To be so fucking sick of cooking food that my DS's don't eat...

(87 Posts)
GoofyIsACow Wed 23-Oct-13 17:55:34

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh

Is all

angry

FlapJackOLantern Wed 23-Oct-13 17:56:35

What do you do when they won't eat it?

moogy1a Wed 23-Oct-13 17:57:22

what was it?

ancientbuchanan Wed 23-Oct-13 17:58:33

How old are they?

moogalicious Wed 23-Oct-13 17:59:06

How old are they?

<waves to fellow moog>

lifeinthefastlane1 Wed 23-Oct-13 17:59:36

welcome to my world what a pain it is! got a lovely shepherds pie sat here getting faffed about with grrrr!

Sirzy Wed 23-Oct-13 17:59:48

Depends how old and what you are making really.

YANBU. Don't do it!

SinisterBuggyMonth Wed 23-Oct-13 18:12:07

Yanbu

MrsBucketxx Wed 23-Oct-13 18:13:40

Yanbu I feel your pain too.

Even stuff my dc have eaten lots of times before.

ohmymimi Wed 23-Oct-13 18:15:29

Are you Ria Parkinson by any chance?

CaptainSweatPants Wed 23-Oct-13 18:16:58

was it oysters grin

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Wed 23-Oct-13 18:19:26

Yep. I used to love cooking before I had children.

Anyway, I've decided the only way forward is not to give a shit - I make healthy food, put it on the table, and the rest is up to them. Basically take it or leave it, just don't whinge about it!

And no pudding unless you've eaten a decent amount/been polite etc. Probably bribery, but never mind.

MoominsYonisAreScary Wed 23-Oct-13 18:20:07

Me too, if one its it the other two wont. Today it was lasagne

MoominsYonisAreScary Wed 23-Oct-13 18:21:49

And what fruitsalad said

RedPencils Wed 23-Oct-13 18:28:42

I go through for phases of 'thinks what I've made, eat or go hungry' but I always cave in the end and go back to eleventy million variations of the same meal.
I hate family cooking.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 23-Oct-13 18:32:15

I'm hardcore with along with FruitSalad. Eat it or not, I don't care, but there's nothing else and no whinging. Makes life much easier. Yes I try to cook meals they will each eat at least a good part of, but I will not tolerate silliness about foods I know they have eaten in the past.

specialsubject Wed 23-Oct-13 18:37:29

house not restaurant. sparkle has it in one.

sherbetpips Wed 23-Oct-13 18:44:20

I am hard core with eating now, sick of him rejecting different foods dependent on the day. He knows he has to just get on and eat it now and I have conceded that he hates mash potato and roast potato so I don't stick it on the plate anymore (although I am adept at hiding mash).

MaryZombie Wed 23-Oct-13 18:45:29

Just mark time.

Mine are teenagers, and will eat anything and everything.

Now I'm just sick of cooking.

HappyMummyOfOne Wed 23-Oct-13 18:49:47

I dont cook foods we dont like so dont have this but know friends do as they believe it will make their children less fussy. It doesnt, just means life is harder and more unpleasant.

CustardOmlet Wed 23-Oct-13 18:53:42

Mine won't eat banana. He clearly does not appreciate the suffering I go through to peal that banana, the rancid smell and dirty mush on my hands, all for him to reject it. I thought all children liked banana?

bearsmum123 Wed 23-Oct-13 19:06:54

I'm a massive believer in not banning something from ever entering a kids line of sight again just because they announce they hate it now. Its a good exercise in learning to get a grip around foods you think you don't like, to try something, politely decline and eat around it is as much a table skill as using a fork IMO.
Cant be arsed begging him to try but wont watch soppy antics either (cant eat that cos it touched a bean....)

Topseyt Wed 23-Oct-13 19:09:15

I am of the take it or leave it camp too. In this house they have what I provide or they get nothing. That is the choice.

When they were younger I had to harden up when they whinged about what was provided. This is not a restaurant. Oddly enough, none of them has starved yet. grin

bearsmum123 Wed 23-Oct-13 19:10:50

Read something recently where someone said each child in their family is allowed three foods they absolutely don't like and don't get given, any new ones and they have to take another off the list.
Can't remember who said it but I think its a good idea ion theory.

