To not want to sit in silence to watch someone's wedding video?

(146 Posts)
Mittensonkittens Sun 27-Oct-13 20:30:48

Our niece got married three weeks ago. We attended the wedding. Dh's family have been OBSESSED with the wedding, especially bil and sil.

Today we were at my pil's when they popped round (niece, her husband, sil and bil) with the wedding video so we could watch it (great, would not have gone if I'd known). They kept calling it the "greatest film of the century" and laughing, but I think they may have been serious.

So they put it on and then we had to sit and watch it and every time someone spoke bil would say "shhhh shhhh this is a good bit coming up" and glare so eventually everyone sat in silence for two and a half hours. We tried to make a break for it twice but both times bil was all "no stay stay there's a great bit coming up." Yes, we were there only three weeks ago, Im fairly sure i can remember what happens next. The only time we were allowed to speak was after Bil's speech when we were encouraged to bestow lots of praise and astonishment at how brilliant it was. Bil rewound parts of it twice hmm

We also had to listen to all the guests saying congratulations at the end as they filmed a personal message from each guest, which basically went "congratulations niece and dh, we hope you'll have a great life together." It went on for quite some time. Lovely for them I'm sure but given that we had no idea who most of these people were it did get slightly monotonous.

Aibu to not want to spend two and a half hours watching a wedding DVD in silence, especially since I attended the wedding only three weeks ago in person? Or am I just mean?

Panzee Sun 27-Oct-13 20:32:53

Oh Jesus, I don't know how you did it. I would have started giggling and been asked to leave.

Nyborg Sun 27-Oct-13 20:33:10

YANBU.

WorraLiberty Sun 27-Oct-13 20:33:55

You do sound a bit mean spirited but I can see how it must have been a bit annoying.

Still it's done now.

Mittensonkittens Sun 27-Oct-13 20:37:18

See I think it's just really different to how I am, I didn't want a wedding video when we got married because I hate myself on video, although I know lots of people do have them, comes down to personal choice I guess. But if we had I can't imagine making people watch it in reverent silence, mainly because I wouldn't have thought anyone else would be interested!

starsandunicorns Sun 27-Oct-13 20:38:48

Oh good grief think myself and dp would made a beeline to the door and just left dp can be blunt sometimes though we rarly speak to either of our familes

Sparklingbrook Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:06

Hahahaha. Only thing more boring than the actual wedding-the wedding on video. grin

I would have had an 'emergency' to deal with and left.

Bigfingers Sun 27-Oct-13 20:39:39

YADNBU that is hysterical awful, mittens. I don't think you sound mean-spirited grin

Next time you need to say you have the shits grin

Sparklingbrook Sun 27-Oct-13 20:40:41

<arf> at 'there's a good bit coming up'. V unlikely.

Mittensonkittens Sun 27-Oct-13 20:40:52

A significant portion of it was set to panpipes "my heart will go on" by Celine Dion. I am not a fan of it when Celine Dion sings it, who knew panpipes were even worse?

Mittensonkittens Sun 27-Oct-13 20:41:51

Yes sparkling I wanted to say "do you mean the end?"

Sparklingbrook Sun 27-Oct-13 20:41:59

hahaha it gets worse better Mittens.

Sparklingbrook Sun 27-Oct-13 20:43:01

Did the video start with some cringey engagement still pics Mittens?

Mittensonkittens Sun 27-Oct-13 20:44:01

No, it started with baby pictures of the bride and groom. Then childhood pictures. Then cringey engagement stills.
Set to panpipes. Obviously.

Sparklingbrook Sun 27-Oct-13 20:45:18

Oh no. I almost want to see it now. Baby pictures? grin And hear it too. How do you look on it? Anyone caught saying anything they shouldn't?

Sounds hideous! grin

runawaysimba Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:39

Oh, Jesus. I thought the point of wedding videos was for the newlyweds to relive the day, and that's it. Why is it okay to subject you to two and a half hours of anything you didn't agree to?

WhoNickedMyName Sun 27-Oct-13 20:47:44

Congratulations - I never thought I'd find someone with a worse video experience than mine - having to sit thru a 30 minute DVD of a friends 3d baby scan, but you beat me hands down.

Two and a half hours?!

I'd have had to feign a sudden attack of the shits or something.

Sparklingbrook Sun 27-Oct-13 20:48:54

YY the wedding video should be watched by the bride and groom then put in the loft forever with the wedding album and the dried bouquet.

Mittensonkittens Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:04

Most of it was set to panpipes, only the vows and speeches that you could hear. So it was a long two and a half hours. Mainly people milling around.

I'm barely on it, thank god. I made an effort to stay out of shot. My hair looked good though grin

Bigfingers Sun 27-Oct-13 20:49:10

oh dear lord it sounds frightful.

