer from Kings Of Leon. Just a personal thing, I appreciate that it makes me a philistine to tons of other folk!)

What I don't like about the current crop of breathy ickle girl singing voices is the disservice I think it does to women. I've been on the planet 40 years and I think we're going backwards in so many ways on female emancipation. More than ever, I feel that women are required to conform to a saccharine, airbrushed, uber-feminine, helpless, compliant template where even having short hair is enough to attract accusations of lesbianism (yes, that's happened to me). Just look at all the shite around cupcakes, for example. To me, the breathy ickle girl singers are just part of that problem.

Rant over (and believe me, I'd have gone on longer if I wasn't posting from my phone!) grin

WrenNatsworthy Thu 14-Nov-13 11:28:54

Not liking someone else's voice is perfectly fine. But there's been some pretty violent language used on this thread which is unnecessary.

I don't like Texas, they bore me senseless. I don' t like Charelene Spiteri's voice. It doesn't make want to ' flay her alive' to quote someone on this thread. It was that sort of thing that irritated me.

The record industry is male dominated and aimed at young people. Undisputed.

I don't think that you can lay the blame for that at the feet of women who choose to sing sweetly, or whose voices are naturally that way. Kate Bush, Tori Amos. Naturally sweet voices. Both kick ass women.

WrenNatsworthy Thu 14-Nov-13 11:34:26

I don't know much about Diana Vickers, is she only able to sing in one way, is that the only way she sounds good ( to her fans I mean)?

Fishandjam Thu 14-Nov-13 11:39:07

There's a difference between sweet (but strong) voices a la Bush, Amos et al, and the stuff this thread has been about. But I agree that some of the language has been well OTT.

WrenNatsworthy Thu 14-Nov-13 11:46:44

Cool, it was the vitriol that annoyed me. I get passionate about people covering songs and annihilating them just as much as the next person. Don't get me started on Emma Bunton ruining The Sundays, but you know, no-one deserves to die or anything grin

ZebraZeebra Thu 14-Nov-13 12:07:24

It's all in the ear of the beholder though, isn't it grin

Completely agree with everything about the awful, breathy, respiratory murdering of original songs. But I could never, ever agree with anything that suggests Amy Winehouse wasn't an absolutely original, incredible talent of her time - and others, probably. I'll never forgive Lily bloody Allen for taking the piss out of Amy years ago on Jools Holland. Lily WISHES she was as good as Amy.

The best from Lily Allen was the Katy Brand spoof: Hi, I'm Lily Allen...!

I think on the lidl advert they purposefully wanted it to sound like 'all those lidl things'.

I'm absolutely with you all on the hating breathy, faux vulnerable shite. It is just the current fashion in pop music (so it will go away, but it'll be replaced by some other abomination).

CinammonGirl Thu 14-Nov-13 13:21:03

Oh god the twinings tea advert - "if ah cooooowad then ah woooooad" pronounce the words properly! And another vote for Diana The Claw Vickers, she gives me the rage!

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Thu 14-Nov-13 13:34:05

I have a male that does it too, and that is Passenger.

Ed Sheeran and Passenger check out how low passenger goes sometimes.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 14-Nov-13 13:48:40

Can I add whiny bands beginning with 'The'?

The Fray
The Calling (who ironically wrote the Whe-wever you will go song).

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Thu 14-Nov-13 13:49:33

The Script.......

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 14-Nov-13 13:50:56

The Feeling.

Oh this could be a whole new thread!

Ilovexmastime Thu 14-Nov-13 13:52:29

YANBU, I almost started a thread on this yesterday after hearing the new Lily Allen song.

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Thu 14-Nov-13 13:57:42

The Wanted.....fecking hate boy groups.

One Direction make me itch.

Not low or breathy, just really really shit.

Bodicea Thu 14-Nov-13 14:27:33

Sorry to go against the grain but I prefer those sort of voices to the generic big ballad warblers that dominated for
Such a long time. They all sound the same trying to outdo each other with the amount of vibrato they can get in one note. Annoying!

Fishandjam Thu 14-Nov-13 15:47:19

Actually, yes, Ed Sheeran. What is all the fuss about? A male version of the issue at hand. Now I tend to prefer music that you can mosh along to, so my views may be a little... blinkered, but even my DH (whose tastes musically are much more catholic than mine) thinks he's rubbish.

Maybe I'm just getting old. It's all exemplified for me by the remaking of Do They Know It's Christmas a few years ago. The original was punchy, bouncy and generally brilliant. The cover was - well, flaccid is the only word I can bring to mind. When I were a lass it were all better....

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