3asAbird Wed 23-Oct-13 19:12:15

feel your pain my 3 are fussy

lunch made raveli on toast they liek pasta they like tomato sauce they like toast-would they eat it.

Tonight did cheesey pasta with mixed veg and sliced ham hardly touched it picked out few veggies, asked for extra grated cheese and few vegetables yet they like pasta and they like cheese.

unless its chips with ketchup or roast they not interested.

They not totally i love with pizza, hardly touch potatoes they sometimes like spag bol/lasagne which we dont have much due to money also they like a mild curry with rice but finding they getting pickier and feel stuck on budget and time.

they 7, 4 and 2.5

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Wed 23-Oct-13 19:16:41

It does make children less fussy happy.

Your kids aren't less fussy because they don't fuss, they have nothing to fuss about. I know people who don't make their kids try things (because they don't try things) and it is really irritating cooking for them. I sometimes get fussing and whinging but it's worth it when they ask for something that declared yuk the week before.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 23-Oct-13 19:17:18

But I do appreciate how hard it is to disengage, and to not take food rejection personally. It took me about three years to get to this point, after two very hard years with ds2's eating.

If you can take a step back and take all the drama out of mealtimes it will help. I try very very hard to never raise my voice now, to include them in our meal planning, and to remind them very gently at the start of that meal that I don't mind if they don't eat but that they musn't play with it or be silly about it (pulling faces, fake retching etc). We also now clear the table after 30 minutes - there's no going back to food over an extended period, you eat at the table with the family. There are no snacks outside of meals times except the one I bring to school pick up. I also try not to make pudding (when we have it) as conditional on eating the main as I try and plan it into the meal in a balanced way (usually fruit based or yoghurt/home made egg custard). But I will happily use pudding as a way of gently encouraging them to eat two or three mouthfuls more!

SatinSandals Wed 23-Oct-13 19:18:52

I am not running a restaurant. I buy it, cook it and serve it. They have the simple choice to eat it or leave it. I don't do alternatives and I don't do snacks. If they are then hungry it is their problem and I just sound mildly surprised as in 'well you would be, you should have eaten your dinner'. They won't starve.

MoominMammasHandbag Wed 23-Oct-13 19:26:08

Yep, I'm another one who won't pander to people being fussy. In our house you eat what's on the table or possibly you are allowed to adapt it yourself, eg you can refuse the pasta sauce but you have to grate your own cheese as an alternative. No way would I cook another meal though.
I do accommodate genuine long term dislikes; DS has always hated Chinese type flavours. So we have our Chinese when he is away at Uni, not when he's home. And I conceded the mashed potato battle a long time ago.

Louise1956 Wed 23-Oct-13 19:28:47

I just give them things they will eat. it's simpler. making children eat things they dislike has always seemed to me a peculiarly unpleasant form of torture.

MoominMammasHandbag Wed 23-Oct-13 19:29:53

With 4 children, it is actually a rare joy to find meals that everyone is enthusiastic about.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 23-Oct-13 19:32:38

Louise1956 - it's not that any of us are deliberately making our children eat things we know they dislike, more that we will not cater to constantly changing 'dislikes' from one week to the next, and we won't tolerate silliness around meal times. Do you see? smile

SinisterSal Wed 23-Oct-13 19:34:24

I'm the same. Eat it or don't, but i am pretty strict about snacks. I am a believer in encouraging kids to eat to their appetite. if they are hungry at dinner time they will have more of a chance of eating a bit of it. they don't have to clear their plates

LegoStillSavesMyLife Wed 23-Oct-13 19:35:42

Another hard core one here. You have a decent go in a decent time at what your given or no pudding and no snacks until the next meal. Absolutely no whinging allowed (them or me wink) not my problem if you are hungry. BUT I would never put a whole meal in front of them that they didn't like and they just have to try a little bit of something new.

