if I ask downstairs to stop smoking dope?

(62 Posts)
whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Wed 16-Oct-13 22:02:21

I can smell it in my living room and bedroom, where DD (5 months) is sleeping. We're fairly new in the stairwell, as are they, and don't want to get off on the wrong foot. This is the second time this week. Have noticed it before too, but I'm hoping it's not going to become a regular occurrence. They're not students but a DINKY couple. Normally I'd say they can do whatever they want in their own home, but I really don't want my home to smell as a result of that.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 22:04:38

What is a 'DINKY' couple? confused

You could ask I suppose but I'm not sure what sort of response you'll get.

Cant you just air out your home the way I have to when next door start cooking really strong smelling curries and garlic dishes?

fromparistoberlin Wed 16-Oct-13 22:04:52

erm.....yabu!

maybe wait for a bit longer till you say anything? I think after a few months or so a complaint will land better than straightway??

getdownshep Wed 16-Oct-13 22:06:55

DINKEY- duel income no kids yet

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 22:08:48

Why have I never heard of that god awful phrase? grin

I have no idea what their income has to do with them having a spliff in their home?

Mintyy Wed 16-Oct-13 22:10:31

Yabu, what do you expect them to do?

I thought you meant they were really little and cute. confused

BillyBanter Wed 16-Oct-13 22:11:17

Well smells coming from another flat is more an issue of the fabric of the building than what they are doing. Your next neighbours might like cooking garlic lots or burn everything.

That said my current downstairs neighbours seem to leak more smells out of their flat than the ones before. Maybe a broken extractor fan. And the ones before's food smelled nicer. I was quite tempted to offer them some money to cook for me too it was so yummy smelling.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 16-Oct-13 22:12:39

I thought you meant dinky as in small, I was wondering what their height had to do with anything. I suppose you'd get stoned off of less weed if you were very dinky grin

YANBU to ask, but I doubt they'll see it your way. We have loads of smokers and growers round these parts, none of the bastards share sad

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Wed 16-Oct-13 22:13:26

Worra - DINKY: Double Income No Kids Yet.

Like I said, I have noticed it before and in those instances we have aired the place. It's getting colder now and we don't have double glazing or anything, so airing the place makes it freezing. I'm worried it's becoming more frequent. They've been doing up the flat and not staying there all the time til recently. I wasn't thinking of charging in, flailing arms, Valkyrie hat on, vitriolic against drug use. I was thinking more of just mentioning it to them. Chances are they're not aware that the smell travels up to us. Should I have to put up with the smell of their pot when I go to sleep? Cooking smells are at least legal grin

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Wed 16-Oct-13 22:14:36

I don't think OPIBU!
Last time I checked dope was still illegal! And it may be their home, but why should you have to live with it in her home?!
I would give it a little while longer then take action. I'm not sure what though. Maybe contact the landlord, or call the police non emergency number for advice?

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Wed 16-Oct-13 22:16:03

OP not 'you'.

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Wed 16-Oct-13 22:17:00

saggy - they're owner/occupiers, as are we. It won't be as much of an issue when DD goes into her own room but until we get our arses in gear to get the roof fixed that's not happening

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 22:18:27

I don't think our nostrils know what's legal and what isn't grin

Fair enough you don't like the smell of dope

But if you didn't like the smell of their (legal) cooking, what would you do then?

I'm guessing you'd find a way to cope?

The Police can't do anything btw, I mean they're hardly likely to admit it and no judge in the land would sign a warrant because a couple (regardless of income status) are having a spliff in their own home.

Rosa Wed 16-Oct-13 22:21:46

I would mention it to them . Maybe they don't realise it and can do something about it. If it was a heavy smoker I would not be happy either.

