To not buy dd1 the "ONLY thing in the world" she wants for xmas/birthday?

(214 Posts)
D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 10:15:03

She will even "sell me her Kindle Fire, 3DS, ipod nano, ipig and her soul" if I buy her one. She tried to sell me her Xbox, until I pointed out that it was not hers to sell and already belonged to me grin She won't sell me her bike, she loves it too much.

She wants an ipad air. I do not want to buy her one. Not because we cannot afford one, it would be a big chunk of our christmas budget and she'd have to not do any big birthday celebrations, but we could afford one just.

The reason I do not want to buy her one is that a) I begrudge paying Apple's prices which I believe are massively inflated simply because it is an Apple product and people blindly believe they are best (although admittedly upon looking further into it ipad air is very impressive, but then so is the new Google Nexus) and b) Going on what she is wanting to use it for, there are more suitable, cheaper tablets out there for her, that do the job just as well but without Apple's price tag.

She is wanting it primarily for taking photos and videos, watching movies on the go and playing minecraft. The Galaxy Tab 2 is just as suitable for her. It's processor is slower, but as she is not as massive gamer, she'll hardly notice this and it's camera is not as good, but she is not a photographer, she wants it simply to take photos of her dogs to edit in photo editor/whatever it is she uses, a 3MP camera will do the job adequately. When it comes to watching movies, the ipad air has a much better display, however once you get past 1080p, the difference is hardly noticeable, imo, the Tab 2 has a bigger screen (something which she would notice) and plays a higher number of file types, meaning less pestering me to convert files for her and the Tab 2 has expandable memory, which she will need.

She also wants Skype/Facetime etc. to keep in touch with her Aunt. Both devices have HD web cams.

And the biggest bonus is that the Tab 2 is significantly cheaper. I do not believe the Air is £200+ better than the Tab 2. Plus 2 weeks after she gets it, she'll be moaning she's run out of space on it and asking me where her memory card is so she can swap it for a bigger one, just like she did with her ipod and kindle fire.

I've spoken to her about this and she is adamant that it is ONLY the ipad air she wants, although she is unable to tell me why beyond "It's the best because it's ipad and all my friends have one and Mr. X (her new teacher) has one because it's the best and if he says it's the best, it must be the best, btw we also need to buy a Mac because they are better than Windows PCs"

If she can't have the ipad Air, she'd rather have the cash to save towards the ipad, than the Tab 2.

She's a bit of a sheep and easily sold to.

MadeOfStarDust Wed 06-Nov-13 10:19:03

just say no.... our house would be full of crap the kids want if we gave in, and they would spend all day on gadgets too... but we say no...

Hubby stopped them wanting ANY apple stuff when he showed them the reports on suicide netting at the apple factories in China!

KungFuBustle Wed 06-Nov-13 10:19:59

I wouldn't. DS wants a tablet for similar purposes, DMIL got him one for £40. Can't recall the brand but I can ask er and pm you.

I'm on a £70 asda tab now. It's great, sturdy and does the job. Doesn't kindle fire do the all singing all dancing anyway?

I don't blame you for begrudging Apple the money they ask.

Chattymummyhere Wed 06-Nov-13 10:21:14

I think I'm on DD's side.. But then I would say let her save up/sell things etc to earn money to buy one so give her cash for christmas.

I'm an apple user and you can easily tell the difference when using different products, and although 1mp or 2 might not seem a lot it can make a massive difference, screen size never bothers me I can plug it all into the tv anyway if I want it bigger or use the wireless connecter to show photos/movies etc around the house.

She could skype but if the camera is not good the picture wont be good, facetime is a apple thing.

Mac books are also better I'm saving for one myself, they run better the programs are nicer etc

Currently using a crap bag Microsoft laptop that's 4months old and keeps crashing randomly...

EvaBeaversProtege Wed 06-Nov-13 10:21:20

What age is she?

My dd is 12 in December & also looking one.

I don't even know how much they are.

Ragwort Wed 06-Nov-13 10:22:11

How old is your DD? My DS is 12 and would no doubt love an ipad - (constantly borrowing his 80 year old grandma's grin) but he just wouldn't dream of expecting such an expensive gift.

I get round this sort of thing (which was PS3 so not nearly in such an expensive league!) by saying 'we will contribute £X and if you really want it you will have to put the remainder towards it'. He understood that and did buy a PS3 last year - we paid half and he used savings (Christmas & Birthday money) to pay the balance.

I strongly believe that children need to understand the value of money; can you work out your hourly income rate and put it to your DD that to receive a £400+ gift you would have to work X number of hours - that always puts things into perspective for me.

Or just say No grin.

Harryhairypig Wed 06-Nov-13 10:22:41

give her the money to save up towards it. I am doing the same with mine who want a large item that costs more than we want to spend.

Harryhairypig Wed 06-Nov-13 10:22:54

give her the money to save up towards it. I am doing the same with mine who want a large item that costs more than we want to spend.

chocoluvva Wed 06-Nov-13 10:24:11

My sympathies - my DD was the same about getting an iPhone 4S (or something) last Christmas. She did get it as a combined present from us and her GPs.

Recently I upgraded my very basic phone (not even a smart phone) to a previously unheard make of smart phone for almost no cost. It has a 10MP camera! DD's phone is undoubtedly slightly better than mine but with her contract (admittedly gives her unlimited mobile data) cost hundreds of pounds more than mine!!

If I was you I'd hold off for as long as possible just in case she changes her mind and give her the cost of the Tab 2 - she might change her mind about the air pad when it comes to spending her own money on it.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 10:24:13

It's only the Kindle Fire she has, not the HD one, so it has no camera function or web cam. I did warn her this when she bought it (she sold older gadgets and used birthday money to buy herself it) but Amazon told her it was the best, so it must be the best hmm

She does not, imo, need a device as powerful or expensive as the ipad air for what she is wanting to do with it.

Pennyacrossthehall Wed 06-Nov-13 10:25:30

Given that she has a Kindle Fire, doesn't that already do most of what she says she wants an iPad for? (I don't own one, but thought they were just branded Android tablets?)

And, also, like you I think Apple are over-priced and over-hyped. hmm

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 10:28:30

Ah, if Facetime is only Apple, then that could be a big selling point for me because her Aunt is currently selling her iphone in order to buy a Galaxy Note, so won't have Facetime anymore. They use Skype atm on my phone or the netbook.

She'll be 10. She's wanting it as a joint xmas/birthday present.

SaucyJack Wed 06-Nov-13 10:28:36

Oh God, YANBU.

What kind of world are your kids growing up in where a Galaxy tablet thingy of their own is some sort of booby prize to be refused?

I'd seriously be considering getting her a big fat box of nothing.

SaucyJack Wed 06-Nov-13 10:28:55

10??!!

ilovesooty Wed 06-Nov-13 10:29:18

There are other tablets that would do the job. I'm amazed at the level of expenditure she expects and I think her sheep like thinking needs to be challenged.

Aeroaddict Wed 06-Nov-13 10:30:34

I'd give her the cash towards it. Then you are both getting close to what you want. You have only spent what you think it is worth, and she will get her ipad air eventually unless a new must have gadget comes out before she has saved enough

ilovesooty Wed 06-Nov-13 10:30:47

10? Words fail me.

Ragwort Wed 06-Nov-13 10:31:14

10? shock You would be totally mad to buy her such an expensive present.

My S didn't even get a mobile phone until his first Christmas after starting secondary school.

chocoluvva Wed 06-Nov-13 10:32:54

It's blimmin annoying difficult when 'all' their friends have ridiculously very expensive stuff. angry

Pennyacrossthehall Wed 06-Nov-13 10:34:37

I see your answer re Kindle Fire.

Also: sometimes you can't have everything you want. That's also a useful lesson.

I'm in the 'just say no' and be clear about it camp as well. DS has been asking for an iPad for 2 christmas's now and he's not getting one and has been told so. He's getting a Kindle Fire HD. It does what he wants to do with a iPad mini, so can live with it.

EvaBeaversProtege Wed 06-Nov-13 10:37:33

At 10, no.

She isn't mature enough to loom after it, well maybe she is, but my dd wouldn't have been.

At 10 dd got her first Nokia phone smile

Dh has said it isn't an air dd is looking for but a tablet thing the keyboard attaches to, any ideas what that may be?

Dds birthday is December 24 so we often (if she wants a big item) get it for both.

MollyHooper Wed 06-Nov-13 10:38:28

Apple care is also very expensive, you get much better insurance deals on other tablets.

SidneyBristow Wed 06-Nov-13 10:40:17

There is absolutely no way I would buy or contribute to something as expensive as an Air for a 10yo. Even less chance of it for a 10yo who acts like nothing else will do. What in the world is she going to be demanding by age 15, if you don't get this sorted?

Fecking hell, whatever happened to there being kids stuff an adult stuff ??

Tell her no, because you're the adult and she's the child.

SavoyCabbage Wed 06-Nov-13 10:44:43

Yanbu to not get her one no.

especially as she's already got a 3DS, iPod,nano and a kindle fire. I would try to steer her in another direction. My dd is getting water paints and an easel for Christmas. She is 10 too.

noblegiraffe Wed 06-Nov-13 10:46:50

If she wants to watch movies on the go then I would strongly suggest she doesn't get an iPad. Getting content like movies onto the iPad is an utter pain in the arse and if you haven't bought it from iTunes, possibly even a non-starter.

I have an iPad, my DH has an android tablet. He can just drag and drop movies from a memory stick onto his tablet and it's a piece of piss. I've given up trying with my iPad, especially where iTunes is involved. It's awful.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 10:46:59

Most tablets have a keyboard that attaches to it but you usually have to buy them separately. The one dd1 was showing me yesterday which comes with the keyboard as standard (and if dd1 knows about it's the one that's been advertised on the telly box a lot) is a Microsoft one and is about £700 and is more of a mini computer than a tablet, I'd say it's aimed at business users and students rather than people who just want a tablet. dd1 would've have had that instead of an ipad hmm and one day pigs will fly

We did a lot of research into this last night. Or rather I did a lot of research into this last night while dd1 sat next to me listing all the things she would sell to pay towards the ipad air, including but not limited to her soul and her sister shock

She's very tecchy, she takes after me in that, unfortunately she does not really understand tech very well yet, so tends to blindly want what the Telly box tells her to want or what her friends have.