Works for us, they now eat almost anything and love to try new things. But I know other people for whom it doesn't work, so I guess to a certain extent it is just luck of the draw.

ExpiredyCustards Wed 23-Oct-13 19:37:49

But if you never offer anything new, how will the dcs know if they like it?

Curry night and falafel night are particularly tedious at the moment chez custard.

In this house the more time I spend preparing the dinner, the less likely it is they will eat it.
I cook one meal, if they don't like it they can make themselves a sarnie, have a bit of fruit and some cheese. I have 4 and trying to find a meal all of them will eat is like one of those mathematical logic puzzles.

LegoStillSavesMyLife Wed 23-Oct-13 19:39:31

*louise1956. I don't feed them things really don't like, this was done to me as a child and it would be a cold day in hell before I did it to my children.

I just won't tolerate buggering about at the table.

Mattissy Wed 23-Oct-13 20:15:05

I'm really laid back about food, if they don't eat I don't stress, my mother was a nightmare about my eating and I'll never do that to my kids, no way. I think that If they've eaten it before but refuse to eat it now coz they fancy bring awkward then they go without, if they try it for the first time and don't like it, that's different and I'll get them something else.

I don't usually fanny on doing different meals but I'm happy enough to do some varying between us all, like some others have said and I avoid major dislikes, which I'd pretty standard I'm sure. Ds hates mushrooms, I cook with them in the pot but pick them out when dishing up etc. The worst bit is ds hates gravy, his meals always look so boring, lol

I cook one meal. Either eat it or lose it. (I bin or plastic box it)

If it's not eaten its fruit. No sweets snacks or dessert. I will happily move meal back 30mins if you just aren't hungry. That's allowed. I microwave.

Every meal has visible veg. It is what it is and don't whine. Try a bit then you can leave.

I love food. I love cooking. I sincerely want them to love both.

Do you find involving them assists? Which foods does that work best with? I'm gathering courage, she's nearly three. I think she would relish that though.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 23-Oct-13 20:38:51

Involving them in planning/choosing - I find it does help, yes. I can pretty much guarantee that they'll both choose pizza for Saturday as it's our family ritual now (I buy a base then make up our own toppings - real cheese, proper ham, sometimes tuna, usually pineapple), but they must also choose a veg to go alongside (they usually go for sweetcorn cobs). They will also usually choose a burger/sausages type meal as well, which is perfectly fine if using a good quality sausage/burger (I usually go for 90%+ meat) and again I let them choose what veg they want, but they have to have at least one.

So I'd say let them choose something that they struggle with, iyswim - ds2 hated almost all veg for a very long time, but if we give him the freedom to chose which one he has, he will mostly eat it without complaining. The problem is they can tend to be short term - I prefer to meal plan weekly but by the end of the week they often can't remember what they chose! So I moved to three/four day planning. You could also try a chalk/slate board and letting the child write the decided menu on it themselves, that might be good.

I got to the point once where I actually said "I was making spaghetti bolognese tonight, but you wont eat it, so I'm just going to cut the middle bit out and you can go to bed hungry!"
It didn't really work, but it made them sit up. Totally fed up with food being wasted.

SatinSandals Wed 23-Oct-13 22:32:21

When I said 'take it or leave it' I don't serve up and expect then to eat real dislikes, but anyone who dislikes more than a few things is just fussy.

paperdress Wed 23-Oct-13 22:47:41

My 2 DS are nearly 2. Reading this thread has confirmed for me that
a) family cooking blows (i loved cooking before kids)
b) its probably going to get worse before it gets better

GoofyIsACow Wed 23-Oct-13 22:54:50

Wow! So many replies, thanks all.
I am actually normally in the 'take it or leave it' camp.
I have 3 DS's 5,2&2, eldest DS will gag and vomit if he doesn't want to eat something. When he was younger he ate absolutely anything.

DT's today didn't even pick up their sandwich at lunchtime and didnt even pick up their forks at tea time. I made jacket potato with cheese because i was dashing out and it was quick!

