Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

What would you do if your DP was a zombie

(138 Posts)
FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 12:52:41

Would you attempt to kill them.

If zombies turn humans into zombies would your rather be a zombie like your DP

I'd shoot him in the head! In fact right now, I think that sounds like a good idea, zombie or no zombie! wink

Summerblaze Sun 03-Nov-13 12:55:06

No to being a zombie myself. Yep, he would be deader than a dead thing.

Bowlersarm Sun 03-Nov-13 12:55:16

I don't know much about zombies so I don't know what I'd do. What should I do?

My face would be -> shock though

Shoot him without a second thought. No keeping him in a barn or anything daftwink

MyNameIsWinkly Sun 03-Nov-13 12:56:51

We've discussed this at some length. Yes, really. Anyway we have a mutual agreement to bash each other's heads in asap if we get zombie-fied.

loopylouu Sun 03-Nov-13 13:02:04

Hit him with the shovel

<i may want to do that to day anyway>

I'd join him and be a zombie too.

EatingAllTheCrumpets Sun 03-Nov-13 13:05:19

Beat him in the head with a crowbar. Sentimentality gets you eaten, fact!

CloudBursting Sun 03-Nov-13 13:05:46

Don't have a barn, but do have a shed to keep DH in. I would then wait for Daryl Dixon to turn up (optimistic!).

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sun 03-Nov-13 13:06:27

The only thing I could do; remove his head or destroy his brain.

I'm not hugely sentimental.

MarianneEnjolras Sun 03-Nov-13 13:06:32

Probably chain him up in the shed like in Shaun of the Dead. I imagine he'd still be useful for stuff like cutting the grass or scaring off unwanted visitors/chuggers.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 13:07:21

I would kill him, he knows where my zombie apocalypse kit is kept.

Shoot him in the head for sure.
Do you think I could say I thought he was a zombie and shoot him anyway? Would that fly as a defence?

riskit4abiskit Sun 03-Nov-13 13:15:22

I probably wouldn't notice...

I feel sad that you would all kill your DHs. What about your wedding vows? I don't recall there being a zombie get out clause.

fragola Sun 03-Nov-13 13:18:32

Shoot him. If I didn't have a gun though I'd stick him in the shed. He'd probably be happy there.

Lastofthepodpeople Sun 03-Nov-13 13:20:10

I think being dead is the get out clause for marriage.

Besides if DH then bit me and I turned into a zombie, we'd probably both want to eat DS which wouldn't be a good outcome for any of us.

FWIW, I'd expect DH to kill me if I became a zombie.

Famzilla Sun 03-Nov-13 13:21:48

Before DD was born I probably would have wanted to be a zombie too have locked him in the shed Shaun of the dead style. He could have still done all his carpentry stuff and I'd have someone to talk to after a long day of counselling those affected by the whole zombie crisis thing.

Now I have DD to think about he wouldn't stand a chance. His brain would be destroyed quicker than he could say "muhhhh".

<soppy mother emoticon>

Famzilla Sun 03-Nov-13 13:22:24

Or have locked him in the shed, obviously.

CarpeVinum Sun 03-Nov-13 13:23:26

I'd stab him in the head.

Don't fancy Morgan's Great Regret as the consequences for any other course of action.

catgirl1976fucker Sun 03-Nov-13 13:30:58

We have a Claymore in the cupboard for such eventualities.

DH would be getting it through the head if he went Zombie. And vice versa.

We've talked all this through

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 13:34:54

Couldn't keep him in the shed, how would I get stuff out of there.

What would you feed a zombie.

Quoteunquote Sun 03-Nov-13 13:36:36

Chain him to the driveway, he may as well be useful for something, good burglar deterrent.

GlitteryShitandDanglyBaubles Sun 03-Nov-13 13:38:33

We have a crossbow for just this situation. Next year we are going to be getting a small crossbow each for me and dd, and taking archery classes together.

blush

Catsmamma Sun 03-Nov-13 13:41:04

dd says we could chop off his arms and use him for pulling things, no such sentimentality for me...I would hit him in the head with the breadboard. or the fire irons.

BlueJess Sun 03-Nov-13 13:43:04

I'm not sure I have sufficient information to judge... If there any way to be de-zombiefied?

BlueJess Sun 03-Nov-13 13:44:10

All those that would head for the firearms - what if you had Zombie DC?

catgirl1976fucker Sun 03-Nov-13 13:45:51

I would keep zombie DS in the shed

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 13:46:18

I think I would be a zombie if DC was.

