To wish house guests would bring their own towels?

(142 Posts)
Isthisstormcomingorwhat Sun 03-Nov-13 20:08:45

Just had guests to stay this weekend. They used four towels between two of them, and as we don't have a tumble dryer I now have four towels plus a set of bed linen hanging up to dry in the house.

Would it be unreasonable to ask future guests to bring their own towels (assuming they are driving and not travelling by public transport in which case I appreciate they might not want to carry too much with them).

Love having guests to stay, hate all the washing!

LaTrucha Sun 03-Nov-13 20:10:10

Sorry, I would think this was deeply strange and off putting. Isn't providing for their needs one thing about being hospitable?

I hate my house festooned with washing too, but I love friends coming to visit.

Vivacia Sun 03-Nov-13 20:10:58

It wouldn't be very hospitable.

Isthisstormcomingorwhat Sun 03-Nov-13 20:11:35

Fair enough. I always pack my own towel if I am going to stay with people. I only expect a towel to be provided if I am staying in a hotel.

weeblueberry Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:09

That's just part and parcel of having guests

You wouldn't ask them to bring their own bed sheets I hope

lovelilies Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:15

I wouldn't expect to bring my own towel when visiting..shock
maybe next time lay out one towel for each guest?

YesterdayI Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:19

I think it would be fine to ask if they were coming fir a weekend and going home afterwards. Depends on who you are inviting and the circumstances but I wouldn't mind at all especially if I knew you didn't have a tumble dryer.

Norudeshitrequired Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:25

YABVU

Bollockeyes Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:50

YAB a teeny bit U...would you expect them to bring their own plates due to more washing up??

Isthisstormcomingorwhat Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:13

They only came to stay for one night.
No of course I would not ask them to bring bed sheets grin

Bonsoir Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:19

Go to the launderette if you haven't got drying space.

Chocovore Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:31

Part and parcel of having guests to stay. There are other options tugh. You could have given them just one towel each. You didn't have to wash all that in one go, and why not dry outside anyway?

lovelilies Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:32

Or if you have a ton of washing, pop to the laundrette to dry it

Artandco Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:37

Surely just put a towel on their bed per person so they use less? Ie x2 towels and just say there are some clean fresh towels on the bed for them

Alternatively have you considered hammam towels? They are much thinner and so dry quicker. They are handy for travel with/ using on beach/ as a sarong also. If you have no dryer they might benefit using all the time.

We use the hand towel size all the time and bath sheet size for travelling or as a beach mat to sit on

Jaynebxl Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:38

I'm with LaTrucha. Just make sure you have spare towels then you can wash them at your leisure. When I was a student we all took our own towels if we went to stay with friends but since we became grown ups and got our own homes things gave changed.

Isthisstormcomingorwhat Sun 03-Nov-13 20:13:50

No because it doesn't take four days for plates to dry grin

CMOTDibbler Sun 03-Nov-13 20:14:16

If I was staying with friends, I'd much rather they asked me to bring towels, even bed linen than seething about it.

skillsandtea Sun 03-Nov-13 20:14:30

A lot of people would be offended if you took your own towel/bedding however well-meaning.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sun 03-Nov-13 20:14:44

ITSCOW
My aunt loathes it as well, she goes to the local laundrette and has a service wash done with towels and laundry it isn't very expensive and it certainly seems to ease the aftermath smile

I usually take a small towel with me when staying with friends - but that is only so I don't get mascara all over their towels. I do the same if I go to a hotel / guest house. I will still use their towels for showering though.

I wouldn't expect anybody to bring their own towels if I invited them to stay.

nextphase Sun 03-Nov-13 20:16:03

I'd supply the towels, but throw the towels and sheets in the washing basket til I could start drying them outside - got towels almost dry outside yesterday, and sheets today. You just need it to be dry and breasy, and things dry soooo much quicker inside after a couple of hours out.

Hulababy Sun 03-Nov-13 20:16:17

We just put out one towel per person on the spare bed when guests come, plus there is always a hand towel in the bathroom.

It is one less thing for people to have to pack and think about when coming to stay. Yes it make smore washing for the host - but ime it is expected. And tbf we never take towels with us when we visit people either. Easier not to.

yummymumtobe Sun 03-Nov-13 20:17:10

Not unreasonable I think. Depends on who it is of course. We stayed with BIL last weekend and forgot towels. They have 3 kids so enough washing as it is so felt bad creating more washing for them by having to borrow a towel. I usually put a towel out if someone stays over but wouldn't mind being asked to bring a towel to someone's house.

