To want my DD to be born a week before or after my due date due to others birthdays

(61 Posts)
Hotmad Mon 11-Nov-13 17:55:53

My boyfriends sister and my best friends daughter both have birthdays 1 day either side of my due date, I would like my DD to have birthday a little bit separated from these 2 events.....

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 11-Nov-13 17:57:32


TarkaTheOtter Mon 11-Nov-13 17:57:33

YANBU if it would make your life a bit easier with birthday plans in the future. Hope you get your wish.

BoohPear Mon 11-Nov-13 17:59:28

My baby was due the day after my sister birthday, she ended up coming 11 days late. Unless you are planning a c-section the baby will come when she comes.

cathpip Mon 11-Nov-13 17:59:42

In my opinion yanbu, my ds was born the day after my birthday and ever since my birthday has paled into insignificance as "it's only 1 more sleep till my birthday mummy" and I spend the day making and decorating his cake! Here's hoping your daughter is fashionably late smile

SantanaLopez Mon 11-Nov-13 17:59:57

YABU. It's only a birthday.

CaptainSweatPants Mon 11-Nov-13 18:00:32

Ha you should have planned better !
Not much you can do about it now
But first children are usually late

jkklpu Mon 11-Nov-13 18:01:29


Hotmad Mon 11-Nov-13 18:03:55

If she's anything like her mother then she will be late as she'll be too lazy/comfy to budge anyway! Lol. But i do realise she will come when she comes ..... Maybe I could forge the birth certificate!!!!! wink

JeanSeberg Mon 11-Nov-13 18:04:12

Lol I thought you were going to say your birthday and husband's birthday, not two randomly related birthdays! Is this for real?

Ilanthe Mon 11-Nov-13 18:05:57

My sister spent most of my pregnancy lightheartedly threatening me with all sorts if my DS2 arrived on her birthday. He turned up 3 days before, much to everyone's relief. grin

CrohnicallyTired Mon 11-Nov-13 18:12:35

Boohpear- even with a planned c section, baby will come when she comes! I never made it to my planned date!

My baby was born a day before my niece's birthday. This year DD was 1, so we did her presents, cake etc on her birthday and had a joint family outing on my niece's birthday. And we plan to do similar in the future. In actual fact, it's saving us a bit of money, because otherwise we would end up going on 2 separate days out to celebrate!

oodyboodyboocs Mon 11-Nov-13 18:14:50

yanbu, my dd arrived early on her dad's birthday totally stole his thunder, he was pretty much ignored as everyone who arrived to wish him happy birthday was completely distracted by the new arrival. mind you her uncle and grandpa's birthday's are also that week so she could have arrived on any of them.

Mind you, you can always team up with your friend for party's and save both of you loads of expense when they're older!

my nephew and neice have the same birthday (different parents), I thinks its lovely and easy to remember my DC was due the same months so I hoped it would be the same day, unfortunatley he was in a hurry and is 4 days before smile

CrohnicallyTired Mon 11-Nov-13 18:16:55

Ilanthe- my SIL actually wanted my DD to share a birthday with my niece, we never really thought it would happen since my due date was 2 weeks later, and almost a month after my SIL's due date had been (Just to clarify, there were a few years between them, but you do kind of figure first babies would be late). Then of course, I had my section planned for 4 days after DN's birthday so figured that was that.

CrohnicallyTired Mon 11-Nov-13 18:19:17

That post made almost no sense at all!

Let me try again. My SIL was due at the end of one month and her DD was born in the middle of the next month. So when my due date was the end of that month, we really expected DD to be born the month after that, since our due dates were a month apart, we thought their birthdays would be too.

Rufus44 Mon 11-Nov-13 18:41:21


I booked ds3s c section for the day before sister in laws birthday so he didn't have to share

I bet all his future relatives will have birthdays on his day just to foil my cunning plan

Good luck

Branleuse Mon 11-Nov-13 18:43:00

you can want what you like. Doesnt make the slightest difference

cogitosum Mon 11-Nov-13 18:45:09

I bet when you get to your due date you'll be desperate for her to come!

