To stay with my parents next week

(57 Posts)
FortyDoorsToNowhere Fri 25-Oct-13 23:58:18

Pil are taking DC on holiday, DH is working nights ( 6pm-6am) so for the first time ever I will be in my home alone.

I am so scared, but got no rational reasons why.

My parents have said if I feel that way to come home for the week.

I am in 2 mind as surely a 28 year old married women with 2 children should be able to sleep alone in her own house.

What would you do.

pookamoo Sat 26-Oct-13 00:00:14

might be a nice break to go home for a few days anyway?

SweetSkull Sat 26-Oct-13 00:02:00

This would be my dream.

CoffeeTea103 Sat 26-Oct-13 00:02:05

Nice to go home, you probably wouldn't sleep well alone at home

SweetSkull Sat 26-Oct-13 00:02:26

I mean, my dream coming true.

defineme Sat 26-Oct-13 00:03:47

It would never occur to me to feel scared. I would be taking charge of the tv with relish, inviting a few friends over, catching up with stuff. I suppose if I felt nervous I'd bring the cats in the bedroom! I do have a burglar alarm that we set at night..perhaps that's why I feel fine, but I did before we had it too.
I think you might feel empowered if you do it.
people all over the country have no choice but to be alone every night-you'll be fine.
I'm sorry to say this, but going to your parents is a tiny bit tragic (unless there's some awful secret that explains your fear).

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sat 26-Oct-13 00:03:58

My parents live 10 minute walking distance so see them a lot.

I just feel so pathetic for yet another reason which is not logical.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Sat 26-Oct-13 00:05:16

I would relish the thought of the house to myself so wouldnt need to go to my folks (which incidentally is only about seven doors down), but wouldnt think it.odd for anyone else to do differently.

notanyanymore Sat 26-Oct-13 00:06:07

I would!!! (and do and I'm friggin 30!)
Hate being in the house on my own at night with the DC, hate it even more to be in the house without them.
Nothing to feel ashamed about op.

Onesleeptillwembley Sat 26-Oct-13 00:07:15

Ex was forces, so spent a lot of time on my own. You just get used to it, and then get to enjoy it.

awakemysoull Sat 26-Oct-13 00:07:25

I know how you feel. I'm scared when I'm in the house myself (especially after reading the woo threads in here hmm) and if I had the chance I'd be off to my mums to get well looked after wink

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sat 26-Oct-13 00:08:09

Boring really, met a wonderful man feel in love moved in with him, had 2 DC then his contract changed at work so he had to work nights.

So it has never been a time where I have had a house to myself.

thehorridestmumintheworld Sat 26-Oct-13 00:10:45

My dh works nights and I do feel a bit nervous sometimes, I normally check the door is locked about 3 times. But I find it goes off after a bit and I am fine.

AgentZigzag Sat 26-Oct-13 00:13:00

Once you've thought you're going to be freaked out then you'll be freaked out.

Did you ever live on your own before your DH?

It's good to get to 'know' yourself for a while, especially if your parents are only 10 mins down the road.

What is it that's shitting you up? Ghostly goings on or mad axe murderers? (sorry to put things in your mind like grin)

What about giving it a couple of nights? Have some things planned so you're not twiddling your thumbs, try to rationalise any noises/creepy thoughts etc.

Have you had any problems with anxiety/intrusive doom scenario thoughts before?

I'm sure there'll be MNs who are up if you need them to reassure you.

Unless I've read the creepy threads on here I love being on my own, pleasing yourself has its plus points for sure.

thehorridestmumintheworld Sat 26-Oct-13 00:13:44

Also I can lie in bed and MN phone at 12.15am if I want to!

LittleRobots Sat 26-Oct-13 00:15:15

I really had no idea that grown women would feel like this! Not meant as an insult, just not the case in my experience (husband often away for work, I lived alone for a while and houseshared after uni.)

If parents are only ten mins away I'd stay home but have their phone number to hand should you get anxious. Bit silly to uproot down the road. The first night will seem strange but it will get easier. If this is his new shift pattern you'll need to adjust to it.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sat 26-Oct-13 00:19:59

I have never lived alone.

I think it's the fear of the unknown and being alone.

pigsDOfly Sat 26-Oct-13 00:52:45

If you'd be happier go and stay with your parents. There's nothing to feel embarrassed about. If that's how you feel, that's how you feel.