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Wed 16-Oct-13 22:24:33

I'd probably be quicker to mention it if it were cooking and suggest they open a window or something but there's someone in the stair that keeps cooking stuff which smells really good and makes me hungry all the time. I think because it's dope I'm more reluctant. They seem like a nice couple and perfectly reasonable though.

notnowbernard Wed 16-Oct-13 22:26:35

I'd prob let them know I could smell it in my flat and ask if they'd mind smoking in a different room or out the window or something

If someone told me they could smell my smoke in their baby's room I'd be really apologetic and do my best to not offend (don't smoke now but did pre-Dc)

BeCool Wed 16-Oct-13 22:27:07

the smell of cigarette smoke would bother me a lot more than the smell of weed. Do you smell that too or are they smoking it pure?

Do you feel you can say something as it is illegal - i.e. you can kind of hold that over them as in "I can smell your weed in my house and I don't like it, please can you stop" with an implied ..... or I'll ......???

Would you also feel comfortable saying "I can smell your cigarette smoke/cooking/farts in my house and I don't like it, please can you stop?".

It must be annoying smelling your neighbours smells, but I don't see that there is much you can do about it, without calling on the "it's illegal' card which I think WBU.

Perhaps lay down some well insulated flooring?

notnowbernard Wed 16-Oct-13 22:28:27

Nice couple who are dope smokers

Prob quite reasonable tbh wink

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Wed 16-Oct-13 22:30:09

bernard grin

travellingwilbury Wed 16-Oct-13 22:31:51

You can ask them , but they might giggle !

notnowbernard Wed 16-Oct-13 22:32:02

Seriously, have a friendly word

Am sure they'll respond positively

BrianTheMole Wed 16-Oct-13 22:39:58

No harm in mentioning it to them. They probably don't realize.

CackleCackle Wed 16-Oct-13 22:49:20

I'm sure if you mentioned it and asked nicely they will oblige to smoke in another room or sit next to an open window while smoking it. Especially if you say it smells in your DD's room where she sleeps.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Wed 16-Oct-13 22:56:46

I don't see the comparison between "your farty casserole smell is invading my flat" and "The dope you are smoking is seeping into my baby's room".
It's illegal. The fact that it is 'only' dope is irrelevant.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 23:01:45

It doesn't matter if it's a legal smell or 'illegal smell'

The fact is it's just a smell and the OP doesn't like it

But she may have to find a way to cope with it/insulate against it if the smokers won't change where they smoke it.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 16-Oct-13 23:03:54

oH I don't know about the police not doing anything. downstais flat was raided with full riot gear after a lot of complaints from a lot of neighbours. they were only smoking and not selling.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 23:08:43

BlackeyedSusan in order for that flat to have been raided and a Judge to look over the evidence presented before him/her, there must have been very good reason to believe they were dealing and not just having the odd joint after work in front of the TV.

The fact they claimed (and were believed to be) not selling, would have been 'luck' on the dealers side.

Either that or some people told some elaborate lies about them in order to get them busted.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 23:10:36

And the use of full riot gear would mean they were given more than a tip off that the tenant was merely doing more than enjoying a spliff.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Wed 16-Oct-13 23:11:14

I'm sorry Worra, but I think that is bollocks! It's reasonable to expect to have to put up with cooking smells. It is unreasonable to have to put up with the smell or someone smoking an illegal substance.
And presumably, the baby could potentially be affected by the fumes in the same way as she would by passive smoking?

Caitlin17 Wed 16-Oct-13 23:14:54

You could try saying, I smell it and my health visitor will probably smell it, they can be real bloody pains, really uptight, she might report it.

Hopefully as dinkies they will have no idea what hvs really do.

Gosh, is dinky now consigned to the past?

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 23:15:37

I doubt the baby would be any more affected by the fumes of a joint that's travelled up a floor, than it would be directly breathing in traffic fumes.

But that argument aside, my point here is that other than politely ask them to smoke outside their home, there is literally nothing else the OP can do.

Other than move to a detached home with far away neighbours because the police can't do jack shit.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 23:18:38

Report it to who though?

To the police who (if they have nothing better to do) may knock on the door and ask if they'd be awfully kind as to stop?

Or does anyone think the SAS are going to come smashing through the window and tell everyone to get on the floor?

