Am I bring a spoilsport?

(45 Posts)
WooWooCaChoo Tue 29-Oct-13 12:37:15

DP wants to do loads of fireworks in our garden for halloween and bonfire night, I've said a firm no.

1) we have just enough grass space but it's all overshadowed by lots of trees. There really isn't any bit of our garden that doesn't have trees hanging over.

2) next door has about 5 dogs and I know that at least 2 of them don't like fireworks, 1 of them is still young and hasn't experienced them yet.

3) DP isn't well known for his safety skills. He gets very excited around fireworks and thinks he is the exception to the rule.

So AIBU to say no? Him and his friend think I am.

squeakytoy Tue 29-Oct-13 12:50:00

yanbu for all the reasons stated at all..

there are plenty of organised displays, and there is no need for fireworks to be on sale to the public, especially nowadays considering that the fireworks available to buy should only be let off by skilled people

MurderOfBanshees Tue 29-Oct-13 12:50:54

YANBU, sounds like you've thought it through quite thoroughly.

YouTheCat Tue 29-Oct-13 12:53:38

Restrict him to sparklers. He sounds like a menace.

5Foot5 Tue 29-Oct-13 12:55:26

YANBU for the reasons you stated. But I do disagree with squeakytoy about there being no need for fireworks being on sale to the general plublic. OK there is no need but then there is no need for lots of things which are otherwise fun.

Not everyone will be irresponsible and annoy people. I think there are occasions when it is lovely to have some firworks to celebrate. One of these is New Year. Personally I love to go outside at midnight and see all the firworks going off all over the town and contribute an odd rocket or two to proceedings.

AlexaChelsea Tue 29-Oct-13 12:56:43

I think you are being a spoilsport.

Maybe ask him and his friend to go to a local park, instead of using your garden? I wouldn't care about the neighbours dogs though hmm

CoffeeTea103 Tue 29-Oct-13 13:00:13

What Alexa said

Fakebook Tue 29-Oct-13 13:04:10

We have fireworks almost every year for Dd's birthday as it falls around the same time as bonfire night. We let our neighbours know so they can put their dogs inside. We make sure we follow instructions so the rocket fireworks aren't aimed at trees. Things like Catherine wheels or fountains wouldn't be dangerous even with trees.

I think YABU. You can oversee the safety can't you?

festered Tue 29-Oct-13 13:04:36

Dogs are generally terrified of fireworks, you're caring about their welfare and with your garden, your own safety. I would say exactly the same as you in that situation.

AlexaChelsea Tue 29-Oct-13 13:06:07

Do other people genuinely not do things based on how other peoples dogs might feel?!

OvaryAction Tue 29-Oct-13 13:08:32


I once had the misfortune of going to a friend's bonfire party in her garden. Most of us spent the whole night cowering in the conservatory as the fireworks rained down on the roof and punctured the lawn where we would have otherwise been standing. I still can't comprehend how nobody got hurt.

I also know a man who lost a hand to a firework and he was trained!

MurderOfBanshees Tue 29-Oct-13 13:09:54

Some people like to get on with their neighbours and like to take other people's feelings/problems into account. Is that really so odd to you Alexa?

MonstrousPippin Tue 29-Oct-13 13:10:12

YANBU with the circumstances you describe. Some gardens just aren't safe for fireworks even when they are quite big.

Fireworks are nice thought and I wouldn't ban them completely but people need to be sensible about it.

I don't actually know, but I'd be careful about setting off fireworks in the local park. Is that allowed? It's the kind of thing I'd expect would be prohibited and some police might turn up to spoil your fun if someone calls them. Perhaps worth checking out.

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan Tue 29-Oct-13 13:10:29

What i dont get is why he hasnt realised these 3 points himself confused

Surely he knows there are lots of trees and 5 dogs next door? Why hasnt he decided himself that those are reasons enough not to do it? Is he quite immature?

AlexaChelsea Tue 29-Oct-13 13:11:57

Erm, no.. I get on with my neighbours hmm

But I don't make decisions about whether or not I will 'allow' my DH to do something he wants to do in our garden, based on whether or not it might bother a neighbours dog. It's a dog.

