to be envious of my friend and a bit miffed

(77 Posts)
LEMisdisappointed Wed 16-Oct-13 14:28:23

Not sure if miffed is the right word.

lovely friend. Lovely hard working family. Comfortably off.

We do ok. Dp works like a slave, me sahm but have mh issues that are preventing me from working just now I certainly dont consider us to be hard up at the moment.

I have been walking my friends dog. On the odd occasion. When I walk in her house I have to strip off the minite I walk through the door its like the tropics only the dog home.

I honestly thought everyone worried about fuel bills. We still are putting jumpers on in evening no heating unless its bitter twice this year.

I might start spending the day at hers " kerping the dog company" luxuriating in the warm

V envy

Ragwort Wed 16-Oct-13 14:35:24

I think we all (occasionally) feel a bit 'miffed' about other people's lives - your friend might envy the fact that you are a SAHM.

I am a SAHM too (and have the heating on grin) but sometimes I envy friends with interesting careers and financial independence.

I think the best thing is that we all count our blessings smile - whilst there are others who are 'better off' than us all, there are many people who are a lot 'worse off'. I do voluntary work with a group of very vulnerable people and it helps me put things into perspective.

havingamadmoment Wed 16-Oct-13 14:37:05

There are probably other things she cuts back on in reality. We have a warm house - I hate being cold. I would rather cut back in other areas than cut back on the heating.

LEMisdisappointed Wed 16-Oct-13 14:38:28

The miffed bit is the wasting gas rather than lifestyle envy. smile but not seriously miffed

LEMisdisappointed Wed 16-Oct-13 14:39:15

But having no one needs a warm house when they are not in it!

tinyturtletim Wed 16-Oct-13 14:40:49

I am the same as having. I would rather spend on having a toasty house all winter than say chocolate andbiscuits in the food shop

oranges Wed 16-Oct-13 14:41:33

are you sure the heating is on? My flat used to be incredibly warm all the time, even with no heating. some houses just stay hotter than others.

tinyturtletim Wed 16-Oct-13 14:41:41

We all get envious by the way. My friend has a daughterthat is younger and can do everything that mine can't.

Ragwort Wed 16-Oct-13 14:42:01

Perhaps they need to keep the heating on for the dog grin ?

littlewhitebag Wed 16-Oct-13 14:42:35

So her heating is on but the family are all out? That is just sheer wastefulness.

everlong Wed 16-Oct-13 14:46:39

She's keeping the heating on for her dog maybe?

Not something to be miffed about surely.

nurseneedshelp Wed 16-Oct-13 14:56:56

I'm sat here freezing with my massive stinky dalmatian snuggled up on my knee! Can't afford to put the heating on but dc will be home soon so maybe I ought to.....

tinyturtletim Wed 16-Oct-13 14:57:59

Nurse you need a fluffy onesie :-)

LEMisdisappointed Wed 16-Oct-13 14:58:08

But is it wasteful? Someone said its more cost effective to have on all the time?

LEMisdisappointed Wed 16-Oct-13 14:59:50

The dog is going to overhear everlong im not miffed in a nasty way I shall just tell her when I see her x

Chocotrekkie Wed 16-Oct-13 15:01:01

My house is really warm without the heating on - it hasn't been on yet this winter and we haven't even put jumpers on.

We went a bid overboard with insulation, windows are new, south facing and it's mid terrace and the garden is high so we get sheltered from the wind.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 15:01:08

I was brought up in a cold house and as a result, I really don't like central heating.

We only put it on for 20 mins in the morning and occasionally 20 mins at night...unless it's absolutely freezing outside.

I don't feel the cold much and nor do my kids. In fact the kids are always moaning that the heating is too high in class and they strip off to short sleeves as soon as they get in there.

Wearing jumpers/thick PJs in the winter comes naturally to me, but sitting around the house in a t.shirt doesn't.

HulaHooperStormTrooper Wed 16-Oct-13 15:02:36

nurse you aren't the only one. My heating is set to 18 during the day which feels a lot chillier that it sounds and then I turn it to 22 at about half 2 so its nicer for the children.

angelos02 Wed 16-Oct-13 15:03:59

If you are 'comfortably off', surely you wouldn't think twice about putting the heating on.