Forewarned is forearmed - next it will be the baby birth video, then the yearly video of liddlediddums - plan for next time...

ipswichwitch Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:46

Yanbu. I can't help but go all glassy eyed when having to watch a DVD of a wedding I was at and already know all the "good bits" of. Especially when expected to watch 2.5hrs of it in silence with rewound "highlights" - god I would have died of boredom.
I dis have the experience of sitting through an ILs wedding DVD recently and had to play "guess which guest that was" since the camera man only recorded close ups of boobs and kept cutting off the heads. That was a fun 2 hours.

Sparklingbrook Sun 27-Oct-13 20:51:47

Ooh yes a live birth video set to pan pipes next.

ThePinkOcelot Sun 27-Oct-13 20:52:15

That's 2.5 hours of your life you will never get back! YANBU! How tedious!

puntasticusername Sun 27-Oct-13 20:52:35

Roflmao, panpipes grin

Mittensonkittens Sun 27-Oct-13 21:00:06

Oh no. Birthing set to panpipes. shock it's going to happen isn't it? I may meet to emigrate before that happens.

Sparklingbrook Sun 27-Oct-13 21:02:31

As long as it's not the conception set to pan pipes Mittens. wink

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 27-Oct-13 21:09:47

Oh dear, they're still high on wedding adrenaline aren't they? It'll wear off.

Dh still calls our wedding the wedding of the year hmm.

Weddings are like babies, if you've had one everyone else's seems a bit pedestrian.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 27-Oct-13 21:20:18

I can't even bear to watch my own wedding DVD. Mind you I was a bit fatter then. and looked bloody awful

fanjofarrow Sun 27-Oct-13 21:21:59

Hell no! Wedding vids are dull.

hallowisitmeyourelookingfor Sun 27-Oct-13 21:41:51

Oh god, yawn at wedding videos in general, unless it is your own, and even then, it will still be boring to everyone else.
Friends of ours wanted us to watch theirs and have us round for dinner with some other couples. We politely made our excuses. We had all been to the wedding 4 weeks before.
YANBU, I would have left. Bit rude to presume you wanted to spend 2 and a half hours in silence watching it really.

clary Sun 27-Oct-13 22:15:21

Two and a half hours???

No YANBU.

Why would anyone want to watch it? And not to be allowed to speak? I think I might have gone for a hour-long quick read in the downstairs loo.

LondonNightmareInGhostlyBoots Sun 27-Oct-13 22:16:16

Not sure what the point of them is tbh, no one really wants to watch them do they! I got married 3 weeks ago and I don't want to watch a video of it, I was there! Although watching my cousin sit cross legged on the floor with her nose almost on the tv watching her wedding video the first time was very cutesmile

My aunt videoed mine apparently which was very sweet of her and I'm sure when I come to watch it it will be more interesting, but it's not compulsory for anyone else. hmm I've never seem my parents', I only found out they had one when I asked advice on getting a professional one done. They advised against!

OwlinaTree Sun 27-Oct-13 22:33:30

Me and DH had to watch a video someone had made of the house they were buying. It was set to 'our house' by madness instrumental version.

I had to leave the room as I was trying so hard not to laugh!

Salmotrutta Sun 27-Oct-13 22:40:26

It's the equivalent of being made to sit through reels and reels of old holiday cine films. Like they had back when I was a young un.

yes, I mean you MIL

friday16 Sun 27-Oct-13 22:43:15

About twenty years ago, when wedding videos were starting to become a thing (but were just as tacky as they are now) a colleague gave a frightening account of a dinner party they had attended. After dinner (ie, it was already quite late) the guests were subjected to the wedding video, but each time anyone was thought to have been paying insufficient attention it was rewound for full appreciation. Over time people's attention wandered, so progress slowed to a glacial pace. Several people just left, leaving the bride weeping that people didn't care, but still showing the video. My colleague didn't know how it ended, as they too had eventually just walked out. I suspect it's one way to shed unwanted friends.

friday16 Sun 27-Oct-13 22:43:58

It's the equivalent of being made to sit through reels and reels of old holiday cine films

"Would you like to see my holiday video?"

"No".

Mittensonkittens Sun 27-Oct-13 22:46:58

Our house! <weeps>
I'd like to think they were doing it I am ironic way, but I don't suppose they were!

Salmotrutta Sun 27-Oct-13 22:47:27

Quite hard to say "No" though Friday when it's your new fiancées Mum...

wink

Without sounding rude anyway.

On the up side, it was such a faff to set up back in those days I only had to sit through them once. grin

quesadilla Sun 27-Oct-13 22:49:25

Good grief it sounds like purgatory. I think expecting someone to sit through your wedding video is a tall order under any circumstances, never mind in silence.