Catsmamma Sun 03-Nov-13 13:46:19

of course you cannot be de zombified!

and bash them all with the breadboard. ALL OF THEM!!

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 13:46:47

Yes, then grieve.

If exH, though, I'd shoot, cut head and burn.

DS, on the other hand...

Badvoc Sun 03-Nov-13 13:48:32

Destroy him.

BlueJess Sun 03-Nov-13 13:48:37

Hmm. I think DH and I will have to discuss and establish a policy.

Don't think I could bash the DC though even if I had a breadboard

elfycat Sun 03-Nov-13 13:51:21

If DH was a zombie? I don't think I'd notice to be honest.

<looks over at other sofa to sprawled figure blankly watching TV>

BelaLugosisShed Sun 03-Nov-13 14:01:11

I'd keep his head in a bag and feed it on rats <shrug>

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 14:04:16

Yes, I would shoot dh happily especially today

It would be harder if it was the kids. But I think I could shoot child 1 or 2 to save child 3 (in any combination). But the last child - no, I would just succumb to zombieness myself.

MoldieOldNaiceHam Sun 03-Nov-13 14:08:11

If the dc were zombies too then it would be best if they had two zombie parents. I don't want people gossiping about us at school.

Oh look, it's Moldie and her zombie kids hmm

Fuck it. My name is Moldie. Of course I'd be a zombie!

DavidHarewoodsFloozy Sun 03-Nov-13 14:09:36

I,d defo keep him (after sedation and removal of zombie teeth). I need him for carrying Christmas shopping around town.

Ok, so he,d be slow, but you can only shuffle through the crowds anyway. No banal chatter, no stopping at every apple/game store, no stopping to watch T.V.

Yes I'm keeping mine. Don,t know where I'd stand if the apocalypse happens at Easter.

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 14:11:40

You may be right, David. Although maybe use Hannibal Lecter's mask? And a lead, just in case he'd wander off. grin

LtEveDallas Sun 03-Nov-13 14:11:53

Zombie DH would be headless quicker than you can say steaknife, although I would miss the ironing.

Zombie DD - well I'd kill her and then myself. No point going on without her.

DulcetMoans Sun 03-Nov-13 14:13:30

Ah, this one is easy - in fact its written into our wedding vows - he gets it in the head with whatever will do the job. Same if I turn first.

I will treasure the memories...!

MisterBadExample Sun 03-Nov-13 14:15:17

Zombies are dead. Debraining them is really just the first stage in laying the corpse out for burial. HOnestly a bit creeped out at all the folks saying they'd keep their loved ones' corpses about unburied/uncremated. Not on.

So, yeah, nearest and dearest are dead, I get started on undertaking the necessary arrangements. DCs first, in my case, the DSs inherited the farmboy build with modern nutrition. They'd be big, strong, dangerous zombies.

cardibach Sun 03-Nov-13 14:17:17

I don't have a DP, but I can't help musing - what would it be like to be a zombie? All your decisions seem to be based on it being a bad thing, but what if it isn't? WHat if it is fairly peaceful, what with the shuffling and lack of crap conversation, need to work, pay mortgage etc?
I think this needs considering.

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 14:20:56

nothing as I'd already be a zombie

DavidHarewoodsFloozy Sun 03-Nov-13 14:21:06

You evil genius Lweji!
Can,t believe how many of you get rid, what happened to in sickness and in health?
The moaning can,t be worse than man-flu can it?
<ponders and perhaps re-thinks>.

ninah Sun 03-Nov-13 14:23:53

dress him up as me and send him into work

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 14:24:12

DH has said he will kill us all

He'd fit right into the crowds in Birmingham on a Saturday afternoon tbh. Nobody would notice.

I'd take his teeth out and make him a nice lead, and he could sleep in the downstairs loo (it has a lock which can be locked from the outside). I reckon he could still work the washing machine and run the hoover round every now and then.

ilikemysleep Sun 03-Nov-13 14:26:51

Depends if the kids had been zombified or not. If they had, I'd let him zombify me. If not, I'd fight him to the death smile

Littleredsquirrel Sun 03-Nov-13 14:27:32

Did anyone see that BBC drama though where the zombies all came back to life? What if that happened?