Bollockeyes Sun 03-Nov-13 20:17:33

grin consider my bum smacked for being a sarky buggar.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Sun 03-Nov-13 20:17:43

It is not the done thing to ask guests to bring their own towels to someone's house. Take them to tumble dry at the launderette.

Go

sleeplessbunny Sun 03-Nov-13 20:18:09

Not sure how they managed to use 2 towels each during a one-night stay, that would annoy me too. I usually put out 1 (large) towel per guest, and I haven't had guests weird or rude enough to help themselves to additional towels not that there would be any clean ones available anyhow

But I think it is normal and expected to provide your guests with 1 towel each.

Blu Sun 03-Nov-13 20:19:12

It depends on circumstances. If we are gathering at someone's house for an event and they are putting people up and have a houseful and catering I would offer to take own bedding and would take towels. If invited very much as a guest I wouldn't but I would never treat a hist's house like a hotel and use more than one towel!

Isthisstormcomingorwhat Sun 03-Nov-13 20:20:44

So looks like I am being unreasonable on balance blush

Unfortunately I don't have time for laundrettes at work full time 8am-7pm. Will just have to continue to dry at home

ICameOnTheJitney Sun 03-Nov-13 20:21:30

You'd hate us! We get through about 4 each a weekend! I have very thick hair which needs it's own towel after a shower!

Going against the grain here, I do ask people to being stuff when they stay over. Mainly because we have a tiny house so don't really have space to store extra bedding and pillows. I don't tend to ask them to bring towels, but it does mean that in a weekend we use our entire supply of clean towels which is a pain when it comes to washing.

Also, I don't mind people asking us to bring stuff whenever we stay with friends. If your guests are the type to get upset about you asking, is it worth having them stay at all?

harticus Sun 03-Nov-13 20:22:26

Blimey ... bit inhospitable.
Do you have big signs up in the bathroom telling them not to use all the hot water too?

They can have as many towels as they like in my house.
They can eat what they want and drink what they want and do what they like as long as it doesn't startle the dog or stain the carpet

garlicbutter Sun 03-Nov-13 20:23:19

I certainly wouldn't take it for granted I had to bring towels! I've had people ask me to bring my own stuff before, though, and do if asked. I'd draw the line at a duvet if travelling on public transport, but have brought my own in the car - again, when asked to.

I always provide 2 towels each for guests. AIBU? confused

NancyShrew Sun 03-Nov-13 20:23:57

I am a fussy arsehole guest, but if someone asked me to bring my own towels I genuinely wouldn't bat an eyelid. I'd just assume they didn't have enough or something?

littlewhitebag Sun 03-Nov-13 20:25:09

My parents bring their own towels to save me washing them, even though I have a tumble drier. I find it a little weird tbh. Otherwise expect to supply and wash all my guests towels.

RoxanneReidsChafingFishnets Sun 03-Nov-13 20:25:19

I take a towel when I stay out but its for my hair as my hair dye stains everything red

NancyShrew Sun 03-Nov-13 20:26:28

I actually find it quite odd that someone would be offended at being asked to bring their own towel. Hardly like you'd be asking them to bring the weekly shop!

Artandco Sun 03-Nov-13 20:27:42

Ic - with thick hair I just dry body, then use that towel and wrap on hair. 4 towels would drive me Barmy laying aroun wet

Christelle2207 Sun 03-Nov-13 20:28:22

I would always expect towels to be provided and always offer towels when people come here - in the case of ladies a big one and a small one. Possibly just one for a guy.
The only exception to this was once I had so many people over I had to ask those that were driving to bring their own because I didn't have enough.

ICameOnTheJitney Sun 03-Nov-13 20:28:31

Noooo....I can't stand there all drippy! I never GET dry unless I wrap my hair up immediately.

CloverkissSparklecheeks Sun 03-Nov-13 20:30:02

I always would expect to provide towells for guests, I would put 1 big towell and 1 hair towell on their bed. We also have a pool and I provide slippers, dressing gowns and towells for that. It definitely is a bit of a faff doing all the washing/drying for thick items like that but if you offer to host then thats how it is IMO.

blackteaplease Sun 03-Nov-13 20:30:29

I don't think it's that bad to ask people to bring towels. I always take my own towel when I go to other people's houses, but then I also always provide towels for guests that come here.