Having said that, it might be a good idea to give it a go. You might find you enjoy the freedom and the house to yourself for a change. Maybe you just need to get used to it.

I live on my own and it never occurs to me to feel nervous at night.

HicDraconis Sat 26-Oct-13 03:57:04

I would adore a few days on my own smile long baths, TV in bed, eating chocolate without having to hide in the pantry from the boys, sitting in the garden reading ... I'd stay put and enjoy it!

redcaryellowcar Sat 26-Oct-13 04:05:08

I would go to my parents, enjoy being cooked for, they live a bit nearer the sea, so would enjoy some walks on the beach, generally a good time to catch up with them, i am not overly concerned about being in the house on my own, woukd just prefer the company, and being v lazy, someone else to make the tea, my dh tries but as a non tea drinker its often not quite right!

Amy106 Sat 26-Oct-13 04:27:22

I would probably try it for one night and then decide.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 27-Oct-13 17:30:37

well the DC are gone and now DH has.

The house is spotless and I just opened a bottle of wine, hope I can manage to stay home. If not it's good to hear IANBU.

AgentZigzag Sun 27-Oct-13 17:36:39

You'll be fine smile

The worst bit is the noise when they come back after you've got used to the peace and quiet and being able to have your own thoughts again grin

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 27-Oct-13 17:48:52


Not in work tomorrow either so imagine that amazing lie in.

NotYoMomma Sun 27-Oct-13 17:49:47

ive done this before for a weekend it was bloody amazing grin

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sun 27-Oct-13 18:37:53

I love it, first time was weird but when DH goes away I go to bed early after watching whatever I want on TV especially all those crap programmes I feel silly watching when he is here, I eat what and when I feel like it, in front of the TV. If I wake up in the night I switch on the lamp and read. Its great. love coming home from work to a house as tidy as I left it. only my washing to do, bliss.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sun 27-Oct-13 18:39:02

oh the lie ins, at weekends I get up, make coffee and toast then get back in bed and read until I fall asleep again. ahhhhh

Grumpywino Sun 27-Oct-13 18:42:11

Yabu, I have lived alone for ten years and love it. I refuse to give up that bit of independence and cannot understand what on earth is bothering you. Bliss is closing the front door on the rest of the world and cherishing my space.

teacher123 Sun 27-Oct-13 18:44:38

DH works nights every few weeks, I don't even notice really now! I don't get freaked out, but I won't watch scary things on the telly!

LittleRobots Sun 27-Oct-13 18:47:43

Oh yes! I gave up watching spooks!

Beautifulbabyboy Sun 27-Oct-13 19:49:15

Don't worry OP, I am a total and utter wimp. Aged 35 have spent grand total of 2 nights in a house on my own in whole life.... Currently moving from a terraced house to a detached house... which is increasing the fear factor in my eyes!! DH hates it that we can currently hear the neighbours on either side....I love it!!

TillyTotter1 Sun 27-Oct-13 19:56:49

Take it as an excuse to go for a night out with a friend, even just to catch a late film or a wee drink - by the time you get home you'll be so knackered you'll sleep straight away smile

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 27-Oct-13 20:11:07

I now feel lonely, missing DH and the DC.

This house is too quite, it's like a death eater has came and sucked all the life and soul out of this house.

gordyslovesheep Sun 27-Oct-13 20:17:31

then stick MTV on, pour another glass and do some nude dancing grin

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 27-Oct-13 20:20:09

lol. Thank god for MN

Beautifulbabyboy Sun 27-Oct-13 21:50:49

�������� Gordy.

whois Mon 28-Oct-13 00:41:01

Think it's a bit strange to be scared of your wok home, but if you'd be happier going to your parents then do that and have a nice holiday week!

smupcakes Mon 28-Oct-13 00:46:26

I really think you need to stay at home. I'm really surprised at all the posters who are afraid to be in their own homes alone.. You will be fine!smile

AnandaTimeIn Mon 28-Oct-13 01:15:05

Am a single mum (and he is 22 now, in and out all the time, he has his own key)....

No way do I ever feel afraid to be alone. Just lock the doors ;-)

Actually I love being on my own no crap exes or family to stress me out grin

nennypops Mon 28-Oct-13 07:43:47

Another one here who loves having the house to myself.

