To wish ITV was obliterated from history

(76 Posts)
MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 26-Oct-13 15:03:32

Ok yeah, I have RAGING pmt, but I fucking despise ITV. It's just run by cunts and watched by cunts. I'm sure it didn't use to be as bad as it is now? Daytime TV cunts, reality tv cunts. Cunt Factor. News at Cunt. As for the win no fee, bingo, money shop, over 50s car insurance.


MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 26-Oct-13 15:03:51

Oh hang on...Star Wars has just started....

Astarael Sat 26-Oct-13 16:13:42

You forgot adverts for over 50s life plans where you're pretty much guaranteed to pay in loads more than you'll ever get out but you get a Parker pen so it's all ok.

usualsuspect Sat 26-Oct-13 16:14:42

I watch itv, guess that makes me a cunt.

farrowandbawl Sat 26-Oct-13 16:21:07


I know what you mean, but they do make up for it every now and again by having Star Wars on.

Highlight of my week for the next 4 weeks now.

ringaringarosy Sat 26-Oct-13 16:22:13

dh hates itv too,i grew up on itv,bbc was for posh people and southerners, according to my mum.

Bowlersarm Sat 26-Oct-13 16:22:19

Don't they have Downton? Enough said.


Because Dinner Date. That is all.

(The rest is an utter turdfest though)

I forgive ITV - but only because of Poirot.
The rest of the time I watch other stuff on other channels.

thebody Sat 26-Oct-13 16:27:29

there's tons of shit on the Bbc too.

MrsBertMacklin Sat 26-Oct-13 16:27:54

Tricky one. YANBU for the reasons listed, but on the other hand, if obliterated from history, we would be without DangerMouse, Count Duckula and Kate Thornton would probably be ruining Strictly.

ParsingFright Sat 26-Oct-13 16:28:43


Hands off Morse!

squoosh Sat 26-Oct-13 16:28:53

I think ITV have really upped their game recently, in the drama department at least. Broadchurch, The Bletchely Circle, Marchlands, Appropriate Adult etc.

tobiasfunke Sat 26-Oct-13 16:29:50

CITV is sooooo much better than CBBC. It has The Aquabats fgs.

LOLisNOTaPunctuationMark Sat 26-Oct-13 16:29:53

Oh hang on...Star Wars has just started....

Hahahahahaha! Star Wars makes everything okay. Always.

TV is shit in general at the moment.

BBC1 are showing bloody Hyacinth Bucket in the afternoons. I had forgotten how awful it was. BBC2 are showing Cagney and Lacey and Allo Allo. confused

As a child we weren't allowed ITV and especially not Tiswas.

TV is shit in general at the moment
You're watching the wrong TV. My planner is crammed full of wonderful stuff; True Blood, Homeland, Walking Dead, Elementary, Chicago Fire, x factor The Newsroom, Haven...

squoosh Sat 26-Oct-13 16:45:28

American TV especially is going though a bit of a golden age.

thebody Sat 26-Oct-13 16:59:11

oh Sparkling!! why not? meanies wanting better for their children.grin

mine let me watch utter shite all day!

thebody DH got his pocket money on a Saturday morning and was allowed to go and but sweets and comics, then back home to watch Tiswas. shock

I had to watch Noel Tidybeard and poshpaws. sad Or 'go out and get some fresh air'.


Crowler Sat 26-Oct-13 17:07:01

Hang on. Wasn't Broadchurch on ITV...?

Catmint Sat 26-Oct-13 17:12:26

Are you me, Sparklingbrook?

Waves at itsokitsjustmydeath>

Was it the same for you Catmint? sad

ppeatfruit Sat 26-Oct-13 17:16:44

Sparkling My parents didn't even get an effin' TV till the late 60s deliberately too. I hated them for it we just felt soo left out at school sad Yet bizzarrely it turned out nearly the whole family earns it's crust from <whisper> ITV; there's a lot of good on it. TG for the remote so I can silence the adverts.

I think we were the last people ever to get a video recorder. sad

Latara Sat 26-Oct-13 17:20:39

I like the X factor....

CiderBomb Sat 26-Oct-13 17:20:53

Broadchurch and Downton Abbey are on ITV so I can forgive them for that alone.