I can't see any reasonable person being angry and deciding they would no longer get along with their neighbour because they had some fireworks and their dog was upset. It's fireworks night. It will happen.

TooMuchRain Tue 29-Oct-13 13:12:08

Of course people think about their neighbours - it's part of being a functional member of society.

Optimist1 Tue 29-Oct-13 13:12:22

Another one who thinks YABU ... the small-scale charm of a garden fireworks event is such fun, and as Fakebook says, there are plenty of fireworks that don't require lots of space. Invite some local friends, put yummy supper in the oven to cook whilst you're oo-ing and aa-ing and when the last sparkler has fizzled out you can all troop inside to have a warming wine or brew.

Agree you should oversee his purchases though - you don't want those Surface-Air Missile type things!!

kim147 Tue 29-Oct-13 13:12:32

I'd think about my neighbours and their dogs. I just wish people around here would think about other people when they set fireworks off late at night before Bonfire night.

You also get a great display at a public one.

AlexaChelsea Tue 29-Oct-13 13:13:06

Goof point pippin - you are allowed around here (loads of people do it, every year) but might not be the case in every jurisdiction. So yeah, maybe check before you go off to the park!

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan Tue 29-Oct-13 13:13:10

And hmm at op having to oversee another adult in possession of fireworks. If he intends on having them he should be responsible enough not to need supervised by anyone else! Op isnt his mother and who is to say she has any better knowledge of fireworks than he has?

edwinbear Tue 29-Oct-13 13:20:11

YANBU. I love fireworks and bonfire night, but the thought of anyone setting them off in my garden terrifies me as I worry about them going off in someone's face or setting fire to the roof/shed/next door neighbour's tree. We will take sparklers to an organised display which is far cheaper (fireworks cost a packet) and are far better quality being professional, display fireworks. When I remember my dad setting off the odd random catherine wheel, which spun round limply before falling off the fence accompanied by him muttering under his breath, I can't imagine schoosing a home display over a professional one.

BigOrangePumpkin Tue 29-Oct-13 13:33:58

A massive YANBU from me too. I am absolutely terrified of fireworks though so I don't think you could pay me enough money to let DP set off fireworks in our garden!

SkinnybitchWannabe Tue 29-Oct-13 15:09:35

We have fireworks in our garden and go to the local display. Its great.
My db sets them all up and is very careful with them.
Have a look at the ones on sale..theres loads of smaller ones so your trees will be safe.

MrsApplepants Tue 29-Oct-13 17:39:03

Yanbu. Go to a display and buy him a packet of sparklers

WooWooCaChoo Tue 29-Oct-13 17:42:36

Ok so a mixed bag of opinions here. I suppose some of the smaller ones would be ok, just no big whooshy ones as there really isn't the air space for them.

I just worry for his safety, he always thinks it will happen to someone else and not him. He's not safe with them, stands too close etc. maybe I'm just too much of a worrier!

I do think it would be unfair on our neighbour though, we get on really well and I'd hate to upset the dogs.

Floralnomad Tue 29-Oct-13 17:49:58

If your garden is as described I think I agree with you as its a waste of money but TBH some of the funniest home videos we have are of my DH lighting ( or attempting to light fireworks) when my children were small , its been hysterical . I also wouldn't worry about the dog as he's going to hear fireworks be it yours or someone else's . My neighbour always has a garden display and my dog sleeps through it .

harticus Tue 29-Oct-13 19:11:58

YANBU - fireworks are a pain in the arse.
Go to an organised do.
Safer, cheaper, more impressive and less anti-social.

hugoagogo Tue 29-Oct-13 19:17:25

Fireworks should not even be on sale to the public imo.

trinity0097 Tue 29-Oct-13 20:46:09

We do a display through school and the exclusion zone from the setting off area is about 150m, even if home fireworks are smaller a small garden is no place for fireworks. There are loads of good displays around, you get far better displays that way!