CloverkissSparklecheeks Sun 03-Nov-13 20:30:53

BTW I wouldn't mind if someone asked me to bring towells or bedding as I would just assume they didn't have enough.

frogspoon Sun 03-Nov-13 20:33:29

YAB a bit U, unless you are having lots of guests.

Towels are quite bulky. If guests were only visiting overnight they probably only want to bring a little bag.

Go to the laundrette.

mrscog Sun 03-Nov-13 20:34:54

I wouldn't mind if a friend asked me to bring towels - not at all and I wouldn't think it inhospitable. I tend to take my own towel anyway to save on their washing!

Preciousbane Sun 03-Nov-13 20:36:58

Mil always brings her own sheets, pillow and towels, I was hugely insulted when she first used to stay. She did explain it helps her sleep, she is quite set in her ways and now I'm just glad that I don't get extra washing.

I would never ask someone to bring them.

RufusandJasper Sun 03-Nov-13 20:37:08

yes I take my own towel to save other people the washing, especially if just staying for the one night

YesterdayI Sun 03-Nov-13 20:37:16

Blimey, you lot must have very judgey friends. confused I generally only have close friends and family stay in my house and they wouldn't give a monkeys if I asked them to bring their own towels.
We don't think anything of getting visitors to bring sleeping bags for their kids and, likewise, we get asked to bring sleeping bags for our kids.

garlicbutter Sun 03-Nov-13 20:39:19

Am I the only one who REALLY wants to go & stay with Cloverkiss?

ebaymad Sun 03-Nov-13 20:40:23

I would be happy to bring my own towel.

I's be happy you could feel it's ok to ask me without feeling i'd be offended.

gemmal88 Sun 03-Nov-13 20:40:44

Eh? YABU!

DeckSwabber Sun 03-Nov-13 20:40:45

I usually bring my own towels.

And I would be happy to being a sleeping bag if it meant someone was spared having to wash bed linen after only one night.

I just hate the idea of extra washing and the impact on the environment, energy bills etc.

bellablot Sun 03-Nov-13 20:41:56

This is annoying actually, guests using a fresh towel everyday, why can't they re-use the same one twice, especially annoying if staying for longer than two days! confused

However, asking them to bring their own towels is a little mean spirited and it might dampen their enjoyment, suck it up and get on with it, it's not every weekend

Catnap26 Sun 03-Nov-13 20:44:45

I wouldn't want to have to take my own towel so YABU but to use FOUR towels between the two of them just for a weekend that is totally unreasonable.

notthefirstagainstthewall Sun 03-Nov-13 20:45:40

With you Op. Just me and a young DS so we don't have many towels to start with. if we have parents or friends over it can be tricky.

Where do you find a launderette these days? Never had one in my town nearby local villages.

KatherinaMinola Sun 03-Nov-13 20:46:26

It enrages me beyond belief when house guests bring their own towels I'm looking at you, PIL

OP, YABU.

ajandjjmum Sun 03-Nov-13 20:46:46

I always take my own towels. But I always provide them for guests - if they've brought their own, ours tend to just be moved to one side. I do like those sort of guests, but would NEVER ask.

ZaZazebra Sun 03-Nov-13 20:47:04

Yabu of course you should provide towels for your guests!

kiriwAnyFuckerwa Sun 03-Nov-13 20:49:57

I make my guests bring their own towels. I've had 4 lots of guests over half term, all self-invited. Love having them to stay but I'm not running a sodding B&B/laundry. I change the sheets but they bring their own towels (or - gasp - don't have a shower until they get home).

lottiegarbanzo Sun 03-Nov-13 20:54:10

I don't understand what's difficult about bunging a load of sheets and towels in the wash, hanging them up and putting away. Much quicker than hanging and folding clothes.

I dislike having to ask for towels when staying with people, if they haven't put them out and there isn't an obvious stack in the bathroom.

Not sure why they needed four though - pre-MN I had never encountered the phenomenon of people believeing towels to be 'dirty' after being used once (but such people appear to congregate here!)

I'd find being expected to travel home with damp towels in my bag most odd (though do have one of those instant dry, lightweight camping ones for staying in hostels, swimming etc).

marriedinwhiteisback Sun 03-Nov-13 21:00:26

If you have guests you make sure they havet he linen they need I think. Sorry, just the way it is.

Mintyy Sun 03-Nov-13 21:03:10

Mil and fil bring their own bath towels, pillows and duvet. I provide bottom sheet and hand towels, plus all meals and drinks for 3 days. Love them for it.