She doesn't spend hours and hours on tech so that doesn't concern me. Her bike is used far more than her Kindle atm.

HeeHiles Wed 06-Nov-13 10:47:06

YANBU - have a chat about the power of advertising and marketing and how they want you to want stuff you don't need!

I refused to buy my dd a Wii last Christmas - 'But all my friends have got one!' 'Good! Go play with theirs then!'

Needless to say her friends' Wii's are no longer played with!

I've got a Kindle Fire and it's fine

And she has an iPod too?

That's a lot of good stuff already. Perhaps a zoo membership and some nice days out would provide her with a more rounded experience wink

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 10:52:04

She has my old ipod, Laurie, she didn't get a new one.

CoffeeTea103 Wed 06-Nov-13 10:52:24

You are the adult , just say no.
Her refusing everything else after you have explained the logic shows she needs to learn some appreciation rather than asking for things without good reason. Besides you shouldn't sacrifice your budget just to please her.

CerealKillerMom Wed 06-Nov-13 10:53:07

Compile a spreadsheet of all the applications/add ons/insurance etc... various tablets have, with cost at top. Work out which one you'd be prepared to pay for and give her (bank) the money and explain why you think 'x' one is better (see spread sheet for details!). She can either have the one you chose right now or save the difference for the Apple.

A Hobson's choice for her

SavoyCabbage Wed 06-Nov-13 10:54:06

Well, it sounds like you have made up your mind.

Grennie Wed 06-Nov-13 10:54:30

Personally I would buy it, but ask her to contribute.

£700 present at 10 YO - NO!!!!
That's absolute madness.
Stick to your guns.

FestiveEdition Wed 06-Nov-13 10:57:45

Surely we all remember the one Christmas when we didn't get the one thing in all the world which we wanted. It doesn't damage us as people, but there is always a memory of the disappointment.

So, I am going to go against the flow and say you should reward your daughter for her willingness to sacrifice other gifts, to sell other items (at least the ones that she owns, not yours!!) in order to fund the thing she wants. It seems to me that while she may be susceptible to marketing, she is also very switched on to knowing she can't have something just for the asking, she understands the concept of saving for something you truly want .....and she is growing up enough that her wants and yours may not always coincide. That divergence will widen a lot over the the coming years.

Give her the money. Ask her if she wants only money, to get the biggest boost to the fund, or mainly money and a couple of small bits to open.
Be proud of the determined daughter you have raised, and support her effort to be very grown up about how she addresses her 'wants'.
I would be, if she were mine smile

Ragwort Wed 06-Nov-13 10:58:41

I can't believe you are even considering spending £700 on a child's Christmas present? Are you made of money grin?

Give her the money to save for it. Make her work for it. Remind her of all the work when it doesn't do enough.

At some point she needs to learn that the marketing should be taken with a large pinch of salt. Let her learn it by going without other presents and some hard graft.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Wed 06-Nov-13 10:59:50

I'd give her enough money for a perfectly good tablet, and let her choose whether to buy one or save up for the iPad. I'm not a big fan of giving kids expensive tech, but if it's really all she wants, I would let her have it, with the caveat that she has to save a hefty chunk of the money herself.

FestiveEdition Wed 06-Nov-13 11:01:44

I may not have been clear .... I am not suggesting you give her the entire amount needed to buy. Just as much as you consider appropriate for her main Christmas present.
She needs to follow through on the saving/selling options to fund the rest.

We went Apple a couple of years ago (cos I wanted an iPad for my birthday and nothing else would do grin). We also bought a MacBook. DS is 12 and although he uses the MacBook he doesn't like it much. And I think Minecraft on the iPad is only Minecraft Lite. So that might be an issue for her if she wants full Minecraft.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 11:04:26

I'm not Ragwort, someone asked further up the thread if I knew which tablet has the keyboard, if it's the same one dd1 knows about, then it's the microsoft one, which is around £700 and there is no way in hell dd1 is getting it. The ipad air is "only" (dd1's words, not mine) £400. The Tab 2, the one I would be willing to buy her is £199 new, although I'd be looking into getting a refurbed or second hand one.

SaucyJack Wed 06-Nov-13 11:05:34

Surely we all remember the one Christmas when we didn't get the one thing in all the world which we wanted. It doesn't damage us as people, but there is always a memory of the disappointment.

That's why, as a parent, you have a responsibility to keep your DCs expectations realistic.

My DD asked for an iPad for Xmas months ago. I laughed. She amended her list to a Monster High doll and leopard print onesie. Job done.

The OP should not even have discussed it in the first place with her DD.

ThreeMyselfAndI Wed 06-Nov-13 11:07:35

I am with you apple are shit and charge a fortune, we done alot of looking about and enquiries and were told each time Samsung is superior, and we agree and wouldn't touch apple products if they were free, why not fet her the 10inch tab 3? they are fantastic and have a player apple don't to watch online movies.

wannaBe Wed 06-Nov-13 11:08:36

one of the benefits to getting an iPad is that if she already has an iPod the apps will be transferrable e.g. minecraft etc, whereas if you buy an android tablet you will need to fork out for all new apps. That being said, my ds has an iPad but the phone he is getting for his birthday is an android because it's only £20 on a £10 contract so he would be getting an iPhone over my dead body. grin

But if she wants an iPad then I would look at the iPad mini over an air it's £££ less expensive and the only real benefit to the air is that it's thinner.

I have an iPad mini with a Logitech Bluetooth keyboard, the keyboard cost about £60 and is great because it's also a cover/screen protector.

aquashiv Wed 06-Nov-13 11:10:41

So she is ten years old already has all this expensive gadgetry and is holding you to ransom for more? Only you can answer whether to get your dd the latest gadget personally hell would freeze over before I would waste my money on such an expensive item for a child. I think she needs to appreciate all she has first.

PeppermintScreams Wed 06-Nov-13 11:11:16

I would get her to write down a wish list of what she wants and what she needs. Then make a list together of the prices and specs of all the tablets out there, their prices, and what sort of money will get towards them. (From you, and from selling her old stuff) Then let her stew on it for a few weeks.

Has she looked at the newer kindle fire HDX models? Maybe she'll be happyish with a top spec Kindle?

We just got a Galaxy tab 2 (and a samsung wi fi enabled camera) 'free' with dh's mobile contract and to be honest I'm well impressed. I think apple has the monopoly on brand snobbery. Didn't I hear though the other day that Samsung are now outselling apple worldwide now? I honestly think they are a good affordable alternative.

FestiveEdition Wed 06-Nov-13 11:12:54

saucy
why is it not OK to reward a child who is prepared to sacrifice other gifts, in order to save money so she can buy something she truly wants?
(and which is likely to be on sale for considerable cheaper, after Christmas!!)
I see it as teaching a lot about saving, about not just getting something for the asking but having to sacrifice for it. And also about marketing ploys, if she does discover that it doesn't quite perform as she thought.

Of course its easy to just say no, have the one I choose for you, but that doesn't teach much more than disappointment, really.
This sounds like a determined, bright child, with sensible parents. Why not encourage good traits for adult life, when you can?

specialsubject Wed 06-Nov-13 11:15:15

I just heard about a 3 year old who already seems swayed by Apple branding - fortunately at 3 there is plenty of time to train this out of her!

the word is 'no'. As you realise, you also need to help her get out of sheep mode and understand that only the stupid (or the pre-school!) are swayed by advertising.

TwoStepsBeyond Wed 06-Nov-13 11:15:43

I wouldn't waste your money buying her a different tablet that she doesn't want. It will always feel like a compromise and her reaction on Xmas morning will be horrible for you both if she's already said she doesn't really want it.

If you think any kind of tablet would be handy and you can afford the one she wants then I think you should remember that giving a gift is about making the other person happy, not buying them something that you think they SHOULD like.

If you don't think she'll get anything much out of a tablet that she can't already get from her phone/home PC etc then don't buy her a tablet at all and ask her for some other ideas perhaps more suited to a child her age than an adult

I know apple stuff is over priced, but I must admit that I love mine and use it 10 times more than I ever used my old generic tablet as it's just easier and more appealing to me.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 11:15:55

We did look at the Tab 3 and the new Note tablet (which I need) and as I pointed out to her, she knows how to use Samsung products as my phones are normally Samsung.

I still believe for what she wants to use it for she doesn't need anything more powerful than the Tab 2.

I also told her that Samsung product are well know for being far easier to use than Apple and as we don't have a Mac and have no intention of getting one, then Apple devices will be a pain in the arse to synch. She told me she knows how to use Apple because the school have ipad 2 which they are allowed to use freely in her class and she's had a go on her teacher's ipad air.

Her teacher, is every 10yo's dream teacher. Their math lessons are mainly on ipads and involve playing Minecraft and they're allowed to bring their own tablets to use in the free time on a Friday afternoon. He also has a YouTube channel dedicated to Minecraft tutorials. He often hands out extra "optional" homework, to do with Minecraft or computers in general. Dd1 thinks he is God.

lottieandmia Wed 06-Nov-13 11:16:32

I think 10 is a little bit young. But then my nearly 10 year old often needs to use the laptop for her homework.

My 10 year old ds2 asked for a ps4 for Christmas.

He said if I buy it, it will be his Christmas present, birthday present, he will sell his ps3 and games, etc etc. --he won't, because the ps3 is only half his, ds1 "owns" the other half.

He will sell his iPod touch, do all manner of jobs in the house and not have any pocket money til he had saved up for it.

I said ok. This was about 3 weeks ago.
First 2 weeks, no pocket money, that was ok. Last week he said to me, actually mum, I have been thinking and I would rather have a Christmas present and a birthday present and get my pocket money. I will ask for a ps4 next Christmas when they are cheaper grin

What he doesn't actually know is that ds1 has saved £100, so we are paying the rest and buying it for Christmas. For both of them to share.