PresidentServalan Wed 16-Oct-13 15:10:20

I put the heating on all day on low for the cats when the weather is really cold - they are indoor cats. It also means the house is warm when I get home from work.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 15:10:23

Can I ask a really silly question about heating because I can't be bothered to read the boiler manual? blush

When I turn it on, you hear a 'click' when the dial gets to 22 and the radiators get nice and hot.

But if I turn it to anything less than 22, the radiators are cold?

Is this normal? And what's the point in the numbers below 22 then?

It's a new boiler and has been like that since it was installed.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 15:11:01

Sorry, I meant 21.

BrokenSunglasses Wed 16-Oct-13 15:14:49

I hate the rising fuel bills and it does worry me that heating will eventually become unaffordable, but I just can't give up central heating. Cold makes me grumpy, and I am generally freezing if its less than 15 degrees, even when I have four layers on and a blanket.

Naoko Wed 16-Oct-13 15:20:43

She hasn't got storage heaters does she LEM? Total pain in the arse, those. You can't just turn them on and off, you have to be psychic because if you decide you're cold now, then you need to have turned them on yesterday or they won't be warm. So you have to keep them on or off all the time and if the weather changes unexpectedly you either roast or freeze for 24 hours while the heating catches up.

You can't turn them on when you get home either, they heat up overnight and then release their heat gradually during the day (when you're not in) and then usually run out by evening so you freeze your tits off once you get home. I hate them.

Katnisscupcake Wed 16-Oct-13 15:21:22

Yep, all guilty of being envious. I'm envious that you're a SAHM - swap you with my boring bloody job!! As long as you can let me have some of the salary so I can still afford to live though! grin wink

I work from home and still can't afford to have the heating on all day sad and if I do, I need to go around the rest of the house turning off the radiators so we're not heating unused rooms - it's just not worth it to then have to turn them all on again when DH and DD get home!

In the grand scheme of things not that bad, but still... Just fancied a moan...

CuthbertDibble Wed 16-Oct-13 15:22:07

The click is the current temperature. When the dial goes past the click it means you want to increase the temperature and so the heating will kick in.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 15:31:16

Oh I see Cuthbert thanks

So the temp where the dial is, is never below 21?

CuthbertDibble Wed 16-Oct-13 16:04:12

Sounds like it, sounds like you've got a lovely warm house. As it gets colder, if you don't have any heating on, you'll probably find that the click happens at a much lower temperature.

becsbornunderadancingstar Wed 16-Oct-13 16:09:56

Our place is boiling, am here in a T shirt, DH and DS sit about in their pants in the evening watching TV. We haven't switched the heating on yet this year, it's just really well insulated so heat from the oven/kettle etc. keeps the whole place toasty for ages. Maybe she just has good insulation too?

PlatinumStart Wed 16-Oct-13 16:13:38

I grew up in a cold house and whenever I complained was told to "put another jumper on". I therefore spend a small fortune on ensuring my draughty Victorian place is permanently toasty.

digerd Wed 16-Oct-13 16:29:55

When you say 21, do you mean the room thermostat?
My boiler is a condensing 2008 year with a high tech wireless room thermostat. If I put the thermostat to 21 when it is, in 4 minutes it will come on very low. If the room is actually 22, then it will, of course not come on.
Over night my sitting room ,where the thermostat is, the target temp is programmed to 16.5 so goes off. But it does go down to 17 . It comes on again at 5.30 with a target temp of 20 or 21, atm depending on what I set is as. The boiler has numbers 1,2,3,4,5,6, and max.

HappyMummyOfOne Wed 16-Oct-13 16:29:57

I leave mine set at a minimum temperature when not in for the animals, its my duty to look after them.

She may be envious you dont have to work, everyone has a moment of envy.

Beastofburden Wed 16-Oct-13 16:35:35

"worra" the 21 is your thermostat. So if you pick 21, you are telling your boiler, I want the house to be 21 degrees please.

Boilers sticks out its little thermometer and thinks, hmmm, house is currently 21 dgrees already, no need to put the radiators on.

You fiddle with the dial and put it up to 23 degrees.

Boiler thinks, ooops she actually wants 23 degrees, better put those radiators on then. Untill the house is 23 degrees.

If it was a cold day, and the natural temperature indoors was say 10 degrees, then if you had the dial turned to 15 degrees, the boiler would get busy with those radiators until the house was 15 degrees warm. So the lower numbers are there for when it gets colder.