ChippingInLovesAGoodBang Sun 03-Nov-13 21:07:25

I sometimes take towels, sometimes don't - depends on the friends I'm going to.

I wouldn't have any problem taking them if asked.

I would have a problem with someone seething about me having used towels in their home when I'd been invited to stay.

ChippingInLovesAGoodBang Sun 03-Nov-13 21:08:52

Oh and I don't expect anyone to bring towels if they come here - I'm happy to bung another wash or two on & dry them.

KatherinaMinola Sun 03-Nov-13 21:09:10

Really Minty? Maybe it is a MIL and FIL thing?

BackforGood Sun 03-Nov-13 21:10:29

I would always take a towel with me when staying at a friend's. If they were kind enough to put me up, I would do whatever I could to ensure that it didn't create anymore extra work than was necessary. I usually offer to bring a pillow and sleeping bag too, if I'm honest. Why wouldn't you ? confused

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Sun 03-Nov-13 21:12:53

Depends who it is, I wouldn't ask anyone other than very close friends or close family.

I took a towel on my travels when I had newly dyed red hair, otherwise I find I am provided with a towel by my host.

Thants Sun 03-Nov-13 21:13:20

If they are travelling by car then that's fine. Most people like their own towels anyway. If they are travelling by train then no let them use your towels.

marriedinwhiteisback Sun 03-Nov-13 21:14:52

Ha ha Mintyy smile. I've got MIL here for the week - she likes to get her money's worth because of the fare. Now in the old house I got cross that after 21 years she didn't know where the kettle was; now I can be a bit more sympathetic because it's all new and she's getting old and I couldn't find the coffee this morning. Mind you I've told her twice now where the downstairs loo is and she still keeps looking in the utility for it smile

lottiegarbanzo Sun 03-Nov-13 21:15:33

Well I'd take a towel and sleeping bag if I was camping, or staying with someone in student digs with one bedroom, on their sofa.

Staying in a family home with a guest room though? Of course I'd expect there to be sheets on the bed and a towel available.

So why wouldn't I take them? Because we're not students and aren't expecting to sleep on the sofa / floor these days.

KeepingUpWithTheJonses Sun 03-Nov-13 21:17:41

I would find it incredibly rude to ask a guest to bring a towel!

I don't see the big deal. I hate laundry with a passion. I detest sorting clothes, hanging them up, ironing, putting them away in the various different drawers and cupboards where they live.

I could wash towels all day though. You bung a few in the machine, take them out and (in my case) drape them over doorways to dry. They get taken down, folded and shoved in the airing cupboard.

Not much trouble really?

theoriginalandbestrookie Sun 03-Nov-13 21:18:12

I'd give them one towel each, but no I'd find it deeply odd if someone asked me to bring a towel with me. Having said that we had visitors shortly after DS was born and I asked them to bring their own duvet as I couldn't face changing the duvet afterwards blush, I'm really embarassed about it now.

CrohnicallyTired Sun 03-Nov-13 21:18:52

Can I just ask how people are managing to dry things outside? It's november, cold and drizzly, nothing is drying over here!

I'd be annoyed too, at 4 towels between 2 people for 1 night. Although, they'd have had a job as we only own 2 'guest' towels! (We have colour coded towels so we can reuse our own)

steppemum Sun 03-Nov-13 21:19:17

If we are going for one night somewhere, especially to friends where we will all be a bit squeezed in (kids on mattresses in their kids rooms) then I often take towels, at least for the kids, and they often take pillows too.

Family often bring towels as well, especially if just one night.

VenusDeWillendorf Sun 03-Nov-13 21:22:08

The Laundrette is your friend.

Bundle up everything after guests have gone, and have a coffee when it's being washed and dried, and folded!

Come home with lovely clean and dry and folded sheets and towels!

Bowlersarm Sun 03-Nov-13 21:29:41

YABU I wouldn't expect guests to bring their own towels.

Our bathrooms, our towels. In fact I think I would feel mightily pissed off to see a guests own towel hanging in our bathroom. I would feel I'd failed as a hostess.

CremeEggThief Sun 03-Nov-13 21:32:47

If you made a poibt of asking nicely if guests could bring their own towels, as you didn't have enough spare, I wouldn't mind. I think a lot of it is in the asking.

