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to not get "pampering girls' nights in"?

(88 Posts)
samandi Thu 07-Nov-13 10:33:59

Are they really that fun? Wouldn't it be more relaxing to put gloop all over your face when you're by yourself? How do you eat and drink while carrying out all those beauty treatments? What's the point of it all if you're going to stuff your face with ice cream and chocolate? And do all women really love ice cream and chocolate that much anyway? confused

Sorry there are a lot of questions, I am just hoping someone can explain the appeal and I'm wondering if they're really that commonplace :-)

squeakytoy Thu 07-Nov-13 10:35:37

Its not my idea of a fun night, but each to their own.

RoxanneReidsChafingFishnets Thu 07-Nov-13 10:36:17

Not for me.

Give me a take away and rum and that's perfect

I've not done one but I'm pretty lazy when it comes to beauty so a night dedicated to it with alcohol and snacks is very much my sort of thing

But the alcohol and snacks would definitely be the highlight

Lvcat Thu 07-Nov-13 10:38:25

They're an excuse to sit in dressing gowns and drink wine with your mates aren't they? grin

samandi Thu 07-Nov-13 10:39:10

LaurieFairyCake - Perhaps the beauty aspect isn't that much fun but as it needs to be done it's better with alcohol and moral support, is that kind of what you're saying?

ElleMcFearsome Thu 07-Nov-13 10:39:45

Is is not just a reason to get together, have a natter and drink wine tea? Similar to a stitch and bitch, book club or similar?

knickernicker Thu 07-Nov-13 10:39:47

People just want to connect and feel human warmth and this sort of thing provides a reason to do that. I wouldn't want to eat ice cream for hours on end either but I'd love more chances to,sit and chat with friends.

samandi Thu 07-Nov-13 10:40:10

Lvcat - but you could do that without all the gloop and chocolate and stuff?

ElleMcFearsome Thu 07-Nov-13 10:40:12

oh x-post blush

squoosh Thu 07-Nov-13 10:41:01

Personally I love makeup, beauty products etc. but have never heard of anyone ever actually having a 'pampering girls night in'. It's something I've only ever seen on TV or in magazines.

Girls nights in for me generally focus on booze and gossip and having a laugh.

KittyFucker Thu 07-Nov-13 10:49:01

I'll come to yours Roxanne!

OP you might be interested in a couple of threads on the FWR board, there's one about women being called "girls" and whether this is demeaning/infantilising; and one about women's hobbies. Someone pointed out that things seen as typically female (or 'girly'!) hobbies, like baking, pampering or even having a bath FFS are just extensions of everyday necessities like eating and washing, whereas men are allowed proper activities like sports, which involve actually leaving the home.

I don't get pamper nights either. Though I live in the East End so do like going for a steam bath with my female friends - laaaaaaaaarrrvely.

thebody Thu 07-Nov-13 10:51:07

never heard if one at a house. that's what a spa is for.

if I am waxing and face packing I do that alone in my bathroom, with wine!!!

Lvcat Thu 07-Nov-13 10:51:21

Samandi- our pampering nights in start with the intention of goop but very rarely get past the dressing gown and wine stage hahahahahaha.

They usually end with empty pizza boxes and one if not all of us asleep in the sofa smile

Crowler Thu 07-Nov-13 10:53:11

Not crazy about that. I'd rather be previously groomed/manicured and going out.

samandi Thu 07-Nov-13 10:53:30

Interesting that it seems to be more of a cultural idea rather than something that people necessarily often do!

Thanks KittyFucker, will check those out :-) I think I saw the hobbies one the other day.

Coupon Thu 07-Nov-13 10:53:50

Relaxing is chatting with good friends, not gloopy cosmeticy stuff.

samandi Thu 07-Nov-13 10:54:50

Lvcat - :-) ... but asleep in the sofa?

bigbrick Thu 07-Nov-13 10:54:55

Agree - Not my idea of a good time

Never done it, never heard of anyone doing it in real life. I wouldn't want to either, but I'm not one for spas and treatments anyway.