Only because ds1 actually did save the money. Because he is 15. At 10, it sounds like a good idea in theory. Putting it into practice is different grin

FestiveEdition Wed 06-Nov-13 11:20:29

Perfect learning curve tantrums grin

Beastofburden Wed 06-Nov-13 11:20:38

Dear god, at age 9 (not yet 10) she has all that other kit she could sell?

And she wants a luxury machine like an iPad Air?

At that age it's all fantasy, she doesn't really know what is going on. But she will remain "a sheep and easily sold to" if this peer pressure and school pressure continues to get rewards.

I don't believe for one minute that "all her friends have one" but if they do, you might want to take a look at her friends.

I know that traditionally, 9 year olds who were rich enough got ponies, which is financially far worse. Or professional coaching in sport or music or dance. It's not so much the money. It's the fact that this is just a toy, just a self-indulgence. Ponies, sport, music, dance- they require the child to take some responsibility and put something back.

The darker side of this all-encompassing loyalty to her digital life is the risk of cyber bullying later. She needs a sense of proportion, and not just about the money. teen years are looming, teach her now before shit happens online, that there is more to life.

CambridgeBlue Wed 06-Nov-13 11:22:47

I think 10 is way too young for anything like an iPad - what the hell has she got to aim for in the future is she gets such an expensive gadget at that age?

That's just me though, so looking at it from another POV, if my DD desperately wanted e.g. a bike that cost £700, I would think about giving her the amount I would normally spend on her Xmas present, suggest to family members asking for ideas that they give her cash and get her to save up herself.

But I think it would be a pretty dull Xmas morning with no other presents, just a pile of cash and a long wait ahead while she saves up the rest.

DowntonTrout Wed 06-Nov-13 11:24:43

I love Apple products. We are all iPhone, iPad, iPod etc in our house. I have had ipad since the beginning and am currently finding my ipad 1 a pain becauseit does not update beyond ios5. I was hoping for the iPad air for Xmas but DH had already ordered me the iPad 4 and has had it engraved (grrr) . Anyway that's another story.

DD is 12. She has iPad 4. She was bought it because she is away at school and does a 2 hour train journey twice a week. She recently broke the screen and it was very expensive to fix. I started looking at alternatives and am really impressed with the Tesco Hudl. At £119 it seems like a bargain. Ok, it's not an iPad, never will be, but for what your DD will be doing (and mine for that matter) it is great value.

Could you offer her something like that, as a compromise. A) to see how she looks after it and B) because at £300 to £500 less than the iPad air, depending on which you are looking at, you would not be making an expensive mistake? Once a DC starts taking an iPad outside the house to take photos or whatever, you are asking for trouble (as I now know, to my cost). I understand she may really, really want the air, but waiting a year or two and maybe suggesting she saves towards one seems sensible. My DD is saving towards a mac book air for when she needs a laptop in year 9/10.

It's all about money coming in and the lifestyle you have.

In this house dd will get £160 spent on her, main present the majority of that. We have 60k coming in.

We have no gadgets worth more than 299 ( the last laptop I bought) so it's not in our nature to have 700 gadgets for taking photos and watching videos.

If you've 100k plus coming in it may be more normal to spend 700 quid on a child's Christmas present - my best friend has about 200k coming in and spends about 400-500 on each of her children.

DowntonTrout Wed 06-Nov-13 11:25:52

Sorry, wrote that ages ago and then it didn't post, I see you are looking at other tablets.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 11:31:27

I looked at the Hudl, I thought that would have been a good alternative and one she might go for because you can get purple ones. It's only 7 inch though and the screen size is a big issue for her.

She does look after her stuff. The box to her Kindle Fire is still in mint condition, never mind the Kindle itself, although we have issues with chargers. Those she rarely remembers to put away and they end up lost, another plus for the Samsung, it uses a generic mini usb charger, of which we have hundreds. The new ipad air has a different charger.

hamdangle Wed 06-Nov-13 11:36:53

At 10 DS1 asked for two packs of top trumps and a rubber snake. And he still believed in Father Christmas. At 17 he still would never ever ever dream of asking for something so expensive. We can afford to spend that amount of money on him and have done (although definitely not at the age of ten) but he would never ask for it and certainly never expect it.

He has never been disappointed on Christmas day either because it's an exciting day where children get spoiled and you get to see all your family and eat lovely food and play games. If I had a child who was disappointed on Christmas Day because she'd got a cheaper tablet than the one she'd demanded I would truly feel like I'd failed as a parent.

SparklyFucker Wed 06-Nov-13 11:39:20

I know nothing about actual tablets, but in terms of dealing with the issue of her wants vs yours, I'd say have a talk. Offer her the value of the tablet you want to buy her, and explain all your reasons to her. Tell her about the other things she could get with the extra £200 (if I've read the thread correctly?), stress just exactly how much money that is. At that point suggest that if she really does still want the ipad Air, she has to deliver on her promise and sell her other gadgets to make up the difference. When she's done that she'll need to see what difference is still left and save/earn the extra.

That's how I'd approach it.

MrsCharlesBrandon Wed 06-Nov-13 11:40:12

My nearly 10yo has asked for a pair of earrings like mine for christmas, a couple of board games, and some books.

She owns a Netbook (from school) and will be getting a tablet for her birthday. The tablet is £60.

My 8yo asked for an ipod, and ipad, and a laptop. I laughed a lot and told her NO. She's now scaled it down a lot and asked for far more reasonable stuff. She is also getting a basic tablet but only because i'm sick of her whining to use my laptop.

What happens when the next ipad comes out? will your DD insist she has to have that one too? And all the future ones?

Apple is a waste of money imo. Get her the Galaxy tab and she'll have to be grateful for it.

YouTheCat Wed 06-Nov-13 11:51:13

I went into Apple yesterday as my dbro wanted some gadget for Christmas - it was like a whole shop full of the brainwashed. The shop assistants were like Stepford wives. It is a scary place.

Apple is crap - get something else.

diddl Wed 06-Nov-13 11:54:15

"What he doesn't actually know is that ds1 has saved £100, so we are paying the rest and buying it for Christmas. For both of them to share."

That doesn't sound at all fair to me!

Op-she's 10, shouldn't she still be having toys??

SaucyJack Wed 06-Nov-13 11:55:54

why is it not OK to reward a child who is prepared to sacrifice other gifts, in order to save money so she can buy something she truly wants?
(and which is likely to be on sale for considerable cheaper, after Christmas!!)
I see it as teaching a lot about saving, about not just getting something for the asking but having to sacrifice for it. And also about marketing ploys, if she does discover that it doesn't quite perform as she thought.

Of course its easy to just say no, have the one I choose for you, but that doesn't teach much more than disappointment, really.
This sounds like a determined, bright child, with sensible parents. Why not encourage good traits for adult life, when you can?

______________________________

Sorry Festive, but you may as well be typing Swahili (or using the English-Swahili translator on whatever overpriced gadget you're using) for all the sense you're making to me.

I simply was not raised (nor am raising my DDs) in a household where buying a 10 year old a 700 quid tablet for Xmas because you're frightened they'll have a tantrum over "settling" for a 200 quid one that does exactly the same thing is teaching them anything about savings or sacrifices, or is setting them up with good traits for adult life hmm

I would sooner give one of mine a sore arse nothing if they even dreamt of behaving in such an ungrateful fashion.

shakes head and wanders off muttering to the prematurely ageing gimmers corner

Beastofburden Wed 06-Nov-13 12:00:55

I am going to repeat my other point-

Its not just about money.

Dont allow her online life to loom so large in her social and emotional life that she absolutely must have the latest gadget, will sell her possessions, soul, grandmother, etc.

Teach her a sense of proportion about this before she is a teen and the cyber bullying starts. It will be too late then to tell her it is not the end of the world.

KungFuBustle Wed 06-Nov-13 12:09:01

I'm reminded of this

I didn't realise your DC was 10! I assumed about 15 when I first answered. My DS is ten and although his nanny is getting him a tablet (she found one for £40) he wouldn't dream of asking for one. This is a child for whom we bought an Xbox in the summer without being asked. I though my DS was spoilt for stuff. I mention this as I'm not a parent who thinks children should be happy playing in a box, gadgets are cool and do have a lot to offer.

Are you not concerned that if you buy her the Air she'll never learn? She'll always just want the brand name? Say no and get her some real toys. She has a kindle fire. She'll live.

noblegiraffe Wed 06-Nov-13 12:09:56

She only wants it because her hero has one. That's not a good enough reason to fork out extra money on an inferior (for her needs) item!

My mum used to say 'I want doesn't get'

I want an iPhone 5s. I'm not going to get one because it's extortionately priced for what it is. Teaching "I want = I get" is the route to maxed out credit cards, debt and Brighthouse.

Why isn't it fair diddl?

diddl Wed 06-Nov-13 12:13:39

Because it's to share yet one child has contributed 100GBP & the other nothing?

Unless I misunderstood.

YouTheCat Wed 06-Nov-13 12:16:37

I spent hours as a kid with the Argos catalogue, circling all the things I would get if I had loads of money. It wasn't a list of things I wanted. And I would never have dreamt of demanding anything.

What is wrong with children wanting things but being unable to have them?

They grow up still wanting everything and if they are unable to buy the things it's either the parents still shelling out for things when they are in their 20s or them going into debt. It is a very bad life lesson.

The one child in question has a part time job, and is able to save £100 and his money will be spent on 2 new games and additional controller. I am buying the ps4

SooticaTheWitchesCat Wed 06-Nov-13 12:20:17

She is 10, she already has a Kindle Fire, 3DS, ipod nano and an Xbox and now she wants an ipad air shock

My DD is 10 next year and she wants a new Barbie for Christmas!

Thank god we don't have those kind of arguments in our house...

Bramshott Wed 06-Nov-13 12:24:51

This all sounds far too intense and time-consuming for me. If DD1 (also 10, nearly 11) asked for a tablet I think I'd just laugh and move on to the next thing!