CremeEggThief Sun 03-Nov-13 21:33:02

* point

YANBU. I don't see what is so inhospitable about asking people, who are only staying for a day or two and are driving, to bring towels. I hate washing things that don't need washing, and towels used twice don't need washing. I really wish we could get over this "it's just not cricket" mentality and just be a bit more practical. If I was staying with friends or family I'd take my own towels (unless using public transport) to save them the bother; they aren't a hotel. I would say that's being a thoughtful guest confused

BackforGood Sun 03-Nov-13 21:43:05

Well lottie, I don't treat my friends, as hotel staff - they are my friends.
Don't get me wrong, I had a friend staying over last night, and I offered her a towel - it's not a problem, but it's just helpful to the host if you don't create unnecessary work for them.
I'm surprised how many people expect to be waited on by their friends.

lottiegarbanzo Sun 03-Nov-13 22:01:38

It's not 'waiting on' it's hosting!

Just as I host them, welcome them and seek to make them comfortable in my home. I have sheets and towels. I'm more than happy to make then strip beds wash a few things, cook for them and bring it to the table.

To me, part of the joy of having guests is cooking for them, aking them comfortable and giving them an enjoyable visit.

If someone offered to bring a sleeping bag, knowing we have a bed for them, I'd think either they were still in a 'student doss on the floor' mind-set, had just come back from a year's travelling or, if that clearly wasn't the case, that they had some embarrassing sheet-staining illness they didn't want to discuss - or weren't accustomed to being a guest or hosting guests. Odd, for a grown-up, in short and rather rude, as they'd be rejecting my hospitality, or implying I wasn't up to offering any.

Inertia Sun 03-Nov-13 22:02:25

Coming from the opposite perspective, when you're the family who is expected to travel all over the country visiting everyone it's easier if you don’t have to ferry your own towels and bedding about - especially if you also have to pack travel cots, prams etc.

When people drive 4 hours to see us I'm quite happy to provide them with clean towels. Everybody gets their own large bath towel, medium sized towel ( for hair), hand towel and flannel. We've also got spare toiletries, hair dryer, straighteners and slippers plus a clean spare dressing gown. No pool though, sadly.

Mintyy Sun 03-Nov-13 22:05:21

Yes really Kate. I guess they are just thoughtful and have realised that we have a lot more washing and drying to do than they do. They only come two or three times a year and have their own car, so it's no big deal for them.

foreverondiet Sun 03-Nov-13 22:09:36

I would only ever put one towel out (and we have a tumble dryer).

But at this time of year might be better to take to laundrette. Or leave in laundry basket until sheets are done.

elQuintoConyo Sun 03-Nov-13 22:09:51

Are you talking about sanitary towels, op? In that case, yanbu. 4? In just one night? shock

I wouldn't ask my guests to bring a towel, that's something you provide as a host.

SatinSandals Sun 03-Nov-13 22:11:28

Far too bulky to ask guests to bring them.

Mia4 Sun 03-Nov-13 22:12:19

YANBU to ask OP, I wouldn't mind being asked but personally if I was hosting I would provide the towels, I'd find it poor hosting on my part not to. I hang mine on radiators or on a hanger out the window.

RoadToTuapeka Sun 03-Nov-13 22:15:10

DH and I often used to take towels to my sister's but that is because we are family, she said we shouldn't but we did as in winter they had hardly any indoor drying space and with two children their washing never ended!

I would think it odd if friends/others asked us to bring towels, unless their situation was similar to my sister!

Iaintdunnuffink Sun 03-Nov-13 22:35:56

If I stay with friends and family, and given a towel, I hang it up near the rest of our stuff. This is what our guests also do. Never been given two towels for an over night stay, never given them.

Never been given two towels for one night in a hotel. I did once call for an extra in a hotel but I'd dropped it in a bath.

I usually only stay with close fiends and family and happily ask what we need to bring. My family and friends have no problems telling us what we need to bring.

They probably didn't expect another set of towels, next time put them some where for them to use again,

magimedi Sun 03-Nov-13 22:41:00

I can't believe you would ask guests, yes guests, to bring their own towels.

I only give them one naice, large bath towel each & hand towels in the bathroom but I would never expect anyone to bring them.

I also provide beach towels if it's summe r& we go sea swimming.

It's only hospitable, surely.

Nanny0gg Sun 03-Nov-13 22:41:31

Get yourself one of these: Heated Airer

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Sun 03-Nov-13 22:47:46

When I stay at my friends they always ask that I take towels, and vice a versa when they stay here. I wasn't offended in the slightest when they first asked, but then again we class each other as family (I call them my brother and SIL we are that close). They could ask me to take pretty much anything and I wouldn't be offended, as to me I am going to see them to have a good time not add to their laundry bill.
I guess it depends on the friend though and how close you are too them.