It sounds like it would have been funny as fuck if you had been able to laugh openly at it...
Panpipe Celine Dion... It straight out of Alan Partifge.

Think you did well not to crack up.

friday16 Sun 27-Oct-13 22:52:40

Panpipe Celine Dion

I've never been able to track down the panpipe Love Will Tear Us Apart that I'm sure I once heard in a hotel lobby.

BreconBeBuggered Sun 27-Oct-13 23:08:49

You poor thing. My SIL had about 3 hours' worth of footage from her big day that MIL wanted us to sit and watch, as we'd missed some of it what with being out of the room to breastfeed a 3-month-old for an apparently unacceptable length of time. It included long, long shots of table settings. I'd have been weeping openly after about an hour, but fortunately DH can be massively rude and they were glad to let us out in the end.

Jan49 Sun 27-Oct-13 23:34:22

OMG I think I'd have gone to the toilet and not gone back.

I have a video of my wedding but it's 7 minutes long and I don't think anyone other than me and my then h and my ds has ever seen it. And it's boring.

MrTumblesKnickers Mon 28-Oct-13 01:05:24

"It's the equivalent of being made to sit through reels and reels of old holiday cine films"

I actually love this! (Except for the one the PILs have of a Christmas dinner which just shows everyone eating in silence for 20 minutes with the odd "lovely mashed potatoes, darling").

But a 2.5 hour video of an event you were at 3 weeks before .... no thanks. And panpipes? NONONO.

ZingWantsCake Mon 28-Oct-13 04:49:00

fuck that, I would have left after 5 mins.

sorry, but I laughed all the way reading your OP.grin grin grin
just unbelievable!

ZingWantsCake Mon 28-Oct-13 04:54:20

best bits
BiL rewound his speech 3 times
set to panpipes

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Lavenderhoney Mon 28-Oct-13 05:54:39

The pan pipes bit made me laughsmile you showed remarkable restraint there, op.

You realise you'll be getting your very own signed copy for Christmas don't you? smile You could make them a special wedding DVD cover for it for their present. You know, a DVD cosysmile could catch on..

FrankieStien Mon 28-Oct-13 06:10:06

I wouldn't of been able to hack it. YANBU.

KalevalaForMePlease Mon 28-Oct-13 06:20:21

Oh God, I am crying at this! Pan pipes?! Celine Dion?! One day they'll look back at this and cringe! (I hope)

FruOla Mon 28-Oct-13 06:26:15

Oh dear, hahahahaha grin grin

You know you're going to have to avoid your ILs for at least a year now? They'll put it on at any given opportunity - just in case you missed a bit the last time you saw it. And there will probably be a first anniversary party where you'll all have to watch it .... again.

FruOla Mon 28-Oct-13 06:30:10

<snort> just found the Celine Dion pan pipes on You Tube www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET8p8jzPTb8

FlyLikeABird Mon 28-Oct-13 06:40:54

Where was the new husband during this lovely get together with the in laws? How did he manage to escape? I'd be getting tips from him grin

tilliebob Mon 28-Oct-13 06:52:30

I remember after my wedding (20 years ago - where the feck has the time gone?) that my mum was driven nuts by my dad watching and rewatching the wedding video pretty much continually. My dad isn't given to big displays of emotion and looking back we think it was some kind of therapy for him - his wee girl leaving home,etc, esp we then moved 200 miles away.

Or maybe your BIL is just trying to come to terms with the huge amount of dosh he's spent on one day wink

roughtyping Mon 28-Oct-13 06:58:07

I couldn't even sit through my own vows on the video... I liked the dancing bits though grin

FreudiansSlipper Mon 28-Oct-13 07:08:16

I had to sit through my friends it's was about half an hour spoilt by ds who kept shouting out there I am look mummy smile

why would anyone think other than those directly involved would be in the slightest bit interested amazes me how self absorbed people can be

pianodoodle Mon 28-Oct-13 07:15:46

Panpipes rarely improve anything grin

I feel for you!

Mittensonkittens Mon 28-Oct-13 07:30:08

There probably will be an anniversary screening.
So far on FB bil and sil have wished Niece and her new husband a happy one week, two week and three week anniversary. I want to comment and say anniversary means annual. As in a year. You cannot have a one week anniversary.
I wonder if they will do it for the entire year until it really is a proper anniversary?

LifeofPo Mon 28-Oct-13 07:41:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TEErickOrTEEreat Mon 28-Oct-13 07:42:11

You're a better person than I am. I would have said 'Yes. I was there. Have a nice day.' And leave.

Dillytante Mon 28-Oct-13 07:57:31

Hideous! And FWIW I hate it at weddings when videographers or well meaning friends force you to give a message to the couple on video!

friday16 Mon 28-Oct-13 08:00:54

I wonder if they will do it for the entire year until it really is a proper anniversary?