Lvcat Thu 07-Nov-13 10:57:01

Sanandi- on not in,

Although our sofa is one if those super squashy will swallow you if you're not careful types. So it's not entirely impossible.

Dahlen Thu 07-Nov-13 11:12:08

I think it's largely a myth sold to us by cosmetic companies. It's one of those things we are constantly hearing about and under the impression it's commonplace but when I come to think of it I know no one who's actually had one.

I know a few people who have said they'll have one, but what actually happens is that they each turn up with a face-pack, half a cucumber and a bottle of wine, then the wine gets opened and the face-pack and cucumber get forgotten about.

Many beauty tasks - toenail clipping, waxing/shaving, bikini line - these are rather onerous and carried out in private or in a salon. You can't do much else while they're being carried out. They are the focus. The sorts of beauty tasks we think about in terms of pampering parties - face packs, manicures etc - can be carried out while doing other things, such as drinking wine, gossiping, watching a film - which is, of course, the real reason people get together isn't it?

Dahlen Thu 07-Nov-13 11:12:26

I'd rather just drink the wine. grin

WhatTheFoxSays Thu 07-Nov-13 11:25:42

Defiantly not for me. I've never had one and I don't intend to either. Just give me a night in with a film and a takeaway.

mitchsta Thu 07-Nov-13 11:27:05

Not for me, but wouldn't begrudge other people doing it if that's what floats their boat. I'm very much in the wine and take-away camp on this one.

mrsjay Thu 07-Nov-13 11:31:09

I would rather stick pins in my eyes tbh it really isn't my idea of a good night my 15 yr old would love it though and she has done it for a friends birthday sleepover, I do tend to feel a bit out the loop at work i work with all women and a lot of them are into beauty and spas and whatnot and it just not something i am bothered about, different strokes and all that i suppose, personally i would rather have wine and atakeaway

harticus Thu 07-Nov-13 11:33:08

My idea of total utter fucking hell.
But then so is shopping.
Would rather go to the dentist than the hairdresser.
And I don't have a shoe fetish or fancy any particular movie/telly stars.

I am a bit crap at being a woman really.

My idea of hell. And most of my friends would agree - nights with each other are either about going out or, if meeting at someone's house, it would be about drinks, eating, gossip and possibly board games/craft activities. It's also true that I have hardly any female friends who give a crap about most 'beauty' treatments as it is - no manicures or spray tans and not much more than a regular wash and a dollop of something moisturizing for the rest of it. (We like make up for colour and mucking about with, but not all the time).

But, like others have mentioned, this is predominantly a media invention a) to sell cosmetics and b) to perpetuate the idea that women are silly and trivial, that they do have a duty to be good to look at but that the actual tasks this necessitates are silly and trivial. ANother example of how women can't win, really.

bigbrick Thu 07-Nov-13 11:36:03

harticus - also agree on shopping.

WhatTheFoxSays Thu 07-Nov-13 11:38:46

Lol does anyone actually do these things? I don't think I've ever met anyone in real life who does and this seems to be reflected online.

TunipTheUnconquerable Thu 07-Nov-13 11:42:32

'LaurieFairyCake - Perhaps the beauty aspect isn't that much fun but as it needs to be done it's better with alcohol and moral support, is that kind of what you're saying?'

Ah, interesting theory. Kind of like when I was an undergraduate and we had a shitload of Greek irregular verbs to learn, we would get together with our mates with drinks and snacks and practise them together.

Though on balance I would have more fun with the Greek verbs, tbh.

LaRegina Thu 07-Nov-13 11:44:05

I don't get it. I've been invited to a few over the years but I've always declined. I'm all for lying in the bath, face pack on, surrounded by candles, but I tend to be on my own when I'm doing so smile

Fakebook Thu 07-Nov-13 11:50:24

I'd hate this. I've never been into beauty treatments with friends though. My sister is and visits spas for facials and stuff with her friends. We used to have a Sunday night beauty night when were younger and that used to be fun.

