To want to live in a Harem?

(57 Posts)
PeriodFeatures Sun 20-Oct-13 18:31:27

I have an 8 week old DD. Since DH has been back at work i've been having a lovely time with her, having coffees with other mums, baking, sorting through huge piles of laundry....that kind of thing.

As I am at this point in our lives, quite content with domesticity, looking after our l family and spending lots of time with other women and children I think it would be fine for him to go and find his next wife.

Once the harem is built, i can share the domestic stuff with some other women, have more children to play with and probably we could share childcare a bit so i could for instance enjoy having a poo on my own now and again.

It annoys me a bit that the British economy won't support this kind of set up. They need to pay men a lot more money to keep at least three wives and even more children.


BOF Sun 20-Oct-13 18:33:01

I think I'd rather just have a wife.

MortifiedAdams Sun 20-Oct-13 18:33:26

You could move to a commune

sonlypuppyfat Sun 20-Oct-13 18:34:40

Who in there right mind would want to spend all their time with other women.

BOF Sun 20-Oct-13 18:36:35

Eh? I love women. What are you doing on mumsnet then?

KirjavaTheCorpse Sun 20-Oct-13 18:37:10

Jesus, no. I don't like other people very much, let alone their children.

Lighthousekeeping Sun 20-Oct-13 18:37:15

You should work at my place. It's all women.

PeriodFeatures Sun 20-Oct-13 18:38:20

That would be a great idea mortified but we've got far too much stuff junk and a bit of an aldi habit. Neither of which a lentil weaving commune would tolerate. Nor would it solve me getting the bed to myself at least four nights a week..

theywillgrowup Sun 20-Oct-13 18:38:52

couuldnt think of anything worse

baby brain has got to you op grin

ICameOnTheJitney Sun 20-Oct-13 18:39:38

Don't you mean a commune rather than a Harem? I mean I wouldn't fuck a man when he felt like choosing me rather than one of his other "wives"

Meringue33 Sun 20-Oct-13 18:40:09

I think raising children in a nuclear family far from relatives is really bloody hard and probably not how nature intended.

Having said that I'd loathe living with either my extended family or in a commune... Unless all the members were handpicked specifically by me.

PeriodFeatures Sun 20-Oct-13 18:40:23

Thanks lighthouse I don't want a job though. Not ever again. Work is horrid. Cuddling babies, baking and chatting is where it's at for me smile

ICameOnTheJitney Sun 20-Oct-13 18:40:30

This thread annoys me. If you want the bed to yourself 4 nights a week then sleep elsewhere ffs.

Sindarella Sun 20-Oct-13 18:41:51

I'll live with you! I have a convent ( well i do for half the week ) its great!
Someone is always around watching the dc, someone getting the dinner on, ironing etc. When dc are in bed we sit around drinking smile

theywillgrowup Sun 20-Oct-13 18:41:59

ha ha op you say that now smile

Sindarella Sun 20-Oct-13 18:42:07

Tea! Drinking tea!

Latara Sun 20-Oct-13 18:42:57

Why would you want to share your husband with other women??

PeriodFeatures Sun 20-Oct-13 18:44:08

Jitney I am his best an most favourite wife so it doesn't matter. He'd fuck me above all others as i am best at it.

Meringue spot on. It's a bit shit isn't it?

Sindarella Sun 20-Oct-13 18:44:30

I think some people think you are serious by the way.....

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Sun 20-Oct-13 18:44:47

It'd only work if there were young fit half naked slave boys to do me all of the housework and fetching and carrying!

ICameOnTheJitney Sun 20-Oct-13 18:45:09

Period so just get some staff.

PeriodFeatures Sun 20-Oct-13 18:46:49

Sindarella You have a convent for half the week? really? I'm packing my habit and prayers now..