If the marriage lasts that long.

OwlinaTree Mon 28-Oct-13 08:08:55

No not in an ironic way at all!!!

ohmeohmyforgotlogin Mon 28-Oct-13 08:09:10

YANBU I haven't even watched the DVD of my own wedding

SunshineMMum Mon 28-Oct-13 08:09:13

grin YANBU, still at least it is done, unless they expect to replay it on the anniversary each year.

ziggiestardust Mon 28-Oct-13 08:18:28

Oh gosh, WHY do people think you want to watch their cringey wedding videos?!

My friend had one made from her wedding abroad; and it was really badly made and cringeworthy. The groom looked awkward during the whole thing, which immediately makes you feel you're watching something inappropriate! They're normally a very private couple who do not display affection at all, so watching them get into poses with the photographer, kiss for ever, him swing her around on the beach etc, felt like we were intruding.

The whole thing was set to Lion King-esque music, drums and tribal singing going on and building up when they walked down the aisle, reaching a crescendo when they reached the vicar. It then backed off a bit to some light bongo tapping whilst they were doing their bit, only to wildly take off again into a sort of wild celebration of drums and singing after the vicar said 'you may now kiss the bride'.

I felt rude after watching it blush

MrBloomsMarrow Mon 28-Oct-13 08:31:41

YANBU. I don't interest myself enough to watch a 2 1/2 hour video of me and DH. I think it's just about OK to show drastically edited highlights (about 3 mins) to people who weren't actually there but anything beyond that is verging on narcisissm.
And I am actually allergic to panpipes < fact>

LordPalmerston Mon 28-Oct-13 08:32:21

thats almost as bad as the time I had to watch all star wars movies

In german

HowlingTrap Mon 28-Oct-13 08:35:33

Eurgh, I'm glad I didn't have a video.

I have a USB of pics people flick through on the TV when they pop round, much more relaxed.

you do sound a bit weddingscrooge grin

Dobbiesmum Mon 28-Oct-13 08:40:52

All the best bits of a wedding are the bits that can't be shown on the wedding video ime grin grin
YANBU and not mean at all, sounds like the definition of tedium!!

Mittensonkittens Mon 28-Oct-13 08:42:11

Panpipes howling panpipes.
Panpipes can surely make the most ardent of wedding lovers weep.

lljkk Mon 28-Oct-13 09:00:26

2.5 hours? I think you've earned some seriously good karma for sitting thru that graciously, OP.

MidniteScribbler Mon 28-Oct-13 09:10:55

I feel your pain. I had to sit through a birth video once. Complete with camera angle from the .... urhmmm... business end. Set to 'Isn't She Lovely' on repeat for three FECKING hours.

Panzee Mon 28-Oct-13 09:25:20

HowlingTrap even if you were my best friend I wouldn't want to look at your wedding pictures, beyond one that was framed on the wall.

Panzee Mon 28-Oct-13 09:25:49

Oh god I missed the last post.

BIRTHING VIDEO?!!!!!?

kiriwAnyFuckerwa Mon 28-Oct-13 09:29:20

I hate looking at other people's photos. No one wants to see your wedding photos howling, except perhaps your mum.

mittens - there is no earthly way I could have sat through that.

liquidstate Mon 28-Oct-13 09:32:50

Sound like my idea of hell. shock

Sparklingbrook Mon 28-Oct-13 09:44:59

OMG camera down the goal end midnite? shock Isn't she lovely as a soundtrack? shock

QueenArseClangers Mon 28-Oct-13 09:55:04

ziggy I've just swallowed my porridge the wrong way thanks to your lightly tapping bongo video story! Ha!

Sparklingbrook Mon 28-Oct-13 09:57:05

I am loving these especially the musical accompaniments. I wish I had a story to add.

UsedToBeNDP Mon 28-Oct-13 10:07:24

Yanbu, it sounds heinous

Howlsmovingcastle Mon 28-Oct-13 10:08:45

My parents kept on trying to make me watch my own vows. I watched a few times and then said 'Why do you keep re-running this? I was THERE fgs.'

They put their phones away yes they were phone videos muttering something about how they thought I'd like them.

Every so often I would still come across my mum sitting there watching them in a corner somewhere weirdo

friday16 Mon 28-Oct-13 10:12:06

They put their phones away

If only they'd done that at the wedding, eh?

diddl Mon 28-Oct-13 10:12:18

My dad has got our wedding video-a friend did it.

Don't think anyone has seen it yet.

We had our 18th WA this year!

Guess no one is that bothered about reliving it!

