To wish people would stop bragging about how well off they are?

(59 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Wed 30-Oct-13 18:03:52

It keeps happening...often by stealth. The worst culprits are those women who boast about their partner's promotion. ..well that's lovely dear but what about YOUR achievements?
Am I bitter and jealous? Yes as I sm struggling but next time anyone boasts about money im going to have a hissy fit. I might just say 'well im luvung off the tax payer and my unheritance' which is kind of true. Not proud of dying to get a better paid job myself.

superstarheartbreaker Wed 30-Oct-13 18:04:33

Living....inheritance. sorry typos.

EmeraldJeanie Wed 30-Oct-13 18:05:53

Err well no boasting stealth or otherwise from me.
Nowt to boast about unfortunately....

vtechjazz Wed 30-Oct-13 18:09:21

I'd comment, but the butler is ringing the dinner gong.

CoffeeTea103 Wed 30-Oct-13 18:09:28

Where do you encounter these women op?

MrsDoomsPatterson Wed 30-Oct-13 18:09:35

MN may ot be the place for you then, superstar! Some people make it their life's work. Always the same people too.

Lilacroses Wed 30-Oct-13 18:10:10

I don't have any friends like this but my DB told me at the weekend about his awfully crass boss who kept sighing and moaning to himself during a meeting last week. When my DB asked him what was wrong he moaned "Oh, I'm in such a state.....I just don't know what to do with this spare 20 million, if I give it to the kids they'll be even more spoilt"!!!!!

superstarheartbreaker Wed 30-Oct-13 18:10:54

Vtec jazz...brilliant!

givemeaclue Wed 30-Oct-13 18:11:08

If this about the husbands job interview thread, he has an interview is all, not a promotion yet

marriedinwhiteisback Wed 30-Oct-13 18:11:39

Well it can be just as tiresome to hear how skint people are in a whine sort of way. A public forum has people from all walks of life and some posts or comments are simply statements of fact. It would be very boring if everyone was the same.

I'm having dinner with my best friend tonight. Her DH has just been promoted, she's just got a new car and her dd went up to Cambridge last month whilst my ds decided to defer uni for a year. I'm really pleaased for her and share her pride in her nearest and dearest. I'd be ashamed if I didn't. Envy is one of the deadly sins.

Tulip26 Wed 30-Oct-13 18:11:43

I was at a Halloween party last Saturday, listening to people brag about how much money they make. I struggle sometimes and they have brand-new cars and big f-off TVs. ARGH!

WhoNickedMyName Wed 30-Oct-13 18:11:49

Maybe you need to surround yourself with some different people.

superstarheartbreaker Wed 30-Oct-13 18:12:24

Mind you...I did have a stealth biast about my inheritance! ;-) not much of it though...wanted to put it towards a deposit on a house but was not enough.

superstarheartbreaker Wed 30-Oct-13 18:13:15

No not about threads on here...about real life people sadly.

Why is it so dreadful to post happy stuff for a change?
If I read a post about someone being excited about a promotion, I'd think that's nice, not how very dare she.

hoppinghare Wed 30-Oct-13 18:14:47

I don't see what is wrong with being pleased for your partner if they get a promotion. It is not anti feminist. I would expect men are equally pleased for their partners when they get promotions. Why should people not tell their friends the good things that happen? Why does telling someone your partner got promoted translate into boasting about money? Reading everything that people twist into something horrible on mumsnet would make you afraid to open your mouth. It seems some people see bad in everything everybody says.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Wed 30-Oct-13 18:15:06

Someone else being rich/promoted/whatever doesn't impact me at all. I'm skint most of the time but I'm still happy to hear when my friends are doing well. I assume you will tell people if you get a better paid job? It's natural to want to share good news.

LynetteScavo Wed 30-Oct-13 18:16:05

I've never come across acquaintance did tell me her DH was well paid. Maybe they are saving it all, or maybe her idea of well paid is different from mine.

DH's boss comes out with some corkers...he's definitely not stealth boasting, just boasting. Or complaining - complaining that his brand new Aston Martin doesn't have heated seats. DH finds it funny.

WooWooOwl Wed 30-Oct-13 18:16:19

I think it's really sad that normal conversation is seen as boasting by jealous people. Why can't you just be happy for your friends, assuming these people are friends.

