to send him home because he has a cold sore?

(47 Posts)
tygertygerburningbright Sun 03-Nov-13 18:50:33

My boyfriend woke up this morning with a suspiciously cold sore looking thing on his chin.. he is maintaining that it's not a cold sore but it sure looks like one to me! I have 3 year old ds and I don't want him to catch it. I also don't want to get it myself, so I sent him home and told him he couldn't come back until it's gone... I feel a little bit guilty because he looked all sad and rejected.. I could easily just not kiss him etc for s bit but I worry about ds because he's a toddler and all up in my boyfriend's face rtc. AIBU to banish him!?

Madlizzy Sun 03-Nov-13 18:52:29

I think you were a little unreasonable here! As long as your boyfriend isn't kissing you or your boy, then the chances of either of you catching it are pretty non existent.

littlewhitebag Sun 03-Nov-13 18:52:53

Seems a bit much to me. He doesn't have the plague! I am sure he could restrain himself from giving out kisses for a few days. What to you think people who cohabitate do in situations like this?

drawsofdrawers Sun 03-Nov-13 18:53:02

It's only a cold sore... Fine not to kiss him or want DC to touch it or kiss him but to send him home....?!

MammaTJ Sun 03-Nov-13 18:53:21

Well, I suggest you end the relationship as it could never be allowed to progress to him living with you. After all, where would you send him then when he gets one?

Is he such an Adonis you can't resist kissing him?

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 18:53:30


DH gets coldsores and is careful not to kiss me or DD when he has one. I obviously don't have the option to send him away, but it doesn't seem to be necessary for us anyway.

phantomnamechanger Sun 03-Nov-13 18:54:14

on his CHIN? Not a coldsore expert, but might it be impetigo? He would only have to nick himself shaving for that to flare up, DH is always getting it! (and I recommend tea tree oil if it is that)

either way, I don't think YABU

notanyanymore Sun 03-Nov-13 18:54:39

I didn't think you got cold sores on your chin??

littlewhitebag Sun 03-Nov-13 18:55:39

It's probably a massive zit!

Rosencrantz Sun 03-Nov-13 18:56:22


FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 18:56:46

It rare but can be on the chin.

gamerchick Sun 03-Nov-13 18:58:37

You can get them all over your face if you're unfortunate enough for your Face to come into contact with genital herpes.

I wouldn't have sent him home.. A bit of common sense is needed. No kissing.. oral and sharing of flannels/facecloth etc.

x2boys Sun 03-Nov-13 18:59:00

You can only get coldsores before adolescence or unless your immune system is suppressed for any reason [this is if you don't already have the virus] this is hat I was told during my nurse training anyway

tygertygerburningbright Sun 03-Nov-13 18:59:28

Haha I am a little oversensitive about cold sores... my best friend in school had them (definitely can get them on your chin etc anywhere around but not specifically on mouth) but she had the kind that is like an std or something. Herpes? Mouth herpes.. not sure if it's the same as a cold sore but I was horrified and vowed never to catch it. It's probably me being afraid! I thought they were crazy mega contagious or something?

GeeTeeEff Sun 03-Nov-13 18:59:38


If my partner sent me home for that reason I wouldn't be going back. I get cold sores I have 3 dc, they have never caught one from me.

x2boys Sun 03-Nov-13 18:59:53

this what not hat

MadgeBishop Sun 03-Nov-13 19:00:42

Really? shock. Yabu.

gemmal88 Sun 03-Nov-13 19:02:29

I'm sure you could keep your son away from your boyfriend's mouth and I'm sure you could abstain from kissing him until it was gone.

Poor guy.


Floggingmolly Sun 03-Nov-13 19:03:04

He was probably infectious before the sore broke out...

Rummikub Sun 03-Nov-13 19:03:09

I had never had a cold sore, until I moved in with my then boyfriend, now I get them, grrr.

AChristmassyJerseySpud Sun 03-Nov-13 19:03:26

Wow. Does that mean i get to leave home and not come back whenever i get a cold sore?

Pretty Please?

drawsofdrawers Sun 03-Nov-13 19:03:41

You should apologise.

tygertygerburningbright Sun 03-Nov-13 19:05:29

Rummikub back me up! Lol its not worth the risk!

We don't even live together so it's not like I kicked him out of his own house...

IsItMeOr Sun 03-Nov-13 19:13:32

All coldsores are caused by a form of the Herpes virus. It sounds bad, but it might help to bear in mind that chicken pox is also caused by another form of the Herpes virus.