On balance I would still smash his head in. Daryl has trained me well.

bearleftmonkeyright Sun 03-Nov-13 14:33:26

Chop his head off with a broadsword borrowed from Michone

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 14:36:00

I can already imagine some of you as the Von Zombies. Your nice neighbourhood zombie family. Roaming the streets and feeding on the neighbours.

extremepie Sun 03-Nov-13 14:49:58

Bear Michonne has a samurai sword, broadswords are heavy & slow has thought about this too much :/

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 15:26:46

Can you imagine the threads.

DZ bite another child in preschool aibu to think the child just look tasty.

Mia4 Sun 03-Nov-13 15:30:45

Zombie as in dead, rotting and decomposing or the other type of 'zombie' that isn't really a zombie because it's still alive but its infected, infective and trying to murder you?

The live one, I'd tie up and hope for a cure if possible, if not possible and we have to run then I'd ask someone (hopefully with a gun) to either shoot him or let me.

Zombie DP, I'm bashing his head in. He's not my DP any more, he's a predator that's hot for my bod in a very horrific way. DP and I have had this conversation, if someone is a zombie then Id kill them to put them out their misery and save myself and/or others.

Bitten people, I'd wait until they turned in case some were immune.

AaDB Sun 03-Nov-13 15:32:39

If DH was bitten, I wouldn't let him into the house/chuck him out. Zombies freak me out ATM. After watching a World War Z and Walking Dead marathon, I washed the bath so I could fill it with water to drink. My tins and wine stores would last a few weeks.

Can't think about ds.

whattodoo Sun 03-Nov-13 15:34:18

WWMD? What would Mischone do?

I'd chop his arms and tongue off. Break his teeth and jaw. Chain him up and keep him as a deterrent.

And I'd start sharpening my kitchen knives and fashioning something destructive out of DD's water pistols.

Changebagsandgladrags Sun 03-Nov-13 15:37:08

I would shoot him. Then cut up the body. Then burn the pieces. Then crush up the ashes, then bury them.

MrsBennetsEldest Sun 03-Nov-13 15:37:27

TBH I probably wouldn't notice, if on the off chance I paid any attention and he was indeed a zombie I would remove his head from his body with whatever implement was close at hand.

MisterBadExample Sun 03-Nov-13 15:40:06

extremepie, Michonne's Katana is a fine weapon, but is actually somewhat heavier and slower than a traditional broadsword.

The Japanese had rubbish steel and so had to laminate differing grades of metal together to get a weapon that was sharp and strong. The result was a hefty single-edged cutting weapon that needed two hands to work effectively as the balance point was a long way along the blade. The various broadsword types were made of better steel so they could lighten the blade by making it with fullers (the grooves that some people think are 'blood channels'). The balance would usually be just in front of the wielders hand and it was good for thrust (excellent for zombie defence - even if you miss the eye-socket or nasal cavity, you've still punched the zombie on its arse from three feet away) and cutting on either direction of swing, disabling zombies with soft-tissue damage for easier disposal.

A Katana is better for instant kills, though, as that forward balance point lets you put a lot of power into the swing for a good beheading stroke against a slow-shuffling ghoul.

Yeah, I've thought about this a lot, too. (I'd be going for paired handaxes. Easy to find, low-maintenance, good cutting and bludgeoning and light and fast enough to use one for fending off while you deliver a skull-crushing stroke with the other. Also helpful as tools. A couple of those multipurpose chinese army folding shovels and my apocalypse survival toolkit is complete.)

raffle Sun 03-Nov-13 15:40:13

Stove his head in with a shovel, no question about it.

DiscoBiscuits Sun 03-Nov-13 15:41:18

He would be a very dead undead thing, very quickly.

HanShotFirst Sun 03-Nov-13 15:41:47

After today, I would end him if he was a zombie - no question.

My children....I can't even begin to imagine. It makes me feel really sad

AChristmassyJerseySpud Sun 03-Nov-13 15:42:17

Shoot him.

Mia4 Sun 03-Nov-13 15:51:52

Urgh to keeping him around if he was dead and rotting, it might scare off people but it would encourage disease quicker then anything!

I'd rather be dead dead then zombified- zombified means rotting away, hurting other people.

Every dead zombie is one less to bite someone: DP,DC, DM, DF or yourself.

MisterBadExample Sun 03-Nov-13 16:00:45

Mia4: Yep. And if you're bitten and going to turn, you get amongst 'em and take as many down as you can before you turn. No more need to be careful, just make sure there are fewer zombies as a result of you turning.

Yes, thought about this waaaaaay too much.