I also hate shopping with friends or people in general.

squoosh Thu 07-Nov-13 11:51:35

I have to shop solo. Group shopping is not fun.

AnkaretLestrange Thu 07-Nov-13 11:54:36

What sgb said.

I am a vain twat and wear make up all the time, do my hair etc but that is just part of getting ready.

The idea of having a spa day, pampering treatment thing at home as some sort of social activity or 'treat' is anathema to me.

KellyElly Thu 07-Nov-13 11:54:39

I had one of those nights with a mate where we were drinking wine and 'pampering'. Too much wine was had and I woke up with streaky fake tan and badly done nails grin. Should have just stuck to the wine and saved the pampering for a spa day with the professionals!

mrsjay Thu 07-Nov-13 13:14:21

I go to the shop buy what i need and then go home shopping lunch more shopping isn't for me either I am pretty rubbish at this woman thing grin

I never understand why some women need to have an excuse to get together oh we are having a pamper night oh we are having a candle <shudder> party, nobody really cares imo it is an excuse to sit and chat why dont they say come over for a night of crisps nibbles and wine/vodka/beer/tea

mrsjay Thu 07-Nov-13 13:14:38

Oh jings i said nibbles I do apologise

mrsjay Thu 07-Nov-13 13:16:26

a woman I know organises pyjama parties for her friends they all go to each others houses to get pissed socialise with their pyjamas on confused

merrymouse Thu 07-Nov-13 13:25:58

It's a bit odd isn't it. Most of the stuff involved in beauty treatments isn't that social. If you are a teenager and it's all really new and exciting I can see the appeal, but not if you have been painting your nails for 20 years.

samandi Thu 07-Nov-13 13:43:57

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't get it! :-)

I had one of those nights with a mate where we were drinking wine and 'pampering'. Too much wine was had and I woke up with streaky fake tan and badly done nails

Now that is a very good reason not to do it.

TunipTheUnconquerable Thu 07-Nov-13 13:55:39

I love the way so many of us are mystified by this grin
It makes me feel normal.

Maybe it's like at primary school where girls are always wanting to do each other's hair. I was always being given offers of makeovers at secondary school, too, because I was so frumpy.

MrTumblesKnickers Thu 07-Nov-13 14:04:01

I've never heard of this other than on TV, does it actually happen?

squoosh Thu 07-Nov-13 14:05:44

It's kind of like that cliché of women having giggly pillow fights whilst clad only in their bra and knickers.

I know that I'm forever doing that!

Rosencrantz Thu 07-Nov-13 14:07:19

Pretty sure it's about the company OP. Anything my mates and I do together is fun, we'd love this. Mostly because we'd get drunk in the process.

FestiveEdition Thu 07-Nov-13 14:09:28

Surely its a teenage girl 'thing'?
As a grown-up ....just show me the way to the spa, please (though I don't mind doing those days with a friend)

Girls night in? just wine, nibbles and good company please! Unadulterated by dripping cosmetics and the smell of leg wax.

mrsjay Thu 07-Nov-13 16:56:22

It's kind of like that cliché of women having giggly pillow fights whilst clad only in their bra and knickers

sqoosh have you been watching grease and singing look at me im sandra dee grin

mrsjay Thu 07-Nov-13 16:58:31

maybe women who do this just like the facepacks and whatever thing I just dont understand it all together can they not just get stuck into the drink as lets face it thats all they are there for, the women I work along side talk about face creams and beauty regimes and I honestly think i have fallen from a spaceship,

dont get me wrong i get along with them great just when they start talking acryllic nails i switch off

Preciousbane Thu 07-Nov-13 17:11:32

I have never even heard of these nights, I must live under a rock. Surely only teens do stuff like this?

exexpat Thu 07-Nov-13 17:14:14

I can't think of anything worse than a pamper party. It sounds like something invented by a teenage magazine.