NewBlueCoat Mon 11-Nov-13 18:47:27

YABU for such unrelated birthdays - you do realise that at some point you/your child will meet someone who shares his/her birthday?

HAving said that, I pulled out all the stops to ensure dc3's scheduled arrival via CS wasn't on the same day as my dss' birthday. I think that is a little different from the examples you give, though. the arrival of a new half sibling can be a difficult time anyway - being usurped on oyur own birthday by your younger brother would be asking for trouble, imo. In reality, this meant delaying my scheduled CS by 3 days (intervening weekend). Consultant was happy with this, mostly (woudl not have delayed if there was any medical reason not to) - he was a little worried as I was measuring small for dates, but then I always do (ds born fit and healthy, at over 8lbs - consultant was shocked, and asked for a re-weigh grin as he was so convinced that ds would be a little tiddler!)

BackforGood Mon 11-Nov-13 18:56:06

Of courser YANBU to hope that your dc has their own, separate, special day, but ultimately, all these babies come when they want, don't they, so no point in fretting about it smile

Anchoress Mon 11-Nov-13 19:38:52

You're joking, right?

MummyPig24 Mon 11-Nov-13 20:28:47

Dc3 is due on dc2s 4th birthday. Dc2 was a week over due so I know how that feels. I would rather they didn't have to share a birthday, and would prefer this dc to hold on a few days. It's gonna happen when it happens though so I'm not stressing about it!

Hotmad Mon 11-Nov-13 20:31:25

This post was meant to be a bit tongue in cheek really.... Of course when DD comes I will be thrilled whatever day that is and it won't really affect my life.... I just thought it would be nice for baby to have her own day....

elskovs Mon 11-Nov-13 20:35:36

Bloody hell. Im due soon and I can hardly sleep for worrying about birth defects/problems.

YANBU but YABVV immature, Im surprised you could be bothered to think it, let alone write it down and ask for opinions.

YANBU - I knew DD was going to be late so I hoped she'd be born at Hallowe'en as it's a cool date. Nothing wrong with hoping smile Of course, they never do what you want (DD was an extra 4 days late and shares a preBonfire Night birthday with a close friend instead 11 days lateOMG ) We all know you'll be happy whatever.

Hotmad Mon 11-Nov-13 23:59:31

As I said elskovs, I was not serious..... I am new to mumsnet and from what I saw, this section can be a bit tongue in cheek. I am a first time mum and more than anything want my baby to be healthy and happy over anything else. What you said made me feel guilty, then I realised that you do not know me and I shouldn't take your judgement to heart, I didn't feel there was a need for you to be so judgemental when you do not know me or my circumstances. Wish I could delete the post now but apparently I can't. Maybe I'm a hormonal pregnant nutty woman for possibly overreacting this way but that upset me.

TarkaTheOtter Tue 12-Nov-13 00:48:21

Don't be sad or feel guilty hotmad, it was pretty obvious your op was lighthearted.

IRCL Tue 12-Nov-13 00:54:25

YANBU OP, I'm due dc2 on the 17th, my nephews birthday is the 16th, It's my daughters on the 19th and my other nephews on the 20th!!!


elskovs Tue 12-Nov-13 00:54:32

Gosh yes you are overreacting! Why on Earth would you feel guilty?

I was hardly attacking you, just saying, you must have a lot of spare time on your hands!

Definitely stay out of AIBU until you are feeling less delicate!!

Weegiemum Tue 12-Nov-13 01:01:03

YABU, these things work out.

My dd1 was born on 6/2. Ds was due on 13/2 (2 years on). So, as dd1 was early, it was always going to be close, really.