ImperialBlether Sun 03-Nov-13 23:05:20

I go to stay with my friend and her family once a month and I take my duvet, sheet and my pillows. I hadn't thought of taking towels.. I do it because I am only in that bed for about eight hours and obviously washing everything is just a pain in the arse to her when she's working so hard. It's just doing a favour for a friend isn't it?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Sun 03-Nov-13 23:20:23

I think it's fine if you ask nicely and explain you don't have many spares.

mumeeee Sun 03-Nov-13 23:24:36

I always provide towels for guests and wouldn't expect them to bring their own.

Bettercallsaul1 Sun 03-Nov-13 23:35:18

I certainly ask guests to bring their own towels - also sleeping bags, and a tent to pitch in the garden.

Cerisier Sun 03-Nov-13 23:35:49

My PIL bring their sheets off their bed when they come to stay (they do drive over), then put them in the washing when they get home. They usually bring towels as well. My MIL says this way no one gets any extra washing- I love her for it.

ThePitOfStupid Sun 03-Nov-13 23:43:25

I'd be happy to bring towels.

raggedymum Mon 04-Nov-13 00:21:42

If someone asked me to bring towels, I'd think it was a bit odd, but I wouldn't mind. I would have a good chance of forgetting, though, as I'm horrible at packing in the first place and half the time forget something essential (despite having and checking a list!), so something like towels would be very likely to be overlooked. Then I'd feel all bad and embarrassed and probably either not shower or dry myself with yesterday's clothes or something.

Oriunda Mon 04-Nov-13 06:58:08

We have towels, slippers and dressing gowns for our guests. Towels take a lot of space up and I think by asking them to bring their own you are implying you don't want them dirtying your towels? Not very welcoming.

Crowler Mon 04-Nov-13 07:01:31

I'd probably be a bit surprised if someone asked this of me, this is the first I've heard of such an arrangement.

PicardyThird Mon 04-Nov-13 07:47:16

I wouldn't dream of expecting guests to bring their own towels - and I don't have a tumble dryer either, and our outside space is so shady and sheltered that things don't dry outside unless the air is warm.

Our cat/flat sitter (who always stays in our flat when we go away) refuses to use the towels we provide for her, for some reason. She always brings her own. It offends me a little bit tbh.

FergusSingsTheBlues Mon 04-Nov-13 07:52:57

I'd be offended if somebody couldn't be bothered to provide me with a piece of material for drying myself.....it's not exactly a lot to do for anybody. Four guests. Two towels each...it's only one load of washing?

Oh yes just pop to the launderette
Easy as that
I hate these threads. Often people don't consider that how they live is not the same as how everyone else lives.
My nearest launderette is 6 miles and I don't drive ffs

As for the towels, I only ever have people I am close to to stay. Close enough that I wouldn't feel embarrassed to ask them to bring something as a simple as a towel if need be. And I doubt they would be offended because they love me.

FergusSingsTheBlues Mon 04-Nov-13 08:23:28

I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that most people have a washing machine.

And yes, really with the hassle of packing two babies etc into a car, Id be sure to forget some trifle like towels.

And yes, it's really no big deal IF YOU HAVE A WASHING MACHINE OF COURSE. You have to do a wash for the sheets anyway.

kiriwAnyFuckerwa Mon 04-Nov-13 08:37:20

I've just calculated that if I'd washed 2 towels per guest over the half term, I'd have washed 4 towels a day every single day. My guests would rather I came out with them on outings I think, rather than saying we can't get going until the washing machine has finished.

Incidentally, I'm not talking about people with babies, or friends who have been invited - I'm talking about adult members of my family smile

whois Mon 04-Nov-13 08:39:21

It seems like such a waste of a clean towel using it for one night only. I always put out towels and bedding for guests, but I'm also happy to take towels, and bedding if going by car.

Fergus I don't think it's the washing the op has a problem with, it's the drying.

YesterdayI Mon 04-Nov-13 08:43:37

I would be offended if my friends thought if get the hump if they asked me to bring a towel.
If I was staying at friends I wouldn't want them to be unduly put out and, as friends, I would hope they would feel comfortable asking me if I could bring my own towels.