Tomorrow I am going to make curry with rice and if they eat it they do and if they don't I am leaving home will be fine about it! grin

My DS2 (3 years) has decided he doesn't want tea anymore. Fine. He doesn't have to eat tea, but if he doesn't there is NO MORE food at all that night. I think it is something to do with his age, quite common apparently.
I don't believe in forcing him to eat, I go by the notion that if he's hungry he will eat it.
I don't make a fuss, just tell him when he says 'noooo tea !' 'OK, but no more food tonight.'
It works. You don't have to be a food nazi, or get worked up and stressed out about things. My children are definitely not starved or fading away !

SatinSandals Thu 24-Oct-13 06:57:38

A lot of it is not about food, it is a battle of wills. It gets them masses and masses if attention.
As kiwi says you really don't need to get stressed or be a food nazi. You leave the choice to them of take it or leave it and then it really is not your problem, they take the consequences. If they say thy are hungry you can point out that it is not your problem, you ate your meal and so you are not hungry, if they had done the same they wouldn't be. Don't enter arguments or get drawn into long discussions, treat it as boring and just offer a bit of fruit. Once you have established your response they will eat when it is offered, especially if they are not full of snacks. It may take a while with some children. It is difficult with your own because of course you are bothered really.

VoiceofRaisin Thu 24-Oct-13 07:07:01

When my DC did this (many years ago), I found I was less angry/deflated/despairing if I had put in less effort. SO instead of cooking say, carrots and leeks with herbs, or ratatouille, they had raw pepper and cucumber sticks or else cherry tomatoes or pitta and hummus etc I discovered they preferred raw "unmessed about" food- the simple things - no sauce, no herbs, no interesting twists. Perhaps that was because I was more relaxed about it. The result was they ate and I was spending less time cooking. Happy mum and happy DC.

PS don't really take advice from me as my DC are both now pretty thin as young adults which makes me think I should have fed them more!

galwaygirl Thu 24-Oct-13 07:15:51

What age do people start this at? I like the sound of it as my DD is so fussy and eats so unhealthily but she's only 2yrs 4months so think she might be a bit young yet?
And the same with cutting out snacks? When can you start that?

galwaygirl Thu 24-Oct-13 07:17:28

P.S. I feel your pain OP. spent ages making chicken paprika last night, made harder by baby DS screeching and needing to be in wrap only for DD to announce she only wanted ketchup!

SatinSandals Thu 24-Oct-13 07:22:54

They generally start being fussy eaters around 2 yrs. you can give snacks, you just stop giving them if they are filling up so that they are not hungry for meals and you don't offer one instead of a meal.

shelley72 Thu 24-Oct-13 09:14:52

This makes me mad too. But because of the waste. Food is so expensive, and I see money being thrown away. Unfortunately the children don't realise sad

AnyFuckerGotBunnywhacked Thu 24-Oct-13 10:30:11

I started avoiding putting things they hated on a plate like mushrooms for ds i would spend ages fishing them out then dd announced she hated several things and didn't want them on the plate and ds2 hated pretty much everything so now i just cook something i fancy chuck it all down with a bit of bread and butter each so I know they have had something if they eat it great if they don't fine but don't try asking for anything else later. DD11 now eats most things ds10 still has food issues with somethings ds6 still won't eat much but he hasn't starved yet

GoofyIsACow Thu 24-Oct-13 11:13:14

Tonight it starts, thankyou, i am really glad i posted this. DH has the Italian 'if you dont eat you will die' gene and so gives them other stuff (especially the DT's) if they don't eat, i always felt a bit harsh saying no!

Tonight I am going to make chicken curry and they will either eat it or not.

thanks

LittleMissCrankyPants Thu 24-Oct-13 11:25:46

I've got absolutely sick of wasting good food over the years with the 'if you don't want it, don't eat it' and then scraping it in the bin. I now ask the 12 & 9 year olds 'we are eating xxxx for tea do you want some' if they say no then they just get themselves beans on toast or pasta etc. I refuse to waste good food anymore.

DanielHellHoundMcSpaniel Thu 24-Oct-13 11:35:34

I know exactly where you're coming from and I have also spent too long pandering/getting worked up about DS1 (3.1) faffing about with his fork, saying he's not hungry, wanting to get down etc.

