to not do any more ironing after this?

(42 Posts)
MsWilliamTheBloody Thu 17-Oct-13 14:08:12

I don't mind ironing.

If I'm in the mood and have plenty of time I'll stick a film on and get on with it quite happily

DP asked yesterday if I'd iron his shirts because he'd run out. I said okay.

Today, as I'm ironing I notice something in a shirt pocket that I've ironed over. Obviously I take it out.

It's a bit of bent, broken paperclip. Really fecking hot. Hot enough to leave a blister on my finger and painful enough to bring tears to my eyes.


He rang earlier and I told him what happened and if he could not do that again - surely you check pockets before chucking stuff in the laundry anyway?

He hung up. He's now in a mood.


He'll get over it.

However, is this a legitimate excuse not to iron his stuff again?

MortifiedAdams Thu 17-Oct-13 14:09:27

I would reply "you have run out as you haven't ironed any"

Why is it your job?

DwellsUndertheSink Thu 17-Oct-13 14:10:29

absolutely. My DH once told me he didnt like the way I ironed his shirts. I didnt iron another for at least 7 years.

IfYouLoveSomebodyLetThemSleep Thu 17-Oct-13 14:12:53

Mortified some people don't actually mind doing their OH a favour.

He was BU to hang up, and yeah he should have checked his pockets but it was probably just a daft mistake.

MsWilliamTheBloody Thu 17-Oct-13 14:14:07

A daft mistake I can understand.

I don't get an apology though, I get hung up on.


Feminine Thu 17-Oct-13 14:15:05

I agree with ifyou regarding favours.

Storm in a teacup IMO.

I hope your finger is okay though.

CoffeeTea103 Thu 17-Oct-13 14:15:19

Mortified not everyone is your stuff your problem, some people actually like doing things for their partners.

Op, he was being unreasonable to hang up. I had the same types of issues, now I just check the pockets before I iron, cos he never remembers!

Feminine Thu 17-Oct-13 14:15:31

is your DH at work?

BlackeyedSusan Thu 17-Oct-13 14:16:10

ha, befoe we were married, I told him that I would not be ironing his shirts and if he wanted ironed shirts he could do it himself. he got custody of the iron when we split up. my new one has not been out of the box. (nearly 3 years later) I did iron for a funeral, but that was at my mums.

(I have a sticky r key. nearly posted ironed shits!)

IfYouLoveSomebodyLetThemSleep Thu 17-Oct-13 14:17:11

Maybe he is just having a bad day at work. It's not an excuse but it could be a reason.

bigbluebus Thu 17-Oct-13 14:21:21

Only 7 years dwellsunderthesink. My DH classes the day he criticised the way I iron the collars on his shirts as one of the big mistakes in his life. I have not ironed another shirt of his since the day he passed comment and it was met with the response "well you know what to do then" grin. That was more years ago than I care to remember - we have been married for 25 yrs.

He currently has a large pile of shirts awaiting ironing and is doing one each morning for work as he spends every evening on twitter/facebook hasn't had time to do them all. I however am currently ironing everyone else's things.

OP - let him do his own shirts.

Davsmum Thu 17-Oct-13 14:22:16

Maybe he hung up on you, not because of WHAT you said,.. but they way you said it?
My OH has done that if I have started getting 'shouty' :-)

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 17-Oct-13 14:24:59

If he is at work and you ring up and rant though, he isn't going to respond well.

I did this to DH once, it is a mistake I shan't make again.

flipchart Thu 17-Oct-13 14:30:55

Why is it your job?
This load of nonsense always crops up when it comes to chores.

Do you know what - it isn't my DH's job to fill my car up for me ..but he does.

It isn't DH's job to do my banking for me...but he does

It isn't my job to make DS's butties before work but I do

It isn't DS's job to peg my bedding on the line when I have gone out but he does.
but you know what, as a family we are a team and we do stuff for each other so fuck all this bullshit of 'why are you doing it!!!'