Unfortunately, it seems to have taken hold, and my DD's school PTA is having a "mums' pamper evening" soon, with all sorts of 'therapists' booked, presumably so you can get your face covered in gunk or your feet massaged while in the company of lots of women you don't even know very well.

I won't be going.

mrsjay Thu 07-Nov-13 17:15:44

Unfortunately, it seems to have taken hold, and my DD's school PTA is having a "mums' pamper evening" soon, with all sorts of 'therapists' booked, presumably so you can get your face covered in gunk or your feet massaged while in the company of lots of women you don't even know very well.

good god , I went to a ladies fund raiser it was full of all that crap I was miserable and got drunk

squoosh Thu 07-Nov-13 17:17:28

Tell them you'll only go if they do anal bleaching.

harticus Thu 07-Nov-13 18:39:59

squoosh grin

fanjofarrow Thu 07-Nov-13 18:42:53

The whole things bores me to death too; I'd rather have a drink and play Football Manager.

To each her own!

fanjofarrow Thu 07-Nov-13 18:43:22

*thing.

Lavenderhoney Thu 07-Nov-13 18:48:15

I can't think if anything worse. I spend any pamper nights alone in the bathroom, with a glass of wine and lounge in the bath with a book dreaming of hot sex with James blunt ( that was for squooshsmile

Sitting around someone's house doing my nails seems a waste of time to me. I hardly ever go out. I want to do something fun and out with other people, without dc and in an adult environment, like a bar.

If I ever get asked to one, I'm going to go, take a bottle of bleach, rubber gloves and a sponge and ask if anyone wants their bum bleachedsmile for mn of coursesmile

Primadonnagirl Thu 07-Nov-13 18:53:57

Hope not too off thread but I hate it when magazines suggest having a group of friends round to swap clothes..you get rid of unwanted stuff and a new wardrobe for free!!!!!!!Yes , but what if...
...you are not the same size and shape of any of your friends
...you have completely different tastes
...you have completely different budgets..so they might be giving you a designer cast off but would they really want your George at Asda?!!
...you have a bit of OCD that prevents you wearing anything second hand!,
...and worst bit...you have no friends!

SatinSandals Thu 07-Nov-13 19:03:00

I don't understand why you have to 'get it'. There are lots of things that I don't get, such as football , just accept the differences.

GobbolinoCat Thu 07-Nov-13 19:24:21

wotta load of shite, us girlies stay in wearing pink fluffy robes, getting ourselves all sexy for the men folk, who are at the same time having a grand old time out at the pub!

Bollocks.

squoosh Thu 07-Nov-13 19:28:06

Oh Lavender every time I see James Blunt I think of that thread and all of you crazy women swooning over him!

BUT he's now on Twitter and is actually quite funny, so he's not as bad as I thought. His genitals and bumhole is all yours though!

fanjofarrow Thu 07-Nov-13 23:13:48

James Blunt sounds like Rod Stewart on helium.

Strumpetron Thu 07-Nov-13 23:16:35

Me and my best friend always plan these.

But we just end up stuffing our faces, watching shite telly and talking rubbish. Then toddling off to bed with the baby and talk in bed, in between trying to get her to sleep.

We're 22, how hardcore are we

Lavenderhoney Fri 08-Nov-13 06:06:13

Squoosh. Eww, I don't do bum holessmile

Rushes off to twittersmile

TheRealAmandaClarke Fri 08-Nov-13 06:29:56

I believe they are an urban myth OP.

TheRealAmandaClarke Fri 08-Nov-13 06:33:05

Make- yourself- beautiful party, preceeded by a pole dancing lesson and a cookery master class.
It could make you into the perfect wife.

I would actually like the time though for a relaxing bath, face pack and glass of wine. Alone. That sounds good to me.

TheRealAmandaClarke Fri 08-Nov-13 06:34:16

grin squoosh

samandi Fri 08-Nov-13 08:39:54

I don't understand why you have to 'get it'.