Tonight I'm doing spanish omelette and he can sit down at the table and choose to eat it, or not. He will half an hour, as will DS2 (9m) who will finish in about 10 minutes he's such a piggy and thats it. I am being HARD mummy <mean stare>

Good luck with the curry tonight.

littlegem12 Thu 24-Oct-13 12:23:54

galwaygirl you can start at any age I've never given ds snacks in hes life he has brekki and 2 cooked meals a day (cooked in bulk and warmed up, I'm not organised enough to cook fresh) followed by snacky puds (biscuits/ fruit/ yogs) hes only 18 months now so hasn't reached the massive age of resistance yet but he did have an appetite drop at 14 months and started fiddling around with lunch so instead of changing to snacks I put lunch back an hour (and dinner back to compensate for late lunch) and now he eats same as before. He is a bit of a chubster and he's never i'll so I dont worry hes not getting enough.
Im a real pig myself I always open the cupboards if I'm bored and I don't want my son to have the same food to change your mood habit I have, I also want him to grow up knowing its not dangerous to feel hungry for a while when a meal comes along 3 times a day there's no need to nip mild hunger in the bud quickly.

paperdress Thu 24-Oct-13 13:19:18

littlegem - thats really interesting. I know i use snax as a boredom/ frustration filler a bit for my 2 DS; i feel sorry for them when they have to be in pram (they r twins so when im on my own we have to get from a to b in pram). They r v active energetic boys so i know they dont like the pram and i compensate with snax. Obv. try to keep it healthy (fruit, crackers) but dont know if i'd have guts on a longer trip i.e. Few shops to endure the grizzles and demands of 'OUT OUT!' and glares from gen pub (who have prob never had to look after 2 toddlers all day). My mum and OH are better at tolerating the experience but then they only have then on their own occasionally.
I wish i gave less of a shit about those judgemental stares but i guess that is a whole other thread...

Custard I thought it was just my boy that didn't like banana. After a few times of preparing them, I gave up. He doesn't like the texture, so I just make banana smoothies now, he loves them.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 13:30:41

I have toddlers and don't do snack either unless we'reout aand I'm bribing them to be quiet which is rare. Or they've just spent an hour running at the park, and then it'll be fruit or something with lots if water

I'm always surprised by play groups where people bring two or three snacks to last the child an hour and half! And then they moan the children don't eat a thing hmm

Uh, yeah you've just given him a full meal of crackers cheese and fruit!

That could be competitive "look how concerned I am parenting" though.

ToffeeWhirl Thu 24-Oct-13 13:46:57

Marking my place because I want to find any useful tips. I was made to sit and eat my meals as a child and it made me so miserable that I vowed never to do that to my DC. As a result, I have been very laid back about eating and never insisted on my children eating things they don't want. I now have two boys who don't eat much and are both underweight confused. Admittedly, DS1 has a medical problem which has contributed to this, but DS2 is just plain fussy.

I love planning and preparing meals, but it upsets me so much when the children won't eat and the food ends up in the bin. More so now that I'm worried they are not eating enough! Am beginning to wonder if I am just a really dreadful cook sad.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:01:56

Personally I pick my battles, I cook healthy food I know ds will eat, it's only in the last couple of years, he's 12 now, that he has become adventurous with food - now he will happily sit and suck the heads of prawns and tuck into a big dish of whitebait.

I stuck to foods he would eat but always introduce something new as a 'just try it and see' option but never as the main course, he could just try what we were having so it removed the pressure.

I wouldn't even bother cooking curry for kids that age OP unless you know they will eat it. Cook the curry for you and grill their portion of chicken.

Sitting down all together and food in the middle of the table is nice too so kids can help themselves to a little or a lot - better than being presented with a plate of food they have to wade through ime.

it's soul destroying cooking food that people turn their noses up at.

You mention the older child used to eat a wider range of food - that's really common, I think their taste buds change or something and they start to get 'fussy.'

