to leave my 6 yr old 'in charge' of my 17 month old?

(40 Posts)
FigRolls Sun 10-Nov-13 23:03:39

I have an en suite bathroom. I close the bedroom door, leave the bathroom door open and have a large mirrored wardrobe so I can see into the bedroom. Aibu to leave 6 yr old playing with 16 month old when I shower?

Norem Sun 10-Nov-13 23:04:44

No, why?

ReluctantBeing Sun 10-Nov-13 23:04:56

I think that's ok.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sun 10-Nov-13 23:05:40

Yanbu. Sounds fine to me.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 10-Nov-13 23:05:50

That's fine. You're allowed to wash!

Has a "friend" told you it's not ok?

Sounds fine to me. So long as the 6yo knows not to open any stairgates etc.

What else would you do?

Absolutely fine IMO.

I found it easier to have 16m old in the bathroom, on the floor whilst I was in the shower (or in the shower/bath with me) than give my 6 yr old responsibility tbh.

Your set up sounds fine but I'm not a fan of leaving elder children responsible for siblings.

Raddy Sun 10-Nov-13 23:07:00

Yes, I would think it is fine.

SanityClause Sun 10-Nov-13 23:07:32

Absolutely fine. She would be able to call you in case of some kind of emergency. It's not like you are expecting her to be able to deal with an emergency by herself.

FigRolls Sun 10-Nov-13 23:12:56

Yes, a friend was shocked...! Tbh I'd leave toddler alone in same situation if 6 year old wasn't there so I'm obviously very irresponsible. Bedroom only contains a bed as all wardrobes are built in so no dangers. 6 year old knows not to open door/stairgate and toddler can't. Toddler gets claustrophobic if shut in en suite with me plus floor is cold in winter, slippery when wet etc.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 10-Nov-13 23:13:15

This is what anyone with more than one child would do. And in most cases the eldest would be younger than 6. Yanbu.

Strumpetron Sun 10-Nov-13 23:14:15

That's fine!

Jesus it's a wonder women, especially single parents, get the chance to wash or have a wee at all with people being judgey arses.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 10-Nov-13 23:14:55

How does your friend shower then? Assuming she/he has children?

Joysmum Sun 10-Nov-13 23:15:18

Such a sad reflection of society in general that you even feel the need to ask. What the hell are we parents expected to do. I only have one child and didn't have a 6 year pair of extra eyes for the baby when I was in the loo or bath or shower etc.

FigRolls Sun 10-Nov-13 23:17:04

She got her mil round or waited til the evening apparently

Strumpetron Sun 10-Nov-13 23:22:05

Did she hold her poos too grin

DD went on her first Brownie camp at age 7. How on earth is your friend going to cope with her DCs growing independence.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 10-Nov-13 23:24:54

She is absolutely bonkers then op, and way ott.

Yes she is bonkers indeed.

My 2 are 20 months apart. I can't remember what I did with them (sleep deprived haze) but I certainly washed before going out in the morning.

They are now 6 and 7 and never came to any harm!

KeepingUpWithTheJonses Sun 10-Nov-13 23:40:08

Of course it's fine!

Mine are 27 months apart and I used to leave them in the same room when I showered/went to the toilet.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 10-Nov-13 23:46:54

I do remember some heart in mouth moments tho when I left me 23month old and new born and went for a shower. Like the time I couldn't fine newborn and discovered her lined up with loads of dolls/Teddies. Or the time, dd1 'accidentally'rocked Moses basket too much and it tipped over.

BlameItOnTheBogey Sun 10-Nov-13 23:48:58

Mine are 18 months apart and I have always left them playing together while I shower. I made sure the room they were in was child proofed and got on with it.

Mattissy Mon 11-Nov-13 00:08:06

There's 4 years between mine too, I always left ds looking after dd do I could shower, toilet etc.

Probably worse now, when they decide to fight!! Any amount of my stamping feet will not stop them once they've got going.

CanucksoontobeinLondon Mon 11-Nov-13 02:14:39

YANBU. Does your friend expect you to walk around town dirty because you didn't want to leave your six year old in charge for five to ten minutes while you were showering?

perfectstorm Mon 11-Nov-13 04:06:45

I was about to post that leaving them home alone was appalling, and then I read your OP... erm, your friend is batshit. How else do single parents wash? Sedate the toddlers? What? confused

perfectstorm Mon 11-Nov-13 04:08:29

She'd have been more appalled by me - I plinked DS before CBeebies in a childproofed flat, so he couldn't paddle in the loo as I showered! No handy 6 year old to entertain him. DH worked crazy hours at the time and DS wasn't sleeping through. Worked fine!