Mia4 Sun 03-Nov-13 16:12:49

MisterBadExample, now I know who to say hi to if I see someone doing the same as me smile

Don't worry I have too, I ranted about the classic reactions to a zombie outbreak with people running to public places to my DP one wine filled night and told them about my survival plan.

I often lie awake at night wondering if I have enough tins in the house to last if there was an outbreak of zombies.
Late night bfing takes me past a window which looks out onto the street and I always look just to see if there any wandering about.

I'd rather glen or rick saved me, not into daryl!

Littleredsquirrel Sun 03-Nov-13 16:32:05

I have enough in the house for a three month zombie outbreak.

This is assuming they're the slow walking dead type zombies not the super jumping, door bashing down World War Z type zombies.

Mia4 Sun 03-Nov-13 16:32:19

GirlWithTheYellowHat If you have enough to last a few days/week to survive the iniial panic then you can go out when things are calmer as in less people. They'll be zombies but hopefully less people to compete for food with and the zombies may have fanned out a bit. If you can band together with other neighbours and have some of you defending your homes and others going out that's even better.

Mia4 Sun 03-Nov-13 16:32:34

I've thought about this too much...

reelingintheyears Sun 03-Nov-13 16:33:09

I'd LTB.

Crocodilehunter Sun 03-Nov-13 16:57:50

I'd twat him in the head with something. shoe, golf club, whatever came to hand!
It wouldnt really be him anyway oh well wink

MrsWinklepicker Sun 03-Nov-13 17:04:46

Hmmmmm will have to check whether the life insurance is still valid if I've twatted him in the head with a spade....

AmberLeaf Sun 03-Nov-13 17:19:03

I have discussed this in way too much detail with my teenage son.

He has no qualms about putting a bullet through my head in the event of me 'turning'

We have a Zombie plan, but tbh I think in reality I'd be too scared and there just aren't enough bullets in the world [or within my reach] to survive a Zombie outbreak, especially as I live in a massively populated major city.

AmberLeaf Sun 03-Nov-13 17:20:14

Would also depend on the nature of the Zombieism.

Slow walkers...maybe.

Rabid fast runners a la 28 days later...hell no.

Littleredsquirrel Sun 03-Nov-13 17:21:43

No way will the life assurance pay out if you've caved his head in.

Steer him in the direction of a neighbour with a golf club.

Grennie Sun 03-Nov-13 17:24:59

I wonder if a zoo would want to buy a zombie? Obviously it is different if it is only my DP who is a zombie, or if there is a general zombie invasion.

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 17:25:58

But he would already be dead.
Does life assurance pays if our OH is attacked by a zombie? What would the definition of death be? Surely they don't have detectable brain waves...

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 17:26:44

If there is a zombie invasion, you'd probably be better off as the exhibit at the zoo, safely behind bars in a cage.

DifferenceEngine Sun 03-Nov-13 17:26:55

Dh zombied alone would be shot or beheaded pronto so i could defend dcs.

If dcs were zombies, I'd have to let em bite me.

misterBad what about the British 1908 pattern cavary sword, that's the gold standard of pointy cutty things IMHO. Though I am more of a class 1 firearms person when it comes to Zombie apocalypse armaments. Im a Bit too short for hand to hand stuff irl.

Where would the kill shot be on a zombie? Does the brain still control it, so destroying C1 vertebrae? Or would you need a dumdum in the head to obliterate the brain [overthinking]

Grennie Sun 03-Nov-13 17:26:58

I am sure zombies would be excluded under Acts of God

Maryz Sun 03-Nov-13 17:27:50

I dunno, Lweji.

You are assuming zombies are already dead, which is very zombieist of you grin. I'm sure there are some very nice zombies out there.

Littleredsquirrel Sun 03-Nov-13 17:29:16

Good point Lweji. As long as you could tell from the body that he was clearly a zombie at the point of head being smashed in then all would probably be well re the insurance.

Clean swipe off with the head or sword through the head a la Michone is probably the best bet then.

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 17:30:42

There is already a tv series about some of you. Zombie Family

There goes my chance of pitching it. angry

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 17:33:13

In any case, it might be better to make the insurance payable to the children, in case there are any doubts and you do have to kill your OH.
Surely murder is ok, just as long as the murderer is not the beneficiary.

As long as they were not living dead too. But even so, you'd only have to take them to the bank (mask and leash) and sign up for them.

Cookethenook Sun 03-Nov-13 18:04:28

Bash his head in.

We have had this conversation and both of us agreed killing the infected one of us would be for the greater good.

But then, we have go-bags and a plan for this kind of thing, so it's possible we may be a little odd.