Puffykins Sun 20-Oct-13 20:23:57

I'm kind of with you. I've been watching quite a lot of Big Love recently. I can totally see the benefits of plural marriage.

catgirl1976 Sun 20-Oct-13 20:25:52

I would very much like a wife. It would be very helpful

BellEndTent Sun 20-Oct-13 20:35:21

Fuck that! I wouldn't mind a few extra husbands though... grin

Helpyourself Sun 20-Oct-13 21:01:11

Puffy I love Big Love for the sister wives,
but feel a bit queezy when I think about the actual technicalities of sharing DH.

YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo Sun 20-Oct-13 21:35:11

Maybe a bit unreasonable IMHO, I think you're probably in a post baby haze of contentment right now but the novelty will probably wear off in a bit. For now, just enjoy it!

And I hope you're joking about every man having 3 wives and the economy supporting it, how on earth would that actually work unless each man did about 3-4 different jobs to make up for all the people dropping off the job market?! and who would pay for it all?! lol!

Sindarella Sun 20-Oct-13 21:38:47

Oh i wouldn't have to worry about that, my P couldn't manage more than one, once a week, hence the convent ( nuns ) i live in grin

You need 3 things to join;

First and most important - teabags!

Second - willingness to make tea when its your turn.

Third - a bloody good SOH. grin

EBearhug Sun 20-Oct-13 21:42:12

I want staff. And if it's going to be some sort of harem, I want to have a choice of men, rather than be part of the choice of women.

NachoAddict Sun 20-Oct-13 21:42:30

Yanbu to want it for yourself but it wouldn't be my cup of tea. I am not a people person and like other peoples kids even less.

Rather than share your dh couldn't you live with lots of other families, all the men go out to work and all the women stay home and do the childrearing? Again not my cup of tea but sounds like what your after.

BananasInNegligees Sun 20-Oct-13 21:49:13

PeriodFeatures I'm totally with you.
I've been saying this since I had my first DC. only thing is, I'll have to be Alpha wife, sorry. I was here first ok (Grrrrrr bares teeth) but actually I don't think I'd give a shite.
I reckon we should all have a wife.

It all started for me when I had to go back to work after DC1. I figured if DH had another wife(or 3) who lived with us all warm and nurturing and we'd all live happily ever after.

Now, I no longer work but I want still want a wife!

LonelyGoatherd Sun 20-Oct-13 21:50:30

I'd like a harem, if I could pick the other members and kick any out who annoyed me.

Sleeptimenow Sun 20-Oct-13 21:50:48

I bet any group of women would argue lots about whose turn it is to cook and clean, especially if you don't get to choose who your DH also marries, could be complete bitches. The actual sharing thing makes me feel a bit ick, plus any DH would get such a big ego he'd be a pain in the Arse to live with.

BananasInNegligees Sun 20-Oct-13 21:57:48

Sleeptime, that's why you need people of a similar disposition.
Logic dictates if everyone does their bit there's less for everyone to do.

You just need to find a clone really!

Also, my DH wouldn't know his ego from his elbow.
He'd probably be scared smile

perplexedpirate Sun 20-Oct-13 22:00:39

Count me in, sounds lovely!

Sindarella Sun 20-Oct-13 22:10:06

In all seriousness, my close group of friends are all single mothers, kids range from 16 to 18weeks ( thats my ds smile) My P is soon to be ExP for all sorts of reasons, he is waiting for a house before moving out.
At our 'convent' we take it in turns at each others houses, we cheer each other up, help each other out, get a break from our children so we can have a nice bath, not all together its not that kind of convent wink
Sometimes if one of us has got behind on housework or something we all join in an its done in an hour or so.

I dont know what i would do without my 'wives'

YoniTime Sun 20-Oct-13 22:10:48

I would love to live in a sort of hunter-gatherer community where everyone else can take care of my baby while I sleep or go hunt some bears.

But a harem? That means there is a man in charge who has you as his possessions gross no thanks.

Fabsmum Sun 20-Oct-13 22:23:47


I'm thinking of something like this:


It would have to involve massages, a leedle bit of lesbian sex, lashings of hashish, and Turkish delight on tap.