If my DH got a promotion I'd be proud of him, and if I mentioned it to someone else I'd think they were quite pathetic if they automatically assumed I was boasting. I'd rather listen to people, who were happy and proud of their loved ones, even if there was a small element of boasting, than people who were negative and felt sorry for themselves all the time.

MrsWolowitz Wed 30-Oct-13 18:16:49

I only know one person that can be a bit braggy and she is not popular at all. Boastfulness is very unappealing in a person.

I have very little cash and every month is a struggle. Sometimes it gets me down but I don't begrudge people having more than me.

I do begrudge people who feel the need to show off about their wealth though but, as I said, I don't really know any.

AmberDextrous Wed 30-Oct-13 18:17:01

I totally agree Katie
I love hearing good news and am genuinely pleased for people when things go well & they always are for me too smile
It's a nice way to be I think

Crowler Wed 30-Oct-13 18:17:51

Actually, I never hear people brag about how well-off they are in real life - only on MN. And only a select few here. I feel sorry for them.

azzbiscuit Wed 30-Oct-13 18:17:58

People who think they are something special because of their unearned (by them) wealth are rather sad and pathetic and should be pitied. The real worry is that the government (and opposition) are full of these types.

UsedToBeNDP Wed 30-Oct-13 18:18:07

It's ok to piss and moan about how skint you are but not comment if you're having a decent year/doing ok financially? You should just stfu and not talk about your life.

Mintyy Wed 30-Oct-13 18:19:18

I have only consistently come across this in rl from one person, who I considered a friend for a while. But now I've realised she is always incredibly smug and pleased with herself and I just dropped her don't see her any more. But that is one in hundreds, and I have many friends who have far more money than her too, tee hee.

MrPricklepants Wed 30-Oct-13 18:19:58

I've never heard anyone brag about their wealth, you mut know some very crass people.

UsedToBeNDP Wed 30-Oct-13 18:20:26

I don't think telling your friends that your H got a new job/ promotion is "bragging" either.

WereTricksPotter Wed 30-Oct-13 18:22:47

Boasting about money is dreadfully Common.

Sharing news about good fortune, on the other hand, is fine.

RandomMess Wed 30-Oct-13 18:22:57

Unfortunately I just seem to work with people about having no money when they are very comfortably off (they are very open about their finances) and it is very irritating as there are other people in the office who are really struggling and are much older and really there financial future is not great!!!!

Crowler Wed 30-Oct-13 18:23:06

No, I don't think discussing a promotion is bragging.

I think discussing income, how much your house is worth, private school fees, second homes, etc is crass.

Ememem84 Wed 30-Oct-13 18:23:36

Met a lady today while at a work lunch networking thing. Yawn. Asked her where she worked. Her reply "my husbands a senior partner at (other firm)". That's nice. But what do you do....?

perplexedpirate Wed 30-Oct-13 18:26:07

Bragging about material things is, I agree, horribly vulgar and ill-mannered.
But telling your friends how proud you are when your loved ones do well is different IMO.
My DH is flogging himself to death studying and working full time. When he passes his course you'd better believe people are going to hear about it!
I'm incredibly proud of him. smile

SeeYouNT Wed 30-Oct-13 18:27:30

MN may ot be the place for you then, superstar! Some people make it their life's work. Always the same people too

ha thats pretty much what i came on to say

and yes its always the same people, they make me long for a hide poster button hmm

Tulip26 Wed 30-Oct-13 18:29:37

There's nothing wrong with doing well for yourself or getting a promotion, good for you.

However, someone moaning to me that they're spending £120 a month on Sky and 'it's playing up' just annoys me. I'm not very material and I hate the idea of wasting money on something frivolous.

Crowler Wed 30-Oct-13 18:31:46

and yes its always the same people, they make me long for a hide poster button hmm


MrsDoomsPatterson Wed 30-Oct-13 18:35:42

I just remember back to the old Harry Enfield sketch, 'Considerably richer than yow' - yes, yes - we geddit, ya minted....

MrsDoomsPatterson Wed 30-Oct-13 18:36:30

I'm not hard up but, fooking 'ell....