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 12:25:58

didl, she's never been into toys. Crafts, outdoors, pets and gadgets - not toys or dolls. She'll ask for dolls and then never use them, so people stopped buying her them. I still remember the £55 doll that my mum bought her, that she needed because the telly box told her she needed it, it was still in it's box until earlier this year when she sold it to her baby cousin for a packet of Haribo.

Every Christmas and every birthday since she was old enough to talk she's asked for the same things. A puppy and an ipad. She's always given alternatives when asked and been grateful for what she has been given.

This year she has been more specific, she wants an ipad air and our foster puppy (this bypasses the Santa doesn't do livestock rule in her mind because the foster puppy is already here - all Santa has to do is donate to charity on dd1's behalf) she accepts that we won't be keeping the foster puppy and the reasons why, but there were tears, begging, bargaining and mild emotional blackmail before she reluctantly accepted that the foster puppy will be continuing to look for a new home. I already feel quite bad about this as it's the first foster dog dd1 has ever asked to keep. According to dd1 it's the first one that's loved her and the first one she has loved back sad She does understand my reasons and did apologise for using emotional blackmail on me.

She's getting craft things from other relatives and the only outdoor toy she uses now is her beloved bike which she does not want to upgrade.

I don't think she'll want an upgrade when a new model comes out. She's really not like that. She didn't upgrade her NDS Lite when they brought out new ones until they brought one out that did something completely different. She never asked for the NDSi or whatever it was that all her friends kept bringing round. She's happy with the old family wii and never asked for the new version. She's never asked to upgrade her netbook, despite it now not doing what wants to use her own computer for (the netbook was another "ooh, shiny, I need it" purchase that she was advised against but needed because it was blue and shiny and not plain and black like the laptop she was advised to get instead). She accepts that she chose it and now has to live with it (she is currently collecting old computers and parts in the hope of building herself a "free computer")

She only wants to upgrade her Kindle to the ipad because she bought the wrong thing, despite being warned that it did not do what other tablets do and she would regret it.

diddl Wed 06-Nov-13 12:29:25

"ds1 has saved £100, so we are paying the rest"

So that's not the case, then!

I thought that the money was for the PS4.

He's very kind to buy his own controller & games that his brother can also use.

bonkersLFDT20 Wed 06-Nov-13 12:30:24

When my DS went from primary to secondary school, he started mixing with children who have parents who work in the City i.e. earn lots of money.

Many have all the latest gadgets with upgrades as and when they come out. Many of them can't think of anything they'd like for Xmas or Birthdays because they have it all. I think this breeds a generation of children who expect immediate gratification or define the worth of a person by what possessions they have.

At 10 years old I really don't think she really knows what she truly wants when it comes to the complexities of technical specifications. Has she looked into technical support, compatibility with other gadgets in the home, add ons? I know I certainly wouldn't spend that much on a single item without doing masses of research. Saying "everyone has one" is an immature response (though an appropriate one for a 10 year old).

BeQuicksieorBeDead Wed 06-Nov-13 12:32:39

I would say no. it is too much money. If she wants cash, give what you would normally spend on her main present... But I think caving to the same pressure she is under to have the best gadget doesnt help her understand the evils of marketing!

Plus I think this teacher should sort himself out - how are the kids feeling who can't join the cool club, because they dont have the technology at home to play minecraft?! Nice!

YouTheCat Wed 06-Nov-13 12:37:24

She only wants to upgrade her Kindle to the ipad because she bought the wrong thing, despite being warned that it did not do what other tablets do and she would regret it.

This^ she will then find out that the ipad air doesn't have the features she needs for any long term use and you'll be back to square one.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 06-Nov-13 12:37:35

Sounds like she already has a history of choosing the wrong hardware and hasn't learned to heed advice. You're a sensible woman, Dooin - you know YANBU to not buy it for her.

Do 'all her friends' really have one? (my DD is 14 and 'all' of them have ipad minis)

TBH I'd have a quiet word with her teacher - he really shouldn't be saying anything that makes kids think they must have an expensive new ipad (and a mac?).

NoComet Wed 06-Nov-13 12:37:42

I have a kindle fire HD, a very generous, unexpected birthday, Christmas present from my family last year.

And I really don't like it. I MN on my iphone, because I can't get a decent spell checker on the Fire and the Silk browser is so slow.

DD1 has an Android phone and she doesn't like it either. All her apps, books, music are on a worn out touch.

She has pretty much said she doesn't want anything expensive for Christmas/Birthday if she can have an iPhone next August when her contract is up.

There is simply no getting away from the fact that despite ITunes being a total lock in and a pain in the arse,

Apple hardware and interfaces are just a Million times sleeker, smoother and sexier. If their interface clicks with you, everything else just feels clunky and as if it's playing catch up.

diddl Wed 06-Nov-13 12:40:56

Thinking about it though, kids selling stuff/saving up so that they can have what they want, isn't really in the spirit of Christmas, is it?

If she really wouldn't want the compromise then she shouldn't have a tablet imo.

It has all got ridiculous.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 12:41:31

I think they all do have Minecraft at home BeQuicksie, some don't have their own tablets/have them but are not allowed to take them to school, so are allowed to use the school's ipads during freetime. This is all according to dd1 of course, although I did get a letter telling me where I could download the free version of Minecraft and what platforms it was available on and that she would be allowed to bring her own tablet in on a Friday afternoon but that one would be provided if she didn't have one.

They also are given time during "freetime" to use the school's Macbook to contribute to the "homework" project, if they want to. Dd1 uses freetime to "build her bits of the world" confused because she doesn't have a login for Minecraft so can't do it from home. None of this means anything to me. All I know about Minecraft is that it is some kind of virtual lego game and there are things called creepers in it.

IamInvisible Wed 06-Nov-13 12:42:58

I would compromise with an iPad mini (£249 at John Lewis with a 2 year guarantee) or a different tablet.

We do have iPads, DH has an iPad mini, but my kids are older. They wouldn't have got one at 10.

I am having a similar argument with DS2 over an iPhone5s. I keep showing him how much the total contract costs, he still wants one. I point out the other phones that do exactly the same thing, he doesn't need the Apple specific things because he has an iPad, but he 'neeeeeeeeeeddddddddddsssssss' it! DS1(18) saw one contract that cost over £800, he said "fuck that for a phone!"

Isildur Wed 06-Nov-13 12:44:35

Apart from anything else, you'd need at least the 32GB model. So £400 wouldn't really cut it.

If you had oodles of cash and could afford to treat the thing like a toy, I'd say buy it.

If you exist within the realms of mere mortals, probably not.

Mumsyblouse Wed 06-Nov-13 12:46:32

So, my nearly 10 year old was right, everyone does have this stuff! Unfortunately for her, I don't want to spend £400 on anything, nor do we have it so her life lesson will have to remain you can't always have the stuff you want.

I am astonished how much stuff your dd has (mine has none of this, one cheapy tablet between the two of them, uses my laptop if spare). I am astonished your family got her a £55 doll as well off the telly.

I think you just need to be a bit firmer about material goods/what you want her to have. Plus in a few years, if she is still very into goods, she can get a paper round/part-time job to fund this.

Why don't you subscribe her to Minecraft -it's about £17!

Yardarm Wed 06-Nov-13 12:48:24

I wouldn't get one for my 10 yo. We got him a very much cheaper tablet which does most things fine. They have to learn they can't always have the best of everything. Luckily he doesn't maven much peer pressure from friends, which certainly helps.

2tiredtoScare Wed 06-Nov-13 12:48:43

What's suicide netting?

Yardarm Wed 06-Nov-13 12:49:25

doesn't HAVE much peer pressure!

KerwhizzedMyself Wed 06-Nov-13 12:50:51

Don't you think you should be more concerned about her following the "telly box" and being a sheep who is easily sold to than about whether to buy her another gadget or not? hmm

Greenkit Wed 06-Nov-13 12:55:33

Be thankful you dont have my daughter, who at the ripe old age of 17yrs would like a real live cow for Christmas...

DropYourSword Wed 06-Nov-13 12:55:43

Not sure if anyone has already said this, but if you do decide not to get it (as it sounds at the moment, and I don't blame you!!) then I think you should advise her rather than her find out on Christmas day. I KNOW she shouldn't be entitled etc but I truly think adults sometimes forget how it feels to be a kid and that they don't necessarily think rationally or logically. The one that's cheaper that does everything she needs IS a more logical choice, but it doesn't mean she won't be upset if she opens it at Christmas and it's not what she was expecting.
I'm not sure I'm really phrasing myself well here so I hope you get what I mean.

2tiredtoScare Wed 06-Nov-13 12:59:14

Last xmas my 3 year old was desperate for a wheelchair as a present

ErrolTheDragon Wed 06-Nov-13 13:00:32

>Be thankful you dont have my daughter, who at the ripe old age of 17yrs would like a real live cow for Christmas...

mine would like a cow too... though what she seriously wanted for the last two years was some hissing cockroaches. Kids can't always have what they want even if they're affordable!

Mmelindor Wed 06-Nov-13 13:01:08

Why does it have to be the Air?

What about compromising on a iPad mini?

I bought DS an Android tablet last year, and very much regret it. He never uses it, and prefers to pinch my old iPad1.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 13:02:45

Yes I get what you mean, DropYourSword, which is why I spent last night with her showing her different options and explaining the specifications and pros and cons to each version and reminding her that every other time she's not listened to me, she has been proven to be wrong in time a la the kindle.

At the moment she's been told that her choice is the Tab 2 or nothing unless she can give me a valid reason as to why only the ipad air will do and what and how it does that she needs it to do that the Tab 2 cannot do.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 06-Nov-13 13:04:36

perhaps you should ask that dratted teacher the same question (in relation to the needs of a child)

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 06-Nov-13 13:15:48

We bought our DCs an Android tablet to share last Christmas. It never gets used, instead they use our old iPad.

I think Do0in that you are right to not get this for her, it is very expensive and she is obviously prone to deciding she wants things on a whim just because they are new and shiny.