Oriunda Mon 04-Nov-13 08:47:53

Why do you need a tumble dryer? I don't have one. Line dry everything. Obviously there are rain days but I tend to wait for a dry/windy day to do laundry.

deepfriedsage Mon 04-Nov-13 08:50:23

I have always brought my own towels. I supplied towels to guests and seethed with all the extra washing. I find using others towels to dry your private area quite gross. Despite being washed at high temperatures all I think is my cousins/friends block rubbed his bollocks on my towels and I am stuck with washing drying towels on top.

Oriunda
I think that depends on an individual's situation again.
There is six of us, two with nocturnal enuresis and one still in nighttime nappies. If I didn't do at least two loads of washing a day I would be scuppered. Having said that four extra towels would just vanish into the pit of washing I have to do. But if the op says it's difficult for her to get them dry I believe them because not everyone's situations are the same.

deepfriedsage Mon 04-Nov-13 09:01:52

Bedding is light and less bulky to wash and dr , people wear PJ's so not rubbed against private areas and something I have never been worried about, its the nature of towels. I just want to gag picking up others towels, you could find skids or period on them its a health risk, bring your own towel people.

joeymacc Mon 04-Nov-13 09:03:44

I wouldn't be offended at being asked to bring towels (as long as you didn't get stroppy if I forgot ;) ). My mom asks us to bring our own towels if we stay with her for one night - her washing machine is on about twice a day already, so an extra load of towels plus sheets is a big deal. So no problem with being asked at all (but it wouldn't occur to me to bring my own if I wasn't asked to).

Beastofburden Mon 04-Nov-13 09:08:59

If I was a single person with a small amount of packing, a car and a tumble dryer at home, then maybe, if you asked me to and said you couldnt keep up with all the washing, well, OK. Though it would be the first time ever that i've been asked.

if I was a fellow mother with several kids, not enough room in the car as it is, and a million things to remember, I would be irritated. Also, if I was coming by train, because then I'd have to pack the damp used towel in my suitcase and it would make everything else a bit manky.

Would you be prepared to take towels for your whole family if you were going to stay somewhere? and bring them back, damp and used, with your other clothes?

YABU to put the work off onto someone else. It isn't magically any less trouble for them to wash and dry their towels. And it is a pain to pack damp stuff.

mitchsta Mon 04-Nov-13 09:16:08

We had people to stay over the weekend too. I put 2 towels on the bed and shoved them both in the wash with all the bedding yesterday. I don't have a tumble dryer but one extra load of washing hasn't been a huge inconvenience. I wouldn't have asked these guests to bring their own towels because they'd have had to pack the wet towels in with all their stuff before getting the train home. Have more guests staying this weekend so it'll mean even more washing, but that's part and parcel of having people to stay.

samandi Mon 04-Nov-13 09:16:30

YABU to expect house guests to bring their own towels. I've never heard of such a thing confused

YANBU to think four towels is excessive. Each guest gets one towel in this household. Unless they're staying longer than a weekend, of course.

Plus YABU to think that drying four towels plus bed linen is an incredible chore. It isn't really.

YesterdayI Mon 04-Nov-13 09:28:15

If someone was travelling by public transport or flying then, of course, it would be unreasonable to ask them to bring their own towels but if the visitors are travelling by car and are returning to their own home afterwards then it's hardly inconvenient for them

Beastofburden Mon 04-Nov-13 11:37:44

Would the OP do the same? Would she take all the towels for her own family, if she went to stay somewhere? indeed, does she already offer to do that?

It does just seem very inhospitable to me.

valiumredhead Mon 04-Nov-13 11:49:01

Yes I think you definitely should ask them to bring towels, also their own bed sheets and food, that way you won't have to do a thing.

Anyone taking offence at being asked, really ought to be asking themselves why they've accepted an invitation in the first place.

Be a gracious host by all means, but also be a gracious guest (aka a friend).

ephemeralfairy Mon 04-Nov-13 13:09:59

I take a towel with me as a matter of course but that's cause I am all weird about germs (ishoos!) but if someone asked me to I'd be a bit put out...

ephemeralfairy Mon 04-Nov-13 13:11:14

Unless they had OCD-ihs fears themselves of course, in which case I'd understand totally!

BackforGood Mon 04-Nov-13 13:16:01

I am absolutely stunned at the response on this thread.
If I were packing an overnight bag, or if my dh were or if any of my dc were, or my sister or her family or my brother or his family, then it would contain......
PJs/nightware, slippers, (maybe dressing gown - depends on other varients), clean clothes for the next day, hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, towel, deodorant, and a gift for the host. It's just part of what we would all, automatically do. dh has had to train himself to not take a towel when he's staying in a hotel for work.