One thing I will not tolerate is dramatics or rudeness though, a simple no thank you is sufficient, any wailing about 'being poisoned' is given very short shrift wink

littlegem12 Thu 24-Oct-13 14:03:46

Colder thats so true re snack club playgroups.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 14:05:18

wouldn't even bother cooking curry for kids that age OP unless you know they will eat it.

I'm pretty sure there are whole countries with kids that age eating curry

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:08:21

unless you know they will eat it

Did you not read that part of my post? grin

Crowler Thu 24-Oct-13 14:10:40

It makes me crazy with rage.

My oldest is like this. He'll faff about at dinner time, not eat anything, and re-enter the kitchen 45 minutes later and begin by "absentmindedly" picking up a tiny morsel from his plate that I've left there. Then, he inches his way to the fridge and "absentmindedly" eats a small amount of fruit. Then he inches his way to the pantry and "absentmindedly" takes a bag of potato chips.

It makes me feel like throwing him across the room sometimes. I don't really make controversial food; everything that I make, he has happily eaten at some point.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:11:32

I wouldn't bother making my ds cauliflower cheese, he HATES it, really doesn't enjoy it at all. He will just about eat plain cauliflower though, so dh and I have cc and ds has it plain.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:12:14

Arf @ controversial food grin

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 14:30:47

OP doesn't know what they will eat day to day as they are fussy and go back and forth on it. Her best bet really is starve em till them eat. Unless she thinks there may be some special needs, kids will eat eventually, especially if it is something they have previously eaten

And they are only 2, so she has to start now with curry etc so it's a part of what they consider regular food. I get the impression that people think British children have inferior taste buds some times grin

(wonders if mumsnet India and and mumsnet Japan have parents moaning their children will only eat chips and chicken nuggets)

I'm a vegetarian and so are my kids though so I have to be really hardcore abut getting them to try new foods as a fussy vegetarian won't have any dinner invites... hmm

wasabipeanut Thu 24-Oct-13 14:42:19

I sympathise. DS1 (6) is inclined to faffing with food and both he and DD (3) eat soooooo slowly. Mainly because they are too busy talking. DS2 is still at that lovely pre 2 year old phase where he basically eats everything. I avoid things they hate (only chicken and eggs in DS1's case) and have a take it or leave it approach.

I find its helpful to leave the room. I MN round the corner as their faffing annoys me and I don't want to turn mealtimes into a row. No anger or cajoling if they don't eat but no pudding/snacks etc. I'm actually really tight with snacks anyway - an apple two hours before a meal seems to really dent their appetites so I avoid where possible.

I often wish I had kids who are always claiming to be hungry. Mine never seem to be.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 14:50:24

they are fussy and go back and forth on it

If that's the case and they have eaten something at least twice before then it would be take it or leave it in this house too. That's just attention seeking nonsense <harumpphh! Hoiks bosom>

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 15:30:03

Right there with you sister

<no bosom to hoike>

GoofyIsACow Thu 24-Oct-13 15:44:00

Actually curry is one of the things I have known all three to eat at some point! Whether they will partake this eve is anyones guess!

Sixtiesqueen Thu 24-Oct-13 15:53:04

What about when you eat out and you end up in some place that does frigging fish fingers because you know they will eat fishfingers.

We have been on holiday in London all week, surrounded by glorious places to eat (not to mention really interesting things to do, though we can't do them because we have the kids with us). We have found ourselves eating in places we really don't want to eat just to be able to feed the youngest.

Every restaurant ought to sign up to a kids' menu which comprises fishfingers and chips/spag bol or bangers and mash. Even Indian restaurants. Their trade would soar.