Well, I suppose my world is not going to cave in if I don't, but I was just interested in the appeal and wondering how common they are actually are - as explained in original post. I'm interested in lots of things - it's called curiosity.

samandi Fri 08-Nov-13 08:42:20

I have never even heard of these nights, I must live under a rock. Surely only teens do stuff like this?

I've never heard of grown women that I know personally having them either. But I see a lot about them in advertising and tv shows etc. So perhaps they are aimed more at teenagers, though the adverts, shows etc. often have grown women in them.

Katisha Fri 08-Nov-13 08:47:41

If there's a word that gives me the rage, it's "pamper".

notso Fri 08-Nov-13 08:56:13

I don't know anyone who's not a teenager that has them
but I've got no mates
Sometimes DH asks me if I'll look at a spot on his bum does that count?

Caitlin17 Fri 08-Nov-13 08:57:05

Katisha agreed re "pamper" Horrible word.

I just assumed that other than the Boots " here come the girls" ads they didn't exist outside an ad person's brain.

Minnieisthedevilmouse Fri 08-Nov-13 09:00:49

I go to people's houses and do the treatments for them. Pjs cocktails champers music films I've seen it all.

As I get repeat bookings I guess they are fun!

Minnieisthedevilmouse Fri 08-Nov-13 09:02:05

Although I do get fed up by Renee zellwegger movies it's a bloody laugh and I get paid and they all look gorgeous.

I never did them as a teenager either, but I have always loved football, maybe there's a correlation.

TheRealAmandaClarke Fri 08-Nov-13 11:19:02

So, which is best/ worst: a pamper party, an "Anne summers" party or a Tupperware party?

TunipTheUnconquerable Fri 08-Nov-13 11:22:05

Pamper is definitely worst out of those three. Ann Summers would be awful but also hilarious. Tupperware would just be dull as fuck.

exexpat Fri 08-Nov-13 11:22:23

I would run a mile from all three, to be honest.

exexpat Fri 08-Nov-13 11:24:03

I don't even think an Anne Summers party would be 'hilarious' - forced hilarity, maybe, because that's what everyone expects, but really it's just an excuse to put pressure on people to buy tacky underwear and overpriced penis-shaped chocolate.

Coupon Fri 08-Nov-13 12:09:46

I'd pick the Tupperware party out of the three!

mrsjay Fri 08-Nov-13 12:18:52

I would tupperware and open the lids to make those farty noises all night grin Anne summers parties are Grim dd once told me a girl in her class (high school) used to go with her mum <shudder>

squoosh Fri 08-Nov-13 12:23:24

Imagine cooing over vibrators, butt plugs and cock rings with your old Mum? shock

mrsjay Fri 08-Nov-13 12:24:41

squoosh i felt a bit queasy when dd told me they were 16 at the time hmm

Tupperware here too. Just reminded me I need to decline an invitation to an AS party.

mrsjay Fri 08-Nov-13 12:29:26

I remember my mum going to tupperware parties in the 70s early 80s that is how i remember the farty noises she used to drag me along

harticus Fri 08-Nov-13 12:32:37

If there's a word that gives me the rage, it's "pamper"

"Smellies" does it for me.

"What shall we get mum/nan/auntie for Xmas?"
How about a shitty fruit basket full of some smellies from the cunting Body Shop?

Crowler Fri 08-Nov-13 12:34:40

cunting Body Shop

LOL.

TheRealAmandaClarke Fri 08-Nov-13 12:57:02

Smellies from the Cunting Body Shop
Pmsl. grin

Sunflower49 Fri 08-Nov-13 13:56:25

I reckon I could do face masks, giving one another manicures/pedicures etc, doing one another's make up.. But I only think like this because It's nice to have a distraction whilst doing it, It's a PITA doing it on one's own, boring!
Only if wine/gossip is involved too though, and good company!
Have zero interest in ice cream/chocolate or takeaways though. Few nibbles maybes!

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