Honestly, no judge in the land will sign a warrant to raid a property because someone is smoking what's considered under law as 'personal use'.

PresidentServalan Thu 17-Oct-13 11:28:20

I always think you have to be very careful that you don't cause any kind of nuisance to them either, iyswim. Given that you have a baby, do you want them knocking your door every time she cries or makes any kind of noise? I have seen this happen, the neighbours were 'live and let live' types until their neighbour made a complaint about them!

PresidentServalan Thu 17-Oct-13 11:30:36

And asking them to smoke outside will just mean they will bother other people. Unfortunately unless you live in a nice detached house in the middle of nowhere you have to contend with the habits of neighbours!

Branleuse Thu 17-Oct-13 11:35:32

i suggest incense sticks in the hall.

Tell them that you can smell weed coming out of their front door into the hall, and would they mind opening a window when they smoke it?

DownstairsMixUp Thu 17-Oct-13 11:35:34

I remember I had this problem in my first flat, I lived on my own with my son who was 10 months old at the time so I found it quite intimidating but I did go and ask, they just blinked at me and mumbled something and shut the door on me! One of my friend's was a PCSO in the area and said he could say something but nothing much could be done, the police did visit them but they didn't answer the door so just posted a note under the door. To be fair, the police were nice to me and understanding but there really wasn't much they could do.

I just moved eventually as couldn't stand the stink, especially when people would visit and the hallways stunk of the stuff. Sorry this reply isn't much help but there isn't much you can do aside from ask, perhaps they will be a bit more polite than my neighbours and smoke outside. Good luck!

BenNJerry Thu 17-Oct-13 11:44:34

There's a big difference between cooking smells and the smell of dope. Cooking isn't harmful - dope is. I wouldn't want my baby subjected to the smell of dope either. It is illegal, not to mention anti-social. I don't think YABU.

Nancy66 Thu 17-Oct-13 11:45:13

There's no harm in approaching them in a friendly way and ask if it would be possible to smoke with their windows open to disperse the smell a little.

BenNJerry Thu 17-Oct-13 11:46:27

Although TBH, you can ask and if they do say no, there isn't a lot you can do.

DropYourSword Thu 17-Oct-13 11:48:11

Go and join them when they have a smoke, soon enough you won't give a shit about the smell and will just want to eat your body weight in munchies!

KellyElly Thu 17-Oct-13 13:31:36

The police won't do a thing. When a friend of mine was caught with some weed, the police gave him a caution and advised him to smoke it in his own home as opposed to Regents Park in future grin

Thants Thu 17-Oct-13 13:36:54

Yanbu op. I'm not anti drugs but drug use should not affect other people! I think you should speak to them. Is it a rental property? If so tell the landlord.

BurberryQ Thu 17-Oct-13 13:37:28

yes well that is the Met, KellyElly, rural police forces such as this one have great fun busting people for .2 of a gram on the say so of their neighbours,,,,,

Beastofburden Thu 17-Oct-13 13:59:11

Can you afford double glazing? noise, smells, etc- its all going to bug you if things are so close together.

boardcreche Thu 17-Oct-13 14:11:32

YANBU - I'd speak to them. It is dope after all therefore not legal. If they're shirty you can always give your local police station a call and tell them there's illegal drug related activity going on ( don't say which drug...). A warning from the fuzz should sort them out...

Enb76 Thu 17-Oct-13 14:17:45

I had neighbours who did this, I politely asked them if they minded smoking in another room as the smell wafted in to my daughter's bedroom. They were incredibly apologetic and I never smelt them again. Most people are perfectly reasonable.

artyone Thu 17-Oct-13 14:18:26

I would ask them to do something about it. I would be just as upset if it was cigarette smoke making it's way into my house/flat etc and I had a baby in there. I would also see what you can do about it, maybe get a draft excluder for the front door if it's coming in that way?

YANBU, second hand smoke is not nice.

HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel Thu 17-Oct-13 14:48:06

YANBU. It's a criminal offence.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 17-Oct-13 16:35:47

Of course you would not be unreasonable, it's just polite.