GladitsnotJustMe Mon 28-Oct-13 10:20:54

Jeezus that sounds excruciating - surely the only thing that would make anyone's wedding vid bearable is if you're encouraged to laugh and reminisce through it all "haha, look at Aunty Maude's dancing", "oh granny looks a bit drunk there" etc... to do it in revered silence is just.. weird

Thank you LifeofPo <<I remember Helen Daniels died watching Kylie and Jason's wedding video on neighbours, a warning to us all about the dangers of tedium>> that gave me my first LOL of the day!!!

Poor Helen Daniels. Did they play Angry Anderson's 'Suddenly' while she died?

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 28-Oct-13 10:22:20

oh god, FIL got a video camera years ago and at every visit you would look up from picking your nose or something and there he would be with the fecking thing pointed at you, no warning or anything. we have never yet seen any of the years and years of footage he must have. made a comment once about getting it onto DVD's we all ignored him. god that will be interminably boring if it ever comes to light.

MrBloomsMarrow Mon 28-Oct-13 10:45:03

midnite are you serious? Who would seriously think that anyone would want to watch 3 hours footage of their fanjo? How did you react?

mrsjay Mon 28-Oct-13 10:50:32

My own wedding video bored me to tears and tbh I have no idea why we got one done a friend of MILs offered to do it he was doing media or something at college and we said yes, yanbu but maybe the inlaws were trying to be funny with the shushing IYSWIM , just wait until you get an invite to watch the 4d scan video hmm

mrsjay Mon 28-Oct-13 10:52:35

OP you will get the DVD photo disk to look through soon of which pictures you want and if it is like DH nephews there was 3 hundred to chose from shock -- i am so mean sometimes--

Tinklewinkle Mon 28-Oct-13 10:53:00

YANBU

We've got a wedding video - a friend did it for us, videoed the whole thing, edited it, set it to cheesy music and gave it to us as a belated wedding preset.

I've never seen it, let alone subjected anyone else to it

mrsjay Mon 28-Oct-13 10:56:36

my friend invited me to watch hers I was bridesmaid we sat down with alcohol and nibbles about 10 minutes in friend had this hmm and said do you fancy watching dirty dancing grin

Howlsmovingcastle Mon 28-Oct-13 12:00:39

friday16 well yes, quite! grin

liquidstate Mon 28-Oct-13 12:24:21

My dad made a slideshow of my wedding pics and set it to music. Even I found it dull. Not sure about the Daniel O'Donnell soundtrack though hmm. Needless to say my mum loved it.

BeCoolFucker Mon 28-Oct-13 12:29:10

ha ha ha ha - OMG I'm so sorry OP but your pain is making me wince and laugh all at the same time. It must have been fucking dreadful and you deserve a big shiny medal. I could not have done this.

Some people have no idea do they? OK play it if you must but in the background FFS!!!! To insist full attention from all is full on narcissism ins't it???

You are my saint of the day!!

friday16 Mon 28-Oct-13 12:30:11

To insist full attention from all is full on narcissism

Anyone who insists on full attention is probably on glue.

BeCoolFucker Mon 28-Oct-13 12:32:24

We also had to listen to all the guests saying congratulations at the end as they filmed a personal message from each guest, which basically went "congratulations niece and dh, we hope you'll have a great life together." It went on for quite some time.
<hysteria>
grin

ziggiestardust Mon 28-Oct-13 12:43:25

Anyone who insists on full attention is probably on glue.
grin hahahaaaa!

5Foot5 Mon 28-Oct-13 13:09:20

The only point of having the wedding recorded is in case something goes hilariously wrong like the groom fainting face first in to the cake or the bride getting her dress stuck in her knickers, and then you can send it off to You've Been Framed or whatever it is and claim your £200 prize.

I feel for you OP - I really do.

We were given a copy of BILs wedding DVD because we couldn't be there. Thankfully they didn't expect to watch it with us so we were able to FF past the boring bits (most of it)

Gatekeeper Mon 28-Oct-13 13:16:03

light bongo tapping <chokes on crumb>

limitedperiodonly Mon 28-Oct-13 13:29:15

A friend inflicted her wedding video on me. She was divorced, but it had been her big day so...

As if that wasn't self-obsessed enough, she also complained that her dad had spoiled it by walking out for a little cry in the car park.

She'd wanted it held in a particular synagogue but the rabbi insisted her uncle took her dad's part because her dad was a Jewish convert so not worthy.