ZombieMojaveWonderer Sun 03-Nov-13 18:06:26

I would smash his brains in! I may just do that now and say that 'I thought he had turned in to a zombie' when the police turned up to arrest me ;)

I'd probably be killed by him while shouting DH HAVE YOU SEEN THE OH FUCK RUCKSACK ANYWHERE?

SilverApples Sun 03-Nov-13 18:09:18

Decapitate him with a machete.
Yes, I have an OH, a machete and can fence with a sabre.
Sorted.

Grennie Sun 03-Nov-13 18:10:58

Maybe I should contact the insurance company and see if my policy includes zombie attacks?

Littleredzombiesquirrel errrr what documentary?
Worried about the number of people who have had serious conversations about this - is there something I should know?

complexnumber Sun 03-Nov-13 18:13:54

Isn't being locked in the shed male Zombie heaven?

ShatnersBassoon Sun 03-Nov-13 18:17:25

Official guidelines state you need to remove the head or destroy the brain. I'd stand a better chance of destroying his brain, so I'd go for that. Probably use the crowbar or garden fork through the eye.

Can you imagine setting up the life insurance
"Details of pre-existing conditions:
Death, decomposition, rabid killer instincts, taste for human flesh. Type II diabetes. Mild glaucoma."

WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAT official guidelines?
Someone put me out of my misery here!
Back in 5 mins - off to lock the door

ipswichwitch Sun 03-Nov-13 18:22:24

I would say I probably wouldn't notice but for the fact he'd be considerably less feckin moany. A bit of "mmmmmreegehhghh" would be like music to my ears compared to the bloody whinge-fest he's had today

DulcetMoans Sun 03-Nov-13 18:42:02

shatnersbassoon is my new favourite MNetter name. Plus, accurate quoting of Shaun of the Dead. You made me happy!

gordyslovesheep Sun 03-Nov-13 18:45:57

am I the only one who'd be a zombie - much more fun than the constant, exhausting, endless running and hiding and fighting grin

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 18:47:20

m.ebay.com/itm/360544241120

You all need to get one of these.

I like your thinking Gordy

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Sun 03-Nov-13 18:51:09

I'd do a Michonne and turn him into a guard zombie. I've told him this, he was quite upset.

LEMisafucker Sun 03-Nov-13 18:59:38

I got a job based on my zombie apocalypse plan <true fact> however it was the worse job I ever had.

As for DP, id kill him then kill myself

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 20:26:19

LEM that sounds interesting, was it for a movie or a show.

VerySmallSqueak Sun 03-Nov-13 20:32:30

I would sell him to the nearest giant pharmaceutical company as their chance to develop a cure,and make a 'killing'.

Let him eat me and then shoot him

A girl's got needs.

totally not lowering the tone

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 20:36:33

I believe the WHO have a zombie apocalypse plan.

In any case, if you plead zombie how do the prosecution prove he was not a zombie? Are there zombie diagnostic tests to be applied if the corpse is no longer walking, biting and moaning?

Grennie Sun 03-Nov-13 20:40:02

Yes if you kill your DP, beat the body and face a bit and then leave it to rot a bit, surely the body will just look like a zombie?

In which case insurance companies will never pay out for a zombie death.

Pedallleur Sun 03-Nov-13 20:40:02

Decapitation doesn't work, the head still 'lives'. It has to be a penetration into the brain via a bullet, spike,knife, whatever. And yes, my dp has to go. What about the last helicopter is taking off and you are running to get it. The zombies are behind you and a member of your family falls down. Do you keep running as the zombies now can feast or do you go back and make a last stand?

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 03-Nov-13 20:41:29

I would kill him.

Well, kill him again. As he would be a reanimated corpse.

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 20:43:23

Oh, sorry, it was the CDC. Can't do the link ATM.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 20:46:26

Depends on what family member.

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 20:47:28

But, Squeak, you know how pharmaceuticals are. We'd probably end up in a true zombie apocalypse caused by them.
Or he'd en up in a lost spaceship somewhere to be discovered centuries from now by some cargo ship...

Which reminds me: zombie vs alien. What so you reckon would happen?

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 20:48:12
VerySmallSqueak Sun 03-Nov-13 20:50:58

But I would have the money....

<evil cackle>

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 20:51:17

If it was my GM we'd probably throw her anyway blush to gain some time. She's a complete twat and abusive too. Even the zombies might avoid her.
She's surprisingly strong at almost 103 and might be able to beat up a few (as when she slapped some of the poor women who have been helping take care of her sad ).

