to think that the whole Guy Fawkes/Bonfire Night stuff should be banned

(129 Posts)
MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 21:14:01

because it's anti-Catholic and encourages yobbos to go around begging for money and lighting fires.

To to mention the fact that people, even children are having FUN. Which should of course be banned.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 22-Oct-13 21:16:02

Yes! Drown all the witches!

MadCap Tue 22-Oct-13 21:16:34

I have a friend who pulls her kid out of bonfire stuff at school because it's anti catholic.

Famzilla Tue 22-Oct-13 21:16:51

YANBU. As a Lewes girl I hate getting dressed up with my friends each year and having a jolly good party with fire torches & rum. Hate it.

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 21:17:27

It's a disgrace, isn't it.

And I'm sure it's imported from somewhere. In fact, possibly London. So shouldn't be allowed in far-flung places like Gloucestershire and Wales

MadCap Tue 22-Oct-13 21:17:30

I do think however that diy at home fireworks should be BANNED!

sarahtigh Tue 22-Oct-13 21:17:48

well you would have to ban hallowe'en too too scary for elderly encourages begging etc etc and fun for children which must not be allowed at all

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 21:17:59

x-posted Famzilla.

I know, I really sympathise. All this enforced FUN. It's not fair.

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 21:19:01

Exactly sarah.

That nasty Scottish import. It shouldn't be allowed in leafy middle England.

I actually don't like fireworks at all, but let's not spoil the frothing by getting all serious

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Tue 22-Oct-13 21:19:23

Yeah, I am pretty sure it's American too. <sneery face>

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Tue 22-Oct-13 21:19:57

I actually would like to ban drunk dads playing with fireworks..

SPsTombRaidingWithCliff Tue 22-Oct-13 21:20:00

Ban it!

Who wants bonfire lollies, parkin and alcohol?! Not me, that's for sure.

Kids having fun? What's all that about?

FrightRider Tue 22-Oct-13 21:20:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Tue 22-Oct-13 21:21:28

real witches don't drown!

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 21:21:47

I'm in Ireland where fireworks are banned.

Which of course just means there are millions of them about.

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 21:22:16

SP grin

TwoLeftSocks Tue 22-Oct-13 21:23:11

Can't beat a good Lewes bonfire! Does the Bishop of Sussex (suspect that's not his proper title) still stand up and get pelted with rookies?

FrightRider Tue 22-Oct-13 21:23:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I was in labour firing out my own rocket last year on the 5th Nov, on those grounds it should be banned, if I was missing so should everyone grin

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 21:25:14

Or if you are tied to a ducking stool, Fright. Or is it a dunking stool? I don't know much about witches.

usualsuspect Tue 22-Oct-13 21:27:02

Just ban anyone from having fun ever.

That should please the whinging misery arses.

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 21:30:33

no no no! You BURN witches. Water is holy, so if you put a witch in water she will float as the water rejects her as she is unholy!
All forms of fun should be banned! Especially those that happen in the winter!

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 21:31:24

if you duck a suspected witch and she drowns, she is innocent.

FrightRider Tue 22-Oct-13 21:35:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SPsTombRaidingWithCliff Tue 22-Oct-13 21:35:35

Why do people know so much about how to kill witches?!

needaholidaynow Tue 22-Oct-13 21:35:35

Kids should never have fun because it might offend certain people. Christmas should deffo be banned innit.

perplexedpirate Tue 22-Oct-13 21:36:08

FUN?! Fucking FUN?!
Who do you think you are OP. I just bet you enjoyed typing out that post didn't you? SHAME!!!

Ban mince pies as well. Mince pies are cunts.

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 21:36:17

It is ducking, yes. As evidenced by Monty Python and a witch weighing the same as a duck or something.

WestieMamma Tue 22-Oct-13 21:37:14


We had a bonfire party here in Sweden and invited all our neighbours, who promptly asked us what it's all about. I was like 'erm, well, this bloke got caught trying to kill the king who, by all accounts was a bit of a bastard. So he was tortured and killed and then a law came in forcing the populace to light fires to celebrate the fact that the king survived. Even though everyone hated him. But they quite liked the bonfires. So now we still do it because change takes time and it's only been 400 years.'