She went along with it. Nice girl. We're not in touch any more.

mrsjay Mon 28-Oct-13 13:35:12

oh i forgot i had a wedding dvd sent to me by them of the 300 pictures with a thankyou note for their present, have not watched it

Dobbiesmum Mon 28-Oct-13 13:38:21

You can all come round and watch my wedding video, it's 10 minutes long and consists mostly of my Mum bossing people around, it didn't even get as far as me walking down the isle! The person who was supposed to be videoing it (even though we weren't bothered) left his camera in the church for the rest of the day so we didn't get anything else.
We can watch it while talking and drinking then get down to watching Strictly grin

Cerisier Mon 28-Oct-13 13:48:20

limited that is such a sad story, poor dad shock

pigletmania Mon 28-Oct-13 13:51:31

I would Rather stick pins in my eyes. Self absorbed much. I would have inched closer and loser to the door, then say gottogo now and make a dash before anyone could protest

Pinkpinot Mon 28-Oct-13 13:53:58

Oh no
That sounds awful
And a bit funny

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock Mon 28-Oct-13 13:56:03

grin Thanks for the laughs, OP. I do sympathise though; how awful!

Store it up to use in an article/stand-up routine/short film so you at least get some £££ out of it.

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock Mon 28-Oct-13 13:56:17

PS Celine Dion pan pipes shock grin

Viviennemary Mon 28-Oct-13 13:57:25

Why do people put others through this torture. At least you knew the person. Somebody expected me once to watch a video of somebody I didn't even know getting married. From the bridesmaids getting ready. I made my excuses and left. The same with endless photographs especially on computer screen. With an explanation for each one and only 799 to go after you've already seen loads.

pigletmania Mon 28-Oct-13 14:01:30

Well if it hapens again, I woud tell tem thanks but you've already seen it, make excuses and go

"So far on FB bil and sil have wished Niece and her new husband a happy one week, two week and three week anniversary."
Maybe because they're pleased the marriage is lasting so long? The cynic in me thinks that the more important the wedding is to someone, the less important the marriage. <rolls eyes at mittens BIL/SIL/niece, sympathises with mittens>

BalloonSlayer Mon 28-Oct-13 14:09:12

I had to watch a 4D scan video a couple of months back.

"Would you like to watch it? It's only 20 minutes!" was the cheery question.

What could I say?

"No, I would rather crawl up a Hippopotamus's arse," - too rude,
"No I think they are bloody creepy" - too honest and also too rude
"Good Gracious is that the time? We need to get off!" - blatantly a lie

Sigh.

It was every bit as creepy as I had thought. Which was a shame because I was madly excited about the baby in question and did not wish to view anything that made him seem repellent.

Then I was told that the 4D scans actually don't show you what the baby actually looks like. They only pick up the "bare bones" so to speak of the foetus, and the computer fleshes the image out. Ah! So that's why it looks so creepy.

Using the last dregs remaining at the bottom of my social skills tank, which had been already been run almost dry that afternoon, I managed to refrain from saying: "Well if this isn't what the baby actually looks like then WHAT'S THE BLOODY POINT??? And did you say it was 300 quid?????"

Baby is here now and breathtakingly beautiful and all-round gorgeous, and I would like to say to him: "Who's a gorgeous baby den?! Who's so much better looking than that fecking awful scan video den?! Who had Balloon worried he was going to look like a monster den?! Yes! You!!"

Notafoodbabyanymore Mon 28-Oct-13 14:11:09

Genius! This has really made me laugh OP, thanks. Some people just have no idea, do they?!?!?

AnyChippednailvarnishfucker Mon 28-Oct-13 14:26:24

Had a flatmate who listened to panpipe music, we're no longer in touch.

MiaowTheCat Mon 28-Oct-13 14:30:18

Had a boss once invite all her staff to theirs for drinks - and got the childbirth videos out. If there's one thing I want to see less than random fanjo, its employer's fanjo.

Mittensonkittens Mon 28-Oct-13 14:34:08

Heartening to read that my in laws aren't the only self obsessed people in the world when it comes to making others watching life events on video.

They've just had the pictures back and sent us a link, had a quick look. There were 16 of the Bruce's shoes artistically arranged. 16.

Panpipes are unforgivable in all circumstances and should be outlawed.
The scene of the bride swinging back and forth whilst her new dh pushed her on a child's swing and set to the power of love (in panpipes) nearly tipped me over the edge.

Mittensonkittens Mon 28-Oct-13 14:34:54

No one wants to see their employer's fanjo miaow

Notafoodbabyanymore Mon 28-Oct-13 14:50:39

grin at the Bruce's shoes.

Too many funny things in this thread to mention...