Objection Thu 17-Oct-13 16:40:31

YANBU. Weed is incredibly antisocial. It stinks.

Fishfingersandwich9 Thu 17-Oct-13 17:26:20

I expect the couple do not realise the smell is carrying into your flat so think you should politely knock on their door and tell them that you smell it in your daughters room and can they smoke in a different room or outside. I don't think any reasonable person would deliberately let smoke travel into a child's room. If they are completely unreasonable then invest in some febreeze air freshener!

MrsFlorrick Thu 17-Oct-13 17:30:35

If they are smoking, could you politely ask them to spark up in a different part of their flat and explain its so your DD is away from the fumes. Most smokers would do that. They may even be embarrassed that you can smell it.

WorraLiberty Thu 17-Oct-13 17:38:22

YANBU - I'd speak to them. It is dope after all therefore not legal. If they're shirty you can always give your local police station a call and tell them there's illegal drug related activity going on ( don't say which drug...). A warning from the fuzz should sort them out...

Really?

Do you honestly think the Police wouldn't think to ask what sort of drug and how she knows?

Then she'll have to tell them she can smell week being smoked...and we're back to the point being repeatedly made on this thread - that it may be illegal, but there's bugger all the Police can/will do about someone smoking a spliff inside their own home.

WorraLiberty Thu 17-Oct-13 17:38:54

*weed

IHaveA Thu 17-Oct-13 17:45:41

YANBU weed stinks sad

I would let them know that you can smell it and that you would be grateful if they would do something about it. I would also try and find out how the smell is getting into your flat. Next time they light up get sniffing...

dancingwithmyselfandthecat Thu 17-Oct-13 18:00:58

All this talk of it being illegal isn't very relevant. The police probably won't do anything and if they do and the couple get convicted all they will get is a caution or fine and it will poison future relations with them. If you go in all guns blazing you will also lose any goodwill they may have. (Rightly or wrongly doesnt matter. When they are frying kippers in their kitchen with the windows shut and playing drum and bass while youre trying to get your dd to sleep the fact that they are unjustified will not be the thought uppermost in your mind.)

So be nice. Go down apologetically and explain that smell tends to waft upstairs. You understand that its their flat to do what they want but its getting into your baby daughters clothes and the smells tend to keep her from sleeping or agitate her (a little white lie which will harm no-one). So would they mind awfully using another part of their flat? And invite them upstairs for a glass of wine as a thank you- they will be easier in future if they like you and don't like the thought of making life difficult for you.

BurberryQ Thu 17-Oct-13 18:07:56

A warning from the fuzz should sort them out
get real!

reelingintheyears Thu 17-Oct-13 18:24:03

I agree it's unpleasant, I wouldn't actually care about it being hash but it fucking stinks.
We have a similar problem where DD can't have her bedroom window open at times because downstairs smoke in the back bedroom underneath DDs.
During the summer it was pretty bad.
I really like them and haven't said anything but it's really strong sometimes.

dancingwithmyselfandthecat Thu 17-Oct-13 18:48:24

Btw I am not a dope smoker but this story should suggest the likely police attitude. When the police were taking statements after our previous house was burgled I asked if they minded if I rolled and smoked a cigarette as it had been very stressful. The police officers reply was "that's fine, just make sure its not a funny one...we had someone do that the other day and it was very awkward asking them to put it out."

misspontypine Thu 17-Oct-13 18:50:42

Yanbu.

I would go and politely speak to them. We had the same problem but with just cigarette smoke, passive smoking increases tge risk of sids which was a big worry of mine especially when ds was under 6 months.

If they agree to open a window/smoke in a different room take over some wine and a thank you card.

VerySmallSqueak Thu 17-Oct-13 18:54:50

I love that the police have been called the fuzz. grin

Makes me feel all nostalgic!

Seriously I think that having a word will not stop the problem and may cause more problems.

It's not right,and I would like it not to be the case,but that's my honest opinion.

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