Beastofburden Wed 16-Oct-13 16:36:50

cross posted...

marzipanned Wed 16-Oct-13 16:37:54

I'm envious of those of you with warm houses grin

Last winter was our first in this house and I took my usual approach of 2 hours morning and 2 hours night. We got a terrible damp and mould problem. Wish I lived in a cosy new build now.

digerd Wed 16-Oct-13 16:44:11

My boiler is in the cold garage and has no way of knowing the room temperature, that is the role of the room thermostat that relays its message to the boiler via a sensor attached to the boiler All a bit sci-fi grin.

ExcuseTypos Wed 16-Oct-13 16:46:50

LEM something else to think about- when I come in from walking the dog I always think the house is boiling hot. It's because it's cold outside and you are hot from walking. So the house feels stifling even if the heating is on very low.
If I sit down for a cuppa, it then feels quite cold.

DidoTheDodo Wed 16-Oct-13 16:49:04

Just wait till she hits a certain age and gets the hot flushes. She'll be switching off the heating and leaning out of those windows before you can say Jack Robinson.

ExcuseTypos Wed 16-Oct-13 16:49:29

But I do agree, leaving the heating on for a dog, all day is very wasteful. I wouldn't do that unless it was absolutely freezing outside.

YoureBeingADick Wed 16-Oct-13 16:49:48

You are miffed that she is wasting her own money? confused

Could i suggest a hobby maybe?

ExcuseTypos Wed 16-Oct-13 16:55:22

Rather harsh comment, YoureBeingADick

<resists the urge to comment on your username>

YoureBeingADick Wed 16-Oct-13 17:02:44

Maybe so. Maybe not. I think if this is really got OP miffed she has too much free thinking space in her head and could perhaps benefit from filling that space with a hobby. Although i suppose for some people, finding things to be envious about is a hobby.

horcruxmanzini Wed 16-Oct-13 17:03:54

I've got an old, cold, damp prone house. My builder AND my dad have told me not to be mean with heating during the winter, even now I've had everything lagged and insulated to within an inch of its life, because letting it get too cold then trying to heat it up quickly is, apparently, only going to create more problems.

my story, I'm sticking to it

digerd Wed 16-Oct-13 17:04:13

Most dogs do not need heating if they have a double coat of undercoat and top coat, unless it's one of those hairless dogs or a few other breeds with single short thin coats. They also have a blood temperature 1 degree higher than ours, my vet told me.

Laquitar Wed 16-Oct-13 17:07:55

Our heating is always on as we have my parents here. Not only they are old and ill but they lived in spain and not used to this weather.

Im dreading the bill this year.we cut down on everything else.

Preciousbane Wed 16-Oct-13 17:09:08

We have constant thermostat wars as DH feels the cold and was bought up in a centrally heated house whereas I was bought up in an unheated house the equivalent of Siberia.

When we got our lovely cat last year I arrived home from work to a tropical hothouse as he had left the heating on for the cat! We had words and she makes do with her bespoke fur coat now.

marzipanned Wed 16-Oct-13 17:30:26

horcrux this is an extremely stupid question but how did you go about getting everything insulated? We live in a rental so would it be worth it cost wise? Your house sounds a lot like ours.

precious we bought a heated igloo to complement our cat's bespoke fur coat (love that) - I don't recall it being that expensive and it gets very toasty inside.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Oct-13 17:36:16

Ahh yes thanks for the explanations, it's all clear now. The dial/thermostat is a few feet away from the front door (open plan house) so I expect it'll change in the Winter. I got the boiler last April so haven't experienced this yet.

I especially loved this explanation because it's so clear, "Boilers sticks out its little thermometer and thinks, hmmm, house is currently 21 dgrees already, no need to put the radiators on."

grin grin

littlewhitebag Wed 16-Oct-13 17:37:09

I have never left the heating on for the dog. She us a lab and she really doesn't feel the cold. She swims in the pond when it is snowing!

I get too warm and hate the heating being on constantly. I can afford it but just don't like it.

everlong Wed 16-Oct-13 17:43:23

I put the heating on for the dogs grin

When they come in after a walk soaking wet, even after towelling them they are cold.

I wouldn't want to sit there like that would you?