TheGhostofAmandaClarke Mon 28-Oct-13 15:01:13

I will happily watch other ppl's holiday pics/ vids (probably not in silence) but OP's situation would have made me want to scream.
I think I would have jumped up, yelled "shit, I left the gas on" and go home/ to the pub/ supermarket/ dump......
But I don't really enjoy actual weddings much either thlblush

ZingWantsCake Mon 28-Oct-13 15:07:25

I'm guessing you had to watch in silence and concetrate because they are showing it to everyone and there will be a test later.

the exam will be sophisticated - put events in chronological order, match people to well wishing phrases, spot the difference, spot the red herring, yes/no answer, multiple choice and essay.

when the results are out the winner will get a treat (a copy of wedding dvd) and everyone else has to rewatch the best bits (and will get a copy of the dvd).

moogy1a Mon 28-Oct-13 15:09:28

The scene of the bride swinging back and forth whilst her new dh pushed her on a child's swing and set to the power of love (in panpipes) nearly tipped me over the edge
No, I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that ( though I hope to God it's true!).
Please let's have someone else on here admitting to this sort of shenannigans

Mittensonkittens Mon 28-Oct-13 15:13:20

It's true moogy - is that a good or bad thing? It was in slow motion too.

I hope there isn't going to be a quiz zing although I wouldn't be at all surprised. There was a quiz at the wedding about the bride and groom.

moogy1a Mon 28-Oct-13 15:15:21

Sweet lord. Slow motion as well? Don't suppose there's any way we can get to see this? It sounds the most awesome thing I've ever heard of.
And you managed to watch this without pissing yourself?!!

ipswichwitch Mon 28-Oct-13 15:21:33

am literally dying laughing here at pan pipe "love will tear us apart" friday you could make a compillation of highly inappropriate songs redone in panpipes - rage against the machine anyone?

and also remember Helen Daniels died watching Kylie and Jason's wedding video on neighbours, a warning to us all about the dangers of tedium

i'll go into labour early at this rate!

kiriwAnyFuckerwa Mon 28-Oct-13 15:21:48

Having said I never want to see anyone's wedding video, I really do want to see the bride on the swing in slow motion. And Bruce's shoes grin

moogy1a Mon 28-Oct-13 15:23:29

They must surely have posted highlights ( of which the slow mo swing would be one) on some social interweb type thing.
Please please point us in the right direction

limitedperiodonly Mon 28-Oct-13 15:26:17

Cerisier it was really sad. But she and her mum didn't think they'd done anything wrong.

Her mum was a nice woman but steely in pursuit of what she wanted. My friend was the same, but minus the humour that softened, or rather masked, her mum's attitude.

They made him trot the story out to me once as well and it made for a funny anecdote the way he told it. But I suspect it was as uncomfortable for him to tell as it was for me to listen to.

My friend later dated someone her mum deeply disapproved of. He wasn't Jewish and he wasn't a doctor or an accountant so there was no point him converting shock.

He was a chippy and her mum once had a stagey conversation with me to try to spell out to my friend just how unsuitable that was.

I listened and then said in my most pious voice: 'But Audrey, Jesus was a carpenter.'

At least Audrey had the grace to say: 'Touché.' grin

BTW he was no Messiah but she might have been a Mary Magdalene. They were using each other for hot sex grin

moogy1a Mon 28-Oct-13 15:27:38

Is it anything like this?
footage.shutterstock.com/clip-2356226-stock-footage-bride-and-groom-play-on-swing-at-their-wedding.html
but of course with panpipes.
Which power of love was it?
Frankie goes to Hollywood or Jennifer Rush?
In fact no, I hope it was Huey Lewis and the News ( made more famous by being used in a murder scene in American Psycho!)

SicknSpan Mon 28-Oct-13 15:28:17

I was given good advice by my step mum regarding wedding videos. Their only use is when you have your first real marital argument, stick the video on and watch it for a while and the argument will fade away. Worked too.

Sorry you had to sit through it!

limitedperiodonly Mon 28-Oct-13 15:30:02

ipswichwitch inappropriate first dances - Elvis Costello's Alison. My friends didn't realise it was about a jealous man fantasising about shooting his ex-girlfriend.

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock Mon 28-Oct-13 15:34:35

I'd pay good money for a pan pipe version of 'Where the Wild Roses Grow' by Cave and Kylie grin

Mittensonkittens Mon 28-Oct-13 15:35:34

Jennifer rush. Sadly.

ipswichwitch Mon 28-Oct-13 15:36:59

ipswichwitch inappropriate first dances - Elvis Costello's Alison. My friends didn't realise it was about a jealous man fantasising about shooting his ex-girlfriend

aaaaaaaahahahahahaha! do these people not listen to the lyrics first limitedperiodonly!?!?!?!? T
That said I was at a wedding where the first dance was to "every breath you take" by The Police, which the b&g thought was terribly romantic until someone pointed out (wasn't me!) that its a song about stalking someone!

Anyone who insists on full attention is probably on glue.
who knew there were so many gluezillas about!
you people are killing me grin

Sharpkat Mon 28-Oct-13 15:40:13

Oh god this reminds me of when my mother made my fiance sit through the entire video of my first holy communion complete with panpipes and the whole church service plus meal after.

He nodded politely all the way through it as I cringed in the corner.