Coupon Wed 30-Oct-13 18:36:56

Ememem84 maybe she thought you were asking what her connection was with that particular event.

needaholidaynow Wed 30-Oct-13 18:46:46

I'm too busy being working class and doing all criminal stuff to get my fortune to care about those well off people smile

AnyFuckerReporting Wed 30-Oct-13 18:48:40

When they start, just immediately start banging on about how attractive/clever/whatever you are instead. grin

6cats3gingerkittens Wed 30-Oct-13 18:48:54

AM GOING TO INCENSE THE POSTER. AM now better off than when I was working thanks to going without to pay for pensions. Rich to me is 1000/month and time to spend it in. Have been single since 1978 and have bought own tiny house. Now just me and the cats. Excuse me while I go and smug.

Enjoy 6cats, bloody good for you!

superstarheartbreaker Wed 30-Oct-13 18:50:14

I think it is lovely that people are proud of their partners but think its sad when they live through them. A bit like living through your kids I expect.

Crowler Wed 30-Oct-13 18:50:35

6cats, enjoy :-)

Tulip26 Wed 30-Oct-13 18:52:15

Well done 6cats! Nothing wrong with scrimping to enjoy life later on.

6cats3gingerkittens Wed 30-Oct-13 18:56:43

Thank you. Kind wishes gratefully accepted.

But ...
Just because you are proud of your DH achievement doesn't mean you have none of your own?

KirjavaTheCorpse Wed 30-Oct-13 19:05:32

My friend does this constantly, it drives me fucking batty.

She doesn't know that we earn more than her, because I've never told her all about our finances, oddly never felt the bloody need. I can only assume she's bragging because she thinks we earn less. Which makes it even worse. Why do people do it?

noisytoys Wed 30-Oct-13 19:06:25

It's similar to friends who say what they used to do before they had children when asked what they do. Often their children are teens / adults and they are still living what they used to do!

LEMisafucker Wed 30-Oct-13 19:10:26

The people who get my goat are those who are clearly doing very well, or comfortably but the whine about having no money hmm

Alot of the mums at DDs school have far more money that i will ever have, i would like to think they judge me for who i am rather than what have, i am the same.

Coupon Wed 30-Oct-13 19:20:44

Why should people feel they have to come up with a socially acceptable answer to "what do you do?" Maybe they just don't want to talk about work, or however they spend their time. Not very surprising when some people only ask so they can pigeonhole you.

HappyMummyOfOne Wed 30-Oct-13 19:21:15

MN can be like that but it also has a huge amount of people moaning re lw income/living on benefits so if we allow one set to moan then the other set should get the same rights.

You can be proud of your husbands achievements without showing off, i tend to find those that brag about their partners jobs/wage dont work or work little.

WeAreEternal Wed 30-Oct-13 19:21:15

Bragging about wealth is bad, but I find it far more annoying when people are moaning about how skint they are, even if it is stealthily.

perplexedpirate Wed 30-Oct-13 19:40:13

Oh don't worry, superstar, I can bang on about my own achievements quite fluently, ta.
Fwiw, it isn't recommended to ask 'and what do you do?' in social situations.
'And how do you spend your time' is easier for people to answer and means they get to tell you about their actual interests, rather than just their occupation.

Coupon Wed 30-Oct-13 19:42:55

Hear hear perplexedpirate.

mrsjay Wed 30-Oct-13 19:47:08

do you live of an inheritence (sp) ? so your not exactly on your arse are you TBH i dont think people on here are boastful but I am not a bitter person i like to hear people having a nice life holidays etc etc bitterness eats you up let it go

MoominMammasHandbag Wed 30-Oct-13 19:52:39

I have an old friend who is from a much more wealthy background than me. It honestly never bothered me. However as we have gone through life, with all it's ups and downs, me and DP have become increasingly more and more affluent than her and her DH. And she is obviously incredibly pissed off about it, to the extent that I have to go out of my way to avoid any mention of money, while she tries to drag it into every conversation. It is very difficult.

myron Wed 30-Oct-13 20:33:04

I've noticed that the tide has turned and people are far more likely to whinge about how skint they are (while clutching the latest gadgets and enjoying 2 week trips to Florida theme parks). Yes, everyone's human - I find it irritating as hell and merely grit my teeth - especially when it's family let alone close friends. I have to say that I only know one 'Flash Harry' and that's my cousin - he has a reputation as a total tightwad towards his own family though!

Tulip26 Wed 30-Oct-13 20:43:44

Another one - sorry, might upset a few here - but people who smoke then moan they've no money! Drives me mad, I used to smoke and I quit for my health and for financial reasons. It wasn't easy but nothing worth having is easy IMHO.

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