In principle though, there is nothing wrong with buying a tablet for a young child, and there is nothing wrong with spending £400, or £700, on a present for a child provided you can afford it.
Better to spend £400 on what they really want and is a good quality product, than half the amount on a huge pile of crappy toys that won't get played with.
MN hair-shirt hysteria about Christmas presents is very irritating!

2tired - here is a story about suicide netting

zipzap Wed 06-Nov-13 13:20:07

If her aunt is moving away from apple then get her to explain to your dd why. It might help if another adult she trusts who isn't a parent puts forth an opposing view!

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 13:37:54

Yes, she might listen to her Aunt, she does look upto her. I'll talk to her later and ask her to explain why she is moving from Apple.

As of this morning she was going in to school to ask her teacher why and how ipad Air is the best and why she needs one. I'm hoping he will be sensible enough to advise her that does not, in fact, need an ipad.

What galls me the most is not the price, more that I know that spec for spec I can get a lot more for my £400 if the product didn't have a piece of fruit stuck on the back of it. If she actually needed £400 worth of tech for what she wants to do with it, Apple would most likely be the last place I would be looking to spend my money. And the memory is a big issue, for storing films and making videos, she'll need a lot more than 16g. From Samsung I can get a 16g product for half the price Apple charge and then buy a memory card for a fiver. It's a no brainer to me.

2tiredtoScare Wed 06-Nov-13 13:45:18

Thanks Weile that's pretty shocking

DidoTheDodo Wed 06-Nov-13 13:48:06

Good Lord. She's 10.
The answer is a big fat no. That sort of stuff can wait until she is earning her own money!

CambridgeBlue Wed 06-Nov-13 13:55:12

The thing with Apple stuff is, if you use a Mac anyway then it all syncs together so smoothly and just works in a way Android/PC stuff doesn't tend to in my experience. It's so intuitive and beautiful. But if you are generally a PC household then an Apple product doesn't actually make that much sense - tell that to the brainwashed muppets who hang round the Apple store every weekend though!

I've been an Apple user all my life (work in the creative industry) so it's a no-brainer for me to have an iPhone and and iPad. But DH is PC based so he has an Android phone and a Kindle Fire. Both of our set-ups work well for us personally because they are what we're used to and familiar with.

I still stand by what I said upthread though, a £700+ gadget for a 10 year old would not be on my list of priorities however well it suited her needs. I agree that it sucks all the joy out of Christmas to have a kid saving up and selling their other stuff just to get the next 'must have' item and I don't think backing down on this would benefit her in the longterm.

I agree with what noblegiraffe said: Teaching "I want = I get" is the route to maxed out credit cards, debt and Brighthouse.

Bearbehind Wed 06-Nov-13 14:47:32

The bit I don't get is that this 'must have' present wasn't released until Friday. Given the teacher probably didn't receive/ get his until Saturday, your daughter has had a maximum of 2 school days exposure to this fanastic object.

She couldn't have even researched it much earlier as it was only launched 10 days before that so it's clearly just the latest whim.

I think your daughter sounds a bit spoilt tbh, the list of things she has been given/ bought but then changed her mind about is quite staggering for a 10 year old.

I'd be pretty pissed off with the teacher for encouraging his pupils to aspire to things that their parents probably can't afford or don't want them to have.

Kormachameleon Wed 06-Nov-13 14:48:52

Don't need to read the whole thread to know that ill be going against the grain here but I would buy it her

You said you can afford it

I would make a point of taking her to various shops to try the different options and if she still only wanted the ipad then I would buy it.

Imagine being asked what you want for Xmas and asking for a much coveted jo Malone candle then the buyer decides its just a candle and a cheaper one will do and you end up with an asda candle ? It burns and smells nice right ?

YouTheCat Wed 06-Nov-13 14:49:37

Does she realise she can play Minecraft on the XBox?

She probably already has all the tech she needs really.

diddl Wed 06-Nov-13 14:51:31

Really, all this angst & talking to an Aunt is ridiculous.

It's a no because it's not worth it for a 10yr old & that's it!

Bakingtins Wed 06-Nov-13 14:52:57

I'd give her the money you would be willing to spend on the tablet you think is suitable, and she can decide whether to get that now or to earn/save money towards the ipad.

A 3MP camera is completely crap by the way - about the level of the kiddie ones.

YouTheCat Wed 06-Nov-13 14:54:37

When I was 10 all I wanted for Christmas was a lovely shiny new desk. It was all I asked for. My mum had to explain to me that it was just too much. I was quite disappointed but got over it pretty quickly.

LoopaDaLoopa Wed 06-Nov-13 14:55:03

10 shock

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 15:05:23

She has the demo version of Minecraft on the Xbox. She's currently deciding which version she wants vouchers to buy the full version of between the PC/Xbox. Her Aunt is getting her the vouchers for her birthday.

She hasn't changed her mind about her Netbook, she still loves her netbook in all it's blue, shiny glory, she just now realises that had she bought a laptop instead, like I advised, she would be able to do more with it instead of having to pester me for access to my PC when she wants to play Sims 3 or whatever her latest obsession is that her Netbook is incapable of playing. It's only the Kindle she's changed her mind on.

The rest of the stuff she is willing to sell, she still uses and likes, just not as much as she'd like an ipad Air.

CoffeeTea103 Wed 06-Nov-13 15:08:15

You are making this a bigger issue by pandering back and forth with your dd. What's wrong with a no? You're the adult. Setting yourself up for all the more expensive things to come that you will have build cases for. She should appreciate what she already has.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 15:15:34

The expense is not the issue I have with the ipad, CoffeeTea. It's that she needs it simply because it is Apple's latest device so must the best.

Had she come to me and said "I need the new Note 3 tablet because it does X,Y and Z and is better than my Kindle because of A,B and C" I'd have happily said yes.

My issue is that she doesn't even know what exactly the ipad Air does that the tablets I am suggesting don't and that £1 per spec, it's not even the best on the market. She's just being an Apple sheep.

Ragwort Wed 06-Nov-13 15:23:07

Either say no or offer her the cost of whatever it is you are prepared to buy towards the ipad and she can then use her own savings/pocket money/Christmas cash gifts to make up the balance - is that a reasonable compromise?

I can't imagine this much pandering to a child over such an expensive gift.

<also joins old gimmers corner>

Pennyacrossthehall Wed 06-Nov-13 15:27:47

What Ragwort said - the conversation should be much shorter:

DD: "I want an iPad Air."
You: "Hahahahahahahha. No."

Bearbehind Wed 06-Nov-13 15:32:56

PMSL at 'she's just being an Apple sheep'

FFS she's 10, she's just being a sheep full stop and it just happens to be an Apple product she wants!

CambridgeBlue Wed 06-Nov-13 15:33:09

Imagine being asked what you want for Xmas and asking for a much coveted jo Malone candle then the buyer decides its just a candle and a cheaper one will do and you end up with an asda candle ? It burns and smells nice right ?

When you say it like that it sounds very reasonable until you remember that we're talking about a 10 year old!

HaroldLloyd Wed 06-Nov-13 15:34:27

Is she me. I had a kindle fire last Christmas and I hate the bloody thing.

I want an I pad! My 11 year old nephew is getting one for Christmas. I am 38 and I can't afford one.

It's not faaaaaaaaaaair.

I agree the solution is offering money towards it.

2tiredtoScare Wed 06-Nov-13 15:36:04

Have you looked into getting a reconditioned one Harold they are around £150 cheaper

FairPhyllis Wed 06-Nov-13 15:43:36

I think she sounds extremely susceptible to advertising and peer pressure, and working on that would be my priority, not bargaining with her over tablets.

How much time does she spend on all of these devices if she is still using most of them?

EvaBeaversProtege Wed 06-Nov-13 15:47:39

No way to a £700 one, thanks for that dooin.

We're looking at the Microsoft surface RT now for dd - cheaper & can add the keyboard. I know she'd be happy with that!!

Pawprint Wed 06-Nov-13 15:54:21

Just say no to her. I would love an iPad but can't afford one. They cost hundreds of pounds and are not, in my opinion, worth the expense. It's just the latest gadget still want one though

Badvoc Wed 06-Nov-13 15:56:42

Wouldn't she be happy with an iPad 2?
I am fine with buying tablets for dc...both mine have them and use them everyday (I am on ds1s now)
We did try and buy our younger child a cheaper android one and it was a disaster tbh.
Nothing wrong per se with android but apple is he market leader for a reason.
Also, they also have iPod shuffles and dh has an iphone5 so its handy to all be on the same operating system.
We paid £260 each for 2 ipad2s (well, family chipped in too for b day gifts)
I would not pay more than that tbh.

chicaguapa Wed 06-Nov-13 16:03:44

I have the Surface RT and it beats the iPad on everything except apps for wasting time. I wouldn't pay apple prices either, but I am a Microsoft fanboi. wink

I suspect the iPad air vs another tablet is going to be like asking for the latest trainers. Your mum gets you a cheaper pair that does exactly the same thing for less money, but they're not Nikes. confused

Personally I think apple products are very Emperor's new clothes, but that is very much the society we live in. Every time I see someone with the latest iPhone, they slip down a little in my estimation. But then maybe they judge me with my Windows 8 phone which is the dogs wotsits but they think is daft because it doesn't have an apple on it.

Maybe give her DD a pretend budget and/or a list of must haves on her tablet and send her into the shop to do her own research. Maybe then she'll see that she's not getting a lot of spec for her buck.

babycakemumma Wed 06-Nov-13 16:08:05

£700 on a tablet for a 10 year old?!?!?! Not a chance! Just say no. I have an 11 year old who knows the closest he'll get to any i labelled product us an eye patch ipatch. His joke not mine and yes I laughed!

Heartbrokenmum73 Wed 06-Nov-13 16:09:50

Good grief!

My DD is 12 at the end of the month. Do you know what she wants for Christmas? Sylvanian Families bits (we got starter stuff at a car boot), a Moxie Girlz doll and erm, that's it. DS (almost 9) has asked for a game for his 3DS (bought secondhand for his 8th birthday).

I have a used Kindle Fire and we have one laptop between us. We got a Wii four years ago because it was a free gift with my mobile contract, but it belongs to all of us.