Everything else is shit though, especially anything hosted by Philip Schofield, a more arrogant cock I've yet to encounter.

ppeatfruit Sat 26-Oct-13 17:26:18

Oh do you remember the shorter fatter video tapes BMes or something? I can't remember what they were called but they came out before the bigger ones and the players went straight out of use. (This is aging me!),


Catmint Sat 26-Oct-13 17:29:58

Yes it was Sparkling, right down to being the last to get a VCR.
I also always had to have sensible shoes.
Now I am a grown up and my parents are retired, they buy stuff like there's no tomorrow, including impractical shoes for DD.

We are v similar Catmint. Dad is Mr gadget now with his HD telly and the full Sky package. shock

ppeatfruit Sat 26-Oct-13 17:39:39

Yes as catmint said Betamax. Snap with the sensible shoes. Mind you I do have lovely feet so they were right;though I didn't think so at the time of course .

I had really narrow feet so Clarks would bring out two (if I was lucky) of the most hideous pairs out. Usually lace up and clompy.

meekenough Sat 26-Oct-13 17:45:29

I agree to some extent, I think a lot of ITV programmes are vapid compared to other channels. It annoys me and makes me consider if its a larger symptom of the stereotype,
Yarksher' peepul' = not as clever as everyone else.(I am yorkshire it pisses me off)

However calendar news is a god send, BBC news on the North is a disgrace you'd think it was purely made up of York and Leeds, I am from Souf' Yarkshire' and recently in Rotherham there has been an inexplicable and horrific wave of crime, which has contained 2 serial rapists, 4 murders at least, 1 armed roberry, 1 police siege and yesterday 4 men drove into a bank and robbed it. Little or no reporting.
Calendar news does feature my neck of the woods so I would like that to stay or BBC get better.

GreenVelvet Sat 26-Oct-13 17:50:08

Malcolm Tucker's Mistress, you deserve a medal. If only you were a journalist, instead of Malcolm Tucker's mistress, you could spin out a decent article out of that one.

<slight problem though, I might lose Real Housewives (admittedly tedious repeats at the moment>.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 26-Oct-13 19:58:22

I forgot about Broadchurch. It is acceptable, but only because David Tennant and Olyvia Coleman are in it! And it was much better in the 1980s than it is today, the kid's programmes were better than the shite they now put on their prime time tv!

Louis Walsh CUNT. Gary Barlow CUNT. Dermot O'Leary CUNT.

See, it's just pushed me into being verbally abusive about Gary Barlow now sad

Crowler Sat 26-Oct-13 19:59:43

Broadchurch was amazing, IMO. I love Olyvia Coleman. Thanks for teaching me to spell it properly (or improperly, as the case may be).

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 26-Oct-13 20:14:32


Mandy2003 Sat 26-Oct-13 20:46:58

I would guess that I might watch at most one ITV programme per week, so YANBU!

ariadneoliver Sat 26-Oct-13 21:14:24

YABU. There'd be no Poirot or Whitechapel.

Ifancyashandy Sat 26-Oct-13 21:26:10

I've worked for ITV. I don't think I'm a cunt.

<<backs away. Slowly>>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 26-Oct-13 21:39:20

Pardon? You WHAT?

Figgygal Sat 26-Oct-13 21:40:56

Apart from x factor I can't think if a thing I've watched on itv for years and not bothered with it this year either.

Yanbu it's utter gutter shite

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 26-Oct-13 21:48:10

Figgygal, I want to love you, but you just said you ONLY watch X Twactor. How can we overcome this issue?

Ifancyashandy Sat 26-Oct-13 21:51:23

I'm slightly scared. Mainly because I've worked on a number of the genres / time slots / programmes you've mentioned.

But I've also helped raise millions for charity. Does that help?!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 26-Oct-13 21:55:50

Did it help Jimmy Savile?!

ForalltheSaints Sat 26-Oct-13 22:17:42

If X factor and Britain's Got (little) talent was cancelled I'd be delighted. If Simon Cowell the man who pursued another man's wife never had anything to do with tv again I'd be even happier.

lemonforyourlime Sat 26-Oct-13 22:41:28

I do work for ITV.

So I am banning you. Stop watching it. In fact NEVER watch it again.

I know its tricky to understand but that remote thingy you have gives you the freedom to watch whatever you like.

We wont miss you !

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 26-Oct-13 22:58:30

Are you Louis Walsh?

Darkesteyes Sat 26-Oct-13 23:04:57

Really enjoying the Drama channel at the mo Theyve been showing 2.4 Children every weeknight and are currently rerunning Waking the Dead at 9pm on Saturday nights. I HATE all that reality shite.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Sat 26-Oct-13 23:07:32


Just get Star Wars on dvd.