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 20:53:03

Thank you Fourty. smile

MrsMaryCooper Sun 03-Nov-13 21:50:29

Kill him. He would kill me.

If it was DC we would keep in the shed and feed him other people and cats.

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 22:23:51

I'm buying my niece this Barbie, so that she can prepare, just in case.

Shodan Sun 03-Nov-13 23:05:10

Dh's noisy eating annoys me enough as it is. There's no way I could tolerate the noise he'd make eating human flesh.

I would break my own rule and use my best Sabatier carving knife to stab him in the head. And then enjoy the peace and quiet (until the other zombies come).

If it was the DC, I'd stab them too, because it would mean they'd disobeyed a direct instruction from me - 'Do not, under ANY circumstances, allow yourselves to be zombified'- and therefore would need to be Taught A Lesson.

Greenfircone Sun 03-Nov-13 23:11:29

If he's a zombie would the insurance pay out and sort our mortgage? Must check on that, otherwise he'd have to stay in the garage. He'd be happy there and probably prefer it to being in the house dealing with the kids and might make us some money making fence panels or something.

aquashiv Sun 03-Nov-13 23:19:34

Do they move quite fast at times? If so it would be an improvement, though I would keep my distance and would not seek to join him. I don't like what happens to their hair.

2kidsintow Sun 03-Nov-13 23:22:14

My Dh has one leg. I'd steal his prosthetic one, so he wouldn't be a very mobile zombie. smile

middleclassdystopia Mon 04-Nov-13 07:37:26

I'd always hope for a cure, so would probably let dh and dc bite.

DavidHarewoodsFloozy Mon 04-Nov-13 15:37:58

I,m quite concerned about insurance also.

Would i get his pension? How would that work?

We really need clarity on the financial side.

DawnOfTheDee Mon 04-Nov-13 15:47:09

I think the pension/insurance thing depends on what type of zombie apocalypse you are experiencing.

A - the dead have risen as there is no more room in hell George A Romero-traditional style zompoc

or

B - a pandemic where humans are infected with a virus e.g. the 'Rage' virus in 28 Days Later.

If you are in Zompoc A then yes an insurance policy would pay out. If you are in Zompoc B then no it wouldn't. In scenario B you wouldn't be able to kill him either as that would render the policy void too. You could just send him on his way and hope someone else kills him.....then we would pay out.

ToriaPumpkin Mon 04-Nov-13 15:54:25

I would kill him then make a nice cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over. We've got a garage full of nice heavy blunt instruments, climbing and ice axes, ski poles and wood axes and a claymore in the attic so I reckon I'd stand a good chance. I also have a neighbour who works for the firearms branch of the police so provided he'd survived the first wave I'd head round to his house with DS, the camping stove and all the tinned food.

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs Mon 04-Nov-13 18:47:27

We've talked about this too (in a scary amount of detail). We both agree that if one of us gets turned, the other has to end them. We honestly thought about adding it to our vows!

FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 04-Nov-13 18:58:00

I am thinking about setting up a zombie protection plan.

For a quote go to www.fortyzombieprotection.com

FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 04-Nov-13 18:58:48
headlesslambrini Mon 04-Nov-13 19:03:28

I haven't had a conversation about this with DH. I'm really worried now, has anyone got any tips on how to broach the subject?

needaholidaynow Mon 04-Nov-13 19:05:14

He was the other day and I just laughed at him grin

OrmirianResurgam Mon 04-Nov-13 19:06:12

Smash the fucker's skull!!!

<wonders if anyone noticed the teeny residue of irritation towards DH>

grin

Of course I'd kill him. He wouldn't be my DH, he'd be a mindless drooling groaning monster... much like he is every Sat afternoon whilst watching the football.

FoofGoesPoof Mon 04-Nov-13 19:07:49

Agreed OrmirianR

FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 04-Nov-13 22:03:33

I have just worked out a new zombie plan and not going to tell DH.

If DH knows it he will know my weakness.

Aibu to keep this top secret.

OodaresingingoftheDoctorDonna Fri 08-Nov-13 18:22:00

Dh says he will hit me in the head , I'm putting him on a lead a la 'walking dead' packhorse.

We're debating how we tell if the slow moving teen is a zombie.

ipswichwitch Sat 09-Nov-13 12:00:47

I'd have to stove his head in and run off with Darryl Dixon (sorry DH!!)

It's him or the DCs, no contest really.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now