My dc have been raised to understand that when they start wanting expensive gadgets (iPads? Really?) they can get a part-time job and pay for them themselves.

And when did things get so cold that a child who's only 9 is having open discussions about her Christmas present (no Father Christmas then?) and what she can sell in order to get her hands on it?

My kids are getting toys and games!

AdoraBell Wed 06-Nov-13 16:11:14

YANBU

If you feel she doesn't need it then she doesn't need it.

<hard nosed caah, me>

glastocat Wed 06-Nov-13 16:18:05

I have an Ipad 2 which I have adored since I got it. My 12 year old son got a Samsung Galaxy from his granny last Xmas as a very special present because we were emigrating. He was utterly speechless with joy! The Ipad is much nicer to use, but the Samsung is more than adequate for his needs. If I was totally loaded with money no object I'd buy him an Ipad, but as that is not the case there is no sodding way I'd pay out for the apple loveliness for a kid, the Samsung is more than adequate for everything he uses it for (yes, sodding Minecraft). grin

mitchsta Wed 06-Nov-13 16:18:52

YANBU! She is 10 and it costs hundreds and hundreds of pounds!!

My cousin is 11 and begged his mum for a smartphone for his birthday. I got a text from her about 3 weeks later asking if I had an old smartphone he could have because he's lost it already. I don't. He thinks she's the worst mum in the world because she won't replace it. She's sticking to her guns for now but I bet he'll have a new one by Christmas

Heartbrokenmum73 I'd have been overjoyed at Sylvanian Families when I was 10. They are still were amazing.

OP, FWIW... I remember begging my parents for stuff I wanted when I was a kid. Still remind them of some of those things now to make them feel like massive meanies. But honestly, I am genuinely GLAD that they could stand their ground against the begging pleading and pointing out of how much better other people's parents were. No-one likes a spoilt brat.

EvaBeaversProtege Wed 06-Nov-13 16:50:55

I think i may have caused some confusion, it was me mentioned the £700 one & asked for cheaper alternatives.

The one dd was looking is a windows one, newly advertised on tv. The one dh has said we'll get her is the Microsoft Surface RT. All she cares about is the keyboard being attachable.

Reality Wed 06-Nov-13 18:51:20

This is insane. Utterly batshit loop the loop crazy.

I have an 11yo and a 9yo (and a 2yo) and I dithered for ages over spending tesco vouchers on a 100 quid hudl each for them. How on earth do you even afford this kind of stuff?

YouTheCat Wed 06-Nov-13 19:13:56

Get her an iRon. grin

Badvoc Wed 06-Nov-13 20:20:24

Reality...some people can afford it easily.
Surely that's not to hard too understand?
I get so sick of posters coming on and telling everyone their kids are getting gifts made from hairspray and dust and anyone who buys tech or more expensive stuff are evil...fgs, if you can afford it and want to, then buy the bloody thing.
If you can't afford it or dont want to then don't!!

mrsjay Wed 06-Nov-13 20:23:45

you know you are going to buy her it anyway so you want a way for her to have it and justify the money when is her birthday I would give her money at christmas an d money for her birthday and she can have an ipad, TBH i wouldnt be getting a 10 yr old an ipad it is an expensive piece of equipment that i wouldnt spend.

Mim78 Wed 06-Nov-13 20:25:59

Could she sell those other things on ebay to raise some of the money. Then at least you would have less s**t in your house overall. Not saying you should give in but wondering if this could be beneficial to you!

Isildur Wed 06-Nov-13 20:27:07

There is that, Badvoc grin

I must admit, we're not short of techy stuff in this house, and £600 would be small change for many people.

It just sounds as though maybe the OP's daughter should be steered away from the 'easy come, easy go' attitude.

Mim78 Wed 06-Nov-13 20:27:14

PS obviously not her soul on e bay! Not sure if anyone has actually tried that...

Reality Wed 06-Nov-13 20:27:36

No, I didn't mean a general 'how do you afford it', I meant Dooin.

I know I'm not privy to the innermost workings of her finances, but I'm pretty sure she works in a takeaway and her dh doesn't bring home a fortune, either.

I'm genuinely baffled.

Me too, Reality.

I did lol at iRon though.

mrsjay Wed 06-Nov-13 20:31:33

doooin why dont you just say no instead of her trying to get teachers to help her case or she will go on and on until you give in, a simple NO should do her

SavoyCabbage Wed 06-Nov-13 20:32:55

It all sounds a bit sad to me. Playing on iPads in their free time at school, playing sims, 3DSs, Xboxes, minecraft, kindle fires, iPads that have only been available for a week. It's like another world.

My 10 year old doesn't play with dolls etc either. She never has. Hence the water colours this year.

mrsjay Wed 06-Nov-13 20:33:04

magine being asked what you want for Xmas and asking for a much coveted jo Malone candle then the buyer decides its just a candle and a cheaper one will do and you end up with an asda candle ? It burns and smells nice right ?

JO malone candles do not cos 100s of pounds and no 10 yr old wants a candle do they

Badvoc Wed 06-Nov-13 20:34:00

They could have saved up?
God forbid people working in take aways buy high end tech stuff, eh?
Ffs.

Korma er, yeah, it's a sodding candle.

Please god may I never reach the point in life where I covet a designer candle.

Badvoc Wed 06-Nov-13 20:37:08

So, kids who have iPads don't play?
My kids play; Monday night ds1 had football training, last night we were all at a bonfire party, tonight ds1 has been doing homework.
They also have iPads.
The two are not mutually exclusive!
Tomorrow ds2 had a hospital appt. no doubt we will be there some time. His iPad will keep him happy and amused whilst we wait instead of bored and anxious.

mrsjay Wed 06-Nov-13 20:39:50

Please god may I never reach the point in life where I covet a designer candle

grin

HaroldLloyd Wed 06-Nov-13 20:51:21

I had a ZX spectrum as a nipper and I still played.

That was the cutting edge of technology in my day.

StickEmUpSkyward Wed 06-Nov-13 20:51:39

We didnt have sky tv when i was 10!
I have a shit load of apple now thoughgrin

diddl Wed 06-Nov-13 20:55:58

"Please god may I never reach the point in life where I covet a designer candle."

grin

I love candles-never heard of Jo Malone.

A candle is a candle to me.

And a tablet's a tablet tbh.

If it does what I want, as cheap as possible, it's the thing for me!

HaroldLloyd Wed 06-Nov-13 20:57:13

SKY TELLY get you.

My mum and dad used to put on puppet shows.

Reality Wed 06-Nov-13 20:58:09

Puppets? Luxury. We had to make do with a shitty stick and an old shoe for entertainment.

HaroldLloyd Wed 06-Nov-13 20:58:13

This thread is upsetting me. Children have I pads and I don't.

Totally sucks. sad

StickEmUpSkyward Wed 06-Nov-13 20:59:39

Well i was sp bored i used to eat woodlice.
So fuck you all grin

Seriously, sky tv used to seem ultra posh to me.

HaroldLloyd Wed 06-Nov-13 21:00:54

I wasn't allowed sky telly. I wanted to watch American wrestling and had to make do with big cunting daddy.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 21:18:37

Reality - A tiny mortgage, saving throughout the year and as said in the last thread where my financial status, despite me not asking for financial advice, was questioned DH's promotion didn't hurt.

And yes, she plays. She has more paints than the local DIY store and she's fit and active.

MadAsFish Wed 06-Nov-13 21:20:44

we also need to buy a Mac because they are better than Windows PCs

Oh dear, someone's teacher is a macolyte.
They're computers, all useful and irritating in the same measure.
I will say that Mac laptops have THE worst moisture-proofing of any laptop I've pulled apart (and there have been quite a few - I work in IT support). It's almost as if they design them to fail easily...

hellymelly Wed 06-Nov-13 21:28:12

I'm still waiting for the large wooden rocking horse I spent my whole childhood wanting...<unhelpful>

YoureBeingASillyBilly Wed 06-Nov-13 21:28:22

WOW! shock

I don't think have ever seen such a huge list of gadgetry in reference to a 10 YEAR OLD!

I agree with whoever said she sounds spoilt.

there seems to be a huge amount of time/emphasis/value placed on 'the next best thing' for this little girl.

I agree also with whoever said that she will before long decide she has made a mistake in getting the ipad air and will simply need to have the latest version of whatever it is that is flavour of the month in January

Bearbehind Wed 06-Nov-13 21:30:19

Unless money is absolutely no object, i think it is beyond words that a 10 year old child thinks she can't live without a circa £500 item that has only been on sale for 5 fucking days.

The fact that the parent argues only on the grounds that it is an Apple item is incomprehensible to me.

The drama, the drama..............

Heartbrokenmum73 Wed 06-Nov-13 21:32:37

The teacher sounds like an absolute arse who is trying way too hard to be 'down wit da kidz'. Why he is encouraging all this gadgetry in class? You can guarantee that there will be children in that class who have none of this stuff at home - way to make them feel inadequate, Sir.

cheeseandpineapple Wed 06-Nov-13 21:33:37

Unless I've misread your posts OP, your daughter has been making expensive mistakes but not necessarily at her cost. Until she has to shoulder the financial burden of her choices, she will keep on asking for things which aren't necessarily suitable for her because there haven't really been any detrimental consequences (and having to "make do" with something ill chosen or outdated isn't really detrimental).

It also sounds like all the main gadgets she's wanted have come to her relatively easily and she's by no means alone on that front, we have that problem too.

If you're already willing to pay for one type of tablet, my inclination would be to give her the cash equivalent and let her save up for the tablet of her choice. Going through the process of earning what she really wants should focus her mind on whether that is really what she wants and if she has the patience to go for it. It could be a very good learning exercise for her -let her be financially responsible for her choice. Paying a premium for Apple might become less appealing when she figures out how long it will take to save up for one versus getting something to use straight away at Xmas.

I find my children are more discerning about parting with their money once they've earned and saved it themselves.

I'd also have a discreet word with her teacher, he isn't helping any of the kids if he's only pushing Apple and should be aware of the influence he has and not be careless with it.

toffeesponge Wed 06-Nov-13 21:34:36

Apple's mark up is 179% iirc.