YouTheCat Thu 17-Oct-13 14:31:06

I haven't ironed anything since 2006. If OP's husband can't manage to check his pockets before he throws his shirts in the wash then that is a sad state of affairs. I'm presuming he's a grown up? hmm

My ex got the iron when I left. I never looked back.

CoffeeTea103 Thu 17-Oct-13 14:48:52

Well said flipchart!

I completely agree.

cantspel Thu 17-Oct-13 14:49:19

Are you all so perfect that you never make a mistake? never miss a tissue or penny in a pocket?

It is a burn from a hot paperclip. She is not going to die of it or her life be marred forever. I dont know why she even felt the need to mention it let alone reenforce the message of the need to empty pockets. She spoke to him like he was a child so i can see why he hung up.

MortifiedAdams Thu 17-Oct-13 14:50:56

He asked "will you iron my shirts as Ive run out", not "can you do me a favour and iron me a shirt, as I havent got time"

OP does he do.his own shirts usually¿

flipchart Thu 17-Oct-13 14:51:17

If OP's husband can't manage to check his pockets before he throws his shirts in the wash then that is a sad state of affairs. I'm presuming he's a grown up?

Again, a bit of give and take doesn't go amiss.
No one is perfect. DH checks the pockets before things go in the wash and so do I.
He has asked my if I wanted my ipod doing on a 40 degree wash before now, when I said no he said don't leave it in your pocket then!! oops
( i thought I'd checked, clearly not well enough!)

ladymariner Thu 17-Oct-13 14:56:33

I think the op is just looking for an excuse not to do his ironing and has picked up on this.....and I also agree with flipchart.

Davsmum Thu 17-Oct-13 14:56:34

He asked "will you iron my shirts as Ive run out", not "can you do me a favour and iron me a shirt, as I havent got time"

Even that does not imply he thinks its the OPs JOB!

Perhaps he was just giving her the reason for the request. He didn't say 'Iron my shirts!'

You cannot assume someone's intent from what is posted on here - you cannot hear their tone of voice or how they said it?

CoffeeTea103 Thu 17-Oct-13 15:01:13

Assumptions are being made due to how the op's husband made this request. For people who truly work as a team In a relationship this does not matter as you know the intent behind it. He might have had a few seconds to ask her and it came out that way. No need to analyze everything.

Floggingmolly Thu 17-Oct-13 15:05:27

Mentioning this to your dh is one thing. Ringing him at work to take him to task is ridiculous. Couldn't it have waited?
He was presumably busy working.

WorraLiberty Thu 17-Oct-13 15:08:34

The OP didn't ring him at work...he rang her.

But honestly OP, if you simply told him what happened and asked him not to do it again, then hanging up was a very OTT response.

I'm guessing you weren't perhaps as calm as you sound now?

MrsOakenshield Thu 17-Oct-13 15:14:36

if it sounded like you were having a pop at him for what was no doubt a mistake (I'm guessing he didn't think aha! I'll leave that paperclip in there so that when DP does my ironing it'll get red hot and give her a blister), he just didn't want to continue the conversation - perhaps you sounded more accusatory that you thought - I can understand if your finger was still smarting you may not have been too rational yourself?

Kiss'n'make up later.

valiumredhead Thu 17-Oct-13 15:51:46

Completely agree with flip chart's post.

Ouch OP!sad

valiumredhead Thu 17-Oct-13 15:53:33

I do agree about not ringing up and ranting though, makes things worse ime have done it a few times

MsWilliamTheBloody Thu 17-Oct-13 16:04:18

Kiss'n'make up later.



And I have no idea where the posts saying I rang him at work are coming from. I didn't ring him. Don't actually even know the number.


Lovecat Thu 17-Oct-13 16:19:12

People seem to read the first 2 sentences of a post and make up their own story from thereon in on AIBU, OP.

FWIW he shouldn't have hung up on you and I would have told him he was doing his own ironing in future if he couldn't trusted to empty his pockets. (22 years married and never ironed a shirt)

Those saying the OP 'must' have spoken to him like he was a child, she trusted him to behave like an adult when she didn't check his pockets before ironing - assuming that he won't do that and it's her job to check up after him is far more infantilising...