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 21:38:30

SP Its cos I live in Manningtree. Home of Matthew Hopkins the Witchfinder General. We are steeped in witches round here! [hsmile]

WestieMamma Tue 22-Oct-13 21:42:06

Ban mince pies as well. Mince pies are cunts.

Are you having a laugh? Last time they banned mince pies we had civil war. Literally. That's why the monarchy was restored, cos Cromwell banned mince pies.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 22-Oct-13 21:42:52

Fireworks are banned in Ireland? Well bugger me.

usualsuspect Tue 22-Oct-13 21:43:08

And Christmas trees, ban them sparkley fuckers anorl.

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 21:43:53

And Baileys. Im certain Cromwell banned Baileys too!

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 21:45:24

Are we banning Christmas as well? Whoever started all that shit should be nailed to a tree! Same goes for the bastard who invented Easter.

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 21:46:21

Didnt Jesus invent easter? hmm

IHatePingu Tue 22-Oct-13 21:46:56

We always go to the display at the Catholic school near us. confused

IHatePingu Tue 22-Oct-13 21:48:50

...No chance Cromwell, victory will be mine,
You'll never pass a ban on mince pies and mulled wine.

Gah, anybody else singing the Horrible Histories song now?

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 21:54:48

He certainly had a lot to do with it Scabby. It was a joke. This is a jokey thread smile

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 21:57:26

I was joking too! blush Everybody knows that kinnerton invented easter!

sweetkitty Tue 22-Oct-13 21:58:28

Fireworks are so expensive, I always wonder how the local ned population can afford to launch 4 million of the buggers in the 2 weeks before and after Bonfire Night.

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 21:59:08

I didn't blush will look it up!

WestieMamma Tue 22-Oct-13 21:59:56

Jesus invented creme eggs.

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 22:00:00


ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 22:00:23

satan invented cream eggs!

morethanpotatoprints Tue 22-Oct-13 22:01:48

Lets just ban kids then? They force us to give then fun.
Cost us too much money, and enjoy themselves too much.

WestieMamma Tue 22-Oct-13 22:02:26

satan invented cream eggs!


gordyslovesheep Tue 22-Oct-13 22:03:18

ban it - ban everything - Oliver Cromwell had the right idea

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 22:03:23

WHAT??!! Its not as if I said JEHOVAH or anything! confused

gordyslovesheep Tue 22-Oct-13 22:03:56

all fun is the work of satan

gordyslovesheep Tue 22-Oct-13 22:04:23

grabs fake beard and a big stone

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 22:06:18

Ban Satan!

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 22:06:21

Are there any women here? hmm

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 22:07:23

no.. <<cough>> NO... Only men here!

Moln Tue 22-Oct-13 22:07:46

People who laugh should be put into shackles and made to recite the eight times table non stop

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 22:08:41

Welease Wodewick!

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 22:12:49

Ha ha ha!

I have a very good friend in Wome called Biggus Dickus.

DH is playing a role-playing game with his headset on and keeps addressing someone who has that as a username.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 22-Oct-13 22:13:31

I agree ban Satan he is the root of all the good stuff kids like.
He invented Santa as well and tried to confuse us with his name as an anagram grin

WestieMamma Tue 22-Oct-13 22:14:06


ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Tue 22-Oct-13 22:16:42

Santa is a Cunt! Definitely ban the beardy old fucker!

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 22:27:52

Oh, yay, replies.

People don't usually reply on my threads. Apart from ones in Site Stuff that I then have to single-handedly kill.

<off to read all the sensible, cogent, interesting replies that such a unique and incisive thread must have attracted>

<might be lying>

WestieMamma Tue 22-Oct-13 22:28:40

Santa died in 1564. He's buried in the village of Dedham, Essex. Cheaper to take the kids to visit than Lapland.

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 22:30:15

Did I ever tell you all about the time I had a ruckus on a Father Christmas thread?

I got deleted for calling someone a pompous ass. And she was.