Ds1 is 12 and thinks if I am getting an iphone he should get one too hmm. He wrote me 24 reasons why he should get one hmmagain. He is flipping child and is not getting one. I don't care what other children have.

foreverondiet Wed 06-Nov-13 21:38:11

Omg 10!

DD is 10. She wanted an iPod for her recent birthday - I gave her £50 towards it but told her she could only have if if she sold the 3ds she got for her 8th birthday... So she had to use birthday money from my parents pil and grandma as well as money from me and proceeds so basically it was her only birthday present apart from small stuff from friends.

Still can't believe that a 10 year old has a kindle fire and a Ds and an iPod and you are considering iPad air?

Why not suggest she sells all her old devices on eBay and you'll give her something towards it.

My dd is so happy now about iPod that she knows that Xmas will be small present - might buy her Bluetooth speaker or something similar.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Wed 06-Nov-13 21:40:31

I have to say I would also be less than impressed with math lessons consisting of only minecraft! hmm

Peachypossum Wed 06-Nov-13 21:55:57

What does being 10 have to do with it? My Ds wanted various consoles from around 9, seems perfectly reasonable and you see lots of posts referring to kids 10 and younger playing on them. Consoles are bloody expensive too and then need games and gadgets.

Also your budget finances are irrelevant as you have stated you can afford it, your bank account is your business, why are people judging?

Personally my dd would not get it, she is 10 too but just not into her gadgets enough to look after it, although I got her a cheap tablet that under performs hugely compared to my iPad mini and she gets fed up with it and borrows mine instead. Part of me wishes I'd just gone for the extra expense and got her something of better quality. However your daughter sounds like a gadgety type who would cherish and use to the max. If photos are her thing then a lesser camera is a big step down. If this was my dd I would consider two options, the lesser tablet after taking her to play with them in store and a warning the pad was a step too far or the pad but as joint present with a contribution from herself. I would give the choice after she has had the chance of actually trying them out rather than just reading reviews.

My dd wants money for a shopping spree/comfy pjs etc. Poor thing has hit puberty earlier than her friends who are still into dolls etc, very difficult age if you're a little ahead of the pack developmentally. It seems an age that's so hard to judge on a thread as the 10 year old girls I know all vary so much in maturity/hobbies etc. I guess this is just the start as teenage years appear ;)

Peachypossum Wed 06-Nov-13 21:58:39

Cheese has my third option grin chores & earning to get up to the next level. I've never employed this for traditional gifts bet certainly if they want something above and beyond pocket money.

foreverondiet Wed 06-Nov-13 22:02:24

I don't agree that if you have more money coming in means spending more on DC Xmas and birthday presents. Just because my dh earns a good salary does not mean that I want my dc to be spoilt brats! I said on this thread my dd got an iPod for her birthday but she had a sell her 3ds and use money from grandparents as well as us. She knows Xmas will be small presents - due to iPod - I am thinking Bluetooth speaker and some books. Dh has iPad 2 and dd does use it quite a lot.

PolyesterBride Wed 06-Nov-13 22:03:33

And when did things get so cold that a child who's only 9 is having open discussions about her Christmas present (no Father Christmas then?) and what she can sell in order to get her hands on it?

I agree with this. I also think that if she's just being led by ads in tv/other people you should just say no until you think she understands the value of what she is asking for. I don't think it's about whether you can afford it or not - loads of people get their kids expensive stuff - but that it's part of your job to help her understand about cost, value for money, budgeting etc.

Theas18 Wed 06-Nov-13 22:04:52

Blimey at 10? and she's already got form for flogging birthday gifts to buy one tablet which a year down the line she's not happy with? That's not ideal is it?

Mind you I was cats bum mouthed when my niece "saved her birthday and Xmas money" to get a retina display ipad. My kids don't get that much in a year and they are significantly older (she was 13) . THe key was actually her parents gave her most of the ££ and she wasn't fooled and noone else was- she bats her eye lids and gets what she wants.

HaroldLloyd Wed 06-Nov-13 22:26:48

I pads are the devils work thats for sure. Bloody bloody ipads.

Anotherdayanotherdestiny123 Wed 06-Nov-13 22:43:16

She's 10, you need your head looking at if you are considering buying a 10 year old an iPad air, sorry, but life isn't about getting whatever you want. She's a little girl and I would categorically say absolutely not.

ThornSayre Wed 06-Nov-13 23:44:09

Seriously?

My thirteen year old carelessly cracked her smartphone screen a year ago and has had to live with it although I did offer to replace it with this grin

Utter madness.

D0oinMeCleanin Thu 07-Nov-13 00:29:21

Thorn, she uses my smart phone for Skype and tells me off for not looking after it properly (gotta love Gorilla glass, it's saved me many a time from phablet + tiled floor incidents, the tiles did not fare so well)

I'm not worried about her not looking after it, I know she will. In how ever many years time she wishes to upgrade, whatever she gets will still be in mint condition and she'll have hidden the box and documentation away somewhere too.

ThornSayre Thu 07-Nov-13 00:39:11

Blimey. She seems amazingly savvy for her age.

My DD is self-absorbed, sloppy, disorganised, unmotivated, and yes, spoilt even though she doesn't have half the things your DD has. Quite normal for thirteen grin

I wouldn't buy my ds an ipad but I wouldn't by myself an ipad either.

BUT, I think some people on this thread are being abit harsh on DOoin. She hasn't said she is getting the ipad, she is rambling her thoughts out. And if she does, it is up to her and her dh. I think it is harsh to slate a 10 year old for wanting something that is being waved under her nose by spmeone influential in her life. I know it doesn't mean she can always have what she wants but you can't blame a girl for trying.

Have all those indicating she should be grateful for a doll.and not whine never ever mooned over owning something just out of reach before? Bloody hell, I'm 37 and doing it now over a pair of boots, so badly I'm even considering bidding on an ex display pair in 'odd' colours where faded that might be in reach.

I'm also a little bit hmm that so many people have such careless kids that they can't be trusted. Ds is 8 and has had access to his ds, our tablet, laptop and phones for years and has always been careful. I can honestly say he has never broken a toy himself.

I'm not saying DOoin should get her it, but it is up to them. If you only want to get your dd a doll, great. But it's a bit hatsh to say othet people are crazy if they don't. £400 is too much for me at xmas, but MN is the only place I have ever come accross competative lack of spending on gifts for children.

chrome100 Thu 07-Nov-13 07:28:14

Admittedly I don't have kids but I am shock at all the stuff she already has - Kindle? DS? iPod? is that normal nowadays?

ElleMcFearsome Thu 07-Nov-13 08:17:42

DH (50) also needs the iPad Air for Xmas. As he's the money earner, technically he could have it (we tend to do agreed Xmas presents so no nice surprises but no grotty ones either!) But there is no way in hell our current disposable income facilitates this. So he's not getting one either smile

We have 2 iPads in our house, DH's original one and my iPad2. That's how it's staying for a while.

I feel your pain re Xmas presents though. DDs are 15 and 17 and seem to be unable to think of anything they want (yes, they both have smartphones and netbooks already). Xmas has been getting steadily more expensive since they started high school and yes there is a heck of a lot of peer/cultural pressure to have the latest iThing/jacket/trainers but we've always followed the 'if you save half, we'll pay for the other half' rule, which rapidly put them off the very expensive stuff.

BUT, my best, never beat-able memory of Xmas was the year I was 12 and my parents bought me a Levi denim jacket. We weren't well off and although I'd (loudly) longed for one, I didn't dare to dream I'd get one. My DM has embarassing photos of me crying when I opened it and realised what it was. I still have it even though I can't fit into it and it's doing sterling service as the DDs are wearing it now 'vintage' is all fashionable!

chrome I don't think there is a normal amount of gadgets for a 10 year old.
Everyone is different. I am sure everyone will tell me that my ds2, also 10 is spoilt because he has an iPod touch, a third share in an iPad 2, an Xbox and half a playstation 3.

I don't really care. If I can afford it, really afford it I mean, so I actually have the money to spend without using credit or going without something essential, then I do not see what the problem is. He has football 3 times a week, swimming once, he reads a lot, draws, paints, walks round the house singing songs he makes up. And he has a few gadgets.
What's the issue?

I am upgrading my iPad 2 in December to the air. I have a 3G contract so it will cost me £100 to upgrade. Then the DCs can have the retina display iPad and technically we all get an upgrade grin
But that is not their Christmas present.

And my teenager have iPhones runs away to hide

Lavenderhoney Thu 07-Nov-13 08:44:33

I would be having a chat with the maths teacher who appears to have shares in Applesmile also I would question minecraft during lessons and free time to play minecraft.

This reminds me of dh maths teacher who just taught chess to the children in his group. They all failed their maths, but can play a mean game of chess. His parents knew but assumed teacher knew best.

Is she doing the research herself? No. So until she is I wouldn't buy it. She seems to have the measure of you thoughsmile

Her reasons don't warrant it. Still, I suppose if it keeps her quiet, until something else comes along. Just hope her teacher isn't into horse racing and betting to teach maths next year.

mrsjay Thu 07-Nov-13 08:50:54

dooin if you are not worried about her breaking it and you can afford i am not sure what you are asking , i seem to remember a thread about the kindle and whether to get her one, why dont you just buy her the Ipad and be done with it, I dont think you should be negotiating terms with a 10yr old just get her one, <shrug>

Dooin regarding a comment you made aaages back about the charger. I have a Galaxy Tab 2 and it has a different charger to my Samsung phone. It's not the generic USB charger.