LEMisdisappointed Wed 16-Oct-13 18:27:25

As i said, miffed not the right word, just a bit hmm that she is wasting money/energy - i'm not going to lose sleep over it though. I just thought everyone was anal about saving money these days - just me then grin

I am sure there are plenty of things my friend envies me for - although being a SAHM isn't one of them i don't think, she works part-time in a job she loves - best of both worlds, the caaahhh grin

Yourebeingadick -fair comment, what hobby would you suggest? My DP is always going on about "needing a hobby", he does actually have one, although the poor sod doesn't often have time to persue it. I'm open to suggestions......nothing that allows too much thinking time, obviously. In all honesty I need a job, dog walking is a consideration (and would be a good excuse for a pair of decent waterproof boots that im eyeing up).

In all honestly i suspect my friend was probably just in a rush and hasn't sorted the timer on the boiler yet - I had to go around switching lights off yesterday morning (ok, i realise i am probably appearing a little obsessive now)

mrsjay Wed 16-Oct-13 19:41:46

I dont understand people who waste heat and heating a house when nobody is home Lem I think you should just stay in with the dog for a few hours shame to waste the heat on the pooch smile

Oh have you considered dog walking as a sideline My dog walker was a sahm and started her own business

expatinscotland Wed 16-Oct-13 19:43:29

It's a dog. It has a fucking fur coat. YANBU.

LEMisdisappointed Wed 16-Oct-13 20:09:27

mrsjay - definately, i have years of doggie experience so it would certainly be a good avenue for me (i just don't like being cold!) am sat here with two jumpers,my own dog on my feet covered with a fleecy blanket and im still cold and grumpy - DP on the other hand, sat with just a T-shirt on hmm

gastrognome Wed 16-Oct-13 20:45:06

You would probably think the same walking into our house. Essentially, the thermostat is rubbish and ridiculously hard to programme, so the heating often kicks in at bizarre times of day. We've tried to sort it but it's very temperamental.

Iamsparklyknickers Wed 16-Oct-13 21:21:01

My pampered cats get those heating pad thingys under their favorite napping spots - they seem to prefer somewhere with the direct heat source they can sprawl over anyway - pretty sure you can get them specially for dogs.

Personally I prefer a hot water bottle to the heating anyway. The air gets to 'thick' for me when it's too hot.

Lisavarna Wed 16-Oct-13 21:52:42

Who ARE these people who put the central heating on for their dogs?? I mean, dogs have coats ffs!! They hardly need the heating on if they are indoors, what a waste of money!

Awomansworth Wed 16-Oct-13 22:14:20

We pay into our oil account all year round in order to keep our heating on 24/7 during the winter, we live in a very old house and ds has ashma. I never thought I'd here myself say it... but I wish we had a gas supply, would be much cheaper than oil.

We pay around £800 to fill our oil tank, and it will only last around 3 months during the winter and that's with the thermostat set to 18, so not exactly hot.

I would rather give up other things than have a cold house.

everlong Wed 16-Oct-13 22:16:56

I put it on for them when they're wet after walk.

olgaga Wed 16-Oct-13 22:50:12

I think YABVVU because its absolutely none of your business.

Your friend goes out to work and likes to come home to a warm house.

Why does it matter to you?

ScarerAndFuck Thu 17-Oct-13 01:09:55

Is the dog well?

I know that sounds odd, but last year we took in a stray terrier that had been abandoned and he turned out to be very ill.

He had bone cancer and if he was cold he shivered and hunched over and could hardly walk and was in pain, I can't describe how bad he was, but it was very distressing to see him that first time it got cold and it affected him so badly. He was in a terrible state and I thought we would lose him there and then.

So after that we had to leave the heating on all the time for him and make sure he had lots of cushions and blankets in his bed. He seemed to feel the cold so much more badly even if it felt quite warm to everyone else.

He died seven weeks after we took him.

ohmymimi Thu 17-Oct-13 01:21:09

Iamsparkly - my cats are my heating pads. My ch is not going on before 1 Nov, come what may. Luckily both cats like to snuggle.

Maybe she makes sure its on for you? You're walking her dog, its starting to get a bit nippy (the weather, not the dog) and she's making sure you have warmth when you come in from doing her a favour? If this is a possibility say she doesn't need to and the next time she might leave it off.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Thu 17-Oct-13 01:26:34

Scarer sad Poor little woof - but I bet he enjoyed his time with you x

LEM - I think dog walking would be a brilliant little business for you! You could do as much or as little as you feel able to and you can't get better co-workers grin In the meantime, take your book & keep her pooch company!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 17-Oct-13 01:29:41

We have ours on all day, controlled on the thermostat so that it clicks on and off to maintain a constant temperature.