I am still bitter.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 22-Oct-13 22:33:58

You called someone a pompous ass?

Was that when you were a character in a Dickens novel grin

MooncupGoddess Tue 22-Oct-13 22:34:54

Do they have Guy Fawkes Night in Ireland, Mary? Surely you're all on the side of nice Guy Fawkes against the nasty Protestant English monarchy?

usualsuspect Tue 22-Oct-13 22:37:08

I'll never forget pompous ass deletion gate.

She was one of the 'I don't lie to my children about Father Christmas mob' who surface on MN every December.

Just to zap a bit more joy out of childhood.

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 22:46:45

That's right usual.

She was the one who insisted that it was fine if her child told everyone else's the truth, because that way they would all be saved from their evil abusive lying parents.

I was trying to avoid being deleted Randal, and she reported me. Helen did apologise, but never reinstated the post. I still feel very hard done by.


No, we don't do Guy Fawkes here. Because he was a bit of a twit, really, and the king of the time seems to have been universally hated anyway, if my history is correct.

Down south we do Hallowe'en properly, and up North they just set fire to the whole country every July.

<exaggerates for effect>

perplexedpirate Tue 22-Oct-13 22:52:01

Course in having a laugh! I'm all about The Restoration, me.


PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 22-Oct-13 22:53:10

Bonfire night is anti-catholic?

My dd attends a Catholic school (as did I) and they've spent today making firework artwork in preparation for bonfire night. Last year, the made their own fireworks out of toilet roll tubes.

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 22:56:02

<points and laughs at Pinocchio>

Guy Fawkes

<refrains from admitting to not knowing much about it either>

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 22-Oct-13 22:59:52

Oh gosh i'm a terrible catholic blush

A few sparklers should cheer me up though. grin

VerySmallSqueak Tue 22-Oct-13 23:00:21

I watched V for vendetta the other night.
It proper got me in the mood.

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 23:01:50

I've never made much of a fuss about Guy Fawkes Night but given the past couple of years I do feel a need to create a bonfire and burn some effigies...

MaryZombie Tue 22-Oct-13 23:05:09

I don't think it's actual dogma, Pinocchio. I'm not convinced the Pope has pontificated about Guy Fawkes thlgrin

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 22-Oct-13 23:08:07

I'm still chuckling to myself about 'pompous ass gate'.

elQuintoConyo Tue 22-Oct-13 23:11:43

Christmas? CHRISTMAS? Presents for children? Pass the parcel? Chocolate advent calendars? Jesus in his minger? Snowman soup?

I'm shocked this still goes on in the developed world.

Biggus Dickus - he has a wife.... grin

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 23:15:35

Away in a Minger grin

usualsuspect Tue 22-Oct-13 23:18:07

Poor Jesus in his minger thlsad

AnaisHellWitch Tue 22-Oct-13 23:31:52

The baby Jesus is weeping in his minger, usual. Weeping

He has been left to C.I.O.

ManifestoMT Wed 23-Oct-13 00:33:35

In his minger???

You fucking miserablists.!!! Burn the fuckers
Light a few sparklers on the way mind

FrightRider Wed 23-Oct-13 00:37:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Wed 23-Oct-13 10:15:57

How the fuck did I miss Pompous Assgate? shock sad angry
Westie you are correct! Father Christmas is indeed buried in Dedham Church. I went and asked after it was on QI! (I used to live in the next village)

So theres no need to worry about Christmas any more. The Cunt is definitely dead!

freddiefrog Wed 23-Oct-13 10:22:59

Of course it should be banned. Everything fun should be banned. No one needs to have fun

NoComet Wed 23-Oct-13 10:25:52

Fun, especially fun with a hint of danger is vital to the human soul.

treaclesoda Wed 23-Oct-13 10:27:46

I wish we had bonfire night where I'm from, it looks great.

treaclesoda Wed 23-Oct-13 10:28:33

although fun is generally frowned on round here...

TEErickOrTEEreat Wed 23-Oct-13 10:28:49

Just for the record: no witches were burned at the Salem Witch Trials. They were hanged (hung?) except one who was pressed to death.