Dobbiesmum Thu 07-Nov-13 10:49:27

Minecraft on the PC is being used in various curriculums in other countries as a tool for teaching computer programming among other things, not sure about on IPads as I don't think the game is quite as up to date on there.
www.edutopia.org/blog/minecraft-in-classroom-andrew-miller
YANBU to say no at the moment, I would tell her something like she could save pocket money and do chores to earn a portion of the money, she could save her birthday money to contribute and you would make up the rest or something similar.
Tab 2's suck btw. I'm biased as we have currently got 2 that died at the same time despite being practically pampered and Samsung can't/won't do anything... angry

D0oinMeCleanin Thu 07-Nov-13 13:44:58

mrsjay, I was trying to ask would getting a comparable tablet be worth it, since she is so adamant that it is only the ipad air she wants and would it be fair to get a comparable tablet, not because we cannot afford the one she really wants but because I cannot bear to hand over £400+ to Apple knowing I could have gotten a lot more in terms of hardware for my money.

We've chosen one now anyway, that is not Apple, but does everything dd1 wants it to as well or better than the ipad does and is more intergratable with the software we already have and has sufficient memory for what she will be using it for. I am sure she will be happy with what we have decided on. Morton, the pink ipig is staying and I doubt that she'd get more than £3 for her ancient Nano anyway, so she can keep that too.

fuzzpig Fri 08-Nov-13 22:04:40

So have you told her she definitely won't be getting it? (I agree YANBU anyway)

At 10 - no.

azzbiscuit Fri 08-Nov-13 22:58:58

Yanbu. If you teach her not to be swayed by gimmicky marketing and be ripped off hundreds of pounds extra for less functional technology that apple have made billions out of by exploiting the gullible she will thank you when she is older.

ErrolTheDragon Mon 11-Nov-13 14:29:44

I allowed DH to go unaccompanied into the Apple store this weekend and - with no knowledge of this discussion - announced to me that the Air really wasn't much lighter than his existing iPad and he really couldn't see what the fuss was about. Given that he was both bored and thinking about what he'd like for xmas it really can't be that impressive.

Sounds like you've come to a sensible conclusion Dooin. smile

Ragwort Mon 11-Nov-13 16:57:59

An hour or more in the Apple Store is a useful bribe if I have to take my 12 year old shopping - like a creche for teenagers grin.

Spiritedwolf Tue 12-Nov-13 00:30:00

I think it would be sensible for her to learn more about how advertising and branding work. Children are growing up more bombarded with advertising messages than ever before, and it doesn't help if schools and teachers are encouraging children to be passive consumers of (expensive) technology rather than creators and coders .

The Story of Stuff touches on the problem of Planned Obsolecence and/or Percieved Obsolescence.

Projects like Alice and products like Raspberry Pi would give your DD (and many other children) a better grounding in technology than being able to use the latest Apple or Microsoft product (as handy as that is). These are just the resources I've come across when looking at this subject, I'm sure there are many different approaches to suit all skill levels and interests.

Being exposed to less advertising would be good, but I guess they get it second hand through their peers (and teachers hmm ) at 10 years.

I don't believe in not taking children's wants and desires seriously just because they are children. Advertising and peer pressure are powerful things for making us want things that aren't necessarily what we need. So I wouldn't scoff but I also wouldn't give them everything they want. I'd want to explore what she felt the difference was between two tablets with similar specs but one branded apple, does she think that if she has the apple one she'd seem cooler, that she'd have people look up to her the way the class does the teacher etc.

I think that either getting the cheaper but good tablet, or giving her the cost of it to save up for the one she wants are good ideas. Though if photography is important to her, she could get a rather good camera instead - using the cameras on tablets is never going to be quite as good as a camera with a good optical zoom.

Hope whatever she gets she is happy with and appreciates it.

CanucksoontobeinLondon Tue 12-Nov-13 00:48:13

If you don't want to buy her the iPad Air, can you just give her a cheque for however much you would've spent on the other tablet? No it won't cover the whole purchase price, but if she asks for cash from other relatives for Christmas as well, that should cover it. I realize other people have already made this suggestion, but I think it's a good suggestion.

If you get her the tablet she's already said she definitely doesn't want, that's a recipe for a big tantrum on Christmas Day.

theaandrea Tue 12-Nov-13 01:25:35

Why does it have to be the iPad AIR?

You could get her a refurb or 2nd hand iPad2 for a fraction of the cost of the Air

GoshAnneGorilla Tue 12-Nov-13 02:10:25

I'm not believing all these tales of supposedly rubbish Android tablets, I would take a decent Android product over any Apple product, any day. < shuddering at itunes flash back>

When I was 12, I wanted as SNES with Street Fighter 2 for xmas. However it was £160 so I didn't get it. Such was life and I was still very pleased with my xmas presents.

Noblegiraffe is spot on.

Do Apple still do that thing where you have to use their special Apple chargers? Like in the 90s when you could only print from a Mac using an Apple printer?

They got away with it then because you could only get decent FTP software for Apple and the alternatives were rubbish. Lord knows how they get away with their control freakery now.

DTP, not FTP. They're still tossers.

differentnameforthis Tue 12-Nov-13 10:03:22

10? Bloody hell! My daughter is 10 & had none of that! She has a cheapie MP3 that she bought herself ($30) and a ds that we bought her 3 yrs ago!

Seriously, why do children need so many gadgets? Apple really have you sucked in, don't they!

WhereIsMyHat Tue 12-Nov-13 10:07:37

To be fair to your DD, we had a tab 2 and it was rubbish. We sold it and some other things to pay for an ipad which is much better.

What does it have to be ipad air and not a standard ipad?

differentnameforthis Tue 12-Nov-13 10:09:58

Surely we all remember the one Christmas when we didn't get the one thing in all the world which we wanted. It doesn't damage us as people, but there is always a memory of the disappointment

Mine was lego. Not a fecking ipad costing upwards of 400 pounds. And guess what...it didn't actually harm me not to have it! Go figure!

WhereIsMyHat Tue 12-Nov-13 10:15:23

Ha, I remember being a teenager and everyone was getting mobile phones for Christmas and the one to get was a Nokia 5110 that you could change the cover on and play the original snake. I got a BT cellnet phone that wasn't anywhere near as cool.

I've always been one step behind mobile wise ever since.

differentnameforthis Tue 12-Nov-13 10:24:00

She told me she knows how to use Apple because the school have ipad 2 which they are allowed to use freely in her class and she's had a go on her teacher's ipad air

She is very good isn't she? Making you think that only the ipad will do, as she can already use it.

We have a Galaxy tab 2. My daughter uses her schools ipads. She has no issues going between the two. We used a friend's ipad before we got our tab to see if it was something we would use & we hated the actual machine, (slow, clumsy, bulky) but liked the idea of accessibility on the go (could only use on wifi). So opted for the galaxy, although we got ours on a contract, not wifi, so we don't lose coverage when out & about.

Dh has an iphone for work, we all hate it, inc him, but he can't change it. He can't download stuff that is over a certain size without wifi (which we don't have) so has to wait to do updates/downloads files/games at work. I have a Samsung & no limit on my downloads. A lot of apps on iphone have changed (youtube, fb) and he finds them confusing to use now, whereas on my android, they are the same.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 12-Nov-13 10:25:07

The one Christmas? The deal in our house was that we'd look through the catalog, feast our eyes on what was there and then choose one item that was within the (unstated) budget (about £5 but I'm talking ~1970) and keep our desires to ourselves. One year, I'd chosen the sensible sewing box and by mistake an Etch-a-Sketch which cost twice as much arrived and I was allowed to keep it ... can you imagine many kids today being overjoyed at such unthinkable luck? grin

A 10 year old with an iPad Air? No, just no.

Buy cheap, buy twice!

Last yr dd wanted a tablet. We bought her a laptop so she could also do her homework etc.

Guess what she saved up for?

GoshAnneGorilla Tue 12-Nov-13 19:53:56

But you can get a very good tablet for under £150 and an excellent tablet for £300. There is no need to spend £700. It's nonsense.

theaandrea Wed 13-Nov-13 00:12:09

Seriously, look at this: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Apple-iPad-2-16GB-Black-WiFi-MC769LL-A-Engraved-w-Contact-Info-Fair-Condition-/190963780538?pt=US_Tablets&hash=item2c76540bba

If she wants Apple, this is Apple. And you know what? There's not really a huge lot of difference beteen this ipad and the 3 or the 4th gen, so there's prob not a huge diff between it and the air either. I've not felt any need to upgrade mine and it's 1st generaton!

fridgepants Wed 13-Nov-13 16:42:23

Surely we all remember the one Christmas when we didn't get the one thing in all the world which we wanted. It doesn't damage us as people, but there is always a memory of the disappointment.

For my birthday one year, I wanted some kind of electronic diary, which looked cool as it had functions to send messages to friends and secret code things. It was crazy expensive and my parents were right not to get me one (they were gimmicky and frankly not that great) even if I didn't quite think that at the time. they could have afforded it, but didn't think it was worth the money. However, I didn't expect one, and when I didn't get one, I wasn't too disappointed.

What did disappoint me was my mum thinking it was funny to wrap up a cheap pound-shop organiser and decorate the packaging to look like one of these diaries - it felt a bit like taking the piss.

Getting her a cheaper tablet is not taking the piss.

LtEveDallas Wed 13-Nov-13 18:10:15

DD is 8. She has my old iPhone, a Kindle and an iPad3 (and she's better than me at using all of them!)

<<runs from thread>>

paperlantern Wed 13-Nov-13 21:28:37

So let me get this straight. she uses the techie gadgets she has and you can afford it. Why the heck wouldn't you?!?!?!

in the modern world computer gadgets are a part of most if not all jobs. they are updated changed as people find things do and don't work about them.

most girls come out of education under skilled technology wise. part of that learning comes from playing with the things and using them.

3mp cameras are rubbish. if she's into photos that is reason alone to upgrade.

paperlantern Wed 13-Nov-13 21:33:21

ps if necessary work with her to sell old technology to pay for it and seriously make it THE birthday celebration.

DumSpiroSpero Wed 13-Nov-13 22:27:43

YANBU!

If she wants it mostly for photos and video then get her a non-apple tablet and a decent digital camera.

My IL's bought DD an iPad for Xmas last year. The one and only time I let her use it out of the house to take photos it ended up face down on a concrete floor with the screen smashed to smithereens. I had no alternative but to fork out £250 to get it replaced as MIL would have gone ballistic had she found out.

I have never cursed a gadget so much in my life!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now