"I can't see any reasonable person being angry and deciding they would no longer get along with their neighbour because they had some fireworks and their dog was upset. It's fireworks night. It will happen."

Halloween and Birthdays arn't "fireworks night", so just as a matter of courtesy, if your neighbours have pets, you should tell them that you are planning to set off fireworks.

My dog is very stressed by them, I would be happy to go out with my dog for most of the evening, or change my plans, as it is my choice to have a pet. I would like them to be considerate enough to let me know, as I wouldn't understand why they would not give a shit about distressing a member if my household, even if it is "just a dog".

I am setting off a few fireworks at my Mums, for my DD's Birthdays, I am letting the neighbours know.

The main issue that needs to be considered is the safety aspect, you need enough space to stand back, as well as overhanging trees etc.

WooWooCaChoo Wed 30-Oct-13 06:33:04

Oh and also he would not be sober while doing these fireworks!

I don't mind what anyone else thinks really tbh, just wanted to see if I was massively unreasonable or just a bit. Thanks for your opinions.

LtAllHallowsEve Wed 30-Oct-13 06:44:44

I think you are very considerate OP. My friend has a number of dogs, one of which is absolutely petrified of fireworks, to the point of going into fits - foaming at the mouth, being sick and messing himself. Which may be fine if he was a handbag dog, but not so easy to cope with as he is an 8 stone Rottweiller. The last couple of years my friend has paid for him to stay actually at the vets on bonfire night, so he can be sedated.

Well done you! I wish you were my friends neighbour.

livingzuid Wed 30-Oct-13 07:02:46

Alexa I cnnot believe you would say something so callous if you had seen the effect first hand that fireworks can have on dogs. Great respect to the op for taking that factor into consideration.

As to DH drunken in charge of fireworks is it wrong that image made me chuckle (what is it with men and fire and gunpowder driven antics?!)

ZingWantsCake Wed 30-Oct-13 07:15:37

can you call a fire station and ask if they do safety assessment?

if he heard it from them that it is just not safe he'll shut up about it.
sorry, sometimes you need the "teacher" to sort it out. wink

NoComet Wed 30-Oct-13 07:18:35

I love fire works and I hate dogs, so you are asking the wrong person thlwink

soontobeburns Wed 30-Oct-13 07:21:48

Whilst of course you do get illegal fireworks here, it makes me happy to know you need to buy a licence (£40 I think) here before you can get any.

We dont have bonfire night so not the same amount of people want them, but im glad they are really dangerous and stress my dog out too sad

So just to say OP YADDNBU

SatinSandals Wed 30-Oct-13 07:30:27

It seems fairly simple to me, you have an unsuitable garden. You don't really need to go into the other factors because the fact that the garden is unsuitable makes it a none starter.

intitgrand Wed 30-Oct-13 08:17:09

yes you are a spoilsport.It will be fine

SatinSandals Wed 30-Oct-13 08:29:41

It has all the ingredients not to be fine!

ZingWantsCake Wed 30-Oct-13 09:51:02

also my husband does the fireworks at our kids school (and loves it of course) but he had to do a one day learning course.
The PTA paid for it as safety is paramount.

maybe he could do one as well and then he could do the fireworks at school.
he'd love it, kids would love it, PTA gets a bunch of money raised on the day (last year we had over a grand profit!) so win-win-win.

diddl Wed 30-Oct-13 09:54:46

If he's not safe I think that that answers it tbh.

OHforDUCKScake Wed 30-Oct-13 09:55:24

Big fag no.

Id not support that at all.

Howsuper Wed 30-Oct-13 10:01:10

My dh is a nutter with fireworks - what is it with men and fire? So I'd probably try and put him off to save life and limb.

Surely you can't go to a local park and just let fireworks off as some have suggested??!

Re the dog next door, I'd just give them notice. There will be tons of fireworks that night so the dogs will have to suck it up!

Howsuper Wed 30-Oct-13 10:04:28

Love the big 'fag' no, DUCK!

ZingWantsCake Wed 30-Oct-13 10:05:41

it's not just men though.
I would have done the fireworks training if I hadn't been pg at the time!grin

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