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 16:08:55

OP in that cue then it is curry or nothing! grin

lifeinthefastlane1 Thu 24-Oct-13 16:33:59

shepherd pie finally eaten after a glimpse of the chocolate cake for pudding, I think mine is a lazy eater , she wanted feeding all the time and would go without if I didnt do it , I finally had enough and said do it yourself or starve, havent had to do it again , I also have a set amount of time to eat it, if its not done within 30 mins it goes in bin, then we have screaming abdabs until she falls asleep.
I am in the eat it or leave it camp too , and I do cook the things I know she will eat. but bloody hell shes such a faffer, she barely ever gets to have dessert as she never eats her tea.(and she doesnt care either , which says a lot as she is a total sweet tooth) but she stays for school lunch everyday and always eats the lot!!! (shes four).
Also have 2 grown dcs, who ate anything and everything so maybe its karma for being smug mum in the pastwink

valiumredhead Thu 24-Oct-13 16:46:52

Cue? I meant case

stopgap Thu 24-Oct-13 17:15:36

I am praying that my 2.3-year-old DS doesn't go through this stage. We're deep in the midst of hitting/whining/clinging territory, and I will go spare if his good eating and sleeping habits go out the window. They won't, will they? Will they?!

DanielHellHoundMcSpaniel Thu 24-Oct-13 17:41:10

I did tuna and veg rice not omelette for tea. Put it down and have feigned indifference while I fed the baby. Its being consumed, one grain at a time hmm but it is going in. Its been 25 minutes and he's consumed about an eighth of the bowl. Do I just let him keep going forever til he puts his fork down again or stick to the half an hour?

My ds1, when he was 2 ate literally nothing but cheese and bread. And I do mean nothing else. For 6 months.

Now he is 14 I cannot stop the boy from eating. He had 4 bowls of pasta yesterday. Which was quite annoying because I wanted there to be leftovers.
An hour after that he had a bowl of cereal. Then a kit Kat. And a hot chocolate.

One day, you will be wishing they would just stop bloody well eating so there's actually food left in the cupboards when you get home.

catsrus Thu 24-Oct-13 17:48:35

Reverse psychology worked with mine - i'd add something different to my plate - red cabbage, whatever and when they asked say 'it's a bit of a grown up taste - you wont like it' when they insisted they would I'd say "ok, you can have a taste, and if you like it I'll make some for you next time" nine times out of ten they would say they did like it. By the time they were teenagers they were often shocked at how limited some of their friends diets were

YANBU. It's soul destroying. I'm just cooking a nice pasta bake up. DD will splatter it all over herself, but eat some of it. I will eat mine. DW sit upstairs on her phone as she has already eaten while the kids were in school. DS will look at it, and if it is not complete crap then he will leave it and ask for "something else to eat. Because the thing is, I didn't like that food." angry

Sometimes I think I might as well just put a pile of dog cap on his plate, it would probably have more nutritional value than the sausage and chips he'll be demanding (which he will not get).

Mattissy Thu 24-Oct-13 19:36:21

Catsrus, reverse psychology usually works in this house too, "you won't like this but I suppose you could try some"

Tantrums, you are right, my ds is 12 and his appetite is ramping up and up, some days I wonder how I'll fill him and he's as thin as a rake!

BMW6 Thu 24-Oct-13 20:33:16

Oh dear, am going to out myself as an old fart....... dinner put before us, that's your lot.Eat or be hungry.

On the other hand, I loathe beetroot and always have. so Mum never put any on my plate. Another sis loathed cabbage, so that was never put on her plate.

But, the basic meal was what it was. Nothing else was cooked as a substitute. Everyone ate at the table, at the same time.

We were poor as mice by today's standards, but not malnorished.
But certainly were not "accommodated" when it came to meals.

TBH I think my parents were right.

Foxy800 Thu 24-Oct-13 21:36:03

I am same as you BMW6, my daughter is a very fussy eater. I cook for her but if she doesnt eat it she goes without and will have no pudding.

It is very hard work but she is now eating some foods she wouldnt eat before.

GoofyIsACow Thu 24-Oct-13 21:41:50

Well i didnt make curry tonight because i forgot that Ds1 was at a birthday party for his tea and DT's were at DM's

Curry tomorrow, 20 mins on the table then taken away.

No fuss no stress no worries no eating i bet grin

Maybe there should be a support group for us to join at teatimes for help and virtual brow mopping! This could be it!

GoofyIsACow Thu 24-Oct-13 21:42:44

BMW I think you just joined the general concensus of the whole thread so if you are an old fart so is everyone else on here! grin

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