He turned up early, late on 3/2 (10 days early - reckon it's the only time he'll ever be on time!!) and missed my Dad's birthday by a whisker. I'd joked "ha ha if he's born on Dad's birthday I'll give him Dad's name" even though we'd agreed a first name (original) and middle name (dh's Grandfather). So we stuck my Dad's name in too - ds loves all the "hey look at all my names!" stuff (he's 11).

So my dad, who always thought his birthday was unique in our family, ended up being bracketed by 2 grandchildren - now have family birthdays on 3/2, 4/2, 6/2.

And it's great. It's fun. We do joint cakes if we visit. My dad sees it as a great thing that 2 of his grand kids (almost) share his birthday. But in our family it's kind of a tradition - our wedding anniversary is my step mums birthday (and she's my real mum in spirit), my brother got married on my sills birthday - there are more!

Sharing birthdays is ok (even now when dd1 is coming up 14, ds coming up 11). Dd2 (10 this month) is actually cross that her birthday doesn't match with anyone!!

And you know what - no one cares

hyenafunk Tue 12-Nov-13 08:44:33

My DS was due on my DF's birthday. We actually found it pretty cool that they might share a birthday but in the end he was three days late. It's never affected anything and I don't really see how it would... But I guess when it's your first DC you want them to be special and individual and all the rest.

I remember always hating it when someone used DS's name. I actually fell out with someone I felt had copied his name (they used a different variation of his middle name as the first name and his first name as the middle name). Now with 3 DC I couldn't care less.

Floggingmolly Tue 12-Nov-13 08:50:52

God almighty hmm

<Idly wonders who on this thread would best be described as "a hormonal pregnant nutty woman for possibly overreacting". Decides it's not the OP>

YANBU. DS was due two days before DH's birthday, but was finally induced 4 days before mine. And all shortly after Christmas. It's rubbish! I'm considering celebrating the cat's birthday just to give us an excuse to eat cake in the void which is the rest of the year. grin

Quoteunquote Tue 12-Nov-13 10:55:43

Seriously ridiculous, I really hope you were just bored and wanted to start a thread.

Writerwannabe83 Tue 12-Nov-13 10:57:22

I think the OP was joking grin

Nothing wrong with a bit of silliness on a Tuesday morning smile

You should have thought about this 9 months ago, shouldn't you?

Writerwannabe83 Tue 12-Nov-13 11:01:44

My baby is due at an undesirable time smile

When I told my sister me and DH were TTC she said, "Just make sure it isn't a March baby...."

Baby is due on March 24th smile
Thankfully she laughed when I 'broke the news' smile

Mattissy Tue 12-Nov-13 11:03:17

My birthday is on the 10th, my sisters is the 12th. We love it, never shared a party ever, my mam would never have allowed that. She would spend the day between arranging the second party, in fact the 11th is officially "the day between" in our family.

SilverApples Tue 12-Nov-13 11:03:58

I didn't want to share my birthday with DS, and very obligingly, he turned up two weeks early. smile

Dobbiesmum Tue 12-Nov-13 11:07:07

My MIL almost wept when she found out my birthday month, my DH's side have 12 birthdays in the same month, 5 of us on consecutive days!!
Joking or not, you are soon NBU! grin

AdoraBell Tue 12-Nov-13 11:08:11

Speaking as someone who was told

"you'll have To avoid X month, we have too many that month already"

(and she wasn't joking.)