Yet another "thing" I've discovered on MN, that I never knew was a "thing - being offended if your guest is trying to be helpful shock

diddl Mon 04-Nov-13 13:21:59

Did you put out 4 towels for them?

In which case they probably thought it was OK to use them all?

spookySwitched Mon 04-Nov-13 13:33:57

Isn't it normal to use two towels after a shower ? 1 for your hair and 1 for your body? I can't be the only person who always uses 2 towels (can I??)

I have to admit that I was would just put the towels on the radiator to dry and reused them (unlesss they were obviously dirty). Same with the bed sheets, they would have stayed on the bed too.

MillyONaire Mon 04-Nov-13 13:36:45

I bring my own towels - as do my parents when they come here (they even bring their own bed linen so I don't have to wash theirs after!)

diddl Mon 04-Nov-13 13:42:14

I also use 2 towels-but for one night my husband & I would use 2 between us-even if 4 were left out.

I've asked guests to do this before, and do you know what they didn't mind in the slightest. Admittedly I did have 12 people staying for the weekend, a washing machine down the end of the garden and no tumble dryer.

I love all the laundrette comments. Some people really don't have any idea. The nearest laundrette to me is miles away, and for years I had no car so couldn't have used it. Not an unusual scenario. Not everyone lives with every facility on their doorstep.

samandi Mon 04-Nov-13 13:51:27

I only use one towel. If someone put two towels out for me I'd only use one.

Oriunda Mon 04-Nov-13 14:20:42

If I shower and wash hair then I use 2 towels. Bath and no hair wash then just one towel. DH uses a towelling dressing gown with hood.

Best wedding present ever .... an enormous quantity of Calvin Klein towels. The most luxurious and fluffy and 9 years on as good as ever. I recommend them!

OTheHugeManatee Mon 04-Nov-13 16:15:07

All this talk of towels reminds me of this immortal League of Gentlemen moment grin

ImperialBlether Mon 04-Nov-13 20:23:32

BackForGood, there is an endless capacity for being offended on MN. Didn't you read about the OP who was in a temper because she was sent flowers?

BackforGood Mon 04-Nov-13 20:30:47

grin Imperial - no, I missed that one, but have picked up on the incredible number of things some professionally offended people get offended over.

mummy1973 Mon 04-Nov-13 20:41:16

yabu

mummy1973 Mon 04-Nov-13 20:45:05

I wouldn't be offended if you asked me to bring one either but if you don't want to host they may be better off in a hotel? Surely you want to make their stay as easy and enjoyable as possible so washing a few towels at the end is hardly a hardship?

SuiGeneris Mon 04-Nov-13 20:49:04

YABU. Providing for guests is part of being a host. I would feel quite unwelcome if I was asked to bring own towels and find it quite odd when people do- always wonder what is wrong with the ones I provided.

Also, what is wrong with two towels each? Surely you need at least one for the face and one for the rest?

mrscog Mon 04-Nov-13 21:04:15

So SuiGeneris you'd feel unwelcome if your oldest friend said (this is almost verbatim what I said a few years ago)

'Sui, are you still coming this weekend? We can't wait to see you all, yes it's going to be fab. Is beef casserole ok for dinner? And does Mr Sui still not like mushrooms? Ok, great no probs. Just arrive whenever you like, we'll eat late. Oh by the way, we're still unpacking would you mind bringing towels with you - I've got no idea where they all are!'

Beef casserole? Is that it? Fuck off, mrscog - I'm off to stay with my REAL friend, Martha Stewart.

That's exactly what I'd say.

Bring my own towels and after that indignity, casserole for dinner.

I ask you angry

mrscog Mon 04-Nov-13 22:20:03

There was also cheeeecake JohnnyB! :D

wink mrs

I honestly don't understand how anyone could be offended by being asked to chip in in some way when staying with friends or family.

There are some odd people about.

blue88 Thu 07-Nov-13 13:54:55

Just stumbled upon this - how about this one? I once shared my (then) friend's house as a lodger - paying a more than reasonable rent. My friend and I went back more than 20 years. Part of the deal was she provided my towels until one night when I made the big mistake of giving my boyfriend (on one of the very few nights he stayed over) a clean towel from her linen cupboard. Next day she described how she felt violated and that as I was only her lodger he was not to stay overnight again!

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