Chottie Mon 28-Oct-13 10:30:48

I would go home. I bet your mum can't wait for you to go home so she can spoil you! smile

scarevola Mon 28-Oct-13 10:46:18

I've lived on my own, and DH works away a lot. Before DC, it never bothered me.

And being alone doesn't exactly bother me now. But there was one night when all DC had sleepovers and DH away, and it was seriously weird to be home alone overnight again for the first time since DC1 was born. Just too quiet. But then they all went away for a long weekend, and I loved the tranquility.

I think you get used to a certain level of other occupants.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 28-Oct-13 20:15:17

Today has been weird.

Got out of bed around 9ish a hot cup of coffee, read, had lamb steaks ( nobody likes lamb in this house) read a bit more in a hot bubbly bath all to myself. MN a bit, Facebook, watched a film.

I think I am starting to enjoy this.

IamInvisible Mon 28-Oct-13 20:21:33

I like having the house to myself, especially the bed.

DH has been gone for 6 weeks on Wednesday, he will be back in January. I do have the DSes at home (16&18) but they are often out. I have settled in to a nice little routine now. I do miss DH like crazy, don't get me wrong, but I am not scared about being on my own.

Isthisstormcomingorwhat Tue 29-Oct-13 17:01:27

I used to be really scared of being home alone. I wasn't so bad in our old small flat in London, think I found it comforting that I could hear the neighbours and there were always people passing by on the street. However the we moved to our current house (detached and rural location) and I hated it when DP was away.

Shortly after we moved, DP's job changed meaning he was away 3/4 nights per week. At first I used to be terrified and struggled to sleep, but gradually I got better. I wouldn't say I enjoy being home alone but I got to the point where I just got on with it and wasn't living in fear.

My tips are:

- I reminded myself my house IS secure, good doors and windows and we have an alarm with panic buttons next to my bed

- keep your mind occupied - when I wasn't busy my mind would play tricks on me. Do housework, watch TV, or set yourself some projects such as sorting out your wardrobe, do exercise videos

- phone friends

-focus on all the positives of having the house to yourself

Good luck

everlong Tue 29-Oct-13 19:10:35

Lamb for breakfast?!?

everlong Tue 29-Oct-13 19:12:44

I am a bit of a wimp OP too.
I have to go around checking everywhere is locked about 27 times
I find a large G and T helps before bed.

kali110 Tue 29-Oct-13 19:22:50

Yanbu. Iv always hated being in house alone at night

Hulababy Tue 29-Oct-13 19:29:41

I'm a wuss when I have to stay at home on my own at night, and only mildly better when I have DD for company. But we were burgled whilst we were in bed not that long ago - so that has made things far worse, even though I know that we have bought and had fitted much better locks and security, etc these dayys.

thegreylady Tue 29-Oct-13 19:41:38

I'd be scared too but I would make myself do it I think.I really hate being alone in the house at night.I read until I am so tired I can't keep my eyes open.I have a nightlight outside my room and the mobile close to my hand.

thegreylady Tue 29-Oct-13 19:43:36

Did dh come and get in with you once he had finished his night shift?

Xmasbaby11 Tue 29-Oct-13 19:45:14

You should do whatever you feel like. Some people like having company - I know I do. YANBU!

FortyDoorsToNowhere Tue 29-Oct-13 21:26:50

DH went to bed around 8, so a whole hour to cuddle.

Lamb was for dinner.

Came home from work to no housework, bought myself a DVD and crashed out.

Can't believe the quietness in this house. It's lovely.

AgentZigzag Tue 29-Oct-13 21:33:00

So glad it's going well Forty smile

Isthisstormcomingorwhat Wed 30-Oct-13 10:28:33

Glad it's going well. Sometimes it is good to do things that scare you! I was really scared of driving until recently but forced myself to book some refresher lessons, forced myself to make a few long trips on the motorway and hey- presto my fear has now gone and the freedom is amazing!

RoxanneReidsChafingFishnets Wed 30-Oct-13 10:33:05

I'm alone every night when the child is in bed.

Its shit tbh but I wouldn't go back home!

A teen, a preteen and 2 under 3's live there. Now that is scary grin

FortyDoorsToNowhere Wed 30-Oct-13 21:36:42

I wish i didn't phone the DC today, of course they are having an amazing time.

I miss them so much, I can't wait for them to come home. Felt quite tearful this evening.

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