JustAnotherFucker Sat 26-Oct-13 23:23:00

I work for ITV a fair bit too and they are much nicer than the BBC if you do my job.

Haven't they won channel of the year recently? Some of the drama mentioned has been fab and of course it is a totally FREE service which no-one is forced to watch grin

DiseasesOfTheSheep Sat 26-Oct-13 23:27:37


And wasn't Woof! on ITV??! My childhood would've been incomplete without it!

Darkesteyes Sat 26-Oct-13 23:31:44

JustAnother If they put Samuel West in everything my tv would be permanently glued to that channel thlsmile

Samuel West as in Timothy West and Prunella Scales' son? Who was Leonard Bast in Howard's End? What's he in?

MuffCakes Sat 26-Oct-13 23:39:05

Noo I love celeb juice, everything else can jog on.

Audilover Sat 26-Oct-13 23:42:02

Other than the odd champions league football match we don't watch itv at all in our house. We're not boycotting it or anything there's just never anything of interest to us on there that we want to watch.

Darkesteyes Sun 27-Oct-13 00:23:46

Georgian hes done loads.

KatoPotato Sun 27-Oct-13 00:26:42

I hate hate hate ITV. But I like dinner date...

I cannot bear the live audience studio shows with swinging cameras and clapping crowds with their big baw faces and their going out tops on!!!

Viviennemary Sun 27-Oct-13 00:31:00

BBC is worse with all their handouts of our licence money to their friends. And also points of view. When they read out the letters and more or less say well hard luck we've read your letters out and that's your lot. We're changing nothing.

Well, well, well. Thanks, Darkesteyes.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 27-Oct-13 06:32:01

Mmmmmmmmmmm Sam West!

<<rubs thighs>>

Howsuper Sun 27-Oct-13 07:53:02

Oh each channel has it's strengths:

BBC1 - Dramas (news is SHITE - WTF??)
BBC2 - Bake Off
ITV1 - X Factor (Yeah I love it, what you gonna do about it? <squares up to detractors>)
C4 - Documentaries and news
C5 - Umm...umm, well, there's...ummmmmmmmmm

HowlingTrap Sun 27-Oct-13 08:08:56

joking aside, I can't believe you made a comparable comment between a poster and jimmy saville, an apology is in order.

ppeatfruit Sun 27-Oct-13 08:23:28

Agree Howling That was a completely uncalled for comment.

There is the remote and none of us have to watch what we don't want to IMO adverts are useful because you can get a drink in the breaks grin I love Strictly but it does go on and on and on......

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 27-Oct-13 08:46:26

Oh for fuck sake. SORRY! Feel free to report it and I shall wait here for the ITV Police to come and arrest me.


HowlingTrap Sun 27-Oct-13 08:52:10

the thing is had some one made a rape joke of some sort would you have let it slide under the radar Malcom? genuinely interested.

On here you'd get torn a new one, no pun intended.

Howsuper Sun 27-Oct-13 09:09:51

Malcolm - there's being 'dry/funny/flippant' and there's 'incredibly aggressive'. I'm not even talking about the Savile comment.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lemonforyourlime Sun 27-Oct-13 10:02:37

we dont have any ITV police malcolmtuckersmistress we could send one of our cunts over though ?

Mitzyme Sun 27-Oct-13 10:18:52

No no. Try writing to the BBC to complain about racism on one of their programmes. I swear they have turned patronising into an art form.
They now are truly cunts.

Tallaween Sun 27-Oct-13 10:47:19

My dad still has his Betamax. It still works too.

We didn't get a VHS player until I was nearly 16! (1995)

No sky either. I rember the excitement of channel 5! A fifth channel!!

We used to watch Childrens Ward and Home & Away on ITV as kids. But we weren't big telly watchers.

I can't think of the last time I watched ITV now...

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 27-Oct-13 12:40:42

lemonforyourlime as way of apologising for my earlier comments I wish to save your people the trouble of tracking me down, and I shall hand myself in at my nearest Cunt Station. Or as other people call it, "ASDA".

lemonforyourlime Sun 27-Oct-13 15:49:39

We appreciate that MalcolmTuckersMistress and look forward to seeing you.

And and to show there's no hard feelings I'll see if we can look out a Loose Women DVD box set for you.

joydivisionovengloves Sun 27-Oct-13 20:25:50

I don't watch ITV much but I do know they really shouldn't be allowed near football.

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