to have expected some sympathy.

(49 Posts)
popmusic84 Thu 07-Nov-13 13:47:11

So I was upstairs with dc supervising bedtime for dc. Suddenly I felt the urge to vomit and was physically sick. Kids just carried on as normal but obviously I wouldn't necessarily expect sympathy from primary aged dc.
However, I went doenstairs to get water and told dh and his response was um!
No sympathy.
Aibu to be pissed off with him.

Isildur Thu 07-Nov-13 13:49:26

I wouldn't get anything other than 'eeeew - why are you telling me?

And then he'd spend the day trying to avoid me in case I was contagious. grin

CoffeeTea103 Thu 07-Nov-13 13:54:43


bundaberg Thu 07-Nov-13 13:55:48


Objection Thu 07-Nov-13 13:56:53

How would you have liked him to react exactly?


YoureBeingASillyBilly Thu 07-Nov-13 13:58:40

You just vomitted! Its really not a big deal. Do you have a bug? Are you pregnant?

Vicki1972 Thu 07-Nov-13 13:58:53

May I be the first to say both LTB and POAS?

Beeyump Thu 07-Nov-13 14:04:02

Yanbu! But then, I probably make too big a deal of being sick. It's just so awful, though.

Rosencrantz Thu 07-Nov-13 14:05:29

Yabu. You're obviously not dead. What did you want, flowers because you vommed?

Beeyump Thu 07-Nov-13 14:07:23

thanks grin

thehorridestmumintheworld Thu 07-Nov-13 14:09:04

I know its not like you wanted a huge fuss but how much does it cost to say "oh dear, hope you aren't feeling too bad why not have a little rest while I watch the kids .

MrsBungleScare Thu 07-Nov-13 14:12:24

I think yabu to be pisaed off. Mildly perturbed maybe!

PukingCat Thu 07-Nov-13 14:14:20

What, he wasn't even interested? That's weird. My dh would definitely give me sympathy and start panicking that he was going to catch it if i suddenly vomited!

IcouldstillbeJoseph Thu 07-Nov-13 14:15:58

Yanbu! I would want a lie down and sympathy in bucket loads! I HATE being sick and it is a full on disaster if I feel in the slightest bit queasy

BrianTheMole Thu 07-Nov-13 14:16:16

Crikey, is it really too much for him to say something sympathetic to you? Of course YANBU.

VanitasVanitatum Thu 07-Nov-13 14:16:58

Would definitely get lots of sympathy! How would you have reacted in his situation?

DidoTheDodo Thu 07-Nov-13 14:17:44

This has conjured up all sorts of very strange pictures in my head of you throwing up all over the kids and no-one noticing...
Are you, in fact, a ghost?

BitsinTatters Thu 07-Nov-13 14:18:02


popmusic84 Thu 07-Nov-13 14:18:54

Barely looked away from tv. I have digestive issues so get problems with bile. Think that caused vomiting. Sorry tmi

hoppingmad Thu 07-Nov-13 14:19:25

Yanbu. I don't understand some of the more harsh yabu responses. You don't have to be dying for someone to show they care.

We always ask if the other is ok, if there's anything we can do etc. I don't understand why you wouldn't opt for a bit of care & compassion in your relationship.

Crowler Thu 07-Nov-13 14:19:48


I'd be extremely pissed off. I would expect something like "you poor thing why don't you get on the couch and I'll bring you some water."

DameDeepRedBetty Thu 07-Nov-13 14:19:58

I'd certainly expect a bit of sympathy! And would also consider POAS ... being sick for no apparent reason isn't something that happens to me.

popmusic84 Thu 07-Nov-13 14:20:24

Just bit of interest.

DameDeepRedBetty Thu 07-Nov-13 14:20:42

xposted with your update. Scrub the POAS bit grin

CoffeeTea103 Thu 07-Nov-13 14:21:49

Sounds like this happens often with the digestive issues so I can see why your DH had no reaction.

popmusic84 Thu 07-Nov-13 14:23:47

It has probably happend maybe 3 times so not too frequently.

PukingCat Thu 07-Nov-13 14:28:42

My dh vomits quite regularly (not through choice) and i always give him sympathy.

Isildur Thu 07-Nov-13 14:32:06

It's a bit unnecessary to have mentioned it really, as you knew you were not really ill/contagious.

What would you do in other circumstances - skip into the room trilling 'Tada! I have constipation!' or 'I have the most amazing piles!' in order to get a reaction?