She thought he had thoroughly enjoyed it so followed it up with the one of my Confirmation.

6 hours of his life he will never get back. No wonder we split up. shockhmmconfused

Bumblequeen Mon 28-Oct-13 15:45:55

2.5 hours!

Our wedding DVD was 30-40 minutes long capturing key moments of the day. I showed this to my immediate family and bridesmaids.

lljkk Mon 28-Oct-13 17:00:12

I am fairly certain that I've never watched my own wedding video.

sheldor Mon 28-Oct-13 17:03:51

I Had to watch an guaduation video(as much as i love dps family it was
boring).Yanbu

Sparklingbrook Mon 28-Oct-13 17:09:22

A graduation video sheldor? How long does that go on for? confused

We didn't want a wedding video, but MIL did.
She got her sisters "friend" lover to do one for us.
I think it is still in her house smile

cocoleBOO Mon 28-Oct-13 17:38:11

'Lightly tapping bongos' <dies laughing>

My mums cousin videoed our wedding. I taped the X-Files over it without ever watching it.

SamG76 Mon 28-Oct-13 17:41:10

Limitedperiodonly -

Sounds traumatic, but how can uncle take the dad's part? The dad doesn't have a part. I've seen non-Jewish parents standing under the chuppah at orthodox weddings, so I suspect something has got lost in the telling.

I find the point about having to marry a doctor or accountant dated and not very funny. If anything, the argument would be that as a doctor or lawyer he wouldn't need to convert because he'd be so suitable in other ways....

MaitreKarlsson Mon 28-Oct-13 18:08:28

Oh no OP. I feel for you! We were put in a similar position over a wedding that we flew abroad to attend. Gorgeous wedding in many ways, but with one exception: a dreadful live solo from a male friend of the bride. Appalling. Off tune...bad song...just car crash. My DH was best man and struggled to contain his horror (but did) despite me catching his eye. Fast forward to four days later when, in a special dinner with the happy couple, we were shown the complete video (2 hours) with two...TWO...rewinds of the song. Being the pathetic spineless Brits that we were we gushed over how great he was and how lovely it had all been. grin

limitedperiodonly Mon 28-Oct-13 18:18:09

SamG76 I don't know. I'm not Jewish. I've attended only one Jewish wedding and wasn't paying that much attention so have no idea of the role fathers play, which is why I deliberately didn't talk about 'giving away', because that's not my place or experience.

I'm Catholic but non-practising. My friend - Karen - was Jewish but non-practicising either.

You might find the point about having to marry a doctor or accountant dated and not very funny but it was valid in 1987 in Essex and might still be.

As it happened, Karen's non-Jewish dad was a jeweller, as was her uncle, which was how he came to meet Audrey.

None of them are exclusively Jewish occupations, just as being a docker or a publican are exclusively Catholic occupations. But that tends to be the way things used to go.

Given where I come from, I expect you to understand that I have had a number of Jewish boyfriends, including one very significant one whose mother didn't like me.

I don't know why. There was no danger that I wanted to wed her boy. He was fun, but I had better prospects.

sheldor Mon 28-Oct-13 18:23:57

Haha i don't know but it felt like forever.Must have been a long time though as i was thinking ,oh god please be finished,please be finished.You had to watch the mum walking about with the camera for ages,then talking to her ex though you couldn't hear anything they were saying due to other graduates and thier families being there.My dp was lucky he went to the pub that evening.I couldn't get out of it as i didn't want to appear rude

sheldor Mon 28-Oct-13 18:28:48

Haha just noticed i put guaduation.I forgot how to actually spell blush That must mean a migraines on the way.Oh the joys

RooRooTaToot Mon 28-Oct-13 18:41:11

Why do people inflict their videos on others?

Not as bad as yours (no fecking panpipes), but when I was with my previous partner we were on our way out for the night and on the way we had to pop by a friend of theirs to drop something off.

Bear in mind I had never met this friend of my partner's before...

We were offered a cuppa and once trapped with it on the sofa, we were hit with the words "we must show you the video from our holiday!" (Must?!?)

90 minutes of footage of them getting drunk and sunbathing. We kept making noises about having to go, but were shushed with "you just HAVE to see this next bit. It's SO funny!"

The funny moment? The bloke, who I'd never met, had entered the campsite's talent competition with another 4 blokes I didn't know and did a routine to The Full Monty. 5 middle-aged, lobster-red drunken men jiggling to Hot Chocolate. Shudders

I have never seen them since.

ZingWantsCake Mon 28-Oct-13 18:41:57

mitten

I can't believe my silly joke wasn't far from the truth!shock

did you have to watch back the quiz itself? grin

Cerisier Mon 28-Oct-13 21:10:15

limited your friend and her DM both sound dreadful. Not surprised you are no longer friends.

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