And no fecking children. They'd be off somewhere being looked after by slaves.

YoniTime Sun 20-Oct-13 22:26:09

It all seems nice except being part of a man's property.
Harem without the husband and with some male servants = YY

Fabsmum Sun 20-Oct-13 22:29:09

If the price of being on an endless 18 -30 holiday with sweetmeats thrown in was being a man's property I think I could come to terms with the slight to my feminist beliefs.

YoniTime Sun 20-Oct-13 22:34:56

I do think the optimal harem is the one without an overlord. Freedom AND lazy lounging!

YoniTime Sun 20-Oct-13 22:35:39

I like my stone age fantasy but it doesn't have hot baths...

Morloth Sun 20-Oct-13 22:51:32

I like women a lot as well.

I have often suggested to DH we should get another wife.

I don't think I can adequately express his horror at this suggestion.

As he knows exactly who would be making the arrangements and he would end up with another PITA grumpy womanwho he has to keep happy. wink

Famzilla Sun 20-Oct-13 22:56:41

I'm just impressed that you're managing to get all this baking done with a tiny baby. Bravo.

I want to live in Fabsmum's harem.

Could we not arrange for the Man of the Harem to be some mid-20's lush bodybuilder with a tongue a foot long and other parts to match?

With a few spares knocking around to keep all of us happy since there wouldn't be enough of the Main Overlord to go around.

YoniTime Sun 20-Oct-13 22:58:04

OK we can have Man of the Harem as long as I'm the actual rich Overlord.

YoniTime Sun 20-Oct-13 23:00:58

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA <practises evil overlord laugh> Wait this isn't relaxing...

HerrenaHarridan Sun 20-Oct-13 23:02:13

In all of the communities I have lived in too much stuff was fairly normal as was an aldi habit.
Not all intentional communities are full of lentil weavers although there is usually at least one.

I am currently living alone with my dd and would love to move us both to another community. I miss living with other people so much its almost painful. It really can be ducking hellish though grin

Morloth Sun 20-Oct-13 23:07:53

I always thought it made a lot of sense fir women to live with other women and the younger children with the men coming and going (snurk) as required.

No enforcement of rules though. Just fluid relationships and everyone getting along.

Wouldn't work though. People are people.

Mrsostrich Sun 20-Oct-13 23:17:29

In mine I would have it the other way round.

My other husbands would be Channing Tatum, Tom hardy, that French cook ( or I'd starve ) er... Need someone for conversation too.

My dp could look after the baby and I would bake and have lots of sex.

Morloth Mon 21-Oct-13 07:52:01

I always thought 2 weeks is the maximum you want with any man each year.

So a different man every month woukd beabout right.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Mon 21-Oct-13 19:29:55

The trouble is, Ive never read a trashy novel involving a harem that didnt involve back stabbing, poison, jealousy, plotring with the eunuchs and the odd bit of bumping off the first born! I dont think it would be that nice really!
And I think youd need at least 4 wives. 2 would fight, 3 could result in an unpleasant 2 on 1 ganging up scenario. 4 would at least give you some leeway for teaming up! over thinking it

everlong Mon 21-Oct-13 20:04:48

I'll just take a chef.
That's all I want.

Mandy2003 Mon 21-Oct-13 20:07:20

Eunuchs, thats what we need to look after us. More eunuchs thats what I say!

digerd Mon 21-Oct-13 20:22:26

Yes to eunochs. Big and strong and skilled in cooking, housework and DIY, gardening and devoted. Perfect for me.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Mon 21-Oct-13 20:33:13

No no no! Its always the eunuchs that slip you the poison!

wimblehorse Mon 21-Oct-13 21:48:18

YY I watched a lot of Big Love too when ds 1 was teeny. Would have loved a couple of sister wives to share the drudgery with, have some companionship, someone trusted to share childcare.

In polygamous societies, lower status males REALLY lose out as they don't get to have any wives. Women generally do better as they have a (share of a) higher status/better providing husband.

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