Pearlsaplenty Mon 11-Nov-13 07:59:23


You are still 'supervising' if something bad happened you would know about it and could sort it out.

Your friend is ridiculous hmm

Taz1212 Mon 11-Nov-13 08:04:02

Good grief it's fine! I thought you were going to say, "while I popped out to the shops" or some other such nonsense! grin

Beastofburden Mon 11-Nov-13 08:08:01

I had three aged barely four and under. I would have smelt like a tramp if I had waited for mothers and MILs, who both live hundreds of miles away. Your friend sounds over-anxious, I hope she lightens up a bit when her DC get older.

Thumbwitch Mon 11-Nov-13 08:09:02

Depends on the toddler, I'd say.

And I say that because I now have a 13mo toddler who is already quite demonic and will get much more so as he becomes steady on his feet and running. DS1 will turn 6 in a couple of weeks, and while he's able to tell me what DS2 is up to, he's too daydreamy himself to leave him in charge as you are doing for any length of time, AND he's not physically able to restrain DS2 from doing any badness.

But if your 6yo is more on the ball than mine, and your 17mo is not a demon-in-waiting, then I can't see the problem! grin

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 11-Nov-13 08:10:06

This is just what you do with kids. Life goes on you have to wee and shower. Your friend is bonkers. Course it's fine.

Thumbwitch Mon 11-Nov-13 08:10:37

Sorry, pressed post too soon...

However, I do actually have time to do stuff because I have a large playpen in which DS2 is bunged whenever he needs to be kept safe. Solves a lot of problems for now - but I can see it won't be long before he works out how to climb out of it...

Mine were 14 months apart and can't honestly remember what I did hmm prob use of stair gates, playpen etc but they survived! Your friend has a lot to learn!

SilverApples Mon 11-Nov-13 08:21:59

4 years between mine, I often left them together when I was in the house and they weren't in sight. I wouldn't have closed the bedroom door.
It is about personalities though, yours and the children's. DD was very sensible, somewhat smug and had a very loud voice to summon me if her brother was in trouble.

mumaa Mon 11-Nov-13 08:22:45


sounds like a fine set up to me, wonder how your friend thinks it should be done? Lock little one in bathroom with you so you can't see what elder DD is doing? Or are you expected to have an audience of 2 trapped in the bathroom with you while you shower?

Lavenderhoney Mon 11-Nov-13 08:31:42

Sounds fine to me, as long as the stairgate if you need one is shut and hard to open for a child. A shower is quick isn't it? Its not as though you are lounging in a bath or popping out in the car!

If one child is very jealous and looking for a chance to hurt the other, I can see the worry, but if you had both in the bathroom and they were playing and went into the bedroom whilst you were cleaning the bath or something- would you race to supervise? I wouldn't. Unless there was a lot of banging and screamingsmile

You can't leave everything til they are asleep! What about putting the bins out in the rain, putting things back upstairs.. All normal daily tasks?

Mine played in the lounge and or watched telly whilst I cooked in the kitchen. I didn't have eyes on them all the time.

hopskipandthump Mon 11-Nov-13 08:40:14

Perfectly fine, depending on the children involved. I left my then almost-4yo with my newborn while I had showers. They both lay on the bed and he chatted to her. I wouldn't have left the 2yo and the newborn because the 2yo wasn't sensible enough.

They are now 6, 4 and 2 and I often leave them all playing together while I'm cooking / doing laundry / showering etc.

Aquariusgirl86 Mon 11-Nov-13 08:45:06

Mine are 15 months apart and only just started leaving them together while I shower they are now 2.5 and 15 months. Until last month I would generally shower when dh was home in the evening or if unavoidable (he works long hours) I'd put the older in her bedroom (child safe with a stair gate) and the younger in the living room, only cause I was scared of older child hugging too tight or accidentally hurting him. But with the age gap you are talking about I'd definitely do what you are doing ; assuming your 6yo doesn't present any worrying behaviours around the toddler. You know your kids and you know what's safe.

Beastofburden Mon 11-Nov-13 10:29:46

must be said that if I had serious concerns about what they would get up to, I would leave the baby in the sitting room in a playpen or similar (assuming s/he was unable to break out of it) and keep the six year old in the bathroom with me. Back in the day, it would be the 2 year old I would isolate, as it were, leaving the baby and the four year old, if I really had to.

The baby is often not the problem!

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