I mean, kill them, but there's no need to be mean about it!!!!

Now, about banning fun...I also think all of this TV should be banned. All that jocularity in the airwaves!!!! Imagine the fun floating around your heard right now!!!!!

::lies down after all the !!! abuse::

DidoTheDodo Wed 23-Oct-13 10:31:17

I am sure they sell witches in Rochester.

KirjavaTheCorpse Wed 23-Oct-13 10:35:41


It's such a fucking waste. Of something.

Weegiemum Wed 23-Oct-13 10:39:29

We also have to ban holidays. My children tell me they ENJOYED going to Italy. Ungrateful brats.

Or we could just ban abroad <<channels the bnp>>

Weegiemum Wed 23-Oct-13 10:40:23

Oh no I'm channelling something. I must be a witch too <ties self to stake>

treaclesoda Wed 23-Oct-13 10:41:03

we should probably ban nice food too. I mean, my DD ate her dinner the other night and declared it 'lovely'. How dare she enjoy it?

Poor Baby Jesus in a minger! Although I must say that Baby Jesus is my favourite of all the Jesuses.

OP YANBU - bloody children having fun are the bane of my fucking life. State-sponsored-organised-non-spur-of-the-monent-or-organic fun. <Peppa style shifty eyes>

freddiefrog Wed 23-Oct-13 10:44:09

It's been such a revelation

I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself...all those years I've allowed my children to have fun - I've even bought them new pyjamas that they don't need for Christmas Eve shock

OrmirianResurgam Wed 23-Oct-13 10:48:14

Love fireworks and bonfires and all things that are bright and go whoosh and are a bit dangerous. So do my kids it appears.

DS1, as a LOTR and Game of Thrones obsessive, has a collection of knives and a 'Viking combat axe (looks like a normal one to me). He has also made a few bows from hazel that he cuts down and prepares with his knives. He hankers after a sword (which he can't afford!) I always twitter in a slightly alarmed motherly manner when he acquires them so in deference to my concerns he refers to the shops where he acquires such treasures as 'Dangerous Things Shops'.

DS1 has a passion for snakes, scorpions and the like. If we let him he would have a vivarium full of the toxic and vicious.

DD rides horses which IMO is a bloody dangerous and terrifying thing to do but she laughs in the face of a fractured spine and a splintered skull.

So IMO my liking for bangy, flashy swooshy, crackly things is quite tame in comparison.

OrmirianResurgam Wed 23-Oct-13 10:51:13

BTW should I also stop telling ghost stories lit only by cande light on Halloween. The abject terror I attempt to instill is only heighted by the huge amount of sugar and e-numbers ingested by the children present. They SAY they enjoy it......

culturemulcher Wed 23-Oct-13 10:53:37

Um, I think it is actually dying out and being superseded by Halloween. I think it's a real shame.

We're doing out bit to keep the tradition going and having our own bonfire night party this year... me, and my CATHOLIC DH. smile

TEErickOrTEEreat Wed 23-Oct-13 10:56:06

Hugless do not pick your favourite Jesus until you take a look at this.

culturemulcher Wed 23-Oct-13 10:59:41

Oh. I completely missed the point of the thread.

I'll go and dust off my ducking stool again.

BurberryQ Wed 23-Oct-13 10:59:48

it is not really anti Catholic per se, I do believe the Orange types from Ireland tried to hijack the Lewes bonfire at one time and had their asses kicked out of town - it is not just any pope whose effigy is burnt but specifically Pope Paul V.

I have been to the Lewes bonfire on several occasions and saw nothing anti-Catholic about the evening, ever, despite its roots.

AnaisHellWitch Wed 23-Oct-13 11:03:18

TEE shock

My favourite Jesus is this one

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Wed 23-Oct-13 11:04:42

Tee I might buy my Jehovah's Witness DF one of those for christmas!
Or I would if he celebrated Christmas...

BurberryQ Wed 23-Oct-13 11:04:44

hehe when i was a kid I was under the distinct impression that Guy Fawkes was the hero of the evening for trying to burn down parliament!

sashh Wed 23-Oct-13 11:06:36

no no no! You BURN witches.