I'm a SAHM with a preschooler so I am here a lot during the day, but if we go away then I leave the heating on but put the thermostat a couple of degrees lower - I hate coming home to a cold house.

BloodiedGhouloshes Thu 17-Oct-13 02:31:35

We have a thermostat too and it goes on and off. Just out of curiosity- what do people set theirs at? My former boss used to set hers at 24 which would render me unconscious. Last year we set ours at about 19, but already this year I have cranked it up to 20 which is about my limit. We used to live in a really cold climate (sub zero minus at least 15-20 degrees ) and in those days thought 14 in the house was toasty!

(Not commenting on the fact that my DH leaves the electric blanket on for the dogs . But only if we are at home, so I always have to check the fucker is off before going out).

passedgo Thu 17-Oct-13 09:07:06
mrsjay Thu 17-Oct-13 09:11:41

mrsjay - definately, i have years of doggie experience so it would certainly be a good avenue for me (i just don't like being cold!)

I suppose a lovely summer stroll with a happy dog is lovely wet windy and freezing not so much ,

MsPickle Thu 17-Oct-13 09:16:21

We live in a Victorian conversion flat-we've experimented with different ways of running heating and it's definitely more cost effective for us to run at a steady very low once it's cold so it always feels cosy to visitors.

On the dog walking front-our cat sitter did a course through battersea dogs home about pet care when she set up so she's got specialist knowledge about administering medication etc and insurance so she looks after all sorts and has a great time!

ScarerAndFuck Thu 17-Oct-13 09:17:28

ChippingIn he was gorgeous, and for six of the seven weeks you wouldn't have known he was ill unless he got too cold. He deteriorated quickly at the end but we know he had six better weeks with us than he would have had on the streets where we found him or in a shelter, so I'm just glad we were able to give them to him.

We got him a fleecy coat for walks and kept the house warm and he was just lovely, very affectionate and loving.

TheArticFunky Thu 17-Oct-13 09:24:09

I think those of us who grew up in cold damp homes overcompensate when we get our own homes.

The only heating in my childhood home was a gas fire in the living room and we only had hot water once a week. It was freezing and you never got warm.

I now have a very small house with an efficient central heating system. I keep our house warm and toasty. The heating isn't on at the moment because it's set to come on if the temperature drops below 20c and as it's fairly warm outside it hasn't kicked in. I pay less in energy bills than friends with draughty cold houses.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Thu 17-Oct-13 09:27:55

scarer - flowers

I don't think you can compare x temperature in your house with x temperature in someone else's house because it really does depend on where your thermostat is located and draughts etc.

passedgo Thu 17-Oct-13 10:16:14

I think having a cold house because of a middle class hairshirt mentality is just sad. What's the point? It only saves a few pounds a week. Victorian homes didn't have central heating but they were densely packed with people, and there would have been a fire on in every room. They were not designed to be kept cold in winter.

LEMisdisappointed Thu 17-Oct-13 17:56:41

passedgo - who has a middleclass hairshirt mentality??? I certainly don't - i cannot afford to have the heating on during the day, I cannot afford generally to have it on in the evenings but im not going to whine about it. I do have a log burner and we use that rather than the heating as it is more efficient and is a far niceer heat, but we haven't had it on yet. I was bemoaning my friend heating an empty house! We have a pre-paid meter and it really brings it home to you how much you are paying per day for gas - Its staggering. I can promise you it saves far than a few pounds a week.

oliveoctagon Thu 17-Oct-13 22:07:56

I am currently wearing teeny shorts and top and its warm in here. I havent once turned my heating on since last feb. My place is just naturally hot, and my mum is always moaning its boiling in here.

DeWe Thu 17-Oct-13 22:26:25

Our house was so hot at times last winter that we had the windows open in freezing weather.
Actually our heating developped a fault. It inevitably started Friday night and was better by Monday morning, but the heating wouldn't turn off at all and just got hotter and hotter.
Problem was there were several things it could be (apparently) and so they needed to be here when it was doing it.

Drgonzosattorney Thu 17-Oct-13 22:29:11

Sounds great, invite a few friends round and have cocktails! Grass skirts as dress code?

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