YAB a slight bit U, but not in an over blown way.

romina Tue 12-Nov-13 19:37:12

Hate to break it to you but your baby will be sharing a day with thousands of others, no matter what day he/she arrives....

lighthousesea Tue 12-Nov-13 19:39:43

YABU - be grateful to have a healthy baby smile

DawnOfTheDee Tue 12-Nov-13 19:44:04

DD2 is due 2 days after DD1's birthday. It would be fab if she could be say a week or so late. This would also take her birthday to just after payday which would mean slightly less shit parties/presents. Her call..... wink

BackforGood Tue 12-Nov-13 19:48:08

I have to agree with Baroness Bomburst - some people need to understand that, whereas MN can be great when you need real help with a serious problem, it is also OK to post idle ponderings as you go about your day, and it wasn't hard to see that was what the OP was doing in this case.

jacks365 Tue 12-Nov-13 20:02:07

I always said my eldest wouldn't be born on her due date. She's always done her best to prove me wrong. Ignore the grumpy ones its a long time ago but I still remember the excitement and anticipation of 'when will she be born'

Hotmad Tue 12-Nov-13 20:37:22

Thank you to those who understood that it was a little bit of a jokey thread, being new to this forum I wonder if any place here for banter? May be I over react but as new mum It's not nice to hear that people thought that when
Baby is born is more important to me than being healthy. That's all. I like mumsnet though, being pregnant and an upcoming mum has opened up a whole new world to me and it's nice to see what others do and how they cope.

I'd try chat - people can be a bit arsey on AIBU where they wouldn't if it was posted under another topic.

Hotmad I think it was easy to see you were idly wondering and not too serious. As soon as I saw your OP I thought , well you are NBU to hope but babies come when they want!

I have examples in my family that it works both ways - DS1 was due on DH's birthday, but didn't arrive till 9 days later, and DS3 arrived on my birthday, despite not being due till a week later.

Good luck, and enjoy your new baby whenever she arrives thanks

Mylovelyboy Tue 12-Nov-13 20:49:29

What a strange thread confused. As long as the baby and you are healthy does it matter. You sound very childish OP Sounds like you should still be playing with your dolls. Sorry to be harsh but there are people out there waiting to give birth to children that will be born with defects or not well and you are worrying about birthdays

cjdamoo Tue 12-Nov-13 20:55:45

Oh I get it. My babies are always late My dd was due on ds 2s birthday which incidently is 11 days after ds 3s birthday so I am not that great at family planning. I worried not,I always go at least 11 days over. I went into labour the day before Ds birthday and Madam made her appearance at 12.30 am on ds 10th birthday. At 6am he came through to our bedroom and got a bit of a shock but he declared her the best present ever

DumSpiroSpero Tue 12-Nov-13 21:49:23

Doesn't matter if you're being UR or not, it'll happen when it happens!

Fwiw my DD's birthday is on 13th September, I have one cousin on 11th, one on 12th and my best friend recently welcomed her long-awaited first baby on 14th. My own birthday is on the 20th!

Tbh the only time it's been an issue is when I turned 30 - we had a big party the week before for DD's 1st birthday so mine was a bit of a non-event by comparison!

Mylovelyboy Did you mean to be so rude? Actually, yes, having read a lot of your posts lately, I'm sure that you did. Only this time you forgot to add that you weren't trying to be goady. HTH.

Floggingmolly Wed 13-Nov-13 15:09:57

That wasn't particularly rude, Baroness???

Fakebook Wed 13-Nov-13 15:14:34

YABU. They're not really close relations are they?

Dd2 was born 2 days before dd1's birthday this week. I'm going to have to sort out 2 birthdays within days of each other every year for the rest of my life. That's harder than what you've described.

Floggingmolly Maybe she's having an off-day? grin

diddl Wed 13-Nov-13 15:56:04

Due date?

If you're like me, it'll be fairly random compared to baby's arrival.

PFB 12 wks early

PSB 4wks early!

GoldenGytha Wed 13-Nov-13 15:57:36

None of mine were born anywhere near their due dates,

DD1 born in July 9 weeks early
DD2 born in January 8 weeks early,

DD2 was born 4 days before my birthday, and I love the fact that our birthdays are so close together.

I am 46, and have never met anyone who shares my birthday.

clarequilty Wed 13-Nov-13 16:26:49

I chose my birthday to have my daughter by planned section.

I regret that now I have to host children's parties in our flat when I want a day wining and dining!

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