IsItMeOr Sun 03-Nov-13 19:14:34

See here

ArabellaBeaumaris Sun 03-Nov-13 19:18:49

Good grief. YABU. I heard an awful case of a woman who lost her baby because she was exposed to her first cold sore during labour & so have no desire to protect my DDs from being exposed to the virus. Both DP & I get cold sores & they clear up with 2 days of blistex or similar.

IamInvisible Sun 03-Nov-13 19:19:11

My mum gets cold sores, she never moved out when she got them. No one else in the family ever caught one, or became sufferers.


Sausagewaffle Sun 03-Nov-13 19:19:28

I definitely think you are being unreasonable.
I understand where you are coming from if you have an issue with things like that..
But, if I was sent home for that reason, I also wouldn't be going back.

honeybunny14 Sun 03-Nov-13 19:20:00

Yabvvvvu poor guy

MostWicked Sun 03-Nov-13 19:22:14

Poor bloke!
Totally OTT

singarainbow Sun 03-Nov-13 19:24:10

I think you may have over reacted - could he just cover it with a plaster? My 4yo dd gets them on her thumb (long story) when she is unfortunate enough to get an outbreak we cover hem with a bandage and send her off to preschool.

itsametaphordaddy Sun 03-Nov-13 19:24:26

Ffs its only a coldsore. He's not a bloody leper. How would you feel if he sent you home because of a simple thing like a cold sore. Fgs people have gone nuts when it comes to coldsores. I had hundreds as a child.

misspontypine Sun 03-Nov-13 19:28:11


Will you keep your ds at home if any of his classmates every have a coldsore at school?

steff13 Sun 03-Nov-13 19:30:39

I got a cold sore out of the blue just a year or so ago. I talked to my doctor, and she gave me a pamphlet that is put out by the CDC. According to said pamphlet, 6 out of 10 adults carry the virus for cold sores, but only 20%-40% ever have symptoms. Also, you can pass it without having an active sore or ever having any sore at all. So, if your BF has it and has been kissing on your son, he could have already passed it to him. Further, it's possible you have it and could have passed it to him yourself.

In light of that, I think you are being a bit unreasonable. It would not be unreasonable, IMO, to ask him to refrain from kissing your son until the sore clears, just in case, but there's a fair chance he's already been exposed.

Rummikub Sun 03-Nov-13 19:32:06

grin tyger

I haven't had chicken pox either. So completely herpes virus free, till that boyfriend. I used to be careful too about kissing, but isn't the cold sore most contagious before it appears?

Now I get big cold sores when I'm rundown and I'm not with the bugger anymore!

tygertygerburningbright Sun 03-Nov-13 19:32:45

Ok... its possible I over reacted...

killpeppa Sun 03-Nov-13 19:33:15

god help him!

how long does he get banished for when he has the cold?

theywillgrowup Sun 03-Nov-13 19:35:43

i get them a fair bit and do feel like a leper,so i bet your DP feels bad

i got so fed up of getting them and they were monsters my doctor perscribes an ant-viral tablet on the fist sign of the tingle,they have made a big difference

they are contagious when they are weeping,then they crust over

bellablot Sun 03-Nov-13 19:37:45

Erm yes YABU, if you had a 3 week old baby then send him home for sure but 3 years old, he should be gone and you might already have the virus. Also when did cold sores grow on chins? Could it be something else?

tygertygerburningbright Sun 03-Nov-13 19:39:55

He's just text me and said he thinks it's impetigo. Which I just googled, and now I stand by my decision as apparently it's 'highly contagious'

harticus Sun 03-Nov-13 19:48:47

When I was little I couldn't tell the difference between coleslaw and cold sore.

magimedi Sun 03-Nov-13 19:53:57
ZombieMojaveWonderer Sun 03-Nov-13 19:54:22

Don't sound too smug op. Sounds like you were trying to get rid if him all along wink

kali110 Sun 03-Nov-13 19:55:33

I had impetigo for four bloody months, it would not go, but nobody got it from hAd it two months before it was diagnosed as impetigo.

AdoraBell Sun 03-Nov-13 19:59:51

Unfortunatley it's not only kissing that spreads cold sores. If the OP's BF touches the cold sore then touches either another person or something that someone else will touch, maybe a door handle, then virus can be transmitted. Then if another person touches their own face they transfer the virus there.


I Think you over reacted although I fully understand your concern. Maybe BF doesn't realise How contagio the virus is, or that it doesn't always manifest on the lips. Mine are frquently mid chin rather than on my líp.

Perhaps a little edcuation would help?

tygertygerburningbright Sun 03-Nov-13 20:00:34

Yes zombie you got me, I secretly hate my boyfriend and needed an excuse to get rid of him! Thank god for infectious sores hey!

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