MsWilliamTheBloody Thu 17-Oct-13 16:23:35

I actually think I'm unnecessarily angry in general at the moment.

Little things are making me feel the rage. Suffer from anxiety and depression. I have pills to take when it all gets too much and I'm worried they're becoming a crutch. A little thing upsets me and I'm like,
"Quick. Where are my pills. Numb the feelings. Numb the feelings."

Was actually going to post in Mental Health about it later.

Small things like hot paperclips shouldn't anger people, should they?


betterwhenthesunshines Thu 17-Oct-13 16:29:46

<< small things my DH does anger me irrationally>>

I don't think it's that unusual after 14 years of marriage grin but I also try to be aware that it (probably) is irrational. I suffered a long time with depression and although I'm better now I do think it has a long term impact which I try to be aware of. Not always successfully, cos we're all human. But when you're hurt by something you also get an adrenaline surge so it is harder to act calmy. I still find this difficult, but it does sound like maybe you've both had a hard time recently? It's not easy living with somone with depression either, so maybe time to cut each other some slack and look after each other?

mathanxiety Thu 17-Oct-13 16:51:58

Hope your finger is feeling better MrsWilliam.

Sometimes it's the little things that really get the goat. Don't worry about yourself being angry. Anger like that is usually meant to tell you something. Maybe take some time to sit down and think slowly about how you would like things to be and compare with how they are? Then ask yourself what little steps you can make to get closer to where you want to be? Sometimes it feels better to have a plan and to have some sense of going somewhere.

How come you don't have your DH's work number?

sashh Thu 17-Oct-13 17:05:14

An iron you say, an iron? Er.............. nope still doesn't ring a bell.

comewinewithmoi Thu 17-Oct-13 17:07:04


MsWilliamTheBloody Thu 17-Oct-13 17:13:24

How come you don't have your DH's work number?

I never asked. confused It's not a secret. It's a very googleable shop. He has rung me from it, is probably on my call log somewhere.

Anger like that is usually meant to tell you something. Maybe take some time to sit down and think slowly about how you would like things to be and compare with how they are?

I'm just stressed. Not keeping on top of basic things. Tired. Moving slowly.


Ponderfully Thu 17-Oct-13 17:23:50

Ah you see the trick here is to lie and say you can't iron. 4 years later and he still believes me. Mwah hahaha

BlackeyedSusan Thu 17-Oct-13 18:43:09

I think getting angry when you have had a burned finger is ok. (as long s you do not go over the top) but if you stay angry or your anger is disproportional then that is a problem.

mathanxiety Sun 20-Oct-13 07:21:58

Hope your weekend is going ok, MrsWilliam.

mathanxiety Sun 20-Oct-13 07:22:23

*MsWilliam (sorry)

FergusSingsTheBlues Sun 20-Oct-13 07:29:20

Im thinking calling him at work is a bit OTT....but that must have been fucking painful, OP!

I don't get all this antipathy towards ironing men's shirts....I iron my husbands shirts because I like doing stuff for him. Plus he brings home the bacon while I sit on my ass entertaining two babies....the only time he's done his own was when we were both working full time.

MakeHayIsAWhaleNow Sun 20-Oct-13 07:51:21

Dh irons his own, thankfully (I'm crap at it) but I'll certainly do one for him if he's in a rush - and surely a small bit of paper clip is easily overlooked? I hope your finger is feeling better now though, OP, and I'm sorry things are getting on top of you. That sounds like a bigger issue and one that really does warrant a conversation with your dh.

(This thread reminds me of when a colleague (!) asked me to iron a shirt - I was 18 and working pt in a boarding house, he was a live in tutor. I agreed, but 'accidentally' used dewberry body shop perfume - the really sweet flowery one - as the water spray.... He didn't wear it, and never asked me again! Job done!)

MarysDressSways Sun 20-Oct-13 07:57:21

I don't iron. Saves a lot of bother!
Only thing that gets ironed in this house are my husband's shirts for work. By him obviously. smile

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