Now that IS an American invention.

TEErickOrTEEreat Wed 23-Oct-13 11:09:19

Anais, I love that one!

AnaisHellWitch Wed 23-Oct-13 11:11:02

I might buy my Jehovah's Witness DF one of those for christmas

She said it again!!!

Popular with Creationists, that one Tee.

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Wed 23-Oct-13 11:12:08

My favourite [[ Jesus]]

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Wed 23-Oct-13 11:13:59

Fecking phone app! here

Tee I think Business Jesus is now firmly in the top 3, having relegated Smashing Up the Temple Jesus down to 4th, and coming in behind Baby Jesus (still at number 1 - he's just so cute!) and Wedding at Cana Jesus (Water into wine - that's a messiah I can get behind grin).

I'm so glad my gran can't see me rating Jesuses....

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Wed 23-Oct-13 11:14:56

Aksherly, all the witches were hanged round here as well!

AnaisHellWitch Wed 23-Oct-13 11:18:05

Oh yes, dicso Jesus is ace.

You get a lot of this sort of "art" on the Landover Baptist Church Forum. That's an interesting one, the premise being that the forum members are all massive trolls and set up to provoke outrage from hapless newbies.

cory Wed 23-Oct-13 11:18:18

Burning witches is not an American invention: it was popular on the Continent. Except in Spain where they burnt heretics.

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Wed 23-Oct-13 11:20:30
ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Wed 23-Oct-13 11:21:31

<<dons fireproof suit>>

AnaisHellWitch Wed 23-Oct-13 11:24:04

My DS would love that!

You'll need more that a fireproof suit where you're going, Scabby grin

Burning at the stake has being going on since before America was even a sparkle in a Puritan's eye. I went on an open day to my university with my dad, and at one point on the tour of the town that they get the ambassadors to do, he said (far too loudly around people that don't already know his sense of humour) that "Well that's it decided, you're coming here!" when we were told about heretics protestants being burned at the stake during the Reformation, the two famous ones being done in 1528 and 1546. It had been done on the continent for at least 400 years previous.

(I'm a little bit sad that this is the first time since having DS that my medieval history degree has come in useful...)

x-post with cory blush

OrmirianResurgam Wed 23-Oct-13 11:30:34

But the American Puritans seemed even more enthusiastic about it! grin

TEErickOrTEEreat Wed 23-Oct-13 11:40:05

These paintings just prove that Jesus is everywhere.*

*For the record? I'm Jewish. thlgrin

LucySnoweShouldRelax Wed 23-Oct-13 11:43:33

FWIW, in quite a number of rural parishes in Ireland, bonfire night is in June, around midsummer's night, I think it's been claimed in the name of the feast day of Sts Peter and Paul?

Should be banned, in any case.

Fakebook Wed 23-Oct-13 11:46:17

Yanbu. Lets ban everything that is remotely fun or enjoyable for families. Why should anyone have any fun in their lives? Life is about working and surviving each day, not stupid Americanised "holidays". Stupid people.

Greavesey Wed 23-Oct-13 12:19:28

I like Woody Allen Jesus

Greavesey Wed 23-Oct-13 12:21:33
OrmirianResurgam Thu 24-Oct-13 11:30:08

My own personal Jesus?

ProudAS Thu 24-Oct-13 12:27:46

I went to s catholic school and bonfire night was never discouraged. I could quite happily do without Halloween though.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Thu 24-Oct-13 12:47:28

This is my favourite Jesus

Off to ponder why Business Jesus has a mullet ...

all i said was...

that piece of halibut was good enough for jehovah...

TiggyD Thu 24-Oct-13 15:18:39

It's anti one particular cataholic. And he was a terrorist.

I believe the Lewes Pope burning thing is one particular Pope and not just any old Pope.

A quicker way to hell

ScabbyOozingCarbuncle Thu 24-Oct-13 21:52:11

I beat you to it Tiggs! wink
He was only a terrorist because he failed! If they had succeeded they'd probably be saints!

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