'Um' seems a perfectly valid response.

Crowler Thu 07-Nov-13 14:34:07

PukingCat, do you have both a puking husband AND a puking cat?

That sounds grim.

Why does your husband vom frequently? I would not cope well with this (vomit phobe)

Crowler Thu 07-Nov-13 14:35:11

Islidur, the OP is not even supposed to mention to her husband that she was sick? shock

Some people find it really traumatizing.

Mylovelyboy Thu 07-Nov-13 14:38:06

YANBU Could have asked if you were alright. brew

I can see that he wouldn't be in the phone to 911, but he could at least offer a glass if water, or a ginger snap!thanks

xCupidStuntx Thu 07-Nov-13 14:53:24

YABU but I hope you're feeling better thanks

Aw no, your yanbu, a bit of sympathy would not go amiss. DH would have my feet up on the settee with blanket, pillow, take away and take over. have some thanks

SunshineMMum Thu 07-Nov-13 15:06:24

YANBU I'd get the same though, unless the boot were on the other foot
and DH would almost require nursing.

Ikabod Thu 07-Nov-13 15:16:08

My DH would ask if I'd stained the carpet/ damaged anything. I'm trying to teach him "people over things". I was upset about something once. He came in the bedroom, then went out and got a damp cloth to wipe my mascara-infused tears off the duvet cover. Afterwards I gently explained that next time he should get tissues and mop me up, we can put the duvet cover in the wash. He genuinely didn't think about it that way until I told him. Similarly when I fell down the stairs and landed on the shoe rack, broke it (bruised my bum). Again, had to remind him that the shoe rack could be replaced and he should ask first about me, then the shoe rack. To be clear, he is a lovely sweet man, just has his priorities a bit screwed up!

popmusic84 Thu 07-Nov-13 16:27:41

That's bad ikabod.

songlark Thu 07-Nov-13 16:36:45

Yanbu, I would have expected sympathy as well even though
I know I wouldn't have got any. I think it's just common courtesy to show a bit of concern, how would he have liked it if you had took to your bed and left him to cope with everything.

DoJo Thu 07-Nov-13 17:56:22

It depends - I throw up a lot, so only mention it to my husband if he asks why I was so long in the bathroom, and don't really expect much beyond an 'oh, right' when I do. But if you don't throw up often or are a bit funny about it then I would at least expect a little sympathy.

SpottyDottie Thu 07-Nov-13 18:57:49

What hoppingmad said. Vomiting is horrible, no matter if it happens regularly to,you because of an existing illness or because you have a bug or are pregnant. I'd expect sympathy every time. Luckily my DH is a very caring kind man. I'm sorry yours wasn't too bothered op. make him pay for it

Lilacroses Thu 07-Nov-13 19:04:23

YA definitely NBU. Am really surprised that some people think you are! How odd of him not to check you are ok or offer you help!

Minty82 Thu 07-Nov-13 19:13:33

YANBU!!! I'm pregnant, so am sick quite frequently at the moment but still expect (and get!) sympathy when it happens. No reaction to your wife being sick out of the blue is bizarre. Hope you're feeling better.

raisah Thu 07-Nov-13 19:56:07

Go and kiss him before you brush your teeth. You will soon get a reaction! grin

Men are generally not very good with the empathy when it comes to sickness.

everlong Thu 07-Nov-13 20:01:35


I wouldn't even bother telling DH that.

I mean what's he going to do with that info?

FortyDoorsToNowhere Thu 07-Nov-13 20:25:03

you have my sympathy. I am sick twice a day every time i brush my teeth.


popmusic84 Thu 07-Nov-13 20:39:52

Guess I was just feeling fragile. Af going on too. So a mixed response. Thank you.

Crowler Thu 07-Nov-13 20:54:26

Maybe I'm TMI with my husband but he'd know straight away if I were sick. But I'm sick like once every ten years.

Opalite Fri 08-Nov-13 12:07:13

Of course YANBU. Nobody likes being sick, it is absolutely horrible! I'm surprised at the YABUs on this thread

WallaceWindsock Fri 08-Nov-13 12:14:03

I don't think YABU! DP normally hears me and comes and holds my hair. I'd be hurt if he didn't even turn from the tv because in our relationship that would be unusual. Some people on this thread obviously operate differently which is fine but it think the fact that it upset you suggests that this isn't what you'd expect his response